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  • GypsyButterfly

    A Note Just For You

    By GypsyButterfly

    If I don't phone, text or email you, please know you're still in my mind & heart. Which is why I can't contact you. It would hurt too much. It might lessen in time, but, I don't know if it will ever completely go away. If you reach out to me (which I hope that you will), I may not answer or get back with you. Believe me, I want to, more than anything. I'm keeping all of the messages. Even if they seem to be deleted, I saved them elsewhere. Right now, I don't have my phone on much & I'm not checking my email. The phone would probably be the best place,though, when you want to get a hold of me.
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Our community blogs

  1. la-femme
    Latest Entry

    I'll post the gory details of the birth when I get a bit more time but for now here's some pics of our gorgeous new daughter.... The first 2 were just after she was born...

     

    :(

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    Recent Entries

     PreMedBabe
    Latest Entry

    wow..so i can blog here.

     

    COOL!

  2. So, I've had this horrible cough off and on for over a month. I had

    a bad cold/flu thing about a month ago. It went away after a few weeks.

    Then about two weeks ago it flared up again. But this time it was just a bit

    of a dry cough, drinking water or sucking on hard candy pretty much kept it

    under control. That was until last week.

     

    I started having some adema issues in my legs/thighs. It was bad when I

    was sitting up..easing up when I laid down at night. Then the cough got worse

    to the point that muscles were hurting. chest started hurting. I had trouble laying

    down at night to sleep. My blood pressure went up. I started feeling like my stomach

    was full ALL the time. So I was lucky if I ate two small meals. Had to stop drinking milk

    because it was clogging me up to the point I couldn't breath. Then the breathing thing

    got scary bad. Walking from one room to another was killing me. I couldn't walk far at

    all. I've barely left my home in over 2 weeks now because I know I'd have some kind

    of coughing fit. Which has weakened my bladder control Ugh..

     

    So this past weekend it got really bad. I mean I barely functioned. Yesterday afternoon

    I finally had enough and had hubby take me to the ER. Spent 7 hours there being poked

    and x-rayed. CT scanned and made to feel miserably tired by the end of it all..they were

    looking to see if I had congestive heart failure or COPD(lung disease). Found that neither was

    the issues..everything was fine until they tested the last vial of blood they drew and found

    an abnormal reading, thinking it may have been a possible blood clot that is when they sent

    me for the dreaded CT scan. After another hour or so they learned that the pneumonia they

    didn't see on the the xray showed on on the CT..no blood clot.. but I was sick. got pumped up

    on antibiotics at the ER..plus a couple of breathing treatments. Sent me home with an asthma

    inhaler And two scripts for more antibiotics and steriods. So now I'm doped up on drugs that's

    keeping me from sleeping properly..they don't warn you that you could lose sleep over it.

    Meh.. oh well. I'm alive and I can breath. I have a shelf of all new drugs to take for the next

    5 days or so. By Friday I'm hoping to function almost normally.

     

    If it doesn't work I'll be back to the ER to see if there is something else to help me. But so far I

    feel about 50% better than I did this time last night. YAY me.

     

    And that was my weekend drama.

     

    :character0051: :sex023:

  3. Here's pics of the animals who live at the Beach House ...

     

    Click on the pic of Archie and it will open up an album of few more pics ....

     

    [url="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/HighlandCoo/BabyAnimals?authkey=qRsKN--ow9E"][img=http://lh3.google.co.uk/HighlandCoo/Rromr3aSRHE/AAAAAAAACEg/Rzh-yfL0E_0/s160-c/BabyAnimals.jpg][/url][url="http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/HighlandCoo/BabyAnimals?authkey=qRsKN--ow9E"]Baby Animals[/url]

  4. SomethingNew
    Latest Entry

    Having trouble on a couple different sites with my blogs posting the right way so I thought I'd try here.

  5. cammy84
    Latest Entry

    ...easy to say hard to do.

     

    I know it's right but I don't want to accept it. I don't want to let go but I know I have to. I'm confused.

     

    I feel guilty when someone makes me smile or laugh, like it's wrong to do it when I'm feeling so bad the rest of the time. I'm not sure if this makes sense at all but I'm not really making much sense generally at the minute.

     

    *sigh* life just sucks.

  6. Gosh, it even took an effort to find this blog again.

     

    I am kind of scared to know what might be written in my other blog entries from years ago.

     

    Happy to say, life is good. Life feels good.

     

    No more angst and trouble.

  7. By Lily : - Briefing as requested.....

     

    First of all I want to thank each and every lady that joined the discussion today, each of you brought a new and different perspective to the question of dealing with a Girlfriend and Husband/partner/BF and each perspecitve has given food for thought to each of us...

     

     

    Everyone has a very different idea of what constitutes a agreeable arrangement between partner and girlfriend

    some beleive that honestly and open communication is the key, while others beleive that sometimes keeping a portion of your life to yourself is self preservation and protective of your marriage..

     

    Some beleive that giving 50/50 is very easy to do while others think that your husband/partner is always first and that will never change...

     

    Above all we learned from each other that each of us lives in our own personal space and for each of us the situation requires different expectations from our partner and different expectations from ourselves and that until such time that we are living that which we talk so openly about we really do not know what will happen and what is really a realistic view or unrealistic view of the expectations we have of our husband/partner at that moment.

     

    Today the Discussion was open and honest and many eyes were opened to how others think and how we might deal with the situation as it presents itself. I once again applaud you Ladies for your ability to talk in such a free manner and bring to the table your past expierences and views of a subject that is very close to all of us

     

     

     

    "QUOTE(Mouse @ Mar 3 2007, 02:46 PM)

    Just a suggestion for something to consider, mystic.

     

    I think it might be good for anything that receives a vote in one poll to be carried over to the next. Maybe the cumulative votes would indicate an interest more so than what one poll might suggest? Maybe not, but it's a thought. Can we vote for more than one thing? I don't think so but don't know for sure. Having 'other' may be a good thing, too, and asking for clarification might bring forth other issues that are of interest. That way, if someone has more than one choice, both topics are shown as being of interest. All of the above? None of the above? I don't know, maybe it's just me, but I like being able to offer something other than a vote to a poll sometimes. Like now. lol It helps me to feel more involved.

     

    I also think that there should be something in the general forum about this. Unless there is and I just didn't see it. lol It's entirely possible.

     

    Anyway.... "

     

     

     

    Mouse, I have taken the liberty and added *Other* ( hope you didn't mind Mystic ! )

    and I'm sure we can find a way to structure the polls, to give more than one choice !

     

    We can but try.

     

     

     

    Lily

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  8. I was unsuspecting...

     

    You asked me last night, "Who *are* you?", "Where did you come from?"

     

    I've been asking the same for 16 days.

     

    I know I love you. I've known since you said your stuttered goodbye in the underground car park. I knew it when you quietly whispered it in my ear.

     

    You love me when I'm grumpy, and I love the way you hold onto me all night, refusing to let go. My heart is the size of an orchard.

     

    I will hold your hand through this. I want you to grow, to be, to live. You're so talented, so funny, so alive.

     

    I'm so grateful for you.

     

    I'm so grateful.

     

    So lucky.

     

    So happy.

  9. I have been given some wonderful presents, some have cost a small fortune, some next to nothing, but I received a gift, from a very very dear friend, and it was personal, hysterically funny, and so typically her..

     

     

     

    pure Magic..

     

     

     

    Hugs and Slugs, squishy vampire snogs and all....

    You are ONE amazing woman !

  10. Kindred
    Latest Entry

    Whilst waiting patiently for her, I sat there scanning the room; observing the spider plant in need of watering, the doodles penned onto a note pad, the aromatherapy burner about to explode because their was no water left in it . The comfort of the chair I was sitting in, aware that I was swinging my legs to and fro like a child waiting impatiently with hands grabbing the sides of the leather; wishing I had asked for decaf as I know I'll be up all night buzzing ...and there on the desk, a simple silver picture frame, and inside the following writing. It made me smile, it made me cry and it made me think, how very true the words are. It was also an interesting conversation starter...

     

    People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;

    Forgive them anyway.

     

    If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

    Be kind anyway.

     

    If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

    Succeed anyway.

     

    If you are honest and frank, People may cheat you;

    Be honest and frank anyway.

     

    What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

    Build anyway.

     

    If you find serenity and happiness, They may be jealous;

    Be happy anyway.

     

    The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

    Do good anyway.

     

    Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

    Give the world the best you've got anyway.

     

    You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway.

     

    Mother Teresa

  11. Mouse
    Latest Entry

    I haven't been here for so long, it feels alien to me. And yet...this is still mine. What a wonderful feeling.

     

    The last time I was here, I remember spouting off about how I can't put myself out there in any regard. Blah blah blah. I'm in a better place now. Still not quite out there, but at peace with it all. For now, at least. Life is still a challenge, but whoever doesn't find it challenging is either quite insane or blessed beyond belief. But then we're all blessed beyond belief. We just have to choose to recognize it. I guess it's not that easy for some. My heart goes out to them.

     

    I really hadn't intended to write anything. LOL I just stopped in to see if I still knew how. Guess I do. Oh, how I've missed it here. Not so long away next time. Now to perv some dear friends' profiles. LOL

  12. I've just watched The Secret again. I really needed that kick up the arse.

     

    It feels so good to feel that i am in control again. I deleted the category 'when i feel cranky' because that does not bring me joy. I'm thinking of starting up a Gratitude category to replace it.

     

    I saw an episode of Oprah recently where she had people from The Secret. I guess it's not such a secret anymore.

     

    It's not a new theory anyway. From the first time i saw it i knew it was true.

     

    Last night for the first time in a long time i went to bed thinking about what i am grateful for. And today i feel much better then i have in a long time.

     

    'Whatever it is you are feeling

    is a perfect reflection

    of what is in the process

    of becoming'

    from The Secret

     

    I was reminded today that i am not just this body i see in the mirror that is referred to as a 'meat-suit' in The Secret. I am energy. There is no limit to what i can create. I only need to believe it and feel it.

     

    I wasn't sure where i was going wrong. I was asking and asking but i wasn't feeling like i deserved anything i wanted. And i think perhaps i needed to be more grateful for what i already had.

     

    I want to be alignment with the universe. To feel passion and joy. I feel the need to do some research. Search the net and see what i can find out about the teachers of The Secret, past and present.

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  13. confused64
    Latest Entry

    I feel like crap, have a hangover cause I hit the bottle tonight. About a month ago I broke up with my girl, the woman that I fell in love with, we were two people on a crossed course, she wanted me to just pick up and leave my job, go elsewhere that I knew nobody and support her. I can't see myself doing that, to me, you have to work together for a common goal. But I miss her something terrible; yeah, I go out on a date here and there, but it's not the same. I miss her eyes, the quiet times when we'd go fishing and she'd laugh at me cause I'd be screeching when the worms were curling around my finger. Yeah, we had good times, and lots of bad times, any relationship does. Don't make the hurt go away any faster or be any less. She says I have no reason to be hurt, cause I broke up with her; can't see that it makes any difference who broke up with who, still hurts the same no matter what.

  14. Indigo
    Latest Entry

    Time to take a break from here, so this blogsville is closed until further notice.

     

    Aki.

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    Recent Entries

    Matty
    Latest Entry

    OK alot of the new people will not know who i am. But there is still a lot of the older shy's crowed on that know phalen and i.

     

    Hears a update of what's going on in our lifes.

     

    1. Virginia Usa is about to get same sex marrage if that goes through this month. We are looking at getting maryed in October 2014.

     

    2. We are in the middle of buying our 1st house. We should close on it at the end of the month.

    Its a fixer upper but it will be all ours no more living with her mom.

     

    3. I take care of 2 very autistic kids. When there in school i work a split shift.7am-8:30 am then 1-7pm est. When there out of school i am there 12 hrs a day. The whole month of August i am working 12 hr shifts until school starts back up in september.

     

    4. Phalen is working 2 jobs during the summer. 1 at a amusement park and her reg job at a hard ware store in back office. The amusment park job is sessional she will be done with that this year at the end of October them we will see eachother more.

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    Recent Entries

    I've been with my GF for over 6 months now. I couldn't be happier. We're both nurses, so unless one of us gets "stuck" with the night shift, we spend nearly ever night together. We rarely fight and we just so happy together. I'm madly in love with her and I know she feels the same. We even have discussed moving in together.

     

    However, I just worry that something is going to wrong. I mean I'm the first girl she's ever dated. I'm not saying she's the one I want to spend my life with, but I could see her being the one for me. Maybe just panic is setting in because I'm realiizing just how much in love I am... I'm not one to open the door to my heart that often, but when I do... I've let her in and she's becoming the most central part of my world. Maybe I'm just panicing for no reason, maybe I'm just really realizing just how much she means to me, maybe I'm just afraid of getting hurt again, maybe I'm just being silly.

     

    When things are going so good, why do I over analyze things??? Can't I just turn off my brain and follow my heart???

  15. It was a mistake for me to return to shys.

     

    I came back in late October rather by surprise. I still can't believe I did it. Since then I've been dealing with old wounds. Those of you who know that story will get my reference. I never got closure. I still feel tremendous pain. I gave good wishes and conveyed a sense understanding since I've been back. Peace was offered, but that is not what I felt so I didn't accept. I am not at peace. I still hurt deeply. I am bleeding inside. I suppose I never got that chance at closure in October 2007 so I'm blundering my way through it here openly on the blog.

     

    I hurt and I hate it. I hate the situation that I've been having to deal with on my own in the cold and darkness. People say "get over it" - but they don't understand how deep the wound is.

     

    Tonight it came to a head. The source of that pain went to my profile. Her doing this made me feel like I have no place that's safe from her. I don't want to see her, be near her or be reminded of her. I had deliberately been keeping a low profile to avoid her.

     

    I can't speak for the future. But I can say what I feel right now, I don't feel like I can be a part of shys. The pain is too much. I need to move on in a way that works for me. Being free of the reminder of someone who hurt me will renew my healing.

     

     

     

    Stephanie Sandlin

    stephaniemsandlin@gmail.com

     

     

    PS. I am leaving the blog up this time. It was a staple of reading for many. I want to make my journey known to future members. What I went through, what I felt. My growth, my joy, my pain. I think leaving the blog up can be of some service in that way.

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