So this is my story about my weight loss journey.
The heaviest that I've been was 285lbs. For me, that's too much weight on my body.I have a very interesting shape body, but I know that I'm supposed to be at least 165 maybe a 155 at the most. I'll just be happy to see the number 1 as the first number in my weight. No shame in my game, baby!
Currently I am 30 pounds lighter than the previous mentioned weight. That means I'm on track. It's been a fight. It's been a long fight, and I've been off-and-on dieting and exercising. I know that I should be better; however, you know, life happens.
This is what I have been doing: I have been not listening to people, and I have been researching, reading, and educating myself on weight loss. I only listen to my doctor who has done my blood work and knows the inside of my body, and my therapist who works with my mind; however you need to know the mind is more powerful than the rest of your body.
Because it is at the top of your body, it has the most control. The mind is the most difficult organ in the body to control, so you have to really gage yourself and train your mind to undo all of the preconceived notions of what weight loss looks like and understand that weight loss is different for everybody and that no one method works for the same two people. I've decided to stop listening to people, and listen to my own body. I'm not going to tell you what I eat because again this is my body and my body functions differently with certain foods.
Why don't I listen to people?
Well, the truth of the matter is that a lot of people have the "because it works for me, it will work for you," way of thinking. They do this unknowingly. Sure, there are people who can suggest nice ways to exercise or advise you through how they learned through their past mistakes, and that is ok; however, I can listen and continue to do what I'm doing without change. The reason why I kept getting off and on my journey was because I listened to people too much. That is annoying. I'd post a blog, like I'm doing now, someone would suggest something and then I would take it into consideration. After trying it and figuring out that it didn't work for me, I'd stop and feel like I failed myself. Never again. Another reason why I don't listen to people anymore is that there are many who are malicious. They thrive on others' failures. Nothing irks my nerve than someone who has never had a weight problem, and they try to give me advice on weight loss. Then, when they see that what they've suggested didn't work for me, they make me feel like the problem was with me. I'll never be fooled like that again.
That's great that the person is in top shape, but again, I don't listen to people because people do not know my body like I know my body. I'd rather rely on myself than advice from non medical health professionals.
What people don't realize is that weight loss is not only a body thing; it's also a mind thing.
If your mind is not in the game, then you're going to lose the game.
This is where meditation comes in handy.
I practice yoga and I'm getting better and better. I meditate on how great I've done and then I continue to do so. With meditation, there are all kinds of energy that swirl around. If I allow negative energy to enter, such as the unsolicited advice of people who feel compelled to tell me how to exercise without knowing my strengths and weaknesses and then I end up not doing well, I would be in poor shape. Instead, if I allow positive energy such as my small victories, the fact that I did enough exercise to make a difference, that I changed up a routine, that I walked somewhere, or any other victories, I gain more power and more focus.
If you don't like what people say to you, then why not ignore it? Stop being so sensitive.
Again, this question gets thrown at me a lot. If you're thinking this question right now and you're about to tell this to me. Imagine my fist slamming into your face while I'm smiling. Remember that part where I said I ignore people? This technically is called ignoring. I only bring up the fact that in the past, sometimes now, I've allowed people to dictate how I'll lose weight instead of listening to myself. Honestly, unless I sent for you, don't come at me because you'll get something back and it won't be nice. In my opinion—notice I say in my opinion and not a blanketed statement—people are malicious and don't know it. It is in human nature. Whether the person doesn't think it is malicious or not, many people thrive on seeing others fail. I don't trust anyone. It's how I've come to see people in life. No matter how many times the person says I can trust them, I will not trust them unless there is evidence without a doubt that person won't betray my trust. Can't help it, I've been wired that way.
Why announce it on blogs where people can comment, then?
There is this thing in my head that I know there is someone out there reading this that might be going through something similar and they flat out feel like giving up. I'm here to tell them that life's a bitch. It is a fucking bitch and no one will be able to help them like they can help themselves. No one. I can't depend on anyone but myself to help me the way I need to be helped. Accountability partners? Nope. Buddy system? Nope. Every time I've tried, it's all failed. I don't need someone else to tell me when I should exercise because it will only work for a few days, and then it fails. It always does for me. What I've decided is to consider the fact that I am my own accountability partner. I'm the one who is my own buddy. I tell myself to exercise because no one else will. I am independent and self sufficient. I can do this on my own. Sure, I can allow someone to work out with me, but only treat it as a temporary thing. One day that person will leave, but you will still continue on.
Another reason why I blog; it's my fucking blog. That's it. I also know that there are people watching me and they're trying to see if I'll succeed or not. Remember when I said people are malicious? Yep, this is where the malice begins. People observe and see if the person might mess up. We all do it, believe it or not. If that person succeeds, we find it amazing and cheer them on. If that person falls down at any point, we expect it and then either give up on them and look for the next person. You do have those times where some might cheer them on, do nothing, or just wait it out to see if that person will get back up and keep fighting.
I never said I was perfect. I never said that I don't make mistakes. I never said that I'll reach a goal so fancy that not even the gods themselves can touch me. I am blogging so that I can see a personal account of not only my weight loss, but how I grew stronger mentally and spiritually. If you pay attention, great. If you don't, great. If you cheer me on, cool. If you hurl insults, get ready. I might surprise you. I am not looking for extra likes. I'm merely typing what my mind is thinking right now. I felt compelled to write about this because I know there is someone out there who feels like they can't make it.
You can. Never give up. Keep trying because as long as your heart is beating, you'll be fine. You're not dead yet.
It sucks ass and you're going to hate stuff for the first part of your journey. No one tells you the part about weight loss where there comes a time where you hate everything and everybody at once. No health book or life goals book (as I call them) will tell you the deep dirty truth about starting your weight loss journey because no one would buy the book if it started off all negative. At first you're going to fucking hate it. You're going to realize that you may have to stop eating certain things for a while. It sucks horribly; however, you do find ways to get around it. That's the part where you have to do the footwork. A weight loss journey should be personalized. It shouldn't have to depend on what others say. Take the medical advice with a grain of salt, but if you can, get a therapist. There is where the weight loss journey can be more manageable. Your therapist can cheer you on in the way you want them to. I love mine and the advice she gives me is so mind altering. It's useful and it makes sense. She's real.
Again, what may work for me may not work for you. That's cool. Just follow what you think is right. You're not an idiot. You know your own body like no one else.