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Ruminations About Love

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GypsyButterfly

This is the theme to one of my favorite films (of the same name). Starring Richard Dreyfuss & Marsha Mason. The lyrics express how I feel.

 

 

 

 

All your life you've waited

For love to come and stay

And now that I have found you

You must not slip away

 

I know it's hard believing

The words you've heard before

But darlin', you must trust them

Just once more

 

'Cause, baby, goodbye doesn't mean forever

Let me tell you, goodbye doesn't mean

We'll never be together again

 

If you wake up and I'm not there

I won't be long away

'Cause the things you do my goodbye girl

Will bring me back to you

 

I know that you've been taken

Afraid to hurt again

You fight the love you feel for me

Instead of givin' in

 

But I can wait forever

For helpin' you to see

That I was meant for you

And you for me

 

So remember, goodbye doesn't mean forever

Let me tell you, goodbye doesn't mean

We'll never be together again

 

Though we may be so far apart

You still will have my heart

So forget your past my goodbye girl

'Cause now you're home at last

GypsyButterfly

If I don't phone, text or email you, please know you're still in my mind & heart. Which is why I can't contact you. It would hurt too much. It might lessen in time, but, I don't know if it will ever completely go away. If you reach out to me (which I hope that you will), I may not answer or get back with you. Believe me, I want to, more than anything. I'm keeping all of the messages. Even if they seem to be deleted, I saved them elsewhere. Right now, I don't have my phone on much & I'm not checking my email. The phone would probably be the best place,though, when you want to get a hold of me.

GypsyButterfly

I was talking about this with my husband the other day. Real love takes time, effort, care, attention, but, shouldn't be a constant struggle. Nor should it be too easy. If it's the latter, there's the risk of becoming complacent & taking it for granted. Real love is something you fight for & never give up on.

 

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GypsyButterfly

I would say the friendship, but, I think that was just an illusion like everything else. I don't understand why everyone else is allowed to be themselves & it's not acceptable for me to be? When I'm pretty certain there are similarities between me & other people & in some ways, I might be a step (or more) above? How is this fair? As self assured as I am, my confidence has taken a major hit.

 

Do they ever think of me? If they do, is it at all positive? I offered friendship & love from a deep & pure place. I only wanted the best for them. I can't reach out to them. I ache too much & I don't want to be rebuffed.

 

I thought we'd always be in each other's lives. I haven't cared about or had someone be this important to me in a long time. At this point, I don't believe I could reach out to them, no matter how much time has passed. A part of me will always hurt. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust again.

GypsyButterfly

https://youtu.be/4aB9tqDOMcM

 

 

Baby, baby, baby

What's it gonna be

Baby, baby, baby

Is it him or is it me?

Don't make me waste my time

Don't make me lose my mind baby

 

Baby, baby, baby

Can't you stay with me tonight

Oh baby, baby, baby

Don't my kisses please you right

You were so hard to find

The beautiful ones, they hurt you every time

 

Paint a perfect picture

Bring to life a vision in one's mind

The beautiful ones

Always smash the picture

Always every time

 

If I told you baby

That I was in love with you

Oh baby, baby, baby

If we got married

Would that be cool?

 

You make me so confused

The beautiful ones

You always seem to lose

 

Baby, baby,

Baby, baby,

Baby, baby,

Baby,

What's it gonna be baby?

 

Do you want him?

Or do you want me?

Cause I want you

Said I want you

Tell me, babe

Do you want me?

I gotta know, I gotta know

Do you want me?

Baby, baby, baby

Listen to me

I may not know where I'm going (babe)

I said I may not know what I need

One thing, one thing's for certain baby

I know what I want, yeah

And if it please you baby

Please you, baby

I'm begging down on my knees

I want you

Yes I do

Baby, baby, baby, baby

I want you

 

Yes I do

GypsyButterfly

There are certain songs that are guaranteed to make me cry. I usually only listen to them when I'm hurting. I don't want to play them when I'm feeling up. They probably wouldn't depress me, but, why risk it? They're more effective when I'm in a dark mood. There's a sort of catharsis with that. I need to have those songs to break through the wall of pain. To get to the other side, where I'm standing stronger & can move forward. I don't know if I'll share any of those songs, as, they're personal & it's part of a process.

GypsyButterfly

This song was referenced in the previous post. My husband & I were watching, Rushmore (starring Bill Murray & Jason Schwartzman) the other evening. This song was on the soundtrack. It originally came out in 1964. I had first heard it, probably, 25 years ago. This time, when I heard it, I knew it was meant for her. I was going to tell her directly, but, life & love decided to take a different turn, per usual. I will share it with all of you lovelies instead.

 

 

You to me

Are sweet as roses in the morning

And you to me

Are soft as summer rain at dawn, in love we share

That something rare

 

The sidewalks in the street

The concrete and the clay beneath my feet

Begins to crumble

But love will never die

Because we'll see the mountains tumble

Before we say goodbye

 

My love and I will be

In love eternally

That's the way

Mmm, that's the way it's meant to be

 

All around

I see the purple shades of evening

And on the ground

The shadows fall and once again you're in my arms

So tenderly

 

The sidewalks in the street

The concrete and the clay beneath my feet

Begins to crumble

But love will never die

Because we'll see the mountains tumble

Before we say goodbye

 

My love and I will be

In love eternally

That's the way

Mmm, that's the way it's meant to be

 

The sidewalks in the street

The concrete and the clay beneath my feet

Begins to crumble

But love will never die

Because we'll see the mountains tumble

Before we say goodbye

 

My love and I will be

In love eternally

That's the way

Mmm, that's the way it's meant to be

 

And that's the way

That's the way it's meant to be

 

That's the way

 

Whoa, that's the way

That's the way it's meant to be

GypsyButterfly

This isn't something I've really discussed with other people. I'm sure everyone is different when it comes to songs & the people in their lives. I know, often, couples will have, what they consider, their song. I also have ones that, when I hear them, remind me of certain people. Interestingly, a few of those I attached to people I wasn't in love. I suppose, at the time anyway, they had held a sort of significance in my life.

 

My husband & my song is, All I Ask of You from Phantom of the Opera. Going on, 19 years together & that song still touches me. I'll even get teary over it sometimes. We did get to see the musical when it had it's long run in San Francisco.

 

There's a song that I've been familiar with for many years. It was part of the soundtrack of a movie we watched the other day. When I heard it, I knew it was meant for a special someone. I will give it it's own post. It's called, The Concrete and the Clay.

GypsyButterfly

My husband & I were grocery shopping today & that was the song that came on, I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz. Music has always been very important to me, ever since I was a kid. It can lift my spirits or evoke emotions. Those are the main things it causes within me. There are times when, I consider certain songs a sign. They help clarify something, give hope, show the direction I should go in, etc. Hearing this made me think of a certain person. It could apply to others, I suppose, but, there was only one who came to mind as I listened to it.

 

 

 

 

 

When I look into your eyes

It's like watching the night skies

Or a beautiful sunrise

There's so much they hold

And just like them old stars

I see that you've come so far

To be right where you are

How old is your soul?

 

I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up

 

And when you're needing your space, to do some navigating

I'll be here patiently waiting, to see what you find

 

'Cause even the stars they burn

Some even fall to the earth

We've got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

No, I won't give up

 

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily

I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use

The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake

 

And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend

For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn

We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in

I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not and who I am

 

I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up, still looking up

 

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)

God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)

We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)

God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

 

I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up

GypsyButterfly

Just as with other things I've learned about myself here, I've become aware that I'm both pan & demi. Pan because I can be interested in someone regardless of orientation or gender identity. Demi because I'm not really interested in someone sexually unless there's an emotional connection. Even more importantly for me, an intellectual one. I've found, that, actively searching for a relationship doesn't work for me. I need to be on a site, like Shy, where friendship builds & it develops into affection & romance. It just happens naturally & spontaneously.

GypsyButterfly

This will be my perceptions & feelings regarding friendship, affection, romance, passion. Primarily about women, but, will also mention guy's at times, since, I am married. It's all the highs & lows that I've experienced. Most of it is more just emotions I've dealt with, as, I've only had a few relationships with women & they were all brief. I just wanted a place to share elation, sorrow & everything in between. It will include romantic quotes & some songs which evoke emotions.

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