The Pain of Being Bi
When I came home I was feeling really emotional because it is not often I go out to meet strangers for coffee. Today I met three wonderful people. In fact, over time I have met several wonderful women in the lgbt domain.. What has upset me today, and every time it happens, is when I get to share my story.
You know, the funny thing is it amazes me that the lesbian women I have met, more so the lesbian couples, are really loud about their sexuality and topics around intercourse while sitting in cafes or restaurants? I always find this quirky, but that’s my issue, anyway back to my story.
So these ladies who are introducing themselves will say all kinds of things, and how they ‘discovered’ women and never looked back. Yep. I get it. And am totally supportive of them. The group was formed to be a supportive group for all women within the spectrum, the only criteria is that they are women who like women (however that may be).
I am not forthcoming with my story because the same things happens each time. So instead, people will ask me questions, direct questions, about me liking women and then I have to explain. It is here that I see the recoil in their body language and face. Just the simple words ‘I am bi’ makes many cringe. And then I have to go into the bigger explanation about how I love my husband who is a great husband, yes he knows, yes he is supportive, no we don’t share women, no I am not looking for a woman, yes I have been with women, yes I know my sexuality, yes I am comfortable with my sexuality as is my husband… and on it goes. It makes me really sad that I can’t be accepted, fully, without all the extra explanation that goes into it.
It hurts. It really hurts to have people screw up their face at those first few words. Yet once they get to know me, they are fine with me.
I would love to live in a world where acceptance for who you are comes before all else.