I had my first dream with a woman last night...
Even in dreamland things can't go my way! At first everything was going perfectly... The two of us were on a bed, face to face with me straddling one of her thighs. We were touching and kissing, and all of a sudden she just gets up and leaves me there!
What the heck is that?!
There hasn't been much happening over here. I have been chatting every now and then and browsing apps like Her and Tinder. I matched with a couple of woman, but I still haven't clicked with any of them. It seems like most people are either looking for just friendship or just sex. I'm open to making new friends, but I am not interesting in a purely sexual relationship with anyone.
Hubby and I also talked a little, and he still wants to be involved. Maybe she would be our friend with benefits... Or maybe she would be a girlfriend. I really don't know yet. He has also mentioned twice that he has a friend who is bi. I met her once, but I don't know... I guess we would have to all meet up and see how it goes.
I don't have a problem with him being involved, but I don't think I am going to find someone who is interested in both of us. We'll see. I guess he doesn't have a problem with it being just me and her at first. We'll have to talk more so I can fully understand how he's feeling. I just don't know if I should do it now or wait to see if I can even if I can even find someone.
I have been lurking around on r/r4r and similar subreddits, but I still haven't found anyone that I click with. Maybe I'm just too picky or expecting too much... I don't really know. I thought that Reddit was a good idea because you can remain anonymous, and it would give me the chance to figure things out a little more, but maybe it would be better to look for someone around my area.
I have tried a few apps such as Tinder, Her and Moovz and have matched with a a couple of women that I wanted to get to know more, but they ghosted. I was told that there are clubs in my city too, but I'm not sure if that's my thing or not. I wouldn't even know what to wear! It has been years since I have gone out. Sometimes I think it would be easier, though. I am always afraid that if I click with someone online and we decide to meet up that they won't like me in person. Although, I have met a few people from Badoo in person, and it went pretty well, but I wasn't looking for anything more than friendship.
Well, I think I just need to learn how to go with the flow and not worry so much. Maybe someone will pop up when I'm least expecting it.
When I first starting questioning, I was anxious all of time time. I felt like I had to figure everything out that very moment. Slowly but surely things are getting better, and the anxiety is starting to disappear.
Now I just feel like chatting and finding someone I have a connection with. I'm kind of picky, so I don't know if that will ever happen. We'll see! Hubby and I are also reading "The Ethical Slut", and I think it's already going well. We had an amazing conversation after doing one of the exercises from the book.