I started dating after five years of not having, not a single solitary date. I have a hard time approaching a woman. You never know if she's into women or not. Well, my current Girlfriend, (she's not really) found me. she was hired at my job. I know. I know. I have the same rule about not dating a co-worker. Well she pursued me.. She figured out my Kryptonite...she asked me out for a beer. I said, "Yes" what could it hurt?
Well, let me explain something to you, I haven't been out on a date in 5 years, we are drinking 13% alcohol content beer, She is 26, redhead, (red hair is my other Kryptonite BTW. Maybe it has something to do with my huge crush on Kate Kane, Batwoman)., she has slate grey eyes, pouty soft lips and perfect breast. I could go on...but you get the picture.
Well, instant attraction on my part. And she's fun and adventurous. Down right perfect....but, there's a catch. Yep, there's always a catch. We dated for about two months. Texting here and there, calling occasionally and going out. I even invited her over to my house. That's something I never do. We even....yeah, we did that.
Fast forward to one week ago, She gets a phone call from her "BFF" or former "BFF" and she says her friend needs her. She drops everything, arranges for someone to work for her, buys a plane ticket, and breaks our plans to bring in the New Year, and is gone...just like that. No hesitation. So, at this moment, my "girlfriend" is driving cross country from Seattle to North Carolina.
So that you get the whole picture. I can't get this girl to text/call me with any consistency. It's like a week to a week and a half where we have to plan to go to the damn movies or out to dinner because, she's so tired, or going home to visit parents and family, or doing whatever else.
So, last night,, as I lay in my bed with a bottle of merlot, with my dog and cat...it finally hit me. I wasn't her girlfriend, I was an option. Something to do. A way to pass the time until she could get to what or more like who she really wanted, her BFF. I am treating her, no I've made her a priority in my life but I'm not a priority in hers...I'm an option.
Before we started "dating" I told her that I was hard to trust anyone and I told her why. She text me about 10 min ago, I had just posted on fb, "When people show you who they are, believe them." Maya Angelou. She asked me, "Are you okay? I said, "I'm fine." I'm pretty sure she knows now, I've figured her out. And she's trying to hold on, string me a long. I'm a quick learner tho.