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Public Vs. Private

moonbynight

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I really like having this outlet. I like writing for an audience - it's better motivation to write than anything else.

I'm also concerned about privacy. I've been able to identify people I know in real life on large international online forums based on quirks, vague details, or just writing style, so I'm sure the same could happen with me. Many people who work with me would recognize the recent incidents I've posted about.

I'm not concerned for myself. If any legit users of this site know me and figure out who I am, more power to them. Even if someone were snooping on me specifically (eg. they saw the site up on my phone screen and went to dig up dirt), I don't really care.

I am, however, very concerned for the privacy of people I talk about. They are, perhaps, even more identifiable than I am, and it isn't fair to them to have their personal business or my analysis thereof be broadcast to the internet, even in a semi-private manner.

So I've made my original blog friends-only. Posts will be posted here for a period of time because I like attention, and then moved there. Send me a friends request if you want to read any entries involving other potentially identifiable people (in other words, probably anything interesting) - I'm willing to add any established member with a posting history that feels legit.


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The simple answer is no... but there are parts of the site hidden from non members. Only post in those areas if you are concerned. However, as anyone may join there's never any real guarantee of privacy.

Always remember that this is a public forum and it has to be that way. If the forum were entirely private then it would not be indexed by search engines. No one would be able to see ShyBi (other than the Index page) and of course there would therefore be few or no members! As a personal aside, I would not join a site where I could not see any of the content.

Sure the site could be structured better (it's easily done) and I and others have made numerous suggestions in the past.

Edited by Golightly63
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I too regret disclosing so much personal information that would make me more identifiable. I've often thought about going back and editing out anything too personal, but at this point, I'd have a whole lot of posts to sift through, besides, people know what they know now. 

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The only way my two ex gf's could identify themselves is if they or anyone else were stalking me on line. That being the case it serves them right. The idea of the site is to bring these feelings to the fore, identify with others, get and give advice and move on a much wiser and informed person. Anything to do with sex is often  personal, bing bi can bring confusion and fear but having others to talk to must surely be better, I know I feel better being here than not, if I feared identification of myself or others I have had relationships with I wouldn't post. I don't regret my posts but I think there is a way of going back and changing them if anyone is concerned. It's just words and people don't have to read or take notice if they don't want.

So if my two exes are reading "Hi, how u been sweethearts".....

 

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8 hours ago, Golightly63 said:

The simple answer is no... but there are parts of the site hidden from non members. Only post in those areas if you are concerned. However, as anyone may join there's never any real guarantee of privacy.

Always remember that this is a public forum and it has to be that way. If the forum were entirely private then it would not be indexed by search engines. No one would be able to see ShyBi (other than the Index page) and of course there would therefore be few or no members! As a personal aside, I would not join a site where I could not see any of the content.

Sure the site could be structured better (it's easily done) and I and others have made numerous suggestions in the past.

Um yeah, been a member here for 8 years, and active online for much longer than that. I understand how it works. 

This is a blog post, not a post on the general forums. Prior to the software upgrade, blogs had more security options - they could be open to the general public, open to members only, or only viewable to friends. Now the members only option is gone, so I'm simply trying to find a balance a desire for privacy with a desire for an audience.

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I agree, I'd like to see blogs be more of a personal space with personal options, separating them from the public forums. As you've said, that would be a good balance between private and public. I'm sure there's still work being done on the site behind the scenes, hopefully this is one of the issues that can be resolved in time

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Well, I probably will sound dumb.  But I still am learning alot here.  For instance, I realize now that everytime  I check anything out everyone knows.  Then I learned I could sign on anon.... and I did.  But nothing to hide here so I just sign on when I can several times to check things out like messages.  Some people I hear from, some never write again.  I know that is my fault since I am too shy.  But I really appreciate all of you for being patient with me.  Have a great and safe day.

Edited by Redbird2017
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That doesn't sound dumb @Redbird2017 it's just honest. I think a lot of us continue to learn here. 

And don't be shy that members can see when you "check anything out", I assume you mean visiting profile pages, etc? This site is about supporting and connecting with one another. Sometimes if a member sees that you've visited their page it will entice them to view yours. 

I'm shy too, but I don't want to hide anything here so I've learned to let that go and just be myself

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