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Sometimes You Have To Leave People In The Past And Move On

Lookingformyself2014

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So it has been awhile and I am making some changes...one thing I am changing is leaving the people behind who clearly see me as an option while I tend to make them a priority. I understand people get busy and have other things to do and yet if they want to make time for you, they would. One of the things that bugs me a little is that one of them is someone I came out to and for Awhile I was the only one texting and she would respond but usually only if I texted first and sometimes I wouldn't hear from her.... The last time I texted her, I mentioned that I hadn't been texting her cause I hadn't heard from her and I think now she is ignoring my texts and frankly I'm not too bummed. It was starting to feel like way too much effort on my end and not even as much from her...and so I felt it was time to move on...I am realizing that I need to worry about myself and not the ones who don't worry about me...the other one is a teacher I used to volunteer with and we were pretty close or so I thought- but maybe the thing was that I was over there volunteering with her and helping her kids almost constantly and even when I didn't want to....when I transferred, I stayed in touch as she is one of my references...but I noticed that it was extremely one sided and when I went awhile without texting her, she did the same. At an interview I had, one of the interviewers knew her and I texted her because I had missed talking to her and that just felt weird, even though she did reply to my text and then when I texted her to let her know I didn't get the job and she starts talking about how I need to find my dream job and it's like she didn't remember anything from when we were hanging around in her room and I was helping do stuff for her class and soon she came to expect me to come over there and so let's see...after she started telling me to find my dream job, it occurred to me that we weren't on the same wavelength and it's like I feel as though it's out of sight out of mind and I was feeling more stressed out after texting her and so I am going back to not texting her because all it felt like I was doing was defending myself and when I was getting ready to leave for my other school, she was all dramatic and saying how much she was going to miss me and yet with a lack of texting you wouldn't know it.

 

In the back of my mind I have realized that I am better off and less stressful focusing on myself and letting go of the ones who did the same with me and I do understand that people are busy and things do change, but if you are the only one who is doing the texting and making the effort as I was, it needs to change....


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