This emotion has been plaguing me for years off and on. For some reason, all of a sudden it's rearing it's ugly little dumb meanie head. I feel so lonely in a room full of people, at home with my family etc. I am not sure what to do about it, I know the reason I am lonely, I think I do anyway, the secrecy of who I really am, not being able to live my life as myself, the burden of being the saint in the family the one who holds everyone together, this role as made me very tired of trying to be perfect for everyone else, I am sick of it quite frankly. I am sure many reading this can relate, always putting other people's needs first, making decisions based on other people's feelings, the list goes on and on. The time is coming very near where I will reach my breaking point and hopefully it won't be to bad for the folks in my life, or it might?? LOL I am not sure yet. Normally a very level person, but everyone is human and have their own individual breaking point, I am close to reaching mine. So if you hear of an explosion of some sort of a mysterious kind in the world, it may just me reaching the point of my break LOL.
I am very thankful for this site and forum's like this one, being able to release some of what is inside me that I have not dared to breathe, its been an awakening of sorts for me. I for the longest time though, I was the only woman in the world who had feelings like these, I felt like I was going absolutely Cray Cray LOL... its so refreshing to know that I am not alone in how I feel and I am normal. Of course definition of normal can vary from person to person, but for the most part I am a normal woman who just happens to think other women are extraordinary in every way. That what I feel and have felt has been felt by many many women before me and many many more after me.
I am feeling better already as I type this, I think who ever said, writing down your feelings is therapeutic was a genius. I think that is all Ii have right now until next time I thank you for reading this rambling...