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Alcoholic in a Bar

amsterrock

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Most of the time, I feel secure, feet on the ground, like I have control over myself. No temptation within sight. All is good. 

But then I meet a woman. No one else sees her, sees how beautiful she is inside and out. But I see it. It's in her smile, the way she takes on life with such grace and fearlessness. Her ambition and courage to face the world. She is the most beautiful person I've ever seen. Just like that, I become an addict. I want to make her smile, give her all her dreams just to see her happy. I lose the ability to be rational. Her presence is intoxicating. 

The energy that I have to exert to keep her at arm's length is strenuous. I have to constantly remind myself of my commitment, and make sure my actions are only those of a friend. It would be selfish to pursue anything. It would hurt my partner and her. But still, the craving is too strong to walk away completely. 

When she's around, I feel like an alcoholic in a bar. 

 

 

*i don't know if this makes sense, and hopefully it does not offend anybody.

 


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i can relate to these feelings. I call it romantic psychosis - there's recovery from it, yet no cures. Even when no intimacy occurs, it's still beautiful seeing them well and happy, it's still wonderful to know they exist.

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On 9/2/2017 at 9:35 PM, southern star said:

i can relate to these feelings. I call it romantic psychosis - there's recovery from it, yet no cures. Even when no intimacy occurs, it's still beautiful seeing them well and happy, it's still wonderful to know they exist.

I like your term "romantic psychosis." I think it fits pretty well. It's hard though, fighting to stay in the friend zone. But as long as she's happy, that's all I want. 

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