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bicurious
Not much to tell, but

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rem000

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There hasn't been much happening over here. I have been chatting every now and then and browsing apps like Her and Tinder. I matched with a couple of woman, but I still haven't clicked with any of them. It seems like most people are either looking for just friendship or just sex. I'm open to making new friends, but I am not interesting in a purely sexual relationship with anyone.

Hubby and I also talked a little, and he still wants to be involved. Maybe she would be our friend with benefits... Or maybe she would be a girlfriend. I really don't know yet. He has also mentioned twice that he has a friend who is bi. I met her once, but I don't know... I guess we would have to all meet up and see how it goes.

I don't have a problem with him being involved, but I don't think I am going to find someone who is interested in both of us. We'll see. I guess he doesn't have a problem with it being just me and her at first. We'll have to talk more so I can fully understand how he's feeling. I just don't know if I should do it now or wait to see if I can even if I can even find someone.


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Sympathy: it's so damn hard! There is like a billion-dollar dating industry helping pairs of people find one another. Two people, one connection to make, one spark to find or whatever you want to call it. And even with all the dating sites and apps and what have you, loads of us remain single for years. Finding someone who both of you are into pretty equally and who is into both of you strongly too, is three times the job that those dating apps struggle with, cos it's three connections to get right. Him and her need to click. You and her need to. You and him need to find a way of being together that fits this new situation too. Maybe it's not just three times the job cos you have to get those three things all to happen at the same time! No wonder those of us who'd like that can struggle. Let alone later down the line if one of those three relationships starts to fray and what an impact that has on the other two.

On whether to talk to him now or when you meet someone... both? Cos you can have all the theory in advance you like, but when you meet that third person, they're a whole other person with their own emotional needs and expectations from a relationship, and what you and he have talked about might need a little bit of adjusting to fit.

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A friend seems like a better place to start than on dating sites. The two of them have already built up trust so she will probably be more confident of being an active participant in figuring out ground rules and such.

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