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The one that got away...



Soo around this time for the last few years, i think about how it was after halloween(we went to a halloween dance and afterwards sat around talking with some friends of his, one of which was bi and as they sat talking about different experiences, i realized it sounded like me- about a week later, something clicked and. I knew i wasn't straight) thought i was a lesbian, came out as a lesbian and confessed to my gay bestie about my crush on him that he already freaken knew about...a friend of his told him and i had a feeling he knew, but until i told him, i didn't find that part out. It was after this conversation that i spent a lot of time on the internet and realizing that every thing that had happened, made sense. 

I didn't realize until this point that thinking about someone before you go to sleep was the equivalent of a wet dream and that was what happened with my first girl crush...i don't know what it was, but i liked her when i first saw her.. I wanted her all to myself and hated when she wanted to have a friend of hers join us for lunch and to this day i never told her how i felt..i started to and tripped over myself so bad that she told me if i couldn't get it out, it was okay... I had thought about telling her, but it has been so long and i even stopped talking to her because i knew nothing was going to come of it and it has been years since we have really talked... 

I spent the night at her house and we shared her bed and even before i went to sleep, i thought about her...and how i would of loved to cuddle with her or something...that was rough...and the next time i was supposed to stay over, someone at her house was sick and it wasn't a good time..i was thrilled because i knew i was attracted to her and it was killing me being around her but not being able to say anything....

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8 hours ago, ChemFem said:

How did Halloween play into all this?

Oops lol...i guess i forgot to add that part lol...ill have to edit that today!! Thanks for pointing that out..

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