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what I want....

Lookingformyself2014

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I want to have a crush on someone again..i miss my toxic texting buddies who would leave me with butterflies and fantasies. I want to find someone who I connect with and who i can hang out with and who im close to and i also want someone to havw a crush on me. I would love to know that someone gets butterflies when i text them and that there heart races when they see me or when i text them. I also want someone that will tell me how they feel earlier then 3 years after the fact!!- that's what happened after 3 years with my clingy crush and looking back, I realize that his silence spoke volumes and told me everything he wasn't saying. I also started wondering the other day if he was gay...that one im curious about and yet not enough that i would unblock him and add him as a friend or text him again...but still i wonder....


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3 minutes ago, ChemFem said:

Also who don't wait three years as you said.

Very true...and after 3 years, he knew how i felt and never said a word...i mean there were signs he cared about me, but it wasn't at the same level as me...

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2 minutes ago, Lookingformyself2014 said:

Very true...and after 3 years, he knew how i felt and never said a word...i mean there were signs he cared about me, but it wasn't at the same level as me...

As in you told him?

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Just now, ChemFem said:

As in you told him?

I did...when he was switching jobs, i made him a card and inside the card i told him how i felt...he probably also knew because the day he left, i was an emotional mess and it was because he was leaving..plus after that, we wrote a story together and i added a part where we got married in the story and based on his reply since that was our way of communication, he was focused on the 2 characters waiting for god to find them a mate and i was all for them being together and i knew after that reply, that it wasnt just a story to him, but we were talking about the both of us...

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Just now, Lookingformyself2014 said:

I did...when he was switching jobs, i made him a card and inside the card i told him how i felt...he probably also knew because the day he left, i was an emotional mess and it was because he was leaving..plus after that, we wrote a story together and i added a part where we got married in the story and based on his reply since that was our way of communication, he was focused on the 2 characters waiting for god to find them a mate and i was all for them being together and i knew after that reply, that it wasnt just a story to him, but we were talking about the both of us...

I was the female in the story and he was the male

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29 minutes ago, Lookingformyself2014 said:

I did...when he was switching jobs, i made him a card and inside the card i told him how i felt...he probably also knew because the day he left, i was an emotional mess and it was because he was leaving..plus after that, we wrote a story together and i added a part where we got married in the story and based on his reply since that was our way of communication, he was focused on the 2 characters waiting for god to find them a mate and i was all for them being together and i knew after that reply, that it wasnt just a story to him, but we were talking about the both of us...

Interesting twist about waiting for God. Is he very religious?

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9 hours ago, ChemFem said:

Interesting twist about waiting for God. Is he very religious?

He is extremely religious...and I'm not...it threw me for a loop when he stuck that in there...and then shortly after, when we were finished with that story, he didn't want to start another one...

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5 hours ago, Lookingformyself2014 said:

He is extremely religious...and I'm not...it threw me for a loop when he stuck that in there...and then shortly after, when we were finished with that story, he didn't want to start another one...

Yeah that throws a wrench in there. The same woman I mentioned in the comments on your other post seems to be drawing a lot of emotional support from Christianity, so I'm very hesitant to mention my growing tendencies towards atheism to her.

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1 hour ago, ChemFem said:

Yeah that throws a wrench in there. The same woman I mentioned in the comments on your other post seems to be drawing a lot of emotional support from Christianity, so I'm very hesitant to mention my growing tendencies towards atheism to her.

I can understand that...im an athiest too although im.more spiritual and in the beginning when my boss realized we liked each other, she even brought it up as a problem...i think the problem you're having with her is the same i had with him...i knew there were differences when he would pray before he ate and i didn't...it was something i would of brought up if we would of hung out together or anything...

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36 minutes ago, Lookingformyself2014 said:

I can understand that...im an athiest too although im.more spiritual and in the beginning when my boss realized we liked each other, she even brought it up as a problem...i think the problem you're having with her is the same i had with him...i knew there were differences when he would pray before he ate and i didn't...it was something i would of brought up if we would of hung out together or anything...

I've been on the other side of it too, so I know it can cause real pain. When I was Christian and I was dating an atheist I had times when I bawled my eyes out thinking that my sweet love was going to Hell and we would be separated. It reminds me of the line in Young and Beautiful by Lana Del Rey "Dear God when I get to heaven please let me bring my (wo)man"

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