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on my mind



Soo there is a lot on my mind and currently right now I am working on becoming a substitute teacher and am half way through the class and have a lot of free time because of it.

It also is a lot of thinking time and the one thing i have been thinking about is how i am basically hiding from people because I'm not out and eventually want a relationship and it would be hard to bring anyone home or go anywhere seeing as i don't drive...i also don't know how well it would go over to bring someone home and i keep thinking im not ready...

I know i am bi and have for awhile and i am starting to know who i would want and not want to go out with. I also keep a lot to myself and even though i live with my mom, there are things i don't tell her such as my last girl crush and the whole trying to reconnect story. I keep things like that to myself and realize that i need to get it out and form a connection with people.. I started a blog on blogger but have gotten bad about even writing and i really need to... 

I also used to wear makeup and my rainbow pride necklace every day and when i got my last job in a special needs pre k class, i didn't wear any jewelry as i didn't want the kids pulling on it and that was a month ago. I love wearing makeup and just feeling pretty and i do notice a difference when i don't and i am realizing that i need to do small stuff for me and get back to blogging..

I would just come out to my family again, but right now is not the time. My mom is concerned about money as I'm not working and I'm not that close to my brother and sister in law. Plus with my brother and sister in law, they are majorally involved with the church and i don't want to hear about what they think and my mom has said before its my buisness if i tell them and it would be up to me and i just don't feel ready to open myself up for more stress until i am ready...

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1 hour ago, ChemFem said:

Other than kids pulling on your jewelry, would being out at work cause issues?

Not that im aware of. I had no issues at my other school where i was cafeteria monitor and wore it pretty much everyday. the only potential issue with me wearing it could be about it being professional or not...


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i hadn't thought of that like that before...i get a lot of comments from the kids that like my necklace and when i first started wearing it, one of the girls i worked with noticed and was staring at it, but she didn't say anything...


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22 minutes ago, ChemFem said:

I wasn't saying that to worry you or dissuade you from being out, just wanted to know your situation.

No worries...i was just telling you some things that have occurred when i have wore it...


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