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Friend is a Four Letter Word.

mystical1

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Friend is a Four Letter Word.

When you chance back to see she is moving on, perfectly fine without you...

Reading the notes she left saying how much she misses you...

Her Friend.

You blow it off, because what else could you have been?

So much more but she closed the door, preferring to spend time dancing with shadows, in love with the idea of love itself, and content to commit to her fantasy. 

Unable to compete with such a formidable foe as this, you let go of your own foolish notions that this exuberent shared feeling when in her presence could blossom into something more. 

So tucking your broken heart behind your pride, you left so she wouldn't be exposed to your ruined insides.

Then one day you decide to come back. To that one place you'd been avoiding for so long. Only to find she is still there, the same as ever, and as much as you thought you had, you'd only been lieing to yourself, because you haven't really moved on.

All those feelings of yesterday try to beat down your door. But to them you say, please stop, no, no more.

Because what's the point of letting any of that in...

...if it's only to be reunited with a "friend?"

And if you can't release that and let it go, coming back would just be for show, because your true heart she could never know, you'd have to hide it just for her dying from unexpressed emotions, and unable to move on stuck in a hell of your own making, wanting something that you can never have with someone who doesn't feel the same. 

Unrequited love is no game and nothing worth pursuing. And impossible to maintain any true friendhip where it forces the the green eyed monster of jealousy to reside in your heart. Hard to want the best for someone even though you care about them, when they cannot accept what is best for you. Whether that is to get as far away from them as possible, or to rush into their open and waiting arms...

...

Who can know what only time can tell, and the clock stopped the moment you locked your heart away.


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