I had another post to do in mind...I was going to do a deep and indepth one about my life at the moment...but that would take not only time, a luxury i can ill afford at the moment, but a well of emotional stamina, which I'm in the process of recovering due to so many life events. So..we'll keep things simple for now: On with the poetry!
Inspiration: A shy who will instantly recognize this. Without giving away too much, let's just say we have a scary amount in common and connect on a deep level. I hope I'm not offending her by posting my poetry that I wrote while inspiration struck while talking to her here, as there are no personal identifiers, or details that should point her way...
I don't usually write poetry -to- women I love...I mean, I have but...it's been a really very rare thing. Usually it's more reactionary, and just comes out in other places. The inspiration often never sees it. But...with her, I find myself inspired and writing more about, for, to...than I ever have anyone else. Why this is, I'm not entirely sure. She dotes on me for it, and I don't feel pressure to whip up a masterpiece each time which helps, but...it's more like, it's just flows...something about being in her company just makes me really want to write. Maybe if nothing else I've met my muse.
---These are untitled as they are copied from PMs and emails back and forth. ----
I could meet the lady love of my life in this very moment, and all I'd see would be a stranger there in her place...
I'm not sure I'd be able to feel enough to know her, or remark upon her face.
Though beautiful I'd find her spirit, and her nature full of grace,
My heart is a tarnished mirror, too dark and dreary to reflect a trace
of the purest of intention with which her heart would race.
I play the part of the damsel, but dream of the day I am the prince,
I want so badly to rescue her, when myself I fail to save.
I cleave to the fantasy, that she is waiting for me,
When it is I who dally here and cannot go hence,
Lingering, an awful thing, bidding time 'good riddance'
A dance we leave to chance, but maybe I tire of the game,
Too many lifetimes have I played on, for far too little gain.
If she be, the one for me, then 'tis hers the burden of proof to bear,
For I've worn this yoke, until I've choked all semblance of romance
To leave me bereft and bare.
Is there hope? A tender heart can cope,
subsisting on it's dreams.
A fine nourishment, to keep content,
until all alone you wake to find nothing as it seems.
So for a sign, I'll call her mine,
But not the wayward kind,
monumental, not incidental,
to make the heavens split, and let true love shine.
Forgive me, for my random fits of poetry...
I wrote that in the moment as it came to me.
I'm standing on a cliff, looking over,
daring to take first one step, then another, ever closer
wanting to just step off and fall
but having to believe there will be something there after all.
I feel you standing next to me,
But it's not you I can see,
Too busy staring down into that gaping maw,
Fear of too many possibilities on my tender bits gnaw,
The monster of foreboding holding me at bay,
Even as the sweet lilt of fantasy makes me sway,
-I am so tired of feeling this way-
"She's just not out there!" I want to say.
Screaming "you're dreaming"
"This is not something that could ever be!"
Will not ever, now or never set me free.
I don't know where 'she' is...
But I do know you're here.
I know that with you I shouldn't fear.
But as far as I can go is to take your hand,
Somehow if not now I will make you understand,
Be careful with your heart, what you wish may be true...
But that may not be enough to bring me closer to you.
Love is wondrous an emotion,
But without devotion,
The trivialities of life can take it down.
So easy to fall, but not to land,
Is it worth the risk?
Always before I'd say 'yes'
But now I'm not sure I can handle this.
So divided I stand,
Together we would fall,
If but for one more step I can,
Should I give in to what my heart demands?
When even my mind doesn't say 'no' or 'run'
as by now it should have done.
Or is it just off it's game,
sluggish drugged muddled insane,
poisoned by the possibility
that you might be the one for me...
I just hope this isn't some dream-like state, that when we wake,
we find we've only been deceiving ourselves...
Only to have to once against put our hearts back upon the shelf,
No matter how strong, intense, or real these emotions may be,
would they fade upon meeting, or lead to greater chemistry?
- And this today in the poetry game thread here: http://www.shybi.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=21763&st=920#entry1353697
They say love comes unexpectedly,
But sometimes the print at the bottom attached,
is far too fine to see,
Happily ever after is the fairy tale,
And it's not long before the fantasy waxed,
Waned as reality intrudes breaking the spell.
It's as true for you as it is for me,
The first blush of love fades inevitably,
In that span we must decide,
Let our heart, mind and soul play guide,
Even if this falls short of the dream,
Is it worth having by any means?
And for that perfect person: What do you do when you meet,
But the situation is all wrong?
How can you reconcile what you so desperately want and need,
The manifestation of what you've been aching for, for so long?
What is cannot remain, things must change once again,
I can't stand idly by, forever much to my continuing shame,
I love you too much to stay forever in that vein,
In the limbo of 'more than friends less than lovers' only brings me pain.
I feel as though I'm caged behind bars of propriety,
Unable to act on my simplest impulse for intimacy,
Because you are there with him, and not here with me.
But I can't make you choose don't you see?
I'm stuck in such an unfair quandary.
Can't force your hand, but for how long should I wait?
Tempted mightily by you, but must leave things to fate,
Even though it is most assured you are my soulmate,
It doesn't mean we are guaranteed each other,
because it may already be too late.
I don't want to give up on us like I am this rhyme,
Prove to me otherwise,
Give me a sign I'm not just wasting time,
and that I should keep hope alive.