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  2. Androgynygrl

    How do I label myself?

    @bikiwi you didn't give bad advice no need for apologies . You are entitled to an opinion . Silly Rabbit, Sorry's are for Canadians LOL
  3. browneyedgirl146

    How do I label myself?

    Sorry, I didnt mean to make anyone feel bad. I really do appreciate all the help I can get. I know I have a husband and kids but I'm really in a bad place and the only way I can help myself is to keep posting and getting ideas that resonate with me.
  4. Today
  5. bikiwi

    How do I label myself?

    @MidnightBabe @Androgynygrl @Rani even help .. I mucked up advice here, you girls give good advice! I've seen you... all the best, op, I'm bowing out. experienced bi ladies may help
  6. browneyedgirl146

    How do I label myself?

    Well, I'm sorry I keep posting. I truly and honestly wish i didnt have to be here in this state and wish my life wasn't like this but here I am. In my case, I have seen many therapists and only now have I made this revelation in the past few months. I just dont have an outlet at the moment. I cant afford anymore therapy and I'm on a waiting list to see one for free. I just had a baby along with 2 other kids and the days just fly taking care of my family. I have so many emotions and I understand that people don't need labels to understand feelings but I'm getting to the point where I will need outside support and need to tell my family/friends/husband how I feel. I'm just looking for the easiest way to tell them rather than explaining the details of my sexuality.
  7. @Androgynygrl your anger and frustration are justified. I only moved to us because of love only few years ago. In many ways it is a beautiful country with a lot of wonderful people. At the same time it is a country full of contradictions and there are things I find very disturbing including the things you described about the military. Too much blind veneration and callous use of the army coupled with little meaningful care! For example there are so many "We support our troops" signs and calls to collect used clothes for the vets... In the richest country in the history of the world stuff like this seems almost like an insult. I often get the feeling a lot of it is just virtue signaling and about making people feel good about themselves than really helping the vets!
  8. YellowHeart18

    Boobs Or Ass? If You Had To Choose 1.

    @Androgynygrl me too
  9. One of my regrets is not kissing a woman when I was 19. I always wonder about that moment, what it would have been like if I just went through with it when she came on to me.
  10. geewhiz31919

    What are you listening right now

    Listening to Tracy Chapman, almost daily!
  11. geewhiz31919

    Four Words Only Here

    Where did you go?
  12. Theo Donnelley

    Boobs Or Ass? If You Had To Choose 1.

    Boobs hands down
  13. Theo Donnelley

    What is your biggest fantasy with a woman?

    Mine is pretty simple. To be able to push a woman against the wall, passionately kiss her...gently squeeze her boobs and kiss the top of them working my way down until I reach her hard nipples. I'd gently suck on those for a little watching her squirm. Then move my way down kissing her stomach...aching for what's about to come. Pull her pants down along with her panties. Dive my head between her legs, kissing her inner thighs until I reach to her folds. I'd slightly part them to get my first taste that I want so badly. Then I'd devour her and make her come over and over, me being pleasured simply by watching her reaction. I so wish this was a reality. Anyone want to volunteer?! Lol
  14. MimiCaro

    Introduce yourself

    I have those too.
  15. BellaMynx

    Introduce yourself

    Ooooooh! Thank you for showing me this site! I see Dragon scales! I'm interested now!
  16. MimiCaro

    Introduce yourself

    The best place to go is The Ring Lord. They have the best prices for rings. I order from them for my rings. Chainmaille fun times.
  17. So sorry to hear your sad news, @Woolygirl. It's a tough time to grieve this loss while you just started this dialogue with your hubby. A few of us agree this is not the time to make big decisions. Let yourself heal and process all this. And I really agree with @waking_nymph that guys really need to feel needed! Your speaking of your sexual curiosity could be perceived as rejection, of your not needing him. Be very careful here, his ego may br fragile.
  18. CallistoDidNotWin

    The Depth of Our Erotic Power

    Yes, exactly. But an interesting question would be this (and I am not sure of the answer; I am thinking out loud): Had we internalized definitions imposed upon us by a still largely patriarchal society, i.e., was this a case of us being brainwashed/oppressed by men that we should be subdued and demure and more "ladylike," and thus we felt uncomfortable or at least "peculiar," when we roamed a porn video store? Or, was this the result of a certain set of women in society, perhaps coming from a certain perspective such as a religious/conservative perspective, imposing this view and this brainwashing upon us. In other words, have women been a primary force in oppressing/suppressing women? I do sometimes wonder if my lingering resentment against patriarchy should have added to it a resentment against women being just as oppressive, stigmatizing....trying to box me into the June Cleaver model as the only proper model to follow? Again, I am just thinking out loud. I am still just in the earliest stages of my personal "awakening" and I wrote the essay above as my declaration of this personal awakening. But I think I have a very great deal yet to figure out. Which is of course why I placed this essay here at ShyBi, to hear the thoughts/experiences of others in response to what I wrote. I hope so too. But I also worry. I worry that young women, while having a more liberated sexual experience in their youth than I did -- if for no other reason than they don't have to go to Porn Movie rental stores anymore, since now every form of porn under the sun is just a couple mouse clicks away in comfortable privacy, so this issue about feeling like the "odd one" is now for them a complete non-issue -- I worry maybe that is exactly the problem. Are young women being liberated to explore their sexuality, their true depths of erotic feeling and erotic power, or are they being indoctrinated again, this time in the reverse direction, that is are they being taught/learning to mimic the male experience/view of sex? With all this far too easily accessible porn (99.99% of it made, produced, developed by and for men, even the lesbian porn being made by and for men), are younger women internalizing that "race to the finish line" variety of sex, that crass aim-straight-for-the-pussy/penis-and-nevermind-the-rest kind of sex? Instead of being empowered to raise up their full sensuality and eroticism as women, are they instead simply learning to march in lock step with the sex-obsessed man and what he likes/prefers? That, to me, is really no better. I mean, seriously, who wants to see young girls behaving exactly like rudely annoying horny teenage boys? That is not what I had in mind as my "dream." But alas, sometimes that seems to be what I am seeing, young women being "sexually liberated" only in the sense that they are now mimicking the bad behaviour of bad boys. I do wish more women would be involved in making, producing, creating porn. A very different kind of porn. Of women, by women, for women. To counterbalance all the massive amounts of porn that is by men, for men. For my part, I have the aim of writing an erotic novel and taking a stab in written form of what I would envision that different kind of porn being. Of course in the book world, it is not called "porn," it is called "romance novels." So that housewives can walk up to the cash register and be purchasing a "romance," so they can feel comfortable and not feel like anybody is staring at them. Even though she knows, I know, the cash register clerk knows, everybody knows, it is pornography. Maybe some things really have not yet changed too much, I guess.
  19. Hey @Storm9 I completely understand where you're coming from. I've been up and down wishing I could just switch it all off or turn back the clock, but it's useless. Like you said, we're all on a journey of our own, so I can only comment based on what I've experienced and where I am now. What you have with her might be a perfect scenario for many married women who are wanting to explore their sexuality. I know I was one of them. If you're both happy in your marriages, or at least not wanting to split up, then having a secondary relationship with someone who understands and respects your situation, might seem ideal. But, as you've discovered, you're monogamous, and it simply doesn't work. I understand, and I've been there myself! But cheating on my husband was awful. It went against everything I believed in and caused problems in my relationship with her, from both sides, because we couldn't be together the way we wanted. The fear of getting caught, the guilt when we saw our husbands and children, the detachment we felt in our marriages. It was all one big mess of emotions.....but I don't regret a second of it. It all had to happen to lead to this point. Now my marriage is ending, and it felt really bad for a long time. It still has it's moments, but it's finally feeling good, for both of us. Maybe it's not meant to fit into your married life. I know it doesn't fit into mine. I want to give my all to one person, and it would be so easy to continue in my marriage. I just don't think I can be happy, or fully committed to him, so I've had to make a choice and give us both a chance to move on. Fortunately I was able to make that decision while my mind was clear, and not clouded with love or infatuation for someone else. That honeymoon phase wears off, so making any decisions when you're in it is a bad idea. It just needed to be me and him, sitting together and picking our relationship apart to see how it led to this point. I don't know what your situation with your husband is, but if he's unaware of your sexuality and relationship, then I would guess that a lot of your emotions are fuelled by what you're keeping from him. To be honest, even if he knows, if you're as unhappy with him as you say, then you're likely to feel equally guilty under both circumstances. You ask how it's supposed to fit into your married life, well maybe it isn't, and you need to make some tough decisions now, about your future. It's not easy to leave a marriage, and as right as it feels, I'm scared. I imagine you both are too. You spend your whole life building what you have, so you can't build a new one overnight, and if there are children involved, it will take even longer, so you have to be patient. Hopefully the two of you can find a way to make it work around your marriages, but I know how hard that is to do. I wouldn't want to drag anyone else into my mess, and I wouldn't expect someone to wait for me, so the single life suits me just fine for now. More importantly, it gives me a chance to find myself again and really decide what I want from a partner and relationship, and it seems like you need to do the same. I'm not saying you should be single. Far from it. This is just my journey. I truly believe you can work this out with the support of a loving partner. If this woman wants to be with you and is making efforts to do so, and if you love her with all your heart and want to be with her, then it will be worth the wait. But if you've lost yourself, the only person that can find you again, is you. You should never rely on anyone else to make you happy. Sometimes we pin all our hopes on someone else, and it's simply not fair on yourself, or them. It just adds unnecessary pressure. Maybe some of what you're feeling right now centres on your marriage and maybe you need to look at that and make a decision on what's best for yourself, not her. None of your decisions should be based on her and her choices. They're yours and yours alone. She is there to enhance your life and hopefully build a new one together should circumstances allow. If you're feeling anger, that's not good. We should never feel that way. Loving and trusting someone, means you have to be vulnerable, and you need to trust her with this if you want it to work. It's how connections happen and it's what brings you closer. Sometimes we feel like we're not worthy of someones love and we look for reasons to believe our insecurities are true, which leads to arguments. You certainly shouldn't be more comfortable feeling anger rather than showing your true feelings, so try and figure out why that's the case. There is nothing wrong with being vulnerable, but anger and arguing doesn't solve anything. As for staying hidden.....is that because you're both married? Or is it something that will always be the case even if you're together exclusively? Do you think your relationship is harmful to you? Is it really entirely on her whether you continue? Or are you afraid of taking control and making the wrong decision? Should a relationship really be this hard? Sorry, lots of questions, but it seems like you have a lot to think about and some serious decisions to make for your future, and your happiness. It will probably be the hardest decision you ever make, so take your time and I promise you'll get there.
  20. Good evening ladies.. What was your first physical encounter like. Who made the first pass? Please share all the little details..
  21. xxshy-bixx

    Hey

    Welcome @Theo Donnelley
  22. No, because I dont think I can be intimate with another woman unless we are in a relationship or have some type of bond. A man though is a different story. I would expect he wouldn't need to be payed but if he's hot; I'll be tempted to.
  23. Yesterday
  24. This is up there on fantasy list
  25. I should have mentioned that the second part was not the same guy. He's a native English speaker. I'll make sure to edit. That probably was confusing. I see what you're saying, though.
  26. Trixlist

    Are You Ok With Being Single?

    @Tallish goes without saying. If that someone doesn't make you happy, then of course, it's probably best to be single.
  27. Tallish

    Are You Ok With Being Single?

    If that someone makes you happy
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