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  1. 7 points
    This is me...after a long time. I haven’t been on shys in years and I guess it is still one place I can rant without any fear of repercussions. I haven’t been on here in ages, even though there was a period I spent hours chatting away on here with complete strangers until early hours of the morning. Was pretty helpful in whatever I was going through at the time. I think part of me not coming back on, was fear of a love lost, part of it was that I had found new love. I don’t even know if all of those friends I had made once upon a time on here still are active. I hope that if you’re all out there you’ve all found what we originally came on this website for. I know I did and I’m grateful for that. So much has happened since then that has allowed me to grow as a person and I believe what finally prompted me to come back on and write this is that I’m in therapy and finally taking the time to self reflect. I joined shys almost a decade ago after my first relationship ended. I posted about that relationship on here. It was a four year long secret I kept with my best friend, that was intense and beautiful and still remains a secret to this day from almost everyone we know including her husband. She finally did get married two years ago and guess who gave a heartfelt speech at her wedding referring to her as the sister I didn’t have lol. I’m so happy that she’s still a part of my life but we both have to pretend like what we had never happened and then our friendship gets frustrating at times especially when she makes comments about my sexuality, telling me to choose a man like she did because it’s just easier and so much less complicated. I was fortunate to meet someone on shys shortly after joining it all those years ago. Someone whom I developed something very special with which I thought was rare. While it didn’t amount to much despite the love and respect I had for her, I still cherish her friendship to this day. Lastly, my most recent relationship, six years. She was the most real, legit relationship I had. I could finally be open about her, introduce her to my friends and wake up next to her when she stayed over. She was everything I could have asked for smart, beautiful, ambitious, athletic, and mostly she just loved me. She openly loved me...took care of me, was possessive about me in a way that I hadn’t experienced before. I thought she was the one I’d come out to my parents for. Unfortunately, the idea of being with a woman was not part of her plan and now six years later she still can’t come to terms being with me and decided to end our relationship. The reality is that every one of my exes has opted to be with men over me. The other reality is that through all my relationships, I have never been with a man. I dated them and was attracted to them but I never fell for anyone like I did with the women I’ve been with. I know I’m more attracted to bisexual women. Maybe part of it is my own discomfort at embracing being a lesbian or part of it is the challenge of convincing a woman who has only ever been with men of how amazing girl on girl sex can be. Maybe part of it is that I just find sexual fluidity attractive, the idea that it’s not about your gender but about who you are as a person that someone finds lovable. But I guess biologically speaking I am still a Virgin at 33 having only ever been with women. I don’t know if that makes me a default lesbian but I do feel I’m still attracted to men. And now after being with a woman so long and being rejected, I’m starting to wonder if I’m missing out on something lol. I’m still hurting, by no means ready to get into another serious relationship but I feel like I failed again and my self esteem is shot. I’ve decided to give up on women for now and figure out if I’m really gay or actually still bisexual. Thing is it’s been so long since I’ve even dated a guy that I don’t know what I’m doing and I’m kind of scared at being so much older, inexperienced, and navigating my way through this for the first time. I know most women come on here having been with men but not with a woman. Here I am with the opposite problem lol. I don’t know why I typed all this out, just felt like ranting and I thought this would probably be the best place vent frustrations about my confused sexuality. I don’t know if anyone will read this. But maybe someone can relate at least to the heartache part.
  2. 7 points
    As the long distance girlfriend in the above scenario I feel like I should put in my side of this. I love @treelover123 very much. We are both each other’s first experiences with a woman. We are huge parts of each other’s daily life. Although we live continents apart. And when we are together, it’s fireworks!! I would be absolutely devastated if we stopped our daily routine, but I want her to be happy above all. And if this woman can give her all she needs, how can I possibly claim to love her and not let her have what she wants and craves? I am in a different situation in that I have plenty of sex with hubby and in that I would be totally fine without sex even if that wasn’t the case. So that’s where I was coming from telling her that I would be fine with it. It wasn’t because I don’t care or this is some kind of casual thing to me. This is the most important relationship I have ever had in my life. Period. It was also incredibly tough coming to the realization that it would be only natural that this woman would eventually take my place if it all works out between them. So I was honest and shared all these feelings with her but tried to be supportive and listen to her absolute obsession with this woman. And you know what? its hard to do that. Very hard. Made me have a lot of appreciation for my husband. And being absolutely supportive of my relationship with @treelover123 But in the final analysis you can’t forbid people from following their heart, you can’t limit their experiences or tell them what to do. If she ends up chosing to pursue this thing and it ends up being the end of us, there is nothing I can do to stop that. i wish she would find someone to fill what she is still missing who would love her enough to want to fit into her life rather than uproot it. But that may be impossible?! So, I will just enjoy what we have had for the past 2 years and have for now, which is pretty incredible and be there as both friend and lover to help her work it out.
  3. 6 points
    I understand what you're saying. I've often wondered it myself, but then I realised it didn't really matter. I had zero attraction to any man other than my husband, for a long time after accepting my sexuality. Then one day I went to a festival and it was a hot day. The guy directing the cars had to wear a hi vis vest, open, over his bare, tanned, toned bod, and lets just say it was a reminder that men can still get me excited, though mostly on a physical appeal level only. I've never really connected deeply and emotionally with any man I've dated. But I think we can love people in different ways and gender doesn't really come into it. Some can give us a rush when we look at them, others we connect with on a deep level but there's no sexual chemistry. And some we love deeply in a purely romantic, platonic way. What you feel right now could be very different in a years time so I wouldn't overthink your current feelings too much, unless it's causing you harm or distress in some way.
  4. 6 points
    @TxCamilla - I'm very moved by your post. It takes tremendous personal strength, conviction and courage to arrive at such a difficult decision. As we all discover sooner or later, life is short - very short, and while most of us really don't want to hurt others in pursuit of our own personal happiness, it's your life (not anyone else's) to live, so it's essential to discover who you really are, and be true to yourself and live your life authentically. Sadly, alot of people get totally caught up in the pressure to conform to societal expectations and so never manage to do that. I hope that it all goes well tomorrow, and I wish you well on your journey.
  5. 5 points
    Seeing this billboard almost everyday on my way to work.
  6. 5 points
    HUGE CONGRATULATIONS TO INDIA ON THEIR LANDMARK RULING DECRIMINALIZING GAY SEX!!!!!!! https://edition.cnn.com/2018/09/06/asia/india-gay-sex-ruling-intl/index.html
  7. 5 points
    Well, you could make a new audio thread. "Demonstrate what noises you make when you come" It occurs to me girls tend to become, for a time, quite foul mouthed when being pleasured by another woman for the first time. I've heard it called the oooh shit phase. But I know I'm doing something right when she gets beyond foul language to being completely incoherent. No more pleases, no more yeses, no more noes, no more no mores. No more words, just grunting, sobbing, whimpering, panting. moaning, gasping...I want to take her past human speech to animal noises.
  8. 4 points
    Haha.. @kairi hello babes.... it does...it's super huge....to bite your lip and count to ten..and finally say what's been hanging on the end of your tongue for months....THIS ISNT ME..!!..to say my plush life, material things, no stress over money and comfortable living.......... this life I have led for 42 years ....isnt me!!...it's what is expected by others.... The path society took me down....yes i am happy.. but not fulfilled...i am married but lonely....please love me for who i am... This is me..AND I LOVE HER...!!! X X
  9. 4 points
    Just shouting out to anyone who may be worried and in the same boat, I have been needing to be wanted by men all my life, to use my body as a tool to attract men and to feel special. I hardly ever had sex for my own benefit unless it was to have my children. I love men and woman but it’s very rare for me to feel totally connected to a person and I do to my husband on so many levels. I feel chemistry with him and his skin and body but I rarely want to have sex. I have been with women in my past and enjoyed the physical side more than men and I am scared I may be gay.
  10. 4 points
    I’m going to deviate a bit in this post, as I want to further my healing with this tragic event. Hope you don’t mind. Growing up, seeing the twin towers was the first thing I saw in the skyline as we approached the city. Seeing the sunrise hitting them really made them gleam. When you stood beneath them and looked up, it looked like they went on for infinity into the clouds. September 11, 2001, is fuzzy in my mind up until about 9am. My earliest memory that day was thinking how beautiful the morning was; more so than most— low humidity, low 60s, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. For AP Art, we were allowed to go outside and draw landscapes. When I went back in and the period finished, I saw students hysterically crying all in the hallways and frantically trying to dial their cell phones. At social studies, I turned around and asked my friend what’s going on. The teacher was just sitting there and everyone was oddly quiet. “Didn’t you hear? Planes crushed into the World Trade Center.” ”yeah, right” I told her, as I turned around. I thought she was joking. Class eventually started as if everything went back to normal, for 30 minutes. Next period at lunch, my friend told me it really did happen. It felt like my heart went into my throat. I went frantic and went to the library to see it on tv. The library was closed to us but all the teachers were allowed in to watch. I could see the tv through the doors and opened my mouth stunned. A teacher scolded me for trying to look at the tv, and I told them I have a right to see what’s going on, and what if I had a parent who worked there? (Which my dad actually had stopped working there a few years prior). We were the only school in the area that didn’t get sent home early. So many students had family in the towers, but none of our phones were working. Once I got home, all I heard were fighter planes flying right over our house. It was shaking the house so much you could hear the china in our cabinet rattling. I went outside, and there were so many of them. I suppose I had just been stunned up until that point, but at that moment I finally started crying. It was probably the scariest moment of my life. The what-ifs and feeling like you’re in the thick of a war over what you’re seeing. The next morning, the smoke made its way in our direction. It’s something I hope nobody ever has to experience. It was green and murky and smelled terrible— like burned metal and flesh. It gave me a really bad headache. That whole day at school we were talking about where our loved ones are, who we know survived, passed away. Those few days after feel like such a fog; like I was in another world. Our cell phones weren’t working, and the entire radio was all static. Most local stations’ antennas were on the WTC. The signs for missing person were plastered all over the place. That was perhaps the saddest thing I experienced. There were so many, everywhere. I cried every time I saw one. And it was especially saddening seeing some of them still up after a few months. 3 months later, my mom and I went downtown to the overlook to see ground zero. It was specifically built for the public to see the damage. It was massive; so much bigger than I imagined. The amount of sadness you felt walking around there is something you can’t put into words. For the next couple of years, you could still see ash in the corner of the buildings. I’ll never forget that. In 2007 when I moved a few minutes from downtown Manhattan after graduating college, there would always be constant reminders of 9-11. Posters about treating PTSD, what to do if you get 9-11 related cancer, and being on the subway and passing demolished stations that have been untouched and have all the debris still inside. Not to mention the gaping hole in the skyline. Now that we’ve rebuilt, many of us are glad something is filling the hole in the skyline now, but it still doesn’t feel the same. It feels like something was robbed with us and we aren’t quite the same; empty. Generations now won’t understand the impact that day had, but we can teach them. It will always stay in the back of our minds. Last month I took my 4 year old son up to the top of the Empire State Building. The last time I was there was one week before 9-11 when I took my friends from Arkansas around the city (my mom actually predicted 9-11 and told us to stay away from the towers). I had to first ever panic attack because I didn’t want to be that high up. Sometimes it’s hard to forget the impact something has on you. RIP to all those lives lost. here I am in 1996 in front of the towers- https://ibb.co/gmNEs9
  11. 4 points
    @sasha420 Thank you for sharing your story. I am moved by this. A lot of us (the married women or in an exclusive heterosexual relationship) thought here, "if only I were single then it'd be easier to find love with a woman..." Obviously, it's not that simple. And by reading your story, something struck me. I had never thought about this but I probably gave up on women and focused on dating men after my relationship with my GF fell apart. I always thought that there were no women in the picture that's why I dated men instead. But, probably I developed a defense mechanism. I didn't bother to find another woman to date. I focused on the heterosexual attraction instead of being open to possibility of any gender. I might had unconsciously blocked my attraction on women because of seeing the relationship as merely futile. It was blocked and buried for quite some time but came back after many years when it was triggered. . What a speculative thought this is! I can relate a lot in your story. As what @Femme Lusting said, "stay true to yourself, and don't opt for a man because it's easier." Another thing is, let go. If my theory about what I had gone through was correct, then, it must be because I didn't manage well to let go of my hurt feelings. I was only fortunate that even if I didn't end up with a woman, I ended with a wonderful man who I truly have a connection with. But...maybe if I had learnt to let go and be mindful of my attraction with women, then, I don't know, maybe I ended up with a woman. Again, thank you for your post. I hope that you find love and happiness in the end. Stay strong. Take care.
  12. 4 points
    @sasha420, thank you for sharing, and as a relative newbie, I'm always happy to see people return to this wonderful community. I agree with everything @Violetta wrote. Stay true to yourself, and don't opt for a man just because it's "expected" or "easier". I put the words "expected" and "easier" in quotes because they are subjective ideals from the perspective of hetero culture, and they often don't apply to queer women -- in many cases, having a relationship with a man should not be what a person expect of oneself, and if forced, it's in no way, easy. I hope that makes sense.
  13. 4 points
    I’ve been a member here for two years now, I love shybi...this place has become crucial to my sanity. It is my safe haven when I need a place to breathe, my sounding board when I need to vent, and most importantly, my support system. You ladies are my therapists, my teachers, and my friends. I don't know how I would cope without having a place like this for self expression. Here I am free to be the me that I want to be, but can't in 'the real world'. Here I don't have to hide, or pretend, instead I can be emotional and vulnerable. Here, it's ok to be bisexual, and express my thoughts and feelings towards women. You may not always like what I have to say, or agree with me, but you listen, and make me feel heard. You make me feel truly grateful to be part of this community...I love it here... However...there is a downside...there's always a downside....envy! I'm not the only one who feels free to express my thoughts and feelings here, there are many many more of you. I love hearing about your lives and situations...understanding our similarities as well as our differences. Some of you I've gotten to know more personally than others, but regardless, I find everyone's story interesting. It's refreshing to see just how many of you are out there, confirming that I am not alone. The problem is, the more I learn about you wonderful women, the more I realize just how envious I am of you... Some of you are happily married to a man and successfully maintain an intimate relationship with a woman in addition to your marriage...I envy you...because you've managed to achieve my ideal situation. Some of you are involved in long distance relationships, whether it be your ‘primary’ or ‘secondary’ relationship, some maybe restricted to online. Even though that would be difficult, I still envy you...because you have the emotional connection. Some of you have explored your sexuality prior to your marriage but now feel incomplete because you miss that female connection...I still envy you...because you figured this shit out before settling down. Some of you have experienced mutual meaningful relationships with women (whether married or not) and for one reason or another parted ways and you've lost the love of your life...I envy you...because you've had such profound love to begin with. Others are single and feel lonely because you haven't yet found the right person...I envy you...because you're free to explore. Have you talked to your husband about your desires and he surprised you with his understanding and support? I envy you...because you can communicate openly. Have the perfect marriage but hoping to find that one missing piece of the puzzle? I envy you...because my puzzle has pieces scattered all over the floor and I don't know what goes where. I mean I could go on and on...you all have different situations, and I'm truly happy for each and every one of you...but I'm also envious of you. You have something that I want, whether you have it now, or in the past, or may in the future... I wish I had the perfect marriage...I wish I had open communication with my husband...I wish he showed me support and understanding. I wish I was free to explore my sexuality in my own way, on my own terms. I wish I could have some of what many of you ladies here have, or had...I envy you!
  14. 4 points
    My number 1 reason for getting married and having sex was to have kids. Number 2 was I cared for him and thought we had a good chance of having a long and happy marriage but it wasn't meant to be. I was a fool to think it would but life can change so quick. Most of us women, want the passion, the emotional connection and a bit of romance thrown in, most men it's only in the courtship stages that that applies. Of course it's only my opinion and how I feel on it. I always wanted to be treated with respect and (to be frank) wanted my pussy to be treated like the holy grail. And not to be treated like it was yesterday's newspaper. Apologies for my language here. My point being, another woman usually does respect that and takes the time to care for it like one does for a blooming flower. If it's not nurtured, it wont bloom. Your probably not gay, you might just need more attention. More caring for at this point in time. You might be a higher number on the Bi spectrum, like a 4 or 5 on the Kinsey Scale where, someone else might only be a 2. I sit on about 3, we are still Bi. Another thing I thought of was some people aren't meant to be together forever. Myself and my husband just grew apart. We ended up with nothing in common anymore. So we slit the sheets and moved on. (17 years married). Life is in chapters sometimes. You might be starting a new phase in life. Maybe just go with the flow and see where it takes you.
  15. 4 points
    I love your honesty, but hmmm.....yes....it definitely belongs in the fantasy zone. There are exceptions, but for most people, especially those craving emotional attachment, feelings often deepen. So in reality the initial excitement and raging sexual chemistry eventually leads to feelings of guilt and people getting hurt, sadly. Unless, of course, you're one of the lucky few in an understanding, polyamarous relationship.....in which case, I imagine, some of your excitement will be lost if the element of getting caught has been taken away. But maybe your fantasy story will have a better ending.......
  16. 4 points
    I'm much more into the idea of being dominant with a woman than a man, but think I'd prefer switching. I suspect being one or the other all the time would get old.
  17. 4 points
    The years since I joined shy have been a real learning lesson for me.I learned more of myself first of all.How others see me, how I am, how I can be and most importantly what I want.So yeah it's been a real lesson and continue to be. I joined scared guarded and extremely closed off. I still am to an extent but I also changed a little too .Those very few that have sticked around know how different I am than what most think of me online especially . They know I am a little weird and diverged they know I value kindness and politeness, they know I can be intense and a little bitchy but they also know I am Greek too lol and they certainly know I dont do things with intentions. Throughout our entire lives we learn. We learn and it's up to us what and who we will keep. We will encounter humans that we have no control over their actions and reactions towards us, that we can't predict an outcome of our interactions with them.But it is up to us how we will react and its something I personally am failing at it . I am intense and I shouldn't let others rule my emotions in certain situations but I do sometimes.Anyway,things are evolving for me and I want to believe I am too, despite certain difficulties that have not been caused by me or someone I care a lot ;) (no matter what certain individuals think or believe here).But that's our life's purpose I suppose, to learn and evolve because if we learn but remain the same then what's the purpose. Right?
  18. 4 points
    Anyone wondering what true love really is, should read this.....When all you want is for that person to be happy and feel complete, even if it means potentially sacrificing your own happiness in the process. There's nothing selfish about this. Everyone has been clear about what they need. Hurt only comes through dishonesty and miscommunication. I hope things work out for you @treelover123. It's not easy to navigate, for any of us, and the bond you have with your girlfriend is one of those rare once in a lifetimes that are so precious. Whatever happens, you'll treasure it forever. It's very clear that you respect her feelings in all this and you don't want to lose her, and I can't imagine how hard it must be to be apart, with no where to channel that sexual energy. All I can suggest, with reference to your original post, is that woman #2 is also in an open relationship and dating others (while continuing to be safe, of course) That way she has no tie to you, and should she meet someone she really likes, you part ways. Always risky whatever you decide, but go with your gut. I don't think this is the end of it just yet. @Ona thanks for giving me a good cry this morning. I admire you so much for saying this and feel it's important for everyone to take note of and practice in their own lives.
  19. 3 points
    I know that many women here have been in similar situations. I thought I was Bi when I was in my mid 20s. I am now 37. I realized I was gay Jan '17 when I was in a relationship with a woman. I met my husband when I was 19 and married when I was 21. I have decided to leave my marriage and to find my own self. The last 1.5 years have been really tough. It has taken a year just to get the strength to get to this point. On Monday I will have a family session with husband and let him know that I am leaving. This is a very difficult thing for me to do. I have never been on my own. I am also the type of person that doesn't want to hurt others, especially someone I really care about. I'm worried and really scared about Monday. I don't know how he'll react. I just know I need to do to this for me. Thanks for listening.
  20. 3 points
    That's great that your husband is coming round to the idea of you dating a woman, it must be a great feeling I think rules and boundaries are needed, especially if youre doing it with your husbands permission. Make sure that what you expect and what he expects are the same thing. I can't really give you much advice on this side of things, as not all of us can tell our partners. As for the privacy side of things, if hes willing to let you have a relationship with a woman, he should also have enough trust in you to not need to see the messages between you and her? Relationships with women, as I'm finding out, can be very intense. I would think if he saw the messages shared between you, it could definately spark some jealously/insecurity for him, but that's only my opinion. You know what he's like and what he can handle. I know I wouldn't feel comfortable as the other woman, knowing that your husband might be reading messages or seeing those photos meant for your eyes only, if you know what I mean... What I would say, is before you enter into anything with a woman, make sure you both know what each other are looking for, and what you can both offer each other. This may prevent alot of hurt and heartache further down the line. Good luck, I hope you work something out with him and are able to find a woman who fits what you're looking for. For all the overthinking mine causes me, I wouldn't change her for the world.
  21. 3 points
    Don't freak out about your feelings or lack thereof for your husband. There's a common pattern with most of the ladies here in that they get super excited about their bisexuality and it consumes them to the point where they might question whether they're actually gay, they lose attraction to men etc etc. Bear with it. If you're only just embracing it now then it's new and thrilling, and confusing and awesome. The newness will eventually wear off so give it time to settle down before you let it effect your husband too. Once you're more level headed about everything, then if you can, talk to him. I know that's not the "you go girl!!" Advice that a lot of people throw out to every new member, but believe me it's important. Take time to get to know yourself, talk things through with people in the same position and try to keep a rational head on whilst also enjoying yourself. Good luck!
  22. 3 points
    I just heard the sweetest I love you and had a kiss from my daughter!!
  23. 3 points
    Ultimately, it's a question only you can answer for yourself. I think most of us (in the general population) are somewhere along the bi spectrum, even if closer to one end or the other. Rarely do we lie right in the middle. I identify as gay, but I spent years dating men, and married to one. I would imagine sex with a woman while with a man in order to get off (in my head, it was a threesome). But with a woman, I never have to imagine anyone but the person I'm with. I knew when I was married that if/WHEN I left, it would be women only moving forward. I had no desire other men, but I longed for a woman. Being with a woman is so much more gratifying for me, and it just feels right. My attraction to women is SO different from my attraction to men. I still might find a guy attractive, but even if I was single, I wouldn't want to DO anything about it. The more I look back on growing up, the more signs I realize I missed along the way. But I grew up in a small conservative town in a Christian family where that wasn't even a possibility in my head. It wasn't until I got out and had a friend who was bi that it even dawned on me that I might have a sexual/romantic interest in women (not for my friend, but in general). I'd always felt like ANY attraction to men meant you were straight. I just "admired" certain women. Boy was I wrong!
  24. 3 points
    And here we are. T-40 days until we see each other again. Its precious to look back over the bits of our journey that I've shared here. In the past two years we've experienced so much joy. Falling in love, talking everything to death, becoming a real presence in each other's lives. She is my best friend. Her presence keeps me centered and makes for all kinds of naughty excitement in my days. After leaving her last time, I went into a three month funk. All because I can't quite understand why it worked out that the person I love so intensely must be so far away. When our contact was limited in a time that was really tough on her, I felt so powerless, so allone. We survived it. We also survived my infatuation with another woman. That was tough on her. On us. We got really real about our wants and needs and the implications of our arrangement. But oh happy day! I can almost taste her on my lips again.
  25. 3 points
    Thank you for keeping us updated. I think we all wish we had the answers, but I admire you so much for having the courage to leave and be true to yourself. And in the long run, if you know you're truly gay, you're doing the best by him by allowing him to be with someone who can give themselves completely. You worry if you can make it through all this, but is the alternative staying with a man who doesn't make you happy? Try not to let outside influences affect your decision. The way I see it, people come into our lives for a reason. Of course you will have gone through a lot together and maybe you needed him to get through that. But maybe that chapter has closed and you no longer need each other for the the next stage. You'll know when you've made the right decision, so take your time. Sounds like you've got a good man and partner who's trying to support you, which is great, and will hopefully lead to an amicable split, should that be what happens. Please let us know how things go. Wishing you all the best!
  26. 3 points
    Yesterday I was sitting in a coffee shop full of people, having lunch with a friend, when suddenly a man came in and rushed up to our table, which was all the way in the back, and asked me if I could spare some change. I had none, so declined, and he then left as quickly as he had entered without asking anyone else. ‘Why me?’, I wondered aloud, to which my friend replied, ‘Probably because you have a nice vibe.’ But I soon realized that it was far more simple than that - I had smiled at him very briefly (for just a couple of seconds) when he entered the room, and he took that as a signal to approach. So, think about that and how it relates to meeting women...
  27. 3 points
    Most of us in here made some choices for our reasons each. Maybe they were rushed or a little forced upon us, maybe it was fear or unacceptance. Maybe it was what was expected from us.As blueberry said nothing is easy and simple.But the thing is that we can't live in regrets, because if we do we will end up miserable. The past is our past good or bad, we need to come to terms with it because it happened and it is part of our lives.Most of us struggle with acceptance.Of ourselves, our pasts, our futures, of what and who we are.We just need to find the ways that suit us each with dealing and doing things so that we can be happy with what we have, what we want and what we can have
  28. 3 points
    For me, my gut is usually right about the heart of the matter, but it doesn't see the bigger picture. So I might be right that someone is attracted to me, but they're in a monogamous relationship or not accepting of their same-sex attraction or some other factor that means it's never going to go anywhere. This can sometimes get confusing.
  29. 3 points
    @Rani Your fantasy isn't weird at all. I'm sure there are married women who will bite this enticement because that's what they fantasise as well. Maybe not as much as having the element of forbidden fruit and being found out to be the driving force. When you're in your 20s and single, the "we want what we can't have" can be hot and mind blowing but more unlikely to attract you when you're married and juggling 3 or 4 things in your life including bisexuality. Most bi-married women want a genuine girlfriend or a reliable sex buddy. If you can be either of the two, then, maybe you're the dream woman they're waiting for.
  30. 3 points
    This post resonated big time with me. I felt the same as you when i had my big ah-ha moment about a very particular woman, who was also a best friend. Attraction + feelings + connection = explosive :)) All i know is that my life has never been the same since opening pandora’s box... no pun intended
  31. 3 points
    I just think you don't have chemistry with EVERYONE That sudden spark for a woman can make you realise that your sexuality is less limited than you previously believed. Maybe you'll be attracted to another woman in your lifetime, maybe you won't. It's also maybe worth noting that women (as I understand it / based on research I've read) have a more fluid sexuality. Our sexuality is more able to change and evolve and adapt in different situations. It'd be interesting to hear more about how you met / know the woman you've got an attraction to?
  32. 3 points
    By all these lovely tokens September days are here, With summer's best of weather And autumn's best of cheer. Helen Hunt Jackson
  33. 3 points
    if i was asked this question 2+ years ago, i wouldn’t have believed it if someone called my naked body beautiful, hell... i would have been to shy to even be naked around others. Since then (& around by initial discovery) i took the time for me and busted out of a funk i didn’t even know i was in until i reflected. Now, after some much needed self care both mentally & physically, should someone tell me this, yes, yes i would believe it bc i finally believe in myself being beautiful despite the scars and imperfections.
  34. 3 points
    It went better than expected. I totally broke down at the session and didn't get everything I wanted to said. It took me half the session to start talking. I know that I hurt him and that he wasn't expecting the separation. He feels like I've shut him out and that I need to communicate more. He feels like he's done so many things wrong and wants to know how to fix them to get be to come back home. Tbh it's not just one thing and it's hard to name or list the things that drove me away. I just knew a big part of it is I'm gay and being married to a man doesn't fit that. I'm still trying to process everything that went on Mon and need some time to sit down and think. I've been staying with my mom and with work I haven't had much time to do anything. I will give you a better update in a few days.
  35. 3 points
    I'm a very sensual person, so for me having long and romantic sex is incredable. Taking a lot of time to slowly work up to the more sexual acts of pleasuring your partner is a must now and again when being psychical. Massage is good. Getting some nice oils, massaging your partner all over, then proceeding to massage more intimately can be one was to start off a more romantic love making session or kissing and stroking each other, teasing and building the tension without going to certain areas of each others bodies. With both male and female partners I have liked to put a lot of thought and effort into keeping sex romantic and loving, of course not all the time though. There are times for romantic love making and times for fucking, but that's for another thread. Lol
  36. 3 points
    I don’t get gentle right now, so would quite like it! My husband works with cars and has big, strong, rough hands; he finds it really hard to be as gentle as I’d like. When we’ve tried ‘romance’ of candles and music, we’ve both just ended up in laughter! Sometimes we take it slow and let it heat up, but as working parents there isn’t always the time or opportunity to have a long session. My experience with a woman was definitely gentler - softer and smoother for starters! If I could wave a magic wand and be with a woman tonight, then I would definitely want it to be slow…have time to explore and get to know one another. How that would change in a long term relationship, I don’t know!
  37. 3 points
    Nope, just nope. I am very comfortable with my sexuality.
  38. 3 points
    Feeling trapped in the wrong body is not easy I was in a phase in my teens where I was feeling I was the wrong gender! I hated all the female parts on my body and being feminine. I am still not that feminine . I didn't know what to do. I finally cut my hair really short to look like a boy, still have it short, and was wearing bigger clothes so I would hide my boobs and pass for a boy. Being in a small orthodox town, shy or introvert or however they are called now and having no friends because i just didn't feel comfortable, I was trying on my own to find my identity .Never had anyone to talk and understand because the people that were close to me were constantly trying to change me to fit theirs and society's standards.I ended up not feeling enough then, not liking my body because if I was criticized so badly from people that knew me so well probably they weren't liking what they were seeing .Anyway,i had to overcome on my own and find some good traits I had. Because I realized that no matter how I feel and am inside this outside is What I will have forever. Couldn't change.No matter under how many layers I would try to hide it under that was the body I would have to have even if others didn't like it.So I tried my best to accept what I had, I went through many years of not liking what I was seeing.I still don't see me as anything extraordinary or beautiful but I now feel good with myself though I have my days of self criticism. Because in the end inside me I am me and not gay or bi or my boobs or my legs and my hair.
  39. 3 points
    I’ve been in a monogamous relationship with my husband for the past 17 years, married for 10. Monogamy is definitely more suited for me personally, however, since I’ve acknowledged my bisexuality a few years ago, I feel a little boxed in with monogamy. I’m not quite sure why my views have changed, I would never consider having outside relationships with men, never have. But I desperately want to explore relationships with women...I know, that’s such a double standard..I feel guilty for wanting to go outside my marriage. I don’t want multiple women, just one, I tend to put my whole self into relationships, and really commit myself to making it work. Ideally I’d like her to be exclusive as well, other than her husband if she had one. But that really depends on the circumstances, mostly regarding distance and time spent together, and her specific needs. If being exclusive wasn’t right for her, for reasons that make sense to me, that wouldn’t be a deal breaker for me.
  40. 3 points
  41. 3 points
    xaxaaxa as i said you should had seen me hormonal!! My poor husband didnt know where to hide every day!!At some point i thought he would put me a leash to contain me And i wasnt even pregnant!!!
  42. 3 points
    Not even once.I might get frustrated some times and about certain things but i will not deny myself anymore.
  43. 3 points
    Lol 9 times a week?? Only ? You should have seen me hormonal Don't be nervous .I think most of us have been through this stage at some point.Hormones sometimes rule us but as @lsroses said once this part of you is woken up is going to be present
  44. 3 points
    Wow guys, now that I’m all caught up WOW - the hopeless romantic in me wants @treelover123 to forget about that not crazy hot blonde and just run into to arms of @Ona forever (if i’m reading this right). The down to earth, understands reality, part of me recognizes how difficult this situation is and couldn’t imagine not seeing my girl more then 1-2x a year...and couldn’t possibly navigate the longing that comes along with that - despite phone calls, txts and facetime. I think you the fact that you guys are so honest and real about the situation and limitations makes you both so much more prepared for a continued conversation. Universe has a funny way of making things happen as they should....keep talking and sifting through these challenges, i’m rooting for love and happiness for both (whether together or apart). Jealousy is a hard emotion to navigate, but if you guys can work through it- the right pieces will fall into place in time. @Ona - I have to tip my hat to you. we have been following each other’s journeys since the very beginning of my shy membership and i very much admire you and your outlook on life and your resilience and of course your discretion - damn how we evolved from two years ago! @treelover123 - all will fall into place, I commend your desire to make it all fit into place. I also commend your honesty in expressing your needs, that probably didn’t come easy - my only advice from this point forward is..Go with your gut! Sending you both positive vibes!
  45. 3 points
    Thanks for the support ladies. Feels a little less awful & lonely having a safe space to be heard
  46. 3 points
    You didn't have to do this revelation here @Ona but this was your decision. My hats off to you for being who you are and for your immense love for @treelover123. For the record, "YOU are the special unicorn in the most special unicorns ever." (to borrow @treelover123 phrase). Again, you have my respect and admiration.
  47. 3 points
    What she said: "The chance that i would not become emotionally involved with you if we had a physical relationship, is slim. Over the long term, this won't be good for either of us." So there it is. I said the logical thing would be to walk away. She is saying the same thing. The math is clear. What have I learnt? I wished for an intelligent, interesting not-crazy hot blonde to have sex with. I got one. It didn't work out. I now wish for a not-crazy hot blonde, who is happily committed and feels adventurous, is not in any of my close circles, is respectful of my commitments and would share amazing chemistry. I know... I'm looking for the most special unicorn in the most special tribe of unicorns ever.
  48. 3 points
    Thanks for all the support ladies. It's t minus 4 hours until the family session. I'm actually doing better than I thought I would right now. I'm not crying and just a little anxious. We'll see how it goes between now and then. Love you guys.
  49. 3 points
    Having support is the most important.I really don't have and I know I'll never have if I decide to do something like that.But I decided to do something alone on my own , even the slightest change and go to a certain direction because I feel that eventually my Gay side will take over. I think it's inevitable to happen at some point at least for me and I want to be prepared. Good luck for Monday Think positive, feel positive and everything will be OK
  50. 3 points
    @treelover123 I admire a lot of what you said. I can totally relate to creative solutions to resolve (& not ignore very basic human needs). Life and love and sex is complicated. I totally relate to the “goody two shoes” younger years - and have been through a similar process as you have over the past year is so. It has been a very interesting journey when you dig deep and tap into your truth and needs.