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  1. 9 points
    Mine is pretty simple. To be able to push a woman against the wall, passionately kiss her...gently squeeze her boobs and kiss the top of them working my way down until I reach her hard nipples. I'd gently suck on those for a little watching her squirm. Then move my way down kissing her stomach...aching for what's about to come. Pull her pants down along with her panties. Dive my head between her legs, kissing her inner thighs until I reach to her folds. I'd slightly part them to get my first taste that I want so badly. Then I'd devour her and make her come over and over, me being pleasured simply by watching her reaction. I so wish this was a reality. Anyone want to volunteer?! Lol
  2. 8 points
    I want this. Bad. Massage fantasy is huge for me. Imagining a woman laying on her stomach legs apart some, while I massage her legs up to her ass, and as I’m massaging the inner thighs, my fingers lightly brush against her pussy lips. I go on and act as if I didn’t do anything, after a few times of that I feel she’s wet to the slightest touch this time she opens her legs for me and I can slip my finger just between the lips, slowly feeling how wet she is. As I’m rubbing my fingers around her soft, smooth wet pussy she starts to moan for me and I can feel myself start to get so wet. I’m rubbing her clit softly as I slide a finger in and she moans while I get a nice rhythm going on her, my fingers sticky and soaked. Mmmmm! She grips the pillow and I can tell she’s close I go a little faster and I feel her tense up, her clit throbbing and her pussy tight on my fingers. I move my hand and she rolls over and asks when she can do my massage... drip drip drop
  3. 7 points
    So, I did two bold things in one week time... I had only come out to my husband, then 2 weeks ago I came out to my sister and this past Monday I've decided to come out publicly on my Instagram. OMG! Two things kind of triggered my come out. I haven't felt too happy this year due to lots of reasons but it basically all came back to me not being who I really want to be in this life and regretting giving things up that I once did have. As I am a believer in creating our own happiness, I told myself I really needed to start being all of me despite any possible backlash or putting myself in a vulnerable position. I work as a creative artist and my art is influenced by my emotions and inspirations. I have been creating a lot of pride art too but was always afraid to put it out there, so I just kept on doing what I get paid for but I really wanted to create more art that is personal too and supports specific movements. Then I also got into a huge fight with my mom 2,5 weeks ago. Our relationship has been very rocky since I was a teen and she has always had other plans for me and has the hardest time accepting my creative free spirit self. She really crossed the line in our latest fight. so that and already feeling out of place actually pushed me to become stronger and thank god for my supportive husband, we eventually decided together I should just come out and be all of me. So I did, I personally told my sister who's very open-minded as well and this week I put it out there through an art post on Instagram. Btw my mom doesn't know yet (I think) we haven't been talking since that fight and I don't know how that is going to end. I am SO HAPPY I came out, I feel like a weight has lifted off my shoulders and I feel more myself already. Now that I have come out publicly and can make it part of my normal life, marriage but also of my public artwork, I've decided I wanted to finally do something out of my comfort zone as well (I mean, as If coming out wasn't that already lol) I am a bit "on hold" this year as we are waiting to be transferred from The Netherlands to the USA through my husband's job, something I cannot wait for as I have lived in the US twice before and feel so much more at home there plus have a lot of friends there and more career options. As an emigration through a big company is quite the progress it's taking up quite some time AND stress, therefore I can't really do much here as I know we will be moving once everything is arranged, which will most likely be the end of the year or the beginning of next year. I have been feeling very isolated for that reason, career-wise but also want to act on my bisexual feelings so bad and meet like-minded people, but in our current temporary area, it's just not an option. Then, I found out that our capital Amsterdam, where I have lived previously as well and which is a city that is very openminded and a lot different than the part where we are located now, is celebrating Women's Pride on Wednesday, July 31st. I came across an event agency run by two women that are specialized in bisexual women party's because they think most pride parties exclude bi women and there's just not that much for our part of the LGBT community (which is definitely the case) and for Women's Pride they are hosting a really big Glow in the dark women's only party in a club located at one of the highest buildings of Amsterdam with a skyline view. The way they've been advertising it, it should be a really openminded and sexy event... Well, I've booked a ticket and I am going there alone and will be booking a hotel too. OMG! I am super excited yet I know I am going to be a nervous wreck the day itself. I am getting weak in the knees only imagining myself entering that club on my own. I have no idea what will come out of it. Maybe it's just a night out and something to do on my own, which is good too but maybe it could end up in my first experience with a woman, whether it's a kiss or more. (Ok I did kiss a girl before but I was a teen, so that's too long ago) The party also has a dress code (sexy and white) so I'll be going shopping soon. My husband is super supportive about it too and less nervous than I am, all he really seems to care about is that I'll make sure I am safe while being out on my own. I just wanted to share this with you guys as I am so happy I finally have this part in my life now for real and while I don't know what the future brings, I am sure the future for me looks a lot brighter now than when I was going through life hiding half of me. I also want to say. that this forum has definitely contributed in me finding out more about myself as a bisexual and I already made some awesome friends through here!
  4. 6 points
    A realization has at last fully come to me rather very late in life, age 51 to be exact, and that realization is this: I am so very lucky to be a woman. Turn the clock back some 40 years ago, and I would have never made such a statement. Some 40 years ago, I lived in a state of profound jealousy of men, of all their advantages, of all their (supposed) strengths, of all the doors open to them that did not seem to be quite so open to me: I looked at corporate executives, and I saw men. I looked at United States Senators, and I saw men. I looked at physicists, astronomers, biochemists, whatever, and I saw men. I looked at astronauts and I saw men. I looked at professional athletes, football, basketball, baseball, and I saw men. The whole entire list of all the things I might dream that I would want to be, that I would want to do, and I saw men. Oh, of course, there was a sprinkling of women here and there. But each instance of the female form, standing there in a lovely brightly colored dress with her long beautiful hair, in the midst of a sea of cardboard cutout suits and ties and identical short haircuts that were de rigueur of the successful male, just seemed to declare “the exception proves the rule.” And I, a teenager at the time, born and raised in quintessentially patriarchal Salt Lake City, Utah, stared with grave sullenness at this picture of a world where a person who simply happened to be born with a penis could be anything, do anything, have anything, but I could not. Normal teenage angst was bad enough, but with this jealousy of boys and resentment over the fact I was born a girl added into the mix, I slid into quite a dark mental space, at times even borderline suicidal. I started skipping school. A former straight-A student, I started getting Cs and Ds and even flunking classes. So the school sat me down with a psychologist, and the psychologist gave me a questionnaire to fill out. I don’t recall the official name of it, but I suppose it was one of those less-than-subtle tools used to profile a person into some psychological category to then enable the appropriate, if necessary, psychological treatment. In other words, lots of stupid questions. But one of the stupid questions I do recall and it was this (directed of course to a female, boys received the opposite question): “Have you ever wished you were a boy?” I answered that question yes. So, apparently, the psychologist contacted my parents and told them of this answer I gave to this particular question. I then had an amazingly surreal experience. My father coming into the living room that evening to speak to me – looking worried, and rather like he was sick to his stomach – and he told me he had been told what I had said on that questionnaire, that I wished I was a boy. My dad swallowed hard – his face actually turned a bit of a greenish shade as I recall – he took a deep breath, and asked, with terrible awkwardness “are you….do you mean that you….are you….uh….attracted to girls?” I stared at him with my usual expression, the expression my face was perpetually stuck in in those days, that is, grave sullenness. I knew my dad was a homophobe, although that was actually too kind a word and not precise enough, as my dad was in fact a homo-hater. I was quite well aware of that. So this was neither the time nor the place for me to remark to my dad “you know what, as a matter of fact, hell yes I am attracted to girls.” No, not the time to spring that one on him. It would never be the time to spring that one on him. And in any case, that was not the reason why I answered that stupid question on that stupid form as I did. So I flatly honestly told him: “Dad, I said I wished I was a boy because boys can be anything they want, do anything they want….boys can play football! And I can’t. That’s all I meant.” And my dad’s face was suffused with tremendous relief, he looked like a terrible weight had been lifted from him, he almost kind of smiled. Seriously, he heard what I said, my plaintive wail against sexism, against doors of opportunity that were closed to me, or at least not exactly wide open to me, and he actually, nevertheless, almost smiled. And he said, happily, “Oh. I see. Well, okay.” He gave me an awkward little comforting pat on the shoulder, as consolation, I guess, for the fact I couldn’t be a football player, and he left the room. As far as he was concerned, the main issue of great concern, i.e. the issue of was his daughter a lezzie (oh the horror) had been answered, in his mind, in the negative and so all was right with the world. And the expression on my face remained as before: grave sullenness. That was my father, and my mother? Oh, not much better. She unintentionally but quite firmly reinforced my wish that I had not been born female, and she did this with the “birds and the bees” discussion. She sat me down at the kitchen table, a deep blush on her face, cleared her throat, and muttered that I was of an age now that I should learn about sex. I was all ears at that point, my expression still grave but not so sullen all of a sudden, and I listened expectantly. But instead of saying more, she placed a book on the table, a paperback novel, and she slid it over to me and said flatly, “Read that.” She paused and added, “If you have any questions….you can ask me.” Her tone of voice and the expression on her face said emphatically: please don’t ask me any questions. I looked down at the book. It was “The Thorn Birds” by Colleen McCullough. Being a devoted book lover, I was fairly happy, nothing I loved better than books, so I dove right into this book. I was immediately enraptured by the main character Meggie, who we meet in the book as a little girl. I could immediately relate to her. The book follows her into young adulthood. The plot, in summary, is that she develops a crush on a priest, but obviously that is not going to go anywhere. Devastated, she meets another man, who happens to have a physical resemblance to the priest she adores, so she dates him, and accepts his marriage proposal. But Meggie’s mother was not one to be informative about sexual matters to her daughter (that certainly rang a bell), so Meg entered upon her wedding night in complete ignorance about what exactly sex involved. And because this guy only resembled the priest superficially, was actually a very rough and crude sort of man, who took it for granted Meggie, being a beautiful woman, had already slept around a lot, well let’s just say the wedding night was not exactly romantic. In fact, Meggie’s first sexual experience was utterly horrific. She experienced terrible physical pain (since she was not aroused at all, she was totally dry, and he used a condom without any lubrication, hence terrible pain for her) and she felt the whole act to be so disgusting and perverted and awful and terrible. This was my introduction to sex. This was my sex education. Reading about a woman losing her virginity in terrible pain and agony, no pleasure, no passion, no love. Just a painful, and as Meggie thought of it, disgusting act. Now, of course, I was intelligent enough (and had read a few other things on the matter of sex, not to mention had seen many an R-rated movie) that I knew that Meggie’s experience had more to do with the rough callous insensitive crudeness of the man, and was not a general statement on what the experience of sex is for all women in all circumstances At least I kind of knew that….maybe….but that book did set it firmly in my mind to expect terrible pain and discomfort in my first experience of intercourse on my wedding night. It also caused me to feel furious anger towards my mother. I mean, really mom? This is how you teach me about sex? By giving me a book that tells me sex is a horrible experience? That sex is simply a duty a wife must suffer and endure at the hand’s of her husband? That sex is just one more distasteful chore? You wash the dishes, iron the clothes, lay down and get penetrated by your husband’s penis, mop the floor, vacuum the living room, that is the to-do list for the day? But right on the heels of that furious anger towards my mother, I felt great sadness and great pity for her, since what this was really telling me was that this was her experience of sex. That she had never enjoyed sex. It dawned upon me, with great horror, that my mother perhaps quite possibly had never even experienced an orgasm in her whole life. And with grave sullenness, I thought: Damn it sucks to be a woman. Wish I was a man. Well, of course I got over my teenage blues. In college I met and married a very wonderful man (still married, will soon be celebrating our 31st wedding anniversary). I did indeed brace myself for a painful experience on my wedding night….and then was relieved to find it was not so painful after all, and in fact was pretty damn good. When it was over, I looked over at him stretched out on the bed and I softly hesitantly asked, as I was not quite sure if it was physically possible for a man, “Can we do that again?” And he grinned and said “Sure!” (Author's note: that was the first and last time we did a "twice in a row" deal; thereafter, it was the more traditional one-and-done.) Of course the next morning I was terribly sore. But very happy. I had pretty much gotten over my thing of “wish I was a man.” I was comfortable as a woman. But. Still. I wondered….. I looked around at society at large, and I saw men unabashedly sex-obsessed. And women? The general attitude that seemed to be presented, society-wise, was women ranging from being either mildly kinda sorta somewhat interested in sex, all the way to rather completely uninterested, even disdainful of it. Never did I see portrayed in the media an aggressively sex-obsessed woman unless she was a slut/whore/prostitute. Women in general simply were not shown as deeply passionately sexual beings. Perhaps what I was seeing had to do in part with the general environment I lived in – Utah – but certainly on TV, in movies, I still felt I saw this pattern. Men were the enthusiastic ones, with generally a gleeful attitude of “hey, lets go screw ourselves senseless” while women were portrayed as strictly interested in wine, roses, a lovely candlelit dinner, an evening out dancing (all good things, I am not condemning them, I am all for romance) but then it was only maybe, perhaps, possibly demurely condescending to agree to a light (and, to my eyes, less-than-passionate) kiss….and on and on like that. Lustful women? Absolutely not. Lustful men? Well, you couldn't swing a cat without hitting one, that was just taken for granted as simply "the nature of a man." My husband and I frequented porn movie rental places, frequented them quite frequently, as a matter of fact. And I always noticed, quite uncomfortably, that I was the only woman there. Always. It was all men, and then me. A little bit of grave sullenness crept back into my face. I had to wonder, were men just fundamentally more sexual beings? Were they just more in tune with their senses and with sensuality, and were women, in general, deprived of this ability, with prostitutes/sluts/whores being the only exception? Were women fundamentally wired to be incapable of enjoying purely lustful, screw-yourself-senseless erotica? And if so, how sad. It seemed to me that men truly were the luckier gender then, because they were really into sex, apparently fundamentally wired to be really into sex, while women seemed altogether fairly aloof from raw lust, apparently only concerned with “romance” and having too delicate a sensibility for raw lust. Or at least women sure weren’t showing up to rent pornos, anyway. Of course I was there, renting pornos, and that meant, in my mind, that must mean there was something askew with me and I was not a “normal” woman, maybe my hormones were somehow off balance, which, I confusedly thought, would then also explain why I lusted so very much after women, fantasized so much about sex with women. It must be because I had some male hormone thing going on in me, or something like that. Oh, I was so pathetically confused. But that is what happens when you are raised in Salt Lake City, Utah. You end up, for a time at least, pathetically confused and ignorant. But that was then. This is now. I am neither confused, nor ignorant, anymore. I am so lucky to be a woman, so grateful to be a bisexual woman, and now feel, if anything, a little bit of pity for men. Because now I know the truth. Now I know that at least for some men (most men?) their experience of the erotic is like a shallow pond, while our erotic experience is a vast ocean. I recently read some excerpts from an essay by Audre Lorde called “The Erotic as Power” and in it she says: “In order to perpetuate itself, every oppression must corrupt or distort those various sources of power within the culture of the oppressed that can provide energy for change. For women, this has meant a suppression of the erotic as a considered source of power and information within our lives. We have been taught to suspect this resource, vilified, abused, and devalued within western society. On the one hand, the superficially erotic has been encouraged as a sign of female inferiority; on the other hand, women have been made to suffer and to feel both contemptible and suspect by virtue of its existence. It is a short step from there to the false belief that only by the suppression of the erotic within our lives and consciousness can women be truly strong. But that strength is illusory, for it is fashioned within the context of male models of power.” I have realized that it was not that I was an “abnormal” woman because of the depth and breadth and intensity of erotic feelings within me, but rather that other women had been the victims of this societal (patriarchal) oppression, a suppression of their true erotic power. A power that, on the one hand, men liked (obviously a sex-obsessed man would find a slut very useful and appealing) but perhaps men also feared the intensity of our erotic strength and power, it being a thing beyond their experience of sex, their one-and-done orgasm, their entirely penis-centered conception of and experience of sex, treating it and feeling it and experiencing it as a race to the goal-line, and then a nap. And women….oh our sexuality and our eroticism being so very different, our whole entire bodies being experienced by us as an erogenous zone…men could see this….and fear this. A case in point, how often I have read stories right here on ShyBi of a woman thinking she might explore her desire for a sexual relationship with a woman by a compromise of sorts by agreeing to a threesome with her husband. And then….the husband gets to be an eye witness to the true depth and breadth of the erotic when two women come together, an erotic power only fully and completely realized, I think, when two women are pleasuring each other, a positive feedback loop set in motion where one woman’s erotic strength feeds the other and is then fed back to her in an ever escalating spiral of sensuality and passion, repeating itself again and again as a woman can have what a man cannot, multiple multiple multiple orgasms, an ocean wave crashing again and again upon the beach. He witnesses this. He witnesses the women drenched in sweat, skin flushed bright red, heaving and gasping breaths, a fiery glow in their eyes as the whole world has dropped away from them and there is nothing but exquisite pure waves of sensation crashing over them in their full-body writhing sensual embrace. A man witnesses this….and fear overcomes him. The husband becomes possessive, jealous….resentful. And this experimental threesome breaks apart at the seams, and all of a sudden, the husband is not so happy at all about his wife being bisexual. He fears it. A man who finds himself an eye witness to the Erotic Power of women finds himself feeling threatened, inadequate, and lashes out. Understandably. I am so lucky to be a woman. So grateful and happy to have been born a woman. So very extremely fortunate to be a bisexual woman. And when the men in our lives do not immediately agree to us embarking on a relationship with a woman, when the men in our lives react with anger, when the men in our lives reject even the possibility of considering polyamory…..do not react with anger in kind. Instead, pity them. For all of these reactions are rooted in simple fear. Fear of our Erotic Power. And right they are to fear it, for it is such a tremendous power, that once properly harnessed in all its full depth and breadth, women will change the world. When we harness our passion and use it in everything we do every day, then the last remaining vestiges of patriarchy will be washed away by the sheer force of our erotic wave. The one-and-done orgasm, the penis-centered world will be drowned, and in its place, we will ascend with passion and eroticism and joy, taking our rightful place as keepers of the flame of pure life energy. And then, perhaps, men will come to us to learn, and maybe we can teach a willing pupil a thing or two about what Eroticism really is, and we can raise the open-minded man out of the shallowness he now wallows in. I have a dream, and my dreams are Erotica.
  5. 6 points
    Hey @Storm9 I completely understand where you're coming from. I've been up and down wishing I could just switch it all off or turn back the clock, but it's useless. Like you said, we're all on a journey of our own, so I can only comment based on what I've experienced and where I am now. What you have with her might be a perfect scenario for many married women who are wanting to explore their sexuality. I know I was one of them. If you're both happy in your marriages, or at least not wanting to split up, then having a secondary relationship with someone who understands and respects your situation, might seem ideal. But, as you've discovered, you're monogamous, and it simply doesn't work. I understand, and I've been there myself! But cheating on my husband was awful. It went against everything I believed in and caused problems in my relationship with her, from both sides, because we couldn't be together the way we wanted. The fear of getting caught, the guilt when we saw our husbands and children, the detachment we felt in our marriages. It was all one big mess of emotions.....but I don't regret a second of it. It all had to happen to lead to this point. Now my marriage is ending, and it felt really bad for a long time. It still has it's moments, but it's finally feeling good, for both of us. Maybe it's not meant to fit into your married life. I know it doesn't fit into mine. I want to give my all to one person, and it would be so easy to continue in my marriage. I just don't think I can be happy, or fully committed to him, so I've had to make a choice and give us both a chance to move on. Fortunately I was able to make that decision while my mind was clear, and not clouded with love or infatuation for someone else. That honeymoon phase wears off, so making any decisions when you're in it is a bad idea. It just needed to be me and him, sitting together and picking our relationship apart to see how it led to this point. I don't know what your situation with your husband is, but if he's unaware of your sexuality and relationship, then I would guess that a lot of your emotions are fuelled by what you're keeping from him. To be honest, even if he knows, if you're as unhappy with him as you say, then you're likely to feel equally guilty under both circumstances. You ask how it's supposed to fit into your married life, well maybe it isn't, and you need to make some tough decisions now, about your future. It's not easy to leave a marriage, and as right as it feels, I'm scared. I imagine you both are too. You spend your whole life building what you have, so you can't build a new one overnight, and if there are children involved, it will take even longer, so you have to be patient. Hopefully the two of you can find a way to make it work around your marriages, but I know how hard that is to do. I wouldn't want to drag anyone else into my mess, and I wouldn't expect someone to wait for me, so the single life suits me just fine for now. More importantly, it gives me a chance to find myself again and really decide what I want from a partner and relationship, and it seems like you need to do the same. I'm not saying you should be single. Far from it. This is just my journey. I truly believe you can work this out with the support of a loving partner. If this woman wants to be with you and is making efforts to do so, and if you love her with all your heart and want to be with her, then it will be worth the wait. But if you've lost yourself, the only person that can find you again, is you. You should never rely on anyone else to make you happy. Sometimes we pin all our hopes on someone else, and it's simply not fair on yourself, or them. It just adds unnecessary pressure. Maybe some of what you're feeling right now centres on your marriage and maybe you need to look at that and make a decision on what's best for yourself, not her. None of your decisions should be based on her and her choices. They're yours and yours alone. She is there to enhance your life and hopefully build a new one together should circumstances allow. If you're feeling anger, that's not good. We should never feel that way. Loving and trusting someone, means you have to be vulnerable, and you need to trust her with this if you want it to work. It's how connections happen and it's what brings you closer. Sometimes we feel like we're not worthy of someones love and we look for reasons to believe our insecurities are true, which leads to arguments. You certainly shouldn't be more comfortable feeling anger rather than showing your true feelings, so try and figure out why that's the case. There is nothing wrong with being vulnerable, but anger and arguing doesn't solve anything. As for staying hidden.....is that because you're both married? Or is it something that will always be the case even if you're together exclusively? Do you think your relationship is harmful to you? Is it really entirely on her whether you continue? Or are you afraid of taking control and making the wrong decision? Should a relationship really be this hard? Sorry, lots of questions, but it seems like you have a lot to think about and some serious decisions to make for your future, and your happiness. It will probably be the hardest decision you ever make, so take your time and I promise you'll get there.
  6. 4 points
    I just moved to a new State and I don’t have any friends or family. I’m a wife and stay at home mother. I love my family but I’m so bored when I’m alone. Ive always been really attracted to other women. I mean how could you not be. Our bodies are such a work of art. I would love to explore with another woman, I get turned on by the thought of our skin touching, or simply kissing another women. The perfect person would be in a similar situation i.e in a long term commitment marriage, not looking for an exclusive relationship, and willing to build a platonic friendship to mask the sexual relationship. Im not interested in a “fuck buddy” I want someone I can hang out with, tell my secrets to, have around my family, and theirs alike, all the while living out my secret fantasy. Is that a tall order or are their other women out here looking for the same uncomplicated benefits of a secret relationship?
  7. 4 points
    What a load of crap. I've never been mistreated in Gay spaces for having a male partner and my husband has been welcomed at events with open arms. From Drag shows, to Fetish Nights and even a Gay cruise once. I don't think this is a typical response of the LGBTQ at least not in Canada. Every event and organization I've been a part of allowed allies and straight identified people as well. The LGBT is supposed to be a safe space for everyone. There are arse holes in every community of course but this is a shitty out look .I accept everyone and expect they will treat me the same . As for terms , use whatever works Heteroflexible is probably a term many women could identify with if they were honest with themselves. People are people, just be you. Wear what you want, do what you want , identify how you want, use whatever bathroom makes you comfortable. Whatever consenting adults chose to do its none of anyone's business. Live your life, screw the haters.
  8. 4 points
    I'm open to getting to know someone on here. Just friendship, a little flirty fun and someone to vent to or share with.
  9. 4 points
    It’s not unrealistic. I’m looking for the same thing. Just don’t be a nut. lol
  10. 4 points
    Great question. I am trying very hard to keep my resolve of no nudes online. It is such a terrible idea on many levels. Of course I willingly accept nudes sent to me should you not agree with my notions. ;-P
  11. 4 points
    There are a number of women on shys who have said the same or similar, if we have been with one man for a long time, had children, brought houses, basically grown up together, there is great love and a strong bond there. I too feel that no other man could replace my late hubby and I tend to back off from men these days but still feel ‘Lesbian’ is not the appropriate label for me. Lesbian is often about a lifestyle and extrovert personality that is not me and a scene that I do not belong to. Someone once said, “Labels are for bottles, not people”...
  12. 3 points
    Anyone else getting turned on by these discussions? I discovered this site a few hours ago, and I've been wet ever since! Can't believe I'm even posting this!
  13. 3 points
    We are all travelling along different roads when it comes to our desires and experiences of women. Sometimes I can't help feeling its doing more harm than good, does anyone else feel like this? I know I like women, I'm comfortable with this, but how is it suppose to fit in with my married life? I'm in a relationship with another married woman, however the situation is so difficult the majority of time. I am monogamous, which sounds like a ridiculous thing to say in the situation I'm in, but I am. I am in love with her and I want to give her everything. I don't feel the same feelings for my husband, I don't want him sexually, and I have never felt I can be as open with him as I am with her. I find it extremely difficult navigating the situation. I've basically fallen in love with someone I can't have, and what makes it worse is I feel I have no control over the situation or our relationship. For various reasons I won't go into, it's pretty much down to her about how and if this continues. I haven't been in a situation like this before where I have no control. I feel so vulnerable, and this then causes insecurities and arguments. Anger is a much more comfortable emotion to feel than vulnerability, fear, or helplessness. On top of this, I am now quite comfortable with liking women, and to an extent I am also quite proud of who I am. This is massive for me as its something I struggled alot with in the past. I'm proud of the woman my girlfriend is and I'm proud to be in a relationship with her, but it still has to remain hidden, like it's forbidden. Like we're doing something wrong, which is hard when it feels so right. Obviously I understand the reasons. I just can't help feeling its doing more harm than good. I don't know. I feel like I'm losing myself.
  14. 3 points
    Love reading everyone else’s fantasies. I have the massage fantasy where I’m lying on my front on the table and she massages me and her fingers just accidentally slip inside me, she plays with me like that for a while and the I roll over and she sucks and gently bites my nipples and clit while her fingers are rubbing on my gspot, and then I do her and we end up both naked drenched in oil scissoring....
  15. 3 points
    Happy is the heart that is grateful on a grey day.
  16. 3 points
    Keep Calm and Ramble On
  17. 3 points
    Just wanted to quote that because I think you very concisely hit the nail on the head of something. I have observed this too here at Shy, and to be completely honest, had been tempted to slip into that sort of thinking myself -- that a relationship with a woman would not be a "real affair." It is understandable to fall into that kind of thinking. It is just all part of human psychology, I think, that when we desperatately desire/need something, we are quite capable of twisting ourselves into quite a pretzel of "self-justification." It is important to stop, take a deep breath, take a step back and think through some basic serious questions: What do I really want? Why do I want it? And most importantly, how does/will the other person feel about all of this? You owe that yourself and you owe it to others. So if one wants to avoid "regrets in how you came out to your husband/boyfriend", I would say first think a good long while about those three questions, and then proceed to wherever your answers to those questions then take you -- with your eyes wide open, and with full empathy and understanding for the feelings of others (both the man currently in your life, and the woman you wish to bring into your life) and be prepared to accept the full consequences all the way around.
  18. 3 points
    This thread has been really helpful for me. I am happily married and want to continue that way so despite the fact that I do identify as bi, going beyond the fantasy of exploring something with a woman just doesn't sit 100% comfortably with me. I think if I have chemistry with someone I'm prone to want to give them my all. As much as I'd like to think there's room for another in my life, I am sure I'd become conflicted and make myself unhappy in one or other relationship. Also I'm really rubbish at understanding women, I'm pretty straight forward and uncomplicated but even in friendships I find women to be complex and hard to read. The feeling that I might end up falling down the rabbit hole and make a complete mess of everything has kept me from pursuing anything but casual friendships for mutual banter and support.
  19. 3 points
    @Androgynygrl your anger and frustration are justified. I only moved to us because of love only few years ago. In many ways it is a beautiful country with a lot of wonderful people. At the same time it is a country full of contradictions and there are things I find very disturbing including the things you described about the military. Too much blind veneration and callous use of the army coupled with little meaningful care! For example there are so many "We support our troops" signs and calls to collect used clothes for the vets... In the richest country in the history of the world stuff like this seems almost like an insult. I often get the feeling a lot of it is just virtue signaling and about making people feel good about themselves than really helping the vets!
  20. 3 points
    I'm alone in the room currently. She'd be all mine, no sharing.
  21. 3 points
    Labels, love them or hate them the world wants everyone to fit neatly in a box and it's rarely the reality . I'm far more lesbian than bisexual but I've been married for 23yrs to a man, so explain that one? I find men simple and compliments from them are shallow and mean nothing to me. From my experience a man will say anything to get laid so when I man says you're pretty, my first reaction is whatever you'd screw a grass snake if you could, your words mean nothing to me. When a woman compliments me I take it as genuine because women struggle more with flirting so when they do I assume they mean it. Maybe that's my own skewed perception based on experience. I know I'd never be with a man again if I wasn't committed to this relationship . Men are just too predatory and I'd never feel safe with another one . I guess my label is Lesbian with a one dick exemption .LOL
  22. 3 points
    I haven’t visited this forum for a long while but I just want to say a huge thank you to this forum and all the ladies here. I first joined shybi after finding it on a desperate google search for answers. I was married with two children but desperately unhappy. We were together for 11 years since I was a teenager. I’d never really felt attracted to men but followed the status quo and had NO idea I might like women instead until one took my breath away and I began searching for answers. That didn’t work out... but I’ll cut to the ending... I’m now out as gay not even bi! have been with my fiancée for 4 years and getting married next year, she’s a wonderful step mum to my children and I couldn’t be happier! My reason for posting is so that any other women in my situation can see that sometimes it all comes good, go with your gut. Thanks again ladies x
  23. 3 points
    My fantasy includes seducing a stranger without knowing her sexual orientation. Being intimate discretely in public while no one knows Giving a woman ive only met an unexpected full body massage Rooftop makeout session Rolplay with handcuffs
  24. 3 points
    @Suddenlychasingrainbows I can 100% share in your feelings, its almost as if I am reading my words 10+ years ago. At that time, I didn't know that I had feelings for women until one came into my life and made me see it. I cheated on my husband with her. I told him and it took us a long time to get back to somewhere "good". We stayed together as I did not want to leave the relationship for the sake of the kids. He and I get along great and don't fight much, so why turn everyone's worlds upside down for one woman that shook my world around? Now, 10+ years later, and many questions left unanswered, I find myself having the same feelings and attractions towards women. Our kids are a bit older (19, 15, 10)...but not old enough to where I am ready to stir their world around. I know people say you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy or good for anyone else...but in my case, separating this family is never going to make me happy.
  25. 3 points
    @Mariazena178 and @these-broken-wings(TBW) - Why in the world would you assume that sex with a woman per se would automatically be earth-shattering? Or that women are interchangeable, and that therefore sex with one would be as good as with another (such as with a woman with whom you are in love)? At the risk of stating the obvious, a woman, like a man, is a human being, and, as I have said here on Shy many, many times before, should not be regarded as a sex object that will make all of your dreams come true, regardless of who she is, and your interpersonal chemistry with her. You aren't necessarily going to have amazing sex together just because she's female and you've been fantasizing about having sex with a woman for a very long time (and especially not if you've never been with a woman before, so lack any experience in that regard). I hate to say it, but this kind of mythologizing is reminiscent of teenage boys who spend copious amounts of time in their bedroom, masturbating to porn and longing for the day that they will finally get to have sex with a real live woman... While fantasizing is part of human nature, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that, such intense longing can...and often does...lead to the sexual objectification of women, by both men and women. So, next time you contemplate your high expectations of sex with women in general, consider where those expectations are coming from...and try to get a grip on reality.
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