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Showing content with the highest reputation since 03/23/2019 in all areas

  1. 10 points
    @Mariazena178 and @these-broken-wings(TBW) - Why in the world would you assume that sex with a woman per se would automatically be earth-shattering? Or that women are interchangeable, and that therefore sex with one would be as good as with another (such as with a woman with whom you are in love)? At the risk of stating the obvious, a woman, like a man, is a human being, and, as I have said here on Shy many, many times before, should not be regarded as a sex object that will make all of your dreams come true, regardless of who she is, and your interpersonal chemistry with her. You aren't necessarily going to have amazing sex together just because she's female and you've been fantasizing about having sex with a woman for a very long time (and especially not if you've never been with a woman before, so lack any experience in that regard). I hate to say it, but this kind of mythologizing is reminiscent of teenage boys who spend copious amounts of time in their bedroom, masturbating to porn and longing for the day that they will finally get to have sex with a real live woman... While fantasizing is part of human nature, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that, such intense longing can...and often does...lead to the sexual objectification of women, by both men and women. So, next time you contemplate your high expectations of sex with women in general, consider where those expectations are coming from...and try to get a grip on reality.
  2. 5 points
    I came out to my husband last week. It was definitely the scariest thing I've ever done in my life, and he was AMAZING about it. It's funny because I freaked out immediately after I told him and he was the calm one lol He said that something in the back of his mind always wondered if I liked women, but he dismissed it which surprised me. He knows me better than anyone ever has though so I probably shouldn't have been too surprised. He said he was happy I told him and told me that he loved me no matter what. That same night we talked about my struggles with my identity, women I've had feelings for in the past, and which celebrities I find attractive. It was very, very surreal to have a conversation about those things out loud. I've been pestering him and asking if he's still ok every other day lol I just want to keep the line of communication open and told him that I will answer any question he has 100% honestly and not to hold back if he has any or if he's feeling weird about anything. It's all still pretty fresh, but things have already started to feel "normal" if that makes sense. I'm really seeing our relationship in a whole new light, and we're definitely the happiest we've been in a long time.
  3. 4 points
    Congrats to Lori Lightfoot! The new Mayor of Chicago, an African-American woman and openly lesbian! The third largest city in America now has a lesbian Mayor.
  4. 4 points
    I've been on the site for a couple of days, and already feel I've found the right place to be. Its only the last few months, when my best friend came out to me as gay, I was able to express to him my desires towards women. I have never so much as kissed a woman, and never heard of the phrase bicurious before, but by his own revelations, has given me the confidence to explore how I feel. My husband and I aren't really close any more, and now my kids are getting to the age where they don't need mum, its time to concentrate on me.
  5. 4 points
    I was at a 2 day Continuing Ed conference. Due to congested traffic, I arrived late and had to take a seat up near the front. The girl I seat next to was nice. As the conference unfolded . we shared notes and compared practices at our individual clinics. After the end of the first day, we both went on our on way for dinner. That night I was bored and went down from my room in the hotel to the bar. The saw was super crowded, after looking around I spied a seat at the bar and went to take it. As I sat down I noticed for the first time that the woman sitting next to me happened to be the same lady I had sat next to at that days conference. Over a couple of drinks,we began talking, first about the today's CE sessions, then about our nursing experiences and about our families. As it became late and we each settled up our bills, I took a deep breath, swallowed hard and asked if she might want to come up to my room for a night cap. She ended up staying all night and the next night as well. She and I have been friends and lovers ever since.
  6. 4 points
    I think there is actually more agreement here than disagreement between all parties – and I believe seeming disagreement arises from a “misunderstanding of terms”. In this case the key term “objectify.” I believe @BenedettaC was dead on right that both men and women objectify women, but that is because of my understanding of what objectify means. And I believe, @these-broken-wings(TBW), you feeling that she was personally “attacking” you (and she wasn’t really) came from your understanding of what objectify means, as I think you attach a harsher connotation to the term, and viewing it as such, her words might indeed sound to you like an uncalled-for terrible personal attack. Or such is my perspective as a third party looking in. So, we have to define our terms. To engage in anticipatory sexual fantasies is, by definition, to objectify. So I disagree just very slightly with you there @myladylove, though I do understand as well exactly what you are saying. I would say that both men and women engage in objectification. Men are certainly rather more expert at it, more commited to it, engage in it quite a bit more often, and over the course of the history of society, managed to institutionalize and normalize “objectification of women” – the Miss America pageant, Playboy magazine, etc etc etc ad infinitum. But if a bisexual or lesbian woman should, by chance, gaze at a picture of some lovely lovely lady, (whom we know nothing about, other than that she is lovely) admiring her figure, and begin (dare I put it crassly?) to drool just a bit – well, technically, how dare we excuse ourselves and declare “oh, but we are not like men.” We are not like men in the degree and preponderance of it, but we do still do it. So, I have objectified women. Because I have fantasized about women. I have never, in the real world, actually had the opportunity to engage in a sexual relationship with a woman. But there is no doubt in my own mind, since there is no doubt I have over the years certainly been that “teenage boy masturbating to porn and dreaming of the day…..” (grimace, ouch, but it is true).... that were I to have sex with a woman……well, I would have set myself up for disappointment due to the intensity of my fantasies, and so the only question would be, would it be just mildly disappointing or hugely disappointing and a total disaster? And it would be nobody’s fault but my own. But – and this is important – it is a forgivable fault. Objectification is not a crime, it is just a trap of our own making and the means by which we cause ourselves pain. You are 100% right @these-broken-wings(TBW) that we should “try to understand the other person’s perspective.” But, that is a two-way street. So does everyone see what I mean when I say I think we all here are actually more in agreement than not, and that the seeming disagreement or hurt feelings has more to do with misunderstanding of terms and misunderstanding of perspectives? Such is my view, anyway.
  7. 4 points
    I agree with Bendetta on this one. Fantasy is never the same as reality, that's why it's called fantasy. I think in order to have the mind blowing sex you've been told about and read about, you need to have a connection and chemistry with the person you're with. You have a connection with your husband so it's satisfying like it should be. The reason why my first experience with a woman went so well is because we had that connection and that chemistry. I wasn't sure how it would go for me the first time but it was amazing and I wrote about that experience in my blog. Some women can have great first time sexual experiences with other women and not have that connection, especially if it's just sex to them, but that's not the norm. Hope this helps
  8. 4 points
    I think honestly it depends on the expectations thats brought into it.. if you have high expectations before you experience something new theres a chance of being let down. my first time with my gf..was my first time with a woman ever and it was amazing not that I had expectation but I was with the person I loved and It was both of our first times. We remained open minded and thats what all mattered. I hope you both have better luck with future women.
  9. 3 points
    I've never actually been with a girl, but it's almost all I can think about! I have so many fantasies of public hook ups, oral sex, and the such. Is this only me? I need somebody to teach me/help me learn, or even just to talk to!
  10. 3 points
    So, remember that chick who ghosted me? You do? Good Because I saw her at the grocery store on Friday My mom and I were up at the grocery store on Friday and we ran into my aunt at the one entrance so we stood off to the side to chat, as you do. Well, after we were done, my mom wanted to pick something up from the small display that was down by the self checkouts so I went to follow her with the cart. Nothing weird... ...until I looked up to see ex-lady friend. To be honest, I probably wouldn't have even really noticed her except she had very obviously spotted me and was working extremely hard to blend in with the distinctly crowd-less area she was in. I mean I was worried she'd give herself neck damage with how hard she had her head turned to the side and that she might run into the wall for not looking where she was going. Part of me was a bit shocked that she was going to such lengths to avoid me. What? Did she think I was going to invade her personal space and bother her? Because if that's what she thought, I'm also a bit offended. I am a grown woman capable of respecting people's choices. I wouldn't bother someone who has made it clear that they don't want anything to do with me. Another part of me thought this was hilarious. Because, honey, don't think that I need to chase after you. You're nice and all but I'm not going to bend over backwards to impress someone who doesn't want me. And maybe it's a bit mean of me, but I'm (not so) secretly enjoying this little encounter because I think being starkly reminded that just because you ghost someone doesn't mean you won't see them around town is a fitting reward for not having the balls to handle a situation like this like an adult.
  11. 3 points
    I have not been able to stop thinking about what it would be like to be with a woman. I've had these thoughts before but just recently have I actually wanted to know what it would be like in reality. The thought of being naked with another female turns me on so much. I have found myself searching for pictures of breasts often, and thinking about how much I would like to kiss and touch them, and have mine touched by a woman. I'm still not sure I would ever want to really act on it - I'm married - but the thoughts are so good.
  12. 3 points
  13. 3 points
    “Dance is the hidden language of the soul.” Martha Graham Brie Larson and Rooney Mara in Tanner Hall (2009)
  14. 3 points
    My thought is ... what if some people just don't pair up so well? This could be true for any pairing, regardless of gender. I wouldn't define myself by one experience, or even one pairing. Unless you found great meaning in that experience or coupling. I think we're all different in so many ways. Worth mentioning is that we should never settle for less than we deserve, less than we want. So if your first experience didn't 'wow' you, I'd suggest to keep looking for the connection that gives you what you want.
  15. 3 points
    I have not read the book , but have grown up in the Church and with a very close relationship with God . I don’t believe all the church views or interpretations , as the Church is man created and has morphed throughout history . I take what I need for my spirit and leave the rest . I do believe Jesus came to show love and tolerance to all . Love is love regardless of gender , race , or culture . It is man who sets restrictions on love not God . This is my opinion and everyone has their own take . I respect others even if I don’t agree and hopefully they too will respect my views .
  16. 3 points
    I’m definitely not going to judge you ...until I met a woman online I now I have feelings for and got to share a couple of intimate days with her I’d never have thought I’d be that person who could cheat in their husband. But now I honestly think If i could just see her on occasion and my husband never find out I’d be happy with that
  17. 3 points
    What's the boldest thing you've ever done to hook up with a guy or girl you were interested in? I don't think I've ever been so bold really but I did have a ("straight") friend that I found attractive. We'd never talked about my status really and one day, we were at her house chatting and she was complaining about not getting enough (referring to dicks) so I took the opportunity to tell her that I'd be happy to help her out. Soon after that she had the first girl/girl experience she didn't even know she was looking for. How about you guys - any interesting stories?
  18. 3 points
    I’m a little confused as to what you were expecting, being that it was new and also, that encounters with males aren’t always “earth shattering.” What was it that had you expecting more? My first few sexual encounters with men were alright. Actually, that goes for most of my male encounters (in the past) with the exception of serious relationships (and 13 year marriage) or the one or two guys who took the time to ask me how I liked to f-ck. My first few experiences with women were the same, but there was more emotion involved in it for me. That’s what set it apart. I usually orgasmed with my husband, as well. Just took a while for me to find the right match (w/a woman) and I didn’t really have any expectations going into it (mostly, because it was new and I had nothing to compare it to). For the sake of curiosity, I looked up sexual objectification: Description Sexual objectification is the act of treating a person as a mere object of sexual desire. Objectification more broadly means treating a person as a commodity or an object without regard to their personality or dignity. ———————————————————- Do I objectify? I’d say that’s limited to Instagram models, porn, and an occasional jaunt to the strip club. In real life? No and I’ve done my best to watch how I speak about/treat women. And if someone speaks like that around me in my everyday world (tone/intent/choice of words are everything), I will always voice my displeasure and a discussion will be had. Then again, I’ve become more and more particular to the energy of the people I choose to have in my life and also who I choose to exchange sexual energy with.
  19. 3 points
    Welcome @Chelle and @Tess004 and @Mariazena178! You've come to the perfect place to explore those feelings.
  20. 3 points
    I met and married my wife i met on here. We was both Moderators on shys. :)
  21. 3 points
    Other married (or those in a relationship) tend to understand the situation when you want to stay married but also have some female intimacy.
  22. 2 points
  23. 2 points
    Hmm I haven’t read the book but I have read and studied with similar discussions way, way back then. I had a fair share of jumping from one belief system to another in my spiritual journey. I was exposed to both sides of the world and became each of them at different times: non-believer versus believer of the existence of God. In the end, I found where I should be and I’ve been happy since then. I am Catholic and proud of being one. Not because of the whole dogma but because it has given me a solid foundation as a human being. Inside of the system, was where I had gained my own virtues and principles which helped me grew as good person. All in all, I had a great experience with it compared to others. Even if I cannot reconcile my sexuality with the Catholic belief, I am not bothered, guilty or resentful. After struggling, I’ve realised and accepted that they couldn’t be reconciled. One is a a dogma and the other is nature. Thus, I am no longer a practicing Catholic (not abiding with all of sacraments) and it’s my choice. However, like @contessmed, I have a strong close inner relationship with God. And whatever I do or feel, I ask guidance and direction because I believe in God as a friend, not the punitive one. This is my choice. Some people believe that you have to be pure in thoughts and mind. This is what being chaste is all about. There are a lot of readings in this belief based all the way back to the teaching of St. Augustine. But like any other teachings, they are open to different interpretations and that’s where the problem begins.
  24. 2 points
    Just to follow up we met again on Thursday, went for lunch nothing too fancy and a little shopping trip after which we went back to hers. We talked, talked & talked some more then had the most incredible sex. Loved every minute of it & can't stop thinking about her.
  25. 2 points
    I'm not one for liking too much hair. Well groomed every time. Hair free, even better.
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