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Showing content with the highest reputation on 07/12/2017 in all areas

  1. 12 points
    I was married about 4 years and we went to a martini bar with a friend of ours. Both my husband and our friend Mike kept saying our cocktail waitress was hitting on me. Whatever...boys and their imaginations! So I got up to go to the bathroom and she walked in shortly after. Coincidence I was sure of it, washed my hands and went back to our table. A couple more martinis and another trip back to the bathroom but this time she stopped me short of walking in and made small talk, told me she liked my outfit and then followed me in. When I came out of the stall she was standing by the door. There was another woman in the bathroom with us and she washed her hands and left. Okay, it was obvious at this point. I washed my hands and as I was walking out, pretty nervous at this point, she stopped me, kissed me and then handed me her number. Needless to say I drank a few more before we left... i really didn't know what to think and it was a little over a month before I had the courage to call her. She was a lesbian and had no problem easing me into a whole new world with her. She never pushed me and she said I could set the pace....like I knew what in the hell my pace was! Sometimes I was completely scared and confused by the whole thing and other days, when I didn't over think it, it was amazing. I will say initially I had a harder time giving than receiving but I got over that pretty quickly when I realized she was not "judging my performance".
  2. 7 points
    For myself I have always been attracted to both men and women. Men for sexual relationships and women for an emotional relationship. I honestly hadn't given much thought about being with a woman until after we were married. I have never been dissatisfied with my marriage and the sex is good but a few years after getting married I started to find women sexually attractive. I had a few brief experiences with women in my mid twenties and then I got busy with life and settled in to a monogamous relationship with my husband. Now I am approaching 50 and I feel like I am starting all over again and wanting the touch of a woman again. My husband and I have talked about it and although he would love to find another woman to join us, he knows I am the one that needs to fill the void that I have. Sometimes I feel like we are so busy labeling and placing experiences in a box that we forget the human side of things. I am a woman that desires the closeness from my husband, the warm touch of a woman, I am a mom, I am Christian, I am a survivor of my childhood, I am unique and I embrace each one in this journey called life.
  3. 6 points
    @Leopard it took a few dates for me to get much further than heavy kissing which in hindsight was amazing. All too often when we are dating there is such a rush to have "mind blowing sex" and when you look back it is usually less than awesome. Because she let me be nervous and take it slow, the sexual tension for both of us made it almost explosive. There is a lot to be said for taking your time to smell the roses...
  4. 6 points
    If you two are seeking a third, I would HIGHLY recommend both of you read The Ethical Slut by Dossie Eaton before you start your search. It'll spark some really good and important conversations between you two, and help you avoid the very common mistakes many of us learned the hard way. Does your husband think he can avoid jealousy by being involved? If so, he's in for a rude awakening. Jealousy can crop up in any circumstance. How do YOU feel about him being involved? Do you think he's just trying to fulfill a fantasy of his? Do you WANT him there? Would you be able to be alone with her? Is that what you'd want? Would HE be alone with her? What about HER preferences? Would you want a relationship, something where you're all equals, something where you see her occasionally, something where she's able to date others? There are a lot of options, and there's a lot to think about. Also consider what she would be risking being the third invited into the couple. If anything goes wrong, she is likely the one kicked out, because you two have the marriage vow. You two have history, and she's stepping in later in the story. You two are together when she goes home at the end of the day/weekend/morning. You two get to have sex with each other anytime you want, whereas she is only there sometimes, and she may even get jealous of that! (my ex-GF was this way with my ex-husband and me) Back to your original question, I think you need to sort out your internalized homophobia before you pursue anyone else. It's hard to overcome what years and years of religion have taught you, but it can be done. Are there any support groups for LGBT members of your religion in your area? Even on here, we see posts about being bisexual and religious. I think especially when you break outside of monogamy, that adds another element of shame to the whole thing, even if it's consensual. Be careful about sending pics to anyone you haven't verified is who they say they are. Many "women" are looking to have sexual chats or Kik conversations with another woman, but aren't who they say they are (most are men). Ask to voice verify or Skype or something. Many of us have been burned before with that. Try not to stress about your family's views on your sexual journey. Do you really want to know what they are all into sexually? Probably not! And I can't imagine every single one of them are performing God's work in the missionary position with only pure thoughts and intentions. Just saying.
  5. 5 points
    It was amazing... it was after a slow and steady month build of getting comfortable with each other. It was unplanned and unexpected which added to the excitement. We had went out for a couple of beers and then decided to park the car on some residential block for some kissing. Well..... one thing led to the next and we were in the back of my truck...and that's how I lost my girlginity and it was hot!
  6. 4 points
    My first time was totally unexpected. It was our first meeting face to face but we didn't want to leave each other's company. We were both waiting for the other to make the first move. Through my body language she knew what I wanted and kissed me first. It was an instant connection for me. I asked her if she wanted to come back to my hotel room and she did. For me I always imagine we would both be so nervous I wouldn't know where to start. It wasn't like that with her. Everything felt so natural. We both had never been with another woman. Once she gave me permission, didn't want to do anything she was uncomfortable with I took control. It was amazing. It is something I will never regret. I'm glad she was the first girl I was ever with. It couldn't have been more perfect.
  7. 4 points
    The female bisexual mafia made me do it.
  8. 4 points
    Hell is a hard thing to get over. It niggled at me for a long time after I stopped identifying as Christian and definitely contributed to my lack of sexual exploration prior to ending up in a heterosexual marriage. I think it's tough when you grow up with Christianty (and hell) as the default. For me, I never really believed in Christianity. I clearly remember questioning at age 6. But, at the same time, it was the paradigm I grew up in, and therefore hard to disregard entirely. What helped for me was recognizing that modern Christianity is a political construct, that a literal interpretation of the Bible really doesn't make much sense, and that Pascal's Wager is a false dichotomy.
  9. 4 points
    I never labeled myself as bisexual until a few years ago because I'd never wanted to have sex with a woman before her. My sexual relationship with her began a few years ago. My husband is aware of it and so is her fiancé. They are both ok with it. She knows what my relationship with my husband is like. Talking with him is rather useless because he doesn't get it. He doesn't feel a need for intimacy like I do. Sex is a basic need, like hunger, for him. He's horny- we have sex and then that's it. I crave cuddling, deep long kisses, and tenderness. I crave someone touching me with longing and desire...not because they are immediately ready to stick a penis in me. Those are just things he isn't willing to do. Maybe it's a good point that meeting her was the catalyst to awaken the bisexuality that has always been inside me. I never liked lesbian porn until I began fantasizing about sex with her. I keep seeing articles that say women get increasingly bisexual as they grow older. I guess it just isn't logical to me that this desire suddenly occurred and hasn't always been latent.
  10. 4 points
    Regarding some of the comments on penis hygiene and looks.......Practicing good hygiene whether your female or male is critical in preventing or spreading diseases or infections. I know my husband practices good hygiene by pulling his foreskin back while he's showering he evens uses my feminine wash when he washes his penis. He even retracts the foreskin when he pees so there no lingering urine trapped under the foreskin. Regarding the visual aspect I've seen women that have pussies that aren't the best looking but that doesn't distract from them looking sexy. It's all a matter of accepting people regardless of looks for who they are....... If guy treats me with respect and honesty then that's some of what's most attrative to me and not if he's circumcised or not.
  11. 3 points
    My first time I was 18 and satisfying my curiosity. I found a couple I felt comfortable with. It definitely confirmed for me that I was into women! I couldn't wait to do it again, even though she wasn't the greatest at "all the things". My first time alone with a woman was... magic. We had awesome chemistry, and it was WAY overdue.
  12. 3 points
    Darn did I miss these items on Amazon Prime Day?!
  13. 3 points
    Google linked me up after my "awakening" a few months back as I was lookin for a community of like-minded women in a similar situation. A place where not only you could fully relax and feel at home, (walk around in your sweats with no make up on and not be judged type deal,...just fully be your authentic self), but also a place to learn from other woman either ones with more experience or even less with a different view point!
  14. 3 points
    Like many of you, I have made myself crazy with this exact "which came first" question. I constantly wonder if my biness causes marital problems (sexual and otherwise) , or if my marriage causes biness. I became attracted to women "out of nowhere"at 45, and initially presumed it was because of marital issues. We've worked hard and things have improved, but the attraction to women remains just as fierce. @Cute&Curious, maybe we are looking for women, not men because we unconsciously sense that the issues we're having with our husbands would apply to all men, or most men. It's all a big juicy delicious mystery.
  15. 3 points
    One thing that threw me with women was that I was into fewer women, but the women I was into, it was WAY more intense than anything I'd ever felt for a guy. I'm guessing that's similar to your experience. And when sleeping with a woman, I am insatiable. I can't get enough!
  16. 3 points
    I knew I was into women when I was 18, and came out as gay at 25, but went back to men out of frustration and met my ex-husband at 27, and then we separated when I was 34. It's women only for me at this point. Left for reasons not associated with my sexuality. I think the intimacy between two women is generally more tender and affectionate than between a man and a woman (there are certainly exceptions). I, too, have read that more women become more bisexual as we get older. It sounds like you were always bisexual, but maybe didn't recognize it for what it was? I know I didn't realize some of the crushes I had were crushes until much later. It always felt different from what I felt for guys. It sounds like you are dealing with two separate issues. Sex is associated with intimacy for some people, but not for others, and it can be hard when you try to mix two people together who don't feel the same way about it. If you have another sexual partner, would you be happier in your marriage? There's a great book you might consider reading called The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It may just be that you two don't speak the same love language, and you don't understand each other's language. Reading that might help you two suss out what you need to feel loved. It might be something to help save your marriage before calling it a bust.
  17. 2 points
    Smooth or little hair and that goes for both men and women. I prefer waxing as you don't get the razor stubble feeling.
  18. 2 points
    Best 24hrs ever, finally meeting my girl and spolit rotten just wish we could do the whole day again and again and again on repeat xxx Thank you my baby @Beaulieu1 Countdown to sept starts xxx
  19. 2 points
    Whips, chains and lube by the gallon?
  20. 2 points
    My first time was with someone who was experienced. She basically took control and it was a nice first time. We didn't end up seeing each other for long because we didn't feel that connection but I'm happy I had the experience.
  21. 2 points
    Minimalism is the key not even kidding, keep it simple @cre8yourf8 I don't get anything like that, I mean I can flirt and if I've been intimate then maybe something will cross my mind worth sharing, but some people manage to get off doing it with people they've never met nor ever will and yet they love it! I just think you've gotta be really bored or desperate. I mostly used to be the one in control of the narratives cos others were too tame and I guess I didn't really feel like we were sexually compatible even at a distance!
  22. 2 points
    Awesome! it confirmed all my feelings and helped me to accept my sexuality as a natural and ok thing... one of the most mentally healthy things I've ever experienced. I now am out of a bad marriage and in a wonderful relationship with an incredible woman!
  23. 2 points
    Thank you for sharing. That was also an erotic encounter. Something I think would like to happen to me:)
  24. 2 points
    Watching 13 Reasons on Netflix at 2 a.m., pretending like I don't have a shit load of stuff to do tomorrow.
  25. 2 points
    First... I love that you posted this topic! Thank you. Second... Yes.. I agree don't let others define you. To me you are just " as much" bisexual having no experience with men than the women on here who are bisexual having no experience with other women. Really it matters not what others think. Though we must recognize the effect of feeling accepted or not in a community. The best thing I believe you can do for yourself is understand and accept what makes you the most happy in that realm. And Im so happy you don't want to play the " gay enough" game. Its a bullshit game and no different from trying to fit into any box sexually in my opinion. There is a whole spectrum of sexual terms Im not familiar with but I know they are out there and maybe research them and see what feels right for you if you think a need a label. But I say just figure it out as you go, do what makes you happy ethically of course and let it be. Read on if you want my personal experience so far.. otherwise.. that's all I got and thank you again for this topic. Personally. I struggled a great deal with my sexuality. Not because I ever felt ashamed with my true bisexuality. But because it was still so hard to bloody pick one! And for a time I didn't pick one. I identified as poly. I am not. And I also have failed at open relationship type dynamics. I have been in two closed triads. One worked well and One did not. I have miserably tried monogamy with my husband. Because I loved him and our children. That was ugly, and we are many years divorced now. I also struggled with the social aspects of my job and having children and if it was okay to be out dating women. For many years I felt I fit into NO box having NO circle and had NO people, lovers family or the like.. who really accepted me and my orientation. It was the classic and horrific dynamic. My straight friends where creeped out by my lesbian side and my lesbian friends where grossed out by my genuine sexual attraction to men. Lovers NEVER trusted me.. ( honestly that was warranted. on their part.. eek!. sorry guys..) I felt very out of place and like I was lying to both groups of lesbians and straight people and lovers alike and these where people close to me. And I don't really know any other openly bisexual people. It was a very heart breaking number of years for me. And I judged myself very harshly for feeling like I could not be faithful to one orientation or the other. I hated myself for being so unfaithful to each orientation and also to many people. Because I really wanted to be on one side of the fence or the other...so bad! It was a true struggle and a painful conflicted one at that. I wanted so badly to express how I felt and genuinely responded sexually to the different PEOPLE I came into contact with regardless of course of gender. I will say almost a little over a year ago now.. that struggle was finally laid to rest. I had to get older. I had to prioritize what I really wanted for my sex life, for my children , for my career and for the life I truly could live to be happiest Once I turned around my thinking on monogamy and my personal sexual orientation.. and being OUT everything else sort of fell into place. Things are not without struggle... or conflict but the inner conflict and self guilt has been gone for some time now. And I feel so much happier. Don't let others define you, don't try to fit in any boxes. Give yourself the freedom to ethically feel and love whoever and however it feels truest to you. Its your life.
  26. 2 points
    My crushes for women were powerful, but they were always on women I didn't know well and admired from afar. I always wrote those crushes off to being those of a school girl admiring someone who had qualities I wanted. I do recall a twinge of jealousy when those girls had boyfriends. That's somewhat telling. But what about my very real, very deep desire for penises? I don't crave sex with women, in general. I only crave it with ONE woman. I love sex with men. Is that because society has told me that's what I should like? I don't think so, but I wonder if I did repress my sexual feelings for women. I guess this comes back to the argument that being bisexual doesn't mean a person doesn't equally desire men and women. I do have one memory I spent years trying to forget because I was ashamed of it...when I was 9, a female friend spent the night. We ended up mutually masturbating each other with our legs between the other's legs and closed-mouthed kissing. We were playing house and pretending to be husband and wife. Perhaps I've always been bisexual and just didn't know it... The lack of intimacy between me and my husband has always been an issue. He is definitely not someone who needs the deeper connection, like I do. Sex with her is amazing. There is so much more kissing (I hardly kiss him at all during sex) and so much more caressing and cuddling.
  27. 2 points
    For some it's a very natural and straightforward path to acceptance for others it's far more difficult and often largely influenced by what you've been raised to believe and what you have to deal with day-to-day. I largely dated men for the early part of my sexual life and even when I discovered a desire for women, it was still easier to date men in every aspect, largely because they were available and came without the conflict against social norms. However, I've always been and will always be flowing in the spectrum regardless of relationships. When something comes to you so naturally you shouldn't dismiss it, doing that only creates tension. Trust me, I had no problem casually being with women after my early relationships with them passed on, but I struggled finding meaning and my relationships with guys also suffered the same fate as a result of me trying to section myself off. Don't be afraid of others and more importantly don't be afraid of yourself. I was afraid of hurting people even if it was just from mentioning my sexuality. Attraction is something that flows and changes through life whether you're bi or not. It's just when you are the shift gives you a whole new playing field and opportunities that are often new, scary and untraditional. My life got a lot more interesting and I was happier when I came to accept that I am just attracted to the person and their gender isn't the reason I want to be closer to them. Take it a day at a time and don't allow your own shames or fears stop you from being guided by your heart cos that will bring more positivity into your life than just romance, it'll allow you to connect and that's one of the best things in the world. Let yourself just be. It's the only advice I can give. Don't discount anyone.
  28. 1 point
  29. 1 point
  30. 1 point
    I just quoted you in a post and actually read your username properly and figured out what it says.. yeah I'm really observant
  31. 1 point
    I think the phrase 'setting the pace' is really significant. So often we and thinking especially about women exert suble or not so subtle pressure. That was a really great story on so many levels
  32. 1 point
    Interesting topic. I have not had an encounter but I always wonder what it would be like. I am sure there will be lots of mixed emotions. The one I worry about the most is guilt.
  33. 1 point
    I was 12, bad experience and never wanted it to happen again but it did only because I could not fight back. Once I moved away from home I honestly thought if it never happened again that would be fine with me. Then I met a man that I absolutely fell head over heals for and it was an amazing experience. I am still in touch with him, strictly as friends now but he knows he holds a very special place in my heart. Today, I get kind of cranky if it doesn't happen a couple times a week or more and it doesn't really matter if it is alone or with my husband.
  34. 1 point
  35. 1 point
    @HulaHoop444. It's great that you figured out what you want. Your mother's views on homosexuality must be hard for you. I hope that when you do come out to her it goes better than you think or at least gets better as time goes by.
  36. 1 point
    @dinolover I would say don't let others define you, or who you are attracted to. I have no sexual experience with women, so maybe I'm the wrong person to comment. I find it difficult to understand why lesbian women would expect women to love/be attracted to only women to be acceptable. Why, in this day and age, we still put restrictions on people and who they love is hard to understand. I don't care if someone is gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual, or anything else. I could fall in love person A, and fall out of love with person A. . Who I love or care for next is no one's business but mine. It should be the same for everyone. I wish I had that freedom. It's unfortunate that we can't just love whomever we want, and not have to worry about being judged in a negative way.
  37. 1 point
    Hi! I just want to say "Good for you for being true to yourself!" I really hope your mom wouldn't disown you. Ultimately, you are who you are and her feelings and attitude, though deeply hurtful, can't change that. Best of luck in seeking a partner and cats