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Showing content with the highest reputation since 07/21/2018 in Blog Entries

  1. 6 points
    I wish that some people could understand what it's like to be an introvert. Then maybe, just maybe, when I have a hard time wanting to go out anywhere, they will know the things they are saying is making things 10 times worse. I do NOT need to be told I'm irrational in my thinking, or I'm going to miss out on a good time. Don't you think I know I'm going to miss out on life and experiences? I don't need those comments. Or being told I'm a boring and un-fun person who likes to do nothing. My "nothing" is what grounds me. I need my nothing or I will go crazy. So please, just stop.
  2. 3 points
    Your magic Your friend A place you can hide Your soulmate Your shoulder to cry on The one you have been waiting for all your life Your lover Your home A place where you belong Your miracle Your bestfriend Your rock The love of your life Your biggest fan Your hope Your miracle The one you can rely on Your one chance Your everything Nothing... If you pass me by.
  3. 2 points
    A woman looking at The Sleepers by Gustave Courbet - source unknown The previous blog post in this series ended with a brief description of the The Sleepers which many feel is one of the most important LGBpaintings in history for the honest and sympathetic depiction of same-sex sexuality. This post reviews the artistic environment of works featuring women with women produced around the time that Courbet painted The Sleepers. Women Bathing at the Brook - Ferdinand Georg Waldmuller (1848) Many paintings were produced in the 17th to 19th century depicting a group of young women bathing together, usually naked, for the pleasure of male viewers. Often the bathers are shown in languid poses suggesting ready availability for the viewer(s) but here Waldmuller shows the women interested in something that has happened beyond the edge of the painting creating some mystery and tension. Courage, Anxiety and Despair: Watching the Battle - James Sant (c.1850) This painting by Sant is atypical of the vast majority of 19th century paintings of women, most of which show domestic scenes and lives lived mostly separately from the world of men and affairs of the world. Here Sant shows us a scene of battle that we don't often see - from a female point of view and how they are affected by and respond to organized male violence. A Morning. The Dance of the Nymphs - Jean-Baptiste-Camille Corot (1850-1851) The title of this painting does not make specific reference to ancient mythology but the scene is reminiscent of many from the past which featured the nymphs of Diana or Venus celebrating life, womanhood and perhaps Bacchus. These more modern dancing women are clothed and could be seen as ballet dancers celebrating nature on a natural stage. Promenade - Constant-Emile Troyon (c. 1850s) The 19th century saw unprecedented improvements in living standards which allowed greater numbers of women to have leisure time to spend, usually with other women, on strolls in gardens, or parks, or sharing confidences and the joys of life as a woman in the industrializing West. The Ball Gown - Jules Trayer (1860) Along the Arno to the Cascine - Giuseppe Abbati (1862) Bringing Home the May - Peach Robinson (1862) This photograph is an example of the movement known as Pictorialsim which was dedicated to advancing photography as a legitimate form of imaginative fine art and not just a technology for static portraits. Pictorialists carefully planned their scenes using models, costumes and sometimes multiple exposures which were combined into a single composite image. Here Robinson creates a romantic and idealized representation of country life. First Born - Gustave-Leonard de Jonghe (1863) Red Shirts Staplers - Odoardo Borrani (1863) Elegant Women on the Beach - Eugene Louis Boudin (1863) Buying Fruit and Vegetables at the Night Market - Petrus Van Schendel (1863) Listening to the News of the Day - Gerolamo Induno (1864) Restful Afternoon - Charles Hue (c.1864) A Walk - Silvestro Lega (1864) Two Women in a Clearing - Louis Dericks (1864) Two Women in the Garden of Castiglioncello - Giovanni Fattori (1864-5) Spring - Jacques James Tissot (1865) Livorno Waterholes - Giovanni Fattori (1865) Some artists chose to depict women together in rural peasant scenes as a more honest and real representation of most womens' lives. Forbidden Fruit - Auguste Toulmouche (1865) The rising standards of living included the growth of book publishing and reading and many paintings depict women engaged with books. Sate sponsored secular education of girls and women emerged in the West in the middle of 19th century. Women Dancing in a Brothel - Constantin Guys (c.1865) Guys was one of the Realist artists in Paris who traveled the streets and painted what he saw. Here he shows us the social life of women with other women inside a brothel. Women in the Garden - Claude Monet (1866) The Impressionists were a group of artists that succeeded the Realists in France as an important counter-cultural artistic community. Like the Realists they were dedicated to painting everyday life but pioneered painting plein-air (outdoors) using palettes of bright, vibrant colours. The Visit to the Artist's Sudio - Louis Marie Joseph Ridel (1866) Painting as a profession was dominated by males in the 19th century as it had been for centuries but it became both increasingly acceptable for women to become painters and achievable with prosperous families financially supporting their daughters aspirations. In Sun - Vincenzo Cabianca (1866) The Secret - Jules Salles-Wagner (c.1866) The Reluctant Bride - Auguste Toulmouche (1866) Summer Days - Julia Margaret Cameron (1866) The new technology of photography attracted many artistic talents to explore the potential of the medium. Julia Margaret Cameron (1815-1879) emerged as one of the finest portraitists of the nineteenth century - in any medium. She took up photography in her late forties and produced over a thousand images over 14 years. Promenade - Paul Cézanne (1866) Cézanne, one of the Impressionists, shows us via the arrangement of the figures, the reality of relations between the sexes in the 19th century. The men are standing indicating their greater status and are engaged in discussing important matters of the day while their wives are parked on a bench waiting silently for the men to conclude their conversation. Minerva and the Graces - Marc-Charles-Gabriel Gleyre (1866) Apricots - Albert Joseph Moore (1866) The Hermitage at Pontoise - Camille Pissarro (1867) Pissarro was one of the pioneers of Impressionism and he painted outdoors in rural France for most of his life. Here he completes a scene of tranquil serenity with a genial meeting on the road of two women, one a young mother. Blind Man's Bluff - Charles Baugniet (c.1867) The Confidence - James Tissot (1867) Six Bathers - Adolphe-Joseph Thomas Monticelli (c.1867) After the Manner of the Elgin Marbles - Julia Margaret Cameron (1867) The Drawing Lesson - Charles Baugniet (c.1867) An Interior with Japanese Objects - Juan Leon Palliere (c.1867) Collecting Water - Edward John Cobbett (c.1867) Confidences - Jules Adolphe Goupil (1867) Spring's New Arrivals - Charles Baugniet (c.1867) The Visit - Alfred Emile Leopold Stevens (c.1867) The Love Letter - Gustave Léonard de Jonghe (1867) A Shared Moment - Cesare Felix Georges Dell'Acqua (1868) Young Women of Sparta - Jean-Baptiste Camille Corot (c.1868) The musician in the foreground appears bored, perhaps melancholic since her talents aren't appreciated by the women in the background, who are practicing their hand-to-hand combat skills as warriors for militaristic Sparta. The Weeders - Jules Breton (1868) Quartet of Musicians - Albert Joseph Moore (1868) Moore creates visual tension here by his arrangement of the figures. The standing women and sitting men is a flip of what one would expect within a patriarchy and the close embrace of the two women suggests a romantic connection. Allegory of Lust for Life - Hans Makart (1868) Spring Scene - Anselm Feuerbach (1868) The Bath - Marc Charles Gabriel Gleyre (1868) The Eavesdropper - Carl Heinrich Hoff (1868) Confidences - Cristiano Banti (1868) Women's Art Class - Louis Lang (c.1868) Elegant Ladies at the Baths - Raffaello Sorbi (1868) The Visit - Alfred Émile Léopold Stevens (c.1869) A Visit to the Haunted Chamber - William Frederick Yeames (1869) Ladies Playing Billiards - Charles Edouard Boutibonne (1869) The Diary - Auguste Toulmouche (c.1869) Young Ladies Looking at Japanese Objects - James Tissot (1869) Two Seated Women - Mary Cassatt (1869) The Impressionists considered themselves socially progressive and deliberately included both men and women among their ranks; Cassatt and another woman Berthe Morisot were prominent members. Despite being accepted as an artist of equal merit she was limited by the range of subjects she could paint as she was not able to move as freely around Paris and rural France as her male colleagues could. At the Opera - Charles Edouard Boutibonne (1869) The Hay Field - Thomas Armstrong (1869) The Daydreams - Auguste Toulmouche (c.1869) Young Women Looking at Japanese Objects - James Tissot (c.1869-1870) A Surprising Visit - Otto Wilhelm Eduard Erdmann (1870) Rural Landscape - Ernesto Rayper (1870) A Beach Stroll - Frederik Hendrik Kaemmerer (1870) Bathers - Paul Cézanne (1870) Cézanne appears to be anticipating future artistic movements with this painting, which is more about shapes and colours than it is about the portrayal of soft, voluptuous bodies of women. These figures look cold, and perhaps uncomfortable, after their swim in the dark of night. A tintype from 1870. A stand was often used for the subjects to lean against to prevent movement which would result in image blurring. Glance Exchanged - Frederik Henrdik Kaemmerer (c.1870) The arrangement of the seated men and women suggests that the exchanged glance is between two women, perhaps a moment of attraction and/or flirtation. Back From the Dance - Giuseppe de Nittis (1870) The Washerwomen of the Breton Coast - Jules Breton (1870) Fannie (née Heriot), Lady Wentworth; possibly Maria Colclough Turner (née Heriot, later Blyth) - W. & D. Downey (1870) The Visit - Albert Roosenboom (c.1870) The Love Letter - Petrus van Schendel (1870) By the Well - Jozsef Molnar (c.1870) La Toilette - Frédéric Bazille (1870) This painting belongs to a genre that reflects the Wests' fascination with the Orient/Middle East and depicts a scene within a harem. The intended audience were males, who enjoy the nudity and the subtext of lesbian sexuality. There were a great number of harem related works produced in the 19th century but I've chosen to include only a few of them in this series of blog posts. The next post will continue with works produced during the 1870s.
  4. 1 point
    Hello ladies, Decided to create a Youtube channel specifically for Shys. My best therapy is singing and recording some of my favorite songs. Will be posting a few on here. Here's a few for now. Please excuse the pitchiness. Recorded some impulsively ha. Hope your ears will survive this song. It's super low in the beginning but it's a super favorite of mine So hello again ladies, decided to record a few more tonight. These are some of my favorite songs again. And please excuse the cracking in my voice. It's late OK fine I am also not so good at singing these haha. If you have any ballad songs you'd like me to sing... just let me know. I can try "When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part" Below is an original song I wrote when I was in Uni. A bit raw and super acoustic.
  5. 1 point
    So I’m 5months along and single and jobless. Last month, I’m chilling in my room talking to my mom on the phone, and I look up and see my boyfriend walking up the stairs. I get excited because I hadn’t seen him for almost two weeks. I tell my mom I’ll call her back and hang up. He hugs me and says the worst words possible. “We need to talk.” So we both sit down and he flat out says, “We need to break up.” I’m too shocked to react as he goes on about us not being right for each other and that he thinks it best if he has time to figure stuff out. He trembling at this point and I reach over and take hold of his hands. He proceeds to say he still wants to be there for the baby and he thinks I must hate him now. I told him that I don’t hate him. We hugged and he got most of his stuff and left. Then everything hit me at once and I called my mom crying and she (being the mama bear she is) got pissed. After getting off the phone with her. I called my best friend and talked about it with her. She helped calm me down and convinced me to go eat something (after finding out I hadn’t eaten since 10 that morning and it was about 9pm when we started talking). I just felt so lost. I didn’t understand and probably won’t understand what went wrong. Over the next few days it started to frustrate me more and more. Why hadn’t he talked to me about how he was feeling beforehand? Why did he go to other people? He got upset with me earlier in our relationship because something happened and I felt I couldn’t say anything to him. So he found out what happened and then got upset that I didn’t communicate because it was all a misunderstanding. So from then on, we had been open books about stuff to each other. Or so I thought... A few more days go by and I found more of his stuff to return and I figured, he said he wanted to be there for our child so I’ll give him a couple of the ultrasound pictures. I put them in a baggie and then put it in on the side of the big bag with the rest of his stuff. I had a couple errands to run that day in the same town so I sent him a text saying what time I’d be up there. Well it started to storm and he wasn’t answering, so I just texted his mom and asked if I could just drop off the stuff at the house. She told me she was absolutely okay with it. So I got there and it was pouring down rain. His dad came out of the house and waved at me to park under the covering. So I did and as I was getting out he (being a nice guy) takes the bag from me to take inside. Then an “oh sh*t” moment happened. I had my back turned head back to my car and his dad stops me and asks if I could come inside for a minute. I kind of thought that was weird, but I obliged. When I got inside his dad was at the bathroom door pounding on it and yelling out my ex’s full name. His mom greeted me and asked me if that was his stuff in the bag and when I looked over (after confirming) I saw the pictures on top of everything. His dad and, now, his mom had seen them. So, not only did he break up with me, he never told his parents about our child, and he didn’t show up to any of the appointments. Well, at this point I’m heartbroken and hormonal. One of the worst mixes of emotions and I ended up getting fired from my job because a comment I made was taken out of context and they wouldn’t even give me a chance to explain. They suspended me and then told me I was okay to come back to work and then fired me when I stepped foot inside the building. So, currently, I’ve been trying to find a desk job and dealing with other stuff going on. Good news is, my parents put an offer on the table for me to live with them once my lease is up, not worry about working, so long as I do some housework, take care of my son (yup, baby is a boy!! ), and go back to school online at their expense. How could I say no to that?
  6. 1 point
    I never thought I'd do a post like this. But it's something I feel more than one of you can relate to. And it might be some comfort to know that you are not alone with these feelings. The things that lay in the dark, best left not given voice to for fear you will break someone else's reality, when all you do is want to scream, or want to cry, or worse want to fold it all in on itself, pack it in and want to die. As much as this may help, it may also hurt, so major [TRIGGER WARNING] to anyone who suffers from depression or is suicidal. Don't watch or listen to the videos contained herein BEFORE the break (the first 4 spoken word pieces, or quotes, some may find triggering...the 3 music videos at end should be fine, but you may or may not like depending on your taste.) if you can't handle hearing things that sound too much like what is in your head, or mine...Please don't hurt yourself and know you are not alone. Others of us struggle just to live sometimes, often, or nearly everyday. I know it might sound trite to you, as everyone likes to say this, but take it from someone who knows firsthand what you are going through: It's an uphill battle but it can get better so long as you don't throw your life away. Time changes everything, and we always feel differently in time. Please don't make an impulsive decision based on the pain you feel in the moment because our situations are forever changing and making a permanent and irrevocable decision in such a time should never be the answer, no matter how badly you wish for it, or think it so in the heat of the moment. There are people who care, people you might not even yet know, people who will miss you. Even if it feels like there's no one, and can never be, and you are nothing but a burden, or worthless, or whatever other pretty lies fill your mind from your Depressive Side. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and resolves nothing except leaving an empty space were you used to be in this world. Others will grieve you, miss you, be heartbroken, and you won't be around to see it, to know that these same people would likely have tried to comfort you if only they had known something was wrong sooner. Talk to a friend, family member, or anyone you can trust to listen, or baring that try to find something creative to channel your feelings into, if you can, be it art, music, writing, or whatever works for you. It can really help. Or you can use one of the resources below if you aren't sure who else to turn to or where else to turn. Here are some resources for you in case this sounds too much like you, please reach out, even if everything in you is telling you not to, even if you're feeling so low it may seem pointless. Talking to someone, anyone, is so much better than the alternative: PHONE NUMBERS: Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Estonia: 3726558088; in Russian 3726555688 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Holland: 09000767 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 045861048 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Portugal: 21 854 07 40/8 . 96 898 21 50 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08457909090 USA: 18002738255 Veterans' Crisis Line: 1 800 273 8255/ text 838255 For other suicide resources and hotlines broken down by region, or may not have been in this list, go here: http://www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html Now onto the today's entry: ... "You are a good person. An extraordinary person. Don't you forget that." A normal person would feel comforted, possibly uplifted or even dare I say hopeful after hearing those words. Not me. I can't because they come at the worst time for me, when I am down, it's like being trapped in Bizarro World, inside your own head. Blessings become curses, and you would rather see yourself dead. When really, like most everyone with such morbid thoughts creeping around in their brain, it's the opposite that is slowly driving them insane. As much as they feel like they should die, it's really just a cry for help from our souls screaming "I want to live!" Just give me a reason to. Anything, a sign, that this will pass in time and there will come a better tomorrow... But instead "You are a good person. An extraordinary person. Don't you forget that." becomes: Me wanting to cry, feeling like I'm so unworthy and undeserving of that statement even if I do deserve it, I can't feel it, feel that way. It feels like a lie even if it's not. How can I keep loving others, keep trying, keep giving myself away, when deep down inside the secret I try to hide is -I HATE Myself- - And it becomes more apparent everyday as more stressors in my life makes more things unstable triggering my Depression, and it becomes harder to hold at bay. But I can't afford to lose this battle with myself because what that might mean. But if this isn't you, you can't understand where I'm coming from, so here I invite you to explore the videos below. It's not exactly the same as what goes on in my head, but it comes frighteningly close, the thought process, but the sentiments are the same, the words are, the same, it's all the same at it's core...desperately needing things to change, feeling lost and alone, swallowed by despair, and if any of you have ever felt this way, this will no doubt seem familiar to you in the same way we always look at Depression and say: "Hello, Darkness, my old friend, come to see me once again..." - Things may get worse, before they get better, but they always will. Life is cyclic. We have to change that hateful voice in our head, replace it with kinder things. We have to find the excuses to get out of bed, and face the day. We have to remember what life was like, when our passions rode us, made us take delight in all Life's special moments that have come before us. It is always darkest before the dawn, but within us all lies the strength to carry on. -
  7. 1 point
    Hi and welcome to another installment of Philosophical Ramblings of a Menstruating Woman, if you have been following my other ramblings you will know there really is no structure to these blog posts, I usually just post whatever comes to mind and there is no telling what my fingers will type so strap in here we go....... First of all does anyone else get road rage while grocery shopping? or am I the only one? I just don't get it, they clearly see me trying to pass them even say the polite excuse me, but to be ignored. Which reminds me of the Movie Fried Green Tomatoes, where Kathy Bates Character is trying to get a parking space and this really sporty car with young girls come in and take the spot, she yells "Tawanda" and just rams the other car with hers. I wonder what would happen if one just shouted Tawanda! and started ramming a grocery cart into a rude person's cart and just keep shouting tawanda and keep ramming their cart. I mean what is the worse that could happen?? thrown out of the store, fitted for a strange jacket that fastens in the back? Anger management classes??? Okay probably not a great idea to do in reality... but lots of crimes take place in my mind So TAWANDA! I think we need to start a TAwanda movement, I am just know it will take off! Lets see what else do we have... So I was on youtbe and was watching these video fails videos, these are the videos were people do things and end up hurting themselves and someone was kind enough to capture the event on video and upload it to youtube so the whole world can see it. Some of them I just can't watch cause I feel so darn bad for them but you continue to watch them knowing full well you shouldn't be watching them, its like a train wreck you just can't look away. I also do the same thing when I am watching like a reality show where they are suppose to have some sort of talent and they clearly really bad, those I actually turn the channel, I feel so bad for those folks in front of millions of people. Its just so sad.... I can't take it... Also if you are on youtube and you see shark videos they will swallow you up ( Pun Intended) also when you go in the ocean try not to look so chewy! I guess that is going to wrap this post up as I am getting sleepy ( finally), if you got this far, thanks for reading and enjoy your day/night.