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Showing content with the highest reputation since 01/20/18 in Blog Entries

  1. 16 points
    Shybi is a truly unique space. When I rocked up here. I’d had a fair bit of experience in the obvious areas and the meaningful ones too. But I wasn’t comfortable. At first I thought this had nothing to do with my sexuality. I assumed Shybi was a meet up board by the way. Didn’t read the about or the rules. I obviously realized in a few seconds! I remember think oh well, nevermind. I was starving that day and overtired and my casual date had cancelled, but I stayed and read a few topics and thought - hey, I can reply to that! My life was a bit of a mess but I hadn’t connected that my sexual being and even my ability to love a person could exist fully, while still feeling pain, stress and shame about living an almost split life as a result. I’d actually shut down communicating with the people who mattered, just enough to keep us going along - it’s possible to be well matched with more than one person, only to realize that all of you need to work on yourselves as individuals and that compromise in a relationship can become self-sabotage without you even realizing. So I stuck around went through some harder times - AKA the cryptic status updates, for any of the older members who remember! Somehow supporting and interacting with you all made me feel useful. Despite having quite a lot in my life at the time, I didn’t feel that. Over time, your thoughts, feelings and experiences started to have this affect on me. As some of you were questioning yourselves and sharing your journeys, I began to look at myself and saw that I did have insecurities surrounding my sexuality, I responded and supported in the way that was and still is most authentic to me and I was surprised by how natural that felt. By being here, I was able to reconnect with myself and remember that my sexuality is part of me, it’s not an add-on that I need to sideline or usher away, I’m not the shout it from the rooftops kinda woman, but I am excited by the prospect of living, loving and experiencing again. The diversity here has enabled me to understand women better. Sounds silly, but since joining Shybi I understand and empathize more - I often don’t agree but I think without even realizing it, I was repressing parts of myself. Although I’ve always struggled to relate to women from a young age, the opposite of what many of you say, and that’s improved too. I’ve been on here 4 years? So I’ve had time to slowly work things out. Having said that, all of my close girlfriends are similar in nature and we do pretty much cover the spectrum and I’m lucky to have that, but I hadn’t talked to them about anything personal/relationships in years. Pretty ironic, you’ve gay and bisexual friends and it never comes up? Well it did and I was once pretty open, but I spent about half a decade, essentially locked in internalized homophobia. I didn’t see it setting in and so it’s no big deal they stop asking and you talk about other things. For me it came from a place of now your female, non-white, from a low background and it doesn’t matter that you’re almost totally fine, you’re still gonna be registered disabled and you won’t get picked first, second or third - so you can’t be bisexual as well, sorry. If you want to succeed while hitting every point of intersectionality, something’s gotta give. I’d constructed a fragile sense of self-worth from the only part I had control over. But then one day last year I woke up in hospital, half a decade had passed and while I’d survived, I hadn’t live. I’d been relentless in my pursuit that I failed my way to success, but the rest of my life was empty. I spent the rest of that year not just building a life, but building myself. You can do, go and change as many times as you like - it's gonna happen anyway might as well get on board! Now I've got choices, I'm well, I'm content and who know what's out there? Surely, in the long-term, in order to become the best version of yourself, you’ve got to accept the whole package and work it out as you go along. It also happens my package includes an obsession with building things, vision and how to make things better. Shybi has made me better, you've all made better so I’ve gotta accept that hopefully it'll work out in the end too. I don't want to watch it happen. I would immediately fund the site further, if I thought more of you could see what I see. But that’s ok - Shys is a wonderful place if you give it a chance in any state. @la-femme has changed so many lives, I really hope she lets you give back to the site and everyone comes together. Now feels like a good time for me to leave the island. I’m starting a new chapter offline, so perhaps it's a sign, that I’m ready. With any luck they’ll be a new and improved site for me to check out one day and if not I truly appreciate the time and the space, spent here with all of you.
  2. 12 points
    I found shys on a random google search one evening and was soon hooked. I had finally found a place where I could be open about my emotions for the first time in my life! It’s liberating! I have connected with some of the most amazing people who have made me open up (something I really wasn’t used to), they’ve listened to me on my down days (there have been many). We’ve laughed and shared stories and experiences, and every single interaction has made a huge difference to my life and how I’ve handled things along the way. I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to listen to me pouring my heart out even when you had your own problems to deal with so for that I am eternally grateful. One unique lady became very special to me early on. I felt that magnetic pull towards her and I wasn’t sure what or why I felt that strongly, but I did. We hit it off quickly. So much in common, the same interests and desires. Everything just clicked into place. She was all I could think about. We messaged every day and grew closer and closer. We were both open with our husbands, but sadly, they both became very insecure with our connection, which, to be fair, was stronger than either of us had ever experienced before, although we never told them how strong, I guess they could tell. As much as we love our husbands, we grew to love each other too and it consumed and scared us both. Despite their insecurities we had to see each other, with their consent, never crossing the line, and sticking to the firm boundaries that husbands had set. If you were hoping for a raunchy shys story, this isn’t it. It was however, the most romantic and loving relationship I’ve ever experienced with anyone before and I’m fortunate enough to have a best friend at the end of it too. It’s been 11 months since our first messages and we’ve become so close, even if friendship is all we can have. The connection we made is unique and special and I’m a better person when I’m with her. I’m forever grateful to this place for making that possible. So while her husband can’t bear the thought of her being with anyone else, mine is coming around to the idea. The journey I’ve been on with my marriage is a post for another time but he has been truly amazing and in an odd way it’s brought us closer. Lots of communication and trial and error, which has been really hard at times. In the end it all comes down to one simple but crucial point….that he must always feel like he’s my number one priority above anyone else. I neglected him at times and I see that now. He accepts I may have relationships with other women if the opportunity presents itself, as long as he never feels like second best. Sounds simple enough right?? I thought so until I fell in love with a woman. It’s…..intense! I have so much to learn. So this is where I am now, a year later. I finally accepted who I am, I’ve dipped my toes in a world I was afraid of for a long time and found I’m quite at home here. I just need to figure out what I want, and I'm working a little harder on my marriage because he really is an incredible man. Right now this is just a big thank you to the people who set up this wonderful site and allowed a highly supressed bisexual to express herself in ways she never thought possible. I hope it helps others too.
  3. 10 points
    I just want to show my girlfriend off to the world. I'm so proud to be hers. She's such a wonderful person. Just absolutely amazing. The way she thinks... the things she does... I've never met another person so closely similar to me, but so very much themselves. Trusting me with her heart whenever she needs to spill it out to me. And she does it so honestly and unapologetically, and accepts my heart when it needs to spill as well. She has so much love to give unconditionally. She's so talented and hard-working and caring and rational. God, is she rational. I love it. We have the same love language. We value and appreciate the same things in a relationship. We're playful and clever together. She amplifies everything about me. I love deeper. I laugh harder. I sigh every other second. With her, I'm so much better. She inspires me to be more. And I do the same for her. She flew into my life so unexpectedly, and I showed her the sort of caring and lasting friendship she was longing for. What she's given me in return is too much for words. And I tell her everyday. She tells me everyday. We write letters full of I love you's just to try to capture some of this feeling, but it's just not enough. Her heart is so pure. Her voice makes my knees melt into the pavement. She has me wrapped around her finger and there's no one I would trust more to do so. Barely any time has passed, but I feel like I know her so well. I feel like I've known her for ages. Like she was a part of me that I never knew was missing and now I can't live without. As many times as I've been in love before, this is so much more. She loves me as much as I love her. We were once the only ones putting effort into our relationships and now we are both putting our effort into this relationship equally. Neither of us is used to it, and both of us appreciate it so much. There's so much that can be felt from a single caring action. We understand that. It's the little things that matter. I just needed to spill this out to someone. It's so difficult to contain how happy I am about her.
  4. 8 points
    A trailer for the upcoming movie (Fall 2017) Professor Marston and The Wonder Women has been released and it looks like it will deal honestly with the polyamorous lifestyle of Marston, his wife Elizabeth and their shared partner Olive Byrne who together were the creators of Wonder Woman. Even by today's liberal standards their family arrangement was quite radical. I wonder if/how the release of this movie, so soon after Gal Godot's very successful Wonder Woman, will have an impact on the public's perception of Wonder Woman as a beloved icon and hero for girls and women. If it is well received it might be an event that starts larger discussion in society about polyamoury and female bisexuality. The trailer looks great and I'm really looking forward to seeing it! https://www.themarysue.com/omg-i-cant-even-with-how-excited-i-am-for-professor-marston-and-the-wonder-women/
  5. 7 points
    I haven't been on this site for a while, and obviously, this is my first Blog post. When I first found this place, summer 2016, it was a God-send. I poured my heart out, let the real me out there, and everyone was understanding and wonderful. Strangely, I was welcomed, not what I expecting. It had taken me a long time to realise my bisexuality, even though it was completely obvious on realisation! For example - I loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer series when I was younger. I’m a colossal nerd, so it’d not surprising! But Buffy or Sarah Michelle Gellar, was my first girl crush. At the time, I thought it was normal. Buffy was hot, killed bad guys and I wanted her to save me and then kiss me! Yeah. I know now! I’ve had one lesbian experience and that was with my best friend in Ibiza. It was kind of a bucket list thing for her and the longer the sex went on, the less she was into it. I was though, and I’ve missed the female touch and closeness since. I have a fiancé and two children now, 6 and 3. I love them all and what could be wrong? Well. I think you know where this is going?! All the girl crushes, lesbian fantasies - of which I assumed were normal came to a head. The mass of confusion and agony had all come into the open and like a lightbulb going off in my head I guess! Ahhh. It all made sense. It was a relief, but……terrifying. Well, I found Shys last summer and many wonderful people and I’m glad to say, a really good friend, whom I’m still friends with now. In short, my partner has known something was wrong and, after many arguments, I ended up coming out to him. He was relieved I wasn’t having an affair and was kind of supportive at the time. I told him about Shys and he was on board. That didn’t last long. He’s not a horrible guy, he’s a great dad and partner. His love of football / soccer is for another discussion! But he’s insecure of my sexuality, which I can understand. We’re still together and I love my family, but we argue more these days. I’m going to keep our family together. At this moment in time, I want a woman more than anything. It’s driving me crazy. I want the softness, tenderness and lovingness that only a woman can give. It’s a fantasy Lol. I don’t want to do anything to hurt my family no matter how fooked up I am. I’m still in touch with my friend from here, who is my twin sister in another country! She’s amazing and I love her. I’m back to Shys, on her advice and because….I’m lonely and I thought I’d got it under control, but I haven’t. It comes and goes, but the yearning to be with a woman is overtaking my thoughts and it isn’t something I can pursue so I’m pretty insane! I’m beyond help I’m sure. There is no easy fix for me. But if you’ve got this far? Thank you for your time x Shende x
  6. 4 points
    In the context of the women's march and pussy hats and whatnot, trans issues have been in the news again lately. This is my attempt to explain a subjective experience of gender dysphoria, a frequently misunderstood subject. In the movie Shakespeare in Love, the protagonist Viola masquerades as a man named Thomas Kent to be able to act. In one scene she is rehearsing a dance with the company. The dance master calls out "gentlemen upstage, ladies downstage" and without thinking Viola steps downstage. The dance master, who had been referring to the acting roles of the (presumed) all-male cast, repeats irately "gentlemen upstage, ladies downstage, are you a lady Mr. Kent?" Viola is caught in a disconnect between her own identity and what others perceive of her. I often feel like I am in a mild version of this situation. Conventional wisdom holds that because I have two X chromosomes I should go downstage. Yet sometimes I want to go upstage. Other times I just want to throw my hands up and exit stage left, pursued by a bear. My uneasiness with binary roles may make it more difficult to carry out the prescribed dances, but I think it's worth it anyways. Are you a lady, Mr. Chem? I don't know but I'm trying to figure it out.
  7. 4 points
    I am mad,mad at myself mostly for letting her be like this with me, for allowing her having this manipulative behavior.All my life, I spend all my life feeling less because she made me feel like this,took me years to love my image, my body and realize there is nothing wrong with me.FUCK I am MAD.Everytime I tried to do something she managed to convince me that I can't do it because she knows better, because she is so selfish and don't want to be alone and she doesn't care what the fuck I want.Always live by hers and society's standards, always go with her mood.Well what about what I want?how I feel?my life depends from her and I hate it, I hate that she has this power over me and I am really ashamed of that.And why do I stay?I keep coming for more hurt, more manipulation. I think I am a f..ing masochist,that's the only explanation I can give.She doesn't even know me, the real me,she thinks i am the person she tried to make.I am so tired of listening to her that i zone out,she talks and talks and i just don't care to listen and because she is in love with labels i am the person that doesn't care about anything.Well i have news i care about everything,she just made me not to show my feelings.I managed to hold my reactions and how i feel because i don't want to listen to her rants and confrontations and because from when i was child i knew that she wouldn't listen,so why bother.What does that make me?i am guarded because of her,all my life I m listening what the world will say from her,all my life I am compared and judged, well fuck you I am not my sister, I am not my cousin,I am not the stupid neighbors kid,I am me with my short hair and my jeans and my flaws and insecurities,ME, without labels,perfect in my imperfection,living in my head, in a world you can't and never will understand.
  8. 2 points
    When I all I wanted to do was leave home, leave the arguments, leave the small town, the small mindedness. So I did it, I moved to London. Little did my family know, I moved there to be with the woman I loved. I lied with every inch of my body and I hated myself, a coward. I had this whole story of how she was my 'best friend' she accepted that part of me..we had 2 great years together but grew apart, we remained friends for years after and we both jumped in and out of relationships/encounters, I look back with fondness and memories of happiness and I'm so glad we knew each other but I still can't help to think I was hurting her the whole time, by not being honest and open. So this is how this whole thing started ... me being a closeted mess. I still lie about that relationship... This is an extremely brief introduction as I intend not to bore you with too much detail, but you get the idea? Right?