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Showing content with the highest reputation since 04/26/2018 in Blog Entries

  1. 16 points
    Forgive my sudden intrusion. Re-entry is what this is. I joined many years in the past and have rolled, tumbled and endured gushing wounds along this path to self-acceptance. I wanted... perhaps, even, needed that bright, shiny label. I was so eager to uncap the pink, purple and blue marker and spell my name on a white, fat sticker that I could fix above my heart: bisexual, here! I have learned that it's not so simple. I remember when I joined and I look back on the confusion, the fear, the titillation, the joy in finding others like me. I remember leaning over and looking down straight into the depths of my own uncertainty and wondering if it would be right to jump. And I did. I fell through darkness and light. Happiness and misery. I fell again, and again and again and again. And when I landed, and spat shattered teeth into my palm, I swore it was over for me. I swore that I would never venture outside of the neat little fence I set up for myself around this hut of isolation. It's too much trouble, I said, My heart can't take it. And yet... Sometimes I miss the connection. I miss having a reason to check my phone early... when the birds first chatter their sweet songs, accompanying the slow birth of the morning sun. I miss inside jokes, texted in the late afternoon. I miss pictures of self, taken for one, and one alone. I miss sending something that, when opened, would bloom a brilliant smile across a sweet face. I miss being wanted, desired. I miss the anticipation of heart-bursting ecstasy, signified by a lopsided red circle on a kitchen calendar. I miss sifting through a pile of sappy nicknames. I miss pinning the ultimate love song to her lapel and smiling, feeling my heart beat hard enough to vibrate my chest whenever I would hear it. I miss remembering every wonderful, stupid little detail about her. Like her favorite brand of perfume. Or the first time she heard her favorite band live. I miss breathing out warm passion and hearing it echoed back, in perfect sync. I miss all that, and more. Damn it. Sometimes, in small and large ways... I really want a girlfriend again.
  2. 8 points
    There is a whole truth that "sex" topics in the site has proliferated recently. Some of the dead threads have come back to life and believe it or not it's because there are always a number of people who are interested to know and seek a legitimate answer. Yes, some are very explicit in details. Yes, some people have no reservations about telling a piece of their private lives in a public forum. SO, BLOODY WHAT? A lot of women here WILL NOT EVER DARE to talk about what’s in their mind with their friends, with their husbands, with their siblings, or with anyone...because they can’t for the fear of being misunderstood, shame, prejudice, societal differences, personal biases and surrounded by bloody holier-than-thou people around them. This site is created to be a safe haven for everyone. When I joined the site last year, it was full of “meaningful” discussions everywhere. What is meaningful for me may not be meaningful for others. What is meaningful for me? Anything that I can relate to because it serves certain purpose to me, or piqued my interest or passion, or something I perceived as valid in my life. Since joining, I have learned a lot about my sexuality, life itself, sex and other hardcore (as interpreted by my innocent thinking mind) stuff. I’ve been actively visiting the site and like many things in the world, the conversations in an online forum like Shybi has its ebb and flow. This pattern is dependent on many factors: how many members are in a problematic or particular situations that post to seek advice, number of postings created by members who are searching for answers or advice; and the high influence of the subsequent responses of the members to the post that makes it more relevant and interesting. In my observation since last year, many members who were actively contributing to the forums (seeking advice and/or giving advice) had ceased to be around for some reasons and I do believe that it’s due to life priorities. Other members, however, are just happy to look around quietly here. For whatever reason, sometimes,they decide to pop their thinking head out of their cave and join the conversation. That is fine. I could go on and go on but I’m tired now and I have to work tomorrow. So, I will rest my case here. Something to ponder... “We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.” -- Paulo Coelho
  3. 4 points
    So its another sleepless night or is it a sleepless morning? Trying to think about life and get myself together and this dream thought creeps right in, its like my mind has a mind of its own and I have no say in what it thinks whatsoever and I am beginning to think maybe it needs to be rewired. I wonder how painful electric shock therapy is ** thinking** I am kidding, but seriously anyone know??? Anyway, I had no idea where to put this in the forum so just decided to leave it here buried in my blog, incidentally who came up with the word blog anyway? I mean did someone just start writing something on the internet and thought what do I call this?? So I guess Blog was born and here we ( when I say we I mean me) talking about it and I doubt anyone really cares about the history of the word blog at all, so lets keep this moving on..... Without further adieu ( did I spell that right?) Apparently so since no little lines slapped my fingers.... here is the dream thought that popped into my minds mind.... As the moonlight streams in the window illuminating the room, my eyes open for a moment, awaken from a deep sleep, trying to focus on where I am and my surroundings. Hearing the wind blow, my eyes move to the focal point of the room, the fire in the fireplace dancing to the music the wind was playing. My eyes then darted to the window and seeing the snow fall at a very rapid pace, smiling like a child on Christmas morning, I dearly love to watch the snow fall, especially at night. I was tempted to get up go to the window and throw back the curtains wider, so I could watch the snow fall romantically to the ground. But the warmth and comfort of your arms enticed me to stay right where I was, feeling one of your arms wrapped protectively around my waist, your hand lying flat on my stomach, the body heat radiating from you warming not only my body but my heart. I listen quietly to the sounds of the wind, placing my hand on top of yours, hearing your even breathing, turning my head to watch you sleepy, in a very non creepy way, I wonder for a moment what you might be dreaming about and hoping it was my face you were seeing. After a while my eyes began to grow heavy, and I felt you scoot closer to me, smiling as I closed my eyes, I drifted off to sleep, feeling incandescently contented. ( Just love bold italics, don't you?) If you took the time to read this, thank you. I had better do the world a favor and get some sleep.
  4. 4 points
    Time for me to leave here.Since I joined the site helped me a lot. I had some good times, good laughs and some bad times.I had sleepless nights, sometimes for staying up late discovering someone, sometimes because I couldn't keep the sadness of not understanding behaviors. I discovered more about myself and I've made few friends. Not many. Very few decided that I am worth it and sticked around. I regret nothing!!And I am thankful for the few that gave me chances and for all that didn't. But the site has nothing to offer me anymore and I certainly have nothing to offer either. Maybe some day I'll feel like I can offer again.Until then αντίο και ίσως τα ξαναπούμε
  5. 3 points
    Hello! My last status said I was going to try to be here more often (back in January!) and now it's October. Oops. Well, there's been a lot going on. In order of importance: 1. I got a well-paying job back in March! 2. I moved out of my parents' house and into my own apartment just a few weeks ago (I am so relieved) 3. I am getting a decent start on paying all of my own bills (even more relief) 4. I have a boyfriend! 5. I am back in contact with a high school friend, and hopefully we will remain friends even after she moves to Hawaii 6. I am researching LGBT groups/businesses in town, and there are a few places that still seem to be active. I'll do my best to go the next meetup! There's a lot of stuff I need to think through pertaining to... well, most of this list, but I really feel like I'm pretty on track to being a functional adult! And I really will try to be online more often this time!!
  6. 1 point
    I know I'm a little late to the party but I just watched Insidious: The Last Key and felt the need to talk about horror. Blumhouse Productions has a successful formula when it comes to crafting great horror. Keep the budget low and give the director full creative freedom. Blumhouse isn't the only production studio making frighteningly awesome and low budget content. New Line Cinema is also tapping the micro-budget business model.The two production houses are responsible for some of the most popular horror series in the last 10 years, including Paranormal Activity, The Conjuring, Insidious, Purge, Get Out and many more. The same directors return to these production houses to make sequels, encouraging continuity of vision, and repeat business with the hottest names in horror. A change from the days of a bunch of different directors and producers creating a hot mess out of a good idea. Jaws, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday 13th, Halloween, need I go on? Some of my favourite modern horror movie directors are James Wan, Oren Peli, Adam Robitel, Jennifer Kent, and Leigh Whannell. I'd love to hear your thoughts if you're a horror movie fan. Whose work do you like? Who's your favourite Scream Queen? Which elements of horror creep you out the most? Do you have a favourite movie? For me I'm not really into slasher or gore. I prefer a good, suspenseful, spine tingling, jump out of your skin when you least expect it kind of movie. THREE RECS FOR A SPOOKY MOVIE NIGHT: Ringu directed by Hideo Nakata (Japanese) When her niece is found dead along with three friends after viewing a supposedly cursed videotape, reporter Reiko Asakawa sets out to investigate. The Babadook directed by Jennifer Kent (Australian) A single mother, plagued by the violent death of her husband, battles with her son's fear of a monster lurking in the house. The Taking of Deborah Logan directed by Adam Robitel (American) Mia records the daily lives of dementia patient Deborah and her daughter Sarah as part of her thesis. As the days progress it becomes apparent something has taken control of Deb. .
  7. 1 point
    I was told that someone very close to me commented that my relationship with my gf is just a phase. They've said that before about my past relationship with a girl. It really hurt my heart a lot that they still believe, 10 years later, that my attraction to females could be anything, but real. This person has known me my entire life, and, unless they are in complete denial of who I am, maybe they don't know me as well as I thought they did. I thought to confront them about their feelings, not specifically mentioning that someone else told me anything about it (in case they misheard or misunderstood or anything like that). I wanted their honest thoughts without potential influence. I decided, instead, that I would just thank them for loving and accepting me as I am, and hope that, in time, they'll see that this isn't a phase, that it is real, and that this is who I am. My previous relationship with a girl didn't last long and was followed by 10 years of dating guys. Here's to hoping this one lasts to the end of my days, as I always do. As far as I know, the truth is that I am thankful for this person loving and accepting me, and I don't need to confront any negativity that may or may not be true. This person hasn't shown me any negativity themselves about any of it, and if they feel some way about it, they'll tell me when they need to, or they'll learn and grow and accept the truth before it ever becomes a real, in-my-face issue. Fingers crossed... - NoOne
  8. 1 point
    It became a lesbian paradise, thanks to the pioneering women who descended upon St. Augustine, Florida in the 1970's to live together in seaside cottages. They found one another in a feverish era of gay rights and women's liberation. Together they built a matriarchal community, where no men were permitted. For decades they have been dedicated to inspiring and motivating other women to live their ideal lives free of fear. Wouldn't it be great if there were more female only towns and villages? Imagine being able to go to a place filled with women who want to be with other women, no need for second guessing, no wondering if she's straight, no sidestepping men. A beautiful, magical, lady playground, where women can feel safe together. Imagine being able use your favourite running track, or stumble home drunk off your ass, or use a public bathroom by yourself, at any hour of the day or night, without fear of perverts and rapists lurking in the shadows. Imagine a town where the sound of mansplaining can't be heard, where man-flu doesn't exist, where contraception isn't necessary. A town where the only pearl necklace you're going to get is a real one. A town with public bathrooms and tampon vending machines everywhere. What about dick you ask? If you're in the mood for some dick, you and your girls can ride over to straight man town, where women are obviously always welcome, and find yourself a hot beef injection. Just remember to use a rubber, and take an iodine bath before you return to lady town. When I win a huge lottery I'm taking over a ghost town and rebuilding it. Who's with me? Anyone else want to contribute to lady town? Share your ideas below.