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Showing content with the highest reputation since 10/15/2018 in Posts

  1. 9 points
    Is it just me, or are heavily detailed and unexpected messages often better than watching videos? I've messaged a few girls over this past week, and I don't know if it's because my lesbian virginity is still intact, but it's driving me wild. I'm so insatiably horny, it's crazy. My clit aches from not having a break but I just can't leave it alone. I love it.
  2. 8 points
    I never thought I would be writing this post…but a week ago I told my husband that our marriage was over. My bisexuality has developed, to the point where I don’t want to be with a man at all and I don’t love him in the way that a wife should. About 18 months ago, my feelings towards women really stepped up a notch and in that time I have struggled to connect sexually with my husband. I got to the point where I was feeling really unhappy that I might never get to be with a woman sexually again (previous experience was limited and many years ago). My husband, who has always known of my bisexuality, tried to understand my desires and said it would be ok to find someone to explore with. Recently, I met a wonderful woman online, who also had an understanding husband. We messaged non stop, then moved onto phone calls and FaceTime and very quickly had made a strong connection with each other. We met at a hotel and had a proper date - a first for both of us. What followed was the most incredible, highly erotic marathon of a night that I never, ever want to forget and I hope that we will get to repeat. Wow! During our time together, something clicked into place. Every thing that this beautiful woman and I did, felt right. It was natural, I enjoyed every moment of both giving and receiving and I was distraught at the idea of never having that again. Less than 24 hours after saying goodbye to this incredible woman, the reality kicked in that I might need to end my marriage. I couldn’t see myself going back to my husband and being happy, or being able to remotely enjoy sex with him. I was worried that I would just be pretending. My worries were correct. I had to do the right thing and be truthful and honest to both myself and my husband. I don’t regret my night of passion one bit; that incredible woman has helped me to realise that sex can be absolutely amazing and that I was ready to make a change in my life and start accepting who I really am. I don’t regret my marriage either; my husband and I have had a wonderful 14 years together, we have a beautiful daughter and will remain a great team - both for parenting and support for each other through life.
  3. 8 points
    Hi ladies, I'm finally ready to say hi! Hi . I'm married with 3 children and recently this year became aware/slapped in the face with the fact that I maybe bisexual. For me it was quite a shock, even though looking back I have always had these "thoughts" I just always pushed them back in my mind thinking I was just being "silly". I don't know why, but I never really knew that being bi was even an option. I know how naive and misguided that sounds, but for me, I just always thought you were either a lesbian or straight! I became aware, or what I call "my sexual awakening", this year when I became highly attracted to a woman that served me at my local coffee shop! I couldn't stop thinking about her, and was imagining what would be like to kiss a woman etc. I felt SO guilty..like I had somehow cheated on my husband, even though I hadn't. In that instant I knew that this was apart of me that I needed to explore. So I spoke with my husband that night, confessing that I had a fantasy that I wanted to chat with him about and hoping that he would be okay with it. Either way the ball was in his court as I didn't want to ruin our relationship and I still strongly feel that way. I was VERY lucky in the fact that my husband has been really supportive through it all! phew!! I had my first "experience" recently and it reaffirmed for me that I definitely am bi-sexual, which is wonderful as I have no doubts now. I'm excited to continue to learn about myself and finding this community is such a relief as I don't really have many people that I can talk to about this, that "get it". Thank you for reading and I look forward to chatting to you all . Bi-Curious Wife
  4. 7 points
    Hi - I've just joined - I've had a look around the site - and you ladies seem super lovely and this seems like the kind of space I'm looking for. I did look at other sites which weren't really my cup of tea. I'm married to a heterosexual man. I've told him I'm bi, but I doubt he remembers as I don't really talk that much about it. When I told him he said he didn't care what I was so long as I didn't cheat with anyone (monogamous). Which at the time was a commitment I was happy to make. But over the years this keeps bubbling up in me and I keep squashing it down, saying to myself that this is the choice I made. But now, for the past few years, I've been going through a period of self-acceptance, self-compassion and really just coming to terms with who I am, all of me, not just bits of me, and my bisexuality isn't something I want to put back in a box anymore. I assumed that being bisexual was a behaviour thing and so being in a monogamous hetero marriage meant I couldn't be one. And I had to choose between who I was and my marriage. But since exploring this further I've read stuff online and realise this is also about identity, regardless of behaviour. My marriage isn't in a good place - largely due to the fact that I now have self-worth and boundaries which is putting huge communication and connection issues between us. I don't want to make my bisexuality a part of that mix because I think he'll blame everything on that rather than taking responsibility for his role in our marriage breaking down. But I also feel like not saying anything means I'm still hiding and I'm really done with editing myself. But then a friend of mine said maybe don't try to do everything at once. Deal with one thing at a time or its overwhelming. I have kissed girls and was briefly with a girl before I met my husband. I just always assumed that I'd be with him for a few years and then there'd be time to explore this more without me having to make a choice between myself and breaking my husband's heart. But that didn't happen. I do still love him. It just doesn't feel like it works anymore. So this is where I am, and I joined the site because I just wanted somewhere safe to share this and the things I'm going through, and maybe find a community of other people dealing with stuff in varying degrees like this.
  5. 6 points
    Hi ladies, some of you may know that not too long ago I came out to my hubby that I am gay. He took the news surprisingly well and told me his only fear was loosing me but other than that he was glad that I told him. A few days later he approached me and told me he wanted to talk to me. I was a little nervous since it was only a few days earlier that I gave him the news that I am gay. He told me he had been doing a lot of thinking and wanted to know if I would like to go to an adult club...not a strip club but a swingers club. I thought about it a little and then told him I would not pass on the opportunity to check it out. As the days passed we talked in more detail about the swingers club and the possibility of having an open relationship. We are both pretty free spirited people so these conversations were very smooth and comfortable. At first he suggested that if we were to try anything he wanted us to try things as a couple with a girl which i had no objection to. I was completely blown away by how well he is taking everything. Then he surprised me even more, he told me that he did not want to limit my experiences and if I wanted to look for a girl/gf for myself that he would be supportive. I almost cried. I've had to deny who I am for so long that I was expecting he would never allow me this opportunity and the fact that he is ok with it is absolutely amazing! He told me that he has seen a change in me since I came out to him, that I am more happy, I smile more and I don't look stressed. And to tell you all the truth, I am so happy now having come out of the closet and not having to hide my sexuality anymore. We both agreed that we have a open relationship and we have to discuss everything with each other. I promised him I would not hide anything from him and I won't. If I can tell him I'm gay I believe I can tell him anything. I just feel so happy to have someone in my life that for once is supportive and understanding. I just had to share the news with you ladies
  6. 5 points
    Last few months ive noticed ive been fantasising a lot about married women. Especially women from north america and the UK. In my single days i had flirted with a few married/coupled females. Nothing more than that. I am closeted as i am from a conservative background so i can relate. Maybe its a weird fantasy but kind of dreamt of being the one who could fulfil a married womans sexual/romantic/emotional same sex fantasy. That she would dream of me while being with her husband. It would be discreet and involve phone sex. A hidden secret known only to a few. I would be the good friend and baby sitter by day and super bi lover at night or evening. There is also that element of the forbidden and being found out. Have any married women come across this scenario of being chased by unmarried women
  7. 5 points
    What a hot wet group!!! I too am a fan of hot and heavy messages...
  8. 5 points
    I haven’t been around a lot lately so haven’t read ALL the posts but I have seen what’s been going on, so I’m gonna chime in here with my two cents and get right to the point... This argument isn’t really about erotic role play, no one here is knocking a little bit of fun with fantasy, many of us have engaged in it to some degree. The point is, and the only point that I BELIEVE @lsroses was intending to make, is that shybi is a support site, not a portal into the wonderful world of fantasy. This site has always been showcased as a community of women who like women supporting one another. Yes there is flirting here, and yes there are erotic stories here, and quite a bit of talk about sex and fantasy. BUT, the kind of erotic role play that has been going on over the last couple of weeks, in several threads, by various members is portraying a completely different view of shybi. We are giving the impression that this is a place where women should come to get their kink on and fulfill their fantasies. It’s taking away from the reputation that has been building for over a decade, which is, this is a support site, not a dating site, not a hookup site, not a place to get your sexual kicks. There are many platforms on the internet for those things, shybi is one of the only places, and I believe, the best for offering support. There are a couple of different outside groups that members here have created to sort of replace the chatroom and naughty forums that used to exist here but will not likely return. There are threads here talking about some of those spaces, as sort of a private extension of shybi if you’re interested in checking those out. This is not an attack on anyone, just a defence on the beloved nature of shybi
  9. 5 points
    Oh my very dear Rani. It was a knife stabbing in my heart to read such words. There could be all sorts of things I could say in response that would really just be trite pablum. Things like “the sun will come up tomorrow” or other such useless nonsesense. So, considering the whole matter, I thought maybe it would be better to just cut through all the bull, and just say what it is my mind. Yes, the world is full of people who are obnoxious at the furthest extreme, and people who are just simply ignorant at the lesser extreme, and you and your wonderful and precious girlfriend are surrounded by both, the obnoxious in your societies and the ignorant in your families, and everything in between. And you know what? All of those people deserve our pity. They are, in varying degrees just sad and pathetic excuses for human beings, living shadow lives in their own shadow worlds. They have kneeled to the ground and bowed their heads and declared “yes, I will think the way I am supposed to think and behave the way I am supposed to behave, I will let others determine what I think, what I feel and what I am.” And in exchange for bending their knee and bowing the heads and taking the easiest of all easy paths “conformity” they get rewarded. Oh yes indeed. Wonderful rewards of comfortable acceptance, all doors open to them, no discrimination against them (as long as they are white, that is). And all happiness and sunshine, right? Wrong. Absolutely wrong. Reminds of a line in a song “Something I Can Never Have” by Nine Inch Nails: “Grey would be the color, if I had a heart.” All those people who conform? Grey is the color of their heart. Pity them Rani. Pity them. But grey is not the color of your heart, or your girlfriend’s. Oh no. You are a titalee, Rani, a beautiful multi-colored butterfly, dancing amongst the flowers, and cannot be captured. A thing of multicolored beauty shining forth in a grey world. You are a reminder to grey people living their dull grey lives of what they do not have, cannot have. You, Rani, are one of the lucky ones. And as for all you had to say about thoughts of finding a guy. You know best what is in your own mind and heart, not I. But from outside looking in, that certainly sounds like those whispering evil voices of “conformity” whispering in your ear: Find a guy, conform. And then have a little of your real self on the side. Well, obviously that does not work. Not since you clearly have a true and real love for your girlfriend. And again, you know yourself best, ultimately, but I do think you are bisexual -- really there is just too much love within you to be narrowly restricted to one gender -- but this marriage of convenience concept, do think carefully about it, as I know you are. In my youth, I was “doing right things for wrong reasons.” When I decided I was going to “do right things for right reasons,” my life changed dramatically, and a weight was lifted off my soul. So, ultimately, the best advice I can give you Rani is this: don’t do right things for wrong reasons, do right things for right reasons. And never let the titalee be caged, because that would make the world a darker place.
  10. 5 points
    This is my favorite! I am so turned on by detailed messages, or stories that make my imagination go wild. I love receiving them and sending them
  11. 5 points
    Good for you, @Gemini82! I know this is hard, but it’s so important to live your truth. There are several members here who have done this, and I think it’s a lot of men’s worst fears when their wife comes out to them. It’s a very real risk. But your sexuality isn’t something you have a choice about. You’re also showing your daughter about living her truth and not putting the feelings of others ahead of her own, which many women don’t learn for a long time. And you’re right- the girl who changed it all for you will always hold a special place in your heart.
  12. 5 points
    I’ve never been with a woman but I fantasize about it a lot. I would have to say that I think about crazy passionate kissing, lying her down, running my hands over her breasts, kissing her nipples until she’s moaning, then going down on her until she’s thrashing and climax’s. I can just invision the sounds she makes. It gives me chills.
  13. 5 points
    Thank you for your replies ladies. It’s been such a horrid week, I feel like I’ve pulled out my husband’s heart and stamped on it. Even more so tonight as he’s been pleading with me to make it work somehow, but I know in my soul that I can’t. Despite a good family life with our 7 year old daughter, I just can’t live a lie. I can’t be the wife he wants me to be. @Storm9 I thought I would be able to carry on and pretend, I really did. I didn’t see this outcome until it was too late. Thank you @Cloudburst; it’s reassuring to know you’ve done the same. I said those same words to a friend yesterday. The woman I met can’t leave her husband, and I understand that. I would never expect her to, neither would I want her to go through the heartache that I’m in right now. Yet, I too (like @MidnightBabe and @ZoeAnne) just want HER. In time, I will move on, but I can guarantee she will always have a special place in my heart.
  14. 4 points
    I feel kind of weird posting. I'm using this website to be heard, or at least to feel like I'm being heard. I'm open to talking about what I post but I'm not really seeking solutions or answers to my problems just looking for some comfort if that makes sense. Me and my husband have been together for about 9 years. He has a good heart and good intentions but he can be very nasty and mean when he wants to be. He has changed so much since we first got together when i was 17. It was toxic , he would party, do drugs, cheat and on occasion lay his hands on me. I got pregnant quickly after dating him for 3 months and moved in right away. He was 2o when i was 17 when we first met so we got married and my fate was sealed. Things are calm now and his aggression towards me is passive but stings stills. Our sex life is good but I'm lonely now more then ever and this has intensified my thoughts and fantasies of being with a woman. He is pretty controlling as well, so i just gave up on having a life and have no friends. I just feel like i went from being under the rules of my mom to being under the rules of my husband. I know im rambling but my mind is all over the place. I have cheated on my husband with a man once after i found out my husband was in fact sleeping around on me but that was driven by my desire to hurt my husband. Now i want to try and be with a woman if the opportunity arises not to hurt my husband but because i really want to experience it, i want to know if theres something there that im missing. I sometimes have to think of the lesbian porn i watch during sex with my husband and it always makes me almost get 'there' , so i cant ignore my thoughts about it anymore. I wish i could talk to him about it but no matter how i gentle i approach a topic if its about how i feel my husband instantly becomes defensive and shuts down. In a perfect world id have have my husband know my wants and desires and support me exploring them but i dont think he would be ok with it unless he could be a part of it which i dont want. I dont know , im young and im getting older and i dont want to not experience life in fear of my husband's wrath. If the opportunity arose to be with a woman i was attracted to i would take it regardless of my husband knowing or not. I have 3 young kids with my husband and i want us to stay together for their sake as well and i love my husband but so much bad and ugly things have been said and done between us that i feel nothing now when i think of cheating on my husband with a woman, i feel like i deserve to do it in a way. For some reason if i think about cheating on him with a man the guilt is still there and the fear of being caught is there too but when i think about doing it with a woman i feel no shame or remorse. Sorry this is all over the place but thanks to all those who read it, at least im being heard somehow.
  15. 4 points
    Both but I'm finding out that I really dig giving! I'm in a fairly new relationship and I just can't help myself. She's so beautiful, but even more so when she's about to climax. The moans, the flushing or her skin, how her body reacts... I almost get off on that without her even touching me!
  16. 4 points
    Hi everyone. I just stumbled onto this wonderful site earlier today. I’ve been bi-curious for a long time. I am married. My husband has no idea about my secret thoughts. I believe it would hurt him if he knew. I’m encouraged to see others like me and I hope to help discover more about myself.
  17. 4 points
    Ok ladies I love breast as much as the rest of you but, I am very self conscious of my own. I have always been very big breasted to the point it created a lot of back and shoulder problems for me. I was huge and was constantly teased or judged because of them. Yes how people judge you if you have large breast. Let me tell you both men and women will think you are easy even when you’re not women, because they are afraid you are going to try to steal their husbands and men just because they love big breast. I have been married 25 years so no I did not want anyone’s husband even when I was single. So anyways after years of suffering with back, neck and shoulder problems I took the leap and had a breast reduction and lift. I will tell you now I am so happy that I did. My breast are nice and firm like I have never had and I never wear a bra (torture device) anymore. The problem is I am so self conscious of the the scars that I have it has been 2 years and I have tried different oils and scar creams but I think they look horrible. My husband says they are not so bad and they are getting better, but every time I look in the mirror it’s all I can see. I am so scared if I ever meet a beautiful woman she will be horrified by my breast. They look beautiful with clothes on but when the clothes come off what is the reaction going to be? Sorry to ramble on.
  18. 4 points
    Well, sooooo, last night happened. I have a really cute next door neighbor who has become very close to me since May. I’ve opened up to her about my sexuality before and she’s been accepting but has always made it known that she doesn’t swing that way. Looks like she has a bit more flexibility than she lead on. Couple drinks, comparing cute bras, ending up without our clothes and making out, which lead to sucking on her nipples and eating her out, then lead to my husband joining in on the fun. Holy hell. It was amazing. I’ve never had anything like this happen to me in my life and I’m go glad it happened the way it did. It was perfect. I’ve never really been open to the threesome but it was so satisfying. Even the way she pulled my hair as I kissed her clit. Yaaaaas, so good. I’ll have that memory for the rest of my life.
  19. 4 points
    A Reprise If our first time together was beautiful, and intense and magical, then what adjectives can I use if this time was all that x 100?
  20. 4 points
    I am in a relationship with a man but I have been having a sexual attraction to women for the last 10 yrs or so. I've had fantasies of tasting a woman and having her taste me. Sucking on her titties and grinding clit to clit until we both climax and explode in ecstasy. I watch lesbian porn often to get off. Idk what it is but lesbian sex is so sexy and sensual to me & I'm starting to crave it like I crave chocolate during that time of the month lol
  21. 4 points
    I’d plan an over the top musical adventure (maybe a festival or something we both dig), a destination away from home and coordinate plenty of VIP accomodations for us as well as plenty of 1:1 private time. The excitement and music alone will become the beginning of what will be hours long of foreplay and teasing and affection...until the time comes to be in private... From there, I’d start real slow to really torture the senses and then i’d focus on her like i did every lyric, note, harmony and melody played in the hours prior to this moment, she will be very taken care of in every way.
  22. 4 points
    I fantasize often about lesbian sex as well. Having been with a woman it was the most erotic thing to me, I loved every minute of it. Tasting her and her tasting me was so amazing. I also watch lesbian porn, it's the only porn I watch since I don't get turned on by looking at a naked man. Watching two women kiss, caress, and go down on each other is such an amazing sight and turns me on like nothing else.
  23. 4 points
    I have a thing for my yoga instructor this is just a quick one I think about. as I like car makeout sessions. we just had lunch & yoga girl & I Walk to our car to go back to work. In the car we talk about how lunch was nice & then laugh because it’s all so awkward lol. Then we start kissing a little bit ..then passionately with a lot of tounge. Shes moves to my seat and straddles me I reach under her Skirt & put my hand into her panties frim behind ..she is so wet ..I slide a finger into her hot wet pussy she lets out a moan. Then starts grinding up against me breathing heavily into my ear telling me to ***k her.
  24. 4 points
    I understand completely— my husband was emotionally abusive for a long time but it’s calmed down, and the drive to sleep with a woman is getting more and more intense (well, only one I actually want to sleep with). I’m a stay at home mome to 2 boys not school aged yet, one of whom is autistic, so I feel like I need something for myself. I’ve been through a lot in my life and I give 100% of myself 100% of my time to everyone and I neglect my needs/wants. I feel sleeping with a woman is different than cheating with a man. Just my point of view. If/when the opportunity presents itself, I’m jumping on it, and I’m going to let my BFF know this very soon.
  25. 4 points
    Good thinking! But also do remember to have a good sense of judgement because some women might cause you more trouble. There are also a LOT of women who are not sure of what they want and when you are ready to jump, that's the time they will run away. This will leave you sulking and feeling dejected. Also, know about your SELF. What do you want when opportunity comes? . Some opportunities are only given only to last for the moment or for the night. Nothing personal but I don't want your number, you don't need to give me your number. Or an opportunity that comes back again and again. Or something like a "booty call." It is important that you know what you want and your expectation.
  26. 4 points
    I'll never forget the first time I had sex with a woman. I remember it just like it was yesturday. I just moved into my new home and my friend (who later became my gf) came into the bedroom where I was to help me unpack. There wasn't even a bed in the room yet. As we unpacked my stuff I kept catching her watching me. I would smile at her and then go back to what I was doing. Suddenly I stopped what I was doing and walked up to her. We gazed into each others eyes for a moment and then she softly kissed me. The kiss was soft and gentle at first then exploded into passion filled hard kissing. While we were kissing our hands were exploring each others bodies and slowly articles of clothing were removed slowly exposing our naked bodies. I loved holding her breasts in my hands and i kissed her neck. She would moan as she reached up to slide her fingers inside of me. I moaned and then laid her down on the floor and we had the most amazing sex i have ever had. She would arch her back every time i went down on her and it was the most amazing feeling ever. Her body was beautiful and I took my time exploring every inch of her body.
  27. 4 points
    I LOVE hot and heavy messages.....in private......so I can be specific to the one person it's meant for! Getting to know someone, making that connection, finding out what makes them tick and hitting those virtual "sweet spots" of their imagination......really gets me going!! Now, seriously, I don't want to spoil your fun, and I love a cheeky thread, but I feel like this is quite personal. Normally I would just ignore it, but some of the newbies threads are getting lost in a sea of posts following very private scenarios between you, and has led to people thinking they're being ignored and leaving. However, you could really go to town with this in a group pm!!....just saying, seeing as you guys are on a roll here and should definitely enjoy it if it's doing something for you. Just might be time to move it between you? You can hate me.....It's fine
  28. 4 points
    I think most women would say your breasts are beautiful. I know i would. It's the same with scars, wrinkles, creases etc its part of your life journey and like you they would be beautiful as well. If a girl or someone likes you for who you are those superficial differences will not matter. It wouldn't be a turn off. In fact I would probably take extra care that my girl feels loved in exactly those places she thinks are flaws. Because for me those flaws are hidden perfections. My gf has had a few childhood traumatic accidents including a car accident. A few burn marks on her legs. She still retains some bruises/scars from that. For me those are marks of bravery and courage. When we make love i try to pay extra attention to those areas where she feels conscious.
  29. 4 points
    Hi @BCurious. Welcome to the site. As you browse more, you’ll soon to find that there are many like you who are here. Many of us here are not fully out. My advice to you is take your time. You don’t have to come out to your family or close friends if you think it’s not safe for your spirit. Meaning, don’t let anyone, at this point, put your spirit down to the ground. Having said this, surround yourself with people who aren’t judgmental and accept who you are. I always say this here for newbies: Work on loving and accepting yourself completely and the opinion of others won’t matter to you anymore. You may be bicurious or bisexual. Only you will know this during your journey. Have an open mind and heart. Explore more, take risks if you need too. I hope that instead of fear, amazement and joy fill your inner being most through your journey. Lastly, come visit the site often. Ask questions. Read the forums. Goodluck. Enjoy
  30. 4 points
    My imagination turns me on today and every day. When I see another female that I'm attracted to it makes me imagine what it would be like to be intimate with her. I think ,most of us experience this but few act on our urges. It's easier to imagine what could be but difficult to fulfill our fantasies.
  31. 4 points
    Hello all, I'm new to the site. I stumbled upon it after typing, "Married but Bi-Curious" into the browser. I've read quite a few posts and I'm glad there is a site for women like me who are married but curious AF about women. While I've never been with a woman, I've been fantasizing about my BF for years. My husband knows and supports my decision to perhaps experiment with a woman. Only problem is...not sure how to go about finding the right chick to do that with. My BF is also married and has flirted with me a ton but she is afraid to talk to her husband about it.
  32. 4 points
    @just_me_laurie2 yes, exactly! My hubs is 8 yrs older than I am so our sex life isn't quite what I'd like it to be but he tries his best. Even if sex was a regular occurrence for us, there is still a part of me that wants to experiment with a woman
  33. 4 points
    Brave, brave woman @Gemini82. It's so easy to continue along a path that is unsatisfying but not overtly threatening. It takes great courage to forge a new, unpredictable, reality. We have nothing but the greatest admiration for you. Please don't hesitate to come for support any time you feel you need it. Godspeed my dear Ame
  34. 4 points
    Originally I would have said no. But, then I met someone who is incredible. She lives about 4 hours away, which isn’t horrible, but she isn’t here. One thing I’ve realized is that, at least for me, when you video each other, send pictures, etc., you notice the little things about them. You memorize their smile, their eyes, how their lips move when they talk, everything. I’m not sure you would do that if you were face to face. I know I’ve never done that when I was face to face with someone. We keep in contact throughout the whole day, and we’re open with everything. When she or I feel insecure about something, we talk about it and work through it because it’s our job, whether we’re in physical proximity of each other or not, to make the other person feel secure. We haven’t met, but will soon. It’s going to be worth it when I have her in my arms. If you have a truly deep connection with someone, don’t let distance stop you.
  35. 4 points
    Thank you for your replies ladies, it means a lot. An update: my bravery started to run out over the past few days, but I was lucky to have support in my life to help me see the bigger picture and be honest to myself and my husband. He has been desperate to make things work, clutching at straws and offering me different scenarios to try and keep our marriage. But I know that I couldn’t fulfill his wants and needs, and I can see that he felt out of control and was trying to claw some of it back. Yesterday, despite not wanting to, he filed for divorce. Today we tell our daughter and in 10 days the house will be photographed to go on the market. All these things fill me with dread, but I know in my gut that it is the right thing to do.
  36. 4 points
    So there are lot of ways this whole being married and faithful for decades thing can play out if both people communicate. This is something that many couples have worked out over time and as relationships evolve. My advise is don’t be hopeless about it if there is even a little bit of flexibility within the marriage, anything is possible.
  37. 4 points
    I appreciate @zzz_girl‘s sharing her experiences but I don’t think those are the only options for everyone: either have to go chasing sex every night with random people or have daily sex with one person while fantasizing about other people and feeling guilty about it. i mean you could have a partner who is ok with you having other experiences. You could open up to a friend and they can be accepting of your feelings. You could have a long term loving relationship with more than one person at a time... there are a lot more possible outcomes and you can read about many of them on this site. It’s of course good to be careful and consider the consequences, but I would just caution thinking those are the only possible outcomes.
  38. 4 points
    Zzz-girl, you sharing your story has been exactly what a part of me needed to hear: a cautionary tale. Because I have had this rather evil little voice inside my head, pushing me and pestering me, telling me, “well maybe you should go ahead and confess to your friend that you are attracted to her, and then maybe you won’t feel so guilty if she knows.” But then what? I mean, really, what is the point of telling her? And the little evil voice whispers to me “well, maybe she will confess to having some of the same feelings toward you, and that would make you feel good, to know that, wouldn’t it?” Yes, it would. But then what? And the evil voice whispers “Well, maybe the two of you could have just a little intimate physical contact, nothing extreme, pants stay on, just above the waist stuff, maybe over the top of the clothes stuff, that would be so wonderful and you could enjoy that so much and it would satisfy you, and that would, technically not really be cheating, a kiss would not be cheating, you are not cheating as long as your pants stay on…” Such are the things that devious despicable evil little voice in my head is whispering to me. And sometimes, it is so hard not to listen to it, sometimes I would find myself starting to listen, starting to think, well maybe …. But then I read your post, and it is exactly the splash of cold water on my face that I very much needed. I see the wisdom in your words, and that you are speaking from experience, the very painful experience of making a terrible mistake. With those words, maybe I can silence the evil voice in my head that keeps pushing me where I should not go. That keeps trying to push me to make a very very big mistake. I will not make that mistake. I will not mess up my wonderful relationship with my husband. And I will also not mess up the truly wonderful and very valuable friendship I have with this woman. They are both far too valuable to me just they way they are. And it would be pure insanity to risk messing all that up, and for what? Just to have an orgasm? Thank you so so much for giving me that cold water on the face . {{{hug}}}
  39. 4 points
    Thank you for sharing and good luck to you. I am also at the point where I would rather be alone than living a lie. I am ready to move forward, find a happier life.
  40. 4 points
    I did the exact same thing. I'd rather be alone and honest with who I am then to go on pretending to be someone I'm not. Wishing you the best.
  41. 4 points
    I sympathize with every single word you just wrote. I am in mostly exactly the same position. I am older than you and have been married for much longer than you, but that is the only difference. I do agonize over the incredible desire I feel for physical intimacy with a woman versus the fact I too would never be unfaithful to my husband. I have no "help" I can offer. It is, honestly, a dilema with no solution, because moving down either path carries it's terrible price: Choose to be with a woman and then have to live with the guilt of betraying your husband. Or, stay faithful, and live with unfulfilled and frustrated desires. For me, in my situation, the choice really is simple: My husband is too good a man, and I owe him too much for all that he has given me. He has been not just my husband but my very best friend. And he has always done right by me. So I have to choose him. And sooo, there I sit .... looking over at woman and all sorts of images, scenarios flashing through my mind, all sorts of acts and positions and techniques, all imaginable scenarios, from slow slow soft passion all the way to the other extreme of agressive forceful lust....all of that playing through my mind. Yes, it is a kind of torture. But, then, there are a few things I remind myself of before I let myself get too down and depressed over this: 1) Fantasizing and dreaming, just in itself, is still pretty darn fun and enjoyable, really, and certainly enough to enable achieving an orgasm. 2) In the fantasy world, everything is perfection and nothing goes amiss or doesn't work out, as it sometimes can in the real world. My dream woman, and the dream sex with her, is always perfection, always ends in a wonderful climax. Would I be guaranteed that in the real world? Perhaps, but perhaps not necessarily so. Fantasy is free, no strings attached. A fantasy is not cheating on a husband. A fantasy is there for you anytime, anyplace. A fantasy is always perfect. So, perhaps, our solution for our mutual shared problem is just the full embrace and acceptance of Fantasyland, take up residence there every now and then, and enjoy what we can. I am making a full commitment to my Fantasyland by working on writing some erotica. I do find that a bit of an outlet. I can enter the world of the characters I am creating, and through them live that alternate life. Also, this site, and all these wonderful ladies here, the opportunity to have discussions about sex with them, to hear their stories, and the opportunity to share fantasies with these ladies, that is really pretty awesome too.
  42. 3 points
    @C00kie and @California shy oh ladies. My motto is ‘who better then a women to know what women wants.’ Someday .... fingers crossed we’ll get there!
  43. 3 points
    Yes, it is all over the place, and you, my dear, are really rambling. But the site is created and provided ESPECIALLY for the souls like you (at least that's what I believe) - lost, hurt, questioning. yearning for woman touch and longing for comfort. Let alone the the fact that you've got a controlling husband. Many women here, too, have or had a man in their life such as yours. You said that you were not asking or looking for a solution..RIGHT NOW (I think). You only want to be heard. Let me tell you, you are being heard. I hear you and many more women here will come and hear and listen to you. You're in the right place and you are safe here. Come back every now and then to the site. CONTINUE your CONVERSATION with us. Sometimes, it's a bit slow here but there are times when it's full of lovely ladies causing traffic here (lol). We all are different as well so you will see posts that varies from a simple "what makes you smile today" to more steamy "do you prefer strap on or real dick." All are tolerated (at a certain point, hahaha). Overall, this is a haven, a refuge for women like you and me. Cheer up. You'll be alright. -Blue-
  44. 3 points
    I've never actually been with a girl, but it's almost all I can think about! I have so many fantasies of public hook ups, oral sex, and the such. Is this only me? I need somebody to teach me/help me learn, or even just to talk to!
  45. 3 points
    Wow this whole thread is such an interesting conversation. It was certainly something that was on my mind, something I was puzzling over about what was going on in my own inner psychology – the fact that I loved and got off on playing submissive with my husband. The fact when he asked me to do a role reversal and be Dom over him, I tried, but I just couldn’t get into it, we mostly just laughed a lot, but it also definitely turned me off trying to do that with my husband. But then, fantasizing about women, sometimes …. My thoughts and desires would start leaning towards wanting to take charge, wanting to tie her up, wanting to be commanding towards her and getting off, not on giving the commands, but on seeing her surrender to them …. And I thought to myself, why am I that way? So reading all these posts, it is an interesting debate here. A societal cultural thing bred into me? Bow to the man and take your proper place beneath him … but in being with a woman, Society has not dictated any thing to me on what constitutes proper behavior for a woman together with a woman, and so… what then? My true self emerges when with a woman? Possible, but that didn’t seem quite right either ….Because my try self, I know with certainty, is not “domineering” at all. I then I read your post there BenedettaC, and I think you real cut through to something at the core. The submissive really is the one in control. And I can see the perspective that it does take great strength to be the submissive – I can recall having to muster some very great strength indeed, literally and figuratively, to be the submissive to my husband for one of things he did to me. And…I felt very pleased with my self for having the power and the strength to do that. I actually felt like I had really, well, accomplished something, as silly as that sounds. I withstood it, and emerged on the other side intact, and had great fun doing it. Acting as the Dom, as I would like to with a woman, that carries a great deal of responsibility, and in a certain sense is also a great deal of work, so there is a sense that by being the Dom, and seeking my Submissive’s pleasure, taking my pleasure from seeing her have pleasure, then really I am the submissive’s ultimate slave, right? And THAT most definitely does fit my personality. What a complex and interesting subject. And by the way. Just have to throw my 2 cents, er 50 cents into the whole 50 Shades thing. I LOVED 50 Shades of Grey, I LOVED 50 Shades Darker, I really really loved Grey (loved it the most of all of them) with the cleverness (and not so easy task) of retelling the story from the guy’s perspective. And I did not much care for 50 Shades Freed (yawn). But for all those who poo-poo 50 Shades, I understand why you do and you have a good point. But I look at it this way. The author was, after all, not trying to be the next Hemingway or Steinbeck. She was just having fun, and thanks to her, I had a helleva lot of fun in my bed at night, and could hand my hubby some instructions and say, "see? read that, now lets you and me play that scene out ourselves." (sometimes a guy really does need written instructions -- they are not always particularly creative themselves in bed). I look at it as a food analogy. 50 Shades was a Cheeseburger and Fries. And cheeseburgers are damn good to eat. But I hardly think it is fair to complain that 50 Shades was not Filet Mignon with asparagus and a glass of wine. So, in other words, I think both sides are right. 50 Shades was decidedly unimpressive, BUT, 50 Shades was decidedly fun -- I'll always love cheeseburgers. The movies though, eecch, I am a harsh movie critic, so I will just leave that alone.
  46. 3 points
    Hi! I've often wondered if there were women like me and reading the posts that I've read, it seems like there are. I have two kids, with my boyfriend for 3 years, but my desire for women is just getting stronger and I felt like this site was what I needed. To relate to others in the same position I'm in. Talking to someone who can relate or just enjoy conversation when you need it because you've had a bad day or "he just doesn't understand", is something I want. My boyfriend knows I've had other women, but I do have issues with accepting it myself sometimes. I want to remain faithful to my boyfriend and plan on staying with him, but I maybe need something he doesnt give me? And sometimes having people that can relate to you is grounds for a wonderful friendship.
  47. 3 points
    I have been married to my husband for 16 years now. I did not realize I was bisexual until about a year ago. I wasn't conscious of it. I should have known, but I tried to deny it back when I was teenager. Not good. That messed me up later on, like last year. I was a lot screwed up last year. I had the dreams and the feelings about women like you. For a bit I thought maybe I was a lesbian. I had an affair with a female friend, tried the open relationship thing (huge failure), and then my husband and I split up for a few months and I had some sexual relationships with other men. What I learned was that I really am bisexual. For me, it is more about the person and less about the gender. I have equal appreciation and attraction to men and women. I'm pretty secure in my sexual identity now. That's good at least. I also figured out that I want to be in a monogamous relationship with my husband. There are so many people in this world that I am attracted to, and sure sex with them would be fun for a little while, but most of those relationships go no where. I've got kind of a high sex drive. I have to have sex every day or I just go crazy. Being separated it was like I spent the whole week trying to find people just to get sex at least once a week. That sucked. I don't really like getting with a different person all the time. I got sick of that pretty fast. I really wanted someone that I could be close with, someone I could spend most of my time with, someone who was always going to be there for me, someone who was fun to be with, someone I could have sex with like every day (LOL). I wanted a real relationship. It didn't matter if it was a man or woman. This person didn't need to be the sexiest person alive (LOL). They just need to get me. I already had that with my husband and I realized the relationship I had with him was the most valuable thing I could ever have. I was lucky that he wanted to get back together with me too. Now I have to work to prove I'm trustworthy all over again because I cheated though. Never again. I already went through all that. What I tell myself now is it is ok to be attracted to other people, but I can't act on that and throw away my awesome relationship with my husband. It is hard because I would like to screw a whole bunch of other people if there were absolutely no consequences, but in the world that we live in there are consequences for that. You either can have one awesome, deep relationship that lasts a lifetime or you can spend your whole life trying to hook up with people and being sexually frustrated because good hook ups get harder to come by as you get older plus hook ups are not mentally and emotionally satisfying. I also really messed stuff up by having sex with my friend. I fell for her. She just wanted to hook up. I was really hurt. We tried to be friends. She did a bunch of other messed up stuff. I felt like I couldn't be emotionally close with her any more because she hurt me so much, yet I still wanted to have sex with her. It was a disaster. We basically aren't friends anymore. We have common friends though and that creates a lot of weirdness that I'm going to have to put with for the rest of my life. Anyhow, my point is, don't act on your sexual feelings right away. Think long and hard about the consequences and realize that what seems like you might want right now might not actually be what you want in the end. Women are attractive, but they can hurt you just like any man can. I think women probably can hurt you worse mentally and emotionally. I thought I knew my friend. I did not. Consider that what you think you know might not be the whole story. If you have a solid relationship with someone who gives you most of what you need, then I would say keep that relationship. Don't expect that you will be able to trade up.
  48. 3 points
    @CallistoDidNotWin - Writing is indeed a wonderful outlet for all sorts of feelings, but in my experience, erotic writing tends to act as a sexual stimulant rather than having a calming influence on one's libido... But then posting erotic writing online, here or elsewhere, often has the effect of drawing the interest of women...terribly horny, libidinous women...so you may find that the outcome is beneficial in a different way than you had anticipated...
  49. 3 points
    Not my cup of tea either, prefer cocoa..
  50. 3 points
    The challenge makes it more exciting I guess.. Rainbow item on your body or a thumb ring could be a sign. Rainbow scarf Let's invent some signs