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  1. 20 points
    I just got what I've wanted for so long. I can still taste her on my lips. I can still smell her. She tastes amazing. She smells amazing. She looked beautiful. The sounds she made. The way she arched her back. The way she looked at me. The intensity of her staring into my eyes and smiling while i could feel her fingers inside me. Everything else faded away. I kept wondering if it was really happening. My bra and panties are still at her house, they're hopelessly lost for tonight. I don't give a fuck because of how that came to be. I have other bras, and she'll find mine tomorrow and remember why it's there. I almost got to fall asleep in her arms. But there were interruptions. She was asleep before the interruptions. (My dog is an asshole and wouldn't shut up... dog, husband and i ended up going home because of that). I only wish i could have fallen asleep in her arms. Held her close. Woken up with her. Gone down on her again in the morning. Saw that face she made again. And before i left, after she was asleep, her fiance thanked me for fucking her. And i thanked him for allowing me to. After nearly 4 years of wanting her... Did this really happen?? Holy fuck.
  2. 19 points
    I just wanted to make a short introduction. Glad I stumbled upon this website. Was being a little douche-y and browsing the forums for a few days before mustering up enough courage to actually sign up. Even though, one can be as anonymous as one wants on here, I am still feeling a bit nervous and cautious. Been married for 14 years with two beautiful children. Absolutely in love with my husband. Feel extremely grateful for my life and all that I've been provided. However, just like a lot of ladies on here (remember stalky me was reading up on you guys?!), I have always felt attraction towards other women since forever. I had casually mentioned that to my husband when we were dating and he had made comments like, "oh too bad, you missed your chance" and "let's have a threesome!" We both knew that was just a lighthearted banter going nowhere. Plus, we are not that adventurous. Over the years, we'd talk about who we found attractive and agreed we had the same type! Again, this was all just talk. He is a pretty straight vanilla guy who just happens to be open minded enough to have chats like that. Him and I have an incredible relationship, he is my best friend and our greatest strength is healthy communication. Well, I had a very honest conversation about wanting to have an experience with a woman before I turned 40. Like a goober, I was hoping he'd give me his blessings and maybe even help coordinate! In reality, that conversation got quite intense and I think at that point, he may have realized that I was serious about it ...I had always been serious about it. He basically said that his biggest fear was that I'd leave him for a woman and he will be devastated. That broke my heart. And I kept reassuring him that, that wasn't going to happen. I have told him several times and I've meant every bit of it, that he is all the man I need or want and what I am curious about is something he can't give me. Our last conversation on this topic ended with him saying that he would like me to be happy and we have one life to live so if I want to experiment, I'd have to do it in secret. He wouldn't be able to be ok with it. I don't want to hurt him but I also agree with him that I should be able to experience what I think will bring me joy. I have found certain people attractive off and on throughout my life. I am finding it to be true more so now than before. I have never been with a woman before but I have a very strong feeling that I will love it provided the stars are aligned and the chemistry is there. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I can't see myself being the initiator. I am hoping it'll all happen organically. That's the only way I can justify it with minimal amount of guilt. Guilt. That's another topic for another day. Sigh. I have NEVER admitted to being bicurious to anyone other than my husband so writing this post has been terrifying as well as liberating. Thanks for reading and thanks for allowing me to be part of this community. I promise to keep my douchery to a minimum! Cheers.
  3. 16 points
    Shybi is a truly unique space. When I rocked up here. I’d had a fair bit of experience in the obvious areas and the meaningful ones too. But I wasn’t comfortable. At first I thought this had nothing to do with my sexuality. I assumed Shybi was a meet up board by the way. Didn’t read the about or the rules. I obviously realized in a few seconds! I remember think oh well, nevermind. I was starving that day and overtired and my casual date had cancelled, but I stayed and read a few topics and thought - hey, I can reply to that! My life was a bit of a mess but I hadn’t connected that my sexual being and even my ability to love a person could exist fully, while still feeling pain, stress and shame about living an almost split life as a result. I’d actually shut down communicating with the people who mattered, just enough to keep us going along - it’s possible to be well matched with more than one person, only to realize that all of you need to work on yourselves as individuals and that compromise in a relationship can become self-sabotage without you even realizing. So I stuck around went through some harder times - AKA the cryptic status updates, for any of the older members who remember! Somehow supporting and interacting with you all made me feel useful. Despite having quite a lot in my life at the time, I didn’t feel that. Over time, your thoughts, feelings and experiences started to have this affect on me. As some of you were questioning yourselves and sharing your journeys, I began to look at myself and saw that I did have insecurities surrounding my sexuality, I responded and supported in the way that was and still is most authentic to me and I was surprised by how natural that felt. By being here, I was able to reconnect with myself and remember that my sexuality is part of me, it’s not an add-on that I need to sideline or usher away, I’m not the shout it from the rooftops kinda woman, but I am excited by the prospect of living, loving and experiencing again. The diversity here has enabled me to understand women better. Sounds silly, but since joining Shybi I understand and empathize more - I often don’t agree but I think without even realizing it, I was repressing parts of myself. Although I’ve always struggled to relate to women from a young age, the opposite of what many of you say, and that’s improved too. I’ve been on here 4 years? So I’ve had time to slowly work things out. Having said that, all of my close girlfriends are similar in nature and we do pretty much cover the spectrum and I’m lucky to have that, but I hadn’t talked to them about anything personal/relationships in years. Pretty ironic, you’ve gay and bisexual friends and it never comes up? Well it did and I was once pretty open, but I spent about half a decade, essentially locked in internalized homophobia. I didn’t see it setting in and so it’s no big deal they stop asking and you talk about other things. For me it came from a place of now your female, non-white, from a low background and it doesn’t matter that you’re almost totally fine, you’re still gonna be registered disabled and you won’t get picked first, second or third - so you can’t be bisexual as well, sorry. If you want to succeed while hitting every point of intersectionality, something’s gotta give. I’d constructed a fragile sense of self-worth from the only part I had control over. But then one day last year I woke up in hospital, half a decade had passed and while I’d survived, I hadn’t live. I’d been relentless in my pursuit that I failed my way to success, but the rest of my life was empty. I spent the rest of that year not just building a life, but building myself. You can do, go and change as many times as you like - it's gonna happen anyway might as well get on board! Now I've got choices, I'm well, I'm content and who know what's out there? Surely, in the long-term, in order to become the best version of yourself, you’ve got to accept the whole package and work it out as you go along. It also happens my package includes an obsession with building things, vision and how to make things better. Shybi has made me better, you've all made better so I’ve gotta accept that hopefully it'll work out in the end too. I don't want to watch it happen. I would immediately fund the site further, if I thought more of you could see what I see. But that’s ok - Shys is a wonderful place if you give it a chance in any state. @la-femme has changed so many lives, I really hope she lets you give back to the site and everyone comes together. Now feels like a good time for me to leave the island. I’m starting a new chapter offline, so perhaps it's a sign, that I’m ready. With any luck they’ll be a new and improved site for me to check out one day and if not I truly appreciate the time and the space, spent here with all of you.
  4. 15 points
    I am bisexual.. I have always had an attraction to both men and women. I have never been in a relationship with a woman, other than friendship and some crushes.. which left me crushed. I am happily married. I met my husband 6 years ago this month. I was open to a deeper type of relationship at the time and looking to settle down. Our relationship isn't perfect, but we are pretty perfect for each other. - We work together as parents and as a couple which is very important to me. So, why do I feel like I still want to be with a woman sexually? - There are times, when it's an overwhelming sensation.. I can't stop thinking about meeting someone in a similar situation and having a sort of "friends with benefits" - "girlfriend" - I even have a difficult time describing it. So can you have both? Can you be happy in your marriage and still be attracted to women? Is this what being truly bisexual really feels like? A tug of war where you find yourself one day looking at a man and thinking "wow.. he is hot." And then another looking at a woman and think "she is so beautiful or sexy." - although 90% of the time I end of having more sexual fantasies when I see a woman than a man. - Perhaps it's because I haven't been sexually with a woman in so long.. - sometimes I just feel a bit lost.
  5. 15 points
    So, a few years ago now when I first became a moderator here I decided to write a blog explaining my life to date, my journey if you will. A little background on the woman who'd become your new mod. But, after deciding to leave shybi shortly after, I deleted that blog along with my profile before I left. Looking back at that now it seems kinda foolish, mostly because I didn't back up a copy before I erased it, and because of that here I sit at my keyboard once again. At the moment I'm trying to remember what I shared, but my memory isn't my best feature so I guess I'm starting this from scratch. So here goes... This will likely be my only blog, like an extension of my profile if you will. Just to let you all know who I am and why I'm here. Maybe I can help some of you with my story in the process. I'm not one to overshare usually, not with strangers anyway, but I do like to use my experiences in life in order to help others, so I'll try to do this without going into too much detail. My story began like a lot of women here, growing up I always felt different to the other girls. I was very close in age to my sister and cousin and so the 3 of us were brought up like siblings and spent most days together. When they'd have dolls and pretty dresses, I'd have cars, climb trees and get dirty. Now I don't want to sound like your typical uneducated idiot who believes girls should have dolls and boys should have cars, I believe in giving children whatever toy most interests them, there's no girl or boy toys in my house, but at that young age it made me feel like I was different because I wasn't your "typical girl" like them. As I got older they started to discover make up, and do each other's hair, and I'd be out playing sports and not giving a crap about how I looked. All my friends were boys, I did try and make friends with girls but I just didn't feel comfortable being around them because they didn't like what I liked. It wasn't until I was 12 that I finally became best friends with a girl. She was nothing like me, she loved make up, and boys (something I'd never even thought about). We would spend a lot of time in her room listening to music which was something we both loved, and talking about whatever pop star we had a crush on. I didn't really notice boys at that point, but I went along with it because I wanted her to like me. We did everything together, we were always together, then I started to develop feelings, for her. At that point I told myself it was wrong, that it wasn't how things were meant to be. In the end I became really jealous every time she spoke to any other girls, and maybe that became more and more obvious to her, then after a while we were no longer friends anymore. I was devastated. Told myself I'd not let that happen again and went back to making friends with boys until my late teens. I think this was the realisation for me that I was different, but because I felt it was wrong I hid it from everyone and tried to push it down inside me hoping if I ignored it long enough it would go away. I was 19 before I got into my first serious relationship with a man. I never really trusted them to be honest, things had happened in my past that made me very wary of them, and so it wasn't easy for me to even talk to them never mind trust them. We met over the phone, we started texting on some chat function our phones had back then. It was 2003 and not a lot of people I knew had the internet, nor did we have the flash phones we have these days. He was very sweet and kind, he told me his story, I told him mine, we connected in a way I never had with anyone else and we met after talking for 11 months. He travelled around 200 miles to come see me where I live, he met my family and was the perfect gentleman. Everyone loved him. I had an inkling back then that even though he was this wonderful amazing man that loved me no matter what, that something just wasn't right about us. I put it down to my anxiety and having little experience with relationships. I'd struggled many years with health issues, which I told him all about, he understood when I told him about my depression and anxiety issues, because he himself had them too. But when it came to my physical health issues it was a new thing for him. But he surprised me, he was completely understanding, accepting, and patient. You see I've had a genetic connective tissue disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome since birth, you hear about it a lot more these days but back then it was unheard of. I suffered with daily joint dislocations and pain, not to mention all the other wonderfully gruesome stuff that comes along with it. It didn't phase him, he was there during surgeries, hospital appointments, medication trials, he saw me go through some of the worst years of my life. He was also the first person I told about my attraction to women, again it didn't phase him at all. He was completely understanding of my admission that I was bicurious, which is essentially what it was back then, and told me that as long as I was always honest with him and never unfaithful, he had no problems with this. That's when things started to turn kinda pear shaped in my eyes. He kinda gave me that acceptance that I'd always looked for, and I started to notice women a lot more after that. I would often comment on a beautiful woman when I was with him and he'd laugh and agree. Then it progressed, once again I made a female best friend. I was new to the internet and we kinda met online, we spent many years being the best of friends, telling each other everything, sharing stuff that girls share with their besties, but we never actually met which I think helped me avoid temptation. It took a while to develop but I started to have feelings for her. So I went to my boyfriend and told him, he made the odd joke here and there and referred to us as "the lesbians" when in our company. We'd just laugh it off, sometimes I would make a comment that was maybe overstepping for him but because she would respond to it, in a jokey fashion, he seemed okay with it. I crushed on that girl for so many years, but like the previous friend we drifted apart. She moved on with her life, got a boyfriend, and we just stopped talking as much as we used to. I was so sad, it was like I'd ended a romantic relationship. My boyfriend could see it too, he tried his best to even help us reconnect but it never happened and so I just moved on with my life too. Had a big surgery after that and he was my rock through the recovery, learning to do things as simple as walking again, but as always was very understanding and patient. He asked me to marry him shortly after, and I said yes. Fast forward to the day I joined shybi, it was 2011 and myself and my fiancé had been together for almost 8 years. We were happy enough I guess, things never did seem right but I thought maybe it was because we'd been together a long time and relationships do change over long periods of time. I didn't talk to him anymore about my feelings for women, I kept it all bottled up inside and hoped it would go away, after all I was engaged now and so what did it matter. But the years took their toll on me and I found myself more and more unhappy. Then I found this place. I was randomly looking online, searching the terms "bicurious" and "bisexual" and I guess trying to understand it. That's when I came across this place. It was like an Aladdin's cave I must admit, I was incredibly keen, ask any of the old mods here what I was like haha. It was like I'd finally found a place I could be me. I didn't want to come over as depressing, nor did i want anyone to know of my disabilities, and so I decided to create a persona, and that is when "Rocky" was born. I was a huge flirt, I think I hit on every girl who showed an interest in me. I posted all over the forums too, I had finally found a place full of women like me. I wasn't here to find someone, I wasn't here to hook up or date, I was simply here to be myself without judgement. Even if I did come across as trouble, and got in trouble a few times, I loved every second of it. I think the ladies here started to get to know me too, they saw through my mask and discovered that underneath it all I was actually a really kind, caring and understanding individual. People would come to me with their problems and I'd always do my best to help out. I became a permanent fixture here after only a few weeks and I'd never been happier. Now I don't suppose she'll mind me talking about it here, I won't give names or details, but after only a few weeks it happened again. I met someone. We flirted, we talked, we got to know each other, and we soon realised we were very alike. Our lives similar in creepy ways, our hobbies and interests were mirrored in each other, even our boyfriends looked alike, and we soon realised we could tell each other everything. We became the best of friends, we knew there was more there and we often discussed it in detail, but in the end we knew that nothing would ever happen because we both wouldn't leave our partners, and mine wasn't open to anything outside the relationship. Not to mention she was American and I never thought there was a chance we'd ever meet. But we became best friends, and our boyfriends became friends too, and then our families, after a while it was like we'd always been in each others lives. But deep down my feelings for her clouded my judgement and I made foolish mistakes that cost me her friendship, and my relationship, on multiple occasions. I shared with her how I couldn't hide who I was anymore, and she supported me in whatever I wanted to do. So I told my boyfriend that it had happened yet again, but this time it was different. I wanted more, I'd overstepped boundaries, I essentially betrayed him and went behind his back, not in a physical way but emotionally. He was crushed. We talked a lot after that, I think I was finally able to get across to him that this wasn't just a curiosity, but this was me, and had been me this whole time. He told me he'd forgive me, that we could make it work if I was more open and honest with him, but I wasn't to seek out a woman again because he couldn't handle that betrayal again. I agreed at that stage, I told myself I couldn't lose him even though at that stage I realised that maybe I'd become more dependant on him than anything. I told myself no one would want me the way I was and he did. Why throw that away? Guess what, you guessed it! It happened again. But this time it was different. After being here for a while I decided to leave shys, I continued my friendship with the girl above outside of shys, and even though I've put her through a ton of shit over the years I'm pleased to say we're still friends. But I couldn't stand being here anymore. I could see all these women talking about their experiences, their girlfriends, and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I got on with my life and tried to forget about the place. Then one night, I got into a conversation with my friend from here about our relationship, it was always kinda odd, and people would often ask us if we were dating we were so close, but I felt I could still talk to her about my feelings. That night we talked about how my feelings were still all over the place, that even though I'd gotten over this crush with her, I still wanted to be with a woman. I was miserable and I didn't know what else to do. We talked about it a lot and she told me she'd support whatever I chose to do, and with that, I decided to come back here one night and see if my old friends were still around. I logged into chat on December 5th 2013, I was approaching my 30th birthday that month, and my 10 year anniversary with my fiancé. I didn't recognise anyone at first, then a few familiar faces popped in and it was like I'd never left, and there she was. I'd noticed that all the girls in the room were flirty and outgoing and so my old persona sneaked back in pretty quickly, I started to flirt with everyone in the room I think, I'd been gone a while and I was like a kid in a candy store I guess. But she stood out, to this day I still don't know why her name caught my eye. Something about her just drew me in and I found myself wanting to know more about her. She was the quietest in the room, not really talking much, and maybe that's what intrigued me a little, she wasn't falling victim to my charms like everyone else haha. I tried my hardest to get her attention but she didn't really respond. Then I asked a question, so where is everyone here from? Everyone replied, and then she did, Michigan here.... My first thought was oh no not another one You see the girl I mentioned above was also from Michigan and I made some stupid joke about how I had a thing for women from Michigan. She laughed and went back to being quiet. I did my usual stupid chat stuff, flirted, virtually dancing with the others, think I virtually stripped at one point, but she never said a thing. So I decided I was gonna send her a PM. The reason I had for messaging her was a stupid one, and was all I could come up with, but it got her attention. We chatted for a little after that and then went back to the main room where she started to join in a little more. After the night was over I left her a "Hey you" kinda message on her profile and she responded. From that moment I knew this wasn't your average attraction, after all I had no idea what she even looked like. For the first time I was drawn to a woman before I'd even laid eyes on her. This was a different kind of connection. We talked on and off numerous times after that night. I'd log on to see if she was there and when she wasn't I'd log out again. She wasn't around for a little while after that and I found myself asking around to see if anyone knew where she'd gone. No one knew. Then one day she came back, I didn't ask where she'd gone or what she was doing, I just told her I was glad she was back. I got a little forward after that and asked her for a photo, at this point I was already hooked and I told myself I didn't really care what she looked like because we'd connected in other ways. She told me she didn't share her photos here but she'd pm me one. I was so nervous, what if she wasn't what I usually go for? what if that would be a problem? I loved her personality already, and as much as I don't care about looks, I felt that some kind of attraction had to be there. I opened her message and saw her, she was adorable. I told her right away, I think it made me even more keen to pursue her. But I played it cool this time, I wasn't about to ruin this. Then one day in January of 2014 I made a status, a status that was seated in my depressive nature, she responded in a caring concerned way and told me if I ever needed to talk to message her. She told me later she never thought I'd take her up on the offer and was pleasantly surprised when I did. We got talking, not much, just bits here and there but in private. I showed her my weird bendy joints, mostly I was curious about how she'd react. It didn't phase her, at all, she'd worked in the medical field and anything of that nature didn't scare her off, she seemed more intrigued than anything. So I made the choice to ask if she'd like to chat outside of shys, she was like... Sure! Where? And I said how about WhatsApp? Here's my number, add me, I'll be there. She told me later that she didn't think I was serious, that a girl like me would give her the time of day, that she tried to call my bluff and she was shocked when she found out I was being serious. And that's how Tbare and I began. Outside of shys we became inseparable, we talked every day, we'd call each other, skype, and those feelings I had for her only grew. This was unlike anything I'd ever felt before and at that point I knew, I was gonna have to come clean yet again and tell my fiancé. Only this time I wasn't sure what I was gonna do. This time I couldn't just cut ties and apologise, this time I couldn't push it deep down and forget. I was in love, and it kinda felt like the first time. My boyfriend slowly saw my relationship with her develop over time. He told me of his concerns but I just shrugged them off and said everything was fine. He knew it wasn't. I knew it wasn't. Then one night she told me something on the phone, some bad news, and I broke down in tears. I was genuinely sad for her, I was a mess when my boyfriend walked in and saw me sitting there in a puddle of tears. He had no idea what was wrong and just hugged me in silence. Eventually he asked what was upsetting me so much, and I flat out told him that this girl was going through something and I wanted to be there for her, the fact that I was stuck here and I wanted to be there with her was making me miserable. I didn't want her to be alone. I loved her. I think that was the night we both realised we were over, we were distant after that. I guess we went through a separation, he said he needed time to think before we sat down and talked about it. I saw this as an opportunity to spend more time with her and that was when I knew that my relationship with him was over. Shortly after this the woman who I loved most, my grandmother, my best friend, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. 6 weeks to 2 months they told us at the hospital. As I was the only one not working in my family I stepped up, I was gonna take care of her like she had done me when I was a kid growing up with so many problems. I gave it my all, I was on 24hr call, feeding, toileting, changing, I saw my nana go from the strong independent woman I admired and loved turn into a shell. It broke my heart. I was there for everything, good and bad, we got to spend the most amazing 6 weeks together. But they were also the most heart breaking of my entire life to date. I didn't want to put her through the knowledge that my relationship was over, she'd loved this man like her own grandson for over a decade, they were the best of friends. He was heartbroken when he found out, but agreed we would keep up appearances while she was still with us. He visited her when he could, he'd hold her hand and talk to her for hours, he'd hold bowls under her while she puked up whatever meds they gave her that day, he helped me take care of this amazing lady and for that I will always be grateful to him. During the 2 months my nana was sick I decided to introduce her to T, I kept thinking she isn't gonna get to meet this amazing person I want to share my life with. They had to know each other. So I told her all about her, her life, her family, our friendship, she was always so intrigued about her and always asked about her and how she was doing. Then they spoke on the phone one night while I left them to go do dishes, I came back to hear them both in fits of laughter. They got along well. Then she stopped laughing and said to her, I wouldn't say this if I didn't mean it but you're a very beautiful girl, and I'd love nothing more than if you were my 5th granddaughter. That was exactly what I wanted to hear, even though I never really knew if she knew (She asked me on several occasions why myself and my boyfriend had split up, and I kept saying we hadn't) I always told myself that she did and she accepted her and us. Even if she didn't, or wouldn't have, it didn't matter after that. My nana loved me and nothing would have gotten in the way of that. I was there when she took her last breath, I held her hand and told her I loved her. Was the hardest thing I've ever done. T was there for me every day, talking to me, listening to me, sometimes just hearing me cry for hours on end. She gave me the reassurance and the strength to get through it all. She was my rock and I couldn't have done it all without her. On the day my nana died my fiancé showed up to see her, but it was too late for him to say goodbye. I reached out to hug him and he pulled away. I asked him if I could please have a hug, that's all I wanted, he eventually obliged but instantly pulled away. I asked if we could talk, he said it was too late and that I'd made my choice. I guess I just wanted a chance to make a clean break, to talk it all out and say what needed to be said. But he wasn't up to listening, and to be honest I don't blame him. To this day I feel guilt ridden over the whole thing, he was a good man, and I'm not the type of person to hurt anyone. I care too much to ever hurt someone. Yet here I was hurting the one person who'd been there for me for over a decade, no matter what. I wish I could go back sometimes, not to change where I am now, but to change how it happened. I'd have the decency to tell him straight. The last thing he said to me was, we all make mistakes in life, that he has made his fair share too, but we made these mistakes to learn from them. That he hoped that what had happened meant that I'd learn from it and never do it again. I promised him that. He walked away after that and we didn't speak for a long time. It's been 3 years now and we're finally in a good place, we can talk and be friends to an extent, and we still help each other out when we can. I truly hope that he finds someone who is worthy of his love, because like I tell everyone still, they don't make a lot of men like him anymore. My relationship with T only blossomed after that. I went to visit her 4 times in America, which was terrifying as Id never flown before. The first time was in the fall for 2 weeks, second time in the summer for almost a month, the third time again the following summer for almost a month, where she got down on one knee and asked me to be her wife, and then last but not least the fourth time for a month over the Christmas and New Years holidays. We struggle with the distance like any other couple in a LDR, but we make it work. We just had our 3 year anniversary and we couldn't be happier. I have truly found my soulmate, the person I want to spend my entire life with. But at the same time I found myself, which was the most important thing in all of this. We continue to grow as a couple every day and our love for each other has never failed, and it's been tested so many times. I know that she is my happy ending, and I will always do my best to progress forward and get closer to the day we can be together permanently. My family love her and have accepted my relationship with her, although it took some time, and her family love and accept us just the same. We're always gonna encounter people who think we shouldn't be together, and sadly we've known of a few, but the most important ones, and their opinions, are the only ones that matter to us. I thank this place every day for her, she is my reason for all that I do. I fight harder, I achieve more, and I never give up, because of her. She has had such a profound impact on my life, and I have never loved anyone like I love her. She makes me happier than I've ever been, and I hope that I can always make her proud of me as we go through life together. She is my reason for getting up every day and fighting the hand I've been dealt, and I like to think the support, love, and adoration that I have for her has made her more accepting of who she is, and how far she's come, because she is truly an amazing, strong and beautiful woman, and I couldn't be luckier in life than to have her by my side. So I guess I wanna finish this blog (If you've gotten this far) with this, don't be someone you aren't. Don't portray yourself to be anything less than the amazing, unique, individual that you are. We are all blessed with this ability to see the beauty in people, no matter the gender. I think that's a pretty amazing ability to have. So why hide it. I know there are women out there who can't be open and honest to everyone they know, and that we live in a world where this is seen as something wrong in the eyes of many, but never hide it completely. I tried and it ended in disaster. It wasn't until I accepted who I was and embraced it that I was finally able to be happy. Even if the only place you can be open is here, be open, be proud, and never, ever, see it as a curse. I hope not only I, but others who read this, can learn from my mistakes and go on to use this as a way to make their life better. Rocky x
  6. 15 points
    The first four weeks.... The first four weeks have almost passed. The first four weeks of stepping out of and away from for the home I've had for the most part of my life. My life that has had me live for almost 31 years in one place. A life that has had me live with, and share with one man, my husband, the man who I am now separated from and from whom I've stepped away from. I've now spent almost four weeks living in a loft room with skylight Windows and the comfiest bed ever. A room with the humming of a fridge and a TV on a stand. For the first time in my life ever I've had a TV in my bedroom (and I've hardly used it.) Almost four weeks in room that has felt like home from the minute I stepped foot in it ..... and I love it.... Leaving my old house didn't really feel like a wrench, it didn't feel particularly emotional and I didn't feel particularly nostalgic or sad about leaving it all behind really. Which after 31 years is a little remarkable and more than a little surprising I guess. I think it shows that maybe the time was right though. I think it also shows that all through last year I'd struggled and tried to hold my life together in that place that wasn't really the 'right' place where I wanted to be.... So I'm now on a train heading 'home'. Home to the place I now lay my head each night and where I find sleep so easily finds me. I'm heading home after spending the most wonderful weekend with Tess. A weekend of love and laughter, of family and bonding and of shared fun and films and of playing simple board games.... Games of draughts beside the log fire, drinking a warm liqueur and feeling so very proud of the way I beat her. My clever girl who can hold her nerve and who I admire so much for the past career she's had in a game that requires a steady mind.... I was so very proud that I beat her.... (I'm smiling so hard as I type these words and I'm giggling at the fun we had while sat on her rug in front of those burning logs as we played that simple board game.) So this weekend gave us another chance to spend days and nights together where we didn't have to sleep in a hotel bed. Another chance where we could enjoy doing those simple things like shopping, cooking and washing up, and of simple chores like sorting some holiday washing. Making of beds and eating a simple breakfast together. Just the chance to feel more and more like a couple. This weekend gave us much time to make love and fill ourselves with laughter. Where I could have a lesson or two in the mucking out of chickens and have an hour in sharing the joys of what makes Tess's son a very happy lad. Thanks Fred for showing me how to hold a chicken while you clip out those unwanted black feathers. Thanks also for getting me to spread muck and fork straw and cut shavings. You were a very good mentor and I actually loved spending that hour with you in your 'farm'. Your chickens and your cockerel are very fine birds indeed. So our weekend came to an end and as I sit on a train home I know it's only a few short hours before we can chat and enjoy the benefits of FaceTime. Oh the joys of FaceTime And so I sit here and think back to the beautiful show home we went to see and I know we have something like this in our vision, in our minds and in our hopes and dreams. Beyond our wildest dreams....but somehow I know we will get there.... Love you trillions Tessa D. Can't wait to see you at 'mine' next weekend.
  7. 14 points
    I've found a lady who actually understands me. She is decent and loves me and I do with her. We have no secrets from each other and we are true to our word with one another. She's taken the big step of introducing me to her mum and brother. She's never done this before. We've both come from rubbish situations where we are rebuilding ourselves after difficult previous relationships. We are now doing this together. It's early days but all the signs are good for us both. Here's hoping this continues as I've been burned badly before with a woman and it almost destroyed me. For the first time in a long time I feel positive again for the future. Hope it continues.
  8. 14 points
  9. 14 points
    Forgive my sudden intrusion. Re-entry is what this is. I joined many years in the past and have rolled, tumbled and endured gushing wounds along this path to self-acceptance. I wanted... perhaps, even, needed that bright, shiny label. I was so eager to uncap the pink, purple and blue marker and spell my name on a white, fat sticker that I could fix above my heart: bisexual, here! I have learned that it's not so simple. I remember when I joined and I look back on the confusion, the fear, the titillation, the joy in finding others like me. I remember leaning over and looking down straight into the depths of my own uncertainty and wondering if it would be right to jump. And I did. I fell through darkness and light. Happiness and misery. I fell again, and again and again and again. And when I landed, and spat shattered teeth into my palm, I swore it was over for me. I swore that I would never venture outside of the neat little fence I set up for myself around this hut of isolation. It's too much trouble, I said, My heart can't take it. And yet... Sometimes I miss the connection. I miss having a reason to check my phone early... when the birds first chatter their sweet songs, accompanying the slow birth of the morning sun. I miss inside jokes, texted in the late afternoon. I miss pictures of self, taken for one, and one alone. I miss sending something that, when opened, would bloom a brilliant smile across a sweet face. I miss being wanted, desired. I miss the anticipation of heart-bursting ecstasy, signified by a lopsided red circle on a kitchen calendar. I miss sifting through a pile of sappy nicknames. I miss pinning the ultimate love song to her lapel and smiling, feeling my heart beat hard enough to vibrate my chest whenever I would hear it. I miss remembering every wonderful, stupid little detail about her. Like her favorite brand of perfume. Or the first time she heard her favorite band live. I miss breathing out warm passion and hearing it echoed back, in perfect sync. I miss all that, and more. Damn it. Sometimes, in small and large ways... I really want a girlfriend again.
  10. 14 points
    Some of you may know that my GF and I recently ended our relationship. It was my first relationship after ending my marriage, and I feel like it's time to just be single for awhile. The legal aspects of my divorce are still in progress, as is my custody battle. I recently started my dream job, which has an hour+ commute each way. I feel like there's a lot on my plate, and it's kind of a train wreck for someone new to walk into (without going into too much detail here). Most people don't believe most of what I'm going through until they learn more and more about it, and it's overwhelming for most. I can't expect someone to want to take that on until things are more settled down, and I don't do well keeping it completely separate from my dating life. I'm more of an open book kind of person (I doubt anyone here would be surprised by that!). I feel like focusing on my close friendships, my son, my divorce and my new job would be wise. And, of course, ongoing self-improvement!
  11. 13 points
    Oh, labels, labels...how I hate them! In my experience, most bisexual and lesbian women are a combination of 'feminine' and 'masculine', and often unorthodox or non-conformist in various ways. Still, to this day (most recently in California, of all places, in July), people express surprise when I tell them I have a female partner, but only if they don't know me at all...because I am petite, have very long hair, and wear make-up, lots of jewellery, and sometimes 'feminine' clothes. C'mon folks - are we really still totally stuck on stereotypes in 2017?!!!
  12. 13 points
    If I don't phone, text or email you, please know you're still in my mind & heart. Which is why I can't contact you. It would hurt too much. It might lessen in time, but, I don't know if it will ever completely go away. If you reach out to me (which I hope that you will), I may not answer or get back with you. Believe me, I want to, more than anything. I'm keeping all of the messages. Even if they seem to be deleted, I saved them elsewhere. Right now, I don't have my phone on much & I'm not checking my email. The phone would probably be the best place,though, when you want to get a hold of me.
  13. 13 points
    I'm horny AF right now, not having sex for going on 4 months. Agh! Soooo, I'm a little reminiscent this afternoon. She's younger than me, very pretty, with blonde hair. She has a firm body, that while thin is on the fuller side of that spectrum. Her small diamond of a nose piercing isn't very noticeable on this evening and she texts me if I'm going to be in the back seat. I'm pulled over on the side of the road, across the street from a church no less. I text her back that I'm a little apprehensive, being that I'm sticking out like a sore thumb on a residential seat. I see her approaching and unlock the doors. She gets in and I ask her how shes's been. She tells me as I caress her inner thigh with my finger tips; we're not wasting any time here and I'm nervous. She's my favorite kisser so far. Just a hint of tongue as things get going. I begin to kiss her neck and my hand works my way to her collarbone, stroking every so lightly. She wants to get in the back, she says, It's more comfortable back there, she pleads. I'm wary, but acquiesce to her invitation. I put the sunshade up to give us some modicum of privacy and we get in my backseat. Getting comfortable, we quickly begin to go at it, making out. I get down to the floor, perched on my knees and pull down her shirt, taking her breasts in my hands and a nipple in my mouth. She's moaning and I feel myself getting wet. She wants me to go down on her, but she doesn't want any digital penetration, which I'm okay with. She slides down on the seat and I take her hips, adjusting her to where I want her, and move her panties to the side. She's not all the way shaved, but nearly there. I kiss around her thighs and then decide to just go for it...I'm worried about someone seeing us...and I spread her legs further apart and start to suck on her clit. A few minutes later, she has both of her hands on my head, pressing my face down to get me to suck harder and deeper. I'm eating her pussy while playing with her nipples. When she cums, I look up and all the windows have fogged over, it's hot, and we both have a glimmer of sticky sweat on our skin. I miss her, lol.
  14. 13 points
    From my experience there's nothing specific you can say to him to reassure him. It's how you behave towards him, the attention you give him, and making him feel like he is still the most important person in the world. None of that is easy and it will take time and effort. My husband was amazing and so supportive at first, encouraging me to explore and reach out. But then I got close to someone and he got scared. A female relationship is intense and can make you question everything when it's new and exciting. The truth is, once you make that strong connection and you know she feels the same for you, it will consume you, and he will see that because he loves you. Therein lies the problem and the threat. The emotional connection that you have with someone else no matter how much you still love him and the the fact that he might lose you because of it. I remember him telling me he felt like he had to fight for me, when all I wanted was for him to be the same as he's always been because he gave me everything I needed from a man. But we've talked a LOT, established my boundaries, what he's comfortable with, and made a special effort to spend time together. She still consumes my thoughts, I've just become better at controlling and hiding it, which means he is happier because I'm more focused on him. It's taking time but we're finding a balance and I suppose I've proved myself to him now that he can see I'm not going anywhere. I wish I had the answers for you, but everyones marriage is different. My personal experience dictates that yes, you will need to let it run it's course and be aware of the signs that he's not coping so you can address it. It might not be easy but I hope you can work it out, find a balance, and enjoy the relationships.
  15. 13 points
    Being married does not make you blind to the world. You still notice people, and you still have needs that a man simply cannot meet because he is not a woman. It has nothing to do with how happy you are with him. I think it's natural as a bisexual person to desire the gender opposite your partner. Not everyone wants to pursue that, but many do, and that's okay. You just need to determine if it works for your marriage. I think there's also the element of the unknown, of not having experienced sex with just you and another woman, which IS a different experience than a threesome. Perhaps had you had that experience before, you might not crave this so much, or maybe you would. It's hard to know. But I think that does play a role. So many bisexual women end up married to men, I think partly out of a desire to procreate (on a more subconscious level) and fit into societal pressure, and then as we get older, we realize how strong the desire is to be with a woman and experience that which we have not. We start realizing that we need to tend to our own desires and live our own experiences while we can. It sounds like your husband is open-minded. You never know what he will or won't be okay with, but you won't know until you ask for what you want.
  16. 13 points
    YEs! Yes to all of this. I love my husband and our family immensly but I have also always had crushes on women but nothing ever came of them. right after we had a kid i was so busy with all of that that i forgot about crushes, bisexuality, etc. There was just no time to think of it. But as my kid has gotten older I crushed again a few times. While still being in love with my husband. So yes it's possible. i also have recently found a girl who I am heads over hills in love with, but unfortunately many continents away. But she makes me so happy. So yes it's possible to want both. And it's also possible to have both! ;)
  17. 13 points
    Last week, I ran into a woman I've had a crush on for a good 3+ years. At the time, I was a nursing student, and she was a medical resident at the hospital where I was doing clinicals. I was married at the time, and in a triad relationship, but this woman and I had chemistry, and we would flirt harmlessly. I knew nothing would come of it, and I was honest with my husband and girlfriend about everything. When I left my marriage, she and I got matched on OKCupid, and she sent me a message trying to place my face. Once she realized who I was, she fell silent, and I didn't push it. I figured maybe once more time passed after leaving, I would reach out to her. So last week, I was taking my son to dinner, and she was there when we walked in the door. She was the first to greet me, and we chatted for a second about what we were doing professionally (she is no longer in the hospital, but I now work at that same hospital). She was on her way to a meeting, so we kept it brief, but I sent her a message on FB saying to send me a friend request if she wanted (her settings wouldn't let me send her one), and she promptly responded and sent a request. I waited until this past Monday to send a message to see if she wanted to have lunch or dinner sometime soon. She responded that she would love to, but as friends, as she just started seeing someone, and it became more serious over the weekend. I'm kicking myself for hesitating!! But oh well. So now my dilemma is that I want to see her and hang out with her, and kinda gauge the chemistry between us after all this time. Maybe it's gone, and that would make things really easy and straightforward. Or it's there, and I have to be honest with her that being around her while she's attached would be hard. I want to be respectful of where she is right now, but also be clear that if she becomes single again, I would like to take her out. I'm by no means waiting on her, but she is someone that I could see getting serious with if we ever go there. I have the feeling that she will become single just as things get serious for me with someone new, because that's how the cosmos work. I guess I'm just working through all this in my head, and trying to sort out the delicate balance of being respectful of where she is and of her GF, and being clear about where I stand. She's a pretty down-to-earth woman, intelligent, kind and honest. I'm sure she's going to be pretty honest with this woman about who I am and my interest in her, if we do hang out. Part of me really hopes the chemistry isn't there anymore, and I gain a good new friend. The other part of me hopes it's still electric and she becomes single sooner than later. I suppose time will tell.
  18. 12 points
    The first thing you need to do before you leave the house every day is turn your gaydar on. How do you do that? It’s easy. You realize that 1 out 4 people have gay tendencies, whether they admit it or not. So the chances that the cutie pie at the checkout is into girls is actually higher then you think. Even if she hasn’t dated women before it doesn’t mean you can’t be her first. So turn your gaydar on by simply realizing that we’re everywhere. I know, I know, life would be so much easier if we all wore some sign or name badge identifying our sexuality, but we don’t. So get over it and step out of your little box long enough to realize that the girl you’re eyeing may be just as terrified as you, of making the wrong assumption. (from cardcarryinglesbian.com) Basically this is my personal technique for activating my gaydar: I assume that every woman I meet is either gay or at least bi until proven otherwise. That way I don’t close the door to any opportunities that might present themselves. Try it. It works. You’ll find yourself making eye contact more often, letting your eyes linger a bit longer on her lips, looking for signs of her queerness in the way she dresses or moves. You’ll start to get better at this the more you do it. Like anything, having good gaydar takes practice. So before we go any further with how to meet women, let’s work on recognizing fellow lesbians and ladies that may just be open to another woman, regardless of her current label. So my homework assignment for you is to do the following: Next time you’re at any store that you frequent, assume that the cute girl you see is gay. Just pretend that you know for a fact that she is. This doesn’t mean jump her bones in the chip and cookie aisle. It just means to act as if she is. Notice if you feel more comfortable around her? Make more eye contact and see if she holds your gaze, does she look at your lips and then back up to your eyes? But more then her reaction, it’s your reaction I want to know about. Let yourself act as if we live in a world where gay people outnumber breeders. Try not to be so self-contained, self-conscious and cautious all the time. (This doesn’t mean be reckless if you live in an area that you could get stoned for being gay.) I’m talking about a subtle attitude change that will affect the way you relate to other women.
  19. 12 points
    I found shys on a random google search one evening and was soon hooked. I had finally found a place where I could be open about my emotions for the first time in my life! It’s liberating! I have connected with some of the most amazing people who have made me open up (something I really wasn’t used to), they’ve listened to me on my down days (there have been many). We’ve laughed and shared stories and experiences, and every single interaction has made a huge difference to my life and how I’ve handled things along the way. I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to listen to me pouring my heart out even when you had your own problems to deal with so for that I am eternally grateful. One unique lady became very special to me early on. I felt that magnetic pull towards her and I wasn’t sure what or why I felt that strongly, but I did. We hit it off quickly. So much in common, the same interests and desires. Everything just clicked into place. She was all I could think about. We messaged every day and grew closer and closer. We were both open with our husbands, but sadly, they both became very insecure with our connection, which, to be fair, was stronger than either of us had ever experienced before, although we never told them how strong, I guess they could tell. As much as we love our husbands, we grew to love each other too and it consumed and scared us both. Despite their insecurities we had to see each other, with their consent, never crossing the line, and sticking to the firm boundaries that husbands had set. If you were hoping for a raunchy shys story, this isn’t it. It was however, the most romantic and loving relationship I’ve ever experienced with anyone before and I’m fortunate enough to have a best friend at the end of it too. It’s been 11 months since our first messages and we’ve become so close, even if friendship is all we can have. The connection we made is unique and special and I’m a better person when I’m with her. I’m forever grateful to this place for making that possible. So while her husband can’t bear the thought of her being with anyone else, mine is coming around to the idea. The journey I’ve been on with my marriage is a post for another time but he has been truly amazing and in an odd way it’s brought us closer. Lots of communication and trial and error, which has been really hard at times. In the end it all comes down to one simple but crucial point….that he must always feel like he’s my number one priority above anyone else. I neglected him at times and I see that now. He accepts I may have relationships with other women if the opportunity presents itself, as long as he never feels like second best. Sounds simple enough right?? I thought so until I fell in love with a woman. It’s…..intense! I have so much to learn. So this is where I am now, a year later. I finally accepted who I am, I’ve dipped my toes in a world I was afraid of for a long time and found I’m quite at home here. I just need to figure out what I want, and I'm working a little harder on my marriage because he really is an incredible man. Right now this is just a big thank you to the people who set up this wonderful site and allowed a highly supressed bisexual to express herself in ways she never thought possible. I hope it helps others too.
  20. 12 points
    I couldn't find the book I was looking for in library so I approached the librarian. She was cute in a geeky kind of way. Young too. Her hair in a bun wearing a blouse and knee length skirt and sensible shoes, but a hint of red lipstick told me there was more to her. She was probably in her twenties. I smiled at her and asked for the book I wanted. She smiled. "Come with me!" She winked as she said it. I followed her down the aisles filled with books. Past student beavering away and people trying to find the right book. At the back of the library she opened a door that said 'Restricted section - staff permission needed' and walked in. "This way and you'll find what you're looking for!" Strange! I knew the book I was looking wasn't going to be in this room and yet I felt compelled to enter the room. As I entered the room, she pointed to a shelf on the other side of the room. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was in here. I moved to the shelf and began to scan it when suddenly I realised she was standing right behind me, pushing herself against me, her arms reaching found and grabbing my breasts. "Like I said," she laughed, Come with me!" Before I had a chance to object or cry out, she yanked up my skirt and shoved her hand inside my panties and quite forcefully pushed her finger inside me. I was shocked I was so wet and turned on yet knew I should ask her to stop. "No," I murmured. "Oh yes you dirty little bitch." She whispered in my ear. "You want it. You know you do." She rubbed my wet, swollen clit with one hand and groped my breast with her other hand. "Oh god please stop!" I said. "No way!" She laughed. You're so desperate for a good fuck I can smell it. She turned me to face her. Her mouth on mine. Kidding me hard, still fingering my cunt with a passion I'd never experienced before. Her tongue explored my mouth. I heard myself moaning. Shocked I was responding to her forceful fingering. Scared someone was going to come in. I was getting wetter by the minute. She stopped for a second, stepped back and pulled the pins from her bun, letting her long dark hair fall to the floor and pulling off her glasses and placing them on the nearby table. Then she stepped forward and grabbed my blouse, pulling it hard, pulling the buttons apart and pulling it from my body. Tossing it to the floor. She stared longingly at my bra cover breasts. Ann Summers, sheer and white. I knew she could see my nipples through it. She licked her lips and I felt my clit quiver in anticipation. "Bend over the table," she ordered. "I... I.... I can't," I muttered, "What if....." But before I could finish she'd grabbed me and pushed me over to the table, pushed me forward and hoisted my skirt up and pulled down my panties. She forced my legs apart but my resistance was pretty futile and half hearted. Her fingers back inside me, she dropped to her knees and began to lick my cunt from behind. I cried out as it felt so good. Her fingers. Her tongue. Two fingers. Then three. My wetness audible. I was almost at the point of no return when she stopped and her hand came down on my ass spanking me hard. Two or three times. Her fingers and tongue back. Then each time as I was almost going to climax, the spanks came. I was desperate to come in her mouth and she knew it. After a while of her doing this, she grabbed my hair and pulled me back to standing and turned me around. Yanking off my skirt. Pulling off her own blouse and skirt. Omg! No panties! Just a neatly trimmed cunt. She took my hand and led me to the carpeted area and pulled me to the floor. She parted my legs, kissing me and opened her own as she lay over me finding my cunt with hers. Finding my clit with hers. Our rhythm was strong and hard. How had she known this was what I'd fantasised about for years. Our swollen wet clits loving each other so hard. I felt it rise through me. Wracking my body with a pleasure I'd never felt before as we came together clinging to each other as our clits combined as one. Omg! I'd barely had time to recover and her tongue was there. Between my legs. Licking and sucking my already satiated clit. Straddling my face I knew she wanted the same from me.mi took her clit between my teeth and nibbled as she cried out. I sucked, my tongue flicking backwards and forwards as hers mirrored mine. Coming hard I bucked hard, my hips grinding against her face, squirting hard, as did she and we drank each other's orgasms as we fell together, flicking each other's nipples as we stilled and quietened. A short while later, I left the library with a huge smile on my face, minus the book I went for: amazed by the unexpected fuck I'd found. I vowed I really had to go back and join the library tomorrow as I think I'm about to become an avid reader and library regular... I wondered if the other librarians provided a personal service like that.
  21. 12 points
    If you feel like you may not want to be married to your husband anymore, you'll need to work out whether that's because of the failure of your relationship with him as a person, or because of your sexuality. Of course, it could be both, but it's important to analyse the situation, to understand why you feel the way you do, before you make any major decisions. Obviously, your husband's extremely negative reaction to your first experience with a woman, and his attempt to control and possess you by prohibiting you from seeing her again, and by unilaterally declaring that your open marriage agreement is over, will only cause you to resent him in a major way, and ultimately will feed into the feeling that you might want to end the marriage, so you really need to be honest with him about the impact it's having on you. Needless to say, being with a woman for the first time can be an extremely intense experience, and trigger a deluge of emotions that can overwhelm you, so you need to get some perspective on that as well, so that it doesn't cause you to make any irrational decisions. .
  22. 12 points
    So after meeting my amazing other half right here on Shys 3 and a half years ago, this happened on Monday. She became my wife <3 xxx
  23. 12 points
    We hope you've all been enjoying the new upgrades to the site! With updates come an updated draft of the site rules, which are essentially the same as they've always been, but always bear repeating. Please note these may change at any time based on the needs of the site and its members. Safety is our number one priority, but not something we can ever guarantee. Please don't be afraid to reach out to the moderators with any suggestions or for help if you feel your safety is in jeopardy (related to the site). THIS IS NOT A DATING SITE. Any posts or profiles suggestive of searching for dates will be subject to edits or removal, and members may be warned, placed on moderator review, or banned from the site. This is a women-only site. Anyone who identifies as a woman is welcome here, including members of the trans community. Only one person per account, and only one active account per person. Any member we suspect of being a man or couple will be banned without warning. 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  24. 11 points
    Does anyone else find this a turn on? I love the idea that I'm turning on someone I've never even met via sexy/naughty messages and we are perhaps doing naughty things to ourselves throughout the conversation. I'd love to try phone sex too... The thing is it's safe and you can have a fantastic orgasm without any dating hassles or playing games etc...
  25. 11 points
    I have been meaning to write a new blog for a while and update things a bit haha My life has changed in so many ways since I first found this site and most of it for the better. The most obvious reason being I found a girl and fell in love. I suppose I should start at the beginning. I am from a very small rural community that is conservative to the core. Not settling down and having babies is just not how things are done here. Struggling with feeling attractions to girls wasn't the norm. See I was rejected for years. Never got asked out. Never got hit on. Finally dated a few guys after high school and it wasn't much. It was then I met my first gf. I was so starved for affection and attention that it didn't matter what hell she put me through because it was better than the alternative. This went on for a couple years until something terrible happened to me (I do not wish to add details). It cost me my job/career, what social circle I had and nearly took my sanity. I was immediately put on antidepressants and a mild sedative. With what I'd experienced the doctors thought it best to protect me from myself that way. About 6 months later I made the choice to stop it. I was shell of myself and I hated it. For me feeling nothing at all was worse than feeling bad. Throughout this time my gf stayed with me but her behavior didn't change. It was only at that point I realized that it was a toxic relationship. That I was only hurting myself by holding onto someone like her. Someone who wanted to use me for money and stability but couldn't be bothered to be faithful or even say a kind word most days. So I ended it. After that I started to pull my life back together. A close friend of mine started to show a romantic interest. I knew she was bi and she knew about me. She listened and supported me. She helped me through difficult times and even dropped the L word. Turns out she only wanted me for my body. This all left me with a bad taste for relationships. At that point I wanted to be alone. I found a job and moved nearly 800 miles away. I worked hard and played harder. I did things just for myself. I went on a vacation for the first time in my life. I went skydiving and zip lining. I ran obstacle races and went dancing til the clubs shut down. And I did it all without a relationship. I found a sense of peace. I was starting to feel comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life. Then there was the issue of my sexuality. Only my one brother (also bi as it turns out) knew about me. I was in a position where I could maybe explore my feelings and be a happier more open person. That's when I found shy's. Being able to read these forums and discuss topics that relate to so many things in my life was fantastic. It made me feel like I wasn't alone in how I dealt with my feelings. Then I met Rocky... I was in the chatroom. No different than any other time. Except this night she was there. She was witty and funny and a riot to talk to. I decided to take a peek at her profile and be her friend. I thought she was an absolutely gorgeous and wonderful woman. A delightful soul that I very much enjoyed being around and chatting with. One day she put up a post. She said she felt useless and miserable. I reached out in a pm. I'd stood in those shoes before and I knew it's a dreadful place to be. So we began to talk and we've never stopped. My reaching out blossomed into something incredible. I'd been single for years at this point and I wasn't looking for it but I found love. My dad's health had taken a turn and work was starting to dry up so I moved back home. That was almost 3 and a half years ago now. Since then my relationship with Rocky has grown. She has met most of my family and we have become engaged. To my family we were "friends" but It was during this past Christmas holiday while she was here that my mom decided to clear the air so to speak. She flat out asked if Rocky's family knew we were in an intimate relationship. It was an awkward discussion to say the least but now it's all out there. Most of my family know and are just fine with it. My one brother and dad are homophobic. At this point my my brother knows and had a meltdown when my mom accepted me without batting an eye. My dad does not nor do most friends and other family members. Being in such a small town makes it difficult but I prefer my private life to remain just that. Private. To end this I would like to thank whoever reads all this to get to this point. I know it is long winded. Throughout my journey I have had this safe space to express myself. A place where I don't have to hide who I am and who I love. This site is an amazing source of support and I truely hope that those who are looking for it can find it here as I have. T
  26. 11 points
    Hello ladies, Well here's a blog about netty and I's third visit together. We had an awesome time together. We spent the first three days out of town. It was so wonderful to be in her arms again. She ran to me when she saw me this time at the airport and we held each other for a very long time and then we passionately kissed right there in the airport and didn't care who saw us. Of course we didn't make it to the car before we had to make a stop in the restroom so we could get reacquainted with each other and you know what I mean. After we left the airport we went to grab a bite to eat because we were both hungry, then we went back to the hotel for a long awaited time of making love. It had been eight months since I last saw her and she was anxious and worried that it wouldn't be the same, but all of those fears were calmed once we were in the bed together. It was so awesome as it always is when I'm with her. Our passion grows the longer we're together. Needless to say we didn't get much sleep but I managed to get a little rest. The next morning we had some more intimate time together, then we had to leave and went to go grab some breakfast. Oh I forgot we also took a trip to the walmart after we ate dinner to pick up some snacks and beer. I still have some in the refrigerator. After breakfast it was time for a long road trip over to the west coast of Florida. We stopped off at a Western store on the way there and netty bought some cowboy boots. They look great. Then we got back on the road and arrived in Tampa late in the evening. We settled into the hotel room for a little bit, then went searching for a nice place to eat dinner. We found this fantastic steak house and the food was to die for. We also enjoyed some local beer that was brewed in the Tampa/ St. Petersburg area. The steak was out of this world and the salad was so good. The bread was very fresh. By the time we got back to the hotel room it was very late and we were both tired. The next day was the Tampa Bay blues festival. It was a perfect day, sunny and gorgeous. The beer was good and the bands were great. We met some people and made some new friends. We didn't stay until the very end because it had been a very long day so we went back to the hotel and well you can guess then we passed out. The next day we checked out and went to go visit the Salvador Dali museum. It was a wonderful cultural experience for me and I enjoyed the artwork very much. We first visited the artwork of young students from the area and the artwork was so impressive. One piece caught both of our attentions, it was a girl sitting on an open book reading a book. It was a great visual of how immersed we can get when we are reading a story. The one piece that we both liked that Theodore Dali painted was a picture of a nude woman from the back looking out a window and when you stepped back from the picture you could see Abraham Lincoln, it was really cool. I just loved being there with netty and enjoying watching her and talking to her about our own impressions of what we thought he may have been thinking when he painted certain things. I noticed how intricate the strokes of the paintbrush must have been and how detailed they were. It inspired me to want to take up art again. I also didn't know how involved with Walt Disney he was but now certain things about Disney animation makes more sense now. Dali played a part in creating thing for Walt's ideas. We didn't get to to the virtual tour but maybe we'll get to do it again sometime. We spent some time shopping in the gift shop and picked up a few things. Netty is so sweet. I showed her this pen that I wanted and she said she'd think about it. I picked out a few books to color in and a notepad with this really cool paper called stone paper. As we were getting ready to leave I needed to use the restroom so she said go ahead and I'm going to look around some more see if I might want something else. Well, you guessed it, while I was in the restroom she bought the pen for me. She's such a softy. We then left and headed for my mom's for one of her yummy southern dishes. I didn't much like it when I was a kid but I loved it. It was a shrimp creole and we had cornbread with it. It took us longer than we planned to get there because there was a bad accident on the interstate. Once we were on the road I took a road that bypasses the interstate and all the traffic. It was a very scenic route and smooth driving, no back ups. So for the first three days together I spend about a total of around nine hours drive time combined from Jacksonville to Tampa to Orlando then home. Every trip with her is different and we did different things this time. I had to work two nights while she was here then I had the last two days off with her. We went and ate at a local Mexican restaurant and then went and played pool. We drank a few beers then we went and spent the night on the beach and woke up to watch the sunrise together. The weather turned kind of yucky that morning because it was our last day together and the weather stayed that way until I took her to the airport and went home. It was gray and rainy, I said God was sad because she had to leave and go home. This time it was even harder to say good-bye at the airport. I sat and watched her go through security and was able to grab her hand one last time through a space in the columns. Then as I walked away I cried. It was so hard to walk away. It was even harder when I came home to an empty house because she had been here with me. My house felt empty and my bed felt empty. I had to work that night so I had to come home and sleep. My boss had been out from a surgery so she asked if I could come in and change the trash out and help out for a little bit because the other girl working has a very bad knee and she's in a lot of pain. So I worked a couple of hours, came back home again to an empty house, went back to sleep, then woke up and went into work. When I came into work the girl working asked me why I looked so sad and I told her because my fiance went home. The nice thing is that she will be back to see me this summer and she's bringing her daughter, hopefully, to come and meet me. Then I will get to have another first of several experiences with her. I'll be flying out of the country, never flown before, and never been out of the country. I'll get to go to her house and meet her friends and see her town. I'm looking forward to that so much, and I won't want to leave. I'll be so glad when we can finally be together all the time in just a few short years, when my youngest graduates high school. Hopefully, we'll be married by then. I love her more and more every day and being apart grows harder every time we're able to see each other and be together. It's a huge adjustment to go back to being on skype, but at least we have skype so we can see each other. Our work schedules make it hard as well but we do what we have to do to take care of our families. I have a daughter to support as does she. I will be so happy when I can fly over there one way and not come back. I have my family's support and that's all that matters. All three of my kids love her and are happy for me that I'm happy. As I'm watching her sleep I can't help but feel such a deep love for her and miss her being here sleeping with me.
  27. 10 points
    Absolutely love having sex with clothes on. I find all that rummaging around such a turn on, it works me up like crazy. Especially love when a girl leaves her jeans on & you need to unzip them & part her panties to one side......soooo hot!
  28. 10 points
    Omg. I’m going through a “longing” and “aching” for it stage, right now. I haven’t had sex with a woman since April of last year. I’ve officially created a new record of the longest time w/o doing the nasty. In the meantime, I’ve turned to porn to get some jollies. Lol. I’m absolutely obsessed with real, homemade porn. I LOVE it when I can hear the girl cumming. I love how she rides her face. Ugh. And since I have no one else to share it with in my real life (my straight friends would think I’m prob trying t throw a hint their way): http://www.homemoviestube.com/videos/396813/lesbian-face-sitting.html
  29. 10 points
    I just want to show my girlfriend off to the world. I'm so proud to be hers. She's such a wonderful person. Just absolutely amazing. The way she thinks... the things she does... I've never met another person so closely similar to me, but so very much themselves. Trusting me with her heart whenever she needs to spill it out to me. And she does it so honestly and unapologetically, and accepts my heart when it needs to spill as well. She has so much love to give unconditionally. She's so talented and hard-working and caring and rational. God, is she rational. I love it. We have the same love language. We value and appreciate the same things in a relationship. We're playful and clever together. She amplifies everything about me. I love deeper. I laugh harder. I sigh every other second. With her, I'm so much better. She inspires me to be more. And I do the same for her. She flew into my life so unexpectedly, and I showed her the sort of caring and lasting friendship she was longing for. What she's given me in return is too much for words. And I tell her everyday. She tells me everyday. We write letters full of I love you's just to try to capture some of this feeling, but it's just not enough. Her heart is so pure. Her voice makes my knees melt into the pavement. She has me wrapped around her finger and there's no one I would trust more to do so. Barely any time has passed, but I feel like I know her so well. I feel like I've known her for ages. Like she was a part of me that I never knew was missing and now I can't live without. As many times as I've been in love before, this is so much more. She loves me as much as I love her. We were once the only ones putting effort into our relationships and now we are both putting our effort into this relationship equally. Neither of us is used to it, and both of us appreciate it so much. There's so much that can be felt from a single caring action. We understand that. It's the little things that matter. I just needed to spill this out to someone. It's so difficult to contain how happy I am about her.
  30. 10 points
    For many years I played the role of dedicated wife and mother. Twenty six years and five children later, I found myself at a crossroads. I could stay with a man I no longer loved, keeping the 'perfect' family unit together.Or take the tough, scary step and leave.I chose the latter and it was the right decision.That was a year ago.On reflection, the past year has been, in the main, an exciting and refreshing one.I have met some interesting(and some not so interesting!) people, enjoying good company and also enjoying my own company, my own space...when I needed to.Recently, I've made friends with a woman and she has awakened a sleeping giant within me, that I never knew existed.The feelings that she evokes are stronger than any I've ever felt towards a man.Its exciting and beautiful, if a little overwhelming.I am at the start of a new and very different journey and who knows where it will lead, where I will be or how i will feel, this time next year.For now, I am enjoying the moment and open to all life's possibilities.The next chapter will be written when its ready.When I'm ready!
  31. 10 points
    I'm married to a man, and I've been with women for 7 years now. I think I joined this site around 7 years ago also. I used to stress and obsess over finding a label for myself, and now I realize I don't need one, or want one. I used to think I wanted a woman as a FWB, and as time went on realized feelings usually got involved for me. I guess what I'm saying is, you may think one thing, until a situation happens, and you might end up surprising even yourself. I've learned so much about myself in these last 7 years! I've eaten my words many times, and I've grown tremendously from my experiences.
  32. 10 points
    Actually, continuing on from my previous comment, my form of bisexuality seems to be the exact opposite of the women here who can’t see themselves in a ‘romantic’ relationship with a woman. I am sometimes sexually attracted to particular men, and in the past had romantic relationships with men, but never fell in love with one, or wanted to seriously commit to one...which meant that the relationship was really just all about sex and other forms of fun... But, ultimately once I finally admitted to myself that the sex I had with men, although enjoyable, was totally inferior to the sex I had with women, and that I preferred women in every way, I then decided that there was really no point in continuing to see men, and have lived my life as a lesbian ever since. Despite the fact that most men have absolutely no problem objectifying women, in one way or another (often without even realizing that they’re doing so), some of my male lovers accused me of objectifying men, because they knew I preferred women and had no intention of becoming more serious about our relationship (moving in together, or getting married)...and I did wonder if that was actually true. Was I objectifying men by conducting affectionate sexual relationships with them, but not falling in love with and committing to them? In the end, I decided that it was a matter of expectations, but that most men (and people in general) expected more, so, if not unethical, at the very least, for me, it wasn’t really a practical way to live. Now, like @FlaGrl08, the originator of this thread, I see that there are quite a few women here on Shy, most of whom are married to men, who are attracted to and desire women sexually, but for one reason or another, claim that they cannot see themselves in a romantic relationship with a woman...and, at the risk of being burnt at the stake, I wonder if this is just a way of managing their own expectations with regard to their desires (i.e. choosing not to desire what they believe they cannot have, or what could potentially throw their heterosexual marital life into chaos). While, of course, human beings embody every possible variation of sexuality and way of being, and I believe that, bar those that harm others, we must all accept that, I must confess that reading these posts I sometimes get angry and want to shout out, ‘Don’t you think women are objectified enough in this world, without contributing to the objectification of each other? Please do us all a favour and stick to men!’ But then I get a grip, and just think, well ‘different strokes for different folks’...and what goes on between two consenting adults is their own business. Clearly, some women don’t mind being objectified in that way (and, in fact, enjoy being objectified in more extreme ways, for example, in the context of BDSM)... It’s a point of contention - to such an extent that some members of Shy have actually left because they found it unacceptable or distasteful - but one that I can live with, as long as we’re not talking about using and abusing women, like so many men do (which is all over the news right now, as it should be). HOWEVER, having said that, I have to admit that I find it impossible to understand how anyone could possibly confine their interest in and desire for women to the purely sexual, as if erecting an artificial boundary between the body and the emotions contained therein, when there is so much more to experience and enjoy, and the potential for the most intense and fulfilling forms of intimacy imaginable with another woman... How can they resist?
  33. 10 points
    Casual sex with likeminded women can be fun and even fulfilling to a certain extent...BUT in my experience, intense sexual chemistry with a woman, which leads to a copious amount of wild, mind-blowing sex - the kind of sex that I would describe as 'spiritual' in nature - tends to lead to falling in love... If the chemistry is there, things don't stay casual for long...and that escalation into the great beyond is one of the glorious things that makes my life worth living...
  34. 10 points
    Before I knew what had actually happened, I found myself in my car on the way to her house. I think part of me was still shocked, while the rest of me was charged with electricity and anticipation. If you had told me three weeks ago, when we first started to become friends, that we'd end up here, I would never have believed you. But here is exactly where we are. Things had happened pretty quickly, and had taken some seriously unexpected turns pretty quickly. That having been said, I was pulling into her driveway, after almost a week of some pretty heavy text flirting, and my heart was racing. There was no denying it, I was here for sex and she knew it. She wanted it too. We had flirted, we had pretended we were just joking, then we had gotten a little more serious about it. As I walked upstairs to her room, liquor in hand, I panicked a little. I had anticipated this for a long time. I'd never been with a woman, never even touched one in a non professional or friendly way. But I was prepared to touch her, to lick her, to rub her all over. We were both very nervous, taking a couple small shots and smoking a joint and a bowl, talking and nervously laughing with one another, talking about my husband and her ex boyfriend. Every so often one of us would get brave and graze our foot against the other, or rub the other leg, but we were both too nervous to actually make any big moves. Finally she asked me, "Should I turn off the light?", to which I replied "yes please", and she leaned over to shut it off. By the time she was back, my arms were open and lips were ready. We began kissing, and rubbing. I had imagined being with a woman so many times, I had had dreams about what it would be like. This blew me out of the water. Her lips were soft on mine, and she smelled so fresh and feminine. She bit and tugged on my bottom lip in the sexiest way while we were kissing, before moving onto my earlobes, then my neck. As she pushed me a little, onto my back, and pulled herself up she laid her entire body along mine, I could feel her breasts on me as she kissed and sucked on my neck. While she was doing that with her mouth, her hands trailed downwards, feelings my breasts, gently pinching my nipples, rubbing her fingers lightly on my hips, then moving her hand to between my thighs. As she began touching me, as her fingers danced around finding their way, she breathed heavily in my ear as she sucked on my ear lobe, then worked her mouth downwards as well. Everywhere her hands had touched me, her lips followed. Soon her face was between my legs and she was eating my pussy. She licked all over my pussy, and my clit, she sucked in all the right places, licked me somehow rough and gently at the same time. As she did that she worked her fingers inside me with what was clearly an experienced touch. I was in ecstasy. I could feel my body begin to shake as everything I had dreamed of for so long came true. Everything about her was amazing. I laid there and let her eat my pussy, finger me, and rub on me for more than a few minutes, enjoying and relishing the moments as they passed. While it wasn't explosive or earth shattering, I came pretty quickly. After more than a few minutes, she lifted herself up and brought her weight down on top of me and began to grind herself on my hip. Soon she flipped over onto her back and pulled me into a position to be sitting on her face. She ate my pussy again and it felt so amazing, for a minute I lost control and found myself grinding on her face. Maybe it was for a few minutes. Maybe it was for hours. After cumming again, I climbed down and began sucking, licking, and kissing on her ears, her shoulders, her breasts and beautiful nipples . I sucked and pinched on her nipples as I moved my hands down further, finding my way to her pussy and clit. I worked my fingers as I touched her in a way I'd never touched a woman before, while kissing on her breasts. She came, she came twice actually. Squirted all over my hand each time. As a new sensation and something I hadn't expected, I felt proud and turned on that I had been able to please her that much, I enjoyed watching her breath heavily as I kissed her lightly and climbed on top, straddling her. I put one leg outside one of hers, the other in between hers. I placed my pussy just right against hers, then grabbed hold of her hips and began to gently rub my pussy on hers. I spent a few minutes moving slowly, adjusting a little bit at a time, until I heard her moaning get loader. Once I thought I had found the best place for both of us, I grabbed hold of her hips and ground harder. She and I both ground against one another, moaning. As our energy started to wear down, our grinding slowed down, then stopped and I slid off of her and laid down next to her instead. We laid there and caught our breath, then chatted a little, I don't remember now but we may have smoked another joint. I knew I couldn't stay much longer. While my husband knew where I was, with who, and what was happening, I still wanted to hurry home to him. I wanted to make sure he felt secure with what was going on, so that I could enjoy her again. Because after that night, I had a feeling that I would be enjoying her again, and soon.
  35. 10 points
    Sex anyway any time, with or without clothes
  36. 10 points
    I have not been able to stop thinking about what it would be like to be with a woman. I've had these thoughts before but just recently have I actually wanted to know what it would be like in reality. The thought of being naked with another female turns me on so much. I have found myself searching for pictures of breasts often, and thinking about how much I would like to kiss and touch them, and have mine touched by a woman. I'm still not sure I would ever want to really act on it - I'm married - but the thoughts are so good.
  37. 10 points
    I wanna fuck myself to thoughts of you. I’m tired, and tipsy, and it seems like it makes thinking of you all that too easy. Thinking of your soft skin and sweet smell; your eyes, your hips, your lips. I wish I could fuck myself to thoughts of you. Not feel guilty that I only had you once and shouldn’t want more. Not feel bad about your fiancé not knowing. I can’t fuck myself to thoughts of you. I want you so much it itches at my flesh, but as soon as my fingers graze my body, I freeze. We’re friends; or at least that’s what we are trying to be. I shouldn’t... We’re a firework that’s been canceled, we’re exhaustion and satisfaction waiting to happen; we’re what’s pretty about war: When it doesn’t happen. I want you. Can’t have you. And, as it turns out, can’t even get myself off to thoughts of you. You’re too close. Too far. Do you ever think of me, wherever you are?
  38. 10 points
    There is a woman that I have loved nearly all my life. She was my best friend. We grew up together, but in time we grew apart. She was always so perfect. Gorgeous, smart, funny, athletic, artistic, nearly perfect. Her biggest flaw has always been her self-doubt. I remember going bathing suit shopping with her. Everyone looked incredible on her, and yet in her eyes her thighs were too big, her body not quite ideal. I loved her fiercely, I would have done anything for her. As we grew and matured, I felt her reluctance to be around me. She seemed to struggle with my budding sexuality. I dated plenty of boys, she never did. She never tried. Every time a boy worked up the courage to ask her out, she was always shocked that someone would be interested in her that way. She was never interested in them. I grew up, and I held on. I always called her first, I always made our plans. I always pushed her to step out of her shell, to get out into the world. I think she hated that, but she always answered, she always showed up. When I got married, she signed my marriage certificate as a witness. When I had my first baby she took a bus for seventeen hours so she could be one of the first to hold them. She was my best friend, and yet, I felt I didn't really know her. There was this part of her that she kept locked up, kept to herself. She hid herself from me, and that broke my heart. I remember talking to her about our childhood and confessing that I had always looked up at her, was always jealous of her. Her perfect family. Her gorgeous body. Her skills and talents. She was shocked. She told me that she has always been jealous of me. My charisma, my ability to easily make friends, my strength in being myself. I learned a big lesson that day, and finally look her off her pedestal. I came out as bi. Not to everyone, just to myself and my husband. I wrote a blog post about it on my website, and found some support from other queer people. I found myself thinking about her. Truth be told, I have long since suspected she was gay. At 25 she has never gone on a date with a guy, nor has she ever (to my knowledge) had a crush on one. Growing up we watched Sailor Moon together, and her favourite character was the tall blonde lesbian. My friend is tall and blonde. When I asked her if she was gay, or at least maybe a little bit less than 100% straight, she denied it. I doubted her. She has always struggled with internalized homophobia. I've been trying to get her to stop saying things like "That's gay" for years, and yet she won't. She's progressive in every other way, and yet... I realize now that I have long since been in love with her. I had a dream a few months ago involving making love with her, and that dream pushed me to go out and find this website. I needed to take the first step in living a life as a bi woman. I had come out, but I wasn't living the life I wanted. I wish I didn't still want her. I wish I didn't think about how close we used to be, or how perfect we would be together. It's strange, but my husband is so similar to her. Beyond his body, they are so similar. I often wonder what could have been. I wonder if she distanced herself from me because she struggled to see me date men. I wonder if she loved me as deeply and as fiercely as I love her. We haven't spoken in many months. I was fed up with her lack of effort. I told her I needed a real friend, someone who would show up, make the call, respond to my emails. She never responded. I miss her so much. She still lives at home, with her conservative parents who I doubt would be supportive of a lesbian daughter. She was taught that her role is to get married and raise children. Travel, adventure, gay clubs, these things are off limits for her. She is too afraid to venture into the world. She is too afraid to be her true self, and I'm left wondering what her true self looks like. She used to be so fun, so carefree and wild. Somewhere along the way she learned that she needed to tone it down, to slouch, to speak softly, to avoid doing anything that would draw attention to herself. I miss her so much, but I'm afraid to open up that old wound. Maybe I just need to learn to get over her. Maybe she isn't gay. Maybe she will never admit to being gay. Maybe she is already on Shybi, or sites like it, exploring her identity in a safe way. Where are you? Do you miss me? I wish I would stop dreaming of her. I wish I could just move on. I wish I had never fallen in love with my (possibly straight) best friend.
  39. 10 points
    I was at a party and a girl from work, who I had been getting heavy vibes from, and was a lesbian and out to me was there. As the wine flowed our eyes met more and more. She whispered to meet her in the bathroom so we did. She pressed me up against the wall and explored me intensely enough that I was hungry for more. When everyone left I found a reason to stay the night and so did she. She was gentle and loving and very generous and it lasted all night. Our next rendezvous was a few days later and we both were very active participants-I learned everything from her that afternoon and I just trusted my instincts even though I wasn't sure if I could please her the way she was used to. She knew it was my first time with a woman so she was sweet. We had one more rendezvous at my house-a strap on was involved-which was different for me since I had never used any type of toy. My relationship with my fiancee at the time was precarious as he was with another man as well so we had to end our amazingly intense whirlwind. I still think about her today and that was 20 years ago.
  40. 10 points
    I was married about 4 years and we went to a martini bar with a friend of ours. Both my husband and our friend Mike kept saying our cocktail waitress was hitting on me. Whatever...boys and their imaginations! So I got up to go to the bathroom and she walked in shortly after. Coincidence I was sure of it, washed my hands and went back to our table. A couple more martinis and another trip back to the bathroom but this time she stopped me short of walking in and made small talk, told me she liked my outfit and then followed me in. When I came out of the stall she was standing by the door. There was another woman in the bathroom with us and she washed her hands and left. Okay, it was obvious at this point. I washed my hands and as I was walking out, pretty nervous at this point, she stopped me, kissed me and then handed me her number. Needless to say I drank a few more before we left... i really didn't know what to think and it was a little over a month before I had the courage to call her. She was a lesbian and had no problem easing me into a whole new world with her. She never pushed me and she said I could set the pace....like I knew what in the hell my pace was! Sometimes I was completely scared and confused by the whole thing and other days, when I didn't over think it, it was amazing. I will say initially I had a harder time giving than receiving but I got over that pretty quickly when I realized she was not "judging my performance".
  41. 10 points
    My name is treelover, and I am a cheater I have a very different experience of cheating. When I joined here a couple of years ago, I was a Christian, monogamous and still convinced that cheaters are the worst people in the world. I almost crossed a line with a friend at that stage and felt horribly horribly guilty for it. But over time I realised that the way I've been practising my faith only caused guilt and anxiety. I've taken a bit of a break to figure out what I want. I guess at a later stage I'll find my way back into the Christian fold... Probably with a lot more compassion for those who badly fuck things up. My thinking about marriages has also shifted significantly. Before this, I have never really focused on what I want for myself, in life. I've been the good girl, toeing the line, pushing some of my significant needs to the background. I have a lovely family and a successful career to show for this restraint. But at age 40 I know there must be a more creative way of living my life. If I don't figure out what I want and look for safe ways of getting my needs met, I only have myself to blame. Then, I met an amazing woman, whose only fault is that she lives 8500 miles away. After a lot of renegotiating boundaries in my head, and starting conversations about bisexuality and non monogamy with my husband (that went nowhere), I came to a place where I decided to take this for myself. I want this, and fuck everyone, especially my judgmental younger self. I became involved in an affair. An amazing, wonderful, exhilarating life altering, beautiful affair. With an amazing woman. What a stroke of magical luck! I am trying to go about it in an ethical manner. I was upfront with my girlfriend, I am ready to face any consequences with my husband, should I ever be found out. I have become the person that, ten years ago, I would have judged very severely. But I'm trying to be good while betraying my husband. Surprisingly enough the world has not come to an end. I have not become some reprobate. I still care very deeply for my husband and I'm very committed to sorting stuff out between us to ensure that our relationship continues to work. I'm happier and more content. I love my life even more. And I've made peace with it all. Of course I would have preferred to have my other relationship out in the open, but it isn't an option. And disclosing is probably something that I need more than my husband does. So as contrived as it might sound... I'm having a clandestine relationship. Keeping it hidden works for everyone. Having it benefits everyone. I have no regrets.
  42. 10 points
    How right it felt even though I'd been taught it was wrong, how tender and loving it was, how much different it felt from my experience with boys, how luscious her kiss was..how I never wanted it to end.
  43. 10 points
    Know how you feel. Some days I think, oh well, never going to happen, get over it. Other days, I've thought about it all day long. Doesn't seem to be an answer. Don't want to destroy my marriage, but deeply curious.
  44. 9 points
    I've made a massive change in my life in 2017. I finished a dead 26 year relationship with a guy. Fell in love with a lady which went horribly wrong in the end and that almost destroyed me. And I've ended the year on a high. In a new relationship with a beautiful woman who has been true to her word and we have promise together. 2018 is a completely new future for me. Where I've huge decisions again to make. But I'm more settled than I've been in a long time and with a lady who has stood by me and supported me and I have with her. This is going to be a positive time and I'm happy.
  45. 9 points
    Congratulations for Australia's historic postal survery results - 61.6% say yes to same-sex marriage! (with a voter response of 79.5%) https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/live/2017/nov/15/australias-same-sex-marriage-postal-survey-results-live
  46. 9 points
    Thank you everyone for making Shy such a beautiful place.
  47. 9 points
    Thought the ladies on here may be interested. Deals with some of the topics we discuss on here regularly
  48. 9 points
    What I mean by that is does your husband/partner know that you have joined a site like this? I have just recently joined but my husband doesn't know. I feel a little bit bad but I need to talk to others who feel like I do and I haven't been able to talk to him for a while now...
  49. 9 points
    I agree with all this here. Going on my personal experience I was surprised how involved I was in the act itself, and also how connected I felt. With my previous relationship with a man I never felt like I was there half the time. Maybe I zoned out, maybe I just didn't like it, but I always felt distant like I was waiting for it to be over because I got nothing out of it. For the first time all my attention was on her, I was wrapped up in the moment. I felt like it was a very mutual experience. Of course I was inexperienced and as Allie said it's a learning curve at first but I was surpised how quickly I figured it all out. I was actually getting something amazing from sex and that shot my libido up tenfold. I'd avoid sex previously, now I was craving it because I finally understood why people wanted it so much. I do believe it was partly because she seemed to know exactly how to make me feel amazing and partly because she was a woman, which definitely turned me on more. The connection is something I've never experienced before with anyone else. I also enjoyed the newness of soft skin against mine, no hair or stubble scratching me. That was incredible. Even her smell was intoxicating which is also something id never experienced with men. It all added up to an incredible experience. I feel like I'm constantly learning new things and new ways to make it better too, it's not the same old routine. I was definitely scared of being naked in front of a woman. I felt maybe I'd be more judged or they wouldn't like how I looked. But i was made to feel more comfortable naked than i ever was my whole life. I was also worried about whether I'd like oral, it was one of those things I always thought about over the years. That even though I was attracted to women would I be able to go through with that. My lack of confidence in that made me feel like maybe it was just curiosity and sex would never happen because kissing was the only thing I felt comfortable with. Safe to say that when I met her that all changed, I was the one making all the moves. Which was a huge surprise to me. Anyway didn't mean for this to be so long, but I've had a mostly positive experience with sex with a woman. I've learnt to be more giving in the act as well as be more involved. Which has lead to incredible sex. There's been a few hiccups along the road because I was so new to it but it didnt take long to fix them. Loving the topic Shei
  50. 9 points
    I think it's mega hot to kiss after someone's been going down on me, or vice versa. If she's made me cum hard, I want to kiss her, regardless of my flavor on her. I want to attack her after she makes me cum!!