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  1. 20 points
    I just got what I've wanted for so long. I can still taste her on my lips. I can still smell her. She tastes amazing. She smells amazing. She looked beautiful. The sounds she made. The way she arched her back. The way she looked at me. The intensity of her staring into my eyes and smiling while i could feel her fingers inside me. Everything else faded away. I kept wondering if it was really happening. My bra and panties are still at her house, they're hopelessly lost for tonight. I don't give a fuck because of how that came to be. I have other bras, and she'll find mine tomorrow and remember why it's there. I almost got to fall asleep in her arms. But there were interruptions. She was asleep before the interruptions. (My dog is an asshole and wouldn't shut up... dog, husband and i ended up going home because of that). I only wish i could have fallen asleep in her arms. Held her close. Woken up with her. Gone down on her again in the morning. Saw that face she made again. And before i left, after she was asleep, her fiance thanked me for fucking her. And i thanked him for allowing me to. After nearly 4 years of wanting her... Did this really happen?? Holy fuck.
  2. 19 points
    I just wanted to make a short introduction. Glad I stumbled upon this website. Was being a little douche-y and browsing the forums for a few days before mustering up enough courage to actually sign up. Even though, one can be as anonymous as one wants on here, I am still feeling a bit nervous and cautious. Been married for 14 years with two beautiful children. Absolutely in love with my husband. Feel extremely grateful for my life and all that I've been provided. However, just like a lot of ladies on here (remember stalky me was reading up on you guys?!), I have always felt attraction towards other women since forever. I had casually mentioned that to my husband when we were dating and he had made comments like, "oh too bad, you missed your chance" and "let's have a threesome!" We both knew that was just a lighthearted banter going nowhere. Plus, we are not that adventurous. Over the years, we'd talk about who we found attractive and agreed we had the same type! Again, this was all just talk. He is a pretty straight vanilla guy who just happens to be open minded enough to have chats like that. Him and I have an incredible relationship, he is my best friend and our greatest strength is healthy communication. Well, I had a very honest conversation about wanting to have an experience with a woman before I turned 40. Like a goober, I was hoping he'd give me his blessings and maybe even help coordinate! In reality, that conversation got quite intense and I think at that point, he may have realized that I was serious about it ...I had always been serious about it. He basically said that his biggest fear was that I'd leave him for a woman and he will be devastated. That broke my heart. And I kept reassuring him that, that wasn't going to happen. I have told him several times and I've meant every bit of it, that he is all the man I need or want and what I am curious about is something he can't give me. Our last conversation on this topic ended with him saying that he would like me to be happy and we have one life to live so if I want to experiment, I'd have to do it in secret. He wouldn't be able to be ok with it. I don't want to hurt him but I also agree with him that I should be able to experience what I think will bring me joy. I have found certain people attractive off and on throughout my life. I am finding it to be true more so now than before. I have never been with a woman before but I have a very strong feeling that I will love it provided the stars are aligned and the chemistry is there. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I can't see myself being the initiator. I am hoping it'll all happen organically. That's the only way I can justify it with minimal amount of guilt. Guilt. That's another topic for another day. Sigh. I have NEVER admitted to being bicurious to anyone other than my husband so writing this post has been terrifying as well as liberating. Thanks for reading and thanks for allowing me to be part of this community. I promise to keep my douchery to a minimum! Cheers.
  3. 16 points
    I have not been able to stop thinking about what it would be like to be with a woman. I've had these thoughts before but just recently have I actually wanted to know what it would be like in reality. The thought of being naked with another female turns me on so much. I have found myself searching for pictures of breasts often, and thinking about how much I would like to kiss and touch them, and have mine touched by a woman. I'm still not sure I would ever want to really act on it - I'm married - but the thoughts are so good.
  4. 16 points
    Does anyone else find this a turn on? I love the idea that I'm turning on someone I've never even met via sexy/naughty messages and we are perhaps doing naughty things to ourselves throughout the conversation. I'd love to try phone sex too... The thing is it's safe and you can have a fantastic orgasm without any dating hassles or playing games etc...
  5. 16 points
    I am bisexual.. I have always had an attraction to both men and women. I have never been in a relationship with a woman, other than friendship and some crushes.. which left me crushed. I am happily married. I met my husband 6 years ago this month. I was open to a deeper type of relationship at the time and looking to settle down. Our relationship isn't perfect, but we are pretty perfect for each other. - We work together as parents and as a couple which is very important to me. So, why do I feel like I still want to be with a woman sexually? - There are times, when it's an overwhelming sensation.. I can't stop thinking about meeting someone in a similar situation and having a sort of "friends with benefits" - "girlfriend" - I even have a difficult time describing it. So can you have both? Can you be happy in your marriage and still be attracted to women? Is this what being truly bisexual really feels like? A tug of war where you find yourself one day looking at a man and thinking "wow.. he is hot." And then another looking at a woman and think "she is so beautiful or sexy." - although 90% of the time I end of having more sexual fantasies when I see a woman than a man. - Perhaps it's because I haven't been sexually with a woman in so long.. - sometimes I just feel a bit lost.
  6. 16 points
    Forgive my sudden intrusion. Re-entry is what this is. I joined many years in the past and have rolled, tumbled and endured gushing wounds along this path to self-acceptance. I wanted... perhaps, even, needed that bright, shiny label. I was so eager to uncap the pink, purple and blue marker and spell my name on a white, fat sticker that I could fix above my heart: bisexual, here! I have learned that it's not so simple. I remember when I joined and I look back on the confusion, the fear, the titillation, the joy in finding others like me. I remember leaning over and looking down straight into the depths of my own uncertainty and wondering if it would be right to jump. And I did. I fell through darkness and light. Happiness and misery. I fell again, and again and again and again. And when I landed, and spat shattered teeth into my palm, I swore it was over for me. I swore that I would never venture outside of the neat little fence I set up for myself around this hut of isolation. It's too much trouble, I said, My heart can't take it. And yet... Sometimes I miss the connection. I miss having a reason to check my phone early... when the birds first chatter their sweet songs, accompanying the slow birth of the morning sun. I miss inside jokes, texted in the late afternoon. I miss pictures of self, taken for one, and one alone. I miss sending something that, when opened, would bloom a brilliant smile across a sweet face. I miss being wanted, desired. I miss the anticipation of heart-bursting ecstasy, signified by a lopsided red circle on a kitchen calendar. I miss sifting through a pile of sappy nicknames. I miss pinning the ultimate love song to her lapel and smiling, feeling my heart beat hard enough to vibrate my chest whenever I would hear it. I miss remembering every wonderful, stupid little detail about her. Like her favorite brand of perfume. Or the first time she heard her favorite band live. I miss breathing out warm passion and hearing it echoed back, in perfect sync. I miss all that, and more. Damn it. Sometimes, in small and large ways... I really want a girlfriend again.
  7. 16 points
    I've known my best friend Kat since college. While I was experimenting with girls, she saved herself for marriage to the perfect guy. They really are good together so I was surprised when she revealed to me that she was not entirely satisfied in the bedroom. He could give her a good dicking though. Guys, she even gave up her ass to him!! And apparently, his fingerbanging skills were top notch, but he would not put his mouth anywhere near her vagina. She gave him head all the time, but it was because she liked doing it as much as he liked receiving it. He's never returned the favor so she really didn't know...but the way he responded differently when she sucked him off made her want the same. She knew I was bi; I never hid it from her, so I wasn't sure why she was telling me this. I could have responded like a normal human, but Kat was gorgeous! And, she just so happened to be talking to me about something I was an expert in. So the words that came flying out of my big mouth were, "Jesus Christ, I'd go down on you in a heartbeat if I had the chance. You're hot as hell!" I instantly regretted it. The truth is, I'd always found her attractive, and I'd had a naughty thought (or two...or three...) about her, but I always feined disinterest for obvious reasons. Yet, there I was...basically telling her that I would fuck her. She took it in stride though and just giggled and moved the conversation forward like it was no big deal. That was 9 months ago. Besides my occasional bouts of feeling like a dumb ass for saying that, nothing about our friendship had changed at all. Fast forward to last weekend. She asked me to travel with her to a jewelry exposition she was having. This was not abnormal, we had taken overnight trips together on several occasions. But not since I said what I said. So the whole time we were driving there, I was being ultra careful that I did not do or say anything to make her think I was lusting after her. Everything was going well until the night after the tradeshow. It was a crazy busy day so we decided to have drinks and relax at the hotel bar. By the time we made it back to our room, we were both tipsy and giggling like teenagers. I headed straight for the shower while she plopped down on the king-size bed to call her husband. She surprised me by coming into the bathroom while I was still drying off in my towel. She undressed in front of me while I was brushed my teeth. She was lingering while naked a little too long so I had to ask her, "Ummm...what are you doing? I'm --" "Relax," she said, cutting me off and gesturing to her body, "we both know I don't have anything YOU have haven't seen before!" and stepped into the shower. She laughed heartily as she closed the glass door. I shrugged as I walked out laughing as well and called out, "Touché!" over my shoulder. So, about that king size bed. It was literally big enough that we didn't have to be anywhere near each other. I slid in on a side and hung out as close to the edge as possible. As soon as the lights were off and were laying there in the dark and silence, my mind started to wander. As I said, she was gorgeous and it was a real treat to have seen her naked earlier. Her tits were the perfect size. Her caramel colored nipples were tiny but erect. Her pussy was bare except for a small patch that was trimmed super low. By now you're probably getting how this whole time I had been overthinking & trying so hard to pretend I couldn't see her that I drove myself to thinking about her non-stop. I lay there fantasizing for a long time. Hearing her steady breathing and assuming she was fast asleep, I brought my hand down and started touching myself as I thought about how delicious she looked earlier. It was slow at first but then I started really getting into it. I realized I was getting carried away so I turned to make sure I hadn't woken her up and oh my fucking god, she was watching me. I don't know for how long, but just knowing that I'd been caught sent my heart racing. She didn't say anything though. She just smiled and bit her bottom lip a little. What she did next shocked me. She slowly pushed her t-shirt up, exposing her breasts. Then she kicked our covers down so that I could see her hand which was now reaching down into her panties. I watched, in stunned silence, as she squirmed beneath her own touch. At this point, I knew that she knew what she was doing to me. I reached into my own panties again as I watched her. Her face took on a look of absolute pleasure as she watched me too. I couldn't stop myself from doing what I did next. I moved and laid on my side right next to her. Even then she didn't stop exploring herself, so I put a hand on her stomach, brought my face to hers, and kissed her. She kissed me back in a way that I can only describe as hungry, like she'd been waiting for my lips for so long. I moved to straddle her as we kissed and suddenly her hands were on my face and in my hair, then on my back pressing me onto her. I pulled away from her to take my shirt off. Her hands then found my breasts and she rubbed over them, gently grazing my nipples. I put my hands on top of hers and squeezed my nipples with her hands. I didn't want her to stop touching me, but there was something I wanted even more. I leaned back down, bringing her arms up over her head and holding them there as I kissed her again. I moved from kissing her mouth to kissing her neck. I could tell she wanted to reciprocate so badly. She was pushing her body hard against mine. I brought my face back up to hers, looked her in the eyes and said, "Keep your arms here. Just lay back and let me..." She inhaled deeply as I let her go and moved down, taking a nipple into my mouth. She let out several whispered Ohs as I teased her nipples back and forth with my hands and my mouth. I kept traveling down, leaving a trail of kisses from her chest to her stomach. I tugged at her panties and she moved to help me get them off. Wow were they soaked through! I continued my descent of kisses, returning to her stomach where I had left off. I knew she'd been craving this next bit for a long while (& if I'm honest, so had I!), so I took my time. I alternated between kissing and rubbing her mound as well as the crest of her closed lips. Whereas she was eager and rocking against me before, she was now calm and breathing deep, anticipating breaths. She yielded to me and allowed me to spread her legs myself. I kneeled between them with my hands on her knees. I took in the full view of her beautiful body in front of me as I let my hands slide down her thighs. I fondled the very outside of her lips with my thumbs, pulled them apart to see the sticky wetness that had gathered there. Laying down, I kissed one of her thighs and kept kissing down and down until I reached her pussy. She was so turned on that my mouth came away wet with her as I pulled back from my first tiny kiss. The first taste of her juices nearly sent me into a frenzy. Part of me wanted to be greedy and devour her. But I kept my resolve and kissed her clit gently at first, reaching out with only the tip of my tongue, then mouthing as much of it as I could, gripping with my lips and pulling it into a deep kiss. I felt her hands on my shoulders. "No touching, remember?" I cautioned her playfully. She brought her hands back up to rest on her head and tousled her hair, whimpering a little in frustrated ecstasy. I teased her like that for a little while, relishing the taste of her as she squirmed and moaned softly. Then I went all in, spreading her pussy open with my fingers and and putting my mouth and tongue all over it. I reached up with both hands and pulled her nipples while I continued to circle my tongue around and around her clit. She was moaning loudly now and I kept at it until my face was messy and her juice was dripping down my chin. I slowed down the intensity and rubbed her pussy with my fingers. She spread her legs as wide as she could and pushed her hips up just a bit as if to ask for more. Finally, pushing one finger in deep and letting it come to rest inside of her, I pushed my tongue down on her clit in a licking, sucking rhythm that took her to the edge. She was moaning very loud and grabbing at the bed sheets. She got louder and louder, screaming as she orgasmed. I liked the sound of that. I put my hands on her waist as her body shook hard and just held my mouth over her clit until the throbbing subsided. When she settled down I crawled back up beside her. She grabbed my face and kissed me, sucking my top lip, then my bottom lip, tasting herself off of them. I thought she would have been ready to settle down but she was instead ready to take what I had denied her earlier. Her hand reached down and rubbed my pussy outside of my drenched panties. She kept fondling until she had pushed my panties far enough aside that there was no longer a barrier preventing her fingers from sliding against my wet folds. She slid down and sucked on one breast as she gently rubbed my clit and dug deeper into my wetness. Her strokes were unsure but she continued to explore me trying to find my hole. I reached my hand down and guided her. Her confidence then grew with every thrust of her finger and at my insistence she gradually inserted another and another. She fingered me for a while before pulling her fingers out of me and putting them in her mouth. She looked right at me, coyly, as she sucked my juices off of her fingers. I turned onto my back and started masturbating, assuming she was not going to go down on me. I couldn't have been more wrong. She pushed my hand aside and brought her mouth down on my pussy and reinterpreted some of the same things I had done to her with my tongue. I reached under my leg and fingered myself as she licked me until I came. She came back up beside me and we kissed a few more times then caressed each other until we fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up to her kissing my shoulder, her tits pressing into my back. She reached under my arm and fondled my nipple as she grinded her pussy against my ass. I turned over and she straddled me. I reached down and pressed against her clit as she rocked against me. I couldn't believe she wasn't freaking out and instead wanted more. So I put my hands under her ass and urged her to sit on my face. I ate her out like that until she screamed again, grinding against my face as she orgasmed. Her tradeshow was from Friday to Sunday, so for three days I fucked her and made her come over and over again. She's tried to find an excuse to be alone with me since. Finally, tonight, after trading dirty pics and sexting all week, she's coming over to (her words, not mine) sit on my face. Mmmmnnnh. I should probably feel used, but I'm loving every minute of it! -------
  8. 15 points
    I have been imagining the kind of relationship I would have if I ever connect intimately with a woman. One thing that often comes to mind is my status in a woman's life. I prefer women who are either married to a man, or are committed to a man. I am very happily married and will always regard my husband as my #1. I seek those who respect that. As much as I would lust for, care for, adore, and possibly love a woman, I don't want to be the most important person in any woman's life. I want to be her #2. I hope that doesn't sound bad or self-deprecating.
  9. 15 points
    Being married does not make you blind to the world. You still notice people, and you still have needs that a man simply cannot meet because he is not a woman. It has nothing to do with how happy you are with him. I think it's natural as a bisexual person to desire the gender opposite your partner. Not everyone wants to pursue that, but many do, and that's okay. You just need to determine if it works for your marriage. I think there's also the element of the unknown, of not having experienced sex with just you and another woman, which IS a different experience than a threesome. Perhaps had you had that experience before, you might not crave this so much, or maybe you would. It's hard to know. But I think that does play a role. So many bisexual women end up married to men, I think partly out of a desire to procreate (on a more subconscious level) and fit into societal pressure, and then as we get older, we realize how strong the desire is to be with a woman and experience that which we have not. We start realizing that we need to tend to our own desires and live our own experiences while we can. It sounds like your husband is open-minded. You never know what he will or won't be okay with, but you won't know until you ask for what you want.
  10. 15 points
    So, a few years ago now when I first became a moderator here I decided to write a blog explaining my life to date, my journey if you will. A little background on the woman who'd become your new mod. But, after deciding to leave shybi shortly after, I deleted that blog along with my profile before I left. Looking back at that now it seems kinda foolish, mostly because I didn't back up a copy before I erased it, and because of that here I sit at my keyboard once again. At the moment I'm trying to remember what I shared, but my memory isn't my best feature so I guess I'm starting this from scratch. So here goes... This will likely be my only blog, like an extension of my profile if you will. Just to let you all know who I am and why I'm here. Maybe I can help some of you with my story in the process. I'm not one to overshare usually, not with strangers anyway, but I do like to use my experiences in life in order to help others, so I'll try to do this without going into too much detail. My story began like a lot of women here, growing up I always felt different to the other girls. I was very close in age to my sister and cousin and so the 3 of us were brought up like siblings and spent most days together. When they'd have dolls and pretty dresses, I'd have cars, climb trees and get dirty. Now I don't want to sound like your typical uneducated idiot who believes girls should have dolls and boys should have cars, I believe in giving children whatever toy most interests them, there's no girl or boy toys in my house, but at that young age it made me feel like I was different because I wasn't your "typical girl" like them. As I got older they started to discover make up, and do each other's hair, and I'd be out playing sports and not giving a crap about how I looked. All my friends were boys, I did try and make friends with girls but I just didn't feel comfortable being around them because they didn't like what I liked. It wasn't until I was 12 that I finally became best friends with a girl. She was nothing like me, she loved make up, and boys (something I'd never even thought about). We would spend a lot of time in her room listening to music which was something we both loved, and talking about whatever pop star we had a crush on. I didn't really notice boys at that point, but I went along with it because I wanted her to like me. We did everything together, we were always together, then I started to develop feelings, for her. At that point I told myself it was wrong, that it wasn't how things were meant to be. In the end I became really jealous every time she spoke to any other girls, and maybe that became more and more obvious to her, then after a while we were no longer friends anymore. I was devastated. Told myself I'd not let that happen again and went back to making friends with boys until my late teens. I think this was the realisation for me that I was different, but because I felt it was wrong I hid it from everyone and tried to push it down inside me hoping if I ignored it long enough it would go away. I was 19 before I got into my first serious relationship with a man. I never really trusted them to be honest, things had happened in my past that made me very wary of them, and so it wasn't easy for me to even talk to them never mind trust them. We met over the phone, we started texting on some chat function our phones had back then. It was 2003 and not a lot of people I knew had the internet, nor did we have the flash phones we have these days. He was very sweet and kind, he told me his story, I told him mine, we connected in a way I never had with anyone else and we met after talking for 11 months. He travelled around 200 miles to come see me where I live, he met my family and was the perfect gentleman. Everyone loved him. I had an inkling back then that even though he was this wonderful amazing man that loved me no matter what, that something just wasn't right about us. I put it down to my anxiety and having little experience with relationships. I'd struggled many years with health issues, which I told him all about, he understood when I told him about my depression and anxiety issues, because he himself had them too. But when it came to my physical health issues it was a new thing for him. But he surprised me, he was completely understanding, accepting, and patient. You see I've had a genetic connective tissue disorder called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome since birth, you hear about it a lot more these days but back then it was unheard of. I suffered with daily joint dislocations and pain, not to mention all the other wonderfully gruesome stuff that comes along with it. It didn't phase him, he was there during surgeries, hospital appointments, medication trials, he saw me go through some of the worst years of my life. He was also the first person I told about my attraction to women, again it didn't phase him at all. He was completely understanding of my admission that I was bicurious, which is essentially what it was back then, and told me that as long as I was always honest with him and never unfaithful, he had no problems with this. That's when things started to turn kinda pear shaped in my eyes. He kinda gave me that acceptance that I'd always looked for, and I started to notice women a lot more after that. I would often comment on a beautiful woman when I was with him and he'd laugh and agree. Then it progressed, once again I made a female best friend. I was new to the internet and we kinda met online, we spent many years being the best of friends, telling each other everything, sharing stuff that girls share with their besties, but we never actually met which I think helped me avoid temptation. It took a while to develop but I started to have feelings for her. So I went to my boyfriend and told him, he made the odd joke here and there and referred to us as "the lesbians" when in our company. We'd just laugh it off, sometimes I would make a comment that was maybe overstepping for him but because she would respond to it, in a jokey fashion, he seemed okay with it. I crushed on that girl for so many years, but like the previous friend we drifted apart. She moved on with her life, got a boyfriend, and we just stopped talking as much as we used to. I was so sad, it was like I'd ended a romantic relationship. My boyfriend could see it too, he tried his best to even help us reconnect but it never happened and so I just moved on with my life too. Had a big surgery after that and he was my rock through the recovery, learning to do things as simple as walking again, but as always was very understanding and patient. He asked me to marry him shortly after, and I said yes. Fast forward to the day I joined shybi, it was 2011 and myself and my fiancé had been together for almost 8 years. We were happy enough I guess, things never did seem right but I thought maybe it was because we'd been together a long time and relationships do change over long periods of time. I didn't talk to him anymore about my feelings for women, I kept it all bottled up inside and hoped it would go away, after all I was engaged now and so what did it matter. But the years took their toll on me and I found myself more and more unhappy. Then I found this place. I was randomly looking online, searching the terms "bicurious" and "bisexual" and I guess trying to understand it. That's when I came across this place. It was like an Aladdin's cave I must admit, I was incredibly keen, ask any of the old mods here what I was like haha. It was like I'd finally found a place I could be me. I didn't want to come over as depressing, nor did i want anyone to know of my disabilities, and so I decided to create a persona, and that is when "Rocky" was born. I was a huge flirt, I think I hit on every girl who showed an interest in me. I posted all over the forums too, I had finally found a place full of women like me. I wasn't here to find someone, I wasn't here to hook up or date, I was simply here to be myself without judgement. Even if I did come across as trouble, and got in trouble a few times, I loved every second of it. I think the ladies here started to get to know me too, they saw through my mask and discovered that underneath it all I was actually a really kind, caring and understanding individual. People would come to me with their problems and I'd always do my best to help out. I became a permanent fixture here after only a few weeks and I'd never been happier. Now I don't suppose she'll mind me talking about it here, I won't give names or details, but after only a few weeks it happened again. I met someone. We flirted, we talked, we got to know each other, and we soon realised we were very alike. Our lives similar in creepy ways, our hobbies and interests were mirrored in each other, even our boyfriends looked alike, and we soon realised we could tell each other everything. We became the best of friends, we knew there was more there and we often discussed it in detail, but in the end we knew that nothing would ever happen because we both wouldn't leave our partners, and mine wasn't open to anything outside the relationship. Not to mention she was American and I never thought there was a chance we'd ever meet. But we became best friends, and our boyfriends became friends too, and then our families, after a while it was like we'd always been in each others lives. But deep down my feelings for her clouded my judgement and I made foolish mistakes that cost me her friendship, and my relationship, on multiple occasions. I shared with her how I couldn't hide who I was anymore, and she supported me in whatever I wanted to do. So I told my boyfriend that it had happened yet again, but this time it was different. I wanted more, I'd overstepped boundaries, I essentially betrayed him and went behind his back, not in a physical way but emotionally. He was crushed. We talked a lot after that, I think I was finally able to get across to him that this wasn't just a curiosity, but this was me, and had been me this whole time. He told me he'd forgive me, that we could make it work if I was more open and honest with him, but I wasn't to seek out a woman again because he couldn't handle that betrayal again. I agreed at that stage, I told myself I couldn't lose him even though at that stage I realised that maybe I'd become more dependant on him than anything. I told myself no one would want me the way I was and he did. Why throw that away? Guess what, you guessed it! It happened again. But this time it was different. After being here for a while I decided to leave shys, I continued my friendship with the girl above outside of shys, and even though I've put her through a ton of shit over the years I'm pleased to say we're still friends. But I couldn't stand being here anymore. I could see all these women talking about their experiences, their girlfriends, and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I got on with my life and tried to forget about the place. Then one night, I got into a conversation with my friend from here about our relationship, it was always kinda odd, and people would often ask us if we were dating we were so close, but I felt I could still talk to her about my feelings. That night we talked about how my feelings were still all over the place, that even though I'd gotten over this crush with her, I still wanted to be with a woman. I was miserable and I didn't know what else to do. We talked about it a lot and she told me she'd support whatever I chose to do, and with that, I decided to come back here one night and see if my old friends were still around. I logged into chat on December 5th 2013, I was approaching my 30th birthday that month, and my 10 year anniversary with my fiancé. I didn't recognise anyone at first, then a few familiar faces popped in and it was like I'd never left, and there she was. I'd noticed that all the girls in the room were flirty and outgoing and so my old persona sneaked back in pretty quickly, I started to flirt with everyone in the room I think, I'd been gone a while and I was like a kid in a candy store I guess. But she stood out, to this day I still don't know why her name caught my eye. Something about her just drew me in and I found myself wanting to know more about her. She was the quietest in the room, not really talking much, and maybe that's what intrigued me a little, she wasn't falling victim to my charms like everyone else haha. I tried my hardest to get her attention but she didn't really respond. Then I asked a question, so where is everyone here from? Everyone replied, and then she did, Michigan here.... My first thought was oh no not another one You see the girl I mentioned above was also from Michigan and I made some stupid joke about how I had a thing for women from Michigan. She laughed and went back to being quiet. I did my usual stupid chat stuff, flirted, virtually dancing with the others, think I virtually stripped at one point, but she never said a thing. So I decided I was gonna send her a PM. The reason I had for messaging her was a stupid one, and was all I could come up with, but it got her attention. We chatted for a little after that and then went back to the main room where she started to join in a little more. After the night was over I left her a "Hey you" kinda message on her profile and she responded. From that moment I knew this wasn't your average attraction, after all I had no idea what she even looked like. For the first time I was drawn to a woman before I'd even laid eyes on her. This was a different kind of connection. We talked on and off numerous times after that night. I'd log on to see if she was there and when she wasn't I'd log out again. She wasn't around for a little while after that and I found myself asking around to see if anyone knew where she'd gone. No one knew. Then one day she came back, I didn't ask where she'd gone or what she was doing, I just told her I was glad she was back. I got a little forward after that and asked her for a photo, at this point I was already hooked and I told myself I didn't really care what she looked like because we'd connected in other ways. She told me she didn't share her photos here but she'd pm me one. I was so nervous, what if she wasn't what I usually go for? what if that would be a problem? I loved her personality already, and as much as I don't care about looks, I felt that some kind of attraction had to be there. I opened her message and saw her, she was adorable. I told her right away, I think it made me even more keen to pursue her. But I played it cool this time, I wasn't about to ruin this. Then one day in January of 2014 I made a status, a status that was seated in my depressive nature, she responded in a caring concerned way and told me if I ever needed to talk to message her. She told me later she never thought I'd take her up on the offer and was pleasantly surprised when I did. We got talking, not much, just bits here and there but in private. I showed her my weird bendy joints, mostly I was curious about how she'd react. It didn't phase her, at all, she'd worked in the medical field and anything of that nature didn't scare her off, she seemed more intrigued than anything. So I made the choice to ask if she'd like to chat outside of shys, she was like... Sure! Where? And I said how about WhatsApp? Here's my number, add me, I'll be there. She told me later that she didn't think I was serious, that a girl like me would give her the time of day, that she tried to call my bluff and she was shocked when she found out I was being serious. And that's how Tbare and I began. Outside of shys we became inseparable, we talked every day, we'd call each other, skype, and those feelings I had for her only grew. This was unlike anything I'd ever felt before and at that point I knew, I was gonna have to come clean yet again and tell my fiancé. Only this time I wasn't sure what I was gonna do. This time I couldn't just cut ties and apologise, this time I couldn't push it deep down and forget. I was in love, and it kinda felt like the first time. My boyfriend slowly saw my relationship with her develop over time. He told me of his concerns but I just shrugged them off and said everything was fine. He knew it wasn't. I knew it wasn't. Then one night she told me something on the phone, some bad news, and I broke down in tears. I was genuinely sad for her, I was a mess when my boyfriend walked in and saw me sitting there in a puddle of tears. He had no idea what was wrong and just hugged me in silence. Eventually he asked what was upsetting me so much, and I flat out told him that this girl was going through something and I wanted to be there for her, the fact that I was stuck here and I wanted to be there with her was making me miserable. I didn't want her to be alone. I loved her. I think that was the night we both realised we were over, we were distant after that. I guess we went through a separation, he said he needed time to think before we sat down and talked about it. I saw this as an opportunity to spend more time with her and that was when I knew that my relationship with him was over. Shortly after this the woman who I loved most, my grandmother, my best friend, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. 6 weeks to 2 months they told us at the hospital. As I was the only one not working in my family I stepped up, I was gonna take care of her like she had done me when I was a kid growing up with so many problems. I gave it my all, I was on 24hr call, feeding, toileting, changing, I saw my nana go from the strong independent woman I admired and loved turn into a shell. It broke my heart. I was there for everything, good and bad, we got to spend the most amazing 6 weeks together. But they were also the most heart breaking of my entire life to date. I didn't want to put her through the knowledge that my relationship was over, she'd loved this man like her own grandson for over a decade, they were the best of friends. He was heartbroken when he found out, but agreed we would keep up appearances while she was still with us. He visited her when he could, he'd hold her hand and talk to her for hours, he'd hold bowls under her while she puked up whatever meds they gave her that day, he helped me take care of this amazing lady and for that I will always be grateful to him. During the 2 months my nana was sick I decided to introduce her to T, I kept thinking she isn't gonna get to meet this amazing person I want to share my life with. They had to know each other. So I told her all about her, her life, her family, our friendship, she was always so intrigued about her and always asked about her and how she was doing. Then they spoke on the phone one night while I left them to go do dishes, I came back to hear them both in fits of laughter. They got along well. Then she stopped laughing and said to her, I wouldn't say this if I didn't mean it but you're a very beautiful girl, and I'd love nothing more than if you were my 5th granddaughter. That was exactly what I wanted to hear, even though I never really knew if she knew (She asked me on several occasions why myself and my boyfriend had split up, and I kept saying we hadn't) I always told myself that she did and she accepted her and us. Even if she didn't, or wouldn't have, it didn't matter after that. My nana loved me and nothing would have gotten in the way of that. I was there when she took her last breath, I held her hand and told her I loved her. Was the hardest thing I've ever done. T was there for me every day, talking to me, listening to me, sometimes just hearing me cry for hours on end. She gave me the reassurance and the strength to get through it all. She was my rock and I couldn't have done it all without her. On the day my nana died my fiancé showed up to see her, but it was too late for him to say goodbye. I reached out to hug him and he pulled away. I asked him if I could please have a hug, that's all I wanted, he eventually obliged but instantly pulled away. I asked if we could talk, he said it was too late and that I'd made my choice. I guess I just wanted a chance to make a clean break, to talk it all out and say what needed to be said. But he wasn't up to listening, and to be honest I don't blame him. To this day I feel guilt ridden over the whole thing, he was a good man, and I'm not the type of person to hurt anyone. I care too much to ever hurt someone. Yet here I was hurting the one person who'd been there for me for over a decade, no matter what. I wish I could go back sometimes, not to change where I am now, but to change how it happened. I'd have the decency to tell him straight. The last thing he said to me was, we all make mistakes in life, that he has made his fair share too, but we made these mistakes to learn from them. That he hoped that what had happened meant that I'd learn from it and never do it again. I promised him that. He walked away after that and we didn't speak for a long time. It's been 3 years now and we're finally in a good place, we can talk and be friends to an extent, and we still help each other out when we can. I truly hope that he finds someone who is worthy of his love, because like I tell everyone still, they don't make a lot of men like him anymore. My relationship with T only blossomed after that. I went to visit her 4 times in America, which was terrifying as Id never flown before. The first time was in the fall for 2 weeks, second time in the summer for almost a month, the third time again the following summer for almost a month, where she got down on one knee and asked me to be her wife, and then last but not least the fourth time for a month over the Christmas and New Years holidays. We struggle with the distance like any other couple in a LDR, but we make it work. We just had our 3 year anniversary and we couldn't be happier. I have truly found my soulmate, the person I want to spend my entire life with. But at the same time I found myself, which was the most important thing in all of this. We continue to grow as a couple every day and our love for each other has never failed, and it's been tested so many times. I know that she is my happy ending, and I will always do my best to progress forward and get closer to the day we can be together permanently. My family love her and have accepted my relationship with her, although it took some time, and her family love and accept us just the same. We're always gonna encounter people who think we shouldn't be together, and sadly we've known of a few, but the most important ones, and their opinions, are the only ones that matter to us. I thank this place every day for her, she is my reason for all that I do. I fight harder, I achieve more, and I never give up, because of her. She has had such a profound impact on my life, and I have never loved anyone like I love her. She makes me happier than I've ever been, and I hope that I can always make her proud of me as we go through life together. She is my reason for getting up every day and fighting the hand I've been dealt, and I like to think the support, love, and adoration that I have for her has made her more accepting of who she is, and how far she's come, because she is truly an amazing, strong and beautiful woman, and I couldn't be luckier in life than to have her by my side. So I guess I wanna finish this blog (If you've gotten this far) with this, don't be someone you aren't. Don't portray yourself to be anything less than the amazing, unique, individual that you are. We are all blessed with this ability to see the beauty in people, no matter the gender. I think that's a pretty amazing ability to have. So why hide it. I know there are women out there who can't be open and honest to everyone they know, and that we live in a world where this is seen as something wrong in the eyes of many, but never hide it completely. I tried and it ended in disaster. It wasn't until I accepted who I was and embraced it that I was finally able to be happy. Even if the only place you can be open is here, be open, be proud, and never, ever, see it as a curse. I hope not only I, but others who read this, can learn from my mistakes and go on to use this as a way to make their life better. Rocky x
  11. 14 points
    Many of us are drawn to a bit of emotional danger. We like the girl who is mysterious, who keeps us guessing, and on our toes. We like the girl we know we have to compete for. It makes us feel awesome when and if we win. She's had a rough past, and we want to believe we can be the one to change things for her, we think we could be the magical cure that makes her feel happy and loved. She is the kind gestures that you have never preformed for another women. She is the thoughts that consume you at night when you're alone, and you hate to admit that you're thinking 'Is she in someone else's bed tonight?' Eventually you wake up and realize that you're not enough for her, no one is, and no one ever will be. After enduring these kinds of relationships and wondering if all people are like her, you cross paths with a different type of girl. She seems to be like a magical creature, handcrafted by Disney, she is the unicorn girlfriend, you blink twice, checking to see if she is real. Someone so beautiful, funny, intelligent, emotionally sound and uncomplicated couldn't possibly exist outside of a work of fiction. Could they? You're amazed when you discover she doesn’t play games, she tells you her intentions from the start and holds true to them. You're confident you aren’t going to lose her, she loves you and has prioritized you as important, that not only makes you confident in her, but yourself as well. She tells the truth, when you say or do something she may not agree with, she’ll let you know without being passive aggressive about it. She follows through with her promises, the things she says she’ll do she actually does. She values your relationships with others, not only is she trying to make things work with you, but she tries to make a good impression on your friends and family too because those people are important to you. She doesn’t add extra stress to your life, and she makes you feel better just by smiling at you. She’s doesn't insult you or make you feel bad, she lifts you up and her affection is genuine. She challenges you to be the best version of yourself, she doesn’t want to change you, but sees the potential of what you can be, and encourages you to live up to it. She loves the wonderful things you do for her, but she isn't a one way street, doing sweet things for you too genuinely makes her happy. Like showing up during menstruation week with your favourite movie and chocolate and lots of cuddles because she cares. When you go out with her, all other women seem to fade into a blurry grey background, and all the colour and light in the room seems to be coming from your girl. That's how awesome you think she is. The best part? You're not afraid to tell her, because you know you're the apple of her eye too. There is no fear in your relationship with her, no insecurity, no anxiety, no games, and the love is true. I'm making a point to stay away from headwreckers from now on. Bring on The Unicorn!
  12. 14 points
    I've found a lady who actually understands me. She is decent and loves me and I do with her. We have no secrets from each other and we are true to our word with one another. She's taken the big step of introducing me to her mum and brother. She's never done this before. We've both come from rubbish situations where we are rebuilding ourselves after difficult previous relationships. We are now doing this together. It's early days but all the signs are good for us both. Here's hoping this continues as I've been burned badly before with a woman and it almost destroyed me. For the first time in a long time I feel positive again for the future. Hope it continues.
  13. 14 points
  14. 14 points
    We hope you've all been enjoying the new upgrades to the site! With updates come an updated draft of the site rules, which are essentially the same as they've always been, but always bear repeating. Please note these may change at any time based on the needs of the site and its members. Safety is our number one priority, but not something we can ever guarantee. Please don't be afraid to reach out to the moderators with any suggestions or for help if you feel your safety is in jeopardy (related to the site). THIS IS NOT A DATING SITE. Any posts or profiles suggestive of searching for dates/hookups/sexual chatting will be subject to edits or removal, and members may be warned, placed on moderator review, and/or banned from the site. This is a women-only site. Anyone who identifies as a woman is welcome here, including members of the trans community. Only one person per account, and only one active account per person. 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  15. 13 points
    Many of us have been in abusive relationships, and it seems each day there's a new thread or post about someone who thinks they might be, so I thought it might be helpful to put a few things together in one place. Whether you're in an abusive relationship, recently freed yourself from one, watching someone you love in one, or something else, this thread can offer something for you. It is and will likely continue to be a work in progress. I invite all members who have some experience with abuse and/or links to resources to post with the hopes of helping other members find health and happiness. I will link some of the threads already on the site with stories of abuse so that they might help others. Please hare how you experienced the signs of abuse, how they affected you mentally, what kept you from leaving, how you got out, and anything else you feel might be relevant and helpful to others. Remember that abuse isn't always physical, and doesn't always become physical. Abuse can be emotional, narcissistic, financial, psychological, sexual, etc. It can include shaming, gaslighting, isolation, violation of boundaries, making you feel trapped, invalidation, minimizing, feeling like you need to walk on eggshells, and many other unhealthy behaviors. Rarely is it all bad, either, which adds to the confusion. In the beginning, it is often fairy tale wonderful, and even as the relationship continues, we catch glimpses of this, just enough to give us hope that things might improve someday. Few would stay with someone who treated them badly 100% of the time, but many of us have stayed even being treated poorly 90% of the time. NO ONE deserves to be treated like this. I will also include some definitions and links as I build up this post. I can add helpful resources to the original post as they come up. Many of the links below are on very helpful sites with lots of other posts, so feel free to click around. Please feel free to create your own threads with questions, as this post is more dedicated to answers and resources. *********************************************************************************** Characteristics of an abusive relationship Excerpt: The relationship may be abusive if one of the partners: Withholds affection or approval as a form of punishment. Criticizes and shouts at their partner, or calls them mean, negative, and hurtful names. Ignores their partner's feelings and insults their beliefs, ideas, and/or values. Lies to their partner to manipulate and control their thoughts. Insists their partner look a certain way. Humiliates their partner in public. Keeps their partner from seeing and having contact with friends and family. Prevents their partner from communicating with others or restricts their means of communication, such as taking away their phone or computer. Withholds resources such as money or transportation. Makes their partner feel guilty if they spend time with other people, thereby isolating them. Puts their partner in dangerous situations, such as driving recklessly, driving under the influence, or abandoning them. Displays violent and threatening behavior, like throwing objects, or hitting, punching, or slapping their partner. Locks their partner out of the house, or traps them in a room. Rapes or sexually assaults their partner, or threatens to do so. Threatens to commit suicide if their partners leaves or confide in someone about the abuse they are facing. Threatens to hurt their partner or their loved ones, including themselves. Threatens to kill their partner if they leave or confide in someone about the abuse they are facing. A person may also be in an abusive relationship if they: Experience fear in their partner's presence, or fear of what they may do to them. Want to leave the relationship but feel as though they cannot. Believe they deserve to be harmed or punished by their partner. Feel guilty or feel like everything is their fault. Are afraid of being alone with their partner. Signs you're in a toxic relationship General info about abusive relationships Narcissistic abuse Signs you've been abused by a narcissist Gaslighting: manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. Signs you're being gaslighted More about gaslighting Isolation Financial abuse Financial abuse from Women's Law MANY helpful links on this site- click around!!! Signs of a sexually abusive relationship Physical and sexual abuse Getting the courage to leave Recovering emotionally Unspoken Secrets about Life After Abuse Rules of No Contact Hoovering and No Contact Gray Rock Additional sites with many helpful articles and links: One Mom's Battle: about divorcing a narcissist, especially if you have kids Narcissisticabuse.com Loveisrespect.org National Domestic Violence Hotline Darkness to Light child sexual abuse Luke 17:3 Ministries Christian-based abuse resources, excellent even if you are not Christian Out of the Fog info and forum about personality disorders Books you may find helpful: Divorcing a Narcissist series by Tina Swithin In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People by George Simon Jr. PhD Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD and Randi Kreger BIFF Response by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. *************************************************************** ShyBi Threads:
  16. 13 points
    Omg. I’m going through a “longing” and “aching” for it stage, right now. I haven’t had sex with a woman since April of last year. I’ve officially created a new record of the longest time w/o doing the nasty. In the meantime, I’ve turned to porn to get some jollies. Lol. I’m absolutely obsessed with real, homemade porn. I LOVE it when I can hear the girl cumming. I love how she rides her face. Ugh. And since I have no one else to share it with in my real life (my straight friends would think I’m prob trying t throw a hint their way): http://www.homemoviestube.com/videos/396813/lesbian-face-sitting.html
  17. 13 points
    Be honest with him. Being with a woman alone is SUCH a different experience than a threesome. If you cave to HIS desires, it then becomes about him, and you start to resent him. And as @unknown said, you start to feel like you have to perform sometimes. Plus, you don't want to risk him feeling left out, and it's always on the back of your mind, even if for a moment it's just you and her while he sits back. I was married to a man who said ok to me being with a woman if we dated her together. He ended up REFUSING to let us be alone together, which was all I really wanted. It made it REALLY hard. The whole thing ended up really complicated and high drama. My marriage ended a year after we split with her, for other reasons. She and I ended up reconnecting later, and let's just say we had some "unfinished business." I'm glad we did, even though we're not together anymore. I wish it was a freedom my ex could have allowed me, but he has a tendency to make EVERYTHING about him, including this. Now that I am free, I exclusively date women (well, one woman), and it's MUCH better for me.
  18. 13 points
    Oh, labels, labels...how I hate them! In my experience, most bisexual and lesbian women are a combination of 'feminine' and 'masculine', and often unorthodox or non-conformist in various ways. Still, to this day (most recently in California, of all places, in July), people express surprise when I tell them I have a female partner, but only if they don't know me at all...because I am petite, have very long hair, and wear make-up, lots of jewellery, and sometimes 'feminine' clothes. C'mon folks - are we really still totally stuck on stereotypes in 2017?!!!
  19. 13 points
    I couldn't find the book I was looking for in library so I approached the librarian. She was cute in a geeky kind of way. Young too. Her hair in a bun wearing a blouse and knee length skirt and sensible shoes, but a hint of red lipstick told me there was more to her. She was probably in her twenties. I smiled at her and asked for the book I wanted. She smiled. "Come with me!" She winked as she said it. I followed her down the aisles filled with books. Past student beavering away and people trying to find the right book. At the back of the library she opened a door that said 'Restricted section - staff permission needed' and walked in. "This way and you'll find what you're looking for!" Strange! I knew the book I was looking wasn't going to be in this room and yet I felt compelled to enter the room. As I entered the room, she pointed to a shelf on the other side of the room. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was in here. I moved to the shelf and began to scan it when suddenly I realised she was standing right behind me, pushing herself against me, her arms reaching found and grabbing my breasts. "Like I said," she laughed, Come with me!" Before I had a chance to object or cry out, she yanked up my skirt and shoved her hand inside my panties and quite forcefully pushed her finger inside me. I was shocked I was so wet and turned on yet knew I should ask her to stop. "No," I murmured. "Oh yes you dirty little bitch." She whispered in my ear. "You want it. You know you do." She rubbed my wet, swollen clit with one hand and groped my breast with her other hand. "Oh god please stop!" I said. "No way!" She laughed. You're so desperate for a good fuck I can smell it. She turned me to face her. Her mouth on mine. Kidding me hard, still fingering my cunt with a passion I'd never experienced before. Her tongue explored my mouth. I heard myself moaning. Shocked I was responding to her forceful fingering. Scared someone was going to come in. I was getting wetter by the minute. She stopped for a second, stepped back and pulled the pins from her bun, letting her long dark hair fall to the floor and pulling off her glasses and placing them on the nearby table. Then she stepped forward and grabbed my blouse, pulling it hard, pulling the buttons apart and pulling it from my body. Tossing it to the floor. She stared longingly at my bra cover breasts. Ann Summers, sheer and white. I knew she could see my nipples through it. She licked her lips and I felt my clit quiver in anticipation. "Bend over the table," she ordered. "I... I.... I can't," I muttered, "What if....." But before I could finish she'd grabbed me and pushed me over to the table, pushed me forward and hoisted my skirt up and pulled down my panties. She forced my legs apart but my resistance was pretty futile and half hearted. Her fingers back inside me, she dropped to her knees and began to lick my cunt from behind. I cried out as it felt so good. Her fingers. Her tongue. Two fingers. Then three. My wetness audible. I was almost at the point of no return when she stopped and her hand came down on my ass spanking me hard. Two or three times. Her fingers and tongue back. Then each time as I was almost going to climax, the spanks came. I was desperate to come in her mouth and she knew it. After a while of her doing this, she grabbed my hair and pulled me back to standing and turned me around. Yanking off my skirt. Pulling off her own blouse and skirt. Omg! No panties! Just a neatly trimmed cunt. She took my hand and led me to the carpeted area and pulled me to the floor. She parted my legs, kissing me and opened her own as she lay over me finding my cunt with hers. Finding my clit with hers. Our rhythm was strong and hard. How had she known this was what I'd fantasised about for years. Our swollen wet clits loving each other so hard. I felt it rise through me. Wracking my body with a pleasure I'd never felt before as we came together clinging to each other as our clits combined as one. Omg! I'd barely had time to recover and her tongue was there. Between my legs. Licking and sucking my already satiated clit. Straddling my face I knew she wanted the same from me.mi took her clit between my teeth and nibbled as she cried out. I sucked, my tongue flicking backwards and forwards as hers mirrored mine. Coming hard I bucked hard, my hips grinding against her face, squirting hard, as did she and we drank each other's orgasms as we fell together, flicking each other's nipples as we stilled and quietened. A short while later, I left the library with a huge smile on my face, minus the book I went for: amazed by the unexpected fuck I'd found. I vowed I really had to go back and join the library tomorrow as I think I'm about to become an avid reader and library regular... I wondered if the other librarians provided a personal service like that.
  20. 13 points
    I'm horny AF right now, not having sex for going on 4 months. Agh! Soooo, I'm a little reminiscent this afternoon. She's younger than me, very pretty, with blonde hair. She has a firm body, that while thin is on the fuller side of that spectrum. Her small diamond of a nose piercing isn't very noticeable on this evening and she texts me if I'm going to be in the back seat. I'm pulled over on the side of the road, across the street from a church no less. I text her back that I'm a little apprehensive, being that I'm sticking out like a sore thumb on a residential seat. I see her approaching and unlock the doors. She gets in and I ask her how shes's been. She tells me as I caress her inner thigh with my finger tips; we're not wasting any time here and I'm nervous. She's my favorite kisser so far. Just a hint of tongue as things get going. I begin to kiss her neck and my hand works my way to her collarbone, stroking every so lightly. She wants to get in the back, she says, It's more comfortable back there, she pleads. I'm wary, but acquiesce to her invitation. I put the sunshade up to give us some modicum of privacy and we get in my backseat. Getting comfortable, we quickly begin to go at it, making out. I get down to the floor, perched on my knees and pull down her shirt, taking her breasts in my hands and a nipple in my mouth. She's moaning and I feel myself getting wet. She wants me to go down on her, but she doesn't want any digital penetration, which I'm okay with. She slides down on the seat and I take her hips, adjusting her to where I want her, and move her panties to the side. She's not all the way shaved, but nearly there. I kiss around her thighs and then decide to just go for it...I'm worried about someone seeing us...and I spread her legs further apart and start to suck on her clit. A few minutes later, she has both of her hands on my head, pressing my face down to get me to suck harder and deeper. I'm eating her pussy while playing with her nipples. When she cums, I look up and all the windows have fogged over, it's hot, and we both have a glimmer of sticky sweat on our skin. I miss her, lol.
  21. 13 points
    From my experience there's nothing specific you can say to him to reassure him. It's how you behave towards him, the attention you give him, and making him feel like he is still the most important person in the world. None of that is easy and it will take time and effort. My husband was amazing and so supportive at first, encouraging me to explore and reach out. But then I got close to someone and he got scared. A female relationship is intense and can make you question everything when it's new and exciting. The truth is, once you make that strong connection and you know she feels the same for you, it will consume you, and he will see that because he loves you. Therein lies the problem and the threat. The emotional connection that you have with someone else no matter how much you still love him and the the fact that he might lose you because of it. I remember him telling me he felt like he had to fight for me, when all I wanted was for him to be the same as he's always been because he gave me everything I needed from a man. But we've talked a LOT, established my boundaries, what he's comfortable with, and made a special effort to spend time together. She still consumes my thoughts, I've just become better at controlling and hiding it, which means he is happier because I'm more focused on him. It's taking time but we're finding a balance and I suppose I've proved myself to him now that he can see I'm not going anywhere. I wish I had the answers for you, but everyones marriage is different. My personal experience dictates that yes, you will need to let it run it's course and be aware of the signs that he's not coping so you can address it. It might not be easy but I hope you can work it out, find a balance, and enjoy the relationships.
  22. 13 points
    YEs! Yes to all of this. I love my husband and our family immensly but I have also always had crushes on women but nothing ever came of them. right after we had a kid i was so busy with all of that that i forgot about crushes, bisexuality, etc. There was just no time to think of it. But as my kid has gotten older I crushed again a few times. While still being in love with my husband. So yes it's possible. i also have recently found a girl who I am heads over hills in love with, but unfortunately many continents away. But she makes me so happy. So yes it's possible to want both. And it's also possible to have both! ;)
  23. 13 points
    Last week, I ran into a woman I've had a crush on for a good 3+ years. At the time, I was a nursing student, and she was a medical resident at the hospital where I was doing clinicals. I was married at the time, and in a triad relationship, but this woman and I had chemistry, and we would flirt harmlessly. I knew nothing would come of it, and I was honest with my husband and girlfriend about everything. When I left my marriage, she and I got matched on OKCupid, and she sent me a message trying to place my face. Once she realized who I was, she fell silent, and I didn't push it. I figured maybe once more time passed after leaving, I would reach out to her. So last week, I was taking my son to dinner, and she was there when we walked in the door. She was the first to greet me, and we chatted for a second about what we were doing professionally (she is no longer in the hospital, but I now work at that same hospital). She was on her way to a meeting, so we kept it brief, but I sent her a message on FB saying to send me a friend request if she wanted (her settings wouldn't let me send her one), and she promptly responded and sent a request. I waited until this past Monday to send a message to see if she wanted to have lunch or dinner sometime soon. She responded that she would love to, but as friends, as she just started seeing someone, and it became more serious over the weekend. I'm kicking myself for hesitating!! But oh well. So now my dilemma is that I want to see her and hang out with her, and kinda gauge the chemistry between us after all this time. Maybe it's gone, and that would make things really easy and straightforward. Or it's there, and I have to be honest with her that being around her while she's attached would be hard. I want to be respectful of where she is right now, but also be clear that if she becomes single again, I would like to take her out. I'm by no means waiting on her, but she is someone that I could see getting serious with if we ever go there. I have the feeling that she will become single just as things get serious for me with someone new, because that's how the cosmos work. I guess I'm just working through all this in my head, and trying to sort out the delicate balance of being respectful of where she is and of her GF, and being clear about where I stand. She's a pretty down-to-earth woman, intelligent, kind and honest. I'm sure she's going to be pretty honest with this woman about who I am and my interest in her, if we do hang out. Part of me really hopes the chemistry isn't there anymore, and I gain a good new friend. The other part of me hopes it's still electric and she becomes single sooner than later. I suppose time will tell.
  24. 12 points
    Had one of the most amazing sexual experience of my life this weekend. My girlfriend and I do not get a lot of alone time. Most of our alone time includes our husbands watching us or rushing us. This weekend it was just us and so amazing! I texted her around 5 and told her she needed to go ahead and shower before I got there, making it very clear what I wanted later on. When I got there we drank and talked and laughed so much. We talked about experiences from our past and so forth, things we have never discussed in the past. Later on she started flirting with me. I grabbed her and pushed her up against the counter and kissed her gently. She couldn’t handle it, she tried to put your hand down my pants several times and I stopped her everytime. I could feel the frustration building up and told her to just wait, we will get to that later. No need to rush tonight. I ran my fingers down her face and kissed her some more. We finally moved into the bedroom and I don’t think I even made it in the room fully before she was standing there naked. I followed suit and got in the bed with her. I’m not sure if I have ever in my life experienced that much passion as there was btw us at that moment. We both wanted it so bad. Looking at her completely naked on the bed with her legs spread open just for me was an image I don’t ever want to forget. I just looked at her for a minute watching her squirm begging me to touch her. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her. I kissed the whole way down her body and then kissed her very wet pussy. We didn’t hold anything back, we let it all out. We had our way with each other until we were both exhausted. I cannot believe I have went my whole life without experiencing this! If being with another woman is wrong, I don’t want to be right. It felt so right. Neither one of us wanted to let the other one go. We managed to get up and get dressed. I wish I would of been able to cuddle up with her and go to sleep. But I knew I had to get home. We went back to the kitchen and had another drink. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye just yet, I kissed her slowly for a long time before I let go. God I love that woman. Her smell is so intoxicating! I made my way to the door finally as it was approaching 2:30 I’m the morning. But she wouldn’t let me leave without one more long kiss on the front porch. I hope we have many more night like that in the near future. Definitely one of the top experiences I have ever had!
  25. 12 points
    I agree it's an interesting article, and it makes a lot of good points. I'm glad you shared it here! I know I really struggled when I shifted to focus on dating women, because men are SO much more aggressive, and that was what was familiar. I couldn't tell if a woman was interested. Even now, the women I've actually had relationships with have had to be VERY explicit with me about their interest, because I just wasn't picking up what they were putting down, I didn't want to "misread signals," etc. I came out at 18 as bi, then at 25 as gay, then 2 years later, opened back up to men out of frustration trying to date women, and ended up married to a guy (who treated me horribly, which is why I am not married to him now). When we divorced, I swore to myself no more men, and it's better for me. I think actually that desire to be romanced, as discussed in the article, is part of how I ended up in such an abusive marriage. He lovebombed me, and after 2 years of loneliness, I was so hungry for it that I skipped right past all the red flags along the way. I didn't grow up recognizing my attraction to women for what it was. I thought I admired certain girls, appreciated the female form, all that, but only in hindsight do I see I actually had crushes on certain girls. I definitely grew up feeling like I needed to be the chased, not the chaser. What I felt for girls was always different from what I felt for guys. I figured what I felt for guys was what there was. I love the egalitarian dynamic between two women. My girlfriend is very butch, and in some ways, definitely takes on a more "male" role in our relationship, but also in other ways, I get to see the difference and how we're on a more level playing field, and I love it. I will say that my coworkers now know her for bringing me flowers to work when she picks me up for lunch! She was married to a woman who ended up leaving her for a guy, who she subsequently married, and that has left her scarred for sure. She was a bit wary of me when she heard I'd been married to a man before, but I am most decidedly gay! My last girlfriend let our relationship fall to pieces over a guy she had met, so I can understand how lesbians, on the whole, are often hesitant to date bi women, and yes, most bi women, as we see all over this site, end up married to men in the end. I think a lot of it is on a subconscious level, that desire to procreate and fit into societal standards, especially if that's what you've grown up with. It takes a lot to feel good breaking free of that and settling into a life that goes against the grain. But for those of us who are only happy that way, it feels amazing.
  26. 12 points
    The donations are still in Paypal untouched for now until 1and1 get back to me tomorrow. If nothing comes of it, and the site closes all will be refunded. I can't thank everyone enough from the bottom of my heart who donated. Truly.. and I hope things are sorted in the next few days. I'll keep you all posted. I'm not long back from a 12 hour shift so apologies for not being able to clarify sooner. A few other clarifications :- Social media is killing off discussion/debate forums and has been for a while now. End of story.. However... women who find us here do NOT want to appear on social media. I understood that from the start and named the site accordingly... and it's also why Facebook/Twitter and all other social media icons are removed from the forum software. Too many are afraid that they share or out themselves accidentally or someone else does and cannot take that risk. Facebook and other media links and referrals are also needed now to rank highly in the internet stakes. But it's really not an option for this site and probably never will be. The internet has moved on since 2005 when this site started. The ethos of this site cannot since it's about being a safe harbour. Once moved we'll still be with the same hosts we've been with since 2009. Like an old mobile phone contract that hasn't been updated and you end up paying far more than new customers for the same or better services,... personal financial difficulties aside.. that's where Shybi has been for the last few years. On a 'bronze' server for nearly £250 a month, when newer clients were on the platinum for much less. I cannot afford £250 a month at the moment the new server is less than half that. The site may well end up moving again... but at the end of the day my appeal went out because whatever happened I did not want the site to end due to a few months financial difficulties. Better things for me are hopefully just round the corner ( new job fingers crossed )... I couldn't just let the site go down to a few skint months and that's why I reached out. Chat rooms etc... well IPB have closed even their own native and fully integrated chat rooms now. Things like that are another area dying off thanks to social media and messenger services. Other things such as 'clubs within forums' and many other progressive features are afoot in IPBoards now. But there's not point in harking back to wishing things were as they were on the net in 2010 or 2013.. Chat rooms etc can surely be done again, but integration with the database and safety is somewhat more problematic these days given that even the forum software makers have given up on them completely. IF things work out tomorrow with 1and1 the site will be ok for a while. I cannot do much about the site's fortunes in relation to Facebook groups and Twitter chats... but I do know for those that find us here and stay for a while, that this site has been worth every penny I've spent on it since 2005. Thanks once again SO much for the donations. They'll be put to the use they're intended within the next few days or refunded in full. Keep your fingers crossed. LF xxx
  27. 12 points
    The first thing you need to do before you leave the house every day is turn your gaydar on. How do you do that? It’s easy. You realize that 1 out 4 people have gay tendencies, whether they admit it or not. So the chances that the cutie pie at the checkout is into girls is actually higher then you think. Even if she hasn’t dated women before it doesn’t mean you can’t be her first. So turn your gaydar on by simply realizing that we’re everywhere. I know, I know, life would be so much easier if we all wore some sign or name badge identifying our sexuality, but we don’t. So get over it and step out of your little box long enough to realize that the girl you’re eyeing may be just as terrified as you, of making the wrong assumption. (from cardcarryinglesbian.com) Basically this is my personal technique for activating my gaydar: I assume that every woman I meet is either gay or at least bi until proven otherwise. That way I don’t close the door to any opportunities that might present themselves. Try it. It works. You’ll find yourself making eye contact more often, letting your eyes linger a bit longer on her lips, looking for signs of her queerness in the way she dresses or moves. You’ll start to get better at this the more you do it. Like anything, having good gaydar takes practice. So before we go any further with how to meet women, let’s work on recognizing fellow lesbians and ladies that may just be open to another woman, regardless of her current label. So my homework assignment for you is to do the following: Next time you’re at any store that you frequent, assume that the cute girl you see is gay. Just pretend that you know for a fact that she is. This doesn’t mean jump her bones in the chip and cookie aisle. It just means to act as if she is. Notice if you feel more comfortable around her? Make more eye contact and see if she holds your gaze, does she look at your lips and then back up to your eyes? But more then her reaction, it’s your reaction I want to know about. Let yourself act as if we live in a world where gay people outnumber breeders. Try not to be so self-contained, self-conscious and cautious all the time. (This doesn’t mean be reckless if you live in an area that you could get stoned for being gay.) I’m talking about a subtle attitude change that will affect the way you relate to other women.
  28. 12 points
    I found shys on a random google search one evening and was soon hooked. I had finally found a place where I could be open about my emotions for the first time in my life! It’s liberating! I have connected with some of the most amazing people who have made me open up (something I really wasn’t used to), they’ve listened to me on my down days (there have been many). We’ve laughed and shared stories and experiences, and every single interaction has made a huge difference to my life and how I’ve handled things along the way. I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to listen to me pouring my heart out even when you had your own problems to deal with so for that I am eternally grateful. One unique lady became very special to me early on. I felt that magnetic pull towards her and I wasn’t sure what or why I felt that strongly, but I did. We hit it off quickly. So much in common, the same interests and desires. Everything just clicked into place. She was all I could think about. We messaged every day and grew closer and closer. We were both open with our husbands, but sadly, they both became very insecure with our connection, which, to be fair, was stronger than either of us had ever experienced before, although we never told them how strong, I guess they could tell. As much as we love our husbands, we grew to love each other too and it consumed and scared us both. Despite their insecurities we had to see each other, with their consent, never crossing the line, and sticking to the firm boundaries that husbands had set. If you were hoping for a raunchy shys story, this isn’t it. It was however, the most romantic and loving relationship I’ve ever experienced with anyone before and I’m fortunate enough to have a best friend at the end of it too. It’s been 11 months since our first messages and we’ve become so close, even if friendship is all we can have. The connection we made is unique and special and I’m a better person when I’m with her. I’m forever grateful to this place for making that possible. So while her husband can’t bear the thought of her being with anyone else, mine is coming around to the idea. The journey I’ve been on with my marriage is a post for another time but he has been truly amazing and in an odd way it’s brought us closer. Lots of communication and trial and error, which has been really hard at times. In the end it all comes down to one simple but crucial point….that he must always feel like he’s my number one priority above anyone else. I neglected him at times and I see that now. He accepts I may have relationships with other women if the opportunity presents itself, as long as he never feels like second best. Sounds simple enough right?? I thought so until I fell in love with a woman. It’s…..intense! I have so much to learn. So this is where I am now, a year later. I finally accepted who I am, I’ve dipped my toes in a world I was afraid of for a long time and found I’m quite at home here. I just need to figure out what I want, and I'm working a little harder on my marriage because he really is an incredible man. Right now this is just a big thank you to the people who set up this wonderful site and allowed a highly supressed bisexual to express herself in ways she never thought possible. I hope it helps others too.
  29. 12 points
    I'm married to a man, and I've been with women for 7 years now. I think I joined this site around 7 years ago also. I used to stress and obsess over finding a label for myself, and now I realize I don't need one, or want one. I used to think I wanted a woman as a FWB, and as time went on realized feelings usually got involved for me. I guess what I'm saying is, you may think one thing, until a situation happens, and you might end up surprising even yourself. I've learned so much about myself in these last 7 years! I've eaten my words many times, and I've grown tremendously from my experiences.
  30. 12 points
    If you feel like you may not want to be married to your husband anymore, you'll need to work out whether that's because of the failure of your relationship with him as a person, or because of your sexuality. Of course, it could be both, but it's important to analyse the situation, to understand why you feel the way you do, before you make any major decisions. Obviously, your husband's extremely negative reaction to your first experience with a woman, and his attempt to control and possess you by prohibiting you from seeing her again, and by unilaterally declaring that your open marriage agreement is over, will only cause you to resent him in a major way, and ultimately will feed into the feeling that you might want to end the marriage, so you really need to be honest with him about the impact it's having on you. Needless to say, being with a woman for the first time can be an extremely intense experience, and trigger a deluge of emotions that can overwhelm you, so you need to get some perspective on that as well, so that it doesn't cause you to make any irrational decisions. .
  31. 12 points
    So after meeting my amazing other half right here on Shys 3 and a half years ago, this happened on Monday. She became my wife <3 xxx
  32. 12 points
    I was married about 4 years and we went to a martini bar with a friend of ours. Both my husband and our friend Mike kept saying our cocktail waitress was hitting on me. Whatever...boys and their imaginations! So I got up to go to the bathroom and she walked in shortly after. Coincidence I was sure of it, washed my hands and went back to our table. A couple more martinis and another trip back to the bathroom but this time she stopped me short of walking in and made small talk, told me she liked my outfit and then followed me in. When I came out of the stall she was standing by the door. There was another woman in the bathroom with us and she washed her hands and left. Okay, it was obvious at this point. I washed my hands and as I was walking out, pretty nervous at this point, she stopped me, kissed me and then handed me her number. Needless to say I drank a few more before we left... i really didn't know what to think and it was a little over a month before I had the courage to call her. She was a lesbian and had no problem easing me into a whole new world with her. She never pushed me and she said I could set the pace....like I knew what in the hell my pace was! Sometimes I was completely scared and confused by the whole thing and other days, when I didn't over think it, it was amazing. I will say initially I had a harder time giving than receiving but I got over that pretty quickly when I realized she was not "judging my performance".
  33. 12 points
    Mmm... Imo, breasts are one of the things that make life worth living...
  34. 11 points
    I've never actually been with a girl, but it's almost all I can think about! I have so many fantasies of public hook ups, oral sex, and the such. Is this only me? I need somebody to teach me/help me learn, or even just to talk to!
  35. 11 points
    I would love to open up to my husband about my bisexuality. He would be thrilled and would immediately start pressing me for a threesome. Here's the thing...I don't want a threesome. I want the opportunity to explore my sexuality with a woman without a penis getting in the way ;). I'm worried my husband will see this as a rejection. But I don't want to be with a woman behind his back either. Sigh...
  36. 11 points
    Hi, lovely ladies! It's been awhile since I've posted here. For a couple of years, I was head-over-heels for a close friend. She and I had some sexual encounters, but she hurt me deeply because she would push me away. My feelings seemed like they would never end. It took forever and I can't even pinpoint what caused it, but... I'm over her!! Yay! Over the last few months, I've noticed my interest in what she is up to has dwindled. I don't check my phone to see if she's texted me; I don't care if I hear from her; I don't sit on the edge-of-my-seat waiting for her to invite me to hang out. I just don't care. The burn is gone for me! The lovely thing is that life circumstances have meant that we don't see each other much, anymore. I suspect that's been a huge part of it. Also, her flaws became clearer and clearer to me. And they played a part in turning me off to her, too. So, now I am kind of bored!!! What's a girl with a desire for a fun, sexual relationship with another girl to do? Hubby would be ok with me having a sexual relationship with another woman. Nobody interests me, right now. I'm waiting for another crush to strike me, because that's how it started with her. Crushes are delicious and fun. As for her, it wouldn't surprise me if she tried to re-initiate sex at some point. That's just how she is. She loves the chase. It shocks me to even type these words, but if she tried to re-initiate, I would turn her down. I cannot wait to find another woman I have that connection with. She's out there somewhere.
  37. 11 points
    Before I knew what had actually happened, I found myself in my car on the way to her house. I think part of me was still shocked, while the rest of me was charged with electricity and anticipation. If you had told me three weeks ago, when we first started to become friends, that we'd end up here, I would never have believed you. But here is exactly where we are. Things had happened pretty quickly, and had taken some seriously unexpected turns pretty quickly. That having been said, I was pulling into her driveway, after almost a week of some pretty heavy text flirting, and my heart was racing. There was no denying it, I was here for sex and she knew it. She wanted it too. We had flirted, we had pretended we were just joking, then we had gotten a little more serious about it. As I walked upstairs to her room, liquor in hand, I panicked a little. I had anticipated this for a long time. I'd never been with a woman, never even touched one in a non professional or friendly way. But I was prepared to touch her, to lick her, to rub her all over. We were both very nervous, taking a couple small shots and smoking a joint and a bowl, talking and nervously laughing with one another, talking about my husband and her ex boyfriend. Every so often one of us would get brave and graze our foot against the other, or rub the other leg, but we were both too nervous to actually make any big moves. Finally she asked me, "Should I turn off the light?", to which I replied "yes please", and she leaned over to shut it off. By the time she was back, my arms were open and lips were ready. We began kissing, and rubbing. I had imagined being with a woman so many times, I had had dreams about what it would be like. This blew me out of the water. Her lips were soft on mine, and she smelled so fresh and feminine. She bit and tugged on my bottom lip in the sexiest way while we were kissing, before moving onto my earlobes, then my neck. As she pushed me a little, onto my back, and pulled herself up she laid her entire body along mine, I could feel her breasts on me as she kissed and sucked on my neck. While she was doing that with her mouth, her hands trailed downwards, feelings my breasts, gently pinching my nipples, rubbing her fingers lightly on my hips, then moving her hand to between my thighs. As she began touching me, as her fingers danced around finding their way, she breathed heavily in my ear as she sucked on my ear lobe, then worked her mouth downwards as well. Everywhere her hands had touched me, her lips followed. Soon her face was between my legs and she was eating my pussy. She licked all over my pussy, and my clit, she sucked in all the right places, licked me somehow rough and gently at the same time. As she did that she worked her fingers inside me with what was clearly an experienced touch. I was in ecstasy. I could feel my body begin to shake as everything I had dreamed of for so long came true. Everything about her was amazing. I laid there and let her eat my pussy, finger me, and rub on me for more than a few minutes, enjoying and relishing the moments as they passed. While it wasn't explosive or earth shattering, I came pretty quickly. After more than a few minutes, she lifted herself up and brought her weight down on top of me and began to grind herself on my hip. Soon she flipped over onto her back and pulled me into a position to be sitting on her face. She ate my pussy again and it felt so amazing, for a minute I lost control and found myself grinding on her face. Maybe it was for a few minutes. Maybe it was for hours. After cumming again, I climbed down and began sucking, licking, and kissing on her ears, her shoulders, her breasts and beautiful nipples . I sucked and pinched on her nipples as I moved my hands down further, finding my way to her pussy and clit. I worked my fingers as I touched her in a way I'd never touched a woman before, while kissing on her breasts. She came, she came twice actually. Squirted all over my hand each time. As a new sensation and something I hadn't expected, I felt proud and turned on that I had been able to please her that much, I enjoyed watching her breath heavily as I kissed her lightly and climbed on top, straddling her. I put one leg outside one of hers, the other in between hers. I placed my pussy just right against hers, then grabbed hold of her hips and began to gently rub my pussy on hers. I spent a few minutes moving slowly, adjusting a little bit at a time, until I heard her moaning get loader. Once I thought I had found the best place for both of us, I grabbed hold of her hips and ground harder. She and I both ground against one another, moaning. As our energy started to wear down, our grinding slowed down, then stopped and I slid off of her and laid down next to her instead. We laid there and caught our breath, then chatted a little, I don't remember now but we may have smoked another joint. I knew I couldn't stay much longer. While my husband knew where I was, with who, and what was happening, I still wanted to hurry home to him. I wanted to make sure he felt secure with what was going on, so that I could enjoy her again. Because after that night, I had a feeling that I would be enjoying her again, and soon.
  38. 11 points
    Absolutely love having sex with clothes on. I find all that rummaging around such a turn on, it works me up like crazy. Especially love when a girl leaves her jeans on & you need to unzip them & part her panties to one side......soooo hot!
  39. 11 points
    Casual sex with likeminded women can be fun and even fulfilling to a certain extent...BUT in my experience, intense sexual chemistry with a woman, which leads to a copious amount of wild, mind-blowing sex - the kind of sex that I would describe as 'spiritual' in nature - tends to lead to falling in love... If the chemistry is there, things don't stay casual for long...and that escalation into the great beyond is one of the glorious things that makes my life worth living...
  40. 11 points
    Sex anyway any time, with or without clothes
  41. 11 points
    Morning sex with a woman presents a delicious dilemma... Women can go forever, so it proves to be virtually impossible to get out of bed...resulting in being very, very late for work...ha, ha, ha...
  42. 11 points
    I wanna fuck myself to thoughts of you. I’m tired, and tipsy, and it seems like it makes thinking of you all that too easy. Thinking of your soft skin and sweet smell; your eyes, your hips, your lips. I wish I could fuck myself to thoughts of you. Not feel guilty that I only had you once and shouldn’t want more. Not feel bad about your fiancé not knowing. I can’t fuck myself to thoughts of you. I want you so much it itches at my flesh, but as soon as my fingers graze my body, I freeze. We’re friends; or at least that’s what we are trying to be. I shouldn’t... We’re a firework that’s been canceled, we’re exhaustion and satisfaction waiting to happen; we’re what’s pretty about war: When it doesn’t happen. I want you. Can’t have you. And, as it turns out, can’t even get myself off to thoughts of you. You’re too close. Too far. Do you ever think of me, wherever you are?
  43. 11 points
    Know how you feel. Some days I think, oh well, never going to happen, get over it. Other days, I've thought about it all day long. Doesn't seem to be an answer. Don't want to destroy my marriage, but deeply curious.
  44. 11 points
    I have been meaning to write a new blog for a while and update things a bit haha My life has changed in so many ways since I first found this site and most of it for the better. The most obvious reason being I found a girl and fell in love. I suppose I should start at the beginning. I am from a very small rural community that is conservative to the core. Not settling down and having babies is just not how things are done here. Struggling with feeling attractions to girls wasn't the norm. See I was rejected for years. Never got asked out. Never got hit on. Finally dated a few guys after high school and it wasn't much. It was then I met my first gf. I was so starved for affection and attention that it didn't matter what hell she put me through because it was better than the alternative. This went on for a couple years until something terrible happened to me (I do not wish to add details). It cost me my job/career, what social circle I had and nearly took my sanity. I was immediately put on antidepressants and a mild sedative. With what I'd experienced the doctors thought it best to protect me from myself that way. About 6 months later I made the choice to stop it. I was shell of myself and I hated it. For me feeling nothing at all was worse than feeling bad. Throughout this time my gf stayed with me but her behavior didn't change. It was only at that point I realized that it was a toxic relationship. That I was only hurting myself by holding onto someone like her. Someone who wanted to use me for money and stability but couldn't be bothered to be faithful or even say a kind word most days. So I ended it. After that I started to pull my life back together. A close friend of mine started to show a romantic interest. I knew she was bi and she knew about me. She listened and supported me. She helped me through difficult times and even dropped the L word. Turns out she only wanted me for my body. This all left me with a bad taste for relationships. At that point I wanted to be alone. I found a job and moved nearly 800 miles away. I worked hard and played harder. I did things just for myself. I went on a vacation for the first time in my life. I went skydiving and zip lining. I ran obstacle races and went dancing til the clubs shut down. And I did it all without a relationship. I found a sense of peace. I was starting to feel comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life. Then there was the issue of my sexuality. Only my one brother (also bi as it turns out) knew about me. I was in a position where I could maybe explore my feelings and be a happier more open person. That's when I found shy's. Being able to read these forums and discuss topics that relate to so many things in my life was fantastic. It made me feel like I wasn't alone in how I dealt with my feelings. Then I met Rocky... I was in the chatroom. No different than any other time. Except this night she was there. She was witty and funny and a riot to talk to. I decided to take a peek at her profile and be her friend. I thought she was an absolutely gorgeous and wonderful woman. A delightful soul that I very much enjoyed being around and chatting with. One day she put up a post. She said she felt useless and miserable. I reached out in a pm. I'd stood in those shoes before and I knew it's a dreadful place to be. So we began to talk and we've never stopped. My reaching out blossomed into something incredible. I'd been single for years at this point and I wasn't looking for it but I found love. My dad's health had taken a turn and work was starting to dry up so I moved back home. That was almost 3 and a half years ago now. Since then my relationship with Rocky has grown. She has met most of my family and we have become engaged. To my family we were "friends" but It was during this past Christmas holiday while she was here that my mom decided to clear the air so to speak. She flat out asked if Rocky's family knew we were in an intimate relationship. It was an awkward discussion to say the least but now it's all out there. Most of my family know and are just fine with it. My one brother and dad are homophobic. At this point my my brother knows and had a meltdown when my mom accepted me without batting an eye. My dad does not nor do most friends and other family members. Being in such a small town makes it difficult but I prefer my private life to remain just that. Private. To end this I would like to thank whoever reads all this to get to this point. I know it is long winded. Throughout my journey I have had this safe space to express myself. A place where I don't have to hide who I am and who I love. This site is an amazing source of support and I truely hope that those who are looking for it can find it here as I have. T
  45. 11 points
    I think it's mega hot to kiss after someone's been going down on me, or vice versa. If she's made me cum hard, I want to kiss her, regardless of my flavor on her. I want to attack her after she makes me cum!!
  46. 10 points
    I did have a relationship with another woman while I was married. So here's my perspective. I would be willing to pursue a relationship with a married woman. She's an adult, and competent to decide for herself if this is something she wants. and is willing to engage in. If she wants to be with me, and the attraction is mutual, then as far I'm concerned I'm OK with it if she is. That having been said, a couple of cautions apply. First, you have a great responsibility to not blow up her life. That means respecting her privacy and discretion absolutely. She may be taking some risk to be with me, so be aware of that always. Second, you have to understand and accept that however much you come to care for this woman and however much you enjoy being with her, you can never be first in her life. The odds are there's no HEA in your future, so you have to accept an HFN. (Happy Ever After/Happy For Now. The terms come from the romance novel genre.) If you're not OK with this, then don't start down this road. Finally, you both have to be clear on where this is leading. Maybe this is just you're lovers while you can be, and offer each other emotional support, warmth, smoking hot sex, or whatever. But you have no expectation that she's going to leave her family for you, and neither does she, really. If you both decide that she should leave him for you, then maybe that happens, but neither of you should expect that as a realistic outcome. Go into it knowing that it's temporary, and you have to be on the same page about this.
  47. 10 points
    There is a woman that I have loved nearly all my life. She was my best friend. We grew up together, but in time we grew apart. She was always so perfect. Gorgeous, smart, funny, athletic, artistic, nearly perfect. Her biggest flaw has always been her self-doubt. I remember going bathing suit shopping with her. Everyone looked incredible on her, and yet in her eyes her thighs were too big, her body not quite ideal. I loved her fiercely, I would have done anything for her. As we grew and matured, I felt her reluctance to be around me. She seemed to struggle with my budding sexuality. I dated plenty of boys, she never did. She never tried. Every time a boy worked up the courage to ask her out, she was always shocked that someone would be interested in her that way. She was never interested in them. I grew up, and I held on. I always called her first, I always made our plans. I always pushed her to step out of her shell, to get out into the world. I think she hated that, but she always answered, she always showed up. When I got married, she signed my marriage certificate as a witness. When I had my first baby she took a bus for seventeen hours so she could be one of the first to hold them. She was my best friend, and yet, I felt I didn't really know her. There was this part of her that she kept locked up, kept to herself. She hid herself from me, and that broke my heart. I remember talking to her about our childhood and confessing that I had always looked up at her, was always jealous of her. Her perfect family. Her gorgeous body. Her skills and talents. She was shocked. She told me that she has always been jealous of me. My charisma, my ability to easily make friends, my strength in being myself. I learned a big lesson that day, and finally look her off her pedestal. I came out as bi. Not to everyone, just to myself and my husband. I wrote a blog post about it on my website, and found some support from other queer people. I found myself thinking about her. Truth be told, I have long since suspected she was gay. At 25 she has never gone on a date with a guy, nor has she ever (to my knowledge) had a crush on one. Growing up we watched Sailor Moon together, and her favourite character was the tall blonde lesbian. My friend is tall and blonde. When I asked her if she was gay, or at least maybe a little bit less than 100% straight, she denied it. I doubted her. She has always struggled with internalized homophobia. I've been trying to get her to stop saying things like "That's gay" for years, and yet she won't. She's progressive in every other way, and yet... I realize now that I have long since been in love with her. I had a dream a few months ago involving making love with her, and that dream pushed me to go out and find this website. I needed to take the first step in living a life as a bi woman. I had come out, but I wasn't living the life I wanted. I wish I didn't still want her. I wish I didn't think about how close we used to be, or how perfect we would be together. It's strange, but my husband is so similar to her. Beyond his body, they are so similar. I often wonder what could have been. I wonder if she distanced herself from me because she struggled to see me date men. I wonder if she loved me as deeply and as fiercely as I love her. We haven't spoken in many months. I was fed up with her lack of effort. I told her I needed a real friend, someone who would show up, make the call, respond to my emails. She never responded. I miss her so much. She still lives at home, with her conservative parents who I doubt would be supportive of a lesbian daughter. She was taught that her role is to get married and raise children. Travel, adventure, gay clubs, these things are off limits for her. She is too afraid to venture into the world. She is too afraid to be her true self, and I'm left wondering what her true self looks like. She used to be so fun, so carefree and wild. Somewhere along the way she learned that she needed to tone it down, to slouch, to speak softly, to avoid doing anything that would draw attention to herself. I miss her so much, but I'm afraid to open up that old wound. Maybe I just need to learn to get over her. Maybe she isn't gay. Maybe she will never admit to being gay. Maybe she is already on Shybi, or sites like it, exploring her identity in a safe way. Where are you? Do you miss me? I wish I would stop dreaming of her. I wish I could just move on. I wish I had never fallen in love with my (possibly straight) best friend.
  48. 10 points
    If I don't phone, text or email you, please know you're still in my mind & heart. Which is why I can't contact you. It would hurt too much. It might lessen in time, but, I don't know if it will ever completely go away. If you reach out to me (which I hope that you will), I may not answer or get back with you. Believe me, I want to, more than anything. I'm keeping all of the messages. Even if they seem to be deleted, I saved them elsewhere. Right now, I don't have my phone on much & I'm not checking my email. The phone would probably be the best place,though, when you want to get a hold of me.
  49. 10 points
    I've learned my lesson. Many times over. Unless someone outright tells me they are interested I am not reading any flirting into any of that.
  50. 10 points
    I agree with all this here. Going on my personal experience I was surprised how involved I was in the act itself, and also how connected I felt. With my previous relationship with a man I never felt like I was there half the time. Maybe I zoned out, maybe I just didn't like it, but I always felt distant like I was waiting for it to be over because I got nothing out of it. For the first time all my attention was on her, I was wrapped up in the moment. I felt like it was a very mutual experience. Of course I was inexperienced and as Allie said it's a learning curve at first but I was surpised how quickly I figured it all out. I was actually getting something amazing from sex and that shot my libido up tenfold. I'd avoid sex previously, now I was craving it because I finally understood why people wanted it so much. I do believe it was partly because she seemed to know exactly how to make me feel amazing and partly because she was a woman, which definitely turned me on more. The connection is something I've never experienced before with anyone else. I also enjoyed the newness of soft skin against mine, no hair or stubble scratching me. That was incredible. Even her smell was intoxicating which is also something id never experienced with men. It all added up to an incredible experience. I feel like I'm constantly learning new things and new ways to make it better too, it's not the same old routine. I was definitely scared of being naked in front of a woman. I felt maybe I'd be more judged or they wouldn't like how I looked. But i was made to feel more comfortable naked than i ever was my whole life. I was also worried about whether I'd like oral, it was one of those things I always thought about over the years. That even though I was attracted to women would I be able to go through with that. My lack of confidence in that made me feel like maybe it was just curiosity and sex would never happen because kissing was the only thing I felt comfortable with. Safe to say that when I met her that all changed, I was the one making all the moves. Which was a huge surprise to me. Anyway didn't mean for this to be so long, but I've had a mostly positive experience with sex with a woman. I've learnt to be more giving in the act as well as be more involved. Which has lead to incredible sex. There's been a few hiccups along the road because I was so new to it but it didnt take long to fix them. Loving the topic Shei