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  1. 16 points
    Shybi is a truly unique space. When I rocked up here. I’d had a fair bit of experience in the obvious areas and the meaningful ones too. But I wasn’t comfortable. At first I thought this had nothing to do with my sexuality. I assumed Shybi was a meet up board by the way. Didn’t read the about or the rules. I obviously realized in a few seconds! I remember think oh well, nevermind. I was starving that day and overtired and my casual date had cancelled, but I stayed and read a few topics and thought - hey, I can reply to that! My life was a bit of a mess but I hadn’t connected that my sexual being and even my ability to love a person could exist fully, while still feeling pain, stress and shame about living an almost split life as a result. I’d actually shut down communicating with the people who mattered, just enough to keep us going along - it’s possible to be well matched with more than one person, only to realize that all of you need to work on yourselves as individuals and that compromise in a relationship can become self-sabotage without you even realizing. So I stuck around went through some harder times - AKA the cryptic status updates, for any of the older members who remember! Somehow supporting and interacting with you all made me feel useful. Despite having quite a lot in my life at the time, I didn’t feel that. Over time, your thoughts, feelings and experiences started to have this affect on me. As some of you were questioning yourselves and sharing your journeys, I began to look at myself and saw that I did have insecurities surrounding my sexuality, I responded and supported in the way that was and still is most authentic to me and I was surprised by how natural that felt. By being here, I was able to reconnect with myself and remember that my sexuality is part of me, it’s not an add-on that I need to sideline or usher away, I’m not the shout it from the rooftops kinda woman, but I am excited by the prospect of living, loving and experiencing again. The diversity here has enabled me to understand women better. Sounds silly, but since joining Shybi I understand and empathize more - I often don’t agree but I think without even realizing it, I was repressing parts of myself. Although I’ve always struggled to relate to women from a young age, the opposite of what many of you say, and that’s improved too. I’ve been on here 4 years? So I’ve had time to slowly work things out. Having said that, all of my close girlfriends are similar in nature and we do pretty much cover the spectrum and I’m lucky to have that, but I hadn’t talked to them about anything personal/relationships in years. Pretty ironic, you’ve gay and bisexual friends and it never comes up? Well it did and I was once pretty open, but I spent about half a decade, essentially locked in internalized homophobia. I didn’t see it setting in and so it’s no big deal they stop asking and you talk about other things. For me it came from a place of now your female, non-white, from a low background and it doesn’t matter that you’re almost totally fine, you’re still gonna be registered disabled and you won’t get picked first, second or third - so you can’t be bisexual as well, sorry. If you want to succeed while hitting every point of intersectionality, something’s gotta give. I’d constructed a fragile sense of self-worth from the only part I had control over. But then one day last year I woke up in hospital, half a decade had passed and while I’d survived, I hadn’t live. I’d been relentless in my pursuit that I failed my way to success, but the rest of my life was empty. I spent the rest of that year not just building a life, but building myself. You can do, go and change as many times as you like - it's gonna happen anyway might as well get on board! Now I've got choices, I'm well, I'm content and who know what's out there? Surely, in the long-term, in order to become the best version of yourself, you’ve got to accept the whole package and work it out as you go along. It also happens my package includes an obsession with building things, vision and how to make things better. Shybi has made me better, you've all made better so I’ve gotta accept that hopefully it'll work out in the end too. I don't want to watch it happen. I would immediately fund the site further, if I thought more of you could see what I see. But that’s ok - Shys is a wonderful place if you give it a chance in any state. @la-femme has changed so many lives, I really hope she lets you give back to the site and everyone comes together. Now feels like a good time for me to leave the island. I’m starting a new chapter offline, so perhaps it's a sign, that I’m ready. With any luck they’ll be a new and improved site for me to check out one day and if not I truly appreciate the time and the space, spent here with all of you.
  2. 9 points
    It's really pointless to keep discussing the options and possibilities of what can be done until things are more solidified with the server and the site. Once things are stable and in la-femme's control, she can then take into account all the suggestions that have been made and decide from there. Thank you la-femme for all the personal sacrifices that you've made over the last 13 years since the site began. I for one am grateful. I agree with you that you should be careful of who you give or share your admin duties with because it's a position that should come with respect for you as the main admin and willingness to see things from a neutral and objective point of view and only use the harsher measures to moderate if it is deemed necessary, such as filtering out men who try to disguise themselves as women and try to join the site. Also being able to deal with other things that may come up between members. I'm sure when everything becomes more stable that you'll be able to make the right decisions as to who you'd want to help you form an admin team. The good thing about you being the main admin is that if someone does do something stupid but it's not obvious to you, others can see that and make you aware of it, then you can take measures to remove them or just take away their ability to have access to those parts of the site. There's a whole different group of women that are on the site now than even 8 years ago and I'm sure there are some out of the new crew that might be willing to at least moderate. I'm looking forward to where the future leads the site and just a side note, there are those of us like myself, who have stayed with the site through everything and didn't give up on you or the site because it's about loyalty and friendship, not just how it can benefit you but how can it help and benefit others that struggle and have questions about their feelings. Here's to a new and exciting future for you and for the site you created. This is your baby and like all babies the site has changed and grown but it will only get better.
  3. 9 points
    The donations are still in Paypal untouched for now until 1and1 get back to me tomorrow. If nothing comes of it, and the site closes all will be refunded. I can't thank everyone enough from the bottom of my heart who donated. Truly.. and I hope things are sorted in the next few days. I'll keep you all posted. I'm not long back from a 12 hour shift so apologies for not being able to clarify sooner. A few other clarifications :- Social media is killing off discussion/debate forums and has been for a while now. End of story.. However... women who find us here do NOT want to appear on social media. I understood that from the start and named the site accordingly... and it's also why Facebook/Twitter and all other social media icons are removed from the forum software. Too many are afraid that they share or out themselves accidentally or someone else does and cannot take that risk. Facebook and other media links and referrals are also needed now to rank highly in the internet stakes. But it's really not an option for this site and probably never will be. The internet has moved on since 2005 when this site started. The ethos of this site cannot since it's about being a safe harbour. Once moved we'll still be with the same hosts we've been with since 2009. Like an old mobile phone contract that hasn't been updated and you end up paying far more than new customers for the same or better services,... personal financial difficulties aside.. that's where Shybi has been for the last few years. On a 'bronze' server for nearly £250 a month, when newer clients were on the platinum for much less. I cannot afford £250 a month at the moment the new server is less than half that. The site may well end up moving again... but at the end of the day my appeal went out because whatever happened I did not want the site to end due to a few months financial difficulties. Better things for me are hopefully just round the corner ( new job fingers crossed )... I couldn't just let the site go down to a few skint months and that's why I reached out. Chat rooms etc... well IPB have closed even their own native and fully integrated chat rooms now. Things like that are another area dying off thanks to social media and messenger services. Other things such as 'clubs within forums' and many other progressive features are afoot in IPBoards now. But there's not point in harking back to wishing things were as they were on the net in 2010 or 2013.. Chat rooms etc can surely be done again, but integration with the database and safety is somewhat more problematic these days given that even the forum software makers have given up on them completely. IF things work out tomorrow with 1and1 the site will be ok for a while. I cannot do much about the site's fortunes in relation to Facebook groups and Twitter chats... but I do know for those that find us here and stay for a while, that this site has been worth every penny I've spent on it since 2005. Thanks once again SO much for the donations. They'll be put to the use they're intended within the next few days or refunded in full. Keep your fingers crossed. LF xxx
  4. 8 points
    I think it’s important to consider what new members think, too, because it takes having new people joining for the site to stay alive. Just as there are active veteran members, there are active new members, and we need to be able to draw new members in. I totally agree that an admin team would be great, hopefully with a mix of strengths. Since we ALL have lives outside this site, I have to imagine it’s a lot for any one person to manage at this point. Like what @wolfbigrl88 said, part of what I love about this site is being able to help others who are struggling. Over the years we’ve seen several members just blossom and come out of bad situations or just realize who they really are and grow to be okay with that and eventually meet the right woman. This is a tight knit community, one that I can’t imagine would be matched anywhere else for this subject matter, and certainly not as welcoming of new members. At this point, @la-femme, what would be helpful from us to keep things going and to take some of the load off your plate?
  5. 8 points
    I'm not really willing to go into my own personal finances right now. I don't think it's appropriate and it's a little bit invasive never mind screenshotting them.. However site costs are as follows Shybi has been hosted by Unitedhosting since 2009. It's on the 'Gold server' package listed below but paying an extra £20 per month for extra GB's of space. https://www.unitedhosting.co.uk/dedicated-hosting/managed-dedicated-servers . So yearly I've been paying roundabout £3000 a year to keep the site going and free for everyone. About £25,500.00 over the last 9 years... wow. That's really weird seeing it written down like that ! £25k... For me it had just become a monthly bill that came out of the account every month like clockwork and I was so used to seeing it in among all the monthly bills. I didn't really think about it even when things for my own finances got tighter.. The ads in the past helped a bit, but haven't really brought anything much in for the last 3 or 4 years. They're so old and outdated now. While I recognise there is a need for more admin people here. Especially as I don't have the time to spend the last few months. It's always been the same old story when it comes to appointing them, like with moderators. The drama ! When someone is put into place when others don't want them there, or would like a chance themselves, or don't think they'll be any good at it. My very first co-admin here went on a massive deletion spree when she fell out with a few members.. she banned them all. I was unaware and this went on for a period of about a year when she disliked anyone or she felt slighted by any member. It was only when I was contacted offsite that it came to my attention. We nearly lost many members who went on later to become moderators here. Naturally, since then I have been very reluctant to invoke similar drama, or to place the site in that sort of deletion happy/suck up to Admin or else type places since then. But I am open to it ( all going well over the next few weeks and the site is safe ) if it can be done with little fuss and with a consensus. There's nothing worse than logging in here to see several messages all really annoyed with the latest possible moderator choice, threatening to cancel accounts if X gets picked etc etc. The future changes are up on the IPB forums to see. The new 4.3 is due out soon. Featuring clubs, paid memberships etc etc . This will be the direction the site is most likely going in.. a sort of mini facebook/twitter/social media platform featuring groups with different interests yet self contained within Shybi itself. I need also to pay IPB subscriptions every year. Lets secure the site firstly. Yes I'm willing to appoint more Admins and yes am open to ways of supporting the site financially. Yes I'm open to changes within IPB forum software constraints. But no, I won't be singing any contracts.
  6. 7 points
    I have been following this thread since it started. As someone who only recently joined the site, I haven't felt knowledgeable enough to comment on the history or practices. However, I thought now was a good time to offer my perspective. I am not going to claim experience with website management or the financial workings required. I came to this site because it offered me a supportive like-minded community. The fact that it was free to join was an added bonus to me. I like that it was more private than social media since at the time I was only out to a few friends. For me, paying a small monthly fee would be justified to keep the site running if it means the privacy that many have sought would remain in tact. I do think that transparency should be considered if a fee is imposed. I also agree with others with the suggestion of a committee approach to site management. It would ease the burden on a single person and perhaps make a good site great. I personally don't feel I could vote for the committee since I don't have the established history. Not sure my thoughts will change anything but there it is.
  7. 7 points
    UPDATE : - I "think" we're going to be ok. I called yesterday again and after a bit of clarification and finding of old account/contract numbers the person I was speaking to said they would be happy to reopen the account so I can gain access as long as the payment was made. He did take my paypal details over the phone... but I got this email today asking me to once again phone and provide the details needed which I will shortly do. So hopefully and with much fingers crossed. Things will be sorted properly with new cloud hosting and access to the domain name once again. I do have to ask for a bit of leeway in when I can get back in here and update as at the moment I am working for an agency and am often out on 12 hours shifts at a few hours notice. So I can't always be on hand to instantly update etc. I do apologise for this. I am currently awaiting a start date for a new permanent job in the NHS which will be much better suited to my own family life and worklife/balance. Anything NHS however as regards paperwork.. those from the UK will know, seems to take forever. So am in a real limbo land at the moment. It's one of the reasons I didn't want to let the site die. I AM in a horribly insecure place right now re finances but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'll address other points made on this thread shortly, but wanted to let you all know where things stand as regards immediate financing.
  8. 6 points
    I'm going to climb up on my high horse and say things some are unlikely to want to hear. None of the following should be taken personally. This is not a personal attack on either @la-femme or the Mods and should not be taken as such. It comes from my experience and observation. To give this some context, I have both Administered and Moderated forums for 20+ years. I know how they work and have experienced how they fail. - Thanks to Facebook, many forums are dead or dying. Shybi is fortunate in the era of social media to still be relevant and attract sufficient traffic to remain viable. It has that special "something" despite the current poor layout of the site and yes, the quality and value of discussion has fallen significantly in recent times (which likely explains the loss of many longer term members), yet the site continues to attract new members. If Shybi fails, it will be from the inside out: Ongoing funding is clearly an issue to which there are a number of possible solutions. An issue that I'm not going to attempt to address here - sorry. Day to day operation of the site is what I would like to address and there are a couple of appropriate aphorisms: A forum is not a democracy. It is the personal universe of the site owner... and Admin is Queen Bitch of the Universe! She sets the laws which all of us have to abide by. A successful forum requires leadership from an Administrator who is present, active and has vision for the future direction of the site. Administration is not a straightforward task. The back-end operation of the forum is quite technical and it is very easy to do a lot of damage, intentionally or not. The Administrator who is usually the site owner, has a personal idea of what the site should be and relinquishing a degree of control requires an extreme level of trust in the person chosen. @la-femme has experience of giving Admin status to the wrong person and is rightly wary of appointing anyone else. Moderation is a thankless task with no real job description, taken on by volunteers. But and it is a big but, if you do step up you must be willing to be present, do the job impartially and to the best of your ability. If you don't have the time and can not be present or impartial, don't volunteer. If you are currently a Mod and don't have the time or can not be present or impartial, step down graciously. Admin must also be willing to dismiss ineffective or disruptive Mods. There will always be disagreements among any group of people and the worst thing for the membership is to see infighting among the Mods. There have been times when it has been all too obvious that all is not well in the Moderation team. Keeping the number of Moderators to the smallest workable number is perhaps the best way to keep disagreements to a minimum. Moderating the Moderators is one of the Administrator's most important functions! That's all. Climbing down off my horse now...
  9. 6 points
    We watched the Olympic Mixed Doubles Curling tonight and I've a new celebrity crush - Anastasia Bryzgalov from Russia. She and her partner won the Bronze medal.
  10. 5 points
    I've been reading along with the posts but haven't really said anything, but I am listening to all the suggestions and seeing everyone pull together. That's the community I signed up for all those years ago. I saw what a great bunch of ladies shybi attracted and how they grouped together to support each other as well as the site. I hope we can use that spirit and drive to save this special site. It does need work, and I'm willing to help where I can. Part of the reason I left was due to personal issues but at the same time I saw the site become something I didn't recognise anymore. I am a moderator and so I heard of everyone's worries and concerns and yet felt helpless to do anything about it. I felt my presence here wasn't needed because I couldn't protect the ladies here desperately seeking somewhere safe and protected to be open about something very sensitive and private. I am grateful to La Femme for everything she has done over the years to keep this place afloat. I'm grateful for her site for pulling me from a very dark place that I never thought I'd escape from. I'm grateful for this place for giving me something I love and cherish the most in my life. This place deserves my time and my help if it goes in the right direction. I don't want any kind of recognition but I donated to help keep the site alive, despite my absence I believe in this place and would be sad to see anything happen to it. It has such great potential to be even better than it is or ever was. I volunteer any time or resources I can offer in order to make this happen. I also agree that @BiTriMama is an excellent candidate for more responsibility if that's something she wants. Although one of our newest mods who I've only just started to talk to I'm fully confident in her abilities and trust her to be fair and impartial. Thanks to her this place still has a mod around. I'll be lurking in the shadows anyway and when whatever has to be done starts to happen I'm willing to be more on board if that's what the site needs.
  11. 5 points
    16. Papercut In your dream, you nibble at her neck once and she hums - her throat faintly vibrating under your lips - and you smile. There’s this sweet smell you take the time to taste with a faint lick, this scent that has followed her around and twisted your thoughts for so many years. You find it gliding over her warm skin and you can’t help but smile some more. It’s so soft, the scent of her, so subtle and so faint, it could never be heart-wrenching like some other smells are, yet it has always had your heart stutter in such a strong way whenever you could catch it. Rare and powerful; mesmerizing. You nip at her neck a little higher, just below her ear, slow and lingering; breathing-in deep. That scent, you could recognize it anywhere. It smells a little like yours, a little like some sort a distant dream that you couldn’t hold on to. And even as she’s right there, clenching at your hips with every bite and every stroke you lay upon the side of her neck, Ice still smells like she’s too far away. You drag your nose across her jaw and find her lips, kissing her while you press your brow to hers, and your hand glides to the back of her head, fingers getting lost in silky strands. As your lips part to catch her tongue, you breathe in deep once more and pull her closer, pressing your body to hers, and you don’t want to acknowledge it but it’s there, this papercut upon your heart. The full weight of what you’re doing hits you straight to the chest – once the 12 Hours are up, so will you be. So you kiss her with the passion of thirst, knowing you might never get the chance to kiss her again, and the papercut stretches, faintly at first, until your whole chest is burning. You keep your brow against hers, pull away and lick your lips, breathing shallow and cheeks burning. She catches your bottom lip between her teeth and pulls at it, and it’s enough to have you stumble into another heated kiss. There’s a little blood machine going haywire within your ribcage, pumping like crazy. It expends, the papercut, with every powerful beat of your heart, turns into a distant heartbreak, and it sorta hurts. For the first time since you stepped into this room, as you rock your hips without meaning to and moan against her lips - as arousal resumes its unstoppable swell and as your heart starts to beat out of your chest - it occurs to you. You might not be all that okay once this is over.
  12. 5 points
  13. 5 points
    I have a pretty awesome girl Thank you princess @tbare13 xx
  14. 5 points
    A moving document of an incredible journey. Thanks for opening up about what the site has meant to you in good times and bad. Sexuality is an important part of our identity, but it's a particularly difficult one to incorporate in a healthy way. Wishing you the very best in the next chapter of your life.
  15. 4 points
    I am not interested in another's devaluation of me based on their own insecurities. I know my imperfections more clearly than anyone could ever,but I also know I must love myself despite them. While working to become a better version of me.
  16. 4 points
    I'm sorry to see you go! You've been a staple around here for a long time, and we've had some good conversations between us. Thanks for lending an ear when I've needed it. You've grown and matured so much over the years I've seen you here, and it's been beautiful to watch. I hope your path moving forward is a positive one!
  17. 4 points
  18. 4 points
    It has been an enchanting experience for me ‘meeting’ you online. From you I have learned that age is no barrier when it comes to friendship and support. As a damaged person myself who lets very few people in I have even felt the long forgotten warm glow of true friendship. Your ability to empathise and offer possible solutions and support always shine through and if you take these qualities with you on your journey you will go far. I hope you do check in again in the future, in the meantime rest up, get well and find meaningful happiness in your own life. xxxxxx
  19. 4 points
    I do know, I've always known the path to a degree I just play it down - it has it's comforts and pitfalls. Thanks for your contribution and being a sweetheart @ChemFem for you, mainly it's been years since I fell asleep to music, but if you ever want to it's a good album. I'm posting this one for @myladylove cos it's the truth, you will all survive, rise and grow and I hope this site stays around to help you all through. But mainly cos it'll get stuck in someones head
  20. 4 points
    I am not up for this challenge, plus don't think @la-femme would pick me anyway. I can't see whatever happens, happen moment-to-moment here so I'm just posting a blog up on what this space and all of you have allowed for me, but now feels like time for me to jump off the island. My pick if there is a vote @BiTriMama has always been a good contributor and I beIieve the newest mod addition, so that should go in her favor. Personally I've always found her to be kind, fair and honest. If the only reason the current admin hasn't appointed others is because they're bitchy, bratty, and risky, then I'm pretty sure she's a safe bet.
  21. 4 points
    My heads spinning and my hearts not sure how to feel at the prospect of no more shys. After 10 years this year as a member this site has been such a massive part in shaping the life I now have. Every time I think of it closing another thing Im grateful to shys for pops up in my head. I came to accept that I'm bisexual because the friends I made here accepted me. I met past girlfriends here and had a safe place to talk about having a husband and a girlfriend at the time in my life I chose poly rather than monogamy. I had the most fun times at shys meet ups all over Scotland and England with some of the most fun people Ive ever met! Memories Ill always treasure. I had intense connections with people from all over the world that id never have encountered in my every day life. I made friends ill have forever here. Without shybi id never have met my wife, never have bought this home, never have got our pets, never have made this incredibly happy little life we've build together! Shys was my home and although I rarely post here anymore I still like being able to come home and read about the journeys others are having with shys. My sentimental self doesn't want this site to go.
  22. 3 points
    17. Take Charge; I Can’t Breathe In your dream, you don’t realize it right away, how she sets a beat, how her body moves like waves, wanting and undulating in such a subtle way. The hands she has at your hips press into you and move to your back, your shoulder blades, only to drift back down and struggle to cup your ass. She pulls you closer into her, a little harder, and you think you hear some sort of soft grunt that has your heart stutter. It happens quickly, then, too quick for you to notice; one second you’re on her lap, the other your back is against the mattress and she’s towering over you. She flipped you over and you’re left dizzy and wanting, breathless and aroused. She only seems surprised for a single second before it’s her turn to slot her thighs on each side of your hips and slink back down, tilting your chin up with the angle of her mouth, one hand moving next to your head and the other landing on your bare hip. She seems impatient in the way she devours your mouth and grabs at your side – pulling a sigh from your lungs, and it makes your head spin enough that you forget all about the impeding heartbreak. There’s nothing you can do to stop your hands from finding her waist and pulling her closer to you. The cloth under your fingertips makes you groan; she’s still so very overdressed while you lie under her in just your underwear. You pull at her clothes like it could change anything, and bite at her lip, only to have her glide away and lower, printing feverish kisses to the column of your throat. You find her waist again and, in one desperate attempt to get her closer to you, your hands glide to her hips and you pull her down. It’s instant and like a well-known trick, the way her pelvis rocks in one smooth arc and right into you in one powerful motion, hips rocking just once as she presses her core against you and breathes a faint, girly moan. Her free hand travels across the flat plane of your stomach – you only notice it when she nips at your collarbone hard enough to pull a full-blown whine from your lips and you feel the need to focus on something other than her mouth unraveling you. The pull fueling her fingers become hesitant as she starts to move upward, fingertips gliding over each of your ribs until they bump against your bra. Her lips still at the crook of your neck and you smile in a shiver. “You should have taken that off”, you tease, and, before she replies, the hands you had at her waist pull and twist, push and turn, until she’s the one with her back to the bed and you’re straddling her.
  23. 3 points
  24. 3 points
    Additional details.....Hmmmmm That almost belongs under the thread for stories The sounds she makes...grunting, sobbing, whimpering, moaning, panting The expressions....Shock, wonder, pleading, surprise...fear, when she wonders of she can really take this...joy when she discovers that she can Tugging at the ropes, because she wonders if she can get loose, and needs to know that she can't, and straining at the ropes when the intensity overwhelms her. That better?
  25. 3 points
    Hi everyone! I'm Glittergal. It's nice to meet you all. A little about me...I'm 18 but I've known I was bi since I was 15. I'm Kinsey 4, so I'm slightly more attracted to women than men. I lost friends for my sexual orientation when I was in 9th grade, when I was still questioning and decided to cut off a homophobic friend in our friend group. The group fell apart in the most ironic of ways, which I'll talk about in later posts, but I feel like I still have pain and resentment left over from this event. Similarly, I had a month-and-a-half long relationship with a guy I had a crush on last year when I was a junior and he was a senior. I lost my virginity to him and he ultimately ended up using me for sex. I broke up with him after an intense pregnancy scare and quickly realized he was a POS and really low-hanging fruit compared to guys I like this year. It hurt a lot to know I let him use me as a sex object but I've recovered a lot with time. I'll probably get more into that later as well. These events, more than I'd like to admit, have had their effects on me. I think speaking to similar people who may have similar stories would be helpful as I get older and (hopefully) wiser. Other things I will probably talk about here are inner conflicts, some family issues, things with friends of the present and past, my goals and hopes, my fears, and maybe some of my opinions that have also have their profound effects on me. I'm also very, very, very eager to explore my sexuality more, now that I'm legal, but this time in a healthier, safer, and more empowering ways. And this time with other women. I have a lot of fantasies but I'm also very shy lol. I hope the women here can share their wisdom and truths, hear what I have to say, and heal with me I guess. I really appreciate women and I find that I value and yearn for their company at times, in both romantic and sexual ways, and non-romantic and non-sexual ways. This is probably more serious and dramatic than it needs to be...Some more casual things about me are that my favorite color is purple, I'm a huge makeup geek, I love to sing and waste time I don't have listening to music. I have huge celebrity crushes on Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan (Stucky and other gay ships for the win!!), I have alopecia but it's not that bad (yet), and I want to be a medical researcher so I'll be in college for a long time working for that doctorate degree but I also want to be an activist. Do I have anything in common with anyone, or did I scare everyone away with my melodramatic intro lol? <3
  26. 3 points
    When you get to spend the most amazing time with your girl and it ends with a trip to the fire station to be cut freed from hand cuffs! #whenthekeybreaksinthelock Funny as........ Still had the most amazing couple of days with my wonder woman, spoilt rotten, treated like a princess and laughed so much my cheeks hurt! Can't thank you enough baby @Beaulieu1, we ticked off a few things didn't we! What's next on our adventure???
  27. 3 points
    You've already established (to her) that you sometimes go on "dates" with female coworkers, so it won't seem odd if you invite her out for something similar. If she wants to make it a romantic evening, fantastic. If not, you still get fun quality time with a friend.
  28. 3 points
    ^^ Seconded! I've been kicking around on forums (and at times running them) since the late 90s, and "word association" etc topics have always existed as a "post count pump and dump" for people, but when it's the majority of your active content, then it's a bad sign. The next highest traffic topics here seem to me to be the sexual conversations. Whilst I'm not averse to that myself, it could put some people off and it doesn't bode well for serious topics. Perhaps there just isn't the volume of active membership to sustain 'proper' discussions? Everyone has their own interests, and when you don't have enough people, you won't get the numbers needed to generate interesting conversations on a range of different topics as not enough people find it relevant to them. This is something that could be addressed with an appropriate comms and engagement plan - targeted posts on social media, getting a couple of influencers on board, reaching out to LGBT organisations/charities etc etc There are things that can be done, but it won't be a quick and easy fix. I've not been around long, but I'd be gutted if this place was no more.
  29. 3 points
    If I had all the answers, life would be a breeze. New topics, of course. Continuing older topics if they remain relevant. While not wishing to be a total killjoy, less of the entirely frivolous content - the never ending this that and the other topics. Sometimes these topics are all the site appears to consist of and that's not (or at least I hope that's not) what potential and new members are looking for. I know I'm not unique in sometimes wondering why I continue to visit Shybi. I watch and read but do not often post these days, as I see little opportunity to contribute to the conversation.
  30. 3 points
    I usually don't say it but...Straight people and the heterosexual privilege are annoying
  31. 3 points
    It's a balmy 8 C today so I took advantage of the weird respite from winter and went for a brisk 10,000 step walk outside for the first time in weeks.
  32. 3 points
    Sexy, sultry Lana Del Ray...
  33. 3 points
    Although I'm sorry to see you go, it has been a pleasure to get to know you while you've been a member here. I have very few people here that I consider friends and you are one of them. Thank you for all the times you've listened and understood. I'm grateful that you stuck around Also sometimes the odd girl with the disability is the first choice You're an amazing woman and I hope we can always keep in touch. Me and the missus think you're the bees knees so don't forget about us. You know where we'll be. Good luck with the rest of your journey x
  34. 3 points
    Beautifully said @Hungry Best wishes to your future and thank you for all of your contributions to Shy!
  35. 3 points
    Not sure about iPad, but if I go on you tube on my phone and click on the video, there's a little arrow in the top corner to share it. Click the 'copy link' option and then paste it into a comment here and it should embed into the post
  36. 3 points
    Yes, there are a lot of factors to consider, and that will most likely be a problem...those who have the ‘heart’ to lead this site, may not have the technical knowledge to do what needs to be done. I know we’re not there yet, and may not be for a while, but it couldn’t hurt to have a discussion about it now that we know it’s at least a possibility. In the end it doesn’t matter because we don’t get to make those decisions, but it’s still interesting to read other’s opinions. I think that is what this thread has become, a sort of sounding board for members to bounce around ideas and opinions and to share their vision of what the future of Shybi might look like...as well as a place for admin to provide updates and feedback as she sees necessary. However, considering that a lot of members are choosing to opt out of this particular discussion, I’ll take that as my cue to do the same.
  37. 3 points
    I think it would be good to have more than one new addition to the admin team, so that when @la-femme is unable to be here, the responsibility isn’t put on one single person. Also, a collaboration of minds can surely only be a good thing, and perhaps prevent the kind of drama la-femme mentioned above, where one person acts as a sort of dictator. And a few extra mods wouldn’t hurt either. Just my opinion of course. I’m excited for a new shybi experience
  38. 3 points
    All of this minus the ass stuff. Only because I don’t have much experience with. But everything Yes and more YES please.
  39. 3 points
    I don’t need wacky baccy to let the Lesbian beast out, I just need the opportunity and a consenting adult.
  40. 3 points
    While I encourage anyone who has ideas to continuing commenting on this thread, it is just becoming a sea of ideas and we need to focus on the here and now of the site so I took the liberity of reaching out to @la-femme in PM. See below: Hi, The topic has brought up many interesting points, but it's just becoming a sea of ideas, which is not going to help the site unless we focus on the here and now. Please let me know if the money gets taken and you hear from the 1&1/service providers. I think the best thing we can do for now in order to keep the site is continue to fund it. It'll be easier to work towards if you're willing to share the true running costs of the site with us publicly - ideally with verification or screenshots for transparency. It'd also be in your interest however exposing it is to admit how far out of pocket you are, i know this isn't a very nice position but we all care about the site, It's very likely that most if not all of the monthly costs could be covered. I am personally happy to support if things are made clear but there needs to be an open line of communication. In the short-term the members should know what they will get in return from you as Admin. I understand we're all busy and something that has come up on the thread and in the past is the need for others to have admin permissions, not necessarily exactly what you have, but it would take the pressure off you and ensure the running of the site. There are a few mods on the thread that have expressed willingness. Once things are out in the open it'll be easier to build the future of Shybi but without this, you're struggling and there's less certainty and incentive for members to support. You don't have to be alone in this. Thanks. It's the only way I can see the site going for now and I really hope she'll get on board with this. If Admin does respond to this and open up some of you might not agree or see the point but we need to be in majority agreement regarding what changes and maintenance we want to see short-term in return for funding. I suggest a contract signed by @la-femme stating that she will see these things through as Admin. I do feel uncomfortable suggesting it as she has supported us for so long, but truth is she's suffering for us. If we give, we deserve to know what you're getting in return. Otherwise, we might as well let her close the site for her own sake, even though I know she doesn't want that to happen, if we didn't support a few days ago it would of been reality in the short-term and it could well happen again. End note: I'm not doing this because I want to be Admin/anything like that. It's just once you create an audience, you're responsible and you can tell this is something I spend my life doing elsewhere and I'm passionate about it, so that's translated here .Some of you messaged me, like you're upset, angry etc. No I get off on solutions, potential, growth, vision Creating and changing online is a powerful thing and all of us have benefited from this site. That said, this is about as far as I'm willing to go as an individual for now, I don't want to log on to go round in circles. Please let me know what you think off this.
  41. 3 points
    Welcome! You’re right, this is a great place for support. It’s not typical for a new member introduction to go unnoticed, and receive no response, sorry about that, but as you’ve noticed, we have some site issues at the moment that’s taken the majority of attention. Hopefully all will be back to normal soon and you can enjoy this fantastic little community. Have a look through the forums, particularly ‘how our forum works’, there’s lots of helpful information there including some house rules.
  42. 3 points
    Agreed, it’s a lot on one single person (financially and time wise), if there were co-admins, la-femme wouldn’t have so much pressure on her, and we as members would have an admin team who we could rely and depend on to manage the site that we love so much. It’s a win win in my opinion, and I too hope we can move in that direction, otherwise this may very well be the beginning of the end :(
  43. 3 points
    Is there any way we could have an app instead of a site? Apps tend to have an easy UI and generate money via simple ads. Just seems that apps have taken the place of sites these days so if shys wants to move with the times it would be a good idea - I'm just checking it out there, I wouldn't know how to do it myself lol, it's just an idea. It also would increase privacy re husbands and family coz you wouldn't have to keep deleting your browser history, for the ladies that find themselves in that situation! No clue how practical that is but thought it was worth suggesting.
  44. 3 points
    It's great that @la-femme is around. I'm thinking based off the entire topic and past few days we should all try to remain where we are for the time being I think that's the general concensus and it's just a case of looking to the future of what we can do here. @ThroughTheLookingGlass86 Pro boards are not a bad option, but they're highly similar to what the current board offers and with Invision software/ There's the chance of offering/adding moe customization. Pro boards do have a higher premium version, Forums.Net which is a likeness It's just a case of checking the full details to see who offers the best value and features. I am more than happy to continue to support the site and admin in any way I can and while at the start of this thread I thought I might have been wasting my time, as usual we've all come together! The only reservations I have going forward is that we continue in this manner and really care for the site as a community and changes are made going forward with more collabaration and transparency. If not then I don't see the point in contributing too much and I think @la-femme can see things need to change in order for Shybi to survive. The future looks bright and we'll still be able to call this place/similar home, hopefully for a long time to come. A big thanks to everyone who has contributed here
  45. 3 points
  46. 3 points
    What about optional subscription? While the site needs to be accessible to new people and some people have privacy concerns about making payments, I (and presumably others) would be willing to pay a small regular amount, especially in return for an area in which to post with more privacy.
  47. 3 points
    Ok so what happens now? I think we all agree that this site is valuable and we’d all like to see it thrive...how do we as members make that happen? It seems clear that our current admin no longer has the personal resources to maintain the site...no one faults her for that, but how can we help. Is it a matter of someone(s) purchasing ownership of the site? Does @la-femme have a long term goal in mind? There must be some goal, otherwise why ask for donations to pay the ‘ransom’ to move the server and save the site (for now)? She obviously has interest in keeping the site alive, and so do we, together what can we do to initiate change? Do we really just sit and wait and hope for the best?
  48. 2 points
    Thank you so much! I really loved fremont street. I went ziplining for the first time! It was awesome Also a lot of eye candy there
  49. 2 points
    The original is one of my all time favourites but I do love a sultry cover.
  50. 2 points
    As la femme is the ONLY admin, there is not much we mods can do unless she opens it up to any of us. ( I have asked in the past)