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Showing content with the highest reputation since 08/21/2017 in all areas

  1. 20 points
    I just got what I've wanted for so long. I can still taste her on my lips. I can still smell her. She tastes amazing. She smells amazing. She looked beautiful. The sounds she made. The way she arched her back. The way she looked at me. The intensity of her staring into my eyes and smiling while i could feel her fingers inside me. Everything else faded away. I kept wondering if it was really happening. My bra and panties are still at her house, they're hopelessly lost for tonight. I don't give a fuck because of how that came to be. I have other bras, and she'll find mine tomorrow and remember why it's there. I almost got to fall asleep in her arms. But there were interruptions. She was asleep before the interruptions. (My dog is an asshole and wouldn't shut up... dog, husband and i ended up going home because of that). I only wish i could have fallen asleep in her arms. Held her close. Woken up with her. Gone down on her again in the morning. Saw that face she made again. And before i left, after she was asleep, her fiance thanked me for fucking her. And i thanked him for allowing me to. After nearly 4 years of wanting her... Did this really happen?? Holy fuck.
  2. 19 points
    I just wanted to make a short introduction. Glad I stumbled upon this website. Was being a little douche-y and browsing the forums for a few days before mustering up enough courage to actually sign up. Even though, one can be as anonymous as one wants on here, I am still feeling a bit nervous and cautious. Been married for 14 years with two beautiful children. Absolutely in love with my husband. Feel extremely grateful for my life and all that I've been provided. However, just like a lot of ladies on here (remember stalky me was reading up on you guys?!), I have always felt attraction towards other women since forever. I had casually mentioned that to my husband when we were dating and he had made comments like, "oh too bad, you missed your chance" and "let's have a threesome!" We both knew that was just a lighthearted banter going nowhere. Plus, we are not that adventurous. Over the years, we'd talk about who we found attractive and agreed we had the same type! Again, this was all just talk. He is a pretty straight vanilla guy who just happens to be open minded enough to have chats like that. Him and I have an incredible relationship, he is my best friend and our greatest strength is healthy communication. Well, I had a very honest conversation about wanting to have an experience with a woman before I turned 40. Like a goober, I was hoping he'd give me his blessings and maybe even help coordinate! In reality, that conversation got quite intense and I think at that point, he may have realized that I was serious about it ...I had always been serious about it. He basically said that his biggest fear was that I'd leave him for a woman and he will be devastated. That broke my heart. And I kept reassuring him that, that wasn't going to happen. I have told him several times and I've meant every bit of it, that he is all the man I need or want and what I am curious about is something he can't give me. Our last conversation on this topic ended with him saying that he would like me to be happy and we have one life to live so if I want to experiment, I'd have to do it in secret. He wouldn't be able to be ok with it. I don't want to hurt him but I also agree with him that I should be able to experience what I think will bring me joy. I have found certain people attractive off and on throughout my life. I am finding it to be true more so now than before. I have never been with a woman before but I have a very strong feeling that I will love it provided the stars are aligned and the chemistry is there. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I can't see myself being the initiator. I am hoping it'll all happen organically. That's the only way I can justify it with minimal amount of guilt. Guilt. That's another topic for another day. Sigh. I have NEVER admitted to being bicurious to anyone other than my husband so writing this post has been terrifying as well as liberating. Thanks for reading and thanks for allowing me to be part of this community. I promise to keep my douchery to a minimum! Cheers.
  3. 16 points
    I've known my best friend Kat since college. While I was experimenting with girls, she saved herself for marriage to the perfect guy. They really are good together so I was surprised when she revealed to me that she was not entirely satisfied in the bedroom. He could give her a good dicking though. Guys, she even gave up her ass to him!! And apparently, his fingerbanging skills were top notch, but he would not put his mouth anywhere near her vagina. She gave him head all the time, but it was because she liked doing it as much as he liked receiving it. He's never returned the favor so she really didn't know...but the way he responded differently when she sucked him off made her want the same. She knew I was bi; I never hid it from her, so I wasn't sure why she was telling me this. I could have responded like a normal human, but Kat was gorgeous! And, she just so happened to be talking to me about something I was an expert in. So the words that came flying out of my big mouth were, "Jesus Christ, I'd go down on you in a heartbeat if I had the chance. You're hot as hell!" I instantly regretted it. The truth is, I'd always found her attractive, and I'd had a naughty thought (or two...or three...) about her, but I always feined disinterest for obvious reasons. Yet, there I was...basically telling her that I would fuck her. She took it in stride though and just giggled and moved the conversation forward like it was no big deal. That was 9 months ago. Besides my occasional bouts of feeling like a dumb ass for saying that, nothing about our friendship had changed at all. Fast forward to last weekend. She asked me to travel with her to a jewelry exposition she was having. This was not abnormal, we had taken overnight trips together on several occasions. But not since I said what I said. So the whole time we were driving there, I was being ultra careful that I did not do or say anything to make her think I was lusting after her. Everything was going well until the night after the tradeshow. It was a crazy busy day so we decided to have drinks and relax at the hotel bar. By the time we made it back to our room, we were both tipsy and giggling like teenagers. I headed straight for the shower while she plopped down on the king-size bed to call her husband. She surprised me by coming into the bathroom while I was still drying off in my towel. She undressed in front of me while I was brushed my teeth. She was lingering while naked a little too long so I had to ask her, "Ummm...what are you doing? I'm --" "Relax," she said, cutting me off and gesturing to her body, "we both know I don't have anything YOU have haven't seen before!" and stepped into the shower. She laughed heartily as she closed the glass door. I shrugged as I walked out laughing as well and called out, "Touché!" over my shoulder. So, about that king size bed. It was literally big enough that we didn't have to be anywhere near each other. I slid in on a side and hung out as close to the edge as possible. As soon as the lights were off and were laying there in the dark and silence, my mind started to wander. As I said, she was gorgeous and it was a real treat to have seen her naked earlier. Her tits were the perfect size. Her caramel colored nipples were tiny but erect. Her pussy was bare except for a small patch that was trimmed super low. By now you're probably getting how this whole time I had been overthinking & trying so hard to pretend I couldn't see her that I drove myself to thinking about her non-stop. I lay there fantasizing for a long time. Hearing her steady breathing and assuming she was fast asleep, I brought my hand down and started touching myself as I thought about how delicious she looked earlier. It was slow at first but then I started really getting into it. I realized I was getting carried away so I turned to make sure I hadn't woken her up and oh my fucking god, she was watching me. I don't know for how long, but just knowing that I'd been caught sent my heart racing. She didn't say anything though. She just smiled and bit her bottom lip a little. What she did next shocked me. She slowly pushed her t-shirt up, exposing her breasts. Then she kicked our covers down so that I could see her hand which was now reaching down into her panties. I watched, in stunned silence, as she squirmed beneath her own touch. At this point, I knew that she knew what she was doing to me. I reached into my own panties again as I watched her. Her face took on a look of absolute pleasure as she watched me too. I couldn't stop myself from doing what I did next. I moved and laid on my side right next to her. Even then she didn't stop exploring herself, so I put a hand on her stomach, brought my face to hers, and kissed her. She kissed me back in a way that I can only describe as hungry, like she'd been waiting for my lips for so long. I moved to straddle her as we kissed and suddenly her hands were on my face and in my hair, then on my back pressing me onto her. I pulled away from her to take my shirt off. Her hands then found my breasts and she rubbed over them, gently grazing my nipples. I put my hands on top of hers and squeezed my nipples with her hands. I didn't want her to stop touching me, but there was something I wanted even more. I leaned back down, bringing her arms up over her head and holding them there as I kissed her again. I moved from kissing her mouth to kissing her neck. I could tell she wanted to reciprocate so badly. She was pushing her body hard against mine. I brought my face back up to hers, looked her in the eyes and said, "Keep your arms here. Just lay back and let me..." She inhaled deeply as I let her go and moved down, taking a nipple into my mouth. She let out several whispered Ohs as I teased her nipples back and forth with my hands and my mouth. I kept traveling down, leaving a trail of kisses from her chest to her stomach. I tugged at her panties and she moved to help me get them off. Wow were they soaked through! I continued my descent of kisses, returning to her stomach where I had left off. I knew she'd been craving this next bit for a long while (& if I'm honest, so had I!), so I took my time. I alternated between kissing and rubbing her mound as well as the crest of her closed lips. Whereas she was eager and rocking against me before, she was now calm and breathing deep, anticipating breaths. She yielded to me and allowed me to spread her legs myself. I kneeled between them with my hands on her knees. I took in the full view of her beautiful body in front of me as I let my hands slide down her thighs. I fondled the very outside of her lips with my thumbs, pulled them apart to see the sticky wetness that had gathered there. Laying down, I kissed one of her thighs and kept kissing down and down until I reached her pussy. She was so turned on that my mouth came away wet with her as I pulled back from my first tiny kiss. The first taste of her juices nearly sent me into a frenzy. Part of me wanted to be greedy and devour her. But I kept my resolve and kissed her clit gently at first, reaching out with only the tip of my tongue, then mouthing as much of it as I could, gripping with my lips and pulling it into a deep kiss. I felt her hands on my shoulders. "No touching, remember?" I cautioned her playfully. She brought her hands back up to rest on her head and tousled her hair, whimpering a little in frustrated ecstasy. I teased her like that for a little while, relishing the taste of her as she squirmed and moaned softly. Then I went all in, spreading her pussy open with my fingers and and putting my mouth and tongue all over it. I reached up with both hands and pulled her nipples while I continued to circle my tongue around and around her clit. She was moaning loudly now and I kept at it until my face was messy and her juice was dripping down my chin. I slowed down the intensity and rubbed her pussy with my fingers. She spread her legs as wide as she could and pushed her hips up just a bit as if to ask for more. Finally, pushing one finger in deep and letting it come to rest inside of her, I pushed my tongue down on her clit in a licking, sucking rhythm that took her to the edge. She was moaning very loud and grabbing at the bed sheets. She got louder and louder, screaming as she orgasmed. I liked the sound of that. I put my hands on her waist as her body shook hard and just held my mouth over her clit until the throbbing subsided. When she settled down I crawled back up beside her. She grabbed my face and kissed me, sucking my top lip, then my bottom lip, tasting herself off of them. I thought she would have been ready to settle down but she was instead ready to take what I had denied her earlier. Her hand reached down and rubbed my pussy outside of my drenched panties. She kept fondling until she had pushed my panties far enough aside that there was no longer a barrier preventing her fingers from sliding against my wet folds. She slid down and sucked on one breast as she gently rubbed my clit and dug deeper into my wetness. Her strokes were unsure but she continued to explore me trying to find my hole. I reached my hand down and guided her. Her confidence then grew with every thrust of her finger and at my insistence she gradually inserted another and another. She fingered me for a while before pulling her fingers out of me and putting them in her mouth. She looked right at me, coyly, as she sucked my juices off of her fingers. I turned onto my back and started masturbating, assuming she was not going to go down on me. I couldn't have been more wrong. She pushed my hand aside and brought her mouth down on my pussy and reinterpreted some of the same things I had done to her with my tongue. I reached under my leg and fingered myself as she licked me until I came. She came back up beside me and we kissed a few more times then caressed each other until we fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up to her kissing my shoulder, her tits pressing into my back. She reached under my arm and fondled my nipple as she grinded her pussy against my ass. I turned over and she straddled me. I reached down and pressed against her clit as she rocked against me. I couldn't believe she wasn't freaking out and instead wanted more. So I put my hands under her ass and urged her to sit on my face. I ate her out like that until she screamed again, grinding against my face as she orgasmed. Her tradeshow was from Friday to Sunday, so for three days I fucked her and made her come over and over again. She's tried to find an excuse to be alone with me since. Finally, tonight, after trading dirty pics and sexting all week, she's coming over to (her words, not mine) sit on my face. Mmmmnnnh. I should probably feel used, but I'm loving every minute of it! -------
  4. 15 points
    I have been imagining the kind of relationship I would have if I ever connect intimately with a woman. One thing that often comes to mind is my status in a woman's life. I prefer women who are either married to a man, or are committed to a man. I am very happily married and will always regard my husband as my #1. I seek those who respect that. As much as I would lust for, care for, adore, and possibly love a woman, I don't want to be the most important person in any woman's life. I want to be her #2. I hope that doesn't sound bad or self-deprecating.
  5. 14 points
    Many of us are drawn to a bit of emotional danger. We like the girl who is mysterious, who keeps us guessing, and on our toes. We like the girl we know we have to compete for. It makes us feel awesome when and if we win. She's had a rough past, and we want to believe we can be the one to change things for her, we think we could be the magical cure that makes her feel happy and loved. She is the kind gestures that you have never preformed for another women. She is the thoughts that consume you at night when you're alone, and you hate to admit that you're thinking 'Is she in someone else's bed tonight?' Eventually you wake up and realize that you're not enough for her, no one is, and no one ever will be. After enduring these kinds of relationships and wondering if all people are like her, you cross paths with a different type of girl. She seems to be like a magical creature, handcrafted by Disney, she is the unicorn girlfriend, you blink twice, checking to see if she is real. Someone so beautiful, funny, intelligent, emotionally sound and uncomplicated couldn't possibly exist outside of a work of fiction. Could they? You're amazed when you discover she doesn’t play games, she tells you her intentions from the start and holds true to them. You're confident you aren’t going to lose her, she loves you and has prioritized you as important, that not only makes you confident in her, but yourself as well. She tells the truth, when you say or do something she may not agree with, she’ll let you know without being passive aggressive about it. She follows through with her promises, the things she says she’ll do she actually does. She values your relationships with others, not only is she trying to make things work with you, but she tries to make a good impression on your friends and family too because those people are important to you. She doesn’t add extra stress to your life, and she makes you feel better just by smiling at you. She’s doesn't insult you or make you feel bad, she lifts you up and her affection is genuine. She challenges you to be the best version of yourself, she doesn’t want to change you, but sees the potential of what you can be, and encourages you to live up to it. She loves the wonderful things you do for her, but she isn't a one way street, doing sweet things for you too genuinely makes her happy. Like showing up during menstruation week with your favourite movie and chocolate and lots of cuddles because she cares. When you go out with her, all other women seem to fade into a blurry grey background, and all the colour and light in the room seems to be coming from your girl. That's how awesome you think she is. The best part? You're not afraid to tell her, because you know you're the apple of her eye too. There is no fear in your relationship with her, no insecurity, no anxiety, no games, and the love is true. I'm making a point to stay away from headwreckers from now on. Bring on The Unicorn!
  6. 14 points
    I've found a lady who actually understands me. She is decent and loves me and I do with her. We have no secrets from each other and we are true to our word with one another. She's taken the big step of introducing me to her mum and brother. She's never done this before. We've both come from rubbish situations where we are rebuilding ourselves after difficult previous relationships. We are now doing this together. It's early days but all the signs are good for us both. Here's hoping this continues as I've been burned badly before with a woman and it almost destroyed me. For the first time in a long time I feel positive again for the future. Hope it continues.
  7. 13 points
    Many of us have been in abusive relationships, and it seems each day there's a new thread or post about someone who thinks they might be, so I thought it might be helpful to put a few things together in one place. Whether you're in an abusive relationship, recently freed yourself from one, watching someone you love in one, or something else, this thread can offer something for you. It is and will likely continue to be a work in progress. I invite all members who have some experience with abuse and/or links to resources to post with the hopes of helping other members find health and happiness. I will link some of the threads already on the site with stories of abuse so that they might help others. Please hare how you experienced the signs of abuse, how they affected you mentally, what kept you from leaving, how you got out, and anything else you feel might be relevant and helpful to others. Remember that abuse isn't always physical, and doesn't always become physical. Abuse can be emotional, narcissistic, financial, psychological, sexual, etc. It can include shaming, gaslighting, isolation, violation of boundaries, making you feel trapped, invalidation, minimizing, feeling like you need to walk on eggshells, and many other unhealthy behaviors. Rarely is it all bad, either, which adds to the confusion. In the beginning, it is often fairy tale wonderful, and even as the relationship continues, we catch glimpses of this, just enough to give us hope that things might improve someday. Few would stay with someone who treated them badly 100% of the time, but many of us have stayed even being treated poorly 90% of the time. NO ONE deserves to be treated like this. I will also include some definitions and links as I build up this post. I can add helpful resources to the original post as they come up. Many of the links below are on very helpful sites with lots of other posts, so feel free to click around. Please feel free to create your own threads with questions, as this post is more dedicated to answers and resources. *********************************************************************************** Characteristics of an abusive relationship Excerpt: The relationship may be abusive if one of the partners: Withholds affection or approval as a form of punishment. Criticizes and shouts at their partner, or calls them mean, negative, and hurtful names. Ignores their partner's feelings and insults their beliefs, ideas, and/or values. Lies to their partner to manipulate and control their thoughts. Insists their partner look a certain way. Humiliates their partner in public. Keeps their partner from seeing and having contact with friends and family. Prevents their partner from communicating with others or restricts their means of communication, such as taking away their phone or computer. Withholds resources such as money or transportation. Makes their partner feel guilty if they spend time with other people, thereby isolating them. Puts their partner in dangerous situations, such as driving recklessly, driving under the influence, or abandoning them. Displays violent and threatening behavior, like throwing objects, or hitting, punching, or slapping their partner. Locks their partner out of the house, or traps them in a room. Rapes or sexually assaults their partner, or threatens to do so. Threatens to commit suicide if their partners leaves or confide in someone about the abuse they are facing. Threatens to hurt their partner or their loved ones, including themselves. Threatens to kill their partner if they leave or confide in someone about the abuse they are facing. A person may also be in an abusive relationship if they: Experience fear in their partner's presence, or fear of what they may do to them. Want to leave the relationship but feel as though they cannot. Believe they deserve to be harmed or punished by their partner. Feel guilty or feel like everything is their fault. Are afraid of being alone with their partner. Signs you're in a toxic relationship General info about abusive relationships Narcissistic abuse Signs you've been abused by a narcissist Gaslighting: manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. Signs you're being gaslighted More about gaslighting Isolation Financial abuse Financial abuse from Women's Law MANY helpful links on this site- click around!!! Signs of a sexually abusive relationship Physical and sexual abuse Getting the courage to leave Recovering emotionally Unspoken Secrets about Life After Abuse Rules of No Contact Hoovering and No Contact Gray Rock Additional sites with many helpful articles and links: One Mom's Battle: about divorcing a narcissist, especially if you have kids Narcissisticabuse.com Loveisrespect.org National Domestic Violence Hotline Darkness to Light child sexual abuse Luke 17:3 Ministries Christian-based abuse resources, excellent even if you are not Christian Out of the Fog info and forum about personality disorders Books you may find helpful: Divorcing a Narcissist series by Tina Swithin In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People by George Simon Jr. PhD Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD and Randi Kreger BIFF Response by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. *************************************************************** ShyBi Threads:
  8. 13 points
    Omg. I’m going through a “longing” and “aching” for it stage, right now. I haven’t had sex with a woman since April of last year. I’ve officially created a new record of the longest time w/o doing the nasty. In the meantime, I’ve turned to porn to get some jollies. Lol. I’m absolutely obsessed with real, homemade porn. I LOVE it when I can hear the girl cumming. I love how she rides her face. Ugh. And since I have no one else to share it with in my real life (my straight friends would think I’m prob trying t throw a hint their way): http://www.homemoviestube.com/videos/396813/lesbian-face-sitting.html
  9. 13 points
    Be honest with him. Being with a woman alone is SUCH a different experience than a threesome. If you cave to HIS desires, it then becomes about him, and you start to resent him. And as @unknown said, you start to feel like you have to perform sometimes. Plus, you don't want to risk him feeling left out, and it's always on the back of your mind, even if for a moment it's just you and her while he sits back. I was married to a man who said ok to me being with a woman if we dated her together. He ended up REFUSING to let us be alone together, which was all I really wanted. It made it REALLY hard. The whole thing ended up really complicated and high drama. My marriage ended a year after we split with her, for other reasons. She and I ended up reconnecting later, and let's just say we had some "unfinished business." I'm glad we did, even though we're not together anymore. I wish it was a freedom my ex could have allowed me, but he has a tendency to make EVERYTHING about him, including this. Now that I am free, I exclusively date women (well, one woman), and it's MUCH better for me.
  10. 13 points
    Oh, labels, labels...how I hate them! In my experience, most bisexual and lesbian women are a combination of 'feminine' and 'masculine', and often unorthodox or non-conformist in various ways. Still, to this day (most recently in California, of all places, in July), people express surprise when I tell them I have a female partner, but only if they don't know me at all...because I am petite, have very long hair, and wear make-up, lots of jewellery, and sometimes 'feminine' clothes. C'mon folks - are we really still totally stuck on stereotypes in 2017?!!!
  11. 12 points
    Had one of the most amazing sexual experience of my life this weekend. My girlfriend and I do not get a lot of alone time. Most of our alone time includes our husbands watching us or rushing us. This weekend it was just us and so amazing! I texted her around 5 and told her she needed to go ahead and shower before I got there, making it very clear what I wanted later on. When I got there we drank and talked and laughed so much. We talked about experiences from our past and so forth, things we have never discussed in the past. Later on she started flirting with me. I grabbed her and pushed her up against the counter and kissed her gently. She couldn’t handle it, she tried to put your hand down my pants several times and I stopped her everytime. I could feel the frustration building up and told her to just wait, we will get to that later. No need to rush tonight. I ran my fingers down her face and kissed her some more. We finally moved into the bedroom and I don’t think I even made it in the room fully before she was standing there naked. I followed suit and got in the bed with her. I’m not sure if I have ever in my life experienced that much passion as there was btw us at that moment. We both wanted it so bad. Looking at her completely naked on the bed with her legs spread open just for me was an image I don’t ever want to forget. I just looked at her for a minute watching her squirm begging me to touch her. I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her. I kissed the whole way down her body and then kissed her very wet pussy. We didn’t hold anything back, we let it all out. We had our way with each other until we were both exhausted. I cannot believe I have went my whole life without experiencing this! If being with another woman is wrong, I don’t want to be right. It felt so right. Neither one of us wanted to let the other one go. We managed to get up and get dressed. I wish I would of been able to cuddle up with her and go to sleep. But I knew I had to get home. We went back to the kitchen and had another drink. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye just yet, I kissed her slowly for a long time before I let go. God I love that woman. Her smell is so intoxicating! I made my way to the door finally as it was approaching 2:30 I’m the morning. But she wouldn’t let me leave without one more long kiss on the front porch. I hope we have many more night like that in the near future. Definitely one of the top experiences I have ever had!
  12. 12 points
    I agree it's an interesting article, and it makes a lot of good points. I'm glad you shared it here! I know I really struggled when I shifted to focus on dating women, because men are SO much more aggressive, and that was what was familiar. I couldn't tell if a woman was interested. Even now, the women I've actually had relationships with have had to be VERY explicit with me about their interest, because I just wasn't picking up what they were putting down, I didn't want to "misread signals," etc. I came out at 18 as bi, then at 25 as gay, then 2 years later, opened back up to men out of frustration trying to date women, and ended up married to a guy (who treated me horribly, which is why I am not married to him now). When we divorced, I swore to myself no more men, and it's better for me. I think actually that desire to be romanced, as discussed in the article, is part of how I ended up in such an abusive marriage. He lovebombed me, and after 2 years of loneliness, I was so hungry for it that I skipped right past all the red flags along the way. I didn't grow up recognizing my attraction to women for what it was. I thought I admired certain girls, appreciated the female form, all that, but only in hindsight do I see I actually had crushes on certain girls. I definitely grew up feeling like I needed to be the chased, not the chaser. What I felt for girls was always different from what I felt for guys. I figured what I felt for guys was what there was. I love the egalitarian dynamic between two women. My girlfriend is very butch, and in some ways, definitely takes on a more "male" role in our relationship, but also in other ways, I get to see the difference and how we're on a more level playing field, and I love it. I will say that my coworkers now know her for bringing me flowers to work when she picks me up for lunch! She was married to a woman who ended up leaving her for a guy, who she subsequently married, and that has left her scarred for sure. She was a bit wary of me when she heard I'd been married to a man before, but I am most decidedly gay! My last girlfriend let our relationship fall to pieces over a guy she had met, so I can understand how lesbians, on the whole, are often hesitant to date bi women, and yes, most bi women, as we see all over this site, end up married to men in the end. I think a lot of it is on a subconscious level, that desire to procreate and fit into societal standards, especially if that's what you've grown up with. It takes a lot to feel good breaking free of that and settling into a life that goes against the grain. But for those of us who are only happy that way, it feels amazing.
  13. 12 points
    The donations are still in Paypal untouched for now until 1and1 get back to me tomorrow. If nothing comes of it, and the site closes all will be refunded. I can't thank everyone enough from the bottom of my heart who donated. Truly.. and I hope things are sorted in the next few days. I'll keep you all posted. I'm not long back from a 12 hour shift so apologies for not being able to clarify sooner. A few other clarifications :- Social media is killing off discussion/debate forums and has been for a while now. End of story.. However... women who find us here do NOT want to appear on social media. I understood that from the start and named the site accordingly... and it's also why Facebook/Twitter and all other social media icons are removed from the forum software. Too many are afraid that they share or out themselves accidentally or someone else does and cannot take that risk. Facebook and other media links and referrals are also needed now to rank highly in the internet stakes. But it's really not an option for this site and probably never will be. The internet has moved on since 2005 when this site started. The ethos of this site cannot since it's about being a safe harbour. Once moved we'll still be with the same hosts we've been with since 2009. Like an old mobile phone contract that hasn't been updated and you end up paying far more than new customers for the same or better services,... personal financial difficulties aside.. that's where Shybi has been for the last few years. On a 'bronze' server for nearly £250 a month, when newer clients were on the platinum for much less. I cannot afford £250 a month at the moment the new server is less than half that. The site may well end up moving again... but at the end of the day my appeal went out because whatever happened I did not want the site to end due to a few months financial difficulties. Better things for me are hopefully just round the corner ( new job fingers crossed )... I couldn't just let the site go down to a few skint months and that's why I reached out. Chat rooms etc... well IPB have closed even their own native and fully integrated chat rooms now. Things like that are another area dying off thanks to social media and messenger services. Other things such as 'clubs within forums' and many other progressive features are afoot in IPBoards now. But there's not point in harking back to wishing things were as they were on the net in 2010 or 2013.. Chat rooms etc can surely be done again, but integration with the database and safety is somewhat more problematic these days given that even the forum software makers have given up on them completely. IF things work out tomorrow with 1and1 the site will be ok for a while. I cannot do much about the site's fortunes in relation to Facebook groups and Twitter chats... but I do know for those that find us here and stay for a while, that this site has been worth every penny I've spent on it since 2005. Thanks once again SO much for the donations. They'll be put to the use they're intended within the next few days or refunded in full. Keep your fingers crossed. LF xxx
  14. 12 points
    I found shys on a random google search one evening and was soon hooked. I had finally found a place where I could be open about my emotions for the first time in my life! It’s liberating! I have connected with some of the most amazing people who have made me open up (something I really wasn’t used to), they’ve listened to me on my down days (there have been many). We’ve laughed and shared stories and experiences, and every single interaction has made a huge difference to my life and how I’ve handled things along the way. I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to listen to me pouring my heart out even when you had your own problems to deal with so for that I am eternally grateful. One unique lady became very special to me early on. I felt that magnetic pull towards her and I wasn’t sure what or why I felt that strongly, but I did. We hit it off quickly. So much in common, the same interests and desires. Everything just clicked into place. She was all I could think about. We messaged every day and grew closer and closer. We were both open with our husbands, but sadly, they both became very insecure with our connection, which, to be fair, was stronger than either of us had ever experienced before, although we never told them how strong, I guess they could tell. As much as we love our husbands, we grew to love each other too and it consumed and scared us both. Despite their insecurities we had to see each other, with their consent, never crossing the line, and sticking to the firm boundaries that husbands had set. If you were hoping for a raunchy shys story, this isn’t it. It was however, the most romantic and loving relationship I’ve ever experienced with anyone before and I’m fortunate enough to have a best friend at the end of it too. It’s been 11 months since our first messages and we’ve become so close, even if friendship is all we can have. The connection we made is unique and special and I’m a better person when I’m with her. I’m forever grateful to this place for making that possible. So while her husband can’t bear the thought of her being with anyone else, mine is coming around to the idea. The journey I’ve been on with my marriage is a post for another time but he has been truly amazing and in an odd way it’s brought us closer. Lots of communication and trial and error, which has been really hard at times. In the end it all comes down to one simple but crucial point….that he must always feel like he’s my number one priority above anyone else. I neglected him at times and I see that now. He accepts I may have relationships with other women if the opportunity presents itself, as long as he never feels like second best. Sounds simple enough right?? I thought so until I fell in love with a woman. It’s…..intense! I have so much to learn. So this is where I am now, a year later. I finally accepted who I am, I’ve dipped my toes in a world I was afraid of for a long time and found I’m quite at home here. I just need to figure out what I want, and I'm working a little harder on my marriage because he really is an incredible man. Right now this is just a big thank you to the people who set up this wonderful site and allowed a highly supressed bisexual to express herself in ways she never thought possible. I hope it helps others too.
  15. 12 points
    I'm married to a man, and I've been with women for 7 years now. I think I joined this site around 7 years ago also. I used to stress and obsess over finding a label for myself, and now I realize I don't need one, or want one. I used to think I wanted a woman as a FWB, and as time went on realized feelings usually got involved for me. I guess what I'm saying is, you may think one thing, until a situation happens, and you might end up surprising even yourself. I've learned so much about myself in these last 7 years! I've eaten my words many times, and I've grown tremendously from my experiences.
  16. 11 points
    I would love to open up to my husband about my bisexuality. He would be thrilled and would immediately start pressing me for a threesome. Here's the thing...I don't want a threesome. I want the opportunity to explore my sexuality with a woman without a penis getting in the way ;). I'm worried my husband will see this as a rejection. But I don't want to be with a woman behind his back either. Sigh...
  17. 11 points
    Hi, lovely ladies! It's been awhile since I've posted here. For a couple of years, I was head-over-heels for a close friend. She and I had some sexual encounters, but she hurt me deeply because she would push me away. My feelings seemed like they would never end. It took forever and I can't even pinpoint what caused it, but... I'm over her!! Yay! Over the last few months, I've noticed my interest in what she is up to has dwindled. I don't check my phone to see if she's texted me; I don't care if I hear from her; I don't sit on the edge-of-my-seat waiting for her to invite me to hang out. I just don't care. The burn is gone for me! The lovely thing is that life circumstances have meant that we don't see each other much, anymore. I suspect that's been a huge part of it. Also, her flaws became clearer and clearer to me. And they played a part in turning me off to her, too. So, now I am kind of bored!!! What's a girl with a desire for a fun, sexual relationship with another girl to do? Hubby would be ok with me having a sexual relationship with another woman. Nobody interests me, right now. I'm waiting for another crush to strike me, because that's how it started with her. Crushes are delicious and fun. As for her, it wouldn't surprise me if she tried to re-initiate sex at some point. That's just how she is. She loves the chase. It shocks me to even type these words, but if she tried to re-initiate, I would turn her down. I cannot wait to find another woman I have that connection with. She's out there somewhere.
  18. 11 points
    Before I knew what had actually happened, I found myself in my car on the way to her house. I think part of me was still shocked, while the rest of me was charged with electricity and anticipation. If you had told me three weeks ago, when we first started to become friends, that we'd end up here, I would never have believed you. But here is exactly where we are. Things had happened pretty quickly, and had taken some seriously unexpected turns pretty quickly. That having been said, I was pulling into her driveway, after almost a week of some pretty heavy text flirting, and my heart was racing. There was no denying it, I was here for sex and she knew it. She wanted it too. We had flirted, we had pretended we were just joking, then we had gotten a little more serious about it. As I walked upstairs to her room, liquor in hand, I panicked a little. I had anticipated this for a long time. I'd never been with a woman, never even touched one in a non professional or friendly way. But I was prepared to touch her, to lick her, to rub her all over. We were both very nervous, taking a couple small shots and smoking a joint and a bowl, talking and nervously laughing with one another, talking about my husband and her ex boyfriend. Every so often one of us would get brave and graze our foot against the other, or rub the other leg, but we were both too nervous to actually make any big moves. Finally she asked me, "Should I turn off the light?", to which I replied "yes please", and she leaned over to shut it off. By the time she was back, my arms were open and lips were ready. We began kissing, and rubbing. I had imagined being with a woman so many times, I had had dreams about what it would be like. This blew me out of the water. Her lips were soft on mine, and she smelled so fresh and feminine. She bit and tugged on my bottom lip in the sexiest way while we were kissing, before moving onto my earlobes, then my neck. As she pushed me a little, onto my back, and pulled herself up she laid her entire body along mine, I could feel her breasts on me as she kissed and sucked on my neck. While she was doing that with her mouth, her hands trailed downwards, feelings my breasts, gently pinching my nipples, rubbing her fingers lightly on my hips, then moving her hand to between my thighs. As she began touching me, as her fingers danced around finding their way, she breathed heavily in my ear as she sucked on my ear lobe, then worked her mouth downwards as well. Everywhere her hands had touched me, her lips followed. Soon her face was between my legs and she was eating my pussy. She licked all over my pussy, and my clit, she sucked in all the right places, licked me somehow rough and gently at the same time. As she did that she worked her fingers inside me with what was clearly an experienced touch. I was in ecstasy. I could feel my body begin to shake as everything I had dreamed of for so long came true. Everything about her was amazing. I laid there and let her eat my pussy, finger me, and rub on me for more than a few minutes, enjoying and relishing the moments as they passed. While it wasn't explosive or earth shattering, I came pretty quickly. After more than a few minutes, she lifted herself up and brought her weight down on top of me and began to grind herself on my hip. Soon she flipped over onto her back and pulled me into a position to be sitting on her face. She ate my pussy again and it felt so amazing, for a minute I lost control and found myself grinding on her face. Maybe it was for a few minutes. Maybe it was for hours. After cumming again, I climbed down and began sucking, licking, and kissing on her ears, her shoulders, her breasts and beautiful nipples . I sucked and pinched on her nipples as I moved my hands down further, finding my way to her pussy and clit. I worked my fingers as I touched her in a way I'd never touched a woman before, while kissing on her breasts. She came, she came twice actually. Squirted all over my hand each time. As a new sensation and something I hadn't expected, I felt proud and turned on that I had been able to please her that much, I enjoyed watching her breath heavily as I kissed her lightly and climbed on top, straddling her. I put one leg outside one of hers, the other in between hers. I placed my pussy just right against hers, then grabbed hold of her hips and began to gently rub my pussy on hers. I spent a few minutes moving slowly, adjusting a little bit at a time, until I heard her moaning get loader. Once I thought I had found the best place for both of us, I grabbed hold of her hips and ground harder. She and I both ground against one another, moaning. As our energy started to wear down, our grinding slowed down, then stopped and I slid off of her and laid down next to her instead. We laid there and caught our breath, then chatted a little, I don't remember now but we may have smoked another joint. I knew I couldn't stay much longer. While my husband knew where I was, with who, and what was happening, I still wanted to hurry home to him. I wanted to make sure he felt secure with what was going on, so that I could enjoy her again. Because after that night, I had a feeling that I would be enjoying her again, and soon.
  19. 11 points
    Absolutely love having sex with clothes on. I find all that rummaging around such a turn on, it works me up like crazy. Especially love when a girl leaves her jeans on & you need to unzip them & part her panties to one side......soooo hot!
  20. 11 points
    Casual sex with likeminded women can be fun and even fulfilling to a certain extent...BUT in my experience, intense sexual chemistry with a woman, which leads to a copious amount of wild, mind-blowing sex - the kind of sex that I would describe as 'spiritual' in nature - tends to lead to falling in love... If the chemistry is there, things don't stay casual for long...and that escalation into the great beyond is one of the glorious things that makes my life worth living...
  21. 11 points
    Sex anyway any time, with or without clothes
  22. 11 points
    Morning sex with a woman presents a delicious dilemma... Women can go forever, so it proves to be virtually impossible to get out of bed...resulting in being very, very late for work...ha, ha, ha...
  23. 11 points
    I wanna fuck myself to thoughts of you. I’m tired, and tipsy, and it seems like it makes thinking of you all that too easy. Thinking of your soft skin and sweet smell; your eyes, your hips, your lips. I wish I could fuck myself to thoughts of you. Not feel guilty that I only had you once and shouldn’t want more. Not feel bad about your fiancé not knowing. I can’t fuck myself to thoughts of you. I want you so much it itches at my flesh, but as soon as my fingers graze my body, I freeze. We’re friends; or at least that’s what we are trying to be. I shouldn’t... We’re a firework that’s been canceled, we’re exhaustion and satisfaction waiting to happen; we’re what’s pretty about war: When it doesn’t happen. I want you. Can’t have you. And, as it turns out, can’t even get myself off to thoughts of you. You’re too close. Too far. Do you ever think of me, wherever you are?
  24. 10 points
    4.5 years on, and I still get giddy and smile when her name pops up on my screen, when I hear her voice on the other end of the phone. I have literally smashed open my comfort zone and done things I never thought I'd ever do. For her. For us. If that isn't true love I don't know what is. I can't imagine myself with anyone else, for the rest of my life.
  25. 10 points
    I did have a relationship with another woman while I was married. So here's my perspective. I would be willing to pursue a relationship with a married woman. She's an adult, and competent to decide for herself if this is something she wants. and is willing to engage in. If she wants to be with me, and the attraction is mutual, then as far I'm concerned I'm OK with it if she is. That having been said, a couple of cautions apply. First, you have a great responsibility to not blow up her life. That means respecting her privacy and discretion absolutely. She may be taking some risk to be with me, so be aware of that always. Second, you have to understand and accept that however much you come to care for this woman and however much you enjoy being with her, you can never be first in her life. The odds are there's no HEA in your future, so you have to accept an HFN. (Happy Ever After/Happy For Now. The terms come from the romance novel genre.) If you're not OK with this, then don't start down this road. Finally, you both have to be clear on where this is leading. Maybe this is just you're lovers while you can be, and offer each other emotional support, warmth, smoking hot sex, or whatever. But you have no expectation that she's going to leave her family for you, and neither does she, really. If you both decide that she should leave him for you, then maybe that happens, but neither of you should expect that as a realistic outcome. Go into it knowing that it's temporary, and you have to be on the same page about this.
  26. 10 points
    As a math major, I'm tempted to inject some statistics here. Regardless of how many headwreckers and unicorns exist, there will always be more headwreckers available in circulation. That's because they bounce in and out of relationships like ping pong balls. Unicorns are nearly all in relationships because once they enter one, their partner never lets go. Sadly, I think this reinforces the hard life lesson (painfully learned),that going slowly, however counter-intuitive, reduces headwrecker risk, and improves unicorn perception. Sigh Ame
  27. 10 points
    I've had the most turmoil I've ever had in my life in the past year and a half. I was in a long term relationship which was dead emotionally. I fell in love with a woman who treated me like crap in the end which I didn't deserve after standing by her. That nearly destroyed me. I left my long term partner and stored my entire life away and lived with a friend. I met a beautiful woman 7 months ago and she has been wonderful for me. She has supported me with lots of things and I've done the same with her. We've been living together for about 3 months now and we get on well. Last week I finally got the keys to my new home and I'm dealing with that with her support. Life takes many twists and turns and is hard sometimes. Sometimes someone has that glimmer of light and they are there for you and you for her. I'm now looking forward in life, more than I've done in a long time. I'll get there. Never lose hope or sight of who you are and keep going no matter how hard it seems sometimes. You will get there.
  28. 10 points
    It's really pointless to keep discussing the options and possibilities of what can be done until things are more solidified with the server and the site. Once things are stable and in la-femme's control, she can then take into account all the suggestions that have been made and decide from there. Thank you la-femme for all the personal sacrifices that you've made over the last 13 years since the site began. I for one am grateful. I agree with you that you should be careful of who you give or share your admin duties with because it's a position that should come with respect for you as the main admin and willingness to see things from a neutral and objective point of view and only use the harsher measures to moderate if it is deemed necessary, such as filtering out men who try to disguise themselves as women and try to join the site. Also being able to deal with other things that may come up between members. I'm sure when everything becomes more stable that you'll be able to make the right decisions as to who you'd want to help you form an admin team. The good thing about you being the main admin is that if someone does do something stupid but it's not obvious to you, others can see that and make you aware of it, then you can take measures to remove them or just take away their ability to have access to those parts of the site. There's a whole different group of women that are on the site now than even 8 years ago and I'm sure there are some out of the new crew that might be willing to at least moderate. I'm looking forward to where the future leads the site and just a side note, there are those of us like myself, who have stayed with the site through everything and didn't give up on you or the site because it's about loyalty and friendship, not just how it can benefit you but how can it help and benefit others that struggle and have questions about their feelings. Here's to a new and exciting future for you and for the site you created. This is your baby and like all babies the site has changed and grown but it will only get better.
  29. 10 points
    I just want to show my girlfriend off to the world. I'm so proud to be hers. She's such a wonderful person. Just absolutely amazing. The way she thinks... the things she does... I've never met another person so closely similar to me, but so very much themselves. Trusting me with her heart whenever she needs to spill it out to me. And she does it so honestly and unapologetically, and accepts my heart when it needs to spill as well. She has so much love to give unconditionally. She's so talented and hard-working and caring and rational. God, is she rational. I love it. We have the same love language. We value and appreciate the same things in a relationship. We're playful and clever together. She amplifies everything about me. I love deeper. I laugh harder. I sigh every other second. With her, I'm so much better. She inspires me to be more. And I do the same for her. She flew into my life so unexpectedly, and I showed her the sort of caring and lasting friendship she was longing for. What she's given me in return is too much for words. And I tell her everyday. She tells me everyday. We write letters full of I love you's just to try to capture some of this feeling, but it's just not enough. Her heart is so pure. Her voice makes my knees melt into the pavement. She has me wrapped around her finger and there's no one I would trust more to do so. Barely any time has passed, but I feel like I know her so well. I feel like I've known her for ages. Like she was a part of me that I never knew was missing and now I can't live without. As many times as I've been in love before, this is so much more. She loves me as much as I love her. We were once the only ones putting effort into our relationships and now we are both putting our effort into this relationship equally. Neither of us is used to it, and both of us appreciate it so much. There's so much that can be felt from a single caring action. We understand that. It's the little things that matter. I just needed to spill this out to someone. It's so difficult to contain how happy I am about her.
  30. 10 points
    For many years I played the role of dedicated wife and mother. Twenty six years and five children later, I found myself at a crossroads. I could stay with a man I no longer loved, keeping the 'perfect' family unit together.Or take the tough, scary step and leave.I chose the latter and it was the right decision.That was a year ago.On reflection, the past year has been, in the main, an exciting and refreshing one.I have met some interesting(and some not so interesting!) people, enjoying good company and also enjoying my own company, my own space...when I needed to.Recently, I've made friends with a woman and she has awakened a sleeping giant within me, that I never knew existed.The feelings that she evokes are stronger than any I've ever felt towards a man.Its exciting and beautiful, if a little overwhelming.I am at the start of a new and very different journey and who knows where it will lead, where I will be or how i will feel, this time next year.For now, I am enjoying the moment and open to all life's possibilities.The next chapter will be written when its ready.When I'm ready!
  31. 10 points
    Actually, continuing on from my previous comment, my form of bisexuality seems to be the exact opposite of the women here who can’t see themselves in a ‘romantic’ relationship with a woman. I am sometimes sexually attracted to particular men, and in the past had romantic relationships with men, but never fell in love with one, or wanted to seriously commit to one...which meant that the relationship was really just all about sex and other forms of fun... But, ultimately once I finally admitted to myself that the sex I had with men, although enjoyable, was totally inferior to the sex I had with women, and that I preferred women in every way, I then decided that there was really no point in continuing to see men, and have lived my life as a lesbian ever since. Despite the fact that most men have absolutely no problem objectifying women, in one way or another (often without even realizing that they’re doing so), some of my male lovers accused me of objectifying men, because they knew I preferred women and had no intention of becoming more serious about our relationship (moving in together, or getting married)...and I did wonder if that was actually true. Was I objectifying men by conducting affectionate sexual relationships with them, but not falling in love with and committing to them? In the end, I decided that it was a matter of expectations, but that most men (and people in general) expected more, so, if not unethical, at the very least, for me, it wasn’t really a practical way to live. Now, like @FlaGrl08, the originator of this thread, I see that there are quite a few women here on Shy, most of whom are married to men, who are attracted to and desire women sexually, but for one reason or another, claim that they cannot see themselves in a romantic relationship with a woman...and, at the risk of being burnt at the stake, I wonder if this is just a way of managing their own expectations with regard to their desires (i.e. choosing not to desire what they believe they cannot have, or what could potentially throw their heterosexual marital life into chaos). While, of course, human beings embody every possible variation of sexuality and way of being, and I believe that, bar those that harm others, we must all accept that, I must confess that reading these posts I sometimes get angry and want to shout out, ‘Don’t you think women are objectified enough in this world, without contributing to the objectification of each other? Please do us all a favour and stick to men!’ But then I get a grip, and just think, well ‘different strokes for different folks’...and what goes on between two consenting adults is their own business. Clearly, some women don’t mind being objectified in that way (and, in fact, enjoy being objectified in more extreme ways, for example, in the context of BDSM)... It’s a point of contention - to such an extent that some members of Shy have actually left because they found it unacceptable or distasteful - but one that I can live with, as long as we’re not talking about using and abusing women, like so many men do (which is all over the news right now, as it should be). HOWEVER, having said that, I have to admit that I find it impossible to understand how anyone could possibly confine their interest in and desire for women to the purely sexual, as if erecting an artificial boundary between the body and the emotions contained therein, when there is so much more to experience and enjoy, and the potential for the most intense and fulfilling forms of intimacy imaginable with another woman... How can they resist?
  32. 10 points
    At this point of not having any in ages... I'd take sex morning, afternoon, night, right before brunch, after the Winter Solstice, on a Thursday... anytime I could get some!
  33. 10 points
    for me the answer is yes. it is an amazing yet challenging and painful thing to experience. in my situation, i’ve been with my husband for 20 years, married 9. i grew very close with a female friend who is also married. i always identified as straight so when this happened it hit me like a ton of bricks. at first there was a lot of NRE and lust, but over time that transitioned into love. fast forward 15+ months and there is no doubt it is love and it is mutual. in a way it was easy to go from loving her (as a friend) to being in love with her (yes there is a distinct difference). these feelings challenge me every day, especially when things aren’t great with my husband. in terms of leaving, i’m not quite there yet but can vision a life together with her. most things that people need to check off in the life compatibility department are already checked off with her and I. i’ve made the decision tho, if i leave my marriage it will be bc we no longer work, not bc of her and i’ll need time to determine if a public relationship with her is something we are both ready to face. We are not there yet but the path keeps opening to get there if we want (one day). for now, it remains this very private, emotional journey that we are on together and figuring out step by step.
  34. 10 points
    I've done the same...I was about to turn 34 when my lightbulb came on, but now that I see the light, it's easy to look back and see all the signs. Now I'm thinking WTF....how could I have missed that...it couldn't have been any clearer if it were plastered on my forehead. I was so programmed into believing that being straight was the only option, that I had blinders on to everything else. I wasn't able to see crushes for what they were. If I could have a conversation with my adolescent self, I'd say..."no you idiot, straight girls don't think about making out with other girls...you're not straight...who cares"
  35. 10 points
    I've learned my lesson. Many times over. Unless someone outright tells me they are interested I am not reading any flirting into any of that.
  36. 9 points
    I've been married to a man for ten years, and we have two young children. I love him and our family and plan to grow old with him. But at the same time, I know that I also need to have a woman to be truly happy...I have an empty place in my heart that can only be filled by that female energy. It's so hard to explain. :( Anyway, the woman I've been seeing is also married to a great guy, and when I think about my life and my future, not only does it include a woman, but it includes her. She IS that woman. I'm not sure if she completely feels the same way about me, but in my perfect ideal life, she and I would be just as committed to each other as we are to our husbands. No other women involved, just the two of us. I don't feel the desire to have threesomes or anything like that either...again, in my ideal life, I would be friends with her husband, and she would be friends with mine. They would get along (and honestly, I know they truly would...similar personalities and interests, etc.) We would navigate the waters as they come...sometimes she would need more attention, and other times he would need more. We would just work it out as we needed to. This would be my absolute perfect life arrangement...when I think about what I would need to be completely fulfilled, I think that this is it. Is it too much to ask? Is it not realistically attainable? I know that I am probably overlooking and oversimplifying things and feelings. What does your ideal situation look like, and are you there? How did you get there? How do you know when you have truly found the situation that is perfect for you...or does that even exist?
  37. 9 points
    @Yogagirl34 I'm so sorry to hear about those difficult experiences you've had. Speaking as a married woman who recently had a relationship online with a lady I absolutely considered to be my girlfriend - I completely understand your wariness about dating us! For my part, I think I would be wary about dating a single girl. The imbalance of our situations would worry me, and the potential for her to get hurt. My girlfriend was also married with kids, which made things a little easier for me. We both had lots and lots of other commitments, so when either of us had to take an extended break from messaging because of family stuff, the other would understand and not feel neglected. Don't get me wrong, we were deeply in love, but we still kept one foot on the ground because we had to. Neither of us was ready to break up our families, uproot our children and move them halfway around the world to be together - I doubt any relationship could emerge beautifully intact from that kind of wreckage. And we both understood that what made our connection so lovely was the fact that it wasn't real, not in the by-turns wonderful and utterly boring way that marriage can sometimes be. We were escaping our real lives, it was a euphoria-inducing fantasy... …. which is fine if you both have something to escape. Because even though it CAN be very monotonous, and slightly crushing in a gender inequality way, marriage and family is also very grounding, and warm, and reliable, and safe. I felt more comfortable knowing that I was with someone who had all of that for herself, and who wanted from me the exact same thing I wanted from her. That and no more. I wouldn't want to keep a single girl emotionally tied to me when she could be out looking for a better prospect. I wouldn't want to feel like I was constantly letting her down or giving her less than she needed. But if it did happen - I know how these things can just strike you - then at the very least I'd be super honest, right from the off, about what my limitations are. That said, I'm not sure it would achieve much if both of us were becoming infatuated.
  38. 9 points
    No alcohol?! I'm living in a different country to you then haha
  39. 9 points
    Before Shybi, I used to think that I had to be either gay or straight. That anything in between was either confusion or a stepping stone to eventually coming out as gay. That by saying I was bi meant I was probably just in denial. Now I know that sexuality is fluid and any feelings that I might have are legitimate and not problems that need to be solved, but simply aspects of who I am.
  40. 9 points
    Before shybi, I used to think there aren't that many married ladies who love women :-D.
  41. 9 points
    @lostgirl78 - Much of what you're saying demonstrates something that is common to quite a few women here on Shy, and that is the struggle to live with what I would describe as 'male tyranny' within heterosexual marriage. The term 'tyranny' may seem extreme, but it indicates oppressive, unreasonable and cruel behaviour, and the arbitrary use of power or control, all of which apply very well to the self-pitying, paranoid and bullying actions of husbands who have a very negative reaction to the revelation that their wife is bisexual. To make matters worse. the typical response of a woman in this type of situation is to make excuses for her husband, and feel sorry for him, and to blame herself. This is due not only to the maternal nature of women, but also to societal conditioning to be self-sacrificing, and often also to both subtle and overt manipulation by her husband. You said: Just as in wider society a person's sexuality is not, in reality, subject to the approval of others, so your bisexuality isn't subject to your husband's approval. You had the courage and decency to trust him and come out after you had married him, which was the best you could do, as you had been in denial previously, and his response was to make your disclosure all about himself and his own insecurities, and to let you know it, which laid the foundation for future controlling behaviour, and ultimately bullying. While it's never a great idea to cheat, it happens all the time, for all sorts of reasons, and if you decide to stay together for the long haul, then you need to let go of your guilt (if you're still holding on to it), and your husband really needs to make every effort to get over what happened and move on, otherwise there's no point continuing in the marriage. The insecurity-driven scrutinizing is a form of bullying that appears to have caused you to try to pretend to be 'the good devoted wife' (a sexist stereotype of how a woman should behave in the context of hetero marriage), while your husband apparently doesn't feel the need to be 'the good devoted' husband and try to understand your sexuality. As stated by some of the other members who've contributed to this thread, above, children don't thrive, and in fact, suffer from living in an unhappy household, so your attempt at self-sacrifice may backfire. (I have seen this happen in a major way in my childhood home, and my brother and I still talk about it 40 years later.) What does 'destroying' your family actually mean? Will that happen only if you decide to leave your husband, or could it be happening now anyway, because he is continuing to tyrannize you, and you are dreadfully unhappy? You aren't the only person responsible for the marriage and your family life - your husband is too - so try not to shoulder that entire responsibility, and, if possible, hold him to account for his actions. This is clearly a very candid and heartfelt statement, and is really the crystalization of not only your dilemma but that of many women here on Shy and in the married female bisexual community at large. Further, the fact that you've 'tasted the forbidden fruit', so to speak, makes it all the more difficult... So, what can you do? This is the inherent problem with traditional marriage - people change over time, so the person you marry will probably not be exactly the same person, with the same needs, desires and aspirations, in years to come, and sometimes this means that their sexuality is no longer the same, or they realize, as in your case, that they were never strictly heterosexual to begin with. This is a matter of personal identity (who you are), and therefore human rights (this may sound extreme, but it's true). You have the right to be who you are, and no one, not even your husband, is entitled to deny you that right. So, this may sound harsh, but if you and your husband decide to continue to be married, then he will need to accept that he must respect you as a person, and therefore that your sexuality isn't subject to his approval. He will also need to stop pressuring and bullying you, to attempt to control you and contain your sexuality - which is classic abusive behaviour - using the self-indulgent excuse that he hasn't gotten over your affair. Your need to be able to have a relationship with a woman is another issue, and of course your husband doesn't have to consent to be in an open or polyamorous marriage, so that you can see women. If he won't, then you'll need to decide on the most appropriate way to proceed, and if having a woman in your life is that important to you, you may need to leave the marriage. Some women wait it out until their children are older, and some don't, and leave to be with a woman (or women). I know women who fall into each of those categories, and it's never easy either way, but in any case it's extremely important to be in control of your own life, and not allow someone else (in this case your husband) to take that from you. Either way, your husband isn't entitled to oppress or control you, and provided that there's no perceived serious danger in doing so (i.e. physical abuse; serious mental/emotional abuse), you need to try to speak to him about that, with a view to working through it. However, if you are afraid to do so because you actually fear his reaction, or feel that the situation you are in is actually seriously abusive, or could become that way, then seek professional advice as soon as you can. Remember - no one has to put up with tyranny in the home. I wish you well...
  42. 9 points
    The past week has been rough. Yesterday was the 3 month anniversary of my husband's death, my mind has been everywhere, I had a dream that really shook me, and I've felt exceptionally alone. One of my husband's long time best friends, N, (who he dated in Junior high before she realized she was a lesbian.. She also works for my mom now) has been checking up on me every few days, and i had a really good,much needed talk with her about everything on my mind. Talking with her has pretty much kept me sane the past few days, she knew my husband for most of his life and she's completely non-judgemental. I told her about our situation with my girl and her husband, and how my husband's death has affected us, emotionally and sexually. I told her pretty much everything actually. She mentioned that my mom and sister wondered about my girl, considering she was so attached to me throughout the arrangements and the physical lack of distance between us, holding hands, arms frequently around each other, etc. My family is very Republican, religious, etc. Having a lesbian employee who pushes every boundary they have has helped open them up and become more accepting and question why they have certain values imposed by the church rather than thinking for themselves. I'm still uncomfortable with my parents knowing I'm bisexual and that my husband and I weren't monogamous. Though I'm thinking they may be onto me after N told me they'd mentioned something about my girl. Fantastic. N casually mentioned my (previously) teetotaling dad likes whiskey, which blew my mind. I texted my sister for verification and she confirmed that my parents now drink every so often (doesn't sound like a big deal unless you're familiar with the Independent Fundamental Baptist movement, even a drop of alcohol is of the devil). I said "all those years of hiding liquor and wine bottles when we knew they were dropping by, now this?" Sister said "they knew you drank, Ambrosia. They know you smoke too. They don't care, all they care about is you being happy and healthy. I feel like i can tell them anything" i told her i knew they know now that i smoke and drink, and i feel like i can tell them most things but not all. She asked me what sort of things? Not pills/hard drugs or anything, right? I told her definitely not, i barely take aspirin let alone pills or hard drugs. So, i told her I'm not straight. And H and I weren't monogamous. She asked, "are you and (my girl, she's G from now on) a thing?" I told her we used to be. She asked what happened, and i told her H died and the remaining three of us didn't know if or how we should proceed. She said "So you like dudes and girls?" So i told her the entire situation, our dynamic before he died, the bits of the night he died that I've always omitted because i didn't want to admit to anyone that we were in something deeper than just two couples hanging out. She took it much differently than i expected. She didn't treat me like I was a freak. She told me how sorry she was that I lost both H and my sexual relationship with G through all of this, empathized with me on how hard it must be to be dealing with such a complicated and heartbreaking situation while also living with G and her husband. She asked questions, what my relationship is like with G's husband (dear friends who don't sexually engage directly but aren't afraid of being naked in front of each other and love the same woman in different ways), if we ever traded opposite-sex partners (we didn't), if H ever slept with other women (we looked, but never found one), if I think the 3 of us will continue (we've discussed the possibility). I feel lighter. Accepted. Honest. I also admitted I've been casually hooking up with M, simply because my sex drive has been out of this world. She didn't judge me for that either. She listened and made me feel validated as i explained to her all of my feelings on the situation and how fucked up it is being 30 and diving into the single world for the first time in my adult life, especially since I'm on the opposite side of a deep, meaningful relationship that ended in death and have no interest in finding another, unlike a lot of singles who are hooking up with the intent of finding a partner. She validated my lack of desire to be with anyone romantically ever again, and assured me that i could be fulfilled without romance as long as I have meaningful friendships (which i have so many). Most people don't do that when i tell them I don't ever want a serious relationship again. They tell me I'll change my mind, I'll meet someone, the right person will come along despite my being adamant that I'm just not interested in coupling up and settling down again. I appreciated her willingness to listen to my wishes and not try to convince me otherwise. Today has been cathartic, after a super difficult and emotional week.
  43. 9 points
    Not everyone needs to have one person of each gender at the same time to feel fulfilled. Many bisexual people are monogamous, and they fall for who they fall for, one at a time. It's quite possible that she's completely satisfied as she is, and hanging out with her lesbian friends is how she expresses that part of her sexuality. She wouldn't be the first. It's very different when you realize later in life, while you're married, that you have an interest in women. That seems to be an even bigger struggle for many women. Did she say that sex with women is better? Even still, she may not have had a relationship with a woman that she wanted to marry, regardless of how the sex is. Sex is an important element of a relationship, but of course, there are other factors, too. It's sad that she doesn't feel she can be open about her sexuality, especially to her husband, but that's her experience and her life. Hopefully she's happy in it as she is.
  44. 9 points
    Not being into a woman who sends naked pics doesn’t make you not bi. I am turned off by a woman who leads with that, too. What kept you from meeting women when you chickened out? What went through your head? I will say that if you anticipate that you’re ultimately going to chicken out, stay off the sites and don’t put yourself in a situation where you’re leading women on. Sometimes the idea of something, or even seeing it in porn, is a bigger turn on than the idea of actually DOING that thing. It’s like being into a lot of the porn out there, but not actually wanting to have that kind of sex. Bisexuality is a spectrum, and if you’re as far over on it as you are, that’s okay. Maybe when you meet the right guy, you two can get off to fantasies about another woman there, or enjoy lesbian porn together, but be clear that you don’t actually want to do those things. Or, maybe as you get older, you’ll find that you DO. You never know. Take it one step at a time, but always be honest with yourself, and in turn, with those around you.
  45. 9 points
    I've made a massive change in my life in 2017. I finished a dead 26 year relationship with a guy. Fell in love with a lady which went horribly wrong in the end and that almost destroyed me. And I've ended the year on a high. In a new relationship with a beautiful woman who has been true to her word and we have promise together. 2018 is a completely new future for me. Where I've huge decisions again to make. But I'm more settled than I've been in a long time and with a lady who has stood by me and supported me and I have with her. This is going to be a positive time and I'm happy.
  46. 9 points
  47. 9 points
    I stepped in to the shop, and a young red headed assistant came over and asked if she could help me. The thoughts that ran through my head shocked me as I noticed her cute face and glanced down at her pert breasts under her corporate white blouse and the hint of a lacy red bra underneath. Not surprising given this shop sold lingerie and it was her job to sell it. I picked up a sexy purple lacy number and asked if the had my size and she asked if I needed a fitting. I nodded and she took me to the cubicles at the rear of the store. She told me to remove my shirt and she’d come in and look at the bra I was currently wearing the give her a shout when I was ready. I did as she requested and she came in to the cubicle, closing the door behind her. She looked at the bra I was wearing. A black number and checked the sizing, 34G. She told me to lift my arms and checked the gapping. She nodded and then disappeared, quickly coming back with some options for me to try. I noticed one was a low cut red number, with black cross cross ribbon across the top. Not my usual thing and perhaps more suited to the sex bedroom wardrobe than the daily work wardrobe... she told me to try them on and then get her to come in and check. I did each in turn. Every time she came in she slipped her hand in side my bra cups to check I was pulled to the front. Each time I let out a sigh, desperate for her to kiss me but she was just doing her job. finally I tried the low cut sexy number on and called her back. She came in, shut the door and bolted it. She nodded, “very nice!” Her lips were on mine before I knew it. Initially I was shocked but then I pushed my tongue gently in to her mouth, flicking it around inside her mouth suggestively as her tongue explored my mouth eagerly. Then she turned me to face the mirror, whilst kissing my neck behind me. “This looks amazing on you,”she said, taking my red lace clad breasts in her her hands and squeezing them, rolling her hands around on them. I moaned softly as she slipped her fingers inside and began to roll my nipples between them, still kissing my neck. I watched in the mirror as her hands travelled down across my tummy on to my skirt, down my legs, slowly pulling up my kirt, revealing inch after inch of leg above the knee and a stocking top and suspenders. She playfully flicked the suspended, pulling my skirt up so I could see my own lace panties in the mirror. Her hands ran up and down my outer thighs. Across the stockings to the bare leg and back again. I moaned gently. She slipped her right hand inside my panties whilst her left hand we t back to my breast, inside the bra. As one hand toyed with my nipple, tweaking and and rubbing it, the other slipped between my wet lips, gently fingering my clit. ”Pull off your panties,”she whispered in my ear. I didn’t hesitate, yanking them to the floor, watching in the mirror as she watched as I bent forward, stepping out of them. Her hands were on my bottom, massaging it as she reached back around. “Open your legs!” She ordered. As I did I watched in the mirror as she pushed two fingers inside me easily as I was so wet. Her fingers massaged my clit as her other fingers played with my nipples. I watched my own desire and pleasure in the mirror. ”Sit in the chair,” she ordered. I sat in the chair that faced the mirror. A large, leather looking easy chair with arms on the side. She knelt in front of me, lifting each leg over each arm of the chair, exposing my smooth cunt to her and to me in the mirror. I could see I was wet and my clit was swollen. She wasted no time and her tongue was on it. Licking. She sucked hard and I yelped. Trying to stay quiet so the customers and other assistants wouldn’t hear. Her tongue felt like magic against my clit as I watched her licking me langoriously in the mirror. Suddenly it wasn’t just her tongue, but her fingers finger fucking me as her tongue toyed with me. I rode on a crescendo of pleasure as first two fingers then three pushed hard inside me as her mouth sucked my swollen clit. I raised myself to her mouth, not wanting it to ever stop, and bucked hard as my orgasm ripped through my body, wave after wave, over and over, stilling then again, cumming and cumming until she had drunk all my juices and I couldn’t take it anymore. she moved up my body, kissing my mouth hard. It turned me on to taste my own sex in her mouth. She pulled me to standing as we kissed in front of the mirror. I undid her blouse and it fell to the floor and I slipped her bra straps off, undoing it and letting it fall to the floor as I bit each nipple in turn. It was her turn to moan as I sucked hard on them. She pulled up her skirt and I sighed as she wasn’t wearing any panties. ”You naughty bitch!” I whispered in her ear, “you’re a sexy bitch!” ”Lets fuck?” She whispered back. we fell to the floor which had a thick carpet. To begin with fingers and mouth were everywhere and then we slowed. She sat opposite me and opened her legs wide. I opened mine and manoeuvred until our open legs were entwined and our pussies met. We wriggled together until our clots touched and I felt a jolt of electricity coursing through my veins as we began to move rhythmically together, clit on clit, slowly at first then more frantically and faster and harder until we both helped quietly trying to keep quiet so no one would hear. We could hear the chattering in the store and people coming and going from the other cubicles but we were just cumming. Cumming hard together. Our juices exploding on each other in a volcanic heated sexual eruption that rocked us both as we melded together for what felt like hours. As we stilled in our orgasmic aftershocks, we slowed and shuddered until both were satiated and wet with sweat and smelling of each other’s sex. We kissed and she thanked me. We dressed and left the cubicle. oh and I purchased the sexy bra, and matching panties and wore them later for my girlfriend, in front of the mirror at Home... she told me what a naughty girl I was as she spanked me before peeling off my new bra as I licked her out in front of the mirror... I silently thanked the nameless girl in the store for teaching this older girl some new tricks to take home...
  48. 9 points
    Thank you everyone for making Shy such a beautiful place.
  49. 9 points
    Thought the ladies on here may be interested. Deals with some of the topics we discuss on here regularly
  50. 9 points
    I was like you, felt the exact same way. Met a woman, who also felt the exact same way. We would always say although we are each other's number 2s, we always made the other feel like our #1. However, as our relationship grew things changed. We fell in love. We both became each other's #1 and because of that both of our relationships with our husbands suffered. We became so wrapped up in each other that we didn't care about anything else. We spoke of leaving our husbands and starting our lives togerher. We had all these plans and dreams. We got so caught up in it, that we were miserable everyday being apart. Then it all blew up in our faces, that's a whole other story lol! Now moving forward, after experiencing that, I am 100% sure that I will never let anyone (besides hubby) become #1 again. I can now see how amazing having a #2 can be. How fulfilling it can be. It should be enough. Next time it will be. Take it from me, keep thinking like that. Don't let it change. Sorry for rambling on and on.