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  1. 20 points
    I just got what I've wanted for so long. I can still taste her on my lips. I can still smell her. She tastes amazing. She smells amazing. She looked beautiful. The sounds she made. The way she arched her back. The way she looked at me. The intensity of her staring into my eyes and smiling while i could feel her fingers inside me. Everything else faded away. I kept wondering if it was really happening. My bra and panties are still at her house, they're hopelessly lost for tonight. I don't give a fuck because of how that came to be. I have other bras, and she'll find mine tomorrow and remember why it's there. I almost got to fall asleep in her arms. But there were interruptions. She was asleep before the interruptions. (My dog is an asshole and wouldn't shut up... dog, husband and i ended up going home because of that). I only wish i could have fallen asleep in her arms. Held her close. Woken up with her. Gone down on her again in the morning. Saw that face she made again. And before i left, after she was asleep, her fiance thanked me for fucking her. And i thanked him for allowing me to. After nearly 4 years of wanting her... Did this really happen?? Holy fuck.
  2. 19 points
    I just wanted to make a short introduction. Glad I stumbled upon this website. Was being a little douche-y and browsing the forums for a few days before mustering up enough courage to actually sign up. Even though, one can be as anonymous as one wants on here, I am still feeling a bit nervous and cautious. Been married for 14 years with two beautiful children. Absolutely in love with my husband. Feel extremely grateful for my life and all that I've been provided. However, just like a lot of ladies on here (remember stalky me was reading up on you guys?!), I have always felt attraction towards other women since forever. I had casually mentioned that to my husband when we were dating and he had made comments like, "oh too bad, you missed your chance" and "let's have a threesome!" We both knew that was just a lighthearted banter going nowhere. Plus, we are not that adventurous. Over the years, we'd talk about who we found attractive and agreed we had the same type! Again, this was all just talk. He is a pretty straight vanilla guy who just happens to be open minded enough to have chats like that. Him and I have an incredible relationship, he is my best friend and our greatest strength is healthy communication. Well, I had a very honest conversation about wanting to have an experience with a woman before I turned 40. Like a goober, I was hoping he'd give me his blessings and maybe even help coordinate! In reality, that conversation got quite intense and I think at that point, he may have realized that I was serious about it ...I had always been serious about it. He basically said that his biggest fear was that I'd leave him for a woman and he will be devastated. That broke my heart. And I kept reassuring him that, that wasn't going to happen. I have told him several times and I've meant every bit of it, that he is all the man I need or want and what I am curious about is something he can't give me. Our last conversation on this topic ended with him saying that he would like me to be happy and we have one life to live so if I want to experiment, I'd have to do it in secret. He wouldn't be able to be ok with it. I don't want to hurt him but I also agree with him that I should be able to experience what I think will bring me joy. I have found certain people attractive off and on throughout my life. I am finding it to be true more so now than before. I have never been with a woman before but I have a very strong feeling that I will love it provided the stars are aligned and the chemistry is there. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I can't see myself being the initiator. I am hoping it'll all happen organically. That's the only way I can justify it with minimal amount of guilt. Guilt. That's another topic for another day. Sigh. I have NEVER admitted to being bicurious to anyone other than my husband so writing this post has been terrifying as well as liberating. Thanks for reading and thanks for allowing me to be part of this community. I promise to keep my douchery to a minimum! Cheers.
  3. 16 points
    I've known my best friend Kat since college. While I was experimenting with girls, she saved herself for marriage to the perfect guy. They really are good together so I was surprised when she revealed to me that she was not entirely satisfied in the bedroom. He could give her a good dicking though. Guys, she even gave up her ass to him!! And apparently, his fingerbanging skills were top notch, but he would not put his mouth anywhere near her vagina. She gave him head all the time, but it was because she liked doing it as much as he liked receiving it. He's never returned the favor so she really didn't know...but the way he responded differently when she sucked him off made her want the same. She knew I was bi; I never hid it from her, so I wasn't sure why she was telling me this. I could have responded like a normal human, but Kat was gorgeous! And, she just so happened to be talking to me about something I was an expert in. So the words that came flying out of my big mouth were, "Jesus Christ, I'd go down on you in a heartbeat if I had the chance. You're hot as hell!" I instantly regretted it. The truth is, I'd always found her attractive, and I'd had a naughty thought (or two...or three...) about her, but I always feined disinterest for obvious reasons. Yet, there I was...basically telling her that I would fuck her. She took it in stride though and just giggled and moved the conversation forward like it was no big deal. That was 9 months ago. Besides my occasional bouts of feeling like a dumb ass for saying that, nothing about our friendship had changed at all. Fast forward to last weekend. She asked me to travel with her to a jewelry exposition she was having. This was not abnormal, we had taken overnight trips together on several occasions. But not since I said what I said. So the whole time we were driving there, I was being ultra careful that I did not do or say anything to make her think I was lusting after her. Everything was going well until the night after the tradeshow. It was a crazy busy day so we decided to have drinks and relax at the hotel bar. By the time we made it back to our room, we were both tipsy and giggling like teenagers. I headed straight for the shower while she plopped down on the king-size bed to call her husband. She surprised me by coming into the bathroom while I was still drying off in my towel. She undressed in front of me while I was brushed my teeth. She was lingering while naked a little too long so I had to ask her, "Ummm...what are you doing? I'm --" "Relax," she said, cutting me off and gesturing to her body, "we both know I don't have anything YOU have haven't seen before!" and stepped into the shower. She laughed heartily as she closed the glass door. I shrugged as I walked out laughing as well and called out, "Touché!" over my shoulder. So, about that king size bed. It was literally big enough that we didn't have to be anywhere near each other. I slid in on a side and hung out as close to the edge as possible. As soon as the lights were off and were laying there in the dark and silence, my mind started to wander. As I said, she was gorgeous and it was a real treat to have seen her naked earlier. Her tits were the perfect size. Her caramel colored nipples were tiny but erect. Her pussy was bare except for a small patch that was trimmed super low. By now you're probably getting how this whole time I had been overthinking & trying so hard to pretend I couldn't see her that I drove myself to thinking about her non-stop. I lay there fantasizing for a long time. Hearing her steady breathing and assuming she was fast asleep, I brought my hand down and started touching myself as I thought about how delicious she looked earlier. It was slow at first but then I started really getting into it. I realized I was getting carried away so I turned to make sure I hadn't woken her up and oh my fucking god, she was watching me. I don't know for how long, but just knowing that I'd been caught sent my heart racing. She didn't say anything though. She just smiled and bit her bottom lip a little. What she did next shocked me. She slowly pushed her t-shirt up, exposing her breasts. Then she kicked our covers down so that I could see her hand which was now reaching down into her panties. I watched, in stunned silence, as she squirmed beneath her own touch. At this point, I knew that she knew what she was doing to me. I reached into my own panties again as I watched her. Her face took on a look of absolute pleasure as she watched me too. I couldn't stop myself from doing what I did next. I moved and laid on my side right next to her. Even then she didn't stop exploring herself, so I put a hand on her stomach, brought my face to hers, and kissed her. She kissed me back in a way that I can only describe as hungry, like she'd been waiting for my lips for so long. I moved to straddle her as we kissed and suddenly her hands were on my face and in my hair, then on my back pressing me onto her. I pulled away from her to take my shirt off. Her hands then found my breasts and she rubbed over them, gently grazing my nipples. I put my hands on top of hers and squeezed my nipples with her hands. I didn't want her to stop touching me, but there was something I wanted even more. I leaned back down, bringing her arms up over her head and holding them there as I kissed her again. I moved from kissing her mouth to kissing her neck. I could tell she wanted to reciprocate so badly. She was pushing her body hard against mine. I brought my face back up to hers, looked her in the eyes and said, "Keep your arms here. Just lay back and let me..." She inhaled deeply as I let her go and moved down, taking a nipple into my mouth. She let out several whispered Ohs as I teased her nipples back and forth with my hands and my mouth. I kept traveling down, leaving a trail of kisses from her chest to her stomach. I tugged at her panties and she moved to help me get them off. Wow were they soaked through! I continued my descent of kisses, returning to her stomach where I had left off. I knew she'd been craving this next bit for a long while (& if I'm honest, so had I!), so I took my time. I alternated between kissing and rubbing her mound as well as the crest of her closed lips. Whereas she was eager and rocking against me before, she was now calm and breathing deep, anticipating breaths. She yielded to me and allowed me to spread her legs myself. I kneeled between them with my hands on her knees. I took in the full view of her beautiful body in front of me as I let my hands slide down her thighs. I fondled the very outside of her lips with my thumbs, pulled them apart to see the sticky wetness that had gathered there. Laying down, I kissed one of her thighs and kept kissing down and down until I reached her pussy. She was so turned on that my mouth came away wet with her as I pulled back from my first tiny kiss. The first taste of her juices nearly sent me into a frenzy. Part of me wanted to be greedy and devour her. But I kept my resolve and kissed her clit gently at first, reaching out with only the tip of my tongue, then mouthing as much of it as I could, gripping with my lips and pulling it into a deep kiss. I felt her hands on my shoulders. "No touching, remember?" I cautioned her playfully. She brought her hands back up to rest on her head and tousled her hair, whimpering a little in frustrated ecstasy. I teased her like that for a little while, relishing the taste of her as she squirmed and moaned softly. Then I went all in, spreading her pussy open with my fingers and and putting my mouth and tongue all over it. I reached up with both hands and pulled her nipples while I continued to circle my tongue around and around her clit. She was moaning loudly now and I kept at it until my face was messy and her juice was dripping down my chin. I slowed down the intensity and rubbed her pussy with my fingers. She spread her legs as wide as she could and pushed her hips up just a bit as if to ask for more. Finally, pushing one finger in deep and letting it come to rest inside of her, I pushed my tongue down on her clit in a licking, sucking rhythm that took her to the edge. She was moaning very loud and grabbing at the bed sheets. She got louder and louder, screaming as she orgasmed. I liked the sound of that. I put my hands on her waist as her body shook hard and just held my mouth over her clit until the throbbing subsided. When she settled down I crawled back up beside her. She grabbed my face and kissed me, sucking my top lip, then my bottom lip, tasting herself off of them. I thought she would have been ready to settle down but she was instead ready to take what I had denied her earlier. Her hand reached down and rubbed my pussy outside of my drenched panties. She kept fondling until she had pushed my panties far enough aside that there was no longer a barrier preventing her fingers from sliding against my wet folds. She slid down and sucked on one breast as she gently rubbed my clit and dug deeper into my wetness. Her strokes were unsure but she continued to explore me trying to find my hole. I reached my hand down and guided her. Her confidence then grew with every thrust of her finger and at my insistence she gradually inserted another and another. She fingered me for a while before pulling her fingers out of me and putting them in her mouth. She looked right at me, coyly, as she sucked my juices off of her fingers. I turned onto my back and started masturbating, assuming she was not going to go down on me. I couldn't have been more wrong. She pushed my hand aside and brought her mouth down on my pussy and reinterpreted some of the same things I had done to her with my tongue. I reached under my leg and fingered myself as she licked me until I came. She came back up beside me and we kissed a few more times then caressed each other until we fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up to her kissing my shoulder, her tits pressing into my back. She reached under my arm and fondled my nipple as she grinded her pussy against my ass. I turned over and she straddled me. I reached down and pressed against her clit as she rocked against me. I couldn't believe she wasn't freaking out and instead wanted more. So I put my hands under her ass and urged her to sit on my face. I ate her out like that until she screamed again, grinding against my face as she orgasmed. Her tradeshow was from Friday to Sunday, so for three days I fucked her and made her come over and over again. She's tried to find an excuse to be alone with me since. Finally, tonight, after trading dirty pics and sexting all week, she's coming over to (her words, not mine) sit on my face. Mmmmnnnh. I should probably feel used, but I'm loving every minute of it! -------
  4. 15 points
    I am bisexual.. I have always had an attraction to both men and women. I have never been in a relationship with a woman, other than friendship and some crushes.. which left me crushed. I am happily married. I met my husband 6 years ago this month. I was open to a deeper type of relationship at the time and looking to settle down. Our relationship isn't perfect, but we are pretty perfect for each other. - We work together as parents and as a couple which is very important to me. So, why do I feel like I still want to be with a woman sexually? - There are times, when it's an overwhelming sensation.. I can't stop thinking about meeting someone in a similar situation and having a sort of "friends with benefits" - "girlfriend" - I even have a difficult time describing it. So can you have both? Can you be happy in your marriage and still be attracted to women? Is this what being truly bisexual really feels like? A tug of war where you find yourself one day looking at a man and thinking "wow.. he is hot." And then another looking at a woman and think "she is so beautiful or sexy." - although 90% of the time I end of having more sexual fantasies when I see a woman than a man. - Perhaps it's because I haven't been sexually with a woman in so long.. - sometimes I just feel a bit lost.
  5. 15 points
    I have been imagining the kind of relationship I would have if I ever connect intimately with a woman. One thing that often comes to mind is my status in a woman's life. I prefer women who are either married to a man, or are committed to a man. I am very happily married and will always regard my husband as my #1. I seek those who respect that. As much as I would lust for, care for, adore, and possibly love a woman, I don't want to be the most important person in any woman's life. I want to be her #2. I hope that doesn't sound bad or self-deprecating.
  6. 14 points
    I have not been able to stop thinking about what it would be like to be with a woman. I've had these thoughts before but just recently have I actually wanted to know what it would be like in reality. The thought of being naked with another female turns me on so much. I have found myself searching for pictures of breasts often, and thinking about how much I would like to kiss and touch them, and have mine touched by a woman. I'm still not sure I would ever want to really act on it - I'm married - but the thoughts are so good.
  7. 14 points
    I've found a lady who actually understands me. She is decent and loves me and I do with her. We have no secrets from each other and we are true to our word with one another. She's taken the big step of introducing me to her mum and brother. She's never done this before. We've both come from rubbish situations where we are rebuilding ourselves after difficult previous relationships. We are now doing this together. It's early days but all the signs are good for us both. Here's hoping this continues as I've been burned badly before with a woman and it almost destroyed me. For the first time in a long time I feel positive again for the future. Hope it continues.
  8. 14 points
  9. 14 points
    Being married does not make you blind to the world. You still notice people, and you still have needs that a man simply cannot meet because he is not a woman. It has nothing to do with how happy you are with him. I think it's natural as a bisexual person to desire the gender opposite your partner. Not everyone wants to pursue that, but many do, and that's okay. You just need to determine if it works for your marriage. I think there's also the element of the unknown, of not having experienced sex with just you and another woman, which IS a different experience than a threesome. Perhaps had you had that experience before, you might not crave this so much, or maybe you would. It's hard to know. But I think that does play a role. So many bisexual women end up married to men, I think partly out of a desire to procreate (on a more subconscious level) and fit into societal pressure, and then as we get older, we realize how strong the desire is to be with a woman and experience that which we have not. We start realizing that we need to tend to our own desires and live our own experiences while we can. It sounds like your husband is open-minded. You never know what he will or won't be okay with, but you won't know until you ask for what you want.
  10. 13 points
    Oh, labels, labels...how I hate them! In my experience, most bisexual and lesbian women are a combination of 'feminine' and 'masculine', and often unorthodox or non-conformist in various ways. Still, to this day (most recently in California, of all places, in July), people express surprise when I tell them I have a female partner, but only if they don't know me at all...because I am petite, have very long hair, and wear make-up, lots of jewellery, and sometimes 'feminine' clothes. C'mon folks - are we really still totally stuck on stereotypes in 2017?!!!
  11. 13 points
    I couldn't find the book I was looking for in library so I approached the librarian. She was cute in a geeky kind of way. Young too. Her hair in a bun wearing a blouse and knee length skirt and sensible shoes, but a hint of red lipstick told me there was more to her. She was probably in her twenties. I smiled at her and asked for the book I wanted. She smiled. "Come with me!" She winked as she said it. I followed her down the aisles filled with books. Past student beavering away and people trying to find the right book. At the back of the library she opened a door that said 'Restricted section - staff permission needed' and walked in. "This way and you'll find what you're looking for!" Strange! I knew the book I was looking wasn't going to be in this room and yet I felt compelled to enter the room. As I entered the room, she pointed to a shelf on the other side of the room. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was in here. I moved to the shelf and began to scan it when suddenly I realised she was standing right behind me, pushing herself against me, her arms reaching found and grabbing my breasts. "Like I said," she laughed, Come with me!" Before I had a chance to object or cry out, she yanked up my skirt and shoved her hand inside my panties and quite forcefully pushed her finger inside me. I was shocked I was so wet and turned on yet knew I should ask her to stop. "No," I murmured. "Oh yes you dirty little bitch." She whispered in my ear. "You want it. You know you do." She rubbed my wet, swollen clit with one hand and groped my breast with her other hand. "Oh god please stop!" I said. "No way!" She laughed. You're so desperate for a good fuck I can smell it. She turned me to face her. Her mouth on mine. Kidding me hard, still fingering my cunt with a passion I'd never experienced before. Her tongue explored my mouth. I heard myself moaning. Shocked I was responding to her forceful fingering. Scared someone was going to come in. I was getting wetter by the minute. She stopped for a second, stepped back and pulled the pins from her bun, letting her long dark hair fall to the floor and pulling off her glasses and placing them on the nearby table. Then she stepped forward and grabbed my blouse, pulling it hard, pulling the buttons apart and pulling it from my body. Tossing it to the floor. She stared longingly at my bra cover breasts. Ann Summers, sheer and white. I knew she could see my nipples through it. She licked her lips and I felt my clit quiver in anticipation. "Bend over the table," she ordered. "I... I.... I can't," I muttered, "What if....." But before I could finish she'd grabbed me and pushed me over to the table, pushed me forward and hoisted my skirt up and pulled down my panties. She forced my legs apart but my resistance was pretty futile and half hearted. Her fingers back inside me, she dropped to her knees and began to lick my cunt from behind. I cried out as it felt so good. Her fingers. Her tongue. Two fingers. Then three. My wetness audible. I was almost at the point of no return when she stopped and her hand came down on my ass spanking me hard. Two or three times. Her fingers and tongue back. Then each time as I was almost going to climax, the spanks came. I was desperate to come in her mouth and she knew it. After a while of her doing this, she grabbed my hair and pulled me back to standing and turned me around. Yanking off my skirt. Pulling off her own blouse and skirt. Omg! No panties! Just a neatly trimmed cunt. She took my hand and led me to the carpeted area and pulled me to the floor. She parted my legs, kissing me and opened her own as she lay over me finding my cunt with hers. Finding my clit with hers. Our rhythm was strong and hard. How had she known this was what I'd fantasised about for years. Our swollen wet clits loving each other so hard. I felt it rise through me. Wracking my body with a pleasure I'd never felt before as we came together clinging to each other as our clits combined as one. Omg! I'd barely had time to recover and her tongue was there. Between my legs. Licking and sucking my already satiated clit. Straddling my face I knew she wanted the same from me.mi took her clit between my teeth and nibbled as she cried out. I sucked, my tongue flicking backwards and forwards as hers mirrored mine. Coming hard I bucked hard, my hips grinding against her face, squirting hard, as did she and we drank each other's orgasms as we fell together, flicking each other's nipples as we stilled and quietened. A short while later, I left the library with a huge smile on my face, minus the book I went for: amazed by the unexpected fuck I'd found. I vowed I really had to go back and join the library tomorrow as I think I'm about to become an avid reader and library regular... I wondered if the other librarians provided a personal service like that.
  12. 13 points
    I'm horny AF right now, not having sex for going on 4 months. Agh! Soooo, I'm a little reminiscent this afternoon. She's younger than me, very pretty, with blonde hair. She has a firm body, that while thin is on the fuller side of that spectrum. Her small diamond of a nose piercing isn't very noticeable on this evening and she texts me if I'm going to be in the back seat. I'm pulled over on the side of the road, across the street from a church no less. I text her back that I'm a little apprehensive, being that I'm sticking out like a sore thumb on a residential seat. I see her approaching and unlock the doors. She gets in and I ask her how shes's been. She tells me as I caress her inner thigh with my finger tips; we're not wasting any time here and I'm nervous. She's my favorite kisser so far. Just a hint of tongue as things get going. I begin to kiss her neck and my hand works my way to her collarbone, stroking every so lightly. She wants to get in the back, she says, It's more comfortable back there, she pleads. I'm wary, but acquiesce to her invitation. I put the sunshade up to give us some modicum of privacy and we get in my backseat. Getting comfortable, we quickly begin to go at it, making out. I get down to the floor, perched on my knees and pull down her shirt, taking her breasts in my hands and a nipple in my mouth. She's moaning and I feel myself getting wet. She wants me to go down on her, but she doesn't want any digital penetration, which I'm okay with. She slides down on the seat and I take her hips, adjusting her to where I want her, and move her panties to the side. She's not all the way shaved, but nearly there. I kiss around her thighs and then decide to just go for it...I'm worried about someone seeing us...and I spread her legs further apart and start to suck on her clit. A few minutes later, she has both of her hands on my head, pressing my face down to get me to suck harder and deeper. I'm eating her pussy while playing with her nipples. When she cums, I look up and all the windows have fogged over, it's hot, and we both have a glimmer of sticky sweat on our skin. I miss her, lol.
  13. 13 points
    From my experience there's nothing specific you can say to him to reassure him. It's how you behave towards him, the attention you give him, and making him feel like he is still the most important person in the world. None of that is easy and it will take time and effort. My husband was amazing and so supportive at first, encouraging me to explore and reach out. But then I got close to someone and he got scared. A female relationship is intense and can make you question everything when it's new and exciting. The truth is, once you make that strong connection and you know she feels the same for you, it will consume you, and he will see that because he loves you. Therein lies the problem and the threat. The emotional connection that you have with someone else no matter how much you still love him and the the fact that he might lose you because of it. I remember him telling me he felt like he had to fight for me, when all I wanted was for him to be the same as he's always been because he gave me everything I needed from a man. But we've talked a LOT, established my boundaries, what he's comfortable with, and made a special effort to spend time together. She still consumes my thoughts, I've just become better at controlling and hiding it, which means he is happier because I'm more focused on him. It's taking time but we're finding a balance and I suppose I've proved myself to him now that he can see I'm not going anywhere. I wish I had the answers for you, but everyones marriage is different. My personal experience dictates that yes, you will need to let it run it's course and be aware of the signs that he's not coping so you can address it. It might not be easy but I hope you can work it out, find a balance, and enjoy the relationships.
  14. 13 points
    YEs! Yes to all of this. I love my husband and our family immensly but I have also always had crushes on women but nothing ever came of them. right after we had a kid i was so busy with all of that that i forgot about crushes, bisexuality, etc. There was just no time to think of it. But as my kid has gotten older I crushed again a few times. While still being in love with my husband. So yes it's possible. i also have recently found a girl who I am heads over hills in love with, but unfortunately many continents away. But she makes me so happy. So yes it's possible to want both. And it's also possible to have both! ;)
  15. 12 points
    Does anyone else find this a turn on? I love the idea that I'm turning on someone I've never even met via sexy/naughty messages and we are perhaps doing naughty things to ourselves throughout the conversation. I'd love to try phone sex too... The thing is it's safe and you can have a fantastic orgasm without any dating hassles or playing games etc...
  16. 12 points
    Many of us have been in abusive relationships, and it seems each day there's a new thread or post about someone who thinks they might be, so I thought it might be helpful to put a few things together in one place. Whether you're in an abusive relationship, recently freed yourself from one, watching someone you love in one, or something else, this thread can offer something for you. It is and will likely continue to be a work in progress. I invite all members who have some experience with abuse and/or links to resources to post with the hopes of helping other members find health and happiness. I will link some of the threads already on the site with stories of abuse so that they might help others. Please hare how you experienced the signs of abuse, how they affected you mentally, what kept you from leaving, how you got out, and anything else you feel might be relevant and helpful to others. Remember that abuse isn't always physical, and doesn't always become physical. Abuse can be emotional, narcissistic, financial, psychological, sexual, etc. It can include shaming, gaslighting, isolation, violation of boundaries, making you feel trapped, invalidation, minimizing, feeling like you need to walk on eggshells, and many other unhealthy behaviors. Rarely is it all bad, either, which adds to the confusion. In the beginning, it is often fairy tale wonderful, and even as the relationship continues, we catch glimpses of this, just enough to give us hope that things might improve someday. Few would stay with someone who treated them badly 100% of the time, but many of us have stayed even being treated poorly 90% of the time. NO ONE deserves to be treated like this. I will also include some definitions and links as I build up this post. I can add helpful resources to the original post as they come up. Many of the links below are on very helpful sites with lots of other posts, so feel free to click around. Please feel free to create your own threads with questions, as this post is more dedicated to answers and resources. *********************************************************************************** Characteristics of an abusive relationship Excerpt: The relationship may be abusive if one of the partners: Withholds affection or approval as a form of punishment. Criticizes and shouts at their partner, or calls them mean, negative, and hurtful names. Ignores their partner's feelings and insults their beliefs, ideas, and/or values. Lies to their partner to manipulate and control their thoughts. Insists their partner look a certain way. Humiliates their partner in public. Keeps their partner from seeing and having contact with friends and family. Prevents their partner from communicating with others or restricts their means of communication, such as taking away their phone or computer. Withholds resources such as money or transportation. Makes their partner feel guilty if they spend time with other people, thereby isolating them. Puts their partner in dangerous situations, such as driving recklessly, driving under the influence, or abandoning them. Displays violent and threatening behavior, like throwing objects, or hitting, punching, or slapping their partner. Locks their partner out of the house, or traps them in a room. Rapes or sexually assaults their partner, or threatens to do so. Threatens to commit suicide if their partners leaves or confide in someone about the abuse they are facing. Threatens to hurt their partner or their loved ones, including themselves. Threatens to kill their partner if they leave or confide in someone about the abuse they are facing. A person may also be in an abusive relationship if they: Experience fear in their partner's presence, or fear of what they may do to them. Want to leave the relationship but feel as though they cannot. Believe they deserve to be harmed or punished by their partner. Feel guilty or feel like everything is their fault. Are afraid of being alone with their partner. Signs you're in a toxic relationship General info about abusive relationships Narcissistic abuse Signs you've been abused by a narcissist Gaslighting: manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. Signs you're being gaslighted More about gaslighting Isolation Financial abuse Financial abuse from Women's Law MANY helpful links on this site- click around!!! Signs of a sexually abusive relationship Physical and sexual abuse Getting the courage to leave Recovering emotionally Unspoken Secrets about Life After Abuse Rules of No Contact Hoovering and No Contact Gray Rock Additional sites with many helpful articles and links: One Mom's Battle: about divorcing a narcissist, especially if you have kids Narcissisticabuse.com Loveisrespect.org National Domestic Violence Hotline Darkness to Light child sexual abuse Luke 17:3 Ministries Christian-based abuse resources, excellent even if you are not Christian Out of the Fog info and forum about personality disorders Books you may find helpful: Divorcing a Narcissist series by Tina Swithin In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People by George Simon Jr. PhD Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD and Randi Kreger BIFF Response by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. *************************************************************** ShyBi Threads:
  17. 12 points
    I agree it's an interesting article, and it makes a lot of good points. I'm glad you shared it here! I know I really struggled when I shifted to focus on dating women, because men are SO much more aggressive, and that was what was familiar. I couldn't tell if a woman was interested. Even now, the women I've actually had relationships with have had to be VERY explicit with me about their interest, because I just wasn't picking up what they were putting down, I didn't want to "misread signals," etc. I came out at 18 as bi, then at 25 as gay, then 2 years later, opened back up to men out of frustration trying to date women, and ended up married to a guy (who treated me horribly, which is why I am not married to him now). When we divorced, I swore to myself no more men, and it's better for me. I think actually that desire to be romanced, as discussed in the article, is part of how I ended up in such an abusive marriage. He lovebombed me, and after 2 years of loneliness, I was so hungry for it that I skipped right past all the red flags along the way. I didn't grow up recognizing my attraction to women for what it was. I thought I admired certain girls, appreciated the female form, all that, but only in hindsight do I see I actually had crushes on certain girls. I definitely grew up feeling like I needed to be the chased, not the chaser. What I felt for girls was always different from what I felt for guys. I figured what I felt for guys was what there was. I love the egalitarian dynamic between two women. My girlfriend is very butch, and in some ways, definitely takes on a more "male" role in our relationship, but also in other ways, I get to see the difference and how we're on a more level playing field, and I love it. I will say that my coworkers now know her for bringing me flowers to work when she picks me up for lunch! She was married to a woman who ended up leaving her for a guy, who she subsequently married, and that has left her scarred for sure. She was a bit wary of me when she heard I'd been married to a man before, but I am most decidedly gay! My last girlfriend let our relationship fall to pieces over a guy she had met, so I can understand how lesbians, on the whole, are often hesitant to date bi women, and yes, most bi women, as we see all over this site, end up married to men in the end. I think a lot of it is on a subconscious level, that desire to procreate and fit into societal standards, especially if that's what you've grown up with. It takes a lot to feel good breaking free of that and settling into a life that goes against the grain. But for those of us who are only happy that way, it feels amazing.
  18. 12 points
    The first thing you need to do before you leave the house every day is turn your gaydar on. How do you do that? It’s easy. You realize that 1 out 4 people have gay tendencies, whether they admit it or not. So the chances that the cutie pie at the checkout is into girls is actually higher then you think. Even if she hasn’t dated women before it doesn’t mean you can’t be her first. So turn your gaydar on by simply realizing that we’re everywhere. I know, I know, life would be so much easier if we all wore some sign or name badge identifying our sexuality, but we don’t. So get over it and step out of your little box long enough to realize that the girl you’re eyeing may be just as terrified as you, of making the wrong assumption. (from cardcarryinglesbian.com) Basically this is my personal technique for activating my gaydar: I assume that every woman I meet is either gay or at least bi until proven otherwise. That way I don’t close the door to any opportunities that might present themselves. Try it. It works. You’ll find yourself making eye contact more often, letting your eyes linger a bit longer on her lips, looking for signs of her queerness in the way she dresses or moves. You’ll start to get better at this the more you do it. Like anything, having good gaydar takes practice. So before we go any further with how to meet women, let’s work on recognizing fellow lesbians and ladies that may just be open to another woman, regardless of her current label. So my homework assignment for you is to do the following: Next time you’re at any store that you frequent, assume that the cute girl you see is gay. Just pretend that you know for a fact that she is. This doesn’t mean jump her bones in the chip and cookie aisle. It just means to act as if she is. Notice if you feel more comfortable around her? Make more eye contact and see if she holds your gaze, does she look at your lips and then back up to your eyes? But more then her reaction, it’s your reaction I want to know about. Let yourself act as if we live in a world where gay people outnumber breeders. Try not to be so self-contained, self-conscious and cautious all the time. (This doesn’t mean be reckless if you live in an area that you could get stoned for being gay.) I’m talking about a subtle attitude change that will affect the way you relate to other women.
  19. 12 points
    I found shys on a random google search one evening and was soon hooked. I had finally found a place where I could be open about my emotions for the first time in my life! It’s liberating! I have connected with some of the most amazing people who have made me open up (something I really wasn’t used to), they’ve listened to me on my down days (there have been many). We’ve laughed and shared stories and experiences, and every single interaction has made a huge difference to my life and how I’ve handled things along the way. I can’t thank you enough for taking the time to listen to me pouring my heart out even when you had your own problems to deal with so for that I am eternally grateful. One unique lady became very special to me early on. I felt that magnetic pull towards her and I wasn’t sure what or why I felt that strongly, but I did. We hit it off quickly. So much in common, the same interests and desires. Everything just clicked into place. She was all I could think about. We messaged every day and grew closer and closer. We were both open with our husbands, but sadly, they both became very insecure with our connection, which, to be fair, was stronger than either of us had ever experienced before, although we never told them how strong, I guess they could tell. As much as we love our husbands, we grew to love each other too and it consumed and scared us both. Despite their insecurities we had to see each other, with their consent, never crossing the line, and sticking to the firm boundaries that husbands had set. If you were hoping for a raunchy shys story, this isn’t it. It was however, the most romantic and loving relationship I’ve ever experienced with anyone before and I’m fortunate enough to have a best friend at the end of it too. It’s been 11 months since our first messages and we’ve become so close, even if friendship is all we can have. The connection we made is unique and special and I’m a better person when I’m with her. I’m forever grateful to this place for making that possible. So while her husband can’t bear the thought of her being with anyone else, mine is coming around to the idea. The journey I’ve been on with my marriage is a post for another time but he has been truly amazing and in an odd way it’s brought us closer. Lots of communication and trial and error, which has been really hard at times. In the end it all comes down to one simple but crucial point….that he must always feel like he’s my number one priority above anyone else. I neglected him at times and I see that now. He accepts I may have relationships with other women if the opportunity presents itself, as long as he never feels like second best. Sounds simple enough right?? I thought so until I fell in love with a woman. It’s…..intense! I have so much to learn. So this is where I am now, a year later. I finally accepted who I am, I’ve dipped my toes in a world I was afraid of for a long time and found I’m quite at home here. I just need to figure out what I want, and I'm working a little harder on my marriage because he really is an incredible man. Right now this is just a big thank you to the people who set up this wonderful site and allowed a highly supressed bisexual to express herself in ways she never thought possible. I hope it helps others too.
  20. 12 points
    I think the beauty of same sex relationships is that there really is no need for gender roles. Why must anyone be ‘the man’? I understand that there are stereotypical gender roles out there...men should be more dominant, more aggressive etc. But who says that women need someone to be more aggressive? Can’t two truly feminine women share a meaningful relationship without those typical ‘male characteristics’? Personally I like that in same sex relationships we can throw away those roles and rules, and just enjoy whatever dynamic falls into place. And yes I do believe dynamic varies with partners. The fun thing about same sex relationships is that you can play with that dynamic and switch things up.
  21. 12 points
    If you feel like you may not want to be married to your husband anymore, you'll need to work out whether that's because of the failure of your relationship with him as a person, or because of your sexuality. Of course, it could be both, but it's important to analyse the situation, to understand why you feel the way you do, before you make any major decisions. Obviously, your husband's extremely negative reaction to your first experience with a woman, and his attempt to control and possess you by prohibiting you from seeing her again, and by unilaterally declaring that your open marriage agreement is over, will only cause you to resent him in a major way, and ultimately will feed into the feeling that you might want to end the marriage, so you really need to be honest with him about the impact it's having on you. Needless to say, being with a woman for the first time can be an extremely intense experience, and trigger a deluge of emotions that can overwhelm you, so you need to get some perspective on that as well, so that it doesn't cause you to make any irrational decisions. .
  22. 12 points
    So after meeting my amazing other half right here on Shys 3 and a half years ago, this happened on Monday. She became my wife <3 xxx
  23. 12 points
    Mmm... Imo, breasts are one of the things that make life worth living...
  24. 11 points
    Omg. I’m going through a “longing” and “aching” for it stage, right now. I haven’t had sex with a woman since April of last year. I’ve officially created a new record of the longest time w/o doing the nasty. In the meantime, I’ve turned to porn to get some jollies. Lol. I’m absolutely obsessed with real, homemade porn. I LOVE it when I can hear the girl cumming. I love how she rides her face. Ugh. And since I have no one else to share it with in my real life (my straight friends would think I’m prob trying t throw a hint their way): http://www.homemoviestube.com/videos/396813/lesbian-face-sitting.html
  25. 11 points
    Before I knew what had actually happened, I found myself in my car on the way to her house. I think part of me was still shocked, while the rest of me was charged with electricity and anticipation. If you had told me three weeks ago, when we first started to become friends, that we'd end up here, I would never have believed you. But here is exactly where we are. Things had happened pretty quickly, and had taken some seriously unexpected turns pretty quickly. That having been said, I was pulling into her driveway, after almost a week of some pretty heavy text flirting, and my heart was racing. There was no denying it, I was here for sex and she knew it. She wanted it too. We had flirted, we had pretended we were just joking, then we had gotten a little more serious about it. As I walked upstairs to her room, liquor in hand, I panicked a little. I had anticipated this for a long time. I'd never been with a woman, never even touched one in a non professional or friendly way. But I was prepared to touch her, to lick her, to rub her all over. We were both very nervous, taking a couple small shots and smoking a joint and a bowl, talking and nervously laughing with one another, talking about my husband and her ex boyfriend. Every so often one of us would get brave and graze our foot against the other, or rub the other leg, but we were both too nervous to actually make any big moves. Finally she asked me, "Should I turn off the light?", to which I replied "yes please", and she leaned over to shut it off. By the time she was back, my arms were open and lips were ready. We began kissing, and rubbing. I had imagined being with a woman so many times, I had had dreams about what it would be like. This blew me out of the water. Her lips were soft on mine, and she smelled so fresh and feminine. She bit and tugged on my bottom lip in the sexiest way while we were kissing, before moving onto my earlobes, then my neck. As she pushed me a little, onto my back, and pulled herself up she laid her entire body along mine, I could feel her breasts on me as she kissed and sucked on my neck. While she was doing that with her mouth, her hands trailed downwards, feelings my breasts, gently pinching my nipples, rubbing her fingers lightly on my hips, then moving her hand to between my thighs. As she began touching me, as her fingers danced around finding their way, she breathed heavily in my ear as she sucked on my ear lobe, then worked her mouth downwards as well. Everywhere her hands had touched me, her lips followed. Soon her face was between my legs and she was eating my pussy. She licked all over my pussy, and my clit, she sucked in all the right places, licked me somehow rough and gently at the same time. As she did that she worked her fingers inside me with what was clearly an experienced touch. I was in ecstasy. I could feel my body begin to shake as everything I had dreamed of for so long came true. Everything about her was amazing. I laid there and let her eat my pussy, finger me, and rub on me for more than a few minutes, enjoying and relishing the moments as they passed. While it wasn't explosive or earth shattering, I came pretty quickly. After more than a few minutes, she lifted herself up and brought her weight down on top of me and began to grind herself on my hip. Soon she flipped over onto her back and pulled me into a position to be sitting on her face. She ate my pussy again and it felt so amazing, for a minute I lost control and found myself grinding on her face. Maybe it was for a few minutes. Maybe it was for hours. After cumming again, I climbed down and began sucking, licking, and kissing on her ears, her shoulders, her breasts and beautiful nipples . I sucked and pinched on her nipples as I moved my hands down further, finding my way to her pussy and clit. I worked my fingers as I touched her in a way I'd never touched a woman before, while kissing on her breasts. She came, she came twice actually. Squirted all over my hand each time. As a new sensation and something I hadn't expected, I felt proud and turned on that I had been able to please her that much, I enjoyed watching her breath heavily as I kissed her lightly and climbed on top, straddling her. I put one leg outside one of hers, the other in between hers. I placed my pussy just right against hers, then grabbed hold of her hips and began to gently rub my pussy on hers. I spent a few minutes moving slowly, adjusting a little bit at a time, until I heard her moaning get loader. Once I thought I had found the best place for both of us, I grabbed hold of her hips and ground harder. She and I both ground against one another, moaning. As our energy started to wear down, our grinding slowed down, then stopped and I slid off of her and laid down next to her instead. We laid there and caught our breath, then chatted a little, I don't remember now but we may have smoked another joint. I knew I couldn't stay much longer. While my husband knew where I was, with who, and what was happening, I still wanted to hurry home to him. I wanted to make sure he felt secure with what was going on, so that I could enjoy her again. Because after that night, I had a feeling that I would be enjoying her again, and soon.
  26. 11 points
    The donations are still in Paypal untouched for now until 1and1 get back to me tomorrow. If nothing comes of it, and the site closes all will be refunded. I can't thank everyone enough from the bottom of my heart who donated. Truly.. and I hope things are sorted in the next few days. I'll keep you all posted. I'm not long back from a 12 hour shift so apologies for not being able to clarify sooner. A few other clarifications :- Social media is killing off discussion/debate forums and has been for a while now. End of story.. However... women who find us here do NOT want to appear on social media. I understood that from the start and named the site accordingly... and it's also why Facebook/Twitter and all other social media icons are removed from the forum software. Too many are afraid that they share or out themselves accidentally or someone else does and cannot take that risk. Facebook and other media links and referrals are also needed now to rank highly in the internet stakes. But it's really not an option for this site and probably never will be. The internet has moved on since 2005 when this site started. The ethos of this site cannot since it's about being a safe harbour. Once moved we'll still be with the same hosts we've been with since 2009. Like an old mobile phone contract that hasn't been updated and you end up paying far more than new customers for the same or better services,... personal financial difficulties aside.. that's where Shybi has been for the last few years. On a 'bronze' server for nearly £250 a month, when newer clients were on the platinum for much less. I cannot afford £250 a month at the moment the new server is less than half that. The site may well end up moving again... but at the end of the day my appeal went out because whatever happened I did not want the site to end due to a few months financial difficulties. Better things for me are hopefully just round the corner ( new job fingers crossed )... I couldn't just let the site go down to a few skint months and that's why I reached out. Chat rooms etc... well IPB have closed even their own native and fully integrated chat rooms now. Things like that are another area dying off thanks to social media and messenger services. Other things such as 'clubs within forums' and many other progressive features are afoot in IPBoards now. But there's not point in harking back to wishing things were as they were on the net in 2010 or 2013.. Chat rooms etc can surely be done again, but integration with the database and safety is somewhat more problematic these days given that even the forum software makers have given up on them completely. IF things work out tomorrow with 1and1 the site will be ok for a while. I cannot do much about the site's fortunes in relation to Facebook groups and Twitter chats... but I do know for those that find us here and stay for a while, that this site has been worth every penny I've spent on it since 2005. Thanks once again SO much for the donations. They'll be put to the use they're intended within the next few days or refunded in full. Keep your fingers crossed. LF xxx
  27. 11 points
    Absolutely love having sex with clothes on. I find all that rummaging around such a turn on, it works me up like crazy. Especially love when a girl leaves her jeans on & you need to unzip them & part her panties to one side......soooo hot!
  28. 11 points
    I'm married to a man, and I've been with women for 7 years now. I think I joined this site around 7 years ago also. I used to stress and obsess over finding a label for myself, and now I realize I don't need one, or want one. I used to think I wanted a woman as a FWB, and as time went on realized feelings usually got involved for me. I guess what I'm saying is, you may think one thing, until a situation happens, and you might end up surprising even yourself. I've learned so much about myself in these last 7 years! I've eaten my words many times, and I've grown tremendously from my experiences.
  29. 11 points
    Casual sex with likeminded women can be fun and even fulfilling to a certain extent...BUT in my experience, intense sexual chemistry with a woman, which leads to a copious amount of wild, mind-blowing sex - the kind of sex that I would describe as 'spiritual' in nature - tends to lead to falling in love... If the chemistry is there, things don't stay casual for long...and that escalation into the great beyond is one of the glorious things that makes my life worth living...
  30. 11 points
    Sex anyway any time, with or without clothes
  31. 11 points
    Morning sex with a woman presents a delicious dilemma... Women can go forever, so it proves to be virtually impossible to get out of bed...resulting in being very, very late for work...ha, ha, ha...
  32. 11 points
    I wanna fuck myself to thoughts of you. I’m tired, and tipsy, and it seems like it makes thinking of you all that too easy. Thinking of your soft skin and sweet smell; your eyes, your hips, your lips. I wish I could fuck myself to thoughts of you. Not feel guilty that I only had you once and shouldn’t want more. Not feel bad about your fiancé not knowing. I can’t fuck myself to thoughts of you. I want you so much it itches at my flesh, but as soon as my fingers graze my body, I freeze. We’re friends; or at least that’s what we are trying to be. I shouldn’t... We’re a firework that’s been canceled, we’re exhaustion and satisfaction waiting to happen; we’re what’s pretty about war: When it doesn’t happen. I want you. Can’t have you. And, as it turns out, can’t even get myself off to thoughts of you. You’re too close. Too far. Do you ever think of me, wherever you are?
  33. 11 points
    I think it's mega hot to kiss after someone's been going down on me, or vice versa. If she's made me cum hard, I want to kiss her, regardless of my flavor on her. I want to attack her after she makes me cum!!
  34. 10 points
    I've had the most turmoil I've ever had in my life in the past year and a half. I was in a long term relationship which was dead emotionally. I fell in love with a woman who treated me like crap in the end which I didn't deserve after standing by her. That nearly destroyed me. I left my long term partner and stored my entire life away and lived with a friend. I met a beautiful woman 7 months ago and she has been wonderful for me. She has supported me with lots of things and I've done the same with her. We've been living together for about 3 months now and we get on well. Last week I finally got the keys to my new home and I'm dealing with that with her support. Life takes many twists and turns and is hard sometimes. Sometimes someone has that glimmer of light and they are there for you and you for her. I'm now looking forward in life, more than I've done in a long time. I'll get there. Never lose hope or sight of who you are and keep going no matter how hard it seems sometimes. You will get there.
  35. 10 points
    I would love to open up to my husband about my bisexuality. He would be thrilled and would immediately start pressing me for a threesome. Here's the thing...I don't want a threesome. I want the opportunity to explore my sexuality with a woman without a penis getting in the way ;). I'm worried my husband will see this as a rejection. But I don't want to be with a woman behind his back either. Sigh...
  36. 10 points
    It's really pointless to keep discussing the options and possibilities of what can be done until things are more solidified with the server and the site. Once things are stable and in la-femme's control, she can then take into account all the suggestions that have been made and decide from there. Thank you la-femme for all the personal sacrifices that you've made over the last 13 years since the site began. I for one am grateful. I agree with you that you should be careful of who you give or share your admin duties with because it's a position that should come with respect for you as the main admin and willingness to see things from a neutral and objective point of view and only use the harsher measures to moderate if it is deemed necessary, such as filtering out men who try to disguise themselves as women and try to join the site. Also being able to deal with other things that may come up between members. I'm sure when everything becomes more stable that you'll be able to make the right decisions as to who you'd want to help you form an admin team. The good thing about you being the main admin is that if someone does do something stupid but it's not obvious to you, others can see that and make you aware of it, then you can take measures to remove them or just take away their ability to have access to those parts of the site. There's a whole different group of women that are on the site now than even 8 years ago and I'm sure there are some out of the new crew that might be willing to at least moderate. I'm looking forward to where the future leads the site and just a side note, there are those of us like myself, who have stayed with the site through everything and didn't give up on you or the site because it's about loyalty and friendship, not just how it can benefit you but how can it help and benefit others that struggle and have questions about their feelings. Here's to a new and exciting future for you and for the site you created. This is your baby and like all babies the site has changed and grown but it will only get better.
  37. 10 points
    Be honest with him. Being with a woman alone is SUCH a different experience than a threesome. If you cave to HIS desires, it then becomes about him, and you start to resent him. And as @unknown said, you start to feel like you have to perform sometimes. Plus, you don't want to risk him feeling left out, and it's always on the back of your mind, even if for a moment it's just you and her while he sits back. I was married to a man who said ok to me being with a woman if we dated her together. He ended up REFUSING to let us be alone together, which was all I really wanted. It made it REALLY hard. The whole thing ended up really complicated and high drama. My marriage ended a year after we split with her, for other reasons. She and I ended up reconnecting later, and let's just say we had some "unfinished business." I'm glad we did, even though we're not together anymore. I wish it was a freedom my ex could have allowed me, but he has a tendency to make EVERYTHING about him, including this. Now that I am free, I exclusively date women (well, one woman), and it's MUCH better for me.
  38. 10 points
    I just want to show my girlfriend off to the world. I'm so proud to be hers. She's such a wonderful person. Just absolutely amazing. The way she thinks... the things she does... I've never met another person so closely similar to me, but so very much themselves. Trusting me with her heart whenever she needs to spill it out to me. And she does it so honestly and unapologetically, and accepts my heart when it needs to spill as well. She has so much love to give unconditionally. She's so talented and hard-working and caring and rational. God, is she rational. I love it. We have the same love language. We value and appreciate the same things in a relationship. We're playful and clever together. She amplifies everything about me. I love deeper. I laugh harder. I sigh every other second. With her, I'm so much better. She inspires me to be more. And I do the same for her. She flew into my life so unexpectedly, and I showed her the sort of caring and lasting friendship she was longing for. What she's given me in return is too much for words. And I tell her everyday. She tells me everyday. We write letters full of I love you's just to try to capture some of this feeling, but it's just not enough. Her heart is so pure. Her voice makes my knees melt into the pavement. She has me wrapped around her finger and there's no one I would trust more to do so. Barely any time has passed, but I feel like I know her so well. I feel like I've known her for ages. Like she was a part of me that I never knew was missing and now I can't live without. As many times as I've been in love before, this is so much more. She loves me as much as I love her. We were once the only ones putting effort into our relationships and now we are both putting our effort into this relationship equally. Neither of us is used to it, and both of us appreciate it so much. There's so much that can be felt from a single caring action. We understand that. It's the little things that matter. I just needed to spill this out to someone. It's so difficult to contain how happy I am about her.
  39. 10 points
    For many years I played the role of dedicated wife and mother. Twenty six years and five children later, I found myself at a crossroads. I could stay with a man I no longer loved, keeping the 'perfect' family unit together.Or take the tough, scary step and leave.I chose the latter and it was the right decision.That was a year ago.On reflection, the past year has been, in the main, an exciting and refreshing one.I have met some interesting(and some not so interesting!) people, enjoying good company and also enjoying my own company, my own space...when I needed to.Recently, I've made friends with a woman and she has awakened a sleeping giant within me, that I never knew existed.The feelings that she evokes are stronger than any I've ever felt towards a man.Its exciting and beautiful, if a little overwhelming.I am at the start of a new and very different journey and who knows where it will lead, where I will be or how i will feel, this time next year.For now, I am enjoying the moment and open to all life's possibilities.The next chapter will be written when its ready.When I'm ready!
  40. 10 points
    Actually, continuing on from my previous comment, my form of bisexuality seems to be the exact opposite of the women here who can’t see themselves in a ‘romantic’ relationship with a woman. I am sometimes sexually attracted to particular men, and in the past had romantic relationships with men, but never fell in love with one, or wanted to seriously commit to one...which meant that the relationship was really just all about sex and other forms of fun... But, ultimately once I finally admitted to myself that the sex I had with men, although enjoyable, was totally inferior to the sex I had with women, and that I preferred women in every way, I then decided that there was really no point in continuing to see men, and have lived my life as a lesbian ever since. Despite the fact that most men have absolutely no problem objectifying women, in one way or another (often without even realizing that they’re doing so), some of my male lovers accused me of objectifying men, because they knew I preferred women and had no intention of becoming more serious about our relationship (moving in together, or getting married)...and I did wonder if that was actually true. Was I objectifying men by conducting affectionate sexual relationships with them, but not falling in love with and committing to them? In the end, I decided that it was a matter of expectations, but that most men (and people in general) expected more, so, if not unethical, at the very least, for me, it wasn’t really a practical way to live. Now, like @FlaGrl08, the originator of this thread, I see that there are quite a few women here on Shy, most of whom are married to men, who are attracted to and desire women sexually, but for one reason or another, claim that they cannot see themselves in a romantic relationship with a woman...and, at the risk of being burnt at the stake, I wonder if this is just a way of managing their own expectations with regard to their desires (i.e. choosing not to desire what they believe they cannot have, or what could potentially throw their heterosexual marital life into chaos). While, of course, human beings embody every possible variation of sexuality and way of being, and I believe that, bar those that harm others, we must all accept that, I must confess that reading these posts I sometimes get angry and want to shout out, ‘Don’t you think women are objectified enough in this world, without contributing to the objectification of each other? Please do us all a favour and stick to men!’ But then I get a grip, and just think, well ‘different strokes for different folks’...and what goes on between two consenting adults is their own business. Clearly, some women don’t mind being objectified in that way (and, in fact, enjoy being objectified in more extreme ways, for example, in the context of BDSM)... It’s a point of contention - to such an extent that some members of Shy have actually left because they found it unacceptable or distasteful - but one that I can live with, as long as we’re not talking about using and abusing women, like so many men do (which is all over the news right now, as it should be). HOWEVER, having said that, I have to admit that I find it impossible to understand how anyone could possibly confine their interest in and desire for women to the purely sexual, as if erecting an artificial boundary between the body and the emotions contained therein, when there is so much more to experience and enjoy, and the potential for the most intense and fulfilling forms of intimacy imaginable with another woman... How can they resist?
  41. 10 points
    At this point of not having any in ages... I'd take sex morning, afternoon, night, right before brunch, after the Winter Solstice, on a Thursday... anytime I could get some!
  42. 10 points
    for me the answer is yes. it is an amazing yet challenging and painful thing to experience. in my situation, i’ve been with my husband for 20 years, married 9. i grew very close with a female friend who is also married. i always identified as straight so when this happened it hit me like a ton of bricks. at first there was a lot of NRE and lust, but over time that transitioned into love. fast forward 15+ months and there is no doubt it is love and it is mutual. in a way it was easy to go from loving her (as a friend) to being in love with her (yes there is a distinct difference). these feelings challenge me every day, especially when things aren’t great with my husband. in terms of leaving, i’m not quite there yet but can vision a life together with her. most things that people need to check off in the life compatibility department are already checked off with her and I. i’ve made the decision tho, if i leave my marriage it will be bc we no longer work, not bc of her and i’ll need time to determine if a public relationship with her is something we are both ready to face. We are not there yet but the path keeps opening to get there if we want (one day). for now, it remains this very private, emotional journey that we are on together and figuring out step by step.
  43. 10 points
    I've done the same...I was about to turn 34 when my lightbulb came on, but now that I see the light, it's easy to look back and see all the signs. Now I'm thinking WTF....how could I have missed that...it couldn't have been any clearer if it were plastered on my forehead. I was so programmed into believing that being straight was the only option, that I had blinders on to everything else. I wasn't able to see crushes for what they were. If I could have a conversation with my adolescent self, I'd say..."no you idiot, straight girls don't think about making out with other girls...you're not straight...who cares"
  44. 10 points
    I've learned my lesson. Many times over. Unless someone outright tells me they are interested I am not reading any flirting into any of that.
  45. 10 points
    I was at a party and a girl from work, who I had been getting heavy vibes from, and was a lesbian and out to me was there. As the wine flowed our eyes met more and more. She whispered to meet her in the bathroom so we did. She pressed me up against the wall and explored me intensely enough that I was hungry for more. When everyone left I found a reason to stay the night and so did she. She was gentle and loving and very generous and it lasted all night. Our next rendezvous was a few days later and we both were very active participants-I learned everything from her that afternoon and I just trusted my instincts even though I wasn't sure if I could please her the way she was used to. She knew it was my first time with a woman so she was sweet. We had one more rendezvous at my house-a strap on was involved-which was different for me since I had never used any type of toy. My relationship with my fiancee at the time was precarious as he was with another man as well so we had to end our amazingly intense whirlwind. I still think about her today and that was 20 years ago.
  46. 10 points
    I was married about 4 years and we went to a martini bar with a friend of ours. Both my husband and our friend Mike kept saying our cocktail waitress was hitting on me. Whatever...boys and their imaginations! So I got up to go to the bathroom and she walked in shortly after. Coincidence I was sure of it, washed my hands and went back to our table. A couple more martinis and another trip back to the bathroom but this time she stopped me short of walking in and made small talk, told me she liked my outfit and then followed me in. When I came out of the stall she was standing by the door. There was another woman in the bathroom with us and she washed her hands and left. Okay, it was obvious at this point. I washed my hands and as I was walking out, pretty nervous at this point, she stopped me, kissed me and then handed me her number. Needless to say I drank a few more before we left... i really didn't know what to think and it was a little over a month before I had the courage to call her. She was a lesbian and had no problem easing me into a whole new world with her. She never pushed me and she said I could set the pace....like I knew what in the hell my pace was! Sometimes I was completely scared and confused by the whole thing and other days, when I didn't over think it, it was amazing. I will say initially I had a harder time giving than receiving but I got over that pretty quickly when I realized she was not "judging my performance".
  47. 10 points
    My name is treelover, and I am a cheater I have a very different experience of cheating. When I joined here a couple of years ago, I was a Christian, monogamous and still convinced that cheaters are the worst people in the world. I almost crossed a line with a friend at that stage and felt horribly horribly guilty for it. But over time I realised that the way I've been practising my faith only caused guilt and anxiety. I've taken a bit of a break to figure out what I want. I guess at a later stage I'll find my way back into the Christian fold... Probably with a lot more compassion for those who badly fuck things up. My thinking about marriages has also shifted significantly. Before this, I have never really focused on what I want for myself, in life. I've been the good girl, toeing the line, pushing some of my significant needs to the background. I have a lovely family and a successful career to show for this restraint. But at age 40 I know there must be a more creative way of living my life. If I don't figure out what I want and look for safe ways of getting my needs met, I only have myself to blame. Then, I met an amazing woman, whose only fault is that she lives 8500 miles away. After a lot of renegotiating boundaries in my head, and starting conversations about bisexuality and non monogamy with my husband (that went nowhere), I came to a place where I decided to take this for myself. I want this, and fuck everyone, especially my judgmental younger self. I became involved in an affair. An amazing, wonderful, exhilarating life altering, beautiful affair. With an amazing woman. What a stroke of magical luck! I am trying to go about it in an ethical manner. I was upfront with my girlfriend, I am ready to face any consequences with my husband, should I ever be found out. I have become the person that, ten years ago, I would have judged very severely. But I'm trying to be good while betraying my husband. Surprisingly enough the world has not come to an end. I have not become some reprobate. I still care very deeply for my husband and I'm very committed to sorting stuff out between us to ensure that our relationship continues to work. I'm happier and more content. I love my life even more. And I've made peace with it all. Of course I would have preferred to have my other relationship out in the open, but it isn't an option. And disclosing is probably something that I need more than my husband does. So as contrived as it might sound... I'm having a clandestine relationship. Keeping it hidden works for everyone. Having it benefits everyone. I have no regrets.
  48. 10 points
    I agree with all this here. Going on my personal experience I was surprised how involved I was in the act itself, and also how connected I felt. With my previous relationship with a man I never felt like I was there half the time. Maybe I zoned out, maybe I just didn't like it, but I always felt distant like I was waiting for it to be over because I got nothing out of it. For the first time all my attention was on her, I was wrapped up in the moment. I felt like it was a very mutual experience. Of course I was inexperienced and as Allie said it's a learning curve at first but I was surpised how quickly I figured it all out. I was actually getting something amazing from sex and that shot my libido up tenfold. I'd avoid sex previously, now I was craving it because I finally understood why people wanted it so much. I do believe it was partly because she seemed to know exactly how to make me feel amazing and partly because she was a woman, which definitely turned me on more. The connection is something I've never experienced before with anyone else. I also enjoyed the newness of soft skin against mine, no hair or stubble scratching me. That was incredible. Even her smell was intoxicating which is also something id never experienced with men. It all added up to an incredible experience. I feel like I'm constantly learning new things and new ways to make it better too, it's not the same old routine. I was definitely scared of being naked in front of a woman. I felt maybe I'd be more judged or they wouldn't like how I looked. But i was made to feel more comfortable naked than i ever was my whole life. I was also worried about whether I'd like oral, it was one of those things I always thought about over the years. That even though I was attracted to women would I be able to go through with that. My lack of confidence in that made me feel like maybe it was just curiosity and sex would never happen because kissing was the only thing I felt comfortable with. Safe to say that when I met her that all changed, I was the one making all the moves. Which was a huge surprise to me. Anyway didn't mean for this to be so long, but I've had a mostly positive experience with sex with a woman. I've learnt to be more giving in the act as well as be more involved. Which has lead to incredible sex. There's been a few hiccups along the road because I was so new to it but it didnt take long to fix them. Loving the topic Shei
  49. 10 points
    How right it felt even though I'd been taught it was wrong, how tender and loving it was, how much different it felt from my experience with boys, how luscious her kiss was..how I never wanted it to end.
  50. 10 points
    Know how you feel. Some days I think, oh well, never going to happen, get over it. Other days, I've thought about it all day long. Doesn't seem to be an answer. Don't want to destroy my marriage, but deeply curious.