jxw

Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
  • Content count

    902
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1,289 Excellent

About jxw

  • Rank
    Village Idiot
  • Birthday 12/09/1970

Profile Information

  • Music
    Rick Springfield, Arctic Monkeys, Peter Gabriel
  • Location
    Connecticut, US
  • Interests
    computer programming, video games, guinea pigs, hydroponics, Marvel comics
  • Favourite Book
    The Demolished Man by Alfred Bester
  • Favourite TV Show
    Sense8, Orphan Black, QI (Quite Interesting)
  • Favourite Film
    Better Off Dead

Recent Profile Visitors

1,208 profile views
  1. I'm too old to have been in on the original Pokemon craze in the 90s, but I love Pokemon Go. It's great exercise if you're in an area that has good clusters of Pokestops. It's easy to meet all sorts of people you normally would never have considered talking to. The game is a lot more frustrating if you live in an area like mine where Pokestops have a lot of distance between them. I've found that airport terminals are fantastic places to play if you're traveling. I recently spent some quality time in the Seattle area on the Puget Sound where I caught a Squirtle, a Charmander, an Omanyte, a couple of Kabutos, and a Pikachu!
  2. The first thing you do is think about what you want. Not what S wants. Not what the kids want. Not what other people in your life want for you. Not what you're suppposed to do based on society's rules. You list all of the ways that S said that you had let this relationship fail. I don't believe it, not based on what you wrote. You care too much for that to be true. Sure, no one is perfect, but you alone cannot take responsibility. You do the best you can. If it's not up to his standards, that's his problem. S sounds like he'd like to have his cake and eat it. He's got a good thing going here. He gets to live with you, sleep in your bed, be with the kids as much or as little as he likes, be unaccountable to you, and blame you for anything that is less than perfect. Now he'd like to go further (presuming he hasn't already) and have relationships with other people. This is not what an open relationship is supposed to look like. Everyone in polyamorous relationships should at least feel respected. You deserve better than this, much better. So the question isn't what do you do? It's: what do you want?
  3. Apparently Lesbian Island, Gay Island, Bisexual Bay, and Asexual Sky Nation, at least according to this Tumblr.
  4. Can someone explain to me why we're attacking Straight Island? What did they ever do to us? Shouldn't we be attacking the idiotic government who thought this island idea up in the first place instead? It reminds me of this:
  5. Bisexuality is big tent. It covers all of the gray areas of attraction that aren't heterosexual or homosexual. That's a lot of incredibly diverse territory to cover. One of the more fascinating aspects of bisexuality is the way it challenges so many assumptions we have about how relationships are supposed to work, what they look like, and how they're valued. I call bisexuality the other side of the coin from trans as far as how it collides with societal expectations. For many trans people, their difference is outwardly apparent, at least for a portion of their life. OTOH, bisexuality is all about feelings which can't be seen. Bisexuals are judged to be heterosexual by default unless in a homosexual relationship. We have to practically constantly advertise our sexuality if we're to be considered "out". To your point about people coming on shys looking for threesomes or hook ups... I presume you're speaking more about those looking for advice on how-to rather than trying to use shys as a dating site. IMO this is one of those things that bisexuals run into real quick when they're trying to figure out how bisexuality fits into their life, particularly if they're in a heterosexual LTR. All of us are taught one model for how legitimate relationships are supposed to work: heterosexual and monogamous, preferably for the long haul. Anything else is immoral and defective. Once we acknowledge our homosexual feelings, we want to go out and test ourselves and learn more about ourselves. But we still hold on to those old relationship assumptions. We'll bend on monogamy as long as it's with a woman based on the assumption that it can't compete with the existing "primary" heterosexual relationship. I think this can open the door to believing it's not technically being poly. There's nothing wrong with being poly, but the notion of seeing same sex relationships as being less than heterosexual relationships troubles me. Seeing relationships as a zero-sum game is also troubling. The truth is each relationship based on attraction is unique. Some are heterosexual. Some are homosexual. They vary in how much or little romance they have. They vary in how physical they are. Sometimes they're one night stands. Sometimes they last many, many years. They can surprise us in how they satisfy us or leave us wanting. They need not crowd each other out.
  6. The dynamic you describe sounds a lot like this guy didn't have to put a ton of energy into this friendship when you were crushing on him while still getting something out of it. He probably was a bit flattered by your crush, even if it did put him in the awkward position of not feeling the same way. Now that you've pulled back, perhaps he misses your chats. He may even miss feeling flattered. I'm glad you returned his texts. It's at least polite since radio silence could make him wonder what he did to get on your bad side.
  7. Would you want to know if a friend used to have crush on you years ago but never told you? How do you think you'd feel when you found out? Edited June 29: Would it make a difference if your friend was someone you could never ever recipriate those feelings?