Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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    United Kingdom

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About softfruit

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Profile Information

  • Music
    songs are playing in my head almost nonstop
  • Location
    Manchester, UK
  • Interests
    Radio 4 Extra. Strawberry cider. Recording queer history. Meeting other bis in real life rather than just online. Writing for bi/queer magazines. Being flirted with through the medium of bacon sandwiches. Helping other bis follow the path to working out who they are a little more easily than it happened for me. Being flirted with through the medium of bacon sandwiches. If I say it twice maybe someone'll take a hint :D
  • Favourite Book
    At the moment: "Just One Damned Thing After Another", or "Here Lies Arthur".
  • Favourite TV Show
    Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
  • Favourite Film

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. Hello Pinkfish (another Manchester person!) Hope you find some of the threads round the forums interesting. If not, start some -- it keeps the forums lively and more people will get an idea of what you're like as a person so you're more likely to make friends here that way I think
  2. That's good to read wb!
  3. A friend likes to talk about trans people being the 'canary in the coal mine' of human rights. The people who whip up fictional fears about what will happen if trans people can pee in peace have been honing their tactics in that battle and are already aiming their fire at other minority rights here, I figure it's similar over there. Once you've picked off trans people by denouncing them as predators who shouldn't be allowed in public facilities you go for the queers, who are obviously also just waiting for an opportunity to pounce on someone of a similar gender as they unsuspectingly change after a swim; then they move onto reproductive rights. That's the three steps I've seen in the UK, but I'm sure it won't stop there. It's a noxious "you should be normal, we have decided what normal means" agenda and we need to be watchful. But also not to give in to despair: they are fighting so hard because we have managed to get a lot of change and their vested interests are threatened. We can win.
  4. The Cabin in the Woods. Everything Joss Whedon couldn't do to Buffy cos it was a teatime teen show... I mostly laugh at horror films, in part thanks to that Eddie Izzard routine about "why don't the people in horror films listen to the music?" but that one was like it second-guessed all my "hah, obviously..." with fresh twists. There was some zombie film, I forget what, that I saw at the cinema about 4pm on a Sunday so leaving the cinema, town had gone from bustling with Sunday shoppers to daylight but spookily empty and 'suddenly' shuttered. Not part of the film but neatly unsettling
  5. It's easy for those of us who live in cities with regular bi meetups and events to forget what it's like in more isolated places. I'm sure the BiNetUSA map has bi things in Texas but they might be a long way from you. On which note though, it's a bit of a hike from Texas but have you heard of the Because conference in Minnesota? A few hundred bis get together each year for a long weekend with daytime programme of talks and suchlike and (optional I think) evening entertainment & socialising. It might be just the thing!
  6. "does anyone else get road rage while grocery shopping?" Sometimes. Christmas, mostly. That and when people shop in couples and one goes queues at the till while the other carries on round the shop to get things - so unfair on single shoppers, the damn cheek of it! GF has it in spades every time though. I'm a much more happy shopper...
  7. Femmes are the ones to turn my head in the street; but the people it actually works out with for dating tend to be more tomboy. (Though they probably would all pick a different label than that, or reject such things, I'm going with the shape of categories of the original post)
  8. "Do men or women make better lovers?" indeed. It's like asking whether taller lovers are better, or if green is better than orange. The people who have been really into me and vice versa made better lovers. The people who got me. The people who had the right kind of overlap of - what euphemism shall we use - bedroom tastes. Gender - even just amongst the big-ticket two - is just not a reliable predictor of that.
  9. York Pride bi tent actually even busier than last time. Amazing! More volunteers on the stall too, which made that manageable. If you're hoping to go to a Pride and can help out for an hour or two (and are OK talking to loads of strangers!) then the local bi groups stalls can usually benefit from an extra pair of hands.
  10. Wondering about going to York Pride this weekend. I was there last year and the bi stall was super busy all day so maybe North Yorkshire's where all the bis are hiding....
  11. This Saturday there's a day of bi-related talks at Durham Uni. It's open to everyone though it is in a uni building (sometimes I've tried to go to things and been turned away cos I didn't have a student card - apparently not a problem here!) - all organised by the student bi+ group. I do wonder if you're over say 35 you might feel a bit like a fish out of water surrounded by teens and twentysomethings though. There's a little bit more about it here.
  12. Maybe find a nearby BiPhoria or a Bees or similar bi meet? August is still a wee way off.
  13. Totally. Hard to expect straight people to respect our sexualities if we don't give the same back!
  14. Oh my, it's so long since I saw this in the real world! I started hanging out on the gay scene at the start of the 90s just as this was tailing off as an underground code thing. I just used to wonder how in dimly lit shady bars people could tell if someone was wearing this or that specific nuanced shade of a colour!
  15. Ah that old one. Doesn't live up to its headline, as it almost immediately admits 26% of 'straight' women are only sexually responsive to men. It is possible almost everyone, or almost everyone female, is bisexual. I suspect it is more about how sex and sexuality is presented in our society and that a degree of sexual responsiveness is about socialisation.