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Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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    United Kingdom

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266 Excellent

About softfruit

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Profile Information

  • Music
    songs are playing in my head almost nonstop
  • Location
    Manchester, UK
  • Interests
    Radio 4 Extra. Strawberry cider. Recording queer history. Meeting other bis in real life rather than just online. Writing for bi/queer magazines. Being flirted with through the medium of bacon sandwiches. Helping other bis follow the path to working out who they are a little more easily than it happened for me. Being flirted with through the medium of bacon sandwiches. If I say it twice maybe someone'll take a hint :D
  • Favourite Book
    At the moment: "Just One Damned Thing After Another", or "Here Lies Arthur".
  • Favourite TV Show
    Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
  • Favourite Film

Recent Profile Visitors

2,778 profile views
  1. softfruit

    Bi event in Wales!

    I'd love to be there but it's like a five hour train ride each way. Hope you have a fabulous day out @almocado
  2. I find it a little off-putting but the bottom line is I never manage to pull women with long nails like that anyway! Maybe I put less effort in unconsciously? At the same time there are clawing-down-your-partners-back type reasons for long nails, and depending where you are in life some of us can mix'n'match rather than needing consistency as part of your professional look. And I think hands that work both ways is a very bisexual look The bi youth group I used to go to, you could pretty much tell who was right- or left- handed in bed by which hand had short nails and which had long!
  3. I notice since I started watching things like this (where I'm totally dependent on the subtitles) on Netflix, it suggests more and more of them to me in a feedback loop. I think their algorithms have concluded I can speak every language on earth!
  4. softfruit

    Bi event in Wales!

    I see BiFest Wales is back on in Swansea again in May. Never been, but it looks good... day of talking about bi related things and evening of music. I'd be more the day person, really, but each as suits them
  5. The Oscars this week saw two actors win for playing bi characters - but they were (so far as I can tell) straight actors, even if Colman talks very effusively about her female co-stars. Malek even called the bi guy he played gay in his acceptance speech. Sometimes I wish we had more bis playing bis... I think we might do talking about ourselves afterwards better!
  6. softfruit

    My first time!

    Woohoo! I think that's a big Bi-Five from everyone here.
  7. softfruit


    I hear this quite often from unicorns @gwnanc - though I've never been the unicorn myself I can imagine it's depressing over time, almost like being "guest genitalia" rather than a three-dimensional human. Easy to slip into for the couple I suppose as they are likely to spend more time thinking about how great a threesome would be, rather than having spent that time thinking how amazing a threesome with you would be.
  8. Yeah. That bit at the start of Romeo and Juliet where Benvolio offers the advice to stop fixating on your crush and "examine other beauties" is the only good advice here I'm afraid. She's straight, she knows you think she's a dish, but she doesn't feel the same, and she's sadly never gonna feel quite the same about you flirting at her as she will about those guys.
  9. Cheating. And - bit of a soap-box moment - for my money, if your guy is ok with you sleeping with a woman but wouldn't be ok with you sleeping with another man - he's sexist and homophobic and biphobic, as he is saying that sex with women is less 'real' and same-sex relationships are less valid or meaningful... and in going along with that kind of a rule you're joining in perpetuating sexism and LGBTphobia.
  10. There's this thing I like to call the "bisexual burden" compared to being gay -- when we come out we are usually asked more questions than if someone comes out as lesbian or gay ("so which do you prefer? Do you more often date women or men? Which do you think you'll settle down with? So you're [x] really.") and for those of us who are single or monogamous or even poly but dating several people of the same gender there's more sense of our sexuality being erased and forgotten over time - you used to be bisexual but you're with this person so you 'picked a team'. So while it's very much a personal thing and depends on your social circle's attitudes and so forth, on average and in the UK/US/Canada sorts of places - I think being bi is tougher of the two.
  11. Thanks for the link kudos to the journalist too, it must be (totally understandably) really hard to get people to talk about living that way.
  12. softfruit

    Kindle V's Books

    I prefer paper. But... The one thing that is swinging me toward e-books, and indeed audiobooks, over paper at the moment is that I've discovered the phone / ipad app from my local library that lets me take e-books and audiobooks out and read / listen to them, over the internet without ever making it into a library branch. With so many libraries having shorter hours or being closed, being able to get stuff from wherever I happen to be is a real boon. Plus when something's already out on loan, you can reserve it and when the previous borrower returns it, it just downloads straight to the phone.
  13. softfruit

    Over in the boys' corner

    It's been taken offline again as part of our Generous Host's work to get our Shys site back online recently. A friend at the local bi group is already complaining about not having a forum to go to! I wonder if it's gone for good this time? (But I can't find the original post about this site's revamp to ask a question in the right place)
  14. softfruit

    Board Games :)

    How do people feel about "legacy" games? If you've not tried them it's boardgames where the result of playing the first game changes what it says on the cards, can mean the board changes or you rip up certain cards and can never use them again, so whether you win or lose one time changes what the game is like to play every time thereafter. I've played Pandemic Legacy 1 & 2 last year and for all we get a lot of play time out of them, it feels wrong to be ripping up / changing the playing cards and things. I think it's a mix of growing up poor and not being able to afford to replace things if I destroyed them, and eco-guilt about throwing away parts of a game rather than reusing them.
  15. softfruit

    Android Or Apple?

    I'd be on Android, but my fiance is an Apple fangirl and the "family sharing" thing means all the apps she buys I get to have for free...