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Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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    United Kingdom

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About softfruit

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Profile Information

  • Music
    songs are playing in my head almost nonstop
  • Location
    Manchester, UK
  • Interests
    Radio 4 Extra. Strawberry cider. Recording queer history. Meeting other bis in real life rather than just online. Writing for bi/queer magazines. Being flirted with through the medium of bacon sandwiches. Helping other bis follow the path to working out who they are a little more easily than it happened for me. Being flirted with through the medium of bacon sandwiches. If I say it twice maybe someone'll take a hint :D
  • Favourite Book
    At the moment: "Just One Damned Thing After Another", or "Here Lies Arthur".
  • Favourite TV Show
    Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
  • Favourite Film

Recent Profile Visitors

2,939 profile views
  1. softfruit


    Welcome aboard! There's loads of people here sharing their bi journeys, dive in to the rest of the forums
  2. softfruit

    Messaging etiquette

    I'd imagine, without having done any study at all, that the short burst conversations are more likely to be with someone who has just signed up for the site and then wanders away for one reason or another. Though in most forums and messaging things from here to facebook messenger there is the frustration that you see something, take it in, can't reply right away and then it gets buried in other messages before you get round to it. That's probably where most of my online communications with people fall down...
  3. Ever since she learned to do the thing with her face I've thought Arya would be the winner in the end. Whoever you think you've put on the iron throne, they'll peel off their face mask and turn out to have been Arya all along.
  4. softfruit

    Bi event in Wales!

    How'd it go?
  5. softfruit

    Really Confused

    I know so many bis who have come to realise only after a long time that they are bi - what I think of as the "I thought everyone had these feelings" moment of realisation. It is amazing how well we can delude ourselves! I guess there are two things in play here making you focus on what happened: that it is making you think of yourself as different, and that it's something that didn't happen... so often what didn't happen is more fascinating a thought than what did!
  6. softfruit

    Curious to know where you are all from!

    Adding a third Manchester, England to the list
  7. softfruit

    Blind Date Blunder

    From various press reprots (which granted may not be accurate, I've read a lot of nonsense in the papers over the years!) they didn't know til they got there and the hotel staff kindly advised them it was better not to do that sort of thing.
  8. softfruit

    Professor Marston and the Wonder Woman

    It is a yummy film! The sexy bits are delish, and I found the tensions of life in a thruple especially in those days were explored well. Because I wander off into thoughts about fetishisation of white hot girl on girl action relationships between women I did wonder whether Hollywood would have been as willing to invest in it if it had been an FMM not FFM triad, though. I guess the answer to my wonderings is Kinsey. Thanks for posting about the book @celeste teal - does the story as told there differ much?
  9. One of the things that came up at my local bi talky space last night was the story about Blind Date. It's a dating game show on UK television where the couple that match get sent somewhere on a date - it can be a rubbish one like both going to their local KFC or it can be something a bit more fabulous. Anyway last weekend they had their first bi edition - bi picker selecting from three bi people as potential dates - and the pair that wound up matching was two guys (sorry, should've said spoilers!) and their date prize was a romantic weekend away... ...in a country where sex between men is illegal. Which it seems nobody mentioned til they got to their hotel. I'm just reeling. In 2019 how could TV producers make such a huge and potentially life-threatening mistake?! Especially when you're doing your first show with a bi lineup (and several of the big names associated with the production company are well-known gay men) so you would surely be taking more care. Just. Wow.
  10. softfruit

    Breakups and Biphobia

    And I'm always mystified at how eg a woman being cheated on by her girlfriend having sex with a man is somehow supposed to be "worse". Ya got cheated on, your relationship maybe imploded or exploded, it's heartbreak whichever way... if you ever saw your lover as more than some genitalia, why can't you understand their new lover as more than some privates on legs too?!
  11. softfruit

    Breakups and Biphobia

    Yep. I think it's the tip-of-the-iceberg problem that we have with perception of bisexuality among many monosexuals. The bis people notice - because all the other bis get erased away into assumed straightness or gayness - are the ones in multiple relationships with people of many genders, and the ones who either cheat with someone of another gender, or break up with a woman and are next dating a man, or break up with a man and are next dating someone enby, or what have you.
  12. softfruit


    Welcome aboard
  13. softfruit

    North East here

    Welcome back
  14. When they've hit Like but not messaged I think it's fair enough - OKCupid runs its instant matching thingy that focuses heavily on photos and only shows a few words from a profile so I'd say people are encouraged to go on looks there. It kind of reminds me of the old hotornot website which was purely about scoring people out of 10 with nothing more than a photo to go on (I think if you both gave each other a 10 it maybe put you in touch but this never happened to me!) In those cases it's not really them, but how OKC games its website in order to squeeze some money out of you. If you click 'Pass' on them does it take them off the number of people on the star of how many people are interested? The folk who click on through to your profile, read lines like "only looking for women" and "not into threesomes" and go "I'm a straight man, that trumps that!" however... bunch of rudewords.
  15. I've a friend I was talking about this with the other day, who combines a harness with a feeldoe to get the internal pleasure and combat the tendency to slide out This isn't a thing where there's a simple rule though - a @J-Net alludes to, so much even just subtle variation in your body can change what works or just doesnt quite do the trick.