naturally_lovely

Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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naturally_lovely last won the day on February 16

naturally_lovely had the most liked content!

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About naturally_lovely

  • Rank
    the sum of Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
  • Birthday 04/09/1983

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    Seeing a different angle. Feedback.
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    xctacy
  1. The GF invited me and the kids to family dinner. Everything went so well and my older daughter especially loves her! This woman has Finally come around! A month apart on separate vacations has done us a world of good! It feels good to be happy.

    1. Hungry

      Hungry

      I'm glad things are going well :)

  2. Thank you for educating. And Im so happy you came up clean! Will you provide a link to the other thread please?
  3. I have genital herpes. Hasnt been an issue in the past.. but it is her call. Risk is super minimal. But I'm not going to push her comfort zone or pressure her. Thats gross and not my style. She does a great job attending to other areas, nowadays.
  4. Im surprised at how many different things work for different people. I realize its vague advice.. but seriously the only way to come is to relax and enjoy it. Foreplay is so important. As for giving... we know most women enjoy being fucked in their head.. way before hands and tongues actually touch bodies. It can even start with text when your on the way over.. tell her what your wanting to do or how your looking forward to the way she feels/taste. There is no magical trick or move it all depends on the individual and LISTEN to her body. That's it..that IS the secret move... interpreting what makes her mad! She will move or breathe differently with differing levels of excitement or lack there of. Its always okay to stop. And come up for air! Also its not the end of the world to laugh or take a tiny break. Basics I have found to start with are... licking with a broad soft tongue( but don't try to make it huge.. just not pointy) circles around the clit or opening of vagina, up and down motion with tongue and sucking the clit or labia. That's about it. The rest boils down to the individual of where they want it and how fast. On a personal note. I've sighed up for relationship where I give a lot of oral. But do not receive.... EVER. I'm a bit jelious right now. So Lucky you! I know that the jeliously feeling will pass.
  5. Um.. I draw a clear line. Im 34 and I say no one younger than 27 for me and thats still really pushing my comfort. Also as far as ooogling teenage girls.. as in (13-19) No not cool in my book. But Im a fairly protective mom of a tween so maybe that has something to do with my feelings.
  6. One simple question. Does the husband know? Personally I would start there. I have learned to give people more credit than I used to. Im not judging negatively but I will say I have heard.. things can be a lot easier once everything is out in the open. My open relationships where not easy at all.. but at least we tried. I agree.. responding so intensely to sexual attention could stem from a larger personal dynamic. One many of us have.. no worries, but at some point that is worth looking at. Telling your spouse doesn't mean you have to stop " cheating". As you clearly don;t want to. But lets flirt with the idea of open, forthright communication and just a touch of self control out of respect for your husband. Does he "cheat"? Is monogamy really a dynamic both of you want/can agree to? If he slept with others would it bother you? Those are important questions to ask. I know you don't feel bad about sleeping with others. But think on the ethical idea of lying by omission. Would he want to know? I know that seductive, exciting in the moment dynamic all to well. Literally to well! Personally if my partner wanted to sleep with someone else it MAY not be a deal breaker, depends on the feelings and such. But Im heavily weighing in here on at least telling the husband and starting a courageous conversation about your REAL desires. Try to include him or at least inform him. There are many books on the matter. Ethical Slut is one of the older and most popular. Also a website more than two. The whole idea is overwhelming at first and requires a bit of trimming down and customizing to your own needs/want. But at least it gets you thinking on a different plane and open to other possibilities. Enjoy you.
  7. Hungry.. this is terrible, but I love you for it.
  8. I think its an important topic get out there and talk about. Furthermore, no worries on not responding quickly. Better to think it through..than just start typing. I am curious though.. have you pin pointed some main points as to why you are " far" from being okay with your sexuality? Hopefully if you talk about specific reasons you will help yourself workout some of the knots.. and maybe even help others. Just a thought. And this is very safe and supportive space.
  9. First... I love that you posted this topic! Thank you. Second... Yes.. I agree don't let others define you. To me you are just " as much" bisexual having no experience with men than the women on here who are bisexual having no experience with other women. Really it matters not what others think. Though we must recognize the effect of feeling accepted or not in a community. The best thing I believe you can do for yourself is understand and accept what makes you the most happy in that realm. And Im so happy you don't want to play the " gay enough" game. Its a bullshit game and no different from trying to fit into any box sexually in my opinion. There is a whole spectrum of sexual terms Im not familiar with but I know they are out there and maybe research them and see what feels right for you if you think a need a label. But I say just figure it out as you go, do what makes you happy ethically of course and let it be. Read on if you want my personal experience so far.. otherwise.. that's all I got and thank you again for this topic. Personally. I struggled a great deal with my sexuality. Not because I ever felt ashamed with my true bisexuality. But because it was still so hard to bloody pick one! And for a time I didn't pick one. I identified as poly. I am not. And I also have failed at open relationship type dynamics. I have been in two closed triads. One worked well and One did not. I have miserably tried monogamy with my husband. Because I loved him and our children. That was ugly, and we are many years divorced now. I also struggled with the social aspects of my job and having children and if it was okay to be out dating women. For many years I felt I fit into NO box having NO circle and had NO people, lovers family or the like.. who really accepted me and my orientation. It was the classic and horrific dynamic. My straight friends where creeped out by my lesbian side and my lesbian friends where grossed out by my genuine sexual attraction to men. Lovers NEVER trusted me.. ( honestly that was warranted. on their part.. eek!. sorry guys..) I felt very out of place and like I was lying to both groups of lesbians and straight people and lovers alike and these where people close to me. And I don't really know any other openly bisexual people. It was a very heart breaking number of years for me. And I judged myself very harshly for feeling like I could not be faithful to one orientation or the other. I hated myself for being so unfaithful to each orientation and also to many people. Because I really wanted to be on one side of the fence or the other...so bad! It was a true struggle and a painful conflicted one at that. I wanted so badly to express how I felt and genuinely responded sexually to the different PEOPLE I came into contact with regardless of course of gender. I will say almost a little over a year ago now.. that struggle was finally laid to rest. I had to get older. I had to prioritize what I really wanted for my sex life, for my children , for my career and for the life I truly could live to be happiest Once I turned around my thinking on monogamy and my personal sexual orientation.. and being OUT everything else sort of fell into place. Things are not without struggle... or conflict but the inner conflict and self guilt has been gone for some time now. And I feel so much happier. Don't let others define you, don't try to fit in any boxes. Give yourself the freedom to ethically feel and love whoever and however it feels truest to you. Its your life.
  10. I agree, relax and stop pursuing her on a sexual level. You have made your feelings clear, now its time to see if she is going to reciprocate. She will know how to come to you if she is interested. Especially with her knowing you are already interested. For the sake of the friendship, keep the ball in her court and let her change the game if it happens. If not, then you haven't lost a friend.
  11. Sending positive and empowering thoughts your way. Try very hard to think of positive things about your personality and your body. Also in my personal experience I have been turned on by many different body types, mostly female ones though...lol. I didn't used to, but I do now have a stronger preference for females. But I will say.. body type, heavy, tall, short, thin, race. Makes little difference to me and I can imagine the same is true for a lot people. As you grow in confidence you should be able to see that both being attractive and being attracted to others is mostly in the minds eye. Its in the way you conduct yourself and in the chemistry between people. Women more commonly in my experience know this to be true on varying degrees so, push on, beautiful. Connection and sexuality run so much deeper than the physical.
  12. I agree. Go slow or at least only as fast as you want to go. Read the forums, its a great place to share thoughts, bounce ideas off people or give feedback, if that is a more comfortable place for you to start. Being " older" is not as limiting as you might think. And also I was married. You mentioned you came here for reason..I am asking what is that reason? Do you have questions? We might have answers that help. Are you just looking for common ground to share your thoughts and experiences. We are good, listeners also.. What about the forums has captured your interest so far?
  13. Its PRIDE month and Im so excited! Going alone..but not single. Oh boy! I better find the dates, I think its soon.

  14. A great way to start is to just start. Keep it simple. Just go on dates with people you feel you will enjoy and be yourself and try to be comfortable. I don't think anyone will judge you. Good luck on your dating adventure and congrats on coming out.
  15. So I have come across this problem as well. Im so happy you posted this topic.I have slew of dirty and sexy and kinky things in my head. But have a lot of trouble saying these things out loud. And I disagree it IS sad. At least its sad for me. My girl wants it so bad.. and I have so many thoughts. I have no idea why the words won't come out. I'M in the same boat.. "Oh ya.. I love to feel you so wet on me." " I like the way you sound when you come." That's about all I got.. That will actually come out.... sad, sad. A piece of it is I'm to scared to say anything, because whats in my head is fairly dirty, kinky and objectifying. What can I say.. that's how my brain works during sex. And I don't want to use a word or say phrase that will totally turn her off in the moment. And I also do get shy.. and don't want to say something that sounds hot in my head, but when spoken out loud.. really isn't hot. Like for example, " I just want your skin in my mouth." Is it hot? or.. am I alluding to the fact I might be a cannibal! lol.. ( I'm not) So there is a shyness factor. Here are things I have heard that I think are really hot... " I want to fuck you so hard, I might break you." ( Um yes please.. lets try, its not possible.) If I'm comming she immediately tells me " Oh yeah.. don't stop, don't you stop". ( that seems easy to say.. and also for me.. its hot) "I want you to come all over me." ( Again.. um okay I will) Thats all I can think of off the top of my head. I would try to check in and see what words are offensive to her and what words she likes. I don't talk dirty but I do use the word, cunt and pussy a lot and I found out the hard way my current girl doesn't like either of those words. I want to say to her " fuck me harder with your pussy" but I'll have to think of a substitute word. Its a good idea to listen to that podcast. I know I'm going to! And remember if you say something silly or unhot.. so what. Its always a good sigh in a relationship to laugh during sex and keep going. Its about feeling good and being stimulated and enjoying time with that person. I think following a format is a bit silly. But it is good to focus on what your are doing in the moment.. a narrative if you will. or something like " Tell me you like the way I'm touching/fucking you." To help myself get comfortable ( I'M not there yet) I have started saying dirty things out loud when I am alone. Not masturbating.. just alone in my house. So I can get used to saying them out loud and start thinking of toning down the things in my head for the audience I will have. Its hilarious.. but I will be showering or brushing my hair or washing dishes and saying things like " I wanna feel that sweet pussy get wet" or " Lets see how many times we can make you beg for it." To each their own I guess. Do you like hearing yourself talk dirty?