Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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BellaMynx last won the day on March 16 2016

BellaMynx had the most liked content!

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About BellaMynx

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  • Birthday 10/16/1983

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  • Music
    Classic rock...well Chevelle Radio on Pandora...
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    Women, Men, tarot, runes, crystal work, meditation, Buddhism, Yoga, Pilates, kink (ask me about that), polyamory, and more...
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    Moonlight Sonata and Sweet Pea
  • Favourite Book
    Books by Caroline Kepnes, JK Rowling, Reneé Ahdieh, Edgar Allen Poe, William Shakespeare
  • Favourite TV Show
    Korean Dramas, OITNB, Sailor Moon, Archer, Bob's Burgers, gameplays on YouTube
  • Favourite Film
    The Hobbit, LOTR, Harry Potter, and more...

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  1. *Warning, this blog will contain content that deals with polyamory. If you are not open to polyamory or don't practice it, I don't want to hear from you. Yes, we are free to do whatever we want, but you're not going to help me. Please carry on.* *Second warning: there will be gratuitous use of the f-word. If you do not like the f-word, Then, do not proceed." I don't think I will never disclose any information about any of my secondary relationships to any of my monogamous friends who aren't open to poly. I have one friend who is open and does not judge me or tell me "why don't you spend more time with your husband" or "be glad you still have your husband." She listens to me, and she understands my feelings! I only have one of her, and I can't just unload on her because she's all I've got! Back to the statement: "why not just focus on your husband and don't even worry about finding another partner?" Are you fucking kidding me? When did I ever mention that something was wrong with my husband? Why do people even bring him into the conversation when he isn't part of the problem??? Why do people do that? This is some heteronormative and mono-normative (I know there is a word for it, but I can't think of it right now) type bullshit! Honestly! It is statements like these that push me to the point where I don't have patience when talking to someone who is not familiar with polyamory. I am upset that every external partner I have attempted to go out with has flaked out on me. My husband has been nothing but supportive! He and I spend a lot of time together! A lot! He and I talk together! Our love life is beautiful. Do I miss him when he is at work? Absolutely, I do! Who wouldn't miss their husband? If I didn't, then there might be a problem; however, there is no problem with our goddamn relationship? Why do people feel like they have to fucking tell me to spend MORE time with my husband?!?! I DO spend time with him! We spend a lot of time together! Every week! Every weekend! Why do people think that I have problems with my primary marriage?! WE ARE ABOUT AS NORMAL AS EVERY OTHER MARRIED COUPLE! For fuck's sake! Why? Why do people assume that there are problems with your primary relationship? The secondary partner isn't an imaginary person! They existed too! I can't be pissed or sad because I lost my second partner? I'm supposed to be numb about this whole other person not here in my life anymore???? So mono-normative of that!!! Ugh! That second partner meant something to me! I'm not just going to pretend that she didn't exist! That is horrible! That is a disservice to another human being, granted she pissed me off, but I cared about her! I still do and that is what pisses me off even more about it! Ughhhhh! She pisses me off that she gave up before the relationship could even have a chance! I'm so angry at her. She was so good. So good. Damn it! I can't even talk to anyone else about it. She even lived SO CLOSE to me!!!! I'm not going to talk about her to my husband because he will get very protective of me and just say mean things about her, and I don't want to hear that. Lol! This is what I love about him. He defends me to no end. I appreciate him and I love him so much. *cries on the floor* My phone is in the other room because I do not want to hear the notifications from my friend who thoroughly pissed me off. Just the mere mentioning of them advising me to "spend more time with my husband" and they've never even spent time with me to know that I do spend plenty of time with him makes me want to slap them. My god. I'm done! Fucking done. I'm going to go to bed. I need to go to my corner and think about all the things I've said. I'm not asking for advice. I am just venting. That's all. I'm not looking for anything. HOWEVER, If you are poly, know a lot about polyamory, and STILL practice, or you have some encouraging words that have kept you strong and active in polyamorous living, I'm not opposed to seeing them. Later, Bella P.S. My apologies for the cursing, but I'm utterly pissed off because I lost my secondary partner because she just...I can't even get into it because there will be a fucking novel here.
  2. I can happily say that my birthday was pretty good! Turning 34 is quite interesting. It's one of those blah ages, but I'm glad that I'm alive to see it. I miss my father still, but each day it gets easier and easier to live with it. I know he died three years ago, but I still miss him. 

  3. It's hard being polyamorous and you can't find a single person who is willing to commit other than your primary partner. This is why I love my husband so much. He shows me that there are still people in the world who don't flake out on you. :)

    I get the feeling only other polyamorists will understand me when I say this: I just wish there was another partner who won't flake out on me. Like seriously. Where are they? 

    1. ChemFem


      Yeah I feel you on that. I think that flakiness you describe contributed to the decline of my fwb relationship. And yes, my primary partner is a wonderful reminder that somebody is committed to being with me. <3

    2. BellaMynx


      Thank you so much for validating my statement. This means a lot! :) Finally, someone understands me and doesn't just say, "Well you still have your husband!" It's like, " don't seem to think that other pains exist!"

    3. ChemFem


      Yeah. It's weird that mono people are more likely to espouse a belief in soul mates, which heightens individual difference, but then flatten that difference out in relation to poly breakups. It's an odd comparison but it almost reminds me of people who react to a pet owner's grief with the suggestion "just get another dog/cat/ichthyosaur." That's not how bonds between individuals work.

  4. Thank you!! I'm going to read this in the midst of chaos.
  5. You have a point there! I'd love to see the articles on that! <--Psychology nerd. He he! It did take me years to finish my book. Lol!
  6. Thank you! Well, I do know that Cinderella was telling the birds this when they asked her to share her dream. Lol! So I just quoted her. Yes, nerds and weirdos need and deserve love too! he he! Positive energy to the universe and beyond! I will try. He he, Thank you again.
  7. Your About Me is awesome!  I've yet to get to mine.

    Do you speak Portuguese?

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. NoOne


      Eu falo um pouco de portugues.  That's about the extent of my speaking ability. lol!  But I understand it a bit more.  I did 4 years spanish in high school and have since started French, Italian, Portuguese, Greek, Japanese, and...wait for it...High Valyrian (from Game of Thrones)  Nerd?  You and me both!

    3. BellaMynx


      Ok, you and I are both polyglots! I don't know if you've read my About Me section, but I love languages. Oooh, I think I might want to learn High Valyrian too! Lol! I've also wanted to learn the Elvin language from LOTRs...I am also dabbling in Japanese. Duolingo ftw! Lol! Go Nerds!!

    4. NoOne


      Haha! I would like to learn Elvin as well but I think I’d stop for the same reason I’ve stopped valyrian. No one to speak it with. My bf has no interest lol. Duo is amazing. ♥️

  8. It feels nice when people understand you. Ah, Shys strikes again! I like when you strike me this way, Shys! ;) Oh god...that sounds so funny to me! ^_^

  9. I have decided to follow you. Thank you for responding to my post! Also, I love Arya too! Love your profile pic!

    1. NoOne


      Aw awesome!  Thank you!  I have done the same :)

    2. BellaMynx


      Sweet! Thank you! ;)

  10. I decided to follow you. You seem pretty cool. :D Thank you for responding to my post! 

  11. I suppose. Lol! I am quite bubbly at times and then I can be serious immediately after. My friends think I'm fun and stuff, but new people...well...I don't think they understand me at first. I'm so weird! Ha ha! I end up having more friends than suitors and suitoresses? LOL! I totally made that word up. Lol. But anywho, yeah, I also get mistaken as a younger gal too (25 as opposed to my actual 33 and in 3 days 34)! Happy birthday to me! Perhaps, a pretty girl will come my way and want to be serious for a change. That will be my wish, but damn it...according to Disney's Cinderella, I can't tell a wish or it won't come true...FML...LOL! I'm always doing it wrong! Lmao!
  12. Thank you! It's so hard because there are a lot of people who have hurt me in the friend zone area. I have also been used before by someone who wasn't sure that they were bisexual or even into girls. And so unbeknownst to me, they decided to "take me out on a date." In which they pitied me and paid for my dinner, my drinks, and then let me do some other activity that has nothing to do with sex but I won't mention it online; hence, the reason why I will never date someone with the extension "flexible" attached to their orientation. Anyway going back to the main topic, since I went on a gigantic tangent, it's hard to believe that someone would want to date me even though I'm honest. They think that I'm lying or that it's too good to be true. I have a kind face--my friend and I were talking about this the other day because she thinks that since I have a kind face, people think, "okay, she looks harmless and nice. She'll let me experiment with her!" Then it all goes downhill from there. In a nutshell, I have been cursed with heartbreak after heartbreak. The people who do want to date me are unavailable or not my type because we are completely different. This is in terms of compatibility. They are completely wrong for me. Oh, my life is so complicated.
  13. Thank you, dear. I appreciate that.
  14. See, I do make them feel special, which is why they leave backfires. I even ask them how they're feeling and if it was ok to make a certain gesture. I back off if they say no. I'm very considerate. (she even said that to me)
  15. Thank you for your compliment. Yeah, I can't seem to find someone who is serious and sure of themselves to be with me.