Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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BellaMynx last won the day on December 30 2017

BellaMynx had the most liked content!

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About BellaMynx

  • Rank
  • Birthday 10/16/1983

Profile Information

  • Music
    Lounge-like Brazilian Music
  • Location
  • Interests
    Women, Men, tarot, runes, crystal work, meditation, Buddhism, Yoga, Pilates, kink (ask me about that), polyamory, and more...
  • Signature Fragrance
    Moonlight Sonata and Sweet Pea
  • Favourite Book
    Hamlet by William Shakespeare
  • Favourite TV Show
    K-Dramas, OITNB, Sailor Moon, Archer, Bob's Burgers, gameplays by Dashiegames on YT, GOT, Star Trek
  • Favourite Film
    The Hobbit, LOTR, Harry Potter, and more...

Recent Profile Visitors

10,806 profile views
  1. Dating is so difficult. Because of ghosting, people make you feel like shit. I swear, I wish people had enough balls to utter the words "I'm not interested." That way I won't waste a face full of makeup and a cute outfit. I waited for that dude to message me that he was ready and he didn't even contact me the whole day. 

    Ugh. Anyway, I am going to try and go out and be around people. I will not sit and fall into a pit of misery. I refuse to do that. It only hurts me and not the other person. 

    1. moonbynight


      I think one way to look at it is that ghosting almost always represents ineffective coping skills. It's not even "I'm not interested". They may be interested, and just not know how to handle it for whatever reason. It still sucks, but try to assume that it is truly them, not you.

    2. BenedettaC


      I'm sorry to hear that. Try to forget about it. It's his loss, not yours...

    3. ChemFem


      Agreed with both. Still in a pain in the ass though. However, you did not waste a face full of makeup and a cute outfit, you graciously bestowed them on the world:air_kiss:

  2. Hey! Welcome! We live in the same city! Well, kinda.
  3. "I knoooooooooow, I knooooooooow for suuuuuuuuuure that life is beautiful around the woooooorld..." I love this song! RHCP are so awesome. Anyway, I've made some important decisions,and I'm going to execute them. 

  4. I'd forgotten about how tedious it is to take care of a new tattoo. Lol! I'm like, "GAHHHH! I want to SCRATCH YOUUUUUUUU!!!! I CAAAAAAN'T!" It's so pretty though!!!! :D

  5. Hey hey! How are you? It has been a while since I've been active on here and I remember seeing many of your posts and stuff. I can't believe I haven't followed you yet! 

    1. wolfbigrl88


      Yup it has been a while. Nice to see you around again :)

  6. I hope all my US Shys had a Happy Independence Day! I nearly burned my fingers off! Yay! Ha ha! Today, I got a new tattoo! I'm so happy how it turned out. Right now I'm bruised up, but once it clears and looks prettier, I shall show a pic. :D

  7. Omg! I'm angry at the guy who left you at the bar alone! What an asshole! (Forgive my foul mouth). I'm so sorry and I don't blame you for closing down your profile. I also suck at flirting with women. Men, I do it unknowingly, but I'm SO scared to move it to the next level. It is scary! I don't know what exactly I'm scared of, but it is completely nerve wrecking. Aww. I wish you the best of luck however you choose to meet your person.
  8. After watching this video again at a conference last weekend, it helped me feel so much better about having the courage to work with people in my new career. It also helped me have a better understanding of why I got angry at people after my father died whenever they kept telling me: "I'll pray for you." or "At least he's in a better place..." Those were band-aide responses I received when I didn't want anyone to effing pray for me or tell me something they had no idea about and made assumptions. The video especially helped me understand my irritation toward people whenever I would reach out to receive some comfort after breaking up with one of my partners or to express that I'm having a difficult time finding a partner, they'd tell me like, "'re still with your husband, right?" In my mind, I"m like, "what made you think I was not with him?" Why is it that whenever a relationship fails with a secondary (I hate using this word because I don't like ranking my partners) or tertiary partner, the relationship with the primary partner is somewhat at fault with the other relationships. What? Seriously? My marriage had nothing to do with the failure of the relationship with my recent exes. Why is this so difficult to understand? Honestly, I think this is why I want to be a counselor and help polyamorous individuals so that they don't feel like there is no one out there who understands them. It makes me think of this in the video: "Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response begin with ' least'...and we do it all the time. Someone just shared something with us that is incredibly painful, and we're trying to 'silverline it' [...] we're trying to put the silver line around it..." ~Brené Brown on Empathy Examples of people who try to Sympathize versus Empathize: Sad person: "I had a miscarriage..." Sympathetic person: "At least you know you can get pregnant." Sad person: "I think my marriage is falling apart..." Sympathetic person: "At least, you have a marriage..." *My personal experiences* Me: "I'm feeling depressed because I miss my father who died four years ago." Sympathetic person: "At least you still have your mother. Think about that." Me: "I'm sad that I haven't found the right second partner, and I'm feeling lonely right now." Sympathetic person: "At least you still have your husband." Here are some examples of being empathetic with a polyamorous person if you aren't poly and have no idea how to relate: For fights: Imagine the last fight you had with your significant other. I'm not talking about the one where you forgave each other within 5 minutes. I'm talking about the one that lasted for quite some time. You felt horrible inside, and that person really hurt you deeply. Think about how that feels. Now relate that to a person who is poly and fought with one of their partners. Every relationship is unique. Deal with the current relationship with which they're upset. Don't discuss the other relationships that have nothing to do with the current one. For breakups: Think about a time you had a nasty break up, or a break up that left you feeling like you'd never find someone else again. Imagine that when trying to comfort someone who is poly and they just had a breakup. Do not discuss a relationship that has nothing to do with the current one the poly person has presented. How would you feel if someone filleted your heart and served it back to you? You'd feel downright crappy, wouldn't you? For aching that they're having trouble meeting other poly people for relationships: Think about how it felt when you were looking for someone to date, and you kept meeting people who were just not right for you. Do you remember how sad that felt? Do you remember that hurt and pain? That is exactly how a poly person would feel. Worry about the current issue. Don't bring in other relationships that have nothing to do with how they currently feel. Poly people hurt too. It's not about whether polyamory works for you or not. It is the person who is hurting that needs some comfort. That is all! I really wish people would understand that instead of assuming that because many of us are married or partnered and that we are automatically sunshine 24/7. We love differently. That's just how I've felt for a long time. This is why I keep to myself because if I try to reach out to anyone, I get those sympathetic comments from people who have no idea how I'm feeling and don't try to understand how much I'm hurting. Namaste, Bella
  9. I wish that people understood the difference between the following things:

    1. Listening to respond vs. listening to understand.

    2. Empathy vs. Sympathy (a blog is in the making right now).

    3. Your vs. You're

    4. Then vs. Than

    5. There vs. their vs. they're

    6. Where vs. we're, vs. were

    7. Antisocial vs. Asocial

    Ok, that latter part is for grammar, but still! Lol! I get a headache when I read memes that misuse those words! It's like, NO! Ha ha! People explain to me that they don't need to worry about grammar when they're being casual. My question to you is, "do you know what those words mean? There are clear differences between those words!" You can't just decide to break the rules of grammar just because you don't feel like using an apostrophe or changing one letter! Typos are one thing, but using completely different words in place of another to intend another meaning is beyond my understanding. Forgive me if this is shallow. 


  10. I wish I had more polyamorous friends. I need to talk with people who won't jump to the conclusion of me not being happy with my husband. It has nothing to do with my husband. It's like wow...

    1. JazzyJess21


      new to the poly thing here...but you are right it has nothing to do with not being happy with him its all about seeking out that other half to you..feeling complete.. having or seeking a gf for yourself doesnt negate the love you have for him.

  11. I'm not bi-curious, but I'm closeted bi as well as a closeted polyamorous person when it comes to my work environment. I work in a profession where if they get wind that you're not heterosexual and monogamous, then you are in for a world of trouble and possible job loss. I live in a VERY religious area, and nearly everyone I work with has issues with LGBTQ+ individuals as well as relationship dynamics other than monogamous. Therefore, it makes dating very difficult for me because some of whom I date want to do so openly, however, I cannot afford that. I am, though, working on leaving such a place where I can live openly and not give a flying fart about people having issues about my orientation or relationship dynamic. I'm getting to the age where I just don't feel it is fair for everyone else to live comfortably around me and I live stuffed in this closet. It's hot and cramped in here!
  12. Hi there! It's been a long time! How have you been?? I'm so glad to see you're on here still!

  13. Random, funny thought: I'd love to date an Englishwoman and call her "my little English muffin" or "my little crumpet" purely as a term of endearment. Although, I think she'd hate me and call me a stupid yank. Lol! 

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. BellaMynx


      Well, if they said it to be a meanie, then I'd understand. Well...then again, it all depends on the person receiving the name too. 

    3. NoOne


      We did our usual back and forth of pet names, and I slid "my little English muffin" in there.  She giggled and said "but I'm not the little one" because she's taller than me and it's a running thing between us to point that fact out as often as possible, teasing and lovingly.  I said "but you're my babygirl" and she said "hmm, yea, true" and giggled some more.  Then I explained the reason I called her it and she was amused and giggled more when I said "crumpet".

    4. BellaMynx


      I just now saw this! Lol! I'm glad it went well! He he!

  14. Good day, ladies. I have anxiety and depression, and I swear my studies in mental health have made me more and more aware of how mental illnesses can indeed affect our lives if we are not careful and don't have strategies in place to combat it. I've been with my therapist for 3 years, and I have come a long way, especially since my father died 4 years ago. It's like a battle, but with parts of those battles that I've slain evil dragons that try to creep up and tell me that I'm worthless or that I should worry about stupid shit. Honestly, I just hate when it attacks at random moments either by triggers, or it just shows up. Like today... Today started out as an okay day. After I'd received some mild news about some mundane thing in the world, my brain goes, "ah yes...although this isn't that much of a terrible thing, let's dwell on that and bring in other shit that has nothing to do with why we want to make you feel like crap today! Yay!" Ughhhh! No one has been attacking me at all. No one has triggered anything. This is all me. Usually, I distract myself by talking to my husband who makes me laugh or surfing through my other social media sites and finding funny memes. Nope. After I've laughed, it just sticks. I know it will go away, eventually, but ugh. I will say that I'm yet again irritated by the fact that I've tried to be more proactive in my search for another partner, but my efforts were in vain. I need to go on more outings with my special interest groups, but they only have it once a month. Then I literally just found out that they canceled this month's meeting due to our country's Independence Day on July 4th. *falls to my knees and cries* I was looking forward to meeting more people...this sucks horribly. I was looking forward to meeting some more people and making some acquaintances, and it just all gets snuffed out. I've taken breaks, and I swear, I don't have many friends with whom share my same or similar orientation and/or lifestyle. It's hard. It sucks being a bi, poly and married woman. I swear people think I'm a disease. I think I'm primarily angry at that. Being Bisexual, Polyamorous, and Married Sucks Why does it suck? It's not because I don't like being bisexual, married, and polyamorous. Oh no, personally, I love my orientation and my lifestyle. What sucks is that other people don't like it. This is a problem because I can BARELY find people who want to date me. They assume too much about me. The following assumptions prevent me from finding anyone: 1. "You're just another unicorn hunter." This is far from the truth. While not judging those who practice unicorn hunting, I personally am not interested in finding another partner for the mere pleasures of having a threesome. No. It is not a sexual thing. Will people believe me? Nope. They still think about the last time they were with a married woman, and that married woman betrayed them. Kind of like how some lesbians refuse to date bisexual women because the last one betrayed them and left them for a man. That's pretty much how this assumption goes. 2. "This is just a glorified way of cheating. You are unhappy with your husband." FFS, people do not understand the definition of what it means to be polyamorous. It is NOT cheating. Cheating is a form of DECEPTION. Nothing is deceiving about being polyamorous. If you are misleading people and you claim to be polyamorous, I've got one thing to say to you, "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!" 3. "I don't think you would have time for me. Plus, I don't want to get jealous or anything." One, you don't know me well enough to know whether or not I have time for you. Plus, I've managed time to talk to you, so I believe I'm good at managing my time. Two, jealousy arises in monogamous AND polyamorous relationships. How you deal with jealousy is what makes the relationship either stronger or weaker. In polyamory, we talk about it and find the catalyst from where the jealousy arose. Then we combat it. However, if you're that worried about being jealous, then why are you talking to me in the first place? Those are my top three that prevent me from merely getting a damn date. It makes me want to give up. It makes me want to just begrudgingly be monogamous to prevent any more irritation with my search of another partner. Seriously, I don't know what to do. It's a coin toss. Issues that arise when I DO find someone: 1. They think I'm a solution to their marital problems. My last ex-girlfriend was a piece of work. Although we communicated via online and phone for 3 months before our first date, she revealed all this shit about her husband and another woman who essentially was the catalyst for their marital problems. There were severe trust issues between her and her husband, and finally, I was like, "Are you even ready to add on another relationship in addition to the bs you're dealing with now??" Why I allowed myself to get into this situation, I have no idea. I'll take the blame for that one. I should have just said no. 2. They take advantage of me...or they try. I am not using the word advantage in a means of illegal activity, but I am talking about they use me for their own malicious needs and leave me dry. Same ex gf used me to advance herself in a field we both had an interest in, but she was aware I was trying to develop myself in this same area. She used MY resources to get her way into it and reap the benefits of my hard work. Yeah, she was a horrible person. 3. They magically do not have time for me or do not respect my life. I'm not talking occasionally. Life does happen, and sometimes there may be times when we won't talk. I'm talking about they can't even send a quick text to me. I've known a small percentage who have managed to keep in contact via text, and I was fine. The last few people have sucked at it. Their excuses where asinine too. It isn't fair that I devote some of my time to you, and you don't do the same to me. This is where I miss one of my exes because she was very good at ensuring that she made me feel loved and cared for. We were fine then. Unfortunately, she's the one that got away. The latter portion of this issue is that I cannot be as open as I'd like to be due to my job. It doesn't mean that I am ashamed of my partner; unfortunately, there are jobs out there who do not support the LGBTQ+ community nor do they support polyamorous dynamics. Until I get into my other career, I have to stay closeted. I do know LGBTQ friendly hangouts in my area, but that person has to be mindful of me. There was one girl who had an issue with this AND could not manage her time. She suddenly realized that she had parental responsibilities as well as had issues with me being partially closeted. She knew very well that she was a mother and that her child had needs. Why, all of a sudden, have they become more apparent when you deliberately took time out of your schedule to talk to me for nearly 2 damn months? Also, I hardly ever had issues with my partners knowing that I have to be partially closeted for job purposes, but this one girl was obnoxious. The simple answer "just don't work for them!" does not work anymore. I have responsibilities to meet and bills to pay. Are you going to pay my bills? No. Either deal with it or leave. She chose to leave. Goodbye. Have a nice life! 4. The one that got away... These are people who I matched with, but due to some life circumstances, we were better off separated. This sucks. This hurts more because I've developed an attachment to them, and it's like...gah. I was so close! Sheesh! Oh well. I shall continue to torture myself by not giving up and trying again while taking breaks. Surely there is someone out there who will respect me and my dynamics. Strangely men tend to be a bit more open than women, but I have met those men who feel similarly about the jealousy part. I just hate when I meet men who try to compare themselves to my husband. It is not a fucking competition! Why do they even do that? They try to see whose cock is bigger instead of caring about being in a relationship with me. Then they worry constantly about whether my husband knows or not. If I tell them that I've spoken with and showed their picture to my husband, then why do they constantly worry? I have daily conversations with my husband, and we talk about the partners with whom we are either interested. Where is the issue? Why keep asking if you know I regularly communicate with my husband? There is no issue! Get over it! I think that, largely, they're not used to it and someone has betrayed them in the past. Aye, there's the rub. Anyway, onward march. I think talking about this has helped me minimize my depressive symptoms. Although it is not completely gone, I can still be glad that I feel a small percentage better having written this out and seeing it clearly in black and white. Perhaps I can find more online poly groups. I just wish there was a local poly community where I can have friends who are poly and just talk to them and vent. Namaste, Bella
  15. Thank you. I appreciate your comment.