Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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Amethyst753 last won the day on October 11

Amethyst753 had the most liked content!

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300 Excellent

About Amethyst753

  • Rank
  • Birthday 01/02/1981

Profile Information

  • Music
    Gillian Welch
  • Location
    Outside Nowhere, Okla
  • Interests
    Cooking, Friends for dinner, volleyball, a night off from kids.
  • Signature Fragrance
    White Jasmine
  • Favourite Book
    Ciderhouse Rules
  • Favourite TV Show
    Giada at Home
  • Favourite Film
    Hunger Games

Recent Profile Visitors

623 profile views
  1. Brave, brave woman @Gemini82. It's so easy to continue along a path that is unsatisfying but not overtly threatening. It takes great courage to forge a new, unpredictable, reality. We have nothing but the greatest admiration for you. Please don't hesitate to come for support any time you feel you need it. Godspeed my dear Ame
  2. Let me say at the outset that I am not personally attracted to a D/s relationship. I'm not prepared to be totally responsible for another persons happiness and satisfaction, nor am I prepared to completely surrender my own to someone else. That said, I understand @CallistoDidNotWin difficulties with understanding this very complex relationship, but if you DO want to understand it, or might be interested in trying it, I suggest you read EACH and EVERY ONE of @BenedettaC's posts. I don't claim to have an in-depth insight on these relationships. But virtually everything I now understand about them came from her careful, approachable, and understandable posts. She is a very valuable Shy resource. Now, if I could just get her interested in trading stock options ... Ame
  3. @Savanna: I would strongly second @just_me_laurie's advice. You've been with your b/f for some time and it can be easy under those circumstances to just let things roll along until you find that you've made promises and commitments you're ill prepared to keep. You are exploring aspects of yourself that are VERY important -- fundamental really. You should carefully avoid making promises to your boyfriend until you're confident you know what they mean to you. You should take some time to consider what promises you have already made -- explicitly or implicitly. There's no shame in acting outside of un made commitments or rules you haven't agreed to. But there is, I think, in doing so if you HAVE agreed. If you have, I think you need to talk to your boyfriend. If you haven't but are contemplating doing things he'd be surprised or unhappy about, you need to talk to him and get yourself more space. That talk won't be easy, but it's very important and you'll be both proud and thankful for having it (albeit probably not immediately). Good Luck Ame
  4. @naruto: Welcome back. We hate to lose members and are always grateful when they return -- perhaps with new ideas and wiser. I suppose, since you've been here before, "welcome" isn't really appropriate, so maybe: Happy To See You Again Ame
  5. @just_me_laurie: Welcome to the forum. It enriches our community to have new voices, new viewpoints, and new experiences. We hope you'll look around, become comfortable, and share your thoughts. I'm sorry about the issues you're having with your friend. I think you will find this to be a common dilemma for women interested in a married woman. As a married woman, the relationship you imagine is likely to be very problematical for her. The distancing you're sensing might have much less to do with you and much more to do with her relationship with her husband. I think you're wise not to pressure her, but I think a good and kind friend would reach out and express concern for her and ask in a non-pressured way if there was anything you could do to help. Good Luck, and once again Welcome Ame
  6. @Reptilelover: I perceive you to be sort of in the middle of the commitment scale. On the one hand, you have a boyfriend but you're not married to him. On the other, you have children with him so, one way or another, you're likely to be connected to him for a loonnnggg time. I would only offer one caution, and I do so from my own experience: Marriage is a formal commitment to another person, and it comes with it "promises"; some of which are explicit ("in sickness and in health"), and some are implicit, by which I mean both parties understand the promise has been made, even if it's not directly spoken. Monogamy is often in this latter category. My advice is to think very, very carefully about what promises you're prepared to make, and be completely clear with your boyfriend concerning them. Of course, things change over time and it's sometimes possible to re-negotiate your promises, but in my experience, and from reading many posts here, it's often MUCH HARDER to do that than you might expect. Think Carefully, Promise Wisely, and Good Luck Ame
  7. @Dutchess607: Actually I never feel guilty about being on the site or about the communications I have with women friends here or elsewhere. I promised by husband monogamy, which I've found difficult. But I NEVER promised to give up my intellectual freedom. I mention this only because I think it's important that if you feel guilty, you're clear about why. Ambiguity in these things leads to baseless unhappiness and guilt. One Woman's View Ame
  8. @barbie!girl; As @Cute&Curious has said, I think you've come to the right place. Many, if not most, women in this community, including me, are is situations similar to yours. We're trying to balance a romantic, often marital, relationship with a man against string desires for a woman. I don't think there is a single, right, answer to this dilemma. Each woman must try to find a path that works for her, her SO, and their relationship. But Shy's does described endless options, and viewpoints from others that are going your way. Welcome Again and let us have your viewpoints when you're ready. Ame
  9. As the mother of two boys, I do worry about this, but I have to wonder if this is truly worse, or merely change. I have it on good authority from an elderly ob/gyn that 30 or 40 years ago almost all men, and most women, had no idea what a clitoris was. Now they ALL do. I have to agree that learning about sex (the activity, not the anatomy) from porn isn't optimal, but do we believe that silent groping, accompanied by heavy breathing, in the back seats of cars yielded better lovers? Not So Sure Ame
  10. @Feefee81: Try: After you've logged on, there's a little arrow to the right of you logon name at the top right corner of the screen. Click the arrow and select "Profile" On the left side of your profile page is the picture that's displayed on your profile and alongside your posts. There's a teeny little square thingy just below the pic. Click it You'll get the option to upload a pic from your computer or pull one in from the internet. If you select the former, you'll be able to put in the directory and file name where the pictures resides on you computer. The latter and you can enter a URL (e.g. HTTP:// Either way the site will pull your picture in (if it can) and display it on your profile and posts Everyone, including you, will be able to see it. You may wish to be cautious about using a "real" picture. Many of us use Anime or stock pics of others to avoid having our real image on the internet. Your choice Good Luck Ame
  11. Welcome @Feefee81. We're always happy to see new new people and hear new voices. Please take your time and look around the site. When you're comfortable, we'd love to hear from you. All perspectives are welcome. You'll find that there are many bi-curious, married women here and many are grappling with the same dilemmas you are. Seem to be lots of Aussies too. I suspect @Rani knows them all (lol). Good to See You and Welcome Again Ame
  12. @Paigelosophy: Welcome. You'll find a lot of company for your thoughts ad situation here. Take your time and read posts and responses in the various forums, especially the one provided by married bi-women. I think you'll find that many of us are fellow travelers. We look forward to hearing from you; to you adding your voice to the community. Welcome Again Ame
  13. @Rani: As you say, good kissing depends more on the kisser than gender. One of my most memorable ones was from a boy -- he was my High School boyfriend and it was the first time he kissed me. I'd been hoping he would for months and when it happened I did, literally, go weak in the knees. But if forced, I suppose I'd say women are the best kissers. For men, a kiss is most often a way point on the path to something they care more about. In my experience with women, the kiss can be an end in itself, lasting a wonderful forever. So, it's a mixed bag, but I try to never turn down a good one. Ame
  14. @myladylove: I sense hurt and frustration in this post. You explain the dilemma very eloquently and well. It gather that the issue is men you meet aren't comfortable with you being interested in, and pursuing relationships with women. Conversely, the women you meet are suspicious of your continued interest in men. I haven't much advice really, but I do have one question: Do you think you might be a little over-focused on the relationships your forming and perhaps not giving as much though to your long term plans and hopes? In five or ten years, would you want to: Be going out with new people regularly and enjoying the process of getting to know them. Settle down with a male partner, perhaps a husband? If this would be your wish, would you want to be able to see / be with women also, or would you prefer a strictly monogamous relationship? Settle down with a female partner, perhaps a wife? As with a husband, would you expect this to be a monogamous relationship or open to relationships with men (or other women). If you imagine the first option, then I think you continue to meet with all sorts of people. Ditch the ones that want exclusivity and won't tolerate relationships with people of genders other than they're own. They won't make you happy in the short or the long term. If either of the latter two options are your choice, then concentrate on meeting men or women, as applicable. But as a dear friend of mine has said, be clear on what you want and expect early in the relationship. Not doing so will just cause misery, and no partner is valuable enough for that. In my own life, when I've been unhappy, I concluded that what I was doing in the present wasn't leading to where I wanted to be in the future. Most often, that was because I hadn't thought carefully about what the future me wanted. Maybe that's not the issue for you, but if it is, it's worthy of some thought. Good Luck and Keep Us Up To Date on Progress Ame