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Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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Amethyst753 last won the day on October 11 2018

Amethyst753 had the most liked content!

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313 Excellent

About Amethyst753

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  • Birthday 01/02/1981

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  • Music
    Gillian Welch
  • Location
    Outside Nowhere, Okla
  • Interests
    Cooking, Friends for dinner, volleyball, a night off from kids.
  • Signature Fragrance
    White Jasmine
  • Favourite Book
    Ciderhouse Rules
  • Favourite TV Show
    Giada at Home
  • Favourite Film
    Hunger Games

Recent Profile Visitors

844 profile views
  1. Hmmm - I don't suppose there is anything wrong with this if you mean you are initially attracted to women based on their appearance. I expect this is extremely common. Different people find different shapes or facial features attractive. I can see that it could be detrimental if you are unable to get beyond a mental caricature of someone and see their real personality. You could miss out on the unique and interesting things a person has to offer. I've always felt that what you imagine and fantasize are your own business. These thoughts shouldn't be judged by others except on two grounds: the effect they have on your life and happiness, and the effect they have on others. Unshared thoughts are unlikely to have any effect on others, so I can't see them as a problem. Ame
  2. @Gizmo - I don't think you're daft in the slightest (is that a "1" or a "0"?) As many, many women here will attest, being a married bi woman can be difficult. Some, with understanding and confident husbands, manage it well. The rest of us struggle. Intimacy and deeply satisfying sex are things we all crave. It doesn't seem daft to have had it and miss it when you no longer do. The difficulty, I think, is what do do now? If your husband is supportive, you could look for another woman, but personally, I'd feel awkward trying to get into the dating scene with another woman after being married for 17 years. As you can tell, I haven't much advice, but I think you would be best served by not doubting your sanity and starting to consider what you really want what you're willing to do to get it. Of course, it's hard to predict such things but a framework and some boundaries might help you move forward. Keep the dialogue open with us. We'll help as much as we can. We hope you are able to work your way through this. Ame
  3. Let me say at the outset that I am not personally attracted to a D/s relationship. I'm not prepared to be totally responsible for another persons happiness and satisfaction, nor am I prepared to completely surrender my own to someone else. That said, I understand @CallistoDidNotWin difficulties with understanding this very complex relationship, but if you DO want to understand it, or might be interested in trying it, I suggest you read EACH and EVERY ONE of @BenedettaC's posts. I don't claim to have an in-depth insight on these relationships. But virtually everything I now understand about them came from her careful, approachable, and understandable posts. She is a very valuable Shy resource. Now, if I could just get her interested in trading stock options ... Ame
  4. Amethyst753

    Bicurious and confused HELP

    @Savanna: I would strongly second @just_me_laurie's advice. You've been with your b/f for some time and it can be easy under those circumstances to just let things roll along until you find that you've made promises and commitments you're ill prepared to keep. You are exploring aspects of yourself that are VERY important -- fundamental really. You should carefully avoid making promises to your boyfriend until you're confident you know what they mean to you. You should take some time to consider what promises you have already made -- explicitly or implicitly. There's no shame in acting outside of un made commitments or rules you haven't agreed to. But there is, I think, in doing so if you HAVE agreed. If you have, I think you need to talk to your boyfriend. If you haven't but are contemplating doing things he'd be surprised or unhappy about, you need to talk to him and get yourself more space. That talk won't be easy, but it's very important and you'll be both proud and thankful for having it (albeit probably not immediately). Good Luck Ame
  5. Amethyst753

    It has been forever :o

    @naruto: Welcome back. We hate to lose members and are always grateful when they return -- perhaps with new ideas and wiser. I suppose, since you've been here before, "welcome" isn't really appropriate, so maybe: Happy To See You Again Ame
  6. Amethyst753

    New and feeling overwhelmed.....

    @just_me_laurie: Welcome to the forum. It enriches our community to have new voices, new viewpoints, and new experiences. We hope you'll look around, become comfortable, and share your thoughts. I'm sorry about the issues you're having with your friend. I think you will find this to be a common dilemma for women interested in a married woman. As a married woman, the relationship you imagine is likely to be very problematical for her. The distancing you're sensing might have much less to do with you and much more to do with her relationship with her husband. I think you're wise not to pressure her, but I think a good and kind friend would reach out and express concern for her and ask in a non-pressured way if there was anything you could do to help. Good Luck, and once again Welcome Ame
  7. Amethyst753


    @Reptilelover: I perceive you to be sort of in the middle of the commitment scale. On the one hand, you have a boyfriend but you're not married to him. On the other, you have children with him so, one way or another, you're likely to be connected to him for a loonnnggg time. I would only offer one caution, and I do so from my own experience: Marriage is a formal commitment to another person, and it comes with it "promises"; some of which are explicit ("in sickness and in health"), and some are implicit, by which I mean both parties understand the promise has been made, even if it's not directly spoken. Monogamy is often in this latter category. My advice is to think very, very carefully about what promises you're prepared to make, and be completely clear with your boyfriend concerning them. Of course, things change over time and it's sometimes possible to re-negotiate your promises, but in my experience, and from reading many posts here, it's often MUCH HARDER to do that than you might expect. Think Carefully, Promise Wisely, and Good Luck Ame
  8. Amethyst753

    New and figuring things out

    @Dutchess607: Actually I never feel guilty about being on the site or about the communications I have with women friends here or elsewhere. I promised by husband monogamy, which I've found difficult. But I NEVER promised to give up my intellectual freedom. I mention this only because I think it's important that if you feel guilty, you're clear about why. Ambiguity in these things leads to baseless unhappiness and guilt. One Woman's View Ame
  9. Amethyst753

    Hi, new here

    @barbie!girl; As @Cute&Curious has said, I think you've come to the right place. Many, if not most, women in this community, including me, are is situations similar to yours. We're trying to balance a romantic, often marital, relationship with a man against string desires for a woman. I don't think there is a single, right, answer to this dilemma. Each woman must try to find a path that works for her, her SO, and their relationship. But Shy's does described endless options, and viewpoints from others that are going your way. Welcome Again and let us have your viewpoints when you're ready. Ame
  10. Amethyst753

    Going down - on a man

    As the mother of two boys, I do worry about this, but I have to wonder if this is truly worse, or merely change. I have it on good authority from an elderly ob/gyn that 30 or 40 years ago almost all men, and most women, had no idea what a clitoris was. Now they ALL do. I have to agree that learning about sex (the activity, not the anatomy) from porn isn't optimal, but do we believe that silent groping, accompanied by heavy breathing, in the back seats of cars yielded better lovers? Not So Sure Ame
  11. Amethyst753


    @Feefee81: Try: After you've logged on, there's a little arrow to the right of you logon name at the top right corner of the screen. Click the arrow and select "Profile" On the left side of your profile page is the picture that's displayed on your profile and alongside your posts. There's a teeny little square thingy just below the pic. Click it You'll get the option to upload a pic from your computer or pull one in from the internet. If you select the former, you'll be able to put in the directory and file name where the pictures resides on you computer. The latter and you can enter a URL (e.g. HTTP://pics.hotties.com). Either way the site will pull your picture in (if it can) and display it on your profile and posts Everyone, including you, will be able to see it. You may wish to be cautious about using a "real" picture. Many of us use Anime or stock pics of others to avoid having our real image on the internet. Your choice Good Luck Ame
  12. Amethyst753

    New girl on the block

    Welcome @Feefee81. We're always happy to see new new people and hear new voices. Please take your time and look around the site. When you're comfortable, we'd love to hear from you. All perspectives are welcome. You'll find that there are many bi-curious, married women here and many are grappling with the same dilemmas you are. Seem to be lots of Aussies too. I suspect @Rani knows them all (lol). Good to See You and Welcome Again Ame
  13. Amethyst753

    Hello there, everyone!

    @Paigelosophy: Welcome. You'll find a lot of company for your thoughts ad situation here. Take your time and read posts and responses in the various forums, especially the one provided by married bi-women. I think you'll find that many of us are fellow travelers. We look forward to hearing from you; to you adding your voice to the community. Welcome Again Ame
  14. @Rani: As you say, good kissing depends more on the kisser than gender. One of my most memorable ones was from a boy -- he was my High School boyfriend and it was the first time he kissed me. I'd been hoping he would for months and when it happened I did, literally, go weak in the knees. But if forced, I suppose I'd say women are the best kissers. For men, a kiss is most often a way point on the path to something they care more about. In my experience with women, the kiss can be an end in itself, lasting a wonderful forever. So, it's a mixed bag, but I try to never turn down a good one. Ame
  15. Amethyst753

    My youngest memory...

    Yes! What @blueberry said.