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Dancing_Butterflies last won the day on January 19 2014

Dancing_Butterflies had the most liked content!

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About Dancing_Butterflies

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    Big Tease
  • Birthday 02/18/1983

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    Florida USA

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  1. My step father isn't too accepting of LGBT and this bothers me so much. I'm bisexual and I know if he ends up finding out he'll get upset. He knows about my attraction towards woman, yet he thinks it's just a phase which it's not. I've only dated one woman in my entire life due to me being so shy and not picking up on cues when a woman is flirting with me. My mother however is very accepting and told me if I ever ended up having a relationship with a woman, she'd be supportive. Sometimes this puts fear in me cause I love my father very much, yet his views is backwards and thinks it's all wrong. Anytime I hear his comments or anything, I'm deeply upset by them. I end up simply walking away and not saying a thing because I know where the conversation will lead. Anytime I meet a woman I connect with, I continue with it and happy. However sometimes their only looking to fool around which I want more. My father continues to tell me that it's wrong and sinful.... and I think differently. I'm sure there's others out there who are in the same position as I am. No matter what I say, I know he won't change and see my side to it. Sometimes I think if I do end up with a woman, he'll completely disown me and won't talk to me anymore. I'm thinking if that does happen, than there's nothing much more I can do cause I want to be happy, not miserable and have someone else's opinion ruin my happiness. I never gotten this off of my chest before cause so many people told me that I should just be with a man regardless and that a woman couldn't make me happy in the end. I'm looking for support here. Does anyone else know how I feel or been through this? With Family? Friends? Co-workers?
  2. Central Florida here too.
  3. Well sure I've have, lol!! I'm single so I've done it many of times and never gotten caught. Anytime I do it I was always picture myself with a woman. And this has been going on since my teenage years. That's how I knew this wasn't just a fantasy of mine, it was something that I wanted. Woman are beautiful.
  4. I'm simply looking for a woman to love me for who I am as a person and to accept me. I've only had a relationship with one woman and I'd like to be in a relationship with a woman again. The problem is I'm deeply shy and it's hard to put myself out there. I've tried a few dating sites but it was simply just girls looking to cyber or something. I'm looking for a relationship.
  5. I was abused by years. I think it was six years on and off. Sometimes my memory is so jaded by the abuse. Anytime I tried to leave he would threaten me, emotional blackmail me or threaten to kill me. I won't say a lot in here because I don't want to upset anyone. On November 8th he disappeared on me and I'll never forget what he said.... "Nobody else will ever love you. Because your so F- up!" Those words repeat in my head a lot and I have horrible nightmares too. Sometimes I have really good days and other days all I do is cry. The pain hurts so much. I'll cry my eyes out till the point my stomach hurts. He was emotionally and verbally abusive to me, he gaslighted me, poured alcohol over my head and told me I was fat when I honestly wasn't fat at all. Anytime I spoke up for myself, he would disappear as a form of punishment. Other times I remember him speeding down the road full speed to try to scare me. I'd reach for the door handle and grip it tight in case we died or we got into a car accident. My heart would be racing so fast. I've tried to leave so many times and the threats got worse and worse each time. Overtime I got panic attacks and now I'm in this deep dark depression. Many people don't really speak to me anymore and I can understand this. I don't expect much from people at all. I just want friends, maybe talk about other topics or someone who truly understands how I feel. But many people think I'll drag them down by my PTSD symptoms. Anytime I know I'm getting bad, I log offline and focus on art. And if I need to cry, I wait till I'm alone in my room and cry out my heart. It's not good to bottle things in anyways. Just hope there's someone out there who truly understands how I feel and won't be judgmental or tell me that I deserve it.
  6. This has happened to me once before and it turns out my ex boyfriend was cheating on me and seeing someone else on the side. I ended up catching onto it because he was getting a lot of weird texts from other girls and always bringing his phone anywhere he went or getting paranoid when his phone went off. Once he asked me, if I knew who was calling him and I knew he was lying, lol. The person who was calling him was the girl he was seeing. I'm not angry at her at all, if anything I'm mad at him for doing that to both of us. In the end she left him too, lol. People just end up disappearing because they don't want to tell the person the truth and end up hurting them which I think it's a cowardly way of getting out of a relationship. They figure the person will take the hint and move on. When people do this, you should be glad it's over and find someone who won't pull that sort of thing with you. I've a true believer in respecting people and speaking the truth. The truth may hurt yes, but I think it's always best to tell the person how you truly feel and what went wrong, or why you chose not to be with them any longer. Sometimes people even pull away from relationships due to fear of commitment, scared of getting abandoned or they met someone else which sucks. If you meet someone on line, be very cautious and get to know the person for awhile before stepping into a serious commitment with them.
  7. I've been sick before, but I think this ear infection for me is the worse since it's my face. Yesterday I'm so glad I pulled through because my whole side of my face was hurting from my ear becoming infected. I feel stupid but I had no idea that you could get an ear infection due to sinuses. Since I live in Florida I have problems dealing with allergies. So I'm drinking lots of water as of right now and got plenty of rest. Has anyone else had an ear infection before? Only asking because this pain for me yesterday was so unbearable that I thought I'd end up in the ER from the pain. Know that seems very dramatic, lol but I don't deal with pain very well. So now I'm hoping that I recover from this especially since Christmas is coming up. How long does it usually take to heal?
  8. Oh so there is a chat room? I'm just not seeing it because I'm on a different browser? Right now I'm using Opera since Chrome has been messing up for me lately.
  9. Yes, I'd like to be in a serious relationship with a woman. I just want to find the right person and see if we both connect with each other. I've never been the type of girls who fools around or has flings. I've always liked serious relationships more so than just fooling around. It all depends on what your looking for and make sure you state what you're looking for with the other person so nobody ends up getting hurt in the end. Plus there's been times where I try to flirt with a woman and she ends up telling me she's straight or she's in a serious relationship. So I think it's all depends on who I meet and see if there's any connection between us. For now I'm staying single until I find the right person.
  10. I have a hard time talking to woman in general. Especially if I find them interesting. I'm not sure on what to say or start a conversation with them. I've only dated one woman in my whole life and now I just feel stumped on how to talk to woman in general. I've always found woman very very interesting and I'd like to have dates with them or get into a relationship since I find woman beautiful, I just don't know how to go about it. I'm so shy and anytime I meet anyone new, I freeze up, get tense and don't say anything. My shyness has literally destroyed my chances in the past and it still continues to do so. My whole life I've been quiet, I get very awkward in chat rooms too if I ever go to a lesbian/bisexual chat room. End up leaving and feeling stupid. So I always use social media to help me break out of my shell. One day I'm sure something will come my way. Just being shy does get frustrating.