Since so many of you have unrequited crushes thought you might have an insight into what's happened to me. I'm in a weird numb emotional state at the moment and wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation. I've been in love / madly infatuated with my straight (bi-curious maybe) friend for well over 5 years. We became good friends but she wasn't interested in anything more. I accepted that and settled for a very one-sided friendship. I would do most of the organising of get togethers and I put far more into 'us' than she ever did. I could never bare the thought of not having her in my life so I was willing to always do more for her. Guess I was like a love sick puppy.
Now after many years of this set-up I've finally come to realise just how unhealthy this relationship is. And although there is still some attraction there I have fallen out of infatuation with her. Its like everything I admired and thought about her has just dropped away and instead of thinking she is this amazing Goddess of a woman I now see her for what she is, flawed like the rest of us ! In fact she has treated me quite poorly on many an occasion, but I always forgave. She is doesn't have the qualities that make a friend and its taken me this long to come out of an all encompassing 'spell'.
It has to be for the best that this has ended, as it has been very emotionally exhausting. But I am left feeling anxious and very lost. I've cried a lot, felt angry and now just a bit confused. I should be feeling liberated, right ? What's going on. ?