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About nurse0128

  • Rank
    Big Tease
  • Birthday 01/28/1978

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  • Music
    Pink, Taylor Swift, Lady Antebellum
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    Ellen, Grey's Anatomy, Wentworth
  • Favourite Film
    Pretty Woman

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  1. nurse0128

    Looking for advice

    @these-broken-wings(TBW) thank you for your reply. I think part of what you said is right although I honestly don't think she is playing mind games with me because I basically asked her that straight out a few days after things went a little too far in the car. I said that I didn't want to be strung along if she has no intention or us never being more than friends. I am definitely the one that's like a horny teenager and I think that's only because she is my first real experience. She has had many in the past so it's not the same for her. There are times I really struggle with what I'm feeling for her, the emotions can be crazy at times and she truly feels bad for me but I assure her that I'm ok. As for her husband this has absolutely nothing to do with him. She isn't happy at home and hasn't been for a long time. He knows about her attraction to women and all her past experiences. At this point I think she would love to be able to give me what I want but she knows she can't given everything else that she's dealing with so she feels bad knowing that I'm struggling and she can't return the feelings and emotions.
  2. nurse0128

    Looking for advice

    @MusicLove1044 we didn't have much choice on sharing a room because they only allow 3 adults per room and she's the only one I really know who's going on the trip. As for any comments she makes she pretty careful about what she says and that's only because I know she doesn't want to lead me on when she knows she can't follow through right now because of all the stress she's dealing with in her personal life. I'm hoping something will happen again even if it's just kissing and touching given that we're going to be drinking a lot and she definitely knows that I'm up for it so fingers crossed
  3. nurse0128

    Looking for advice

    Thank you @Always_29 that is definitely my plan. I try to gauge where she's at every now and then. I am hoping that by taking a step back for the past 6 months and just focusing on building a close friendship that she will see that I'm not just interested in a fling. I tend to overanalyze things she says from time to time but I'm afraid to push the subject of will anything happen between us again. I did bring it up a few months ago and she said she just can't get her head into right now because she's feeling overwhelmed by so many others things. She said she just wants friendship right now and can't be sure if that will ever change but she needs and values my friendship and hopes that's enough. When she invited me on this trip I wasn't sure I wanted to go because I was afraid it would be too hard to be around her that much without being able to touch her but decided to step out of my comfort zone and go. She also said that since it was a group trip her husband would be ok with it and she figured it would be a good way for us to go away together. We will also be celebrating her birthday while we are away.
  4. Here's a little of my back story http://www.shybi.com/forums/index.php?/topic/119626-adviceideas/&do=findComment&comment=1783105 http://www.shybi.com/forums/index.php?/topic/120053-how-do-i-turn-off-my-feelings/ Now a group of girls (11 in total) are going away on vacation for a week in November. Her and I are sharing a room and if I'm being totally honest I'm really hoping that something happens between us again because I'm aching to touch her and have her touch me. Do you think there's a chance of anything happening or do I just need to forget about it every happening again
  5. So I told her yesterday that I've been trying to turn off my feelings for her but I just can't seem to completely. She totally understands and feels horrible for starting something with me that she can't finish. She is always so understanding about everything and said that she would never ever be upset about my feelings because they are mine and I'm entitled to them regardless of what they are. I think eventually I'll be able to forget these feelings and just be friends but as she also said regardless of what kind of relationship we have she will never be a typical friend. So going forward I'm going to try really hard to not look at her as anymore than a friend but I know it's not going to be easy some days because there are days I just crave some kind of physical contact from her whether it be a hug, holding her hand or resting my hand on her leg. I'm sure none of that is a good idea but I've waited over 40 years for a friendship like this.
  6. @contessmed I agree that it's hard to go back to being just friends even though our physical relationship didn't last that long. I know I felt/feel a deep intimacy however I am not sure how she truly feels. I can't ask her because I know she's just dealing with too much right now. I have caught her on several occasions looking at my boobs though and she has started hugging me a bit more. I am wondering if she's noticed that I have pulled back on any flirting and physical contact with her though. Honestly I don't know what to think anymore. I just wish that every now and then we could kiss and touch each other :(
  7. Thank you @these-broken-wings(TBW) for reply. I think you're right and I never thought of her maybe not wanting to go down this road with me because she knows she has too much going on and ultimately doesn't want to hurt me which she has said she is afraid of doing in the past. She is very good at hiding her true feelings about everything so it's nearly impossible to get a good read of her. We definitely have a very open dialogue with each other and I have made it quite clear that I would like more from our friendship but she just can't get her head in the game right now. I am doing my best to not think of her in any way other than as a platonic friend but sometimes it's hard. I often think that maybe if we spent less time together and didn't text all day everyday that things would be easier. The problem is that I enjoy spending time with her and I look forward to a good morning text every day. I have stopped any physical contact with her over the past few weeks but it's also hard because I want to touch her so badly some days. I thought when I was lucky enough to meet someone and things seemed to be going so well that it would continue and everything I had wanted for so long it would be great but unfortunately that's not the case and part of me is wishing we never had any type of intimacy.
  8. Hi Ladies, I'm 41 married with kids and have been bicurious for about 10 years now. All of my close friends now and have all been so amazing and supportive. I had honestly given up on ever meeting anyone and making my fantasies a reality. I had decided that I wouldn't tell any new friends I met for fear of rejection and them treating me differently. Well a new girl started at my job 18 months ago and I found her quite attractive and interesting. She's 46, married and her kids are moved out. We casually talked about life and general chit chat while at work but nothing else. About 5 months ago we started texting regularly and long story short she asked if I was into girls because she had a instinct. I admitted that I did and she was totally fine with it because as it turns out she's bi and has had several experiences over the past 15 years or so. Her home life is complicated right now so we agreed to just be friends as she wasn't ready for anything more and we didn't want to make things awkward at work if things didn't work out between us and neither of us wanted to ruin our friendship that had gotten really close really fast as we have so much in common it's crazy. The attraction was so strong between us that we have been flirting on a daily basis, sending pics to each other. We went out a couple months ago for the first time and we couldn't stop checking each other out, she kept touching me and rubbed her hand on my thigh. When I dropped her off she gave me a hug and kissed me goodbye. Since that night things escalated quite quickly. We went shopping a few weeks after that because she needed new bras for a trip. We had been texting and teasing each other all day so when we got to the dressing room she asked if I wanted to come in with which of course I did. She changed right in front of me which it self was amazing and when she was done she took my hand and put it on her boob for me too feel. We finished up, went for dinner and drove home. When she dropped me off we had a quick kiss goodbye and she had a quick feel of my boobs. I felt like a horny teenager the whole time she was gone because I couldn't stop thinking about everything. I asked her to send me pics of her in her bikini and she did which obviously didn't help matters lol. After she got home from her vacation we were out together one night and on the drive home I asked her to pull over on a backroad which she did. I had only planned on us kissing a bit and letting her look and play with my boobs but things went a lot further than that. We both ended up topless, kissing, touching and sucking each others boobs. Anyway not long after that she apologized for letting things go that far because she shouldn't have knowing she wasn't in the head space for it and knowing it would just make me want more given that it was my first experience with a woman. We have talked about things on and off but have agreed to just be friends right now. She it totally fine with me flirting with her and holding her hand but feels bad not wanting to return it. So my question is how do I turn off my feelings towards her? Most days I am totally fine just being friends but other days I can't stop fantasizing and looking at her pics. I absolutely don't want to lose her as a friend but sometimes it's just so hard not to touch her. Advice please :(
  9. Do you think you can still be friends with her? Can you turn off "those" feelings? I know first hand how hard it is especially since I was actually given a taste of what being with a woman is like. It's definitely not an easy thing to just turn off but if her friendship means that much to you you'll find a way and who knows maybe in the future things will change and progress into something more than just friendship.
  10. Do you think maybe you're trying to rush things with her instead of just seeing if something happens naturally with her? She already knows you find her attractive and you'd possibly be interested in something more than just friends. I know how hard it is to be around someone you're attracted to and not constantly think about touching them but in all honesty I think the more time you spend together hanging out and having fun as friends the easier it will become for you. Just be yourself and don't be afraid to tell her how you feel. Can I ask what it is you're wanting to do with her? I mean right now would you just be happy with holding her hand or are you craving more?
  11. What about just starting off slow and see how it goes. See how you feel and how she feels by something as simple as holding her hand when you're driving or at the movies together. I know what's it's like to have a scenario built up in your head about what you hope will happen but from my experience it doesn't work like that. You're likely not just going to be sitting on the couch chatting and she's going to jump you. You either need to be up front with her and tell her what you're true feelings are and that you're open to seeing where your friendship leads if that's something she'd be interested in but at the end of the day you need to be prepared to be able to just be her friend if she has no interest or intention of it going any further. I know how scary all of this can be with overthinking everything!! Hopefully she remembers what it was like for her when she came out and was dealing the same thoughts and feelings. I would suggest talking to her honestly or aside from that just reaching over and holding her hand the next time you can and see what her reaction is.
  12. I went through/am going through a very similar situation and honestly my advice is to just talk to her open and honestly about everything you're thinking and feeling because you might be pleasantly surprised by her response to a lot of it. If she's openly bi then believe me she likely not going to be bothered by much if any of what you tell her. I feel the same way about my friend and like you I didn't want to hug her sometimes because I was afraid I wouldn't want to let go. The same goes for holding her hand, touching her leg and kissing her. We have had plenty of conversations about how we feel and right now she's not in the same place as I am but has absolutely no problem with me holding her hand or flirting with her whenever I need/want to. I've told her that I have always craved physical contact from a close friend and she's the first one I have ever been attracted to and felt incredibly comfortable with. I hope that my experiences helps you a little bit in figuring out how to proceed. Believe me I understand how difficult all of these feelings are to figure out.
  13. I could've written this myself about my current situation with my friend. However in my case we already know that we both have feelings for each other and have gotten pretty hot and heavy once. She's trying to figure out some things within her marriage so we have agreed to slow things down. I will still flirt with her, hold her hand when I can and even steal a kiss every now and then. For the most part it's enough for me but there are days that I want more but like you @MusicLove1044 I'm respecting her rules right now.
  14. What if he absolutely disapproves of it? Are you going to be ok with that?
  15. I agree with almost everything @Ona has said. I am in a similar situation with a friend however the feelings are mutual but my husband doesn't know. I have been struggling with this bicuriousity for many years and it's only been the past few months since I've known her that I feel like I can finally be myself, especially around her. Anyway my advice to you would be to have an open and honest conversation with your friend about your feelings and what you would like from your friendship. If she doesn't feel the same way about you and just wants a platonic friendship then there's your answer. You said that you've never had feelings for a woman until her so I'm not sure you should know tell your SO about your attraction that may or may not be reciprocated until you and her figure out where your friendship is headed. I hope that makes sense.