Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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About Ty2254

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  • Birthday 08/17/1981

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  1. This is how I look at it.... God loves us for who we are right? Regardless of all the other stuff, that should still stand true right? I cannot imagine every gay, lesbian, bi person will go to hell based solely on sexual preference. That is just my opinion. I’m not very reglious, I don’t go to church but I do believe in God. I just don’t believe I’m going to hell just bc I like women.
  2. I completely understand where you are coming from. I’m married and truly do love my husband. We have been together for 15 years. I discovered I was bi probably 4 years ago. I’ve always kinda knew but I was taught that it is wrong and not something you do. So I ignored those feelings for years. Until someone came along and I could no longer ignore them. I feel for her hard. My best friend of course. I love her deeply too. I will say that loving two people is HARD! Really hard! Sounds amazing but difficult. She has feelings for me too but she is now single and doesn’t want to be alone. I’m married so what can I really do, I can’t always be there for her like I want to be. So she is now looking for a man and it’s tearing me apart. I understand you not wanting to have sex with someone you don’t have feelings for. I can’t do that either. Which is why I’ve waited so long and even when I had the chance I didn’t do it. I wanted to save that for her. And even when I got the chance I clammed up and didn’t do everything I wanted to. I guess what one trying to say I’d be careful, loving two people is hard! When all 3 of us are together, I just look at both of them and wonder how I can truly love both and I do. They both have a huge piece of my heart. But knowing I cannot be with one the way I want to kills me.
  3. Do what you feel ok with. Don’t let him push you to do something your not ready for. Or not on your terms, is a better way to put it. If you do, you will probably regret it later or it not be what you thought it would be. I give you the reason why I say this. I knew I was Bi in high school (I’m 36 now), but I was taught that it was wrong. Met and feel in love with my husband never thought about it really at all after that point. Fast forward to about 4 years ago. I feel for my best friend, hard.... Her boyfriend at the time tore us apart. We didn’t speak for 15 months. Another friend of mine knew I was crushed, and knew how I felt about her (mine my best friend and I hadn’t done anything besides kiss at this point). She wanted to make me get over it. One night she just would not stop flirting with me. Things got heated up pretty good and we fooled around a couple of times. I never let myself go all the way with her bc I didn’t want my first time to be like that. We did have fun but I wanted it to be with my best friend. Now her boyfriend is out of the pic and we are back to where we used to be plus progressed in our own relationship in that way, I’m really regretting what I did. I’m a lot like you I need that connection with someone before I can have sex with them. After being friends for so long and finally experiencing that side of each other other, was truly amazing. Hold out until you find what you are looking for!
  4. You hit the nail on the head with feeling guilty. I already was feeling that the next morning. I'm pretty sure he is ok with it. He hasn't been one to want to talk about it but he knows. All of the kissing started literally right in front of him. It all started in front of him. He knows about the make out sessions and everything. I know he won't be surprised. She comes over and she cuddles with me etc. I just need to get that part off my chest and it doesn't help that she keeps saying don't tell him. But they have their own little banter and sure enough I know he would bring it up. Not sure how I'm going to handle this yet. Have to find the right time to mention it.
  5. As far as what she wants.... I dunno she isn't one that wants to define things and she told me to stop trying to analyze it, just as you said too. Up to this point even kissing me sober wasn't happening. We skipped that altogether and went straight for it all! I'm thinking more of a friends with benefits thing. But our relationship is so complex. We have been through so much and we always find ourselves right back together and the attraction only seems to grow with time. It's slowly progressed but progressed a lot over time. I know I know what to do. I think I was honestly in shock as I wasn't expecting it. All I was really looking for was cuddling, I got way more then that! She wanted me to go down on her and I couldn't bring myself to do it bc, she has been very outspoken about how she couldn't do it to a woman. I think that could change over time. I guess it's going to be one of those situations where I just need to just go for it and see what happens. I think our issue is we are both receivers in our relationships with men. Guess it's time to be a giver. I do agree I think we need to explore a little bit before we jump into toys. We are both new to this and we need to do this without that for now. Thank you for helping me figure some of this out!
  6. I haven't posted anything in awhile bc nothing has been going on in my life, lol. So, I will give everyone a brief background story. I've been falling for my best friend for the past 3-4 years. We have had our ups and downs and she has hurt me twice in the past to the point we didn't speak for for long periods of times (each time was a year). It was hard and she really hurt me. It was due to an abusive relationship which she is know out of. She is back in my life and things have been going well. In the past we have had a couple of intense make out sessions. But she always said that is as far as she wants to take it. I was ok with that. Don't going to say I didn't think about it, but I was ok with that. Since she has been back in my life we have only kissed a couple of times. No making out or anything just a kiss here and there. Until now.... This weekend we went to dinner just the two of us. I had prepared myself for nothing but dinner and then I would come home. Didn't want to get my hopes up for a kiss and get nothing. After dinner I ended up staying and we played Nintendo and actually had a really good night, just us without any kids. I had texted my husband earlier and told him I was going to spend the night. About 1 am, still no affection at all. Normally she cuddles with me on the couch but not this time. I had just given up. I said "let's go to bed, I'm tired". We go get in bed and she is on one side and I'm way on the other. I finally asked her to come over there with me. She rolls over and starts cuddling with me. Then she kisses me. Which turns into a major make out session. Then she tells me she doesn't have on any panties. Mind we have never done anything. Next thing I know she is rubbing herself on me..... ummmmmm.... ok..... was not expecting this!!! So we fool around and play with one another. But we had no fucking clue what we were doing!!! How do we not know what to do???? We were both so lost! I've read so many lesbian books, I have watched tv. Like how do I not know what to do??? Still pretty sure we both enjoyed it. But we are clueless. I've waited for this day for so long and no idea what to do? So I need some advice ladies, how do we do this? The next morning we did fool around a little bit more and cuddled and held each other. It was truly amazing. I loved it! She wants to get some toys so we can explore with those. But we are going to need a little more help! I have another question? my husband knows about our kissing and stuff. I haven't told him about the other night though. He has mentioned in the past that he didn't care. That he didn't care if we went down on each other. Which we didn't by the way. Do I just come out and tell him? I don't know what to there either. My next concern is, what if she meets someone? I don't know how I would handle this. It already feels like we crossed that line and is more of some sort of relationship. Phone calls have increased, talking more about sex in text messages. This is coming from a woman that wouldn't even kiss me sober to this woman that has fully opened up. I don't know how to act. Being Bi truly is way harder then I ever thought. I love my husband, he is amazing and I'm still very much attracted to him. I didn't prepare myself for this, it just happened. I really didn't think it was a possibility. I need some advise ladies!
  7. I've debated this several times over the past few years. I still don't have a straight answer. But when I'm sitting on the couch and I have my husband on one side and my "girlfriend" on the other. I think to myself that I do truly love them both. It tears me apart more the anything. It's hard. I guess if I had to put a percentage I would say 60/40. 60 being straight.
  8. Not really all that close, but I'm in Columbus Ga
  9. Glad to know I'm not alone. My husband did not like it at all. I tried to tell him I didn't have any control over it. It just happened. I was thinking you should take this as a compliment, lol.
  10. You hit the nail on the head for me! Describes me perfectly! I kinda knew I was bisexual as a teenager but I never acted on it and my parents were so against that kinda thing that it was pushed to the back burner so to speak. Never really thought much about it again. Got married to a wonderful guy that I love dearly! Had two girls that run our world. Did not hit me again until my then 4 year old met a friend at school. Play dates started and about a year into our extremely close friendship I fell for her. She has feelings for me too which makes things even more complicated. We make out a lot but don't take it any further. I so want to, but she is so against it for some reason. Husband is ok with it I guess. He says he is, but I don't know. The 3 of us are close in general. We do a lot of things together. She goes on family vacations etc. it's really hard sometimes. But I am more attracted to women then men as well.
  11. Anyone else cry after sex? Completely out of your control? Not all the time, it has only happened to me maybe 3 or 4 times in my life. It's after really intense sex and much needed enjoyable sex. It happened to me last night and it freaked my husband out. Probably bc one of the times it happened I got pregnant with our first, lol. Just wondering if this happens to anyone else.
  12. My first time caught me off guard. Wasn't expecting it really. A friend was over and planned to spend the night. We had fooled around a little before but not a lot. She had been drinking so I walked her to the spare bedroom. I left the room and stopped myself in the hallway. I turned around and went back in there and asked her if she wanted me to stay. I knew this might be a possibility bc I had missed my chance before and she later informed me of that. She said yes and I claimed I. The bed with her. Guess you know what happened next! It wasn't really want I was expecting, but I did enjoy it. Only thing I kinda regret is I didn't let her go down on me and damn if she didn't try multiple times. I didn't either but we sure did do everything else you could imagine. I really want to save that for my best friend (which we have always had a thing for each other, but weren't speaking at the time due to her abusive boyfriend). So I didn't. My best friend claims she doesn't want to do that, but things get pretty hot and heavy with her so maybe one day!
  13. We just make out really but it's at one of our houses. Normally in a pool, lol. Something about a pool Another friend who is married, we had a thing for a little bit. Mainly happened at my house, as that is where we mainly hang out at. We did a lot more then kiss though! So to answer you question at my house or theirs. Both of my experiences have been with females that "aren't Bi" so it was spur of the moment occasions.
  14. I debated if I wanted to let her back in. She hurt me a lot the past few years. Wasn't there for me when my Dad died even though I reached out to her. Stopped all contact with me two separate times. No reason no nothing, just stopped. So it was hard. Deep down I know I was never the issue it was him. But that doesn't stop my pain. I know she has been through a lot too. Just messed up. The only reason she hasn't stopped all contact and blocked him is bc he still owes her money and bc they lived with each other for so long they have household bills/ etc to work out. So when something happens for example. Her daughter's diabetes supplies did not show up and she couldn't figure out why. Come to find out he had stopped the mail! That's life or death for her so she had to. Luckily she was able to borrow some from a diabetes support group but what an ass! Hoping soon he move 10 hours away as there isn't anything here for him, all his family is away and he hates his job and his daughter is 10 hours away as well. So hoping by Christmas he is gone!
  15. After that she broke ties with me bc of him. But has recently (as in the past month) came back around and we have been spending a lot of time together. Just one kiss so far but I'm hoping once she gets over all the crap he put her through things will get hot and heavy again!