Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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About Ty2254

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  • Birthday 08/17/1981

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  1. I really do not have a female... Male is Will Smith. I have had a crush on him for a long time!
  2. I’m in a similar situation however my best friend and I have had sex a couple of times and we both have feelings for one another. But more often then not it’s more one sided on my part. She is single and I’m married. She knows it cannot be and I know that too. We process and look at things completely different. I have learned this. But one major thing that stood out to me was “I cannot lose her”. Please don’t base things on this. I felt this way for so long with her. She left me twice (a year both times). You know what I learned? I can survive without her, I don’t need her. The first time I was heart broken, she left bc she was in an abusive relationship and I wanted to get her out of it and she wasn’t having it. Second time she was still with him and we tried to make it work, he caught us making out with our boobs out in the pool. Needless to say that kinda put an end to us hanging out. We hadn’t talked in a month or so and hadn’t seen each other in 2 and I couldn’t handle it. As luck would have it on the day I tried to end things, my dad passed away. How did she handle that? She called and cussed me out. My feelings went out the window that day. Fast forward a year and guess what? She is back and he is gone. I’m still hurt, but I’m pushing through it. Back to my point. Don’t be afraid of losing her. If it’s meant to be it will, if not life goes on. The relief I feel now from not being afraid of losing her is the best feeling in the world. The other thing I have learned is don’t wait on her to call text just bc she normally does by that time. If you want to talk or just say “hey, what are you doing today” then do it. I used to be the same way. What I discovered is I was making myself miserable by doing these things. It would seriously impact my entire day. I no longer do that. If I want to talk I will call or text her. If not I won’t. I know none of this is easy. Trust me I know, I’ve been there and through this. But just think about it. Even if you don’t do it, keep it in the back of your head. Will life be the same without her if she left? No it won’t, but you will survive and make it through this
  3. I did twice. Both started out as strong friendships that turned into more than that. Met one at my daughters 4th birthday party of all places. I wasn’t looking for anything or even thought about a girl since high school. Over time I became extremely attracted to her and for her it was the same. I think we felt the same things around the same time. The other one worked at the hair salon I go to. She was the other stylist and we discovered our kids were in the same class. We started hanging out and became close as well. When number 1 up there broke me heart and I was crushed she helped me through it and one night came on to me super strong and it went from there for a little bit. It’s not impossible to meet women but it’s not always easy either. Don’t give up hope!
  4. It’s so frustrating. I’ve reached the point though that I know it’s never going to be what I want it to be. It is what it is. I’ve gone back and forth, maybe she does this bc she knows it cannot be. I mean I am married. But other times I think maybe she doesn’t want it. I dunno. One thing that has changed is I’m not afraid of losing her anymore. Which is huge on my part. I’m accepting it is what it is, and I’m not fighting for something more. We ended up sleeping together again this time with my husband right beside us which was very awkward. And I took that opportunity to tell him about the first time. That night though we were talking and she was all why doesn’t a guy want me and all this crap. She says you have it made you have the best of both worlds, you have a husband and a girlfriend. I said wait a minute, I don’t have you. She said yes you do, you have always had me you know that. I’m not reading to much into that. Im just looking at it as it’s something we may do from time to time but that’s as far as it goes. It will not be planned just something that happens. Do you live in Florida?
  5. I didn’t take it that way. I guess my response didn’t sound very nice. I’m sorry. Today has just been one of those days it hit kinda hard. The boy toy as I call him spent the night last night and they spent the whole day together. It just sucks. I’ve been avoiding her. I don’t really know what to say or do. A part of me feels guilty for feeling this way. I’m married and I cannot give her what she needs or wants. Yet I’m jealous I’m not the person. I really don’t have any right to feel this way. But it still stings.
  6. I know, easier said then done. Right now it’s easy to say that’s it. But when she goes to kiss me it’s going to be a lot harder to stick to that. Even though I know that is what I should do.
  7. I wish I could say yes but nothing else has happened. Not even a kiss. She met a guy that is 10 years younger and nothing permanent is going to come out of it but I guess they are just having fun. I dunno. I’m having a hard time with it. I’ve backed off a lot. So for now it’s back to square one. I think it’s time to let her go. Played this game for way to long and I’m just over it. I know it’s not over, it’s never over with her but for now it is.
  8. This is how I look at it.... God loves us for who we are right? Regardless of all the other stuff, that should still stand true right? I cannot imagine every gay, lesbian, bi person will go to hell based solely on sexual preference. That is just my opinion. I’m not very reglious, I don’t go to church but I do believe in God. I just don’t believe I’m going to hell just bc I like women.
  9. I completely understand where you are coming from. I’m married and truly do love my husband. We have been together for 15 years. I discovered I was bi probably 4 years ago. I’ve always kinda knew but I was taught that it is wrong and not something you do. So I ignored those feelings for years. Until someone came along and I could no longer ignore them. I feel for her hard. My best friend of course. I love her deeply too. I will say that loving two people is HARD! Really hard! Sounds amazing but difficult. She has feelings for me too but she is now single and doesn’t want to be alone. I’m married so what can I really do, I can’t always be there for her like I want to be. So she is now looking for a man and it’s tearing me apart. I understand you not wanting to have sex with someone you don’t have feelings for. I can’t do that either. Which is why I’ve waited so long and even when I had the chance I didn’t do it. I wanted to save that for her. And even when I got the chance I clammed up and didn’t do everything I wanted to. I guess what one trying to say I’d be careful, loving two people is hard! When all 3 of us are together, I just look at both of them and wonder how I can truly love both and I do. They both have a huge piece of my heart. But knowing I cannot be with one the way I want to kills me.
  10. Do what you feel ok with. Don’t let him push you to do something your not ready for. Or not on your terms, is a better way to put it. If you do, you will probably regret it later or it not be what you thought it would be. I give you the reason why I say this. I knew I was Bi in high school (I’m 36 now), but I was taught that it was wrong. Met and feel in love with my husband never thought about it really at all after that point. Fast forward to about 4 years ago. I feel for my best friend, hard.... Her boyfriend at the time tore us apart. We didn’t speak for 15 months. Another friend of mine knew I was crushed, and knew how I felt about her (mine my best friend and I hadn’t done anything besides kiss at this point). She wanted to make me get over it. One night she just would not stop flirting with me. Things got heated up pretty good and we fooled around a couple of times. I never let myself go all the way with her bc I didn’t want my first time to be like that. We did have fun but I wanted it to be with my best friend. Now her boyfriend is out of the pic and we are back to where we used to be plus progressed in our own relationship in that way, I’m really regretting what I did. I’m a lot like you I need that connection with someone before I can have sex with them. After being friends for so long and finally experiencing that side of each other other, was truly amazing. Hold out until you find what you are looking for!
  11. You hit the nail on the head with feeling guilty. I already was feeling that the next morning. I'm pretty sure he is ok with it. He hasn't been one to want to talk about it but he knows. All of the kissing started literally right in front of him. It all started in front of him. He knows about the make out sessions and everything. I know he won't be surprised. She comes over and she cuddles with me etc. I just need to get that part off my chest and it doesn't help that she keeps saying don't tell him. But they have their own little banter and sure enough I know he would bring it up. Not sure how I'm going to handle this yet. Have to find the right time to mention it.
  12. As far as what she wants.... I dunno she isn't one that wants to define things and she told me to stop trying to analyze it, just as you said too. Up to this point even kissing me sober wasn't happening. We skipped that altogether and went straight for it all! I'm thinking more of a friends with benefits thing. But our relationship is so complex. We have been through so much and we always find ourselves right back together and the attraction only seems to grow with time. It's slowly progressed but progressed a lot over time. I know I know what to do. I think I was honestly in shock as I wasn't expecting it. All I was really looking for was cuddling, I got way more then that! She wanted me to go down on her and I couldn't bring myself to do it bc, she has been very outspoken about how she couldn't do it to a woman. I think that could change over time. I guess it's going to be one of those situations where I just need to just go for it and see what happens. I think our issue is we are both receivers in our relationships with men. Guess it's time to be a giver. I do agree I think we need to explore a little bit before we jump into toys. We are both new to this and we need to do this without that for now. Thank you for helping me figure some of this out!
  13. I haven't posted anything in awhile bc nothing has been going on in my life, lol. So, I will give everyone a brief background story. I've been falling for my best friend for the past 3-4 years. We have had our ups and downs and she has hurt me twice in the past to the point we didn't speak for for long periods of times (each time was a year). It was hard and she really hurt me. It was due to an abusive relationship which she is know out of. She is back in my life and things have been going well. In the past we have had a couple of intense make out sessions. But she always said that is as far as she wants to take it. I was ok with that. Don't going to say I didn't think about it, but I was ok with that. Since she has been back in my life we have only kissed a couple of times. No making out or anything just a kiss here and there. Until now.... This weekend we went to dinner just the two of us. I had prepared myself for nothing but dinner and then I would come home. Didn't want to get my hopes up for a kiss and get nothing. After dinner I ended up staying and we played Nintendo and actually had a really good night, just us without any kids. I had texted my husband earlier and told him I was going to spend the night. About 1 am, still no affection at all. Normally she cuddles with me on the couch but not this time. I had just given up. I said "let's go to bed, I'm tired". We go get in bed and she is on one side and I'm way on the other. I finally asked her to come over there with me. She rolls over and starts cuddling with me. Then she kisses me. Which turns into a major make out session. Then she tells me she doesn't have on any panties. Mind we have never done anything. Next thing I know she is rubbing herself on me..... ummmmmm.... ok..... was not expecting this!!! So we fool around and play with one another. But we had no fucking clue what we were doing!!! How do we not know what to do???? We were both so lost! I've read so many lesbian books, I have watched tv. Like how do I not know what to do??? Still pretty sure we both enjoyed it. But we are clueless. I've waited for this day for so long and no idea what to do? So I need some advice ladies, how do we do this? The next morning we did fool around a little bit more and cuddled and held each other. It was truly amazing. I loved it! She wants to get some toys so we can explore with those. But we are going to need a little more help! I have another question? my husband knows about our kissing and stuff. I haven't told him about the other night though. He has mentioned in the past that he didn't care. That he didn't care if we went down on each other. Which we didn't by the way. Do I just come out and tell him? I don't know what to there either. My next concern is, what if she meets someone? I don't know how I would handle this. It already feels like we crossed that line and is more of some sort of relationship. Phone calls have increased, talking more about sex in text messages. This is coming from a woman that wouldn't even kiss me sober to this woman that has fully opened up. I don't know how to act. Being Bi truly is way harder then I ever thought. I love my husband, he is amazing and I'm still very much attracted to him. I didn't prepare myself for this, it just happened. I really didn't think it was a possibility. I need some advise ladies!
  14. I've debated this several times over the past few years. I still don't have a straight answer. But when I'm sitting on the couch and I have my husband on one side and my "girlfriend" on the other. I think to myself that I do truly love them both. It tears me apart more the anything. It's hard. I guess if I had to put a percentage I would say 60/40. 60 being straight.
  15. Not really all that close, but I'm in Columbus Ga