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About amsterrock

  • Rank
    Big Tease

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  • Location
    Los Angeles
  • Interests
    films, animation, video games, art, sight seeing, and corgis
  • Favourite Book
    Count of Monte Cristo
  • Favourite TV Show

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2,513 profile views
  1. amsterrock

    Heartbroken again

    I think it might be good to just step away. Do what you feel you need to do for your own emotional health. I recently listened to a podcast on this. I love doing questionaires with my husband because we get into deep conversations and i always learn something new about him. And apparently that s a good way to stay in love. Maybe give it a shot with your husband? https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html
  2. amsterrock

    Heartbroken again

    This is a frustrating situation for sure. But I can't help thinking that there's so many other variables that make this situation so complex. She s married, with a family. And although you re in the same situation, maybe she s struggling internally about it more. Even if the significant other is ok with it, she might still have guilt, regret, uncertainty, etc. Maybe she s having a harder time with this, even though she enjoys being with you (which makes it harder). Texting is safe because she can't cross those physical boundaries. Maybe you guys need to have a hard conversation about what you want. Set some rules and boundaries that make her more comfortable and that lay out expectations. I hope things get cleared up for you.
  3. Trying to guess what someone is feeling is very frustrating. I find it's easier to know for sure than to assume. So either try to figure out her orientation by asking vague questions like about her previous relationships, or people she s interested in. Or just casually ask her if she d like to go out. I find being straight forward and casual is the best way to avoid headaches. If you figure out where you stand before your feelings get too intense, it ll be easier to move on if needed.
  4. amsterrock

    Gave it a try...

    Maybe we should push each other to go to a meetup event. It s hard to get the courage to go alone, but if we re challenging each other to get out there, it could help?
  5. amsterrock

    Gave it a try...

    Ive recently ventured into the dating app scene as well. Figured I'd keep it for a month and then reassess, I feel like as a married woman there s not many ways to meet other women. I've chatted with a few women online, but it s slim pickings. Wish there was something more catered to our situation.
  6. Date tomorrow! Wish me luck! (or just to be not awkward)

    1. myladylove


      Good luck, hope it goes well. 

    2. ChemFem


      Don't think about all the ways you could embarrass yourself! Or pink elephants for that matter :p. In all seriousness you should be just fine.

    3. N00Bi


      Woohoo!! I'm happy for you. 

  7. amsterrock

    Dating Apps

    Anyone tried Her?
  8. amsterrock

    Dating Apps

    Yea, forgot to mention most sites will require paid membership to send or view messages.
  9. Hey everyone, Seems like we’re all wondering how to meet people. So since i tried a few sites, i thought i’d share my findings to help some of you that are brave enough to get out there. If you’ve tried apps/sites, feel free to add to this list. OkCupid - this site is very intuitive and well made. Even the app is great, although sometimes glitchy. I really liked the interface and the simplicity, and reasonably priced. It asks you a lot of questions to try and get the best matches. Highly recommend for single women. BiCupid.com - unfortunately this is not associated with the previous company. Site looks like it hasn't been updated in 20 years. The app looks better though. Not a lot of people on here, but a wide range of interests. A lot more expensive than the average. Polymatchmaker - again another basic site lacking an update. Most people seem to be couples looking for a third partner. Will have matches of people that haven't logged in in years because you cannot delete your account, just cancel the subscription. Craigslist - lots of posts looking for a quick hookup. If you're looking for pictures of vaginas, this is the place to go. Please be very cautious if you contact anyone on here. Meetup - big cities tend to have numerous groups catering to lgbt. Great place to get out of your comfort zone in a group setting.
  10. There's "friends with benefits", but there's also "girlfriend without benefits."

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. amsterrock


      It's always my current situation.

    3. N00Bi


      Sorry, friend. 

    4. amsterrock


      It s ok. I dont mind. I get to make someone feel special. 

  11. Tried dating apps, but it s hard finding anyone. Mostly just couples looking for a third, or singles looking for a relationship. 

    1. ChemFem


      You're back! :D sorry you're having bad luck on dating apps though.

    2. amsterrock


      lol, yea, things are busy. 


  12. amsterrock

    Board Games :)

    I just got the oregon trail playing cars. we ll see if that s any good at family christmas play day.
  13. Gotta ask you - what breed is that puppy in profile pic? (It's completely adorable!) :)

  14. Help! I want to kiss my friend. 

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. ChemFem


      I wouldn't recommend kissing her without context. You could mention that you have some attraction to her though. In my experience rejection based on orientation is actually easier to deal with for both parties than rejection for other reasons. Her being single simplifies matters somewhat.

    3. amsterrock


      Don't worry, guys, I don't even touch her. I'm so conscious of boundaries. But I think it would be pretty incredible. Maybe one day. 

    4. ChemFem


      Not worried at all, I was just indicating more general agreement with @BenedettaC. You seem like a very respectful and level-headed person, so I doubt you would do anything to make her uncomfortable.

  15. amsterrock

    Adult Lies

    So I might have deep seeded issues from my childhood :-P . But I turned out reasonably sane, I promise. These are sayings grown-ups used to say that now as an adult I disagree with. "You have to suffer to be beautiful." From waxing, to high heels, to spending hours of doing our hair, women go through a lot of pain to look "pretty." My mom's justification is that it's just the cost of being beautiful. I strongly disagree. I believe beauty is when we are truly ourselves. We are truly ourselves when we are comfortable and in our own element. We are the most comfortable when we are at our most natural, when our essence shines through. And that takes no work at all (maybe just a little courage). So I believe that being our beautiful selves is the easiest thing in the world. "All couples fight. It's just part of love." I guess this was a way to explain the fights our parents would get into. There was always a lot of yelling, sometimes things got broken (photo frames, lamps, walls....). I understand that life has it's struggles, it's not all unicorns and rainbows. But yelling only escalates things. As an adult in a relationship approaching a decade, I have discovered that not all couples fight, at least we don't. Does that mean we love each other less? Certainly not! It means when we disagree we don't get defensive, and we listen to the other person. There are times when I do close in, and need space in order to process my feelings, but I would never lash out at my partner. We're in this together. "Better to have loved and lost, than not loved at all." I hate this saying. A lot. I've gotten it many times from adults after a heartbreak, and it did not help in the least bit. It doesn't make sense to me, and brings little comfort. Was I suppose to feel lucky then? Grateful that someone ripped out my heart? How does this help me heal? It didn't. Nor did it help me evolve as a person. Just say: "It sucks, I know."