Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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Ambrosia last won the day on September 22

Ambrosia had the most liked content!

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About Ambrosia

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    And The Hippos Were Boiled in Their Tanks, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
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    A Clockwork Orange, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

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  1. Thank you so much! Definitely feels like compersion also thanks for all of your words of wisdom I've read from you the past few years, whether directly to me, or on other people's threads. You're wonderful!
  2. Yeah. It's a small and very gossipy circle, glad to be out of it. Haha. And as much as i disagree with a lot of my family's beliefs, i still don't want to hurt them.
  3. Thanks @NoOne haha so do i. It felt so good, for the 5 minutes i got to.. I've learned not to bring my dog if i thought there might be a chance. That first night, i was totally not even expecting anything haha.
  4. It never actually happened to me, but I was worried I'd be outed somehow, especially on apps that have local people on them. I had a very religious childhood and my parents and extended family are still very religious, and they're still attending the same church i went to. So i guess it was even fear of making my parents look bad too.
  5. Your best bet is to find another woman in a similar situation to yours, i.e. another partnered woman. They will be significantly more understanding to your situation because they'll be experiencing similar feelings and circumstances. You also have less of a risk of unbalanced desires (such as you having a primary, but your secondary has no one else and therefore feeling left behind/neglected). One thing that really helps in getting out there and finding someone.. if you have a decent sized social circle that is accepting of non-traditional sexuality/relationships, out yourself to them. This doesn't work in everyone's lives though. I'm lucky enough to work in a field that is accepting of things like that (bartending, and my boss is super conservative but completely out of the loop, so i don't risk trouble with my job) and my social circle is also predominately regulars at my job and employees of other local restaurants, bars, and locally owned businesses. I'm completely out in my everyday life because it doesn't really cross over into my family life, and in the rare instances it does, my friends know to be discreet about it to my family. That's opened up a ton of opportunities, from just connecting, discussing, and feeling validated with other lgbtq+ people, to experiences and exploration. You'd be surprised how many women are partnered with men but crave intimacy and more with a woman. It's out there, i promise. It's all about your life circumstances on how to approach it all. Sorry that's not more helpful
  6. It seems like you're experiencing things much the way i did in the beginning. I was mortified to be found out online (still am) because of reflecting poorly on both of us, as well as fear that it would negatively affect our relationship. There have absolutely been ups and downs throughout everything, and it hasn't been completely easy. But we learned how to speak openly and honestly, and there's been a lot of trying. And i can say currently that it's positively impacted my marriage. I think part of that has to do with the fact that what i found grew organically out of a close friendship/with someone I'd wanted for a long time (i think she'd wanted me too... and our husbands were totally shipping us for quite some time.. mine because he definitely knew i wanted her and had actually given me some great advice on several occasions while i was stressing about her.. and I'm assuming her husband knew she was interested in me too, but neither of us were brave enough to do anything about it until recently, again, with the nudging and provision of our guys). I chatted with several women online and even met someone online previously and went on a few dates.. it worked out horribly.. not with our marriage, but she was a crazy bish, but she was the only halfway interesting person i met online. So my experience with online isn't necessarily the rule. The above i can give us just tread carefully. Keep everyone's feelings at heart, and don't dive in too quickly. If you really know yourself, things can be amazing.
  7. Thanks, @ChemFem you're always so very supportive and sweet! It's weird how happy this all has made me. Watching them interact and be stupidly adorable on their wedding day had me literally laughing with happiness all day. Thursday definitely gave me butterflies. I just love feeling her touching me, even in innocent, non-sexual but intimate ways. It's like electricity going through me. I do feel like she likes me, at least i hope so, and her actions seem to indicate it. It's just hard to believe it's real life, never did i think I'd end up in a place like this. Even six months ago, i would have never believed it
  8. Thanks for responding @BiTriMama! I'm absolutely enjoying it for what it is i have no expectations other than whats going on right now, and it feels so good. We've both brought up falling asleep together a couple of times.. both times we could have, something happened to keep it from happening. But next time, as long as we're able, we're just going to crash there with them. I can't wait. I'm sure it will amp things up emotionally, and I'm not afraid of that at all. I legit think I'm poly, because the feelings i have for her don't in any way diminish the feelings i have for my husband.. if anything i feel like he and i are emotionally closer and i love him even more. And i feel no jealousy towards her relationship with her husband.. it's like the opposite. The amount of happiness he brings her makes me even happier. Not to mention the friendship and closeness we have to both of them. It's so good.
  9. This weekend has been amazing. My crush no longer has a fiance, she has a husband! i was her maid of honor and my husband officiated it. It was small, but so intimate and so so so much fun. I'm over the moon for them and still feel high on the excitement! Thursday night we went out and had a joint bachelor/bachelorette party for them at the bar i work at since her best friend was finally in town and the only other bridesmaid that's above legal drinking age wasn't available for the weekend she and i celebrated. I wasn't exactly sure if she'd told her about the stuff that's happened between us (she moved away before any of it happened), so i was kind of unsure of how affectionate i could be. We all went outside to smoke and she, my husband, and i all squeezed onto a bench with me between them. Husband had his arm halfway around me with his hand resting on the shoulder closest to him, and eventually she started to put her arm around me until she felt his hand, so she pulled back and put her hand on my other shoulder. Then when he got up and went inside, she put it all the way around me, and we stayed like that basically all night. Even when one of us would get up to go to the bathroom or something, when we'd come back, her arm went right back around me. Until she noticed i was wearing the super soft robe i got when we were together one time, and she started stroking my leg.. but then i put my arm around her and kind of rubbed her waist, while she continued to stroke my leg. We left and went to a friend's house eventually to continue to hang out (it was about a 3 block walk) and she slipped her arm through mine and found my hand. We held hands the rest of the walk until we got upstairs.. so i was kinda thinking maybe she told her best friend, but i wasn't sure. In hind-sight, i wish I'd kissed her on the walk to my friend's house.. So then, the wedding on Saturday. It was SO great. Possibly one of the most fun weddings I've gone to, but i might be biased because I'm so excited about the whole ordeal. It was at her hisbands parents' house, and i absolutely love his parents (we go there for the 4th of July every year.. awesome little property right by the river with a wooded area in the lot next to them, and they're the coolest, sweetest people who definitely know how to throw a party). Anyway, after her family left and we got most of the reception area cleaned up, we all stuck around and partied a little more on their front porch. At one point, she, her best friend and i were the only ones on the porch, when her husband came out for some reason. I don't remember what brought it up, but he said something about the first night we'd slept together. I don't remember what at it was. But he said "you know, this night" and started scissoring his fingers together. She and i laughed and were like "that's not EXACTLY how that night went.." (there was no scissoring involved, only oral and fingering). He said "whatever, it was that night, you know what i mean" and scissored his fingers together again and went inside. In front of her best friend. Sooo, I'm pretty sure she told her, because best friend didn't bat an eye at anything that happened or was said either night. Haha. Anyway, we continued to kind of reference that night for a few minutes, i don't remember exactly all that was said. But she made the statement about people falling asleep during it. I told her "oh, that was the second time and it was only [her husband] who fell asleep, and that's why we stopped". She said "i kinda fell asleep the first time too," and i told her "yeah, but that was when all the stuff was done, we all cuddled up and started to fall asleep. Until my dog started barking his brains out and [my husband] got frustrated and wanted to go home. Ughh i did not want to get up and go home, i just wanted to fall asleep there". She said "yeah, that sucked. I just wanted to cuddle and fall asleep together. Oh well, it's just growing pains". Which gave me butterflies. She wants to finish by cuddling and falling asleep together too.. that's what I'm dying for. And i took the "growing pains" statement as reiteration that she's into whatever is going on between us, and wants it to continue and progress (god, i can't wait to see how it progresses...). I also thought it was an interesting choice of words, because her husband had used that phrase after i sent him an apology text for basically hogging her and leaving the guys out the last time we all slept together.. he said something to the effect of "it's all new and there will be growing pains, but i like how it's going and progressing, and I'm excited to see how it continues to progress". Guys.. i think she kind of likes me. Like, ever since we started being physical, I've been afraid I'm just an experience, someone to fulfill her bisexual desires and that maybe anyone she was somewhat attracted to could stand in my place. But I'm really thinking she likes me specifically, and maybe in some weird way more than just sexually.. to some degree like i feel about her. I'm not in love with her by any means, but i love her. I'm extremely drawn to her on a emotional/friendship level, and she makes me so wet i can't think straight sometimes. And our husbands are completely fine with it. Seriously, is this even real life? Sorry. Just needed to get that out there and see if i could get some other opinions. Am i reading too far into things?
  10. Yesterday was so perfect.  I watched two of my favorite people get married.  I got to be maid of honor to the girl who gives me butterflies. She looked beautiful, somehow even more than usual.  He's a lucky guy for having her as his wife. And I'm a lucky girl. For having her as my friend/sometimes lover, and for having both of them in my life.  This is perfect. 

    1. ChemFem


      Aw that's so sweet! Congrats to them.

  11. Godddd. This is killing me.
  12. This is true! From personal experience: i put out a whole lot of feelers before i really knew if my crush would be interested. I tried flirting, but it usually came across as pretty benign (at least from my view, I'm bad at overtly flirting), i made sure she absolutely knew i liked women and that I'd be open to dating one, if i found the right person, and i even tried to gauge how she'd react to physical involvement by "innocently" telling her when i was potentially considering messing around with another lady friend who'd approached me about it. Which was maybe a little underhanded, but it apparently got her thinking/discussing. I had a feeling she might be interested but i wasn't sure at all, and even if she was, whether she'd be okay with acting on it. Then i found out she'd actually discussed sleeping with me with her fiance (shortly after I'd told her about the other girl i was talking to), and a couple of months later it actually happened. So, i can't be completely sure, but it does sound like there's a possibility she's feeling you out, even despite showing interest in the other friend. @FlaGrl08 is right, just see where this friendship is going right now, you might be surprised. This is difficult to remember. I think we're kind of wired to wait for the other person to make a move. But then we get stuck in a rut because neither party will do it. Maybe put out some feelers of your own, just to see how she reacts. Not too obvious, take it slow. But i think both @FlaGrl08 and @Cute&Curious are right. It doesn't necessarily mean something, but it potentially could.
  13. Ughh i hate having such a different sleep schedule to her.  She texted 4 hours before i woke up and asked what i was doing, buuut she'll be going to bed in like 3 hours at this point, so i missed an opportunity to hang out :headbonk:

    1. VirgoGirl
    2. ChemFem


      Hate it when that happens.