Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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63395 last won the day on March 27 2017

63395 had the most liked content!

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About 63395

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  • Birthday 01/05/68

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    Anything outdoors, yoga,running, quilting, sewing.
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  1. Well said, @ChemFem. I use this sort of information, as well as what I see among my bi friends, as justification to not tell my husband I'm bi. I have an intuitive feeling that my marriage wouldn't last if I did, and I definitely want it to. Obviously this only applies to me because everyone's marriage is different. Ive been attracted to women for five years. Overall they've been great years of marriage, and we definitely do talk about positive things. I feel like my choice has been the best decision for everyone in my family including myself.
  2. @blueberry, you are right. This seems to be an observation from the SSN (straight spouse network), not a scientific study. They encourage the straight spouse to take care of themself emotionally, financially and medically. The other online support group, MMOMW (making mixed orientation marriages work) probably has different experience, as the name suggests. Lots of SSN people seem to have started out in MMOMW I also think maybe women are more likely to divorce a gay/bi husband than men divorcing a bi wife.
  3. I came across this article which reckons only 17% of marriages last over three years after a spouse comes out as gay or bisexual. I'm in a bi group and this seems to be accurate among the ladies I know, even those with husbands who were initially fantastically supportive. I think the quality/happiness of a marriage should also be considered, not just if you end up together or not. Also, the divorce rate for heterosexual couples isn't zero, so one person being bi isn't ever the only factor in a divorce. Do do you think this is accurate? Do statistics like these even matter? According to the Straight Spouse Network, it is estimated that there are up to 2 million mixed orientation couples. According to Amity Buxton of the Straight Spouse Network, "When the gay, lesbian, or bisexual spouse comes out, a third of the couples break up immediately; another third stay together for one to two years, sorting out what to do and then divorce; the remaining third try to make their marriages work. A half of these couples divorce, while half of them (17% of the total) stay together for three or more years." The Family Pride Coalition compiled the following statistics: 20 percent of all gay men in America are in a heterosexual marriage. 50 percent of all gay men in America have fathered children. 40 percent of all lesbians in America are married to a male partner. 75 percent of all lesbians have children.
  4. This is precisely why I've chosen to not tell my husband I'm bi. It's not the "correct" thing to do, but in my case I feel like it's the kindest to everyone involved. I 100% relate to you feeling completely miserable. If there was a pill to make me straight, I'd take two just to be sure.
  5. I'm so sorry you are going through this, @Bea10. Of COURSE you are craving the attention of a kind sweet woman who you can feel relaxed with and experience some fun and levity. How did he find out that you are attracted to women? I'm sure you foresaw it not going over well. This is the most extreme reaction I've ever heard of from a husband finding out his wife did nothing more than get close to someone and have a relationship in her TEENS. It's almost bizarre and it's definitely worrying as well as highly manipulative. He needs to be under intense immediate medical treatment, for his own sake as well as your families. I'm thinking of you. I don't know how you are parenting and coping with all this!!
  6. So much has happened. Someone should make a movie.
  7. I caused a car accident, taught another human being to drive, and learned to use those dials on top of a camera for the first time. How 'bout y'all??
  8. "Torture" is the right word. You feel equal parts of delicious sexy excitement and a trapped endless frustrated immobility. Google "dealing with sexual frustration". It's evidently a whole field of study, especially in India. That was really helpful for me in seeing it as a positive thing.
  9. Like you, @Veronica, that would NEVER fly with my husband either. That's probably the case with most husbands out there. Do you think the attraction to chicks is because of the pretty bad sex, or is the sex pretty bad because you're really attracted to women? Otherwise you'd be lusting after other guys, right?!? I ask myself this all the time. As for the evil distracting relentless beast that is temptation, I wish I could offer some solution. Temptation and infidelity both eat at your soul and chain you to dishonest existence.
  10. Welcome to the land of confusion @YellowHairedWarrior You are in good company here. Many of us have imperfect but not-terrible marriages. Many of us never gave women a second thought , sexually speaking, until long after we married. Many of us question if it's real that we like women, or if our minds are playing some weird trick on us. I don't think you'd be on this site unless you were truly bi. A straight person can't be "talked into" being bi. My best advice is to give yourself lots and lots of time to get used to this new identity and decide how you want to proceed. We're all here to help you along this crazy journey.
  11. I'd totally go to a group meet up. Do it @FlaGrl08
  12. Hi there fellow Florida girl. 

    1. Sunflower40
    2. 63395


      I'm okay. Haven't seen you on here for ages!! It'd be great if we could organize for some of us Central Florida ladies to get together. 

  13. What you describe, @BellaLuna , sounds ideal to most of us married ladies but very far from ideal for most of our husbands. I think it's achievable for a few, but not without huge doses of frustration, heartache and tears for everyone involved.
  14. With anything else in life, we are free to change our "labels" as we see fit. (Religion, hobbies, careers). Why do we hate labeling our sexual preference so much? I suspect it has more to do with other people's feelings and reactions than our own. Also, having sex with another woman is the LEAST heterosexual thing you can possibly do, so why the need to label it something else?
  15. Welcome, @Lexa Your story is so similar to mine. I also first became attracted to women within a month of going off long time birth control at age 46. Like you, my sex drive skyrocketed to a crazy distracting degree. It's confusing, thrilling, frustrating, lonely, sexy, confining, exciting, sad.... all at once. I've made the decision to never tell my husband how much I'm attracted to women, although I have made some gentle references to it which did NOT go well. I feel it's kinder to not make it his problem. I really recommend taking a lot of time and getting all the support you can. Wait until this all feels more normal before you make decisions.