Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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63395 last won the day on March 27

63395 had the most liked content!

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About 63395

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  • Birthday 01/05/1968

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    Anything outdoors, yoga,running, quilting, sewing.
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  1. Tell us a little about yourself. (Here or on your profile) It's pretty much garenteed that many of us will be able to understand aspects of your story, and if nobody can relate, well maybe that means you are just a very unique interesting person which we can't wait to hear about either. Regarding your advanced age, I think you are imagining a bunch of confident cocky teenagers, while in fact quite a few of us get senior discount.
  2. Given the level of distress you are feeling about this, I think if you really felt like it was a good idea to ask your husband about you having a gf, you would've done it years ago. Know that it is an option to never tell him. Yes, this isn't the "correct" way to proceed, but many of us feel it's the kindest for all involved. At at least find ways to "test the waters" about his real attitudes to nonmanogamy, homosexuality and bisexuality.
  3. This is my field of expertise. Firstly, try to enjoy feeling sexy and sexual and having a fun little secret. Secondly, stay busy doing things you love with people you love. Plan events to look forward to. Thirdly, you didn't ask for this or do something wrong. Don't let it start to eat at your happiness or your self esteem. Get support from people who understand wherever you can.
  4. I can't fix anything..... I just want to add two comments. Be be incredibly grateful for the wonderful experience you got to have with her. Many people go a lifetime looking for that kind of connection and never finding it. Maybe that knowledge can lessen the pain at some future point. Secondly, I think it's almost always a totally disastrous idea to leave a functioning marriage for a brand new relationship. I think you know this deep down. Imagine the stress of lawyers, bills, upset family members, neighborhood gossip, angry exes..... That'd be the quickest way to drain what you guys have of all its magic and beauty. often, the hardest thing you have to do is also the most loving
  5. I totally agree that him insisting that your exploration centers on his desires is unsettling and odd. At the same time, I'm sure he feels completely unsettled by your "odd" thought of enjoying sex without his involvement. I don't think that's childish. I think it's what he expected getting into the relationship. Just as you are being honest and authentic expressing your needs and desires, he's being open about his. That's only fair, even if it's horribly inconvenient. I wish I could offer some magical solution, but in all honesty, there are many relationships (maybe most relationships) where being poly isn't a workable option.
  6. Wow, bigurl!! You are dealing with really tough emotions. I think you are 100% right to just decide you are "done" with exploring being bi, hard as that may be. I think you know intuitively that whatever experience you choose to pursue, it's going to cause a LOT more problems than it solves. Don't forget that the other person(s) you involve come with their own set of equally important problems. Quite honestly, that is my exact reason for deciding to not even tell my husband I'm attracted to women. I'm in the same position as you of not being able to explore it, but without all the drama and unhappiness. I feel bad for you, but some problems are unfixable IMO
  7. I remember being taught in Sunday school that "love can't wait to give". Meanwhile, "lust can't wait to get" , which is apparently a damaging bad selfish thing you'll never recover from. They thought they were being really progressive and open-minded by talking to teenagers about sex. A gazilloin years later, I have to say that "can't wait to get" can be a beautiful thing. And feeling like someone loves you so much that they'll do you the favor of having sex with them is about as unsexy as it gets. I need a balance between the two.
  8. Amal Clooney. (Sorry Georgy!!). She's so fucking classy, and she puts all that privilege and fine eloqution into taking on important causes. Yeah, she may seem a little uptight, but that's only because she hasn't been with me yet.
  9. Just stopping by to say hello! :)

  10. I'm certainly not innocent when it comes to affairs, but why do you put the word "affair " in quotation marks? Be honest with yourselves. If you like someone, or love them, you'd never want anything horrible to happen to their family. Keep reminding yourself of this every single time the longing gets difficult. And be proud that you are doing the difficult thing but the loving thing.
  11. Well which is worse? Stereotypical Lesbian saggy crotch pants, or its nemesis, Camel toe? Personally I'd prefer to err on the side of saggyness. HOWEVER if we're talking about a woman in nothing but damp lacy silky panties, a hint of camel toe is downright irresistible.
  12. Welcome, fellow Floridian. I'm suffering from "husband would never understand "syndrome myself, and I also hate not being who I am. It's driving me a little crazy.
  13. Hi Guilia. Welcome. Where in Florida do you live? I'm in a similar situation to you. I don't see anything good coming from telling my husband I am so attracted to women.

    1. Show previous comments  18 more
    2. Giulia1098


      I'm working on it! And baby steps... baby steps LOL!

    3. Giulia1098


      And thank you :) Hopefully I won't stay a scaredy cat.

    4. 63395


      The group is full of people who were scaredy cats at first and are really welcoming now.

  14. I'm so happy you are dealing with this together. Im sure things will be easier with him being understanding your needs.
  15. So your husband "had you get counseling" against your own wishes, and now they are not prepared to do the same? Obviously transitioning is unimaginably hard in many many ways, but I'm not seeing your husband doing ANYTHING to try to make you feel understood, cared for, or considered. Do you think they still want you in their new life as a woman? My heart breaks for you. You have to keep things seeming normal for 5kids, keep a huge secret from anyone who could support you, and be loving to a changed person when you don't even know what to call them.