Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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Hungry last won the day on November 19

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About Hungry

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  1. @Violetta like everyone has said above you can't be too hard on yourself. We all know people who've made a commitments only to realize later etc and that's without even bringing sexuality into the frame.You've been faithful and also had past experiences and while some may think it's wrong to say that's harder, I think it is. To not have is forbidden fruit or an alternate dream - while not any less valid or meaningful, making a conscious decision knowing that you may never experience a woman again is a cross to bear. You know your husband and the life you've carved out for yourselves so if there's no flexibility there it doesn't mean you must suffer. You're still the same person you always were and that's a good thing, you are no less in any way. Going forward I think you need to work on allowing yourself the internal space to be like ok, this isn't going away but my feelings and desires are natural, valid and a part of you. There's no use fighting yourself because as much as we try to kid ourselves that we can keep it together, your whole life suffers eventually. Getting comfortable with who you are takes time but within that you'll begin to have a clearer idea of what your desires mean and what you could do about them if you felt the need. Upholding your vows and living with your choices is commendable and part of the picture but it's not everything you are. I'm very middle of the road having traveled a few paths and even now I'm single, I'm still uncomfortable with making a choice or having open dialogue. I've done it and avoided it knowing the outcome and will have to again, in some respects it is always on your head be it - it's hardly ever an either or. It's not easy, but it can get better!
  2. Only in this country can you get hit on while queueing and have it be an enjoyable experience :lol:

  3. Not to make this all about me, but.. my closest friend is moving to the other side of the world. Not in the distant future but this week! :O

    1. Show previous comments  12 more
    2. bluebell


      I had most of my friends move away to different cities and countries. When you stay and they leave and you don't know when you'll see them again, it sucks so very much!!!! distance is still a barrier, I disagree

    3. blueberry


      Maybe you'll see her more often when she's gone? In a digital world, though. I hope you'll be able to spend a quality time with your closest friend before she leaves. And I hope your kidneys behave.  :)

    4. Hungry


      Now I've gotten over it, seeing her yesterday was good. I just laid on my couch and went next year will be awesome, right? That's pretty much my tagline this month. Luckily we don't need regular communication cos I don't think either of us could commit to Skype and suchlike!

  4. Friend: I didn't know she was into women..  Me: Neither did I, but I heard she went vegan awhile back, so it was only a matter of time before she came out :P It's a creepily accurate correlation around here!

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Hungry


      For me it's not even that, I just don't want to be limited and honestly there's only so many legumes one can eat before you throw yourself off a building surely? :P I'm one more convert and coming out away from doing stats analysis!

    3. ChemFem


      See, I do get legume-induced thoughts of jumping off a building, but then I think of all the lovely ladies in the world and it keeps me going. :D

    4. Hungry


      Is that how a vegan survives? Based on my findings, that could be true! :P

  5. I had a think on how I'm going to answer this one. Firstly, the course looks awesome if that's your cuppa tea. We're certainly having a shake up in the west in regards to gender, roles and social structure. My $0.2 some of it is for the better, most of it seems like hot air. You define your femininity, the same way you define the rest of your being. If someone had asked me a few years ago if I was a feminist my response would of been more clear cut and positive but these days I reserve judgement case by case and don't particularly consider myself one. I grew up playing with Lego, Barbies and Action Men, they'd fight together in my world. Then video games and technology came about something thought to be a boys thing at the time. My parents never told me how to dress, during my teens, I wore minimal makeup, didn't see a dress until college and men's shirts were a staple. When I explored my sexuality with women, I entered a gender fluid period that lasted a couple of years, I can't exactly pinpoint my reasonings, probably something to do with coming to terms with being intimate with women and also I'm logical by default - masculine traits and behaviors are praised and preferred in many of the areas I was interested in and more importantly good at. I've worked in finance, corporate business in both traditional and more creative areas and now I've moved into digital and tech. I've seen the women referred to as tethered goats in finance, women of all ages crying in bathrooms, or heard their woes in the elevator or had the joy sucked out of happy hour or break time with how much harder they're finding it due to something related to having a vagina. The way I approach being a woman in these areas is just not to buy into it in the first place. That doesn't mean that things haven't been said, implied, purposed, assumed and outright insults and negatives haven't been hurtled in my direction. But they come with the territory. and they can be stopped in their tracks. I should probably add that I've become more feminine over the years naturally, I own it the same way I do the more masculine facets of my being. Femininity to me, isn't fixed it's not solely a yin or soft ideal. It can be about fire, power, confidence, calm, emotional stability, kindness, communicating, honesty just as much as sucess and achievement and you don't have to break yourself or others to get there if you're willing to put the work in. Like everything it's a construct, while there can be more hurdles for women to jump, if you want it bad enough you will and you'll do so with grace and unwaivering pursuit. The whole push and buzz surrounding women in leadership roles, I recognize that many women struggle with this, but I think it's more about mindset than what you have between your legs. You define what kind of woman you want to be every day you go out into the world, it doesn't mean that everyone will like it, but over time they'll come to respect you if you lead by example. I'm not saying I grew to this point over night but I certainly never let men dictate my path.and trust me women in the corporate world and higher classes can be vicious! I also don't believe that women should work/band together in pursuits unless it's going to result in the best possible outcome. I've met women who instantly want to do projects or get coffee because I'm a woman, I get it, but it doesn't sit right with me? The thing about men that many women have yet to grasp is they quite easy to put in their place and many of the issues and anxieties lots of women appear to have are created and perpetuated by them I suppose why I don't consider myself a feminist now is because it shouldn't be about breaking a glass ceiling or being equal to men and empowered, to me it's more how can you harness your potential as individual, if you pay mind to the pitfalls you're more likely to fall! *Nobody has to read this, it's long I apologize.
  6. Rain, rain, go away, pain pain go away - if the rhyme fits...

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. blueberry


      Oh, big hugs to you. I hope it'll go away soon. 

    3. bluebell


      I hope the pain will leave you asap

    4. lsroses


      Oh, you know me..... always sunny. Must be the onesie! Seriously though, Hope you're ok, and feel better soon. X

  7. Another day of unlimited possibilities... Or if you're me, a productive morning that gives way to a comatosed afternoon.

    1. Golightly63


      All things are possible. Choices, choices...

  8. Restful
  9. I've already got that down. I'm not sure what the average is for my age group but I know I don't have income-related worries I've already hit the obvious milestones. While some stability does come with age, that doesn't mean some of us haven't put in the time and forethought to build a life. If anything, I was probably more together in terms of stability than one of the women from my minimal dating encounters this year. I'd understand if it were the reverse, I don't date people who couldn't pay their way or would earn far less over the course of a longer relationship: housing, spending, vacations etc. They assumed I was older, we shared some interests and the conversation was engaging, once they knew my age it didn't stop them meeting me and I get some of that is curiousity perhaps but I feel as though some women, not all care more about what other people will think/say etc. Where as a man with a younger woman, he's doing well isn't he? I should add this hasn't been every woman I've encountered, but ironically it's been more of an issue, the older I get?! When I was in college, I dated a woman who was older than my mother and another who who had a decade on me and it was fine. But again, perhaps my age was the main appeal for them? It is a little insulting, of the most recent, one began complimenting me in a fluster and I reassured her that nobody has ever gotten my age right... I could tell istantly it not only surprised her, but it just wasn't gonna sit well and that's ok, we all have different ideals.
  10. I like that you came back and updated your thoughts. Age is a strange point of contention for a lot of people. I've personally never really had anything in common with my own peer group so to speak, but that doesn't mean there might not be someone who feels just like me thinking oh god, they need time to grow into themselves and will I ever meet someone with similar interests or mindset? I'd like to say you're right about connection but in the past year I've had connections with two women, nothing to write home about but there was clearly some spark there and while it was all fine when age came up for one of them it was just too much and for the other it was perhaps one of the higher dealbreakers. So while I'd like to think that everyone is open-minded, if you don't present as being younger in some way, you get discounted sometimes just because they feel they're too old for you?! But perhaps that is the flipside of me not wanting to date a student or someone who couldn't afford to live alone whether they choose to or not, for example? I don't really have anything to prove and I'm not looking at this stage, I do find it rather strange because I've never had a man regardless of age take issue with it. Does anyone think this could be a gender difference?
  11. @kairi Before we do Hungarian we should add:
  12. Still trying to find a way to get all the variations of my favorite Hungarian word for you. But Elmosolyodni is pretty nice in the meantime. Literally pronounced: Elma-sol-agnee
  13. When you realize you did two days of work at the weekend so you go in for a meeting then come home and watch a movie under a blanket - sounds like a good way to spend an afternoon...

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Hungry


      I don't like popcorn *braces self* :P In true Hungry fashion I've found something to do but I'll be done shortly, no idea what I'm watching yet but I've got a long enough list!

    3. blueberry


      Good on you. Hard work, eh? Time to chill out then. 

    4. Hungry


      I fell straight to sleep.. then got up and did more work.. no wonder my movie list is getting longer and longer! :) Hope everyone else had a good day!

  14. I say this as someone who experienced the dark side of a woman. You're not really happy. In my case I knew I wasn't happy, but I understood their demons at first I even felt empathy for them and wanted to be supportive and course in the early days things were good, but that wore off and then it was a slow burn, that somehow turned into a landslide without me noticing and then it escalated to a ticking time bomb. She may never physically hurt you but anyone who puts you down, treats you badly and tries to change you, they don't love you. Hell they might not even know how to love because their own experiences, struggles and self-worth is so low how could they possibly give you the best of themselves to someone else when all their energy is spent fighting life in a way that most people can't understand? You don't need to talk to your family about her specifically, you just need to ask them or tell them you cannot live there and need to be somewhere else, basically it's an opinion should you want or need to take it. If they do ask why, then find something to tell them, a nugget, half a story, the whole thing it's up to you. Lie if it makes it easier. The main thing is this isn't your fault on any level. The fact they're in law enforcement makes no difference, that in itself should be a red flag, they work in a sector where they get to control or enforce at least some things - it's telling when someone is hardwired like this.