Hungry

Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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    Christmas Island

Everything posted by Hungry

  1. Disclaimer: I have no real right to start this thread. But things have to start somewhere. Everything below is personal opinion/thought and I encourage all of you to have your say. As many of you know/see there is an announcement banner at the top of the site for urgent donations and while those have been met it won't hold the site for very long at all. Now earlier on I posted in the chatbox with no right to do saying that because the quota had been met you shouldn't donate. It's not so much that I don't want you to, it's that I want you all to think carefully before you do. I was quick to donate because of my belief in the value of Shybi. I'm sure we all have our own feelings about the site and how our journeys have progressed because of this wonderful resource that @la-femme has run singlehandedly for a decade. I am truly grateful for this and I admire her for continuing to do so even though she has/is personally suffering as a result. For the site to move forward, it's going to need money, that's obvious. But for us as members this brings up a lot of questions and possibilities. There's also many ways that funding can be obtained in the long-term, but in the short-term if admin is reliant on us, we deserve a say and should not just blindly give without clear knowledge of what we receive. The digital world has advanced considerably since Shybi began. The only slight advantage I have here is that I do have some knowledge in this area. While some of us helped out today, we should have a say in the shaping of the site and we can't blindly give money and hope for the best it's not a solution and also there's always going to be current and future members who can't make financial contributions so it really is a case of coming together to make this a truly useful, accessible resource for those of us already here and all women who type bisexuality into a search engine. I am personally happy to support the site going forward, but I'm by no means writing this to impose myself as a leader - which makes this rather ironic But I do want to see the site grow, and remain because it's important and I will accept more responsibility if need be. Change is coming whether we like it or not, only by discussing it will the site be able to move forward. After giving my donation today, I felt sad not just because it could be lost, but because I've personally known for a long time the site wasn't at it's best - we've all been spoilt by having this place. Our site is a sinking ship and we can only help save it by taking a real interest and speaking up.
  2. I think looking to the L Word for any real guidance on actual female relationships is the problem with this question I certainly saw subsets of the community growing up, bars/clubs were a dom/sub dynamic was prevalent but that stems from the type of club and the fact that a lot of the people identified with clear cut identifers in those settings such as femme + andro vs. butch. I think bisexuals and gays who've had a bit of experience at least in the areas I've lived/travelled there isn't a clear dynamic in my relationships or my friends from what I can see. I think geography and age might play a part in why some women may assume that's the kind of relationship they'd have or desire based on stereotypes
  3. Based on my previous experience of which I've done it early, later and not at all. Out in the open is best for sure. I usually mention it whenever the conversation turns to dating, partners etc. No big gesture, just drop it in. You don't have to be "bisexual" I usually say I've had relations with women, but it's still quite obvious I like men. The response is usually small to really positive, but as long as the person knows and if the guy you're seeing is open don't miss an opportunity to express yourself!
  4. None of my business - but you know me enough to know I mean no harm by what I'm about to say. Even if you don't have "sex" with your bf I guarantee that pleasuring him while he watches porn just once or twice will help change how he views porn and sex. If you make some effort with this, he'll most likely see less seperation between the two. It's a tough one and the only think I've known to help individuals/couples where there is an addiction. I think I've probably answered before so I'll just stick to it's not cheating - the only reason in my book someone would think/say this is because they're confusing lust/desire/personal pleasure with emotional connection and take it personally.
  5. Apologies to everyone I said I'd contact, I lost the details. I think I've got most of them in PM, but if you don't hear from me, maybe send them through again :P

    Hope everyone on board is keeping well!

    1. myladylove

      myladylove

      Hello my spiritual friend, hope life is treating you well also.

    2. Hungry

      Hungry

      @myladylove you came back :D I'll be in touch to check in, some of your updates have me worried but I know you're resilient. Always got time for a friend!

    3. Rocker83

      Rocker83

      Let me know if you still have mine. Nice to see you again :)

  6. I thought I'd drop by with a word post - @JadeBleu15 I really hope this topic stays! This word came up today to descirbe living in the moment.
  7. Totally and I've had an email exchange with @la-femme and while I won't be on the site I'm happy to help out and one thing she said she definitely needs going forward is help in running the site so I trust they're many who'd be willing to step up. Take care of yourselves
  8. No refund was issued and the case was closed. A member panicked messaged me, said the site was down. I had said to them previously that if the site went down I would split my refund for them and another member who gave when they couldn't really afford to. Given that it was inaccurate I cancelled the claim I just wanted you to know that money wise is the same as it was before this post was made. I've offered to support admin in the future privately and I'm glad everyone seems on board.
  9. shybi

    While I understand your point and agree. I also think you would need to look carefully at choices. Willingness and likablity can't be the only factors in the mix. @BiTriMama has already stated that she doesn't feel comfortable with backroom tech, so it's looking is there anyone here who is, cos you need to look at the future, there needs to be balance in the dynamic - it's why for actual maintenance and tech, it should be a paid thing, less pressure. Is there, any point with doing admins/mods now with the site in it's current state? If it was me, I'd hold fire. It's enough to know that admin is considering it. It's too early to draw up a poll too really. It would be worth @la-femme talking to the current mods and establishing communication there, obviously some must be long gone and have no interest but some might be happy to be active if things are on the up and new people just makes it more complicated. Best later option: open it to a poll based on ability/other positives and any current mods who don't make the cut would hand over to the new mods on a specific date, final decision would obviously be made by admin and I think people who are newer to the site should be considered too. It sounds clique and scattered in the past for certain periods so it's gotta be about best for the site, always first and forever. See the above answer as an example of when someone offers an idea or mentions something how my mind works. I'm glad you feel this is a new era for you and your involvement in the site. However, lots of these things to make the site better aren't optional, they're necessary and not every point is up for debate if you want the best outcome. There does need to be real knowledge to run anything well, somewhere in the mix. I can't feel like I'm pushing all the time. It comes across as disrespectful, I've had people say to me they think I have been to you and while I think you know that's not my agenda, just in case - I'm sorry if it feels that way. It's just for every point, there's a point which is why this thread has so many posts in such a short space of time, with very few hard facts and I'm not sure I want to witness this because it's not a pretty process. I'm not gonna agree with a lot of things both you and the members say or do and I'm not saying I'm always right, I'm not, but I don't want to go around trying to explain why and be irritated/irritate anyone. I love this site, I want it to prosper. I just don't believe I'll hold that affection if I stay.
  10. shybi

    I am not up for this challenge, plus don't think @la-femme would pick me anyway. I can't see whatever happens, happen moment-to-moment here so I'm just posting a blog up on what this space and all of you have allowed for me, but now feels like time for me to jump off the island. My pick if there is a vote @BiTriMama has always been a good contributor and I beIieve the newest mod addition, so that should go in her favor. Personally I've always found her to be kind, fair and honest. If the only reason the current admin hasn't appointed others is because they're bitchy, bratty, and risky, then I'm pretty sure she's a safe bet.
  11. shybi

    I was referencing site payments not your personal life, that would be invasive! Just so it's clear, if funding is needed. In terms of Admin there is the option long-term of paying someone not involved in the site for maintenance this would stop some of the drama and issues. It's something that I would be willing to back anyway. I am agreement with looking into all the other points at a later time.
  12. shybi

    We don't really need more ideas, but if we don't have a unified space for them, we'd miss the best ones, in the true nature of Shybi it's an open discussion We'll see how it goes. Unless something changes, I've said and done all I can, like you said there are other things to think about and also other areas of the forum as well!
  13. shybi

    While I encourage anyone who has ideas to continuing commenting on this thread, it is just becoming a sea of ideas and we need to focus on the here and now of the site so I took the liberity of reaching out to @la-femme in PM. See below: Hi, The topic has brought up many interesting points, but it's just becoming a sea of ideas, which is not going to help the site unless we focus on the here and now. Please let me know if the money gets taken and you hear from the 1&1/service providers. I think the best thing we can do for now in order to keep the site is continue to fund it. It'll be easier to work towards if you're willing to share the true running costs of the site with us publicly - ideally with verification or screenshots for transparency. It'd also be in your interest however exposing it is to admit how far out of pocket you are, i know this isn't a very nice position but we all care about the site, It's very likely that most if not all of the monthly costs could be covered. I am personally happy to support if things are made clear but there needs to be an open line of communication. In the short-term the members should know what they will get in return from you as Admin. I understand we're all busy and something that has come up on the thread and in the past is the need for others to have admin permissions, not necessarily exactly what you have, but it would take the pressure off you and ensure the running of the site. There are a few mods on the thread that have expressed willingness. Once things are out in the open it'll be easier to build the future of Shybi but without this, you're struggling and there's less certainty and incentive for members to support. You don't have to be alone in this. Thanks. It's the only way I can see the site going for now and I really hope she'll get on board with this. If Admin does respond to this and open up some of you might not agree or see the point but we need to be in majority agreement regarding what changes and maintenance we want to see short-term in return for funding. I suggest a contract signed by @la-femme stating that she will see these things through as Admin. I do feel uncomfortable suggesting it as she has supported us for so long, but truth is she's suffering for us. If we give, we deserve to know what you're getting in return. Otherwise, we might as well let her close the site for her own sake, even though I know she doesn't want that to happen, if we didn't support a few days ago it would of been reality in the short-term and it could well happen again. End note: I'm not doing this because I want to be Admin/anything like that. It's just once you create an audience, you're responsible and you can tell this is something I spend my life doing elsewhere and I'm passionate about it, so that's translated here .Some of you messaged me, like you're upset, angry etc. No I get off on solutions, potential, growth, vision Creating and changing online is a powerful thing and all of us have benefited from this site. That said, this is about as far as I'm willing to go as an individual for now, I don't want to log on to go round in circles. Please let me know what you think off this.
  14. When you're meant to get 3 deliveries early in the mood and now it's afternoon and you're still waiting on the third... delivery times used to have meaning!

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Hungry

      Hungry

      Oh I think you should it's what all members here have come to suspect, you in a totally submissive and "good" mood just isn't normal! :P

    3. kairi

      kairi

      Oh yeah I am totally God's gift to shys women!! :P Normal is overrated.  I am never totally submissive with anyone but just for your information I am willing to be only with one and no one else ;) 

    4. Hungry

      Hungry

      Sounds like variety is key and we all are to that someone sometimes :D

  15. shybi

    Totally agree with you. Also there's no point having admins unless they know how to use their permissions and those don't have to be exactly the same as what @la-femme has. Every site I know of has multiple admins, it really makes things easier on everybody. I know some mods have offered in the past, I hope it happens going forward. It'll be great if she can be around more but she shouldn't have to go it alone. If there's only one admin and the site becomes reliant on funding, this is a dealbreaker for me. Might as well be honest.
  16. shybi

    Long-term it's definitely a good idea. Apps like Tapatalk let you register a forum and list it in their index, but you'd still need a board to begin with so that means web hosting costs would still apply. Boards like this have app capabilities for Android and iPhone in their higher packages, inc. are current provider. There are plenty of easy to use and relatively inexpensive platforms for app development these days, but Java/plug-ins would be extra, along with a desktop equivalent. Generating income through ads would ease the burden, but it's a case of startup $ - bottom line are the core members here willing to fund it?
  17. shybi

    It's great that @la-femme is around. I'm thinking based off the entire topic and past few days we should all try to remain where we are for the time being I think that's the general concensus and it's just a case of looking to the future of what we can do here. @ThroughTheLookingGlass86 Pro boards are not a bad option, but they're highly similar to what the current board offers and with Invision software/ There's the chance of offering/adding moe customization. Pro boards do have a higher premium version, Forums.Net which is a likeness It's just a case of checking the full details to see who offers the best value and features. I am more than happy to continue to support the site and admin in any way I can and while at the start of this thread I thought I might have been wasting my time, as usual we've all come together! The only reservations I have going forward is that we continue in this manner and really care for the site as a community and changes are made going forward with more collabaration and transparency. If not then I don't see the point in contributing too much and I think @la-femme can see things need to change in order for Shybi to survive. The future looks bright and we'll still be able to call this place/similar home, hopefully for a long time to come. A big thanks to everyone who has contributed here
  18. Not really, I was curious how the writers researched the show. Aside from my first choice career - I wanted to be a scriptwriter, seems years ago now! I'm always interested in construction of TV, more than viewing it actually!
  19. shybi

    No idea how it works but if it came to it for a while it's something. Let's hope it doesn't come to that but this is as much as about us keeping the site going and having a say as it is relieving @la-femme from having to pay for it. Another option is a forum powered through WordPress, typically known as the worlds #1 blogging platform, it does offer plug-in options and proper integration and support, this is the nearest alternative I can think of at the minute. As the platform is free, just hosting and plugins etc. First hit example - vague but you see what I mean. http://www.planet12sun.com/forum/wordpress/forums/ Although technically most wordpress forums are added to an existing website. I'll look into costs at some point might be better off in the long run! Considering that what the site is running on at the moment is only gonna hold us for a week or two max we need to decide how to proceed. I don't feel it's fair we just wait and hope it gets paid for month-on-month. Although that'd be the easier option and I'm going for that one for the rest of the evening!
  20. I know the writer has written four seasons based on an interview he did in the winter and the Audience twitter is inundated with love and feedback from people loving the show due to it being on Netflix so I would of thought so, shows tend not to bomb if they make into the Netflix realm due to sheer volume of viewers.
  21. You gotta remember that when shows are created they usually have scope for a 4 season ark off the bat so there's usually a couple of filler seasons here and there to me that's what season 2 was and it's what season 3 could be too and then we rev up for 4.
  22. shybi

    Mods have no power or privilege they can't become admins unless la-femme appoints them which she's never done to my knowledge. Last mod I hear from they hadn't replied to any of their messages either since when the site was at crisis point and in donation mode yesterday. Perhaps some form of optional payment is possible in the future, but the point is the site should run based on things that it can generate and build, this is not the best way to ensure success, but it's certainly a short term help if need be? I'm pleased to hear members saying that. Also the original costs I mentioned are very basic. I haven't looked at anything further, so when people start listing we could have this and this and this and then put a figure at the bottom, that's not how it would work out. Also generated income can vary greatly in the early stages. To be honest, I think we all need to slow down a bit, by all means list all your thoughts and contribute the first hurdle is how long we go before believing the admin is not on our side and how we make a singular unified plan of action to have control over the outcome of the site.
  23. shybi

    It shouldn't fall to me, I did think of this initially and almost offered. But this shouldn't fall to me and if the current admin isn't the admin then everyone should get a say - I know most people wouldn't choose me. The way I see it there are 3 options: 1. We give admin another day or so then everyone who donated should either accept their $ are wasted or make a claim on PP for missold goods essentially. We then have to decide if we wanted to get rid of the current admin who and how we want the new structure to put in place by the way. This means contacting her with a contract and possible cash incentive to hand it over. The fact we even need to give her an incentive to a woman who clearly once loved this place is a very sad thing. 2. We accept that la-femme is admin and the board will remain as is on her watch. 3. Do 2 and then once Shybi is down by the domain, I don't imagine she'd be that crazy to keep it forever. That said it means down time but less money today. Like this we have no power and eventually she'll need more money and I love this site but I'm not gonna watch it get sent down the river and pay for it too. There was once a private FB group, I know @Matty had details. I'm not sure if any of the other mods know about that. I do think that connections are good but not everyone is gonna want social media, even I'm on the fence about sharing - something like Whatsapp, Skype or Hangouts seems more private, but enough for networking if need be. To be honest, part of me thinks there's not much point even if the value is there. It's frustrating, but in the coming days I really have to look at if there's any point sticking atound.
  24. shybi

    Essentially if things don't change those members who did donate could actually make a claim for their money back. It'd be decided by Paypal but it's actually got a chance assuming you didn't gift, your $ and la-femme doesn't return. I know you probably all think that's a horrible thing to say, but without a present admin the scope for this site is limited, the moderators don't have much power from what I can tell. As much as we all love the site, I want everyone to be aware they have that option if they wanted to try it while it seems unfair to be the admin of a site there's you have a responsibility and shouldn't wait 24-48 hours before closing to speak up. I know that is harsh. In terms of other people having administerative power while it's something la-femme expressed she'd rather not to change, other people need to be able to make changes, decisions and more importantly actively support members day-to-day.