Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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Everything posted by Hungry

  1. Shybi is a truly unique space. When I rocked up here. I’d had a fair bit of experience in the obvious areas and the meaningful ones too. But I wasn’t comfortable. At first I thought this had nothing to do with my sexuality. I assumed Shybi was a meet up board by the way. Didn’t read the about or the rules. I obviously realized in a few seconds! I remember think oh well, nevermind. I was starving that day and overtired and my casual date had cancelled, but I stayed and read a few topics and thought - hey, I can reply to that! My life was a bit of a mess but I hadn’t connected that my sexual being and even my ability to love a person could exist fully, while still feeling pain, stress and shame about living an almost split life as a result. I’d actually shut down communicating with the people who mattered, just enough to keep us going along - it’s possible to be well matched with more than one person, only to realize that all of you need to work on yourselves as individuals and that compromise in a relationship can become self-sabotage without you even realizing. So I stuck around went through some harder times - AKA the cryptic status updates, for any of the older members who remember! Somehow supporting and interacting with you all made me feel useful. Despite having quite a lot in my life at the time, I didn’t feel that. Over time, your thoughts, feelings and experiences started to have this affect on me. As some of you were questioning yourselves and sharing your journeys, I began to look at myself and saw that I did have insecurities surrounding my sexuality, I responded and supported in the way that was and still is most authentic to me and I was surprised by how natural that felt. By being here, I was able to reconnect with myself and remember that my sexuality is part of me, it’s not an add-on that I need to sideline or usher away, I’m not the shout it from the rooftops kinda woman, but I am excited by the prospect of living, loving and experiencing again. The diversity here has enabled me to understand women better. Sounds silly, but since joining Shybi I understand and empathize more - I often don’t agree but I think without even realizing it, I was repressing parts of myself. Although I’ve always struggled to relate to women from a young age, the opposite of what many of you say, and that’s improved too. I’ve been on here 4 years? So I’ve had time to slowly work things out. Having said that, all of my close girlfriends are similar in nature and we do pretty much cover the spectrum and I’m lucky to have that, but I hadn’t talked to them about anything personal/relationships in years. Pretty ironic, you’ve gay and bisexual friends and it never comes up? Well it did and I was once pretty open, but I spent about half a decade, essentially locked in internalized homophobia. I didn’t see it setting in and so it’s no big deal they stop asking and you talk about other things. For me it came from a place of now your female, non-white, from a low background and it doesn’t matter that you’re almost totally fine, you’re still gonna be registered disabled and you won’t get picked first, second or third - so you can’t be bisexual as well, sorry. If you want to succeed while hitting every point of intersectionality, something’s gotta give. I’d constructed a fragile sense of self-worth from the only part I had control over. But then one day last year I woke up in hospital, half a decade had passed and while I’d survived, I hadn’t live. I’d been relentless in my pursuit that I failed my way to success, but the rest of my life was empty. I spent the rest of that year not just building a life, but building myself. You can do, go and change as many times as you like - it's gonna happen anyway might as well get on board! Now I've got choices, I'm well, I'm content and who know what's out there? Surely, in the long-term, in order to become the best version of yourself, you’ve got to accept the whole package and work it out as you go along. It also happens my package includes an obsession with building things, vision and how to make things better. Shybi has made me better, you've all made better so I’ve gotta accept that hopefully it'll work out in the end too. I don't want to watch it happen. I would immediately fund the site further, if I thought more of you could see what I see. But that’s ok - Shys is a wonderful place if you give it a chance in any state. @la-femme has changed so many lives, I really hope she lets you give back to the site and everyone comes together. Now feels like a good time for me to leave the island. I’m starting a new chapter offline, so perhaps it's a sign, that I’m ready. With any luck they’ll be a new and improved site for me to check out one day and if not I truly appreciate the time and the space, spent here with all of you.
  2. Disclaimer: I have no real right to start this thread. But things have to start somewhere. Everything below is personal opinion/thought and I encourage all of you to have your say. As many of you know/see there is an announcement banner at the top of the site for urgent donations and while those have been met it won't hold the site for very long at all. Now earlier on I posted in the chatbox with no right to do saying that because the quota had been met you shouldn't donate. It's not so much that I don't want you to, it's that I want you all to think carefully before you do. I was quick to donate because of my belief in the value of Shybi. I'm sure we all have our own feelings about the site and how our journeys have progressed because of this wonderful resource that @la-femme has run singlehandedly for a decade. I am truly grateful for this and I admire her for continuing to do so even though she has/is personally suffering as a result. For the site to move forward, it's going to need money, that's obvious. But for us as members this brings up a lot of questions and possibilities. There's also many ways that funding can be obtained in the long-term, but in the short-term if admin is reliant on us, we deserve a say and should not just blindly give without clear knowledge of what we receive. The digital world has advanced considerably since Shybi began. The only slight advantage I have here is that I do have some knowledge in this area. While some of us helped out today, we should have a say in the shaping of the site and we can't blindly give money and hope for the best it's not a solution and also there's always going to be current and future members who can't make financial contributions so it really is a case of coming together to make this a truly useful, accessible resource for those of us already here and all women who type bisexuality into a search engine. I am personally happy to support the site going forward, but I'm by no means writing this to impose myself as a leader - which makes this rather ironic But I do want to see the site grow, and remain because it's important and I will accept more responsibility if need be. Change is coming whether we like it or not, only by discussing it will the site be able to move forward. After giving my donation today, I felt sad not just because it could be lost, but because I've personally known for a long time the site wasn't at it's best - we've all been spoilt by having this place. Our site is a sinking ship and we can only help save it by taking a real interest and speaking up.
  3. I do know, I've always known the path to a degree I just play it down - it has it's comforts and pitfalls. Thanks for your contribution and being a sweetheart @ChemFem for you, mainly it's been years since I fell asleep to music, but if you ever want to it's a good album. I'm posting this one for @myladylove cos it's the truth, you will all survive, rise and grow and I hope this site stays around to help you all through. But mainly cos it'll get stuck in someones head
  4. shybi

    While I understand your point and agree. I also think you would need to look carefully at choices. Willingness and likablity can't be the only factors in the mix. @BiTriMama has already stated that she doesn't feel comfortable with backroom tech, so it's looking is there anyone here who is, cos you need to look at the future, there needs to be balance in the dynamic - it's why for actual maintenance and tech, it should be a paid thing, less pressure. Is there, any point with doing admins/mods now with the site in it's current state? If it was me, I'd hold fire. It's enough to know that admin is considering it. It's too early to draw up a poll too really. It would be worth @la-femme talking to the current mods and establishing communication there, obviously some must be long gone and have no interest but some might be happy to be active if things are on the up and new people just makes it more complicated. Best later option: open it to a poll based on ability/other positives and any current mods who don't make the cut would hand over to the new mods on a specific date, final decision would obviously be made by admin and I think people who are newer to the site should be considered too. It sounds clique and scattered in the past for certain periods so it's gotta be about best for the site, always first and forever. See the above answer as an example of when someone offers an idea or mentions something how my mind works. I'm glad you feel this is a new era for you and your involvement in the site. However, lots of these things to make the site better aren't optional, they're necessary and not every point is up for debate if you want the best outcome. There does need to be real knowledge to run anything well, somewhere in the mix. I can't feel like I'm pushing all the time. It comes across as disrespectful, I've had people say to me they think I have been to you and while I think you know that's not my agenda, just in case - I'm sorry if it feels that way. It's just for every point, there's a point which is why this thread has so many posts in such a short space of time, with very few hard facts and I'm not sure I want to witness this because it's not a pretty process. I'm not gonna agree with a lot of things both you and the members say or do and I'm not saying I'm always right, I'm not, but I don't want to go around trying to explain why and be irritated/irritate anyone. I love this site, I want it to prosper. I just don't believe I'll hold that affection if I stay.
  5. shybi

    I am not up for this challenge, plus don't think @la-femme would pick me anyway. I can't see whatever happens, happen moment-to-moment here so I'm just posting a blog up on what this space and all of you have allowed for me, but now feels like time for me to jump off the island. My pick if there is a vote @BiTriMama has always been a good contributor and I beIieve the newest mod addition, so that should go in her favor. Personally I've always found her to be kind, fair and honest. If the only reason the current admin hasn't appointed others is because they're bitchy, bratty, and risky, then I'm pretty sure she's a safe bet.
  6. shybi

    I was referencing site payments not your personal life, that would be invasive! Just so it's clear, if funding is needed. In terms of Admin there is the option long-term of paying someone not involved in the site for maintenance this would stop some of the drama and issues. It's something that I would be willing to back anyway. I am agreement with looking into all the other points at a later time.
  7. shybi

    We don't really need more ideas, but if we don't have a unified space for them, we'd miss the best ones, in the true nature of Shybi it's an open discussion We'll see how it goes. Unless something changes, I've said and done all I can, like you said there are other things to think about and also other areas of the forum as well!
  8. shybi

    While I encourage anyone who has ideas to continuing commenting on this thread, it is just becoming a sea of ideas and we need to focus on the here and now of the site so I took the liberity of reaching out to @la-femme in PM. See below: Hi, The topic has brought up many interesting points, but it's just becoming a sea of ideas, which is not going to help the site unless we focus on the here and now. Please let me know if the money gets taken and you hear from the 1&1/service providers. I think the best thing we can do for now in order to keep the site is continue to fund it. It'll be easier to work towards if you're willing to share the true running costs of the site with us publicly - ideally with verification or screenshots for transparency. It'd also be in your interest however exposing it is to admit how far out of pocket you are, i know this isn't a very nice position but we all care about the site, It's very likely that most if not all of the monthly costs could be covered. I am personally happy to support if things are made clear but there needs to be an open line of communication. In the short-term the members should know what they will get in return from you as Admin. I understand we're all busy and something that has come up on the thread and in the past is the need for others to have admin permissions, not necessarily exactly what you have, but it would take the pressure off you and ensure the running of the site. There are a few mods on the thread that have expressed willingness. Once things are out in the open it'll be easier to build the future of Shybi but without this, you're struggling and there's less certainty and incentive for members to support. You don't have to be alone in this. Thanks. It's the only way I can see the site going for now and I really hope she'll get on board with this. If Admin does respond to this and open up some of you might not agree or see the point but we need to be in majority agreement regarding what changes and maintenance we want to see short-term in return for funding. I suggest a contract signed by @la-femme stating that she will see these things through as Admin. I do feel uncomfortable suggesting it as she has supported us for so long, but truth is she's suffering for us. If we give, we deserve to know what you're getting in return. Otherwise, we might as well let her close the site for her own sake, even though I know she doesn't want that to happen, if we didn't support a few days ago it would of been reality in the short-term and it could well happen again. End note: I'm not doing this because I want to be Admin/anything like that. It's just once you create an audience, you're responsible and you can tell this is something I spend my life doing elsewhere and I'm passionate about it, so that's translated here .Some of you messaged me, like you're upset, angry etc. No I get off on solutions, potential, growth, vision Creating and changing online is a powerful thing and all of us have benefited from this site. That said, this is about as far as I'm willing to go as an individual for now, I don't want to log on to go round in circles. Please let me know what you think off this.
  9. When you're meant to get 3 deliveries early in the mood and now it's afternoon and you're still waiting on the third... delivery times used to have meaning!

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Hungry


      Oh I think you should it's what all members here have come to suspect, you in a totally submissive and "good" mood just isn't normal! :P

    3. kairi


      Oh yeah I am totally God's gift to shys women!! :P Normal is overrated.  I am never totally submissive with anyone but just for your information I am willing to be only with one and no one else ;) 

    4. Hungry


      Sounds like variety is key and we all are to that someone sometimes :D

  10. shybi

    Totally agree with you. Also there's no point having admins unless they know how to use their permissions and those don't have to be exactly the same as what @la-femme has. Every site I know of has multiple admins, it really makes things easier on everybody. I know some mods have offered in the past, I hope it happens going forward. It'll be great if she can be around more but she shouldn't have to go it alone. If there's only one admin and the site becomes reliant on funding, this is a dealbreaker for me. Might as well be honest.
  11. shybi

    Long-term it's definitely a good idea. Apps like Tapatalk let you register a forum and list it in their index, but you'd still need a board to begin with so that means web hosting costs would still apply. Boards like this have app capabilities for Android and iPhone in their higher packages, inc. are current provider. There are plenty of easy to use and relatively inexpensive platforms for app development these days, but Java/plug-ins would be extra, along with a desktop equivalent. Generating income through ads would ease the burden, but it's a case of startup $ - bottom line are the core members here willing to fund it?
  12. shybi

    It's great that @la-femme is around. I'm thinking based off the entire topic and past few days we should all try to remain where we are for the time being I think that's the general concensus and it's just a case of looking to the future of what we can do here. @ThroughTheLookingGlass86 Pro boards are not a bad option, but they're highly similar to what the current board offers and with Invision software/ There's the chance of offering/adding moe customization. Pro boards do have a higher premium version, Forums.Net which is a likeness It's just a case of checking the full details to see who offers the best value and features. I am more than happy to continue to support the site and admin in any way I can and while at the start of this thread I thought I might have been wasting my time, as usual we've all come together! The only reservations I have going forward is that we continue in this manner and really care for the site as a community and changes are made going forward with more collabaration and transparency. If not then I don't see the point in contributing too much and I think @la-femme can see things need to change in order for Shybi to survive. The future looks bright and we'll still be able to call this place/similar home, hopefully for a long time to come. A big thanks to everyone who has contributed here
  13. Not really, I was curious how the writers researched the show. Aside from my first choice career - I wanted to be a scriptwriter, seems years ago now! I'm always interested in construction of TV, more than viewing it actually!
  14. shybi

    No idea how it works but if it came to it for a while it's something. Let's hope it doesn't come to that but this is as much as about us keeping the site going and having a say as it is relieving @la-femme from having to pay for it. Another option is a forum powered through WordPress, typically known as the worlds #1 blogging platform, it does offer plug-in options and proper integration and support, this is the nearest alternative I can think of at the minute. As the platform is free, just hosting and plugins etc. First hit example - vague but you see what I mean. Although technically most wordpress forums are added to an existing website. I'll look into costs at some point might be better off in the long run! Considering that what the site is running on at the moment is only gonna hold us for a week or two max we need to decide how to proceed. I don't feel it's fair we just wait and hope it gets paid for month-on-month. Although that'd be the easier option and I'm going for that one for the rest of the evening!
  15. I know the writer has written four seasons based on an interview he did in the winter and the Audience twitter is inundated with love and feedback from people loving the show due to it being on Netflix so I would of thought so, shows tend not to bomb if they make into the Netflix realm due to sheer volume of viewers.
  16. You gotta remember that when shows are created they usually have scope for a 4 season ark off the bat so there's usually a couple of filler seasons here and there to me that's what season 2 was and it's what season 3 could be too and then we rev up for 4.
  17. shybi

    Mods have no power or privilege they can't become admins unless la-femme appoints them which she's never done to my knowledge. Last mod I hear from they hadn't replied to any of their messages either since when the site was at crisis point and in donation mode yesterday. Perhaps some form of optional payment is possible in the future, but the point is the site should run based on things that it can generate and build, this is not the best way to ensure success, but it's certainly a short term help if need be? I'm pleased to hear members saying that. Also the original costs I mentioned are very basic. I haven't looked at anything further, so when people start listing we could have this and this and this and then put a figure at the bottom, that's not how it would work out. Also generated income can vary greatly in the early stages. To be honest, I think we all need to slow down a bit, by all means list all your thoughts and contribute the first hurdle is how long we go before believing the admin is not on our side and how we make a singular unified plan of action to have control over the outcome of the site.
  18. shybi

    It shouldn't fall to me, I did think of this initially and almost offered. But this shouldn't fall to me and if the current admin isn't the admin then everyone should get a say - I know most people wouldn't choose me. The way I see it there are 3 options: 1. We give admin another day or so then everyone who donated should either accept their $ are wasted or make a claim on PP for missold goods essentially. We then have to decide if we wanted to get rid of the current admin who and how we want the new structure to put in place by the way. This means contacting her with a contract and possible cash incentive to hand it over. The fact we even need to give her an incentive to a woman who clearly once loved this place is a very sad thing. 2. We accept that la-femme is admin and the board will remain as is on her watch. 3. Do 2 and then once Shybi is down by the domain, I don't imagine she'd be that crazy to keep it forever. That said it means down time but less money today. Like this we have no power and eventually she'll need more money and I love this site but I'm not gonna watch it get sent down the river and pay for it too. There was once a private FB group, I know @Matty had details. I'm not sure if any of the other mods know about that. I do think that connections are good but not everyone is gonna want social media, even I'm on the fence about sharing - something like Whatsapp, Skype or Hangouts seems more private, but enough for networking if need be. To be honest, part of me thinks there's not much point even if the value is there. It's frustrating, but in the coming days I really have to look at if there's any point sticking atound.
  19. shybi

    Essentially if things don't change those members who did donate could actually make a claim for their money back. It'd be decided by Paypal but it's actually got a chance assuming you didn't gift, your $ and la-femme doesn't return. I know you probably all think that's a horrible thing to say, but without a present admin the scope for this site is limited, the moderators don't have much power from what I can tell. As much as we all love the site, I want everyone to be aware they have that option if they wanted to try it while it seems unfair to be the admin of a site there's you have a responsibility and shouldn't wait 24-48 hours before closing to speak up. I know that is harsh. In terms of other people having administerative power while it's something la-femme expressed she'd rather not to change, other people need to be able to make changes, decisions and more importantly actively support members day-to-day.
  20. shybi

    It just means the pages will get more hits and more traffic will help generate revenue, overall rating and placement in the search depends on many other factors. There's more money to be had in people remaining on your site - reading/opening more topics than leaving in short. But there's no point in doing that if you haven't cleared up the site and it's current content first. We could really go round in circles with if, buts and maybes. Give a day or two if we hear nothing then we know. If we hear something then maybe there's a point to thinking.. but I am certainly done for now.
  21. shybi

    Ok so you know when you see links in a post like for instance and you can click, rather than linking to external source which most of the time it's what you get some sites, mostly blogs like to something relevant on their own site like to get more people looking at other content on your site and increasing it's value. For this, there would either need to be posting guidelines or dedicated inviduals who made content which was both useful, relevant to the site and contained link value - make sense?
  22. shybi

    I offered you lotto numbers once and you didn't even play, remember? I started the ball rolling ladies but if nothing comes of this then we know where we stand and what is to come of the site. I hope it doesn't come to that but it'd be wrong of me to encourage anything else at this stage.
  23. shybi

    Sorry, I got cut off The whole point is you or any member here shouldn't really have to worry about this sort of thing unless they want to. In fact on principle I'm not gonna comment further on it until it seems like some change is coming because we could all muse about this but it doesn't mean the site will change - it's not up to us right now and donating should ensure things are taken into consideration so we don't need dictionaries or anything else!
  24. shybi

    It's not really about members. It's about how many people view the site. Many members join and never return, don't post but there are a lot of guests. Traffic is what counts really counts for Shybi. But in order to get good traffic in the first place, the site needs to be optimized: ie. connected to the inital search terms. Bisexual, bisexuality, open relationship, am I bisexual. But over time search engines have developed so they also take into consideration not only the number of visitors, but what they view, what the content of that site is etc. The difficulty here is the content is not policed, we all write our own replies - so quality and relevancy varies which if you discount the search engines not being used well in the first place puts the site at a disadvantage. Ads could work internally and lots of websites use ads, however due to the nature of the site to be a highly regarded site you need to be using quality ads that are relevant, there's also the issue of do those ads having tracking that would invade privacy etc. There's also no point if they're not of interest to the members and they'll drag the site further down. But this is possible in time but it's not a starting point without $ or real vision. Most sites these days are boosted by reaching out - social media, likes - quotes, using a sites content on your own etc. Although the site is accessible to the public now, to get more view I assume the admin figured that was worth a shot - it's not content people are using due to it's nature and the setup of the site. So to be private we can't reach out but we can internally link other posts and topics within threads to make the site more valuable alone it's not enough but it's a start, the whole site would need an overhaul for this though. These are very basic points and we could boost the site, it's just not as straightforward as other websites also I've never done anything of this sort so this is actually a minefield. Marketing affiliates are this sites best option but it's just how they work and how we as members interact with them.