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Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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About Lookingformyself2014

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Profile Information

  • Music
    a little bit of everything!! love me Barry Manilow among others
  • Interests
    Working on myself, reading warrior goddess training and becoming more comfortable in my own skin
  • Favourite Book
    Warrior goddess training
  • Favourite TV Show
    big bang theory, simpsons, Frasier,
  • Favourite Film
    Sound of music, burlesque, the American pie series.

Recent Profile Visitors

2,222 profile views
  1. Lookingformyself2014

    Feeling weird after being complimented by a guy

    You're right:) it was a great confidence booster that day:) im not interested in him romantically, but i do get a little anxious when i know he's around and maybe its because of his compliment..then i realized he also compliments and kinda fliers with other girls as well.. He seems like a big teddy bear and he seemed a little bummed one day when we were talking, that i wasn't excited about a fishing trip he was going on that weekend...
  2. Lookingformyself2014

    Accepting your sexuality

    I started out thinking i was strictly interested in girls and that lasted until i started developing feelings for guys.. I also am realizing that the girl friends i had, i grew an attraction to them as i got to know them better. I find myself checking out girls and a few guys.. I don't broadcast it and i just came out to a friend at work and it turns out that her daughter is gay. So yeah, i have accepted it and don't struggle with as much as before.
  3. Okay, so the other day at work, i was in a tie dye shirt and capris and i had just gotten my lunch, when one of the custodians(male) came over and told me i was looking very nice that day... I thanked him and he even opened the door to the lounge for me and came in and sat down. After that, i could feel him staring at me and it threw me off a little. I think it had to do more with the fact that im not used to being complimented by a guy at work and the fact that to me it came out of nowhere.. In the past, he has smiled at me a lot and seems really sweet..he has been really nice when talking to me and i think also it feels weird because if on some level he is attracted to me, how do i handle this? It may sound weird, but if he noticed how nice i looked, who's to say someone else wouldn't?
  4. Im out to a few people, but for right now im not telling my mom- she is recovering from heart surgery and it would make things stressful right now, and we don't need that..
  5. Lookingformyself2014

    My Sucky Family

    So it has been eye opening to say the least...my mom was in the hospital for 2 weeks and had a heart cath and a valve replaced. She is home now and on oxygen and recovering nicely. It was during this time that i became aware of how certain family members suck and how im treated by them- 1. My sister in law got mad at me for crying in my mom's room and for being frustrated with her. She is one of those Christian types who goes by faith and all she does is pray about everything...honestly annoying to those around who don't believe and full well know this. 2. I then try to ask for some space from her and she blows up at me. I thought we were fine until she goes to my brother because im being too blunt with her and no matter what i said to defend myself, he took up for her. So i apologized to keep things good between us as she is doing my laundry and my brother is bringing me to work. 3. Then while my sister was here, my sister in law felt the need to show off constantly and often talked to me like i knew nothing. They got mad when we went shopping and i didn't want stuff at the store we were at and got pissy about going to another store...my sister in law got mad because i didn't automatically agree with the fruits she wanted me to get.. 4. The whole time not one of them asked how i was doing and would get pissy when i wanted to see my mom in icu by myself. There church friends were more concerned about how they felt and not one mentioned me to see how i was doing..and i live with my mom... 5. My sister in law even went to our landlord about how our house is and no one told me until my landlord was bringing me to work that morning! 6. While we were waiting for my mom to get her surgery done, my sister in law was more concerned with going to see her friend who was in the same hospital and not once did she ask how i was doing that day. She was being very self absorbed and didn't really see how i was feeling... 7. Its after this that i don't even want to be around my sister in law as she is so fake and Thanksgiving/my birthday was hard enough. I went over on Thanksgiving for my mom because i knew she would want me to go with her. 8. Luckily i had great people at work and our landlord and friends of my mom who were there for me during all this.. After all this, i will be glad when my mom can drive and we can get back to normal..i knew there was a reason i didn't care for my sister in law and now i know for sure...
  6. https://photos.app.goo.gl/w3cf73Fr4hMPrQAQ8 So this is my sub bag and i love it..my issue is how to organize it so that it's not heavy. On a daily basis i bring school supplies, miscellaneous stuff like my tablet and chargers and worksheets and books to use with the kids. I don't put a lot in there but it gets heavy anyway... Can i get some advice?
  7. So I have known this for awhile and lately it's like all these differences are jumping out at me- i tend to be more patient about things and my mom gets irritated with stuff so easily and she is way more narrow minded then i am. There is a lot i don't tell her, mostly because i know she either won't want to hear it or its none of her business...im starting to do my own thing for myself and we are pretty close considering i keep a lot to myself . I have to explain about why things make me anxious etc. While there are many things i get anxious about, such as getting shots, that she is fine with and blows it off as no big deal. There are times i feel really different and mainly because i think differently, don't smoke, have other interests and just am different. I have a wild imagination and love bdsm erotica and that is all stuff i know she would be against...which is one reason i don't let her play with my phone... I feel as though i have rambled, but i guess what im saying is that as i get older(im 33) the differences are very apparent...even more so cause i live at home and don't drive yet... I guess im wondering if anyone has been there and done that or has any advice?
  8. Lookingformyself2014

    thinking of an old friend- really need advice!

    So after doing some thinking, I am realizing that the one thing I miss about what we used to have is how we were in our own little world and it occured to me i need to create that for my self. It has been years since i have talked to him and every so often, i start thinking about him and what it would be like if we were to hang out all these years later. I am realizing that one reason i miss him sometimes is because he was amazing at calming me down and we were really close. All of this i am typing is stuff that i am realizing that i need to create these things for myself. I composed a text in my phone the other night so i could get some stuff i wanted to tell him out of my head and it seemed to help, although as i was doing it, i kept thinking of more and more things to add and eventually i stopped..
  9. Lookingformyself2014

    thinking of an old friend- really need advice!

    Thanks for the encouragement:) i hadn't thought of that, but i guess it is true. He went off to university and i was having a hard time with him leaving and he had only said he would miss me a little and we stayed in touch for awhile, but when he started dating his boyfriend and was introducing him to his family, and seeing other friends, all while being a mile down the road from me, i didn't hear from him until the night before he went back to school...That was only because he wanted to find out why i was mad at him...
  10. Lookingformyself2014

    thinking of an old friend- really need advice!

    That is very true...i have to agree there is no going back.we tried to before and i ended it and then we talked and were good for awhile and then once again i hardly heard from him.
  11. Lookingformyself2014

    thinking of an old friend- really need advice!

    That is very true...i have no doubt that he has moved on as he never made an attempt to talk to me after i stopped talking to him..thanks for the reminder we both have changed..that is very true and it was evident years ago..he was more into going out with his friends and doing hookah and stuff like that and that was something i was not remotely interested in..i have grown up around smokers my whole life and have no desire or interest in that kinda stuff... He recently became a deacon of the church where he lives and i thought about commenting on the video link, just something short and congratulate him, but i haven't decided yet...
  12. Lookingformyself2014

    thinking of an old friend- really need advice!

    I do agree..this is something i have known for awhile...it has been years since i have even seen or heard from him and i find myself thinking of him a lot..
  13. So lately I have been thinking of my old best friend who i haven't seen or heard from in years and find myself thinking about from time to time. I was the one who stopped talking to him because he was making no effort to hang out with me and i guess we drifted apart after that... There had been many times I thought of him and thought of messaging him to just see if he would respond and in all those times, i stopped myself because it didnt feel right. I have timehop for Facebook and i have old statuses about him and i would delete them, but they bring back good memories because once upon a time, he was my best friend... Over the years,I have realized that our communication wasn't that good and if we talked more, we may or may not be in touch today...there was a lot of times when it was hard for me to talk to him and looking back, probably many things he didn't tell me. He and I spent a lot of time together, but probably not as much as he did with his other friends... So last night, i got curious for the first time in ages and went on his facebook and found that he moved out of state and pretty much cleaned his facebook out... It was kind of a shock and sign that he had totally moved on and had no past signs of us even knowing each other... I probably sound crazy, but it just shocked me. I know i have changed even though i still live in the same area as i did when we were friends and he has moved out and who knows half the stuff he has done? He would probably say that i haven't done much and that is his opinion...he was the first one i came out to and he was also the one who told me i can't live at home forever... So i don't know...it may be a good thing and it may be time for me to delete statuses off of my Facebook so my brain stops going there... Can i get some advice?
  14. Lookingformyself2014

    keeping things personal and becoming okay with it

    I am definitely okay with not sharing the personal stuff with her because this morning i asked her a question and she basically went off on me saying it was stupid and all this crap and she gets frustrated too easily with me and i know she is cutting back on smoking but still...all i did was ask a question and yesterday she got pissed because i was trying to suggest someyhing she didnt want to do...its like from one day to the next, you don't know what mood she is going to be in..
  15. Sucky morning so far...went to ask my mom a question because i haven't been sleeping lately and my stomach was all screwed up and still is and she gets all pissy and says im asking a stupid question and its ridiculous and i need to figure it out for myself and im like wtf. This is the reason i don't tell her much personal stuff because she gets this way about it....