Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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Everything posted by Lookingformyself2014

  1. So i posted about a co-worker of mine who i thought liked me and was crushing on me and then i found out she is gay and married and her wife is a substitute teacher at my school and they have become foster parents to 3 kids. Well for the last few days her wife comes to have lunch with her and brings the kids who aren't school aged, which is fine and all, but she also lets them wander and that gets annoying. The thing is, i don't know why this drives me crazy. I don't know if its because they are obviously both out and comfortable with there sexuality etc. Can i get some advice? Sent from my LGMS631 using Tapatalk
  2. Okay, so when I was in high school I idolized my chorus teacher . She was funny, an awesome listener and I just loved being around her. I could talk to her about anything and I always wanted to be around her. I was one of her favorites always responsible, dependable and not a trouble Maker or disrespectful... I would stop in her room between classes for a hug and she was always open to it... She used to let me hang out in her room and I would eat my lunch in there and listen to orchestra rehearsal. She was my favorite teacher and there were things I could talk to her about that i couldn't with my mom. I used to throw her birthday parties and I was always bringing her stuff and even the admin called me her sidekick and I was in good standing with them too... When it was time for me to graduate,I hated the idea of it because I didn't want to leave her. Her class was my haven and I also had a crush on her son. He was a sweet heart and everyone knew how I felt about him- course everyone had a crush on him and both he and his mom knew that. And also his girlfriend who is now his wife and mother of their ,2 children.... !looking back, I think I was crushing on both him and his mom without realizing it this could of been the time I realized I wasn't straight but didn't know what it was.
  3. I couldn't agree more...I am very inexperienced and realized a long time ago that I could see myself with a man or a woman... It was while I wax hanging around my gay bestie who I started falling for when I thought I was a lesbian, that made me realize I was bi...I think you were spot on about straight people not having experience and knowing they were straight... That could of been me...looking back I believe that growing up I wasn't straight... I just was never interested in dating guys and I developed tons of crushes that weren't going anywhere... I felt different from other people and it wasn't until I realized that I was straight that I knew why.... I think its awesome that you are so proud and happy about who you are! This is something I'm working on...
  4. Maybe its a good thing Maybe its a good thing that I keep certain things to myself. After thinking about it and seeing some comments on my blog, maybe just maybe I don't have to share everything with family. I mean just because you live with them doesn't mean you have to share all the things that are private... Half of the time before when I would bring up something, my mom wasn't very interested... And if I were to come out to my brother and the other part of the family, it would be up to me and all on me.. Frankly right now I feel that they don't need to know. They don't share every detail of there sex life or whatever with me, so why do i need to? Since I have started blogging again, i am starting to feel more connected and not so isolated. Now I have the desire to blog and even though its the spur of the moment, like this one is, I'm doing it. This is another part of what I was missing from my friend. We used to talk about all sorts of stuff from the kinky to the not kinky....
  5. So...many years ago I was hanging out after a choir concert with my former bestie and he had a few of his friends ride with us.. So we start talking and I don't remember what I said exactly, but the next thing out of his mouth was something along the lines of stopping my lesbian bitching or something. I was shocked- I about crapped myself....so we get to the restaurant and we are sitting there and I'm fine and I'm just not really saying anything and so we go to his car and Drop his friend of at her car and we get going and I'm still being quiet and he knew I was pissed. So as he's driving, he starts apologizing and said he got caught up in the Moment and I forgave him because that wasnt something he would go around and broadcast.... And the rest of the time we were friends, he never did it again
  6. I know what you mean..my mom was saying that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant and have a grandchild for her. I remember at one Point she said that at least she would have grandkids from my sister as my brother and his wife don't have kids, anyway, I think you hit on the problem your mom is having... I wish I could tell you what to do about your mom's thoughts....about the only thing I can say is just be patient and do you... Hang in there...
  7. It shocked me, for sure:) was not expecting that to happen:)
  8. So I got a haircut yesterday- the first in awhile and it was a new place and I was feeling really really shy. I like my hair short and the lady cutting my hair was seeing how short it was and when she put her hands in my hair, I about melted:) I have never had another person especially a lady put her hands in my hair and now I want more.... I felt like I had discovered something new and she must of done it a few times and each time was awesome...she is older than me and I believe married, but it made me realize that I want someone's hands in my hair in the future... Afterwards it was all I could think about and I think I even felt myself getting wet while sitting there.... We go back in a month for a touch up-:)
  9. Congrats on coming out:) it is very hard and I can understand what your going through with your mom...when I first came out to my mom, she said she was fine with it and then started to say it was a phase and it was because of my gay best friend...but that was years ago and we haven't talked about it since...you should be proud that you came out as its a big step and I would say that now that you told them, take a deep breath and relax and see what happens... Good luck:)
  10. Well it has been forever since i have been on here and im back because I've been realizing lately that i need to connect with people...i had a dream the other night and in my dream my old friend came to me and it felt so vivid and real and i knew it meant something. What it meant to me was that i need to be myself and do my own thing which means wearing makeup and again wearing my pride necklace and just starting out with little things...when we were friends, i was a little more out there and especially with him and did my own thing. I was for awhile and then i started getting caught up in what other people thought and im slowly working on it and im realizing that i need to work on being myself more...i keep a lot to myself and most of it has to do with my sexuality. It is constantly on my mind and i do mean constantly...that's probably because we were really close and we talked about everything and then he was the first person i came out to and im not out to anyone now...it has been in my mind constantly and i just don't talk about it now...anyone in the past i have talked to i don't now and right now i just don't feel like constantly telling people...
  11. I hadn't thought of it like that, but I think your right that she does have the right attitude... She has never rejected me so I see what you mean...that sucks about your family and if mine did that, I would definitely limit contact and walk away if I had to
  12. The one person i could talk about this with is no longer a friend so i have started to blog...i feel alone sometimes too..i stay to myself a lot cause most of my thoughts have to do with my sexuality and i don't want to start mentioning about people i like because i don't want a big deal made of it..like when i thought a guy was cute...
  13. I know what you mean...when i first started hanging around my gay best friend, there were people around me who kept saying he was nice for a gay guy and my neighbor thought he was bi and made a few comments about it... I think that's one reason i don't want to tell people, when i came out to my mom as a lesbian, she told me it was my buisness and she didn't want to hear about it... It has been awhile, but we don't talk about it..
  14. So tonight our neighbor came over and we were talking about religion and she was asking me if i went to the church to look for cute guys and it totally threw me off guard because it was unexpected and also because right now I'm not looking for anyone and just there and honestly if i was looking for someone, i don't know if it would of been a guy or a girl and after our conversation i realized i need the connection that i had before where i could talk to people about this stuff going through my head.
  15. 90's music...vitamin c graduation was 8th grade end of the year song... All star by smashmouth, and so many more
  16. I do feel invisible...im not out to anyone and don't really have a connection with people i came out to...i don't talk much about it and i have a few pride necklaces i have made and have started wearing them..but i don't go around and tell people, although my mom knows i like rainbows:)
  17. It's hard to say...i know im not straight and i have been attracted to guys and girls...lately i find myself checking out girls a little bit more and not really guys so it's hard to say...
  18. Thanks for sharing! Ive seen this Before on YouTube, but it is an awesome video!! Most of the music on my ipod is Barry manilow...i listen to him constantly!!!
  19. Am I the only Barry Manilow fan here?
  20. Wow!! That would of been awesome to see!!
  21. I agree...the last guy i liked turned creepy and after 3 years i realized it wasn't going anywhere and i had started talking to someone but she wanted to go a lot faster than i was ready for and i cut it off.. its to the point where my family doesn't ask or say anything and i keep that to myself about who im attracted to and i have noticed i comment more on what girls are wearing than guys, and when i was asked that i didn't even know what to say..i just know it was a little awkward because it had been awhile since i was even asked. Im home most of the time and i don't drive so im pretty much limited to internet and when my old bestie was around it was assumed we were a couple at first because He was gay..
  22. That sounds awesome!!! The only time i have seen him perform is on a dvd of a concert from 2003. i have watched so many times its skipping horribly now lol What is your favorite barry song?
  23. After what seems like forever, im back and feeling the need to connect with people and need to change a few things for me. I have also posted 2 new blogs tonight...


  24. Hi all, I just had an interview today and i think it went really well!! It was the best one i had yet and now im feeling antsy because i want to know if i got it... Myquestion is, what do you do after an interview so that you're not sitting by the phone waiting to hear something? And that your not stressing about the outcome!
  25. After some time I am starting to be comfortable in my own skin and im starting to see it as a good thing:) I'm not really worrying about what other people think, but focusing on what i think and what i like. Im also at the point where right now I don't need to tell people because it isn't about what other people think.. This is still new to me, and at times I'm like is this really happening? I think what has really helped is letting myself explore things that i am into or think about girls that i think are pretty etc and not feeling guilty about it...