A little over a year ago I started a relationship with a close friend, we are both married and husbands are aware that we are together. It's been hard balancing but I fell in love with her. Here's where I'm confused. About two weeks I decided to call my old best friend with whom I lost contact with 5 years ago. She was my closest friend we shared everything. Well when I called her it was like we never stopped talking, within minutes of the conversation I told her I was bi and had a gf. She was shocked since she came out as a lesbian when we were teenagers and I was a straight as they come. We talked for hours and texted most of the night. The next day I texted her letting her know I was sotry if I ever led her on because I would flirt then pull away. I explained that it wasn't intentional and that I just realized last yeat I may have had a crush on her when we were younger. Turns out she was in love with me for many years but was afraid to tell me because I was in and out of relationships with men. Forward two weeks, we have texted everyday since shared some memories and both confessed that we are still curious. She admitted she still has strong feelings for me but she is married to a woman right now. My GF knows some of what has been said but I feel like I'm cheating on her because I'm sharing things I've only been sharing with my gf for the past year, I've also done some flirting in text and on the phone some may say light sexting. We actually discussed putting boundaries and set some in place but it seems as if we can't. I don't know what to do because she was and still is my best friend and I am curious but I also feel like it's not right. My gf has given me permission to explore if that's what I need to do since she was my first. Although she is jealous, dhe said she just wants me to be happy and doesn't want to hold me back. We have been exclusive up to this point. (Except three random woman who found the need to grab me and kiss me without consent) Anyway im not sure what to do. Do I ignore my best friend or just continue? I'm so confused..I don't think it will lead to much but a one night stand because she lives fat away me and is in a closed marriage. She confessed she feels like she will cheat on her wife if we're alone together because she's had the same feelings for me for 23 years and wants to know of we have a full connection. She's not the type to cheat so I know her feelings for me are intense right now with what is and wish I would have..I don't want to hurt her or my gf..
Oh I should tell you the other night I was with my gf and we were kissing and I found myself thinking about this other girl for a second...ugh it made me feel bad..