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About findtheway

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  1. I recently moved into a smaller town and started living with my girlfriend. As this is a smaller community, I am not out here. I know some gay people and they are not out. My gf mostly is (family, coworkers), but she does pay a certain price for that. Back home I was out. All of my friends know about my sexual orientation, most of my family and I was out at my jobs. Back there I have no problem talking about my gf and calling her just that, a girlfriend. But here the situation is different. The town is much smaller and some of the people I sometimes work with directly are bigoted, in more ways than one and homophobic. As my occupation is freelance oriented, I'm worried that being openly out could influence my work, job offers. Maybe I'm right, and maybe I'm not. But it's not a chance I'm willing to take. Not now, anyway. As I'm new in this community, I am getting to know people. And some are open-minded, for some I just can't say. And even to those that I know would be ok with me being with a woman, I am not ready to come out because people talk and it takes time to build trust. All of this is so frustrating. I came out fairly recently and accepted my gayness and now I am hiding it again. I feel like a hypocrite when II talk about my ex boyfriend, but my current girlfriend, a woman I share my life with, call my roommate. I know it takes time to adjust in the new environment, but it is not always easy. In some ways it feels like a step back. It is a decision I made, to move here, and now I want to make the best of it. But some words of wisdom would help.
  2. Thank you ladies. I know you are right. I am pretty much gay. And I know I want to be with a woman, I want to build my life with a woman. I actually met a wonderful woman on-line recently, we clicked, it felt so good, but it just ended because it would have been long distance with hardly any chance of changing that. If we'd have been in the same place geographically, we'd have ended up together. She restored my faith in women; just knowing that she is out there, and that must be some others like her, it helps. Your story really stuck with me for some reason. So when I seriously consider running away from women to men because of the wrong reasons, I remind myself that it can go bad. Thank you for sharing.
  3. findtheway

    End Of A Relationship That Wasn't

    It felt real because the emotions were real. The connection was real. I'm sorry you had to go through that.
  4. findtheway

    What Gives Him The Right?

    It sounds horrible and I believe it can be classified as sexual harassment. Maybe you can report him to someone. As someone who took was way too tolerant at workplace in the past, I think you should, But I don't know your circumstances, what would be the result, or do you even want to do that. Do nice guys sexually harass female colleagues? Quoted sentence I have a problem with. It is so sexist! I'm not saying you are sexist, but that we have been brain washed that men can do what they want and get away with it because they are "basically nice guys". There is no such generous tolerance for women, they are judged instantly. And it is not fair to men who really are nice guys.
  5. findtheway


    Ahoj! I'm not from the Czech Republic, but I am Slavic and I speak Czech.
  6. I know there is no general answer to this question, that it depends on the person. Having said that, my experiences with women are way messier than those with men. I was so brutally flirted with, and than when I showed genuine interest in hooking up, had them back out. I had a girl invite me to her room to sleep with her (more than once), she was not sober, though, and the time I was willing to accept her invitation, her friend showed up and messed my plans. And when I told her I'd like to kiss her the next evening, she was surprised, shocked even. WTF?! I even managed to hook up with the narcissistic stalkery girl. Luckily it didn't last long, I ended it in time, and there was no real damage. I know that these are my individual experiences and not the general rule, but these things never happened to me with men. I think women are so much more complicated and messy than men. I didn't have a lot of partners, neither sexual nor romantic ones. Since I came out, I dated women exclusively. I lost interest in men. Now I am single for some time now and I haven't had sex in almost six months and I am starting to miss it really hard. I even started thinking about men sexually. I think that the loneliness and too long abstinence have something to do with it. If I would find a man really attractive and have a chance to have sex with him, I wouldn't refuse it, I guess. But when a guy hits on me seriously, I am not really interested. I just find women so much more interested and attractive. I feel for women what I never did for men, neither in the range of emotions or in intensity. I said a few times, if I would know that I could feel complete with a man, I would forgo women instantly and focus on men. But I feel that I would always miss being with a woman. And I don't want to turn to men out of despair, I think that it can lead to a bad path. But women seem to be driving me crazy the way the men never did. And yet, I want a woman!
  7. Several months ago, I started chatting with this woman I met on a dating site. It was nice, it was fun, it was fulfilling. As the time went by, the chats were more frequent and in the conversations we started to feel a real connection. We started having regular skype calls that would last for hours. She is an amazing person. And we are so compatible. We share the same values, a lot of similar interests, same type of sense of humor, very similar world view. We clicked on so many levels. And the communication got so intense. We are great for each other. And we both know it. So, where is the problem? Distance. She lives over 1000 miles away. When we first started to chat she was in my country for a short while, but she lives abroad. She has a job that doesn't leave her a lot of free time. And I just got a job that will keep me in one place with few days off for months. We were supposed to meet in few weeks, she will have some time off. It was all arranged. But she ended it yesterday. And I agree with her. It is the most reasonable thing to do because the relationship would have been going nowhere. We wouldn't be able to see each other for months. And we both want more. I was even willing to give it a shot, but it would have been so bloody difficult with hardly any future because our lives are leading us in different directions. Even she said that it would have been different, the two of us, if we had been living in the same town. Part of me is ok with this, but a bigger part of me is just hart-broken. I fell in love with her. And I believe it was similar with her. If we had met, there would have been a ton of steamy wonderful sex, a lot to talk about and just nice and fun. But it would be short. And than, after that, it would have hurt a lot more. I was willing to take the pain for the joy though, but she wasn't. Soon I am moving to another city to a nice new job where I'll be involved with a lot of people, and there are a lot of foreigners there, the atmosphere is relaxed and I'm sure that there will be a lot of chances for something casual, if nothing else. I'm ok with casual sex, if we are both on the same page until something serious happens. I had some bad experiences with women. They flirted and then backed out for no obvious reason, they messed with my head and emotions. If I thought that a man would be enough, I'd turn to men exclusively. But I know I'd miss a woman's touch way too much. I don't want to deny this to my self. And a part of me is aware that it could backfire. I don't want to run. She restored my faith in women. She took my heart away. She has what I am looking for in a woman. And I am so right for her. She said that. She even told me that I look like I fell out of her dreams. We match, we feel something for each other. And we can't be together. It is ironic and a bit cruel. So now I feel sad and disappointed. Not in her, but in the way it all played out.