Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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Everything posted by Vampire

  1. I'm with Ona a bit here. My feelings always get me into trouble. I always fall for the wrong person. I do get strong connections to people but it rarely gets returned. I also go on the way the person responds to me as in body language etc. Not always a good guide tho. Some people are very disciplined in controlling their emotions, i find it very hard. The only way I'm sure is in the obverous. If they ask me out or they make the point to touch me as they pass by. Or Just say straight out they are interested. I'm a very straight person in the way I do things etc like I say what I feel and do what I say. People who know me usually are the same. I will usually give the hint that I like them and will leave it there. I will wait for their reaction. If none, then I'll move on. Your friend may just have good control over her feelings. With you being married could be a reason she's holding back. I'm single and if I was in her shoes I'd hold back as well. However, I'd drop a few hints along the way, so keep your gaydar tuned just in case. But keep working on that friendship. It takes time to build trust. To answer your question straight out tho. There's no real way of knowing unless they tell you. Don't give up, and good luck.
  2. My number 1 reason for getting married and having sex was to have kids. Number 2 was I cared for him and thought we had a good chance of having a long and happy marriage but it wasn't meant to be. I was a fool to think it would but life can change so quick. Most of us women, want the passion, the emotional connection and a bit of romance thrown in, most men it's only in the courtship stages that that applies. Of course it's only my opinion and how I feel on it. I always wanted to be treated with respect and (to be frank) wanted my pussy to be treated like the holy grail. And not to be treated like it was yesterday's newspaper. Apologies for my language here. My point being, another woman usually does respect that and takes the time to care for it like one does for a blooming flower. If it's not nurtured, it wont bloom. Your probably not gay, you might just need more attention. More caring for at this point in time. You might be a higher number on the Bi spectrum, like a 4 or 5 on the Kinsey Scale where, someone else might only be a 2. I sit on about 3, we are still Bi. Another thing I thought of was some people aren't meant to be together forever. Myself and my husband just grew apart. We ended up with nothing in common anymore. So we slit the sheets and moved on. (17 years married). Life is in chapters sometimes. You might be starting a new phase in life. Maybe just go with the flow and see where it takes you.
  3. I was actually 31 when I first encounter the love of an amazing woman. Now I'm 55 and have never been with a woman since then. So much can change. My, then husband, was/is very homophobic. Rural Australia still is. Don't feel stuck, you will find someone. Your still young and life can change in the blink of an eye. I've learn to accept myself just as I am. I know what I want and I just have to be patient and hopefully I'll find someone just as you will. Hugs.
  4. I can relate to this and have wondered if I was as well. I never loved sex with a man really. Part of the lovemaking or foreplay process I did, but the actual act of penetration not really. It was just the ending to it, an end to the fun. But being with a woman was fun too and sometimes it still got boring. I've learnt to just please myself really and not overthink it all. Maybe we just get bored too easily and need to rev up the romance in these relationships. Age is a big worry as we don't look as good anymore. The tool becomes more useless. But I'm definitely Bi. Always will be.
  5. In the past I was always submissive with a man. Submissive with sex in general. After my experience with a woman, I found a new side to me, a side I never thought possible, to be more dominant. Even with a man now, I'd rather be more dominant, strange really. My very first sexual encounter was when I was 15, and a nasty one it was. Being dominant now I think gives me the control I never had.
  6. Sorry to hear this red. It sounds menopausal as well. Could it be? Hormones play a big part in this as well. How does your husband feel about it? Coconut oil works well for a lube. Maybe different positions where it is easier for you. Hope you find a solution. Hugs.
  7. Yep i know that feeling well. Welcome to shybi.
  8. Hello and welcome to the wonderful of Shybi. How is lovely Melbourne? Hopefully spring has sprung. I've never been there but one never knows, right. This is a great support site so ask any question and take time to browse the forums. Good Luck.
  9. Welcome Monti, I have No idea. This is a great support site tho. Being in Melbourne, Is there any LGBT meet ups in your area.? I'm in rural QLD and No such thing here. Hopefully you will find something.
  10. That song popped into my head as soon as I saw the post. Lol. And yep, a nice set of pins is definitely a pleasure to look at.
  11. Yes Ma'am, you nailed it. It's about annoying each other. Taking time to respect the body. Like a prize garden, it has to be nurtured and given love in order to bloom. If neglected it may die and it taked a lot of work to get it to blossom again.
  12. This is a tough one to answer. I actually can't remember the last time I had sex, with anyone. Seriously. If I can try hard enough and cast my mind back, I think plenty of kissing and heaps of foreplay, massages are fantastic, depending on the mood and who it is with. That chemistry has to be there for me. The lovemaking has to be genuine, and with the right person. The emotional component has to be their, male or female. A woman is better with the emotional part more then men are usually, and there are times when the good ol quickie is great too.
  13. Something about New Year makes you dig around in your old CD boxes and find those old favourite songs you liked. Some I never even think about until New Year. I worked in a pub as a barmaid in the early 80s and got so sick of the hits, I thought I'd never listen to them again. 30 years later, I'm digging them out. Some are still on tape. What are some of your favourites from that era.?? I have so many but here are some. Your so Vain by Carly Simon Relax don't do it by Frankie goes to Hollywood. One night in Babcock (can't think of the singers) Cambodia by Kim Wilde Self Control by Laura Branigan Fade to Grey by Visage Keep on Loving you by Reo Speedwagon. I want to kiss you all over by Exile ???
  14. It's possible it maybe perimenopause, definitely a hormone imbalance. Could be something to do with the adrenals as well. If you get a hormone test done, go for a saliva test, it's more accurate. If you have implants used for contraceptive purposes might be interfering with hormones as well. Definitely talk to your GP. Perimenopause can be a pretty crap time. Good Luck. X
  15. Welcome to Shybi. It's a great site to help you sort stuff out. I've been here over 3 years now and there were times I would have been lost without the ladies here. It has been a kind of family really. I'm in a situation where I can't be out, but through this site, I can express myself fully without too much judgement. I'm happy in my own skin and that's what matters. Relax and enjoy.
  16. I love this onw, One of my girls favourites.
  17. I'm a late 70's 80's gal but anything that has a great beet. This has always stuck with me over the years. Music is a big thing for me. I couldn't live without it.
  18. I need friends like me to but, I don't think there is anyone else like me... Lol. I know what you mean tho. I couldn't resist on saying, "Geez ladies, don't you watch any gay porn?. Educate yourselves" Lol. Make a joke out of it and leave it to their imagination. And there is the first time for everything. Getting the art of saying something to awaken their narrow minds but still not giving away anything, is an definitely an art in itself. Can be fun.
  19. I live in a small rural town in Australia and have a similar issue. I identify as Bisexual as that is what suits me best. Having said that, I could be attracted to any gender as it's the person that I love, not their bits n pieces. I've never meet anyone who is transgender or anyone who identifies differently, so I can't say with 100% accuracy that I'm Pansexual, so Bi covers it for me. To me, we are all human and I just love who I love.
  20. Money was never a good motivator for me. I'd rather starve than give up. It was when i had my first daughter and she was my insensitive. I knew if i didn't give up i wouldn't be alive to see her grow up. I was noticing i had less oxygen. Id run out of breath easier. My legs ached after a days work. So, it had to go. I do have some permanent damage. I do get breathless. It was the 70s when i started. Everyone smoked then. Fortunately my girls don't.
  21. Lol. Just keep it in mind. I was the kind that if there was a cigarette in the house, I'd rip the place apart until i found it. Many times i drove up to a servo at some late hour of the night to get another packet. It's mind over matter really. If you think of it, your gone. Everytime the thought that you need a fag, change your thought. Think of something different. Divert your attentions asap. Like after a meal was a bad one for me. (The best part of a meal was the smoke after it), so , get up straight away and wash up etc. Remembering deep breaths as you do. It will get easier. Some churches run programmes as well. This can be good as you meet people going through the same thing. Look on the bright side, there might be some hot girls there... lol. I don't drink or smoke now days. Sugar has been my addiction after i gave up. Yep, i ate all the shit in the world after i gave up. Put on weight. But I'm still better off. You'll get there mate. Go day by day.
  22. Gee, I feel for you. Too long ago now for me but have you seen an acupuncturist, chiropractor or even a naturopath ? They can sometimes help by keeping nerve supply healthy etc. A naturopath can sometimes do a saliva test and check hormones. Oops, sorry, too much info. Maybe just go with hot packs or gentle walking could help with the immediate pain. Hopefully you'll find something.
  23. I quit 22 years ago. I haven't touched it since. I was a heavy smoker, starting at about age 12. I tried everything at the time. And eventually went Cold Turkey. For me it was very hard but it's something you have to make up your mind, "You don't smoke anymore and move on". Not just a quick one, not just a puff, it has to be nothing. You have to distract your mind constantly. Divert your attention elsewhere. Deep Breaths will lower the cravings. Keep away from stimulants like Coffee, Alcohol, sweets. They used to call it CATS, which is Caffeine, Alcohol, Tabaco and sugary foods. These will make it harder but it just bloody hard either way. I found that chewing gum etc just reminded me of it all the time. It took me awhile but so much more gratifying and it makes you feel great when everyday you go without it. I wish I never did it but that's the way it was. I hope you find a way that you can do it. Best of Luck.
  24. I envy you. Lol. I've actually never been hit on by women and only once or twice by men. I'm 55 but I look about 47 I've been told. Young at heart to. I also prefer older woman and men but now I'm older, i prefer younger. Life must be so fulfilling for you. I've never been to bars tho as where I live there isn't any and it's not my thing. It is an interesting topic. Great to here different views on it all.