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About Confused2015

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    French Kisser

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  1. Yes I have spoken to her about it on many occasions. That and the lack of any affection or intimacy. I feel like we are just two people raising a child. She shies away from the conversation or says it’s because she is tired. I am just at this point where I am happy to look after our child and do what I need to do for the household but at the same time I want affection and intimacy with someone.
  2. Thanks both for your input - pretty useless at these things. My marriage hasn’t been great for the past year, I feel pretty lonely- it’s been a while since I have actually liked someone and got excited to see a text. Not sure about her marriage as she never talks about it or her husband. I need to think about this. But if I did want to take it further with her what do you think the best approach would be? Like how should I go about making it clear I like her?
  3. Hi everyone. I’m trying to figure out what is happening with this girl I met. I met her at the gym - she came up to me and introduced herself and got my number that same day so we could workout together- she said she really liked how I trained and wanted to learn. We now see each other 3 times a week - she actually changes her shifts to make sure she can train with me. So we have been getting to know each other she’s married (to a guy) and she knows I’m married to a woman. I’ve been trying to not think about it but I have finally admitted to myself I find her really attractive. I’ve noticed lately how much we text- like today we worked out really early in the morning and have text about all sorts all day since seeing each other. I’d told her this morning that she looks like Jessica rabbit. Later when texting she sends a muscled up version of Jessica rabbit to me. I reply saying “Wow that is HOT. I like girls, this would be too distracting for me” to which she replied I know right, by the end of the year I’ll look like that . Always liked muscular women.” I’m not wondering how she likes muscular women?? yesterday she had been on a night out with her work team and she was texting me she was bored and texted me all evening. i don’t have a lot of female friends so I’m not sure how much texting is normal? Also the fact she chose to text me when she was bored I found interesting seeing as I am just a gym buddy rather than a friend/her husband. Sometimes she will send a couple of texts and I won’t have replied and then I see she sends another one a while later - so I kinda thought she must still be thinking about me? she made a comment today about her not being able to finish her exercise as I distract her and then quickly said she was joking. I only see her at the gym- I have a tight schedule and always running around and she had family and work too so I don’t have that much interaction outside of the gym to add- I have caught her looking down my top but that could have been down to my gym clothes catching her eye. She also likes watching me lift but again I don’t know if it’s just likes watching. Argh! not sure what to do to figure this out or is it obvious?
  4. If she’s into me and does want something to happen then I am more than happy for that to happen. Fine with her being married, she is in a relationship which doesn’t make her happy but religion, her children, and her upbringing all make her stay as it’s what she believes. But I care for her a lot and would be happy to have the smallest thing with her. She mentioned going to visit a friend’s memorial and then after going to a bar she knows. She didn’t mention other people from work so I am wondering if it’s just us. I am thinking of following up on this. Patience is definately the key with her, I know from experience with her that if I do something a bit more than she expects then it takes her a while to process but as she mentioned the drink I’m hoping I am in safe territory to ask further about it.
  5. Been trying not to think about it too much as it is driving me nuts but it’s like when I try not to she does something to set me off again. Yesterday she kept telling me how good my legs looked and how hot I looked. In front of a friend she had said how hot I looked and my friend asked if she thought what I was wearing was hot or whether it was me she found hot. My crush said she found what I was wearing hot and that I was a sexy friend. I said “oh ok a friend, thanks, I’m going to stop trying with you now”. To that she quickly started playing with my zip near my chest and told me not to stop. Theoughout the day another coworker had mentioned a girl I was talking to and I had said she was hot to which my crush looked jealous. I thought it might have just been me thinking that however my friend from earlier mentioned to me how pissed off my crush looked about it. later on the way home together (just me and her), we were talking and she said how me and the friend from earlier were good friends. I said yeah we are close I guess as we both have something on each other. My crush replied “she has on you that you are into me, there she has nothing on you anymore”. I said I guess that’s that then. She then said “If I batted for your team then its you I would want to be with. I’d do everything with you...but we couldn’t get drunk” (against her religion). So I am guessing she’s telling me we would be having sex ;) while on the train it was really noisy and she was leaning into me, whispering into my ear- it took so much self control. So she’s pretty clued up I’m into her but the fact that she was happily in my personal space I’m guessing means it doesn’t bother her. I am wondering if her telling me she would be with me means she has some attraction? You wouldn’t just say that right? I’m a lesbian and have never really had attraction to men so I couldn’t imagine saying/acting like that towards a guy, so wondering from you bi ladies if you would act this way if you are attracted?
  6. Not much of an update, she has shown some actions which I think are flirtatious like when laughing leaning forward and putting her head into my neck and randomly when waiting to go through a security door, and again in a lift, she hugged me from behind- all good I thought. Today we were with someone else and I made a comment that was flirtatious and the guy said to her whether she would be up for it with me. She said no and that I didn’t float her boat. I was like fine and laughed. Later we were alone and she said she had brought me up in a meeting about something which was a positive for me. I said that she had only slightly redeemed herself for earlier when she said she didn’t want me. She said no it’s me not you, I’m just not ready yet and laughed. I am confused whether it was a joking thing to say about not being ready and actually she isn’t comfortable with her sexuality and does like me (and maybe wanted to just deny all liking in front of this guy), or she really doesn’t like me and I should back off! She really messes with my head. It’s like her mouth says one thing and her we’d say something else, like she says I don’t float her boat and yet when the train rocked today and she fell into me, to the point we nearly kissed, she gave me this huge smile that left me like wft
  7. This is such good advice. I have this habit of not acknowledging her sometimes which probably gives her mixed signals and we go back to square one. I get nervous/scared (probably fear of rejection) and then can't even look at her. Made a real effort today to make sure I did. We didn't get much time to chat however we did have a conversation and she grabbed my hand as she was emphasising a point, complimented me and playful pushed me over as I was bent over so I feel like we ended on a good footing before the holidays
  8. Hi blueberry - the caressing her hand with my thumb seems like a good move. I will give that a go. The Christmas holidays will probably now get in the way of seeing her properly- sigh :(
  9. So would say you the hand holding I describe is because she likes me like that? Or it could just be a friendship thing?
  10. I do want something to happen but she is married and it's not the type of marriage where she can see other people. So I just find myself in this weird game with her not knowing if she likes me or not or how it is she likes me. but I just find hand holding a real big move, particularly as we were around other people we work with (although she was really discreet about when she was holding it)
  11. Ok I know nothing will happen between me and this woman but I feel like it's driving me insane not knowing if she likes me or if it's all in my head. she is my coworker. We were on a train today and there was no where easy for me to hold so she said to hold her hand so I didn't fall over- i did and then after a few seconds she pulled away and looked nervous. She then grabbed it again a few moments later and we stayed like that until there was more room. I can easy put this down to a caring friend. however later this evening a group of us from work were walking to an event. She holds my hand on the way there. She then grabs my other coworker but only linking her arm through- she doesn't hold her hand (I read it's important to see how people react with others compared to you when gauging this sort of thing). She let's go of the other coworker but keeps holding my hand until we arrive. Later this other coworker was like "what was that, she was holding your hand!" Later at this event we were going upstairs, our hands brush and we hold hands going up the stairs and as we walk into the room. She made a comment which was hard to hear but she said that it would be fun coming to this event together and that we look like a couple because we were holding hands. there are other things she does, but I felt like the hand holding was significant, quite an intimate thing to do. What do you think about this??
  12. Thanks guys you are all so sweet . I've actually lost a load of weight since being called 'so cute' and the same woman told me I look sexy now. Clearly I just have to eat salads for the rest of my life now lol
  13. This sounds like an experience I am still going through years later. Same setup as you with a coworker and she does all the things you mention. I would have put it all down to friendly behaviour but I have another coworker who is gay, who has started with our company recently. She made comment to me the other day about how much my coworker looks at my chest and brings up gay talk. Makes me wonder if she is confused but being married and religious is too scared to do anything about it
  14. I guess some of it is my perception, probably because of how I get treated - asked what do I study (obviously thinking I'm 18), being talked down to, etc. And then the whole you are so small (5'3) which then people add the cute thing too. Added to that no one has flirted with me in a very very long time, I just feel down about myself
  15. Hi everyone So the other day I was telling someone that girls always think I am at least 10 years younger than I am due to my face and the fact I am always getting id'd (I'm over 30!). She said but it's a good thing and you look so cute! I told her that it has affected me going on dates and again she said the whole cute thing. At this point I started to think about the fact girls do not hit on me or if I flirt with one they don't seem to get that I am. Does anyone else have a cute problem? I really don't want to be viewed this way but have no idea how to get out of it. Even when I am assertive or more dominant I am still told I am cute...sigh! i feel like I need to change something about myself to break away from this but I have no idea what. I feel I always end up being the friend of a girl I like while she tells me about the 'hot' girl she likes. I guess I just need some advice.