Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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FlaGrl08 last won the day on May 23

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  1. I hear ya. I do. And when the burn is there, no amount of caution can put out that flame. I'm not here to discourage you because I totally get it. Keep us posted!
  2. There is an amazing freedom in not giving AF. For those in the throes of unrequited or unhealthy love who just want to be "over" her, I'm here to tell you it does eventually happen.
  3. Nailed it! I want to add that I was in a similar situation, except my friend made it clear that she was attracted to women and had been with women, in a threesome context, in the past. And I could never put my finger on it, but I sensed she was attracted to me, too. Then, one night, sex happened between us (confirming my instinct that she felt the same attraction for me), and the roller coaster that came afterwards totally sucked. It took me years to untangle myself from her and that mess. I wish you the best of luck. If you don't get to explore this side of yourself with her, maybe it will happen with someone else.
  4. In this forum, you have a great sounding board for your feelings. Use it. While it's great that you have good friends in real life, sounds like they may be in the awkward position of being stuck in the middle since they're friends with you and her. That's a sucky place to be. Use this forum as a way to get your feelings out. There's a way to blog on here, I think. Post. Comment on others' posts. You will get lots of sympathy and advice from people who have been where you are (like me). You're right...her don't-give-AF attitude makes her immune to the heartache you're experiencing. You feel vulnerable and weak. One thing that helped me was listening to various self-help and motivational people on YouTube. I would read tons of articles about walking away from an ex and boosting self-confidence. It gets your mindset in the right place.
  5. It is perfectly normal for you to have a deep emotional attachment to someone you've had sex with. There's not a damned thing wrong with you for feeling that way. You are smarter than I was by avoiding her. I was a glutton for punishment and kept spending time around her, which was torturous. I relate so much to what you've said, here. I cannot even begin to tell you how much. I wish I could tell you there was some particular thing you could do to get over her. There isn't. I think what helped me was not seeing or talking to her as much, combined with reminding myself over and over again of her flaws and the hurtful things she said and did. Plus, the passage of time was helpful. What happened for me is that I realized I'd lost interest in her. It wasn't over night and it wasn't a sudden awareness. It was gradual. I'd think, "I haven't talked to her in awhile. Let's check and see how many days." Then I'd look at my phone and be surprised that I hadn't heard from her in a week and that I didn't miss her. I would make plans with friends of mine, who are also acquaintances of hers (I introduced her to them), and not think to invite her. It would occur to me later that perhaps I should have invited her. Then I'd move on to another thought. That will happen for you, too, I promise. One day you will realize it's been awhile since you checked your phone for a text message from her. Day by day, you will slowly take your power back and she won't dominate your thoughts. I promise you will get there. Hugs to you.
  6. Feels like I've become unchained. It's a freedom I haven't felt in a long time. Every time I thought I was getting over her, I got sucked back in. I agree that this boredom is a good thing, for now. I'm hoping it's temporary.
  7. Good luck! I hope it all works out. Crushes are very fun. They don't hit me often, but when they do, they are very exciting.
  8. I, too, had a sexual relationship with a close friend. Like another poster, I became close to her because I was attracted to her from the get-go. I won't say it ended "badly", but my feelings were very hurt along the way. I wouldn't change it, though. The feelings and attraction are what made the sex so hot. I finally accepted the bi side of myself because of her. I say you should let it happen naturally, since it sounds like that's what's happening, anyway. Keep us posted!
  9. Wow! Hot encounter. I'm so glad to hear things are going well with you and your girl. I know you went through some rough times with the former girl. Girls who play games really suck. I'm glad you've found one who knows what she wants, and wants the same as you.
  10. So happy for you!!
  11. If everyone is still interested, I can start a group message.
  12. Hi, lovely ladies! It's been awhile since I've posted here. For a couple of years, I was head-over-heels for a close friend. She and I had some sexual encounters, but she hurt me deeply because she would push me away. My feelings seemed like they would never end. It took forever and I can't even pinpoint what caused it, but... I'm over her!! Yay! Over the last few months, I've noticed my interest in what she is up to has dwindled. I don't check my phone to see if she's texted me; I don't care if I hear from her; I don't sit on the edge-of-my-seat waiting for her to invite me to hang out. I just don't care. The burn is gone for me! The lovely thing is that life circumstances have meant that we don't see each other much, anymore. I suspect that's been a huge part of it. Also, her flaws became clearer and clearer to me. And they played a part in turning me off to her, too. So, now I am kind of bored!!! What's a girl with a desire for a fun, sexual relationship with another girl to do? Hubby would be ok with me having a sexual relationship with another woman. Nobody interests me, right now. I'm waiting for another crush to strike me, because that's how it started with her. Crushes are delicious and fun. As for her, it wouldn't surprise me if she tried to re-initiate sex at some point. That's just how she is. She loves the chase. It shocks me to even type these words, but if she tried to re-initiate, I would turn her down. I cannot wait to find another woman I have that connection with. She's out there somewhere.
  13. If you're confident she isn't into women, AND she is your boss, AND she is your landlord, I don't see how any good at all can come of you revealing your feelings. Keep this one to yourself. Vent your feelings here or in a blog, but definitely don't tell her. And don't tell anyone who might tell her.
  14. Good luck! I'd hate to see you lose your girl to a guy. Hopefully, she finds a guy who is at least open to her continuing to be with you.
  15. Lots of good points, here. I totally agree about acting normally and it will all run its course. Killjoy has a habit of sabotaging her relationships. In fact, when planning Bestie's bday get together, I realized that all of the people I'd invited were people Killjoy didn't get along with, or had some previous falling-out with. I felt bad that Bestie didn't invite one particular girl because she knew Killjoy wouldn't be happy. I truly think Killjoy will eventually be mad at Bestie over something and the situation will take care of itself. I will just have to suffer in silence and continue to behave as I always have until then. I really like your suggestion about asking Bestie's opinion rather than dumping my hurt feelings on her. I'm sure I'll get an opening in a conversation with her, soon, to say something. I can even say it jokingly, "Am I imagining it, or does it seem Killjoy is jealous of how close you and I are?" I agree that talking about it (if presented correctly) will confirm my friendship with Bestie. I still feel very immature that my feelings are hurt by all of this. You'd think all this "feeling left out" stuff would end after high school, but it doesn't.