Silver Shy-Bi Girl
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    United States

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26 Excellent

About Asch311

  • Rank
    Getting Flirty
  • Birthday 03/11/1981

Profile Information

  • Music
    Hip Hop( the good stuff),Whitney Houston,Alicia Keys,Sara Bareilles, Adele,Motown hits
  • Location
  • Interests
    Spending time with my two children, reading,roller skating, dancing (especially hip-hop and reggae), catching a flick, taking a walk with great views, writing, yoga, reading.
  • Favourite TV Show
    Gilmore Girls,The Golden Girls, Grey's Anatomy, Shameless, HBO, Chopped, Real Husbands of Hollywood
  • Favourite Film
    Harry Potter, Lords of Doggtown, Sleepless in Seattle, Knocked up

Recent Profile Visitors

300 profile views
  1. i hate that I’m here upset. upset with her and slightly more upset at myself. why did i go there? why did i allow my self to anticipate and expect and ready myself for time with her? by now, i should know that hoping only leads to disappointment. and then an escalating feeling of anger toward her. Alas, i caused this. i crept into this space. i made visible my desperation to walk (not run) side by side as the hot midday sun bake us and resultingly cause sweat to drip profusely from unwarranted areas. that, i would endure to be able to see her in jogging pants accompanied by that light glow she gets when breaking a sweat. i won’t get that today. our plan did not come to fruition. and so i bathe in frustration. and more frustration and i see petulance not far from arriving. i mentally slap myself. a wake-the-hell-up kind of slap. and just enough to snap me back. to the reality of my unreciprocated desire for her. and slowly i come to peace. i’ve scolded myself enough. i realize. i am afforded a chance to practice my self control and let feelings go and be resilient. this practice is allowing me to practice. practice having no expectations. practice the overdue unhinging of attachment to her. practice no expectaions.
  2. I feel so bad that I'm here sulking and am only semi happy for her. I'm jealous! I'm upset at my self for being in love with someone who I never had a chance of being with. I know she deserves this proposal. I know she loves him and is crazy about him just enough to say "Yes" after only a year of knowing him!! I'm disappointed that I couldn't go on FB and exclaim my excitement like all her other friends and loved ones. I'm feeling sucky about feeling sucky! Of course I want her happy and and wish that all of her dreams would eventually come true. I'm disappointed that despite knowing this may very well be "written in the stars"; in the making for a long time, I'm still wanting her to be with me. I'm selfish and borderline delusional. Is it possible to remain friends while I'm hopelessly in love with her? Can I ever genuinely support her?