I want to share my story in case it inspires someone or gives them the courage to open up to their husband or friends. It was about 7 years ago that I first mentioned to my husband that I was interested in women. It was mainly just fantasies then so I didn’t dwell on it too much. As the years went by I found myself fantasizing more and more and we decided to visit a strip club so that I could experiment a little. We had an amazing night which was mostly just touching above the waist, no kissing, but it was enough to leave me wanting more. The next time we went back to the club I had my first kiss with a woman and it was amazing. We were with her for about 4 hours and I just couldn’t stop kissing and touching her. That was when I knew for sure that I was bi. My husband has been very supportive. We have discussed boundaries and decided that I can kiss and explore as much as I want above the waist but if I want to go further he has to be involved, like when we go to a strip club. I am ok with these rules because I mostly just want to feel close to a woman and kiss and touch her, so it works out great for me. I did go a little too far on a drunken night with a close friend which is why we now have these boundaries.
The main reason why I am sharing my story is because I see a lot of women asking if friends with benefits can really happen. I am extremely fortunate that my best friend (different than the friend mentioned above) and I are really close and have always been very touchy feely with each other. She was my first non-stripper kiss. It happened one night in my backyard. We were sitting out at my fire pit, under a full moon, enjoying some wine and I leaned back into her arms. We usually end up snuggling every time we are together, but this time she looked me in the eyes asked me if I wanted to kiss her. Of course I said yes and we kissed a little. Nothing passionate, just sweet and sensual. Fast forward 2 years to this past Saturday night and we had kissed only one time after the fire pit night. We had a falling out about a year ago but are now closer than ever. We often lay in each other’s arms and just talk. So this past Saturday, I’m at her apartment, and of course we are drinking wine, and we start talking about how hard it has been discovering that I’m bi and dealing with all the feelings that it brings up. It was nice to talk to her about and get a different perspective from my husband’s. After our conversation I’m laying basically on top of her on the couch and I start touching her. She says she normally hates being touched but likes it when I do it. She’s wearing this barely-there tank top and I’m running my hands all over her stomach and back and arms. She has an amazing body because she’s a personal trainer and used to be a dancer. We’re just talking as I’m touching her and it all just seems perfectly right and normal. Finally, I look down at her and say that I want to kiss her. So we kiss for a few minutes and it’s wonderful. Again we keep it mostly just sensual enjoying the closeness between us. For us it’s not about sex, it’s just about being as close as we can be to each other. We kissed again before I went home, and the whole experience was enough to leave me satisfied and happy that I got to be close with another woman. I always tell my husband afterward because no secrets is part of our agreement. It usually brings us closer because he gets turned on by me kissing other women. I know that I am extremely fortunate that I have an understanding husband that is willing to let me explore a little, and a best friend that likes to be close with me. I hope that my story will encourage other women that you can have a friends with benefits situation without sex, and it can be just as fulfilling. I was absolutely going crazy before Saturday night because it had been over a year since I had kissed a woman. Now I feel happy and I keep thinking about that night and how amazing it was, and I can’t wait for our next wine night. Even if we don’t kiss just holding her and touching her is often enough for me.