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About Ximena

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    French Kisser

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    United Kingdom

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  1. Oh my gosh I thought it was cool to be a nerd?!? One of the female only dating sites I joined I’d say at least 30% of people were self proclaimed (and proud) nerds! And all kinds of nerd-dom. I would totally date a nerd even though I can’t say I am one myself. Let your inner nerd out! It’s a good chance to embrace your full self ;) but I totally understand the photo thing, just put a generic picture you like that might say something about yourself. And as far the introvert/staying at home thing, there were profiles I saw saying similar stuff (including mine about liking to hang at home!). One of the sites even has a space you can check (optional) about how often you exercise and I was pleasantly surprised to see that there were people who ticked “occasionally” or “don’t exercise”.. not all of us are or can be gym junkies ;) I suppose try to keep you identity as private and anonymous as possible for safety, peace of mind etc, but with that try to use the chance to be who you really are, afterall you don’t want to get involved with people you’ve attracted based on hiding parts of yourself, especially when those very traits will be celebrated by the right compatible person for you. Good luck!
  2. @BiTriMama i'm still having issues with the flag.. Have changed it a few times, but just goes back.. Anyone have any ideas?..
  3. Has this issue been resolved? I've tried changing it, but it keeps going back to the original.. Now I can't even find where to change it to try again!!
  4. Pretty sure I read somewhere that she is. Ive noticed a lotttt of gay/bi women are big fans!
  5. also try and turn on your gaydar (or bi-fi!), that can help a lot just in daily life, being able to kind of pick women who are also into women. And then simple chats or small flirtations could even lead to something. I know you want to be private though, so understandable if this approach doesn't feel comfortable/safe for you. Either way, good luck!
  6. It's been an interesting few months. When I came here I thought I 'could be' bi but I wasn't sure. I also wasn't sure if I 'qualified'. Because I thought that I was only *sexually* attracted to women. I didn't think I could have a relationship with a woman. And I felt guilty that this was somehow shallow and somehow disqualified me from really being able to identify as bi. Even though I would never think that of someone else in the same situation. But I did feel bad for it. For a long time, before coming here, and until kinda recently, I couldn't really imagine myself in an actual relationship with a woman. And if I could imagine it, I kind of I thought I'd prefer to date another bi woman. Then I realised it didn't matter to me what her orientation is. At one point Inbetween all this I was really cut up over a few bad experiences with men and felt like I was done with them. Well, moreso I wanted to be done with them. But I soon realised I just can't 'be done', I still notice them and if I meet a guy I like, I'm interested and attracted in all the ways. I know it's been a rough year and I'm seeing I've just been thinking in extremes. And reacting to everything. And I'm trying to forgive myself for all that. It's been a crazy 12 months, so I'll cut myself some slack. So now, out of what feels like nowhere, the idea of being bisexual has been CONSTANTLY on my mind. Because women have been constantly.on.my.mind. Like my mind is trying to fill in something that's missing or something, even though there is no specific woman on my mind. It's gotten kind of intense there, internally... I was like ''where is all of this coming from?''... And why now? I haven't met anyone, I don't have a crush or someone who has brought this all up for me. It's just been welling up in me. But kind of In a painful way. Somewhere along the line, ive realised the idea of having a relationship with a woman feels totally normal And not Unfathomable to me like before. It could happen and I'm glad it might. But I've had a lot of other stuff going on and I've figured I've got more pressing stuff on my mind right now. plus it's not like I've met someone, it's not like I need to really decide about all this straight away. But it all just keeps COMING BACK to me and kind of taking over my thoughts. There was one point in all this where I felt super excited at these realisations .. I even felt proud, that it is such a beautiful thing, that I was celebrating inside of me. But I guess it all started to hit me in just the last few weeks. Like a tonne of bricks. This is real. This is going to be a real thing in my life. I might end up with a woman someday. Either way, this is part of me and here to stay. I kind of laugh at how this has all felt like its 'snuck up' on me - realistically all the clues have been there, waiting for lil old me to finally put together the pieces. Finally. I'm suddenly remembering a lot of feelings from my adolescence and having uh huh moments. But now, right now I'm finding myself feeling a bit ... Upset. A bit overwhelmed. And just feeling pain, which I can't really put a finger on why. I think some of it might be coming from remembering some feelings from adolescence.. When I thought for a time around age 14 that I was a lesbian. I'd mostly forgotten about that time, but only just now I'm realising that I felt real pain and rejection over that back then, even though I never really told anyone or never had more than a kiss with another girl. It's suprised me to realise I felt pain back then over liking girls and thinking I was a lesbian, and I'm kind of feeling it over again a bit. I don't know why. But the pain lately has felt more than that. I've been trying to figure it out, because it keeps coming back to me. It's suprised me to find that I think the pain is coming from needing to tell some people in my life about this, I guess to 'come out'. Not to all, but at least some. I'm suprised that this is bothering me at this point; I've felt (and posted about this) that I feel no need to come out. That its no ones business. That if/until I have someone to come out about, I probably wouldn't come out. Not to everyone anyway. But now something has welled up in me and I'm thinking (but not entirely sure) if I'm feeling all this random pain over needing to share this with people in my life. At this point it feels hidden. I'm suprised by the weight of this sudden need to come out. So I did come out, to a few newish friends.. Who are kind, open minded and supportive people, and I knew they would be accepting. They were really sweet... They were excited for me and told me they were proud of who I am i couldn't have wished for a better response! I was really happy that day. But now I'm Feeling low and upset again. I'm not sure where it's all coming from. But I'm still finding the idea of 'telling people' is still on my mind. It still feels important like something I need to do now, soon. And to tell people who I've known a lot longer and who might be suprised and maybe not be quite as supportive as the others I just told. I just fell like I need to tell this. But i don't really understand why, and I don't understand where the pain is (still) coming from really. I mean I already told some friends and they were great about it. Maybe I'm feeling I need to step out and go there with the people who might not be so easy. I just don't know what it is. I'm going to tell my mother, I know she will be ok about it luckily, but I won't see her in person for a few more months and I want to tell her in person, but the wait is kind of killing me. What have others here experienced with coming out? Did you get to a point where you just needed to, for yourself? Have you found yourself feeling all this like confusing non-descript pain? I don't really understand this part of what's going on :( maybe I'm anticipating feeling guilty or strange or unacceptable for being attracted to women by having to tell people. Again, confusing as I've been ok About it within myself.. Maybe only until it comes with having to deal with how others might make me feel about it. Any experiences from anyone who can relate would be much appreciated <3 Or is it just me? It's been such a big change from where I was at just like two months ago when I joined here... I hope this makes sense, trying to make sense of it all myself.. <3 (And sorry this is so loooong!... Talk about life story!)