Platinum Shy-Bi Girl
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HappyFrenchie last won the day on December 22 2016

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  1. It's farewell time, lovely ladies. Time for me to turn the Shybi page. I wish you all to be very happy! Thank you for what you taught me and shared with me along the way. Have a safe journey.

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. #No1Crush


      Take care lovely lady.

    3. realwldone


      so sad. How come you are leaving?

    4. SimplyTrouble


      Oh Frenchie your a good one and I hope life takes good care of you.. Big hugs and hope someday you come back...xx

  2. I like this. And life at times teaches us big lessons. :-)
  3. Lilac, yes you have a point here. I sometimes mix up words, English not being my native language, but you are right though, my thought was not spot on. In this situation, it is not about sexual practices or attraction "within" your own gender but it is about changing gender. Thank you for underlining it!
  4. Is he higher up than you in the hierarchy? Does he have any connection with you professionally other than this potentially hierarchical one? Confrontation might be what he is waiting for (was he trying to make you feel uncomfortable, to hit on you, to suggest you and him might enter such type of relation based on sexual favors at work? What is your feeling about this?). Or he may just be a complete uneducated guy thinking that this type of story is ok to tell once in a while at work and plus, to a female colleague. Do you think he is that low education wise? That ignorant of the realities of what could be considered sexual harassment at work? A woman who would have said a similar story would have been immediately considered a slut and seen as trying to sleep with her colleague! One thing for sure is that you should react. It's on you to see if you would feel better in confronting him first, or reporting him directly - also depending on your work life realities and constraints. But just think of protecting yourself at best on the short, middle and long term. From facing anything sexual at work but also from avoiding any retaliation from him. Good luck.
  5. It matters so much that pride and love win over this transition, for all of you, because each of us tries to find what their most adequate sexuality is and do not always succeed, or only partially.....there are so many reasons to that, and I guess that you could also say that if your hubby dared trying, it is because inside of him he feels that he is in the right family unit in order to try this. In some other families or with another wife, maybe that he would have been terrified, and stayed in the closed his whole life. Your hubby will have to face the whole world at some point, and he will surely also face some humiliation, some rejection, some mockery, and go through lots of pain too. So he will need his most beloved ones... This said I totally understand and realize that YOU also need love and support and understanding at the moment. Of course.! That's the reason why it would help if you both could find ways to try to support each others. Again, it's just words I know, from an outsider.
  6. You are not rambling - and if you were, you would be welcome to do so. This is quite a special situation I must say and very intense, overwhelming and I guess unexpected. Then in that case you need to find your own resources - like maybe talking online with wives who have gone through the same experience. I guess that each case is as different as each couple is but it's like finding a community of your own - women whose man has transitioned - and they would surely provide you with support and all sorts of advice. The important thing though seen from the outside is that you and him manage to keep the communication going and also talking about your kiddos - because it is going to be the huge turning point with all sort of repercussions. Maybe it would be good for your hubby to understand that if they are not sort of kept in the loop the shock might lead to fear or even resentment or shame - and I am sure that this is something he certainly does not wish, he must be wishing for, and needing, the love and support of his family in this journey, which will surely prove extremely overwhelming for him too at all levels. Again, I feel that what I am saying is quite vain because I really have no idea of this reality and know nobody in this situation around me...I wish I could help more, please pm me as much as you need, ok? Big hugs and thoughts.
  7. You have somehow defined my "wetness" situation at the moment in my hetero marriage.
  8. You have to decide what you can bear or not, as a woman, and as a wife. Also, you are going to be in charge of making decisions for your five children. They cannot do that, they do not have the capacity to do that, and the impact on them (your hubby transitioning) can be numerous. They might not necessarily all bad, as kids are in fact so open minded and can accept and understand so much before to be taken into some specific standards of life and sexuality. But, yet, this is a big big change. It will modify, for both of you and them, how they envision their dad. Love will remain, I am sure that your hubby loves you and your kids. But changes cannot be ignored. I think that first you should ask yourself, in total honesty, what you can, at this stage, deal with, or not. It's not easy because we are always influenced by our environment, there is a social fear of rejection, and fear paralyzes our mind. You and him: Would you like him to include you, involve you more along the way? Do you feel that this is somehow irreversible and he will do it either way without or with your blessing and this hurts you and scares you? Kids: What do they perceive now, of their dad's transition, and the impact on you, and have you and ur hubby talked about how far he wants to go, and what to tell the kids, at what stage, and how? You: What would be your ideal life now, partnership wise? A hetero marriage but you living a bi life? I remember your hubby being understanding about that, but obviously you would be living potentially something in a very discrete way. Would you be ok if your hubby 's needs and desires, were, like yours, hidden? If your community, your church, your kids, could not notice them? If you lived in a place where you knew nobody, but "only" had to inform your kids, would you be ok with him transitioning? I think that, also, if you could find maybe, professional help, even online, helping couples dealing with your particular situation, that might help you both. What matters though in the process (easier said than done I know...) would be that you two keep trying to talk, and remain as open as possible along the way. Have you asked your hubby how far he wants to go? And sexually and emotionally, what would change in your couple? HAs he envisioned what might end with you, what could continue, and you with him...? I think that the more you make this concrete, the more you can try to "steer" along the way and not lose control. If the process only leads to fear and rejection, it might prove terribly painful for all the protagonists. That said of course, I have no clue, never experimented something like this, this is the reason why I think that professional help could be a good way to get good guidance. My thoughts and love my friend.
  9. Hi Cali, ( I hope you are fine!) To be honest,is it really about her being a bartender...? I would just ask her if she would like to grab a coffee one day - this could be friendly (from you) or a little more than friendly, so if she has any interest in you she will accept would i be only out of curiosity and only if she wished to befriend you (at least). If you wish to be a bit more direct, well, then flirting here we come! :-D Just tell her she looks so lovely and you would love to invite her out for a drink. At that point of course, you will have made it quite clear (about your intentions). it's how you feel...but yes, I would definitely go for the direct face to face contact, not leaving a note on the table, and as Confusedin2013 said;: by yourself, not with your ex being present! Good luck!
  10. Hello there- I am not sure about the Shybi blogs but I know that on the rest of the site, pics of kids are not allowed....Also because this site is sometimes being hacked or undergoing problems, and because its content is aimed at adults, I just wanted to underline that it might not be so safe to put pics of your kid here, even on your blog page. It's just my two cents, of course - so I hope you will not mind me underlining this.
  11. ha ha ha ha ha I laughed so much! Excellent reply!
  12. First I am sorry, I hope that your son is ok, and that whatever special needs he has, he can be helped, see his life improve and stabilize at least. I am sorry for the strain this has put on your couple. It must be so hard. It's brave of you to have searched counselling, meaning you are both willing not to drown and trying to find support and solutions together. I think your feelings and position are very typical and representative of what a lot of bisexual women are going through: trying to remain faithful to their husband but feeling sexually and emotionally repressed - being bisexual and missing half of themselves - and monogamy is right but feeling repressed is not, though. It is very brave of you to have dared talking about how you really feel you are and of your needs, to a third party, as it is already very delicate to explain it to a close person and even to your spouse. So it's like you have done a double coming out! Each husband reacts differently to his wife coming out and confessing she is bisexual. Maybe it would be good to try to speak to your hubby when you are alone with him, when you both are relaxed, feeling intimate and at ease. Now, this doctor. Is it a he, a she? Is it a doctor who is used to dealing with LGBT issues, does he have the sensitivity and knowledge for that? It is a psychologist, is it what you mean with the term doctor? Because it seems to me that in the 21st century, everybody should know what bisexuality means. To accept it sadly is something else, but what is it he did not understand? I think that if from the beginning you have to justify what bisexuality is and the fact that you are this is not very encouraging for you and not fair. You should not have to justify nor have to explain what you are. He should take it on board and try to steer the session from there, remaining fair to you and your hubby. Next time try to drag him more into you in order to re establish the balance. If you feel any hostility or any biphobia this is not acceptable. He cannot help your couple if isolating or rejecting apart f yourself that once more, i would say you are really brave to have pointed out. Let us know how things go!
  13. Ha ha ha! My hubby who loves interior design and has designed and bought most of what we have indoors, asked me once to buy this lovely very nice looking green wicker laundry basket for our bedroom. Guess who was using the laundry basket...? Me. Guess who was continuously dropping his clothes on chairs, or on the floor near the bed? Male mammal. So I established a rule. What remained out of the laundry basket would not get washed. From the day he found himself with nothing left to wear a few hours before going to a some work meetings abroad, he started changing his habits. Men are stubborn but women highly persevere.
  14. How old is your daughter? What a beautiful thing to say..